Speaker 1: Ready, Welcome to another episode of Busting with Your Boy,
Speaker 1: Busting with the Boys, Busting with Your Boys. I'm your
Speaker 1: host Will Compton, co host Taylor Lawan. He is out
Speaker 1: in Canada right now. Your boy just got back from Italy.
Speaker 1: I'm about as Tanna as I've ever been. Get a
Speaker 1: good look. This will be the Tannis I will ever be.
Speaker 1: Before we get into this episode, we have to we
Speaker 1: have to shout out our sponsor Expedia for this episode.
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Speaker 2: Guys. It is.
Speaker 1: Two week vacation is a long vacation. It's a fucking
Speaker 1: long time to be away. But the wife he wanted it.
Speaker 1: The wife he wanted two weeks. She went to travel.
Speaker 1: She wanted hit Europe. Back before COVID hit. We had
Speaker 1: a trip planned, a two week trip that had like
Speaker 1: Italy involved in Europe and Croatia and shit like that.
Speaker 1: I was fucking ready to put a gun to my
Speaker 1: head because I don't enjoy being gone that long. But
Speaker 1: I've never really done it. The most we did was
Speaker 1: our honeymoon. That was the biggest vacation I ever went
Speaker 1: on in my life. I'm usually used to being gone
Speaker 1: for a week long weekend, maybe four days, maybe five,
Speaker 1: but never ten, never fucking two weeks. But I know
Speaker 1: how much we've been doing this year, and I know
Speaker 1: how many sacrifices have had to be made, especially on
Speaker 1: her end, so we can travel around and do all
Speaker 1: the things that we do.
Speaker 2: So Mama wanted a two week vacation.
Speaker 1: The best time to come up with it was uh
Speaker 1: late July, early August, in that kind of middle space
Speaker 1: around the beginning of training camp and everything else after
Speaker 1: our summer, because we had a lot of big things
Speaker 1: in the summer with our beer Olympics, which was an
Speaker 1: incredible showing.
Speaker 2: I forget what we did.
Speaker 1: I think, Yeah, I wanted to go home for the
Speaker 1: fourth of July BoNT Missouri, see the beautiful dirt and
Speaker 1: fucking brown out there. And so the wife wanted to
Speaker 1: go on a two week vacation. I was all for it,
Speaker 1: just because again she wanted that was her like big
Speaker 1: things she wanted to do. She wanted to take our
Speaker 1: beautiful child Roue with us. That was a that was
Speaker 1: a that was a tall task as well that we
Speaker 1: can get into. My only stipulation was that we ride
Speaker 1: first class or business class on the way there and back,
Speaker 1: because it is a long fucking play And that's what
Speaker 1: I don't like about those vacations that take a long
Speaker 1: fucking time to travel. To my wife's half Filipinos, she
Speaker 1: wanted to go to the Philippines one year. I committed
Speaker 1: to it was fully my flight was booked and everything else.
Speaker 1: Back out last minute. Didn't want to do it. I'm
Speaker 1: just kidding. Free agency started in my Adre was like,
Speaker 1: what are you doing? You can't like leave the country
Speaker 1: when free agency is starting because you might have to
Speaker 1: do you might have to go on visits and everything else.
Speaker 2: That was the year I signed with the Titan.
Speaker 1: So when I backed out and she was upset about
Speaker 1: it because I made a bonehead, a bonehead mistake like
Speaker 1: I seem to always do. And fortunately when she was gone,
Speaker 1: that was when I went to Buffalo and then Tennessee.
Speaker 1: But hate long fucking hate long trips. My only stipulation
Speaker 1: stipulation was to be the first class and everything else
Speaker 1: so you can lay fly, especially if we're traveling with
Speaker 1: fucking Route sixteen sixteen months old. Lover her to death.
Speaker 1: She's the best fucking tidal on the planet. But traveling
Speaker 1: with the Toddler is tough.
Speaker 2: Is war?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you are in battle. You are in the fucking trenches,
Speaker 1: And make no mistake, we were in the trenches a
Speaker 1: lot compared to all the high you know, the positives
Speaker 1: that I showed on Instagram and everything else.
Speaker 2: We get to the day of traveling.
Speaker 1: As everybody knows, I had to take the entire country
Speaker 1: into war with Expedia. Why because when we got to
Speaker 1: the airport a smooth two hours early, we were packed
Speaker 1: ready to go. And when I tell you it was
Speaker 1: time for a trip, I was excited to be the
Speaker 1: way I was excited to go to Italy. I was convinced.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, we're eating fucking pizza pasta. I carbloaded
Speaker 1: the entire time I was out there. And when we
Speaker 1: get to the airport and realized there's a little bit
Speaker 1: of a pickle that we're in, and I was like, Tapper,
Speaker 1: I'll say, hey, good thing we got to the airport earlier,
Speaker 1: were right, and we kind of chuckled and stuff.
Speaker 2: Rue was being an all star at the at the airport.
Speaker 1: We spent about four hours at the airport, only come
Speaker 1: only to find out that we were nowhere in the computers.
Speaker 2: We were nowhere in the system.
Speaker 1: And minds you, we had our receipts, like we had
Speaker 1: a receipt number, we had ticket numbers, we had our
Speaker 1: British Airline seats, our seat numbers that we were gonna
Speaker 1: be on showed in the seat map. However, British Airlines
Speaker 1: at the airport did not have us on the seat
Speaker 1: map anywhere in the computers. The only flight where we
Speaker 1: didn't have the seating assignment was our flight from Nashville
Speaker 1: to JFK because we had an infant, lap child, lap
Speaker 1: seat whatever.
Speaker 2: So they were gonna give it to us at the desk.
Speaker 2: You know how that goes. JP.
Speaker 1: We just had a little we had a little tiff
Speaker 1: with Taylor at the airport with his seat not being assigned.
Speaker 1: So I was a little nervous about that. However, so okay,
Speaker 1: we got our child. We'll just get that. We're just
Speaker 1: going to JFK. If if everything fails, I'll just buy
Speaker 1: this trip from here to JFK and then we get
Speaker 1: on that British Airlines flight from JFK to London, like
Speaker 1: was supposed to happen. American Airlines, they don't see us
Speaker 1: in the system anywhere we pull up their seat.
Speaker 2: We got this.
Speaker 1: The only thing we were told is that we had
Speaker 1: to get our seat assignment at the at the desk.
Speaker 1: We're here at the desk. We got a lot of
Speaker 1: looks that were like, oh shit, these this family is
Speaker 1: not on these flights. They are not going to Italy
Speaker 1: right now, So it seems like we couldn't just get
Speaker 1: on the flight to JFK. We back out of the
Speaker 1: line outlook up, you know. The boy adapt and provised overcome.
Speaker 1: Let's figure this out. We're going to Italy. I see
Speaker 1: the look on my wife's face. I see what's been
Speaker 1: going down. I know where this can go. This thing
Speaker 1: can go south fast.
Speaker 2: He's low key there.
Speaker 1: There there's a point where I'm like, a, I mean,
Speaker 1: it would suck, you know, sweetheart. I'll make sure we're
Speaker 1: in Italy. We'll go somewhere in the States. We'll go
Speaker 1: back to thirty eight. Yeah, we'll go the I was
Speaker 1: already thinking, let's do maybe thirty eight. Odd's a little
Speaker 1: hot right now. Maybe we'll figure something out. Maybe we'll
Speaker 1: go to Montana, but maybe we'll stay in the States.
Speaker 1: Maybe get that thing down in ten days.
Speaker 2: But we will go.
Speaker 1: Somewhere, sweetheart, don't you worry that we will figure this out.
Speaker 1: I see that there are flights available on that JFK flight.
Speaker 1: Hey babe, there's still some first class seats right here.
Speaker 1: We can fucking get there at the JFK. Once we
Speaker 1: get to JFK, we get on that same flight, the
Speaker 1: same flight to JFK was still there. They told us
Speaker 1: there are no seats. We messed with a gentleman that
Speaker 1: was not very much a gentleman. Fortunately American Airlines that
Speaker 1: will not shoot on them because they made it happen
Speaker 1: for us. This lady, God bless her work endless to
Speaker 1: the fucking end of time to get all of our
Speaker 1: situation figured out. However, that situation that got figured out
Speaker 1: and ended up being north of a lot of fucking
Speaker 1: the money. Let's just put it that way. And so
Speaker 1: I go up and I'm like, hey, here's our the
Speaker 1: fight JFK. We just buy this will be good to
Speaker 1: go right. No, you're not on the British Airlines flight, ma'am.
Speaker 1: Our seat is right here. It says we're on the break, sir.
Speaker 1: I'm just letting you know. I'm looking at the computers.
Speaker 1: The British Airline people. They don't get in here till
Speaker 1: four pm. But I've been on the phone with them
Speaker 1: One Traveler, One World or whatever, all the different phone companies,
Speaker 1: playing companies whatever. You're not on the flight. We need
Speaker 1: to be on the flight. Do you see what I'm saying?
Speaker 1: We need to be on that flight. My wife comes up, Hey,
Speaker 1: what's happening, sweetheart? You shoul probably talk to this scal
Speaker 1: because I'm not quite sure how we're gonna get on
Speaker 1: this flight. Doesn't seem like we're going to Italy anytime soon.
Speaker 1: So in another time, I'm fucking welling dealing all star
Speaker 1: dad like putting Root asleep, it's naptime. She's just get
Speaker 1: a little fussy. I'm like, fuck man, this is not good.
Speaker 1: And come to find out we can't go to Italy. However,
Speaker 1: we can now book. So four months ago we book
Speaker 1: our flights on Expedia. We've seen all the back and
Speaker 1: forth on Twitter, We've seen the comments.
Speaker 2: Listen.
Speaker 1: We booked our flights through Expedia, which I have done
Speaker 1: in the past. I did with our trip to Bora
Speaker 1: Bora for our honeymoon. Go ahead, JP.
Speaker 3: The people want to know, did you book these flights
Speaker 3: or did Charro book the flights?
Speaker 2: I booked the flights. I booked the flights. The people
Speaker 2: you were.
Speaker 3: Correct, they said Charo would never make this mistake.
Speaker 2: She wouldn't. She would and there was no fault.
Speaker 1: There was never at any moment in time of Charle
Speaker 1: being upset with how the process went. It was the
Speaker 1: lack of communication that we didn't know that there were
Speaker 1: we were apparently never seen booked on this flight, which
Speaker 1: is where the issue was. And four months ago I
Speaker 1: booked these flights. Again, my only stipulation. We travel business,
Speaker 1: and we travel we get the lay down seats. We
Speaker 1: travel first class to Italy and back, especially with Toddler,
Speaker 1: and if we're only doing two seats, because if we're
Speaker 1: not getting the third seat for Rue, I'm not fucking
Speaker 1: doing it. I'm not sitting. I'm not doing it. And
Speaker 1: four months ago, round trip about ten grand, which is
Speaker 1: a steal. That's a steal for this round trip to Italy.
Speaker 1: Fired the fuck up, we did it. We're going fast
Speaker 1: forward to day of. We're not on the flight, so
Speaker 1: now we have to rebook. I'm telling you the price
Speaker 1: that I had to swipe the card on it was
Speaker 1: more than two times that amount. And I tell Charlo
Speaker 1: and I see a look on her face. I'm like, hey, sweetheart,
Speaker 1: don't you find don't this is not gonna be the
Speaker 1: issue because we got to get to Italy.
Speaker 2: We're going to Italy.
Speaker 1: And then Charle gets on the phone with Expedia customer
Speaker 1: service while we're driving home. Are the person who dropped
Speaker 1: us off? She's now coming back to pick us up. Hey,
Speaker 1: good to see again. We're not fucking on the trip.
Speaker 1: We're staying here tonight, and we're on the phone with Expedia,
Speaker 1: and I'll spare you all the bullshit. Essentially, the customer service,
Speaker 1: like a lot of these big fucking companies, they just
Speaker 1: drag you through the mud until you want to quit.
Speaker 1: There's nothing. They can barely speak English. Let me talk
Speaker 1: to the team. Put you on hold for thirty to
Speaker 1: forty minutes.
Speaker 2: Come back.
Speaker 1: There's nothing we can do, or we'll give you a
Speaker 1: few hundred dollars in credit. We get back home and
Speaker 1: Charles like, should I hang up on I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: stay on the phone. Stay on the phone. We'll ride
Speaker 1: this out. We're gonna sit on hold as long as
Speaker 1: we need to. We get home, we give Roof some food.
Speaker 1: I ordered pizza. I tell my wife, sweetheart, we're in Italy.
Speaker 1: We're fucking going to Italy tonight. It's gonna be in
Speaker 1: Italy at the house. Pour out some wine, get out
Speaker 1: some wine, some bottles of wine. I'll order some pizza.
Speaker 1: I go and pick up the pizza we're in fucking
Speaker 1: Italy and we're on hold this whole time, and ultimately
Speaker 1: they're not able to do a whole lot. Then we
Speaker 1: get to somebody who we can speak to that's a
Speaker 1: little bit more competent and at their job. They're like, hey,
Speaker 1: we'll pay for the up charge of your tickets. That
Speaker 1: was solid, but I'm sitting there marinate on it. We
Speaker 1: gotta change. We have to change now. Our trip basically
Speaker 1: essentially gets moved back a day, so from instead of
Speaker 1: July twenty eight to August twelfth, it's now July twenty
Speaker 1: ninth to August thirteenth. With that, we had some cooking,
Speaker 1: we had some excursions that we were doing. We had
Speaker 1: our entire thing booked and planing and all that stuff.
Speaker 1: We had to change some stuff around now, which is
Speaker 1: gonna cost more money. We had to switch hotels, we
Speaker 1: had to do a longer, we had to do an
Speaker 1: extra day and could pre We had to switch things
Speaker 1: around to make sure it all like a line back
Speaker 1: up again, hoping that we would still be able to
Speaker 1: get on a.
Speaker 2: Couple of the things that we're supposed to get on.
Speaker 1: So we're still having to come out of park for
Speaker 1: some more money. It didn't sit right with me. So
Speaker 1: that is when I took to I had to, you know,
Speaker 1: take them go to the pantry, talk about this situation,
Speaker 1: use social media and leverage the influence and the political power.
Speaker 2: That may be.
Speaker 1: And so as we get going and I'm update and
Speaker 1: all this other stuff, I get to finally talk to
Speaker 1: somebody who's like more so the higher ups and everything else.
Speaker 2: We give them the ticket number and everything else.
Speaker 1: Because Expeedy was trying to pass the bag and say
Speaker 1: this is the airline's fault. We were standing there with
Speaker 1: the airline that lady worked her ass off to try
Speaker 1: and figure it out, like no, no, no, this is
Speaker 1: somebody the bag got dropped along the way, and the
Speaker 1: credit cards and the fucking transaction and everything else we
Speaker 1: need answers. So Expedia made the entire trip right, and
Speaker 1: it was a big win for house Compton and America
Speaker 1: because we almost had to sync.
Speaker 2: Their entire ship.
Speaker 1: I thought when Barcelo, when we were gonna have that
Speaker 1: team meeting, I text Dave and ask him, are we
Speaker 1: buying Expedia?
Speaker 2: If so, make me the GM. We need to make
Speaker 2: this company run a little bit.
Speaker 1: Better because I think like the customer service and just
Speaker 1: a debacle, and nobody has nobody, nobody is competent enough,
Speaker 1: nor do they care because they have to stick to
Speaker 1: a script, and then they essentially do the fucking bullshit.
Speaker 1: Let me talk to my team. They ain't talking to nobody.
Speaker 1: They're just putting you on hold, can't do nothing, hoping
Speaker 1: you hang up. And nobody has the power to actually
Speaker 1: make a decision, but they they take forever to try
Speaker 1: to get you to somebody who can make a decision.
Speaker 2: Fortunately it all worked out, but that was.
Speaker 1: That is the story about traveling to Italy and the
Speaker 1: Expedia and everything else. Are there any questions do I
Speaker 1: feel Do you feel like I covered everything?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: So ultimately, were you h you were calmed?
Speaker 2: Yes? Yes, free trip to Italy free, Willy free, Willy free,
Speaker 2: Willy Italian.
Speaker 1: We yeah, the trip got the trip got comped, It
Speaker 1: got taken care of. We had a nice email that
Speaker 1: came to us. I showed my wife and we were
Speaker 1: we had to do so when we traveled over there.
Speaker 1: We were supposed to go from JFK to London to Naples,
Speaker 1: I believe, or Florence. I don't know if Florence has
Speaker 1: an airport. I don't know, but it was two. We
Speaker 1: only had like two stops. Basically, we had to rebook,
Speaker 1: we had do an extra, we had to do a
Speaker 1: third stop, longer layover.
Speaker 2: We were in u Madrid and that's when we got
Speaker 2: the email.
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, sweetheart checked this out, cause she
Speaker 1: was kind of like chuckling and like, why are you
Speaker 1: gonna make a video?
Speaker 2: I was like, let's just see what fucking happens.
Speaker 1: Like I know that felt good too, Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: because sometimes when I'll make the videos I get there's
Speaker 1: a little bit of doubt that creeps in around me,
Speaker 1: like why you gotta why are you gonna just let's
Speaker 1: see this through, see what happens. The small guy had
Speaker 1: to stand up to the big billion dollar company somewhere
Speaker 1: along the lines, you know, when something goes viral enough,
Speaker 1: haters come out of the woodwork.
Speaker 2: There's some negativity out there.
Speaker 1: Oh look at this guy who makes millions and does
Speaker 1: all this, who's fucking bitching and stuff until he gets
Speaker 1: a free trip. We stood up to a billion dollar
Speaker 1: company eighteen billion market cap to be exact, we the
Speaker 1: little man had to stand up and there needed to
Speaker 1: be a voice for the voice. Not everybody could get
Speaker 1: on and talk and complain about how bad the customer
Speaker 1: services ran in companies like that. That is essentially the
Speaker 1: vessel that I was being. Was it trying to work
Speaker 1: out my benefit?
Speaker 5: Yeah, am am?
Speaker 1: I not being like sorry, I'm not standing and being like, hey,
Speaker 1: get it. Make sure everybody who gets fucked up, you know,
Speaker 1: make sure their trips get camped. If I see a
Speaker 1: bad situation, I am on their side. But something the
Speaker 1: New York poster writing about it. Dave comes in and it's like, hey, Dave,
Speaker 1: you want to be I thought you're trying to lead
Speaker 1: the ship. You don't look like you're trying to lead
Speaker 1: the ship. It seems like you're making it seem like
Speaker 1: we made a boneheaded decision. Whether that's up for debate
Speaker 1: or not, fine, I know it doesn't matter. I've always
Speaker 1: used Expedia. They've never burned me. I've always been a
Speaker 1: part on Expedia, Cap price line hotels. I'm always looking
Speaker 1: for the cheaper option. That's how it's gotta work. I've
Speaker 1: been that way since in college time. You can't forget
Speaker 1: where you come from, because because then you forget who
Speaker 1: you are.
Speaker 3: Oh you might have inspired Oliver Anthony to write, that's all.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's all I'm saying, bullshit, pay them over time hours.
Speaker 4: Richmond up in Richmond.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they look back. They know that, we know.
Speaker 1: But until somebody can fucking stand up strong enough and
Speaker 1: can be a little loud enough from the trenches of
Speaker 1: social media. But yeah, we got a free trip to Italy. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: Now here's where the accountability for myself has to come
Speaker 1: into play, because there is accountability in all ends, right
Speaker 1: you got You can't just watch film be like coach
Speaker 1: made the bad call he or made the wrong call.
Speaker 1: I was put in the bad position, the safety behind me,
Speaker 1: gave the wrong gave the wrong call. There's accountability for
Speaker 1: everybody to be had. Where my accountability lies is essentially
Speaker 1: a week in advance or days in advance. I need
Speaker 1: to figure out that we are established to be on
Speaker 1: these flights.
Speaker 2: That was a learning experience.
Speaker 1: Now and they're like, hey, can you look back at
Speaker 1: your credit card and confirm a lot of fucking transactions
Speaker 1: happen on my credit card.
Speaker 2: I did look back, and it didn't fully go through.
Speaker 1: It was on a hold for I don't know how long,
Speaker 1: and then ultimately it just never went through because I
Speaker 1: remember getting a little banner come down on my phone
Speaker 1: that we bought it because my wife and I we smile,
Speaker 1: We did a little ypia in the kitchen.
Speaker 2: We did it. We fucking booked it.
Speaker 1: We spent ten thousand dollars to get this trip to
Speaker 1: go to Italy, and so I saw that banner come down.
Speaker 1: Now when I looked back at my credit card statement,
Speaker 1: it didn't fully go through.
Speaker 2: So yeah, that is a mishap on my part. However,
Speaker 2: when it doesn't.
Speaker 1: Fucking go through, where's the communication that hey, this didn't
Speaker 1: fucking happen. Because again, we had our receipt number down
Speaker 1: to our seat assignment on our British Airlines flight to London.
Speaker 2: That was another thing.
Speaker 1: The same flights were still available from Nashville A JFK
Speaker 1: and JFK.
Speaker 2: To London on British Airlines.
Speaker 1: However, the lady at American Airlines was on the phone
Speaker 1: British Airlines and she even told me ahead of time,
Speaker 1: she goes, even though that's available, they're not gonna let
Speaker 1: you book the day of. Because I was like, we
Speaker 1: can bite the bullet and pay for these fucking flights.
Speaker 1: And there were a couple options, which was like quadruple,
Speaker 1: and that was when I was like, we're gonna get
Speaker 1: this figured out at some point, but right now, in
Speaker 1: the midst of chaos, when shit's in the fan, you
Speaker 1: need to make sure we're going Italy. But you couldn't
Speaker 1: buy a day of flight on British airlines. I don't
Speaker 1: know the reason. I have no clue, because there were
Speaker 1: still seats available. It's like, we can get on these
Speaker 1: same exact flights, we just have to kind of buy
Speaker 1: a day of versus when we bought four months ago
Speaker 1: at a way cheaper price. So that's where that is
Speaker 1: where I would say my accountability lies. But there's no urgency,
Speaker 1: there's no play to take that and show any type
Speaker 1: of that weakness. When you are in the middle of war,
Speaker 1: when you are in the middle of negotiation with Expedia,
Speaker 1: you can't see. You can't let that leak in the
Speaker 1: pipe happen. You gotta stay strong to what you gotta
Speaker 1: stay Intento's down. That's what we did, That's what we
Speaker 1: did as a country. And uh against for all the haters.
Speaker 1: Get fucked. Another l Yeah, another l um which leads
Speaker 1: me into my next segment, Shittiest Moment, presented by dude wives,
Speaker 1: are you still using toilet paper?
Speaker 2: Fucking stop?
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Speaker 1: wet just cleans better than wiping dry. Get confidently clean
Speaker 1: with dude wipes that gets all the shit toilet paper
Speaker 1: left behind. You can pick up dude whites on Amazon
Speaker 1: or Walmart and Target nation wide. Shittiest moment of the
Speaker 1: trip is going to also lead into my shout out,
Speaker 1: no free shout out the shittiest moment on my trip,
Speaker 1: and it is, without a fucking doubt, boys, it is
Speaker 1: getting on that flight from London to Nashville.
Speaker 2: The benefit.
Speaker 1: When we were on a cap we had to wake
Speaker 1: up four am in the morning local time, Capri wake up,
Speaker 1: get a taxi down to the port. Go from the port,
Speaker 1: Get on a ferry, massive boat. Get on a ferry.
Speaker 1: Witch seemed a little dicey. There were some fellows on there.
Speaker 1: I was like, we could be in a situation at
Speaker 1: any moment, all right, so I'm.
Speaker 2: Not fucking lying. There are a few chicks.
Speaker 1: They seemed like hookers that they were traveling with, these
Speaker 1: fucking security motherfuckers. They look like the cats from like
Speaker 1: taking because dude, big dude, big ball, motherfucker black Beard, like,
Speaker 1: look like, you don't want.
Speaker 2: To fuck with this dude. Andrew Tate.
Speaker 1: No, no, not Andrew Tate, not entrewta But he comes
Speaker 1: out of the bathroom and I'm kind of it's kind
Speaker 1: of an open there's a lot of seats, so fortunately
Speaker 1: we had some space because we're rus being awesome at
Speaker 1: this point.
Speaker 2: We're traveling smooth. We're worried about just making.
Speaker 1: Sure we get on our flights because we don't want
Speaker 1: to the same day before. We're like, hey, we're confirmed
Speaker 1: for tomorrow's flights, YadA YadA. And this guy comes out
Speaker 1: of the bathroom and walks next to this gym and
Speaker 1: trying to fall asleep. Just does a massive clap next
Speaker 1: to him, kind of like wake some of the guy
Speaker 1: like looks as he's like walking by.
Speaker 2: He kind of looks back and chuckles.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking we got a fucking bully, possibly a murderer
Speaker 1: on this flight. They're sitting kind of away from the
Speaker 1: girls and kind of looking around and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: But it fell at a little dicey, and so we
Speaker 1: take a ferry over to Naples, Napoleon, Napoli, Napoli, Napoli,
Speaker 1: and when we go from all Napoli, we get on
Speaker 1: the flat Napoli, fly up to London and then London over.
Speaker 2: To Nashville, which is a smooth, smooth transitions.
Speaker 1: We get to London, we get the London airport, beautiful airport,
Speaker 1: by the way, and Rue's being phenomenal at this point.
Speaker 1: This is the shittiest moment is traveling with your toddler.
Speaker 1: We get on the flight to come to Nashville. Rue
Speaker 1: once decides that she wants to have the worst moment
Speaker 1: in her sixteen sixteen months of life. While we're all
Speaker 1: seated around everybody and I'm talking hyperventilation, I'm talking it was.
Speaker 2: We were in the shit. We were in the fucking trenches.
Speaker 2: Leave there.
Speaker 1: That was one point where I look back and if
Speaker 1: I had the option of taking the electric chair, I
Speaker 1: would have taken the electric chair.
Speaker 2: It got so bad that there.
Speaker 1: Was one moment trying to like, Rue, you have to
Speaker 1: stop stop crying, like you have to calm down and
Speaker 1: breathe because we're you know, we're weathering the stone.
Speaker 2: We're sitting there, we're fucking doing this head, no fucking
Speaker 2: I'm doing.
Speaker 5: We're doing.
Speaker 1: Hey, here's tiger, Tiger. Oh, look at this, Look at
Speaker 1: the plane, Look out there, look at this. Trying to
Speaker 1: get her calm because she's she's just overtired. She hasn't
Speaker 1: taken a nap. We're trying to get her to sleep.
Speaker 1: She wants to climb on stuff. She wants to sweetheart,
Speaker 1: you can't do that right now. We have to put
Speaker 1: this red seat belt on you. She didn't want to
Speaker 1: get be confined. She's very independent, wants to move, wants
Speaker 1: to be out and about. Doesn't want to be confined
Speaker 1: by the infant seat belt. Even got to a point
Speaker 1: to where some older gentleman you heard like Ash's crying.
Speaker 1: You just hear wa where And buddy, when I tell
Speaker 1: you that I wanted to come unglued, we stay composed.
Speaker 1: And I kind of did one of those things where
Speaker 1: I kind of like sit up and I like look
Speaker 1: around and I'm trying to make contact with anybody it
Speaker 1: could have been throughout the thing, just to let them know, Hey,
Speaker 1: I know he's an old man and you're about to
Speaker 1: get the young bull. The Pauls were about to be
Speaker 1: pought on this old man. Yeah, come for the belt
Speaker 1: shot at the title might have had to happen. Charles
Speaker 1: seemed to think that, hey, I think something is a
Speaker 1: little off with the old man.
Speaker 2: So that will give him that reason.
Speaker 1: But I was ready to fucking drag this person because
Speaker 1: there's nothing worse. First of all, there's nothing worse than
Speaker 1: that happening. My anxiety already builds up because I don't like, Hey,
Speaker 1: let's fucking I'm We gotta keep our head, we gotta
Speaker 1: keep level heads. I know you're sixteen months old, but
Speaker 1: we need to have some poise. You're not gonna make
Speaker 1: it the second preseason game. You're gonna have to turn
Speaker 1: your iPad quick if you keep this shit up. And
Speaker 1: the parents are in it, right, you know you have
Speaker 1: to say whatever another lady, Hey, we think she's this
Speaker 1: and that and blah blah blah, and it's like, okay,
Speaker 1: fucking stay over there. We appreciate you for helping. We
Speaker 1: know ultimately you just want to help out as well.
Speaker 1: But you're just you're in it, you're upset, you're tired yourself.
Speaker 1: But that was the shittiest moment brought by dude wives
Speaker 1: of the trip, which leads into my shout out, no
Speaker 1: free shout out, there is no better feeling.
Speaker 2: Go ahead, sponsors. Yeah, so we got two separate ones.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, that Rue having the worst moment in her
Speaker 1: sixteen months of life. How to happen when we haven't
Speaker 1: even taken off from the flight in London. We're still
Speaker 1: sitting on the runway. Bags took too long to get loaded.
Speaker 1: Apparently we're an hour delayed, so we're sitting on an extra hour.
Speaker 1: On top of that, I ate our flight. Ruth's having
Speaker 1: this moment minute twenty probably span out over twenty five
Speaker 1: minutes for dad, fucking fot why bother the year?
Speaker 2: Gets her to sleep?
Speaker 1: Thank God, I'm talking not only get her to sleep,
Speaker 1: but she's so hot and sweating from all the hyperventilating
Speaker 1: and crying. I'm sweating, I'm leaking everywhere, and I just
Speaker 1: have to sit and take it. Boys and just smile.
Speaker 1: God next to me, Stevenson Ranch rocking and Stevenson Ranch hat.
Speaker 2: Even more paramount than I say, poise.
Speaker 1: But he looks over and smiles that we have a
Speaker 1: seven month old, like just trust us, like you're not
Speaker 1: bothering us.
Speaker 2: I'm thinking she's bothering you, she's bothering me.
Speaker 1: And it's all right if she's not bothering you, because
Speaker 1: I'm fucking I'm in it right now. But leads me
Speaker 1: into my next shot out, no for shoutout, which is
Speaker 1: brought to us by Paramount Plus.
Speaker 2: Guys, stick with us. There's a lot of ads on
Speaker 2: this episode.
Speaker 1: It is what it is, but this shot out, no
Speaker 1: for shotout is coming to us from Paramount Plus.
Speaker 2: Can you feel it?
Speaker 1: Do you feel that tickle that's going on down in
Speaker 1: the forest?
Speaker 2: What is that?
Speaker 1: It's almost that time of year, that time of year,
Speaker 1: football foot fall season once again. You're home to stream
Speaker 1: the NFL on CBS all season long. Your Paramount Plus
Speaker 1: account also gives you an all access pass to twenty
Speaker 1: four to seven NFL content all week.
Speaker 2: With CBS Sports HQ as Headquarters short for Headquarters.
Speaker 1: Fantasy Football Today, NFL Slime Time, and much more. Stream
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Speaker 1: go and follow the Road to Las Vegas as Josh Allen,
Speaker 1: the Boy, Joe Burrow, Aaron Rodgers, the Boy, Justin Herbert
Speaker 1: Jalen hurtson all of the NFL's best try to take
Speaker 1: down Patrick Mahomes, not the Boy, and the defending champion
Speaker 1: the Chiefs. Watch your local game live every Sunday, starting
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Speaker 1: If there's a Paramount plus dot com slash NFL to
Speaker 1: start your free trial today. The aller ends on September twentieth.
Speaker 1: Annual plan only terms and conditions apply. Stream the NFL
Speaker 1: on CBS Live on Paramount Plus, which leads me into
Speaker 1: my shout out, no free shout out. There is no
Speaker 1: better feeling than once you arrive and touch down on
Speaker 1: us soil, drive home, get home to a clean house,
Speaker 1: and get in your fucking sheets. Boys, baby goes down
Speaker 1: easy and smooth because she was overtired again.
Speaker 2: We battled a long time on an ur.
Speaker 1: Flight and we had such a great vacation, like Italy
Speaker 1: was incredible, incredible, breathtaking. All the spots we went to
Speaker 1: offered something different. And I'm sitting there wondering why am
Speaker 1: I so fucking happy to be home? And I thought
Speaker 1: about the shittiest moment when we had the battle for
Speaker 1: those eight hours on that fucking flight home. We were
Speaker 1: so happy to get home, and when I laid down
Speaker 1: because the beds were a.
Speaker 2: Little stiff in Italy.
Speaker 1: Just FYI, anybody in Italy over there listening right now
Speaker 1: that owns a hotel, beds are a little stiff, but
Speaker 1: the comfort of your own bed and crawling in them sheets,
Speaker 1: and getting home and getting back from a long trip,
Speaker 1: being gone a long time, We've been smiling ever since.
Speaker 1: But that is my shot out, no free shoutout, is
Speaker 1: getting home after a long fucking vacation, brought to you
Speaker 1: by Paramount plus Taste the Mountain. What else has happened? Man,
Speaker 1: Barstool Dave Portnoy fucking does it again, Savage? One of
Speaker 1: the it's been said and talked about, one of the
Speaker 1: Hall of Fame business deals. Years ago, what is it?
Speaker 1: Three years ago Penn bought Barstool Sports for north of
Speaker 1: five hundred million dollars half a billy, as they like
Speaker 1: to say. And now three years later, seems like Penn
Speaker 1: got into a position to where we didn't make the
Speaker 1: right decision as far as wanting to capitalize on the
Speaker 1: market share that we thought we could acquire versus their
Speaker 1: competitors like DraftKings and FanDuel and all the others that
Speaker 1: are out there. So they wanted to make a pivot
Speaker 1: and get in bed with the ESPN. So when you've
Speaker 1: acquired Barstool, now you got to go to back to
Speaker 1: where that conversation started.
Speaker 2: All roads lead back. It was always Dave Portnoy.
Speaker 1: And Dave at this point now has the leverage to Okay, well,
Speaker 1: how do you want to do this? Now you sign
Speaker 1: a little non compete for several months and you get
Speaker 1: your company back.
Speaker 2: Oh, and you have to give fifty percent of the
Speaker 2: pro seeds.
Speaker 1: If you say, if a sale happens again, that Dave
Speaker 1: is probably never.
Speaker 2: Going to sell Barsol Sports again.
Speaker 1: So Penn will probably never see that upside of that
Speaker 1: fifty percent. This is a massive win for all of them.
Speaker 1: And a lot of people were like I was seeing
Speaker 1: people say, oh, this is hilarious. Pen realized like Barcel sucks.
Speaker 1: They they weren't the right partner. YadA, YadA, YadA. Like
Speaker 1: Barstool now has full control of their brand again, like
Speaker 1: they have full control of the Pirate Chip. They've port
Speaker 1: of owns one hundred percent of that. And now there's
Speaker 1: new life and you can see it already, you can
Speaker 1: feel it, you can hear it. There's new life in
Speaker 1: all the Barcel offices. They're having all those meetings and
Speaker 1: everything else. You can see every personality now has new
Speaker 1: life injected into them because they're now and full control
Speaker 1: and back to what they were known as, which is
Speaker 1: they've said it content content content.
Speaker 2: They don't have to.
Speaker 1: Worry about when you're in that world of what is
Speaker 1: it called regulate, that regulated world of the corporate world,
Speaker 1: public publicly sold companies, all that kind of stuff. It's
Speaker 1: more of a bottom line mentality. And when things aren't
Speaker 1: going well, they might be funny to you all that
Speaker 1: could be a good little stick, that could be this
Speaker 1: that the other. If it's not pouring into the bottom line,
Speaker 1: you have to cut them loose because you have to
Speaker 1: worry about the bottom line more than anything else, because
Speaker 1: you have to appease the shareholders and the people, the
Speaker 1: powers above you that are there because again it's a
Speaker 1: publicly traded company and they're competing against all the big
Speaker 1: players in the in the in.
Speaker 2: The industry right.
Speaker 1: And the reason it's a win for Barsool because they
Speaker 1: now have full control. They are now operating the way
Speaker 1: they want to operate, freely with no no like the
Speaker 1: MINSI Minsi's back day want sign MINSI back. The pirate
Speaker 1: ship is back to what it was known as their authenticity,
Speaker 1: their creativity, allow their creators to create and it's all
Speaker 1: but fucking good content. Work your dick off and create
Speaker 1: good content. Knowing that Dave is not going to sell
Speaker 1: and Dave is kind of you can kind of see
Speaker 1: the energy that Dave.
Speaker 2: Now has getting back into it.
Speaker 1: Leading with that with that iron fist messing with everybody
Speaker 1: back at HQ. The reason it's a win for also
Speaker 1: another reason it's a win for barstool because I'm somebody
Speaker 1: who has some stock equity and stock options in pen
Speaker 1: with my individual deal that I had when Bustin extended
Speaker 1: their deal.
Speaker 2: The reason that that is a big win is now
Speaker 2: that they're no.
Speaker 1: Longer in the public eye partner with a company like Barstool,
Speaker 1: They're not partnered with a company like ESPN. ESPN is
Speaker 1: throwing a fuck load of money. I've been seeing that.
Speaker 1: It's like, hey, this is scene as kind of a
Speaker 1: hell Mary, because ESPN has been a little late getting
Speaker 1: to the into the game. However, you go from I
Speaker 1: want to say barstool is around how many monthly viewers,
Speaker 1: what's their monthly audience, like sixteen million?
Speaker 2: I could be butchering that.
Speaker 1: But let's just say it's one or two tenths of
Speaker 1: what the ESPN and audience is in ESPN on the
Speaker 1: outside looking in Disney, all that other stuff they're buddied
Speaker 1: up is more of like the good player, not the edgy.
Speaker 1: Holy shit, they're in bed with Barstool. People hate them.
Speaker 1: They want to see him go down, so every hit
Speaker 1: piece will come out. No, they're they're in with a
Speaker 1: partner like ESPN. Now they have big players like McAfee
Speaker 1: and everybody else. Now with PEN position and partnered with ESPN,
Speaker 1: now you can see people who have are in the
Speaker 1: game with the stock and everything else that hopefully knock
Speaker 1: on wood. We're all rooting for it to work out.
Speaker 1: The partnership with Pen and ESPN. You want it to
Speaker 1: work because you want the stock price to go higher
Speaker 1: because then the money that everybody had in PEN that
Speaker 1: was with Barsool, that goes higher as well. So everybody's like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's hilarious days failing he lost so much money of
Speaker 1: the stock.
Speaker 2: Plumbt YadA YadA. No, now you.
Speaker 1: Get, we get they get, We get to sit back
Speaker 1: and people get their Barsol gets the root for the
Speaker 1: for the billion dollar corporate entity because there's some skin
Speaker 1: in the game still there, right, So that is why
Speaker 1: it is ultimately a win for a place like Barstool,
Speaker 1: where it's a win for pen Is they are now
Speaker 1: partnered with. They need to acquire more market share. The
Speaker 1: deal they had to sit back and look at it
Speaker 1: with Barstool, that wasn't a good enough move to acquire
Speaker 1: Barstool and lean on them fully to establish a higher
Speaker 1: market share when it comes to competing against the Drivetkings
Speaker 1: and the fan duel. Now they have to partner with
Speaker 1: somebody that's a more credible and more credible corporate entity
Speaker 1: like an ESPN to hopefully drive that market share up
Speaker 1: because now they're going to be hopefully in more homes.
Speaker 1: You hope people like Pat McFee and them get involved.
Speaker 1: They're pushing this ESPN bet. The same sportsbook and operation
Speaker 1: and tech that Barsol sportsbook was using.
Speaker 2: Now hopefully they pour into that tech with ESPN and
Speaker 2: they boost that to the moon.
Speaker 1: So that's why it seems like a win for everybody,
Speaker 1: and the win for ESPN they don't get there's no
Speaker 1: acquisition to be made. They're licensing their brand, So pin
Speaker 1: the spot that they're in. They go from buying a
Speaker 1: company to acquire market share. Now they're out of it.
Speaker 1: Now they gotta spend three x and instead of owning
Speaker 1: a company, now they're licensing it for ten years, hoping
Speaker 1: that this move pays off and acquires them more market share.
Speaker 1: So there's a lot of moving parts, but ultimately it
Speaker 1: seems like the right move for everybody and a big
Speaker 1: win for everybody. The one you're rooting for and everything
Speaker 1: else is now penned because they're making these big pivots
Speaker 1: and trying to pour in.
Speaker 2: Hey, let's fucking.
Speaker 1: Try and acquire a little bit more market share and
Speaker 1: usually utilize a company like ESPN because we feel like
Speaker 1: we might be capped out and tapped out with barseool.
Speaker 2: So all that makes sense, the art of the deal,
Speaker 2: the art of the deal. They've bought that company back
Speaker 2: for one fucking dollar.
Speaker 3: And it was like you said, win win one win
Speaker 3: was probably a little bit bigger than the other, but
Speaker 3: it's win win.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is a win win.
Speaker 1: Like at the end of the day, you're gonna see
Speaker 1: everybody talk about you know, people are like, oh, Dave's
Speaker 1: gonna sell his stock. There's no reason to sell the stock.
Speaker 1: It's still sitting at a spot where during COVID it
Speaker 1: was up. It it was up as high as one
Speaker 1: hundred per share at one point, but it's not where
Speaker 1: one of And if you sell now, there's a lot
Speaker 1: of tax. There's a lot of like tax taxing penalties
Speaker 1: that happen if you sell in the short term. So
Speaker 1: you want you want to root for them, Hey, go
Speaker 1: run off into the sunset with you. We get to
Speaker 1: do our thing what we were best at. We we
Speaker 1: don't have to worry about it. We don't have to
Speaker 1: stress every night about what what the bottom line looks like.
Speaker 1: Dave has made so much money that he gets to
Speaker 1: sit back and run it. However he wants to run it,
Speaker 1: and he empowers his creators to do so, and everybody
Speaker 1: that kind of run their thing and do their thing,
Speaker 1: which is what you want.
Speaker 2: But yes, it is a win win.
Speaker 1: Nonetheless, we've been we've been, we've been slinging it boys.
Speaker 1: What else do we have your tier talk? What do
Speaker 1: we want our tear talk to be? The tier talk?
Speaker 1: Oh well, we'll wait, We'll take a pause right now,
Speaker 1: We'll take a little bit of a breather, and.
Speaker 2: We're back we'll be Yeah, we tier talk.
Speaker 3: It could be like how best Italian dishes or best
Speaker 3: overall cuisines.
Speaker 1: I don't know if we want here kind of tough
Speaker 1: on the best way. Yeah, yeah, because Taylor thinks Italian's overrated.
Speaker 1: Oh I'll say this just going back on the Italy trip,
Speaker 1: because I essentially just talked about the Expedia and the
Speaker 1: shitty travel back and the shout out that led into that.
Speaker 2: Dude, Italy we again.
Speaker 1: We hit Florence, Rome, Sorrento and some of the Multi
Speaker 1: coast and then Capri. Every spot in Italy has just
Speaker 1: something different to offer. Like, it was incredible you saw
Speaker 1: off in Florence and you just feel the vibe of
Speaker 1: like it's gonna sound cheesy, but like love and passion
Speaker 1: is the fucking games a little it's not a little gay,
Speaker 1: but you changed the cuisine, the just the walking in
Speaker 1: their streets and their buildings and like, I don't know, man,
Speaker 1: it's it was incredible.
Speaker 2: It was awesome.
Speaker 1: You just felt like you weren't on that the people
Speaker 1: over in Italy, especially in Florence. You're not on the
Speaker 1: Hampshire wheel of life. You're not on the grind of
Speaker 1: just I'm sure people are over there, but I'm just
Speaker 1: the vibe walking around. Everyone so hospitable, everyone is so nice.
Speaker 1: It was, it was awesome. Then you go to Rome
Speaker 1: and do the history in Rome is insane. I found
Speaker 1: myself on chat GPT just getting lost and asking all
Speaker 1: questions about like how Rome fell because all the statues
Speaker 1: and you realize there's buildings that are standing there for
Speaker 1: two thousand years. Why are they still standing there? Why
Speaker 1: is they they etched in this concrete into statues and
Speaker 1: storytelling and everything else.
Speaker 2: Why did it fall?
Speaker 1: What Roman emperors came through that ultimately led to the
Speaker 1: fall of ancient Rome?
Speaker 2: Why did you know? How did it move forward?
Speaker 1: And how did Catholicism become such a mainstay over there
Speaker 1: when Rome fell at the time, Because then we go
Speaker 1: over to the Vatican and you're touring that all of
Speaker 1: those cathedrals and everything else and seeing where the pope
Speaker 1: was and all that shit, and it's just insane. And
Speaker 1: then you understand. And again, I was never a history
Speaker 1: guy growing up. I was like math and science because
Speaker 1: there was always it was. Math and science are more
Speaker 1: objective than anything else. There's not a lot of subjectivity
Speaker 1: like history and fucking English, those classes and writing and reading,
Speaker 1: and so I never really cared for history. But I'm
Speaker 1: sitting there listening to everything and again with chat GPT.
Speaker 2: I know that sounds.
Speaker 1: Hilarious, but you're learning about Michaelangelo being up there for
Speaker 1: five years painting that Sistine Chapel, and it's just fucking insane.
Speaker 1: All of the history that's there, and how it has
Speaker 1: stood the test of time, why it stood the test
Speaker 1: of time, why stories have changed now you're going on tours,
Speaker 1: and why these these people leaning the tours are saying
Speaker 1: it this way and not a different way. And I'm
Speaker 1: wanting to learn about how the emperors, because you know,
Speaker 1: the victors write history. So it's like, I wonder how
Speaker 1: these powers came about. Then you're seeing the Colisseum and
Speaker 1: thousands of men died, like at any given moment, fifty
Speaker 1: to eighty thousand people stacked that place screaming for death
Speaker 1: and fucking bloodshed, loving it. And it's like the modern
Speaker 1: day gladiators of the UFC that we have now and
Speaker 1: thinking about playing football and just for entertainment everything else,
Speaker 1: like it was no different.
Speaker 2: However, it was fucking death. People died, man verse man.
Speaker 1: They want to spice it up man vers animal, animal
Speaker 1: versus animal. They're bringing in fucking drafts for men to
Speaker 1: fight because they're exotic and they weren't known, so it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: what the fuck are these beasts gonna be like? Only
Speaker 1: to get taken down by the sword. But all of
Speaker 1: these different games just to entertain the masses. It's insane.
Speaker 1: And now look at us, and now look at chock.
Speaker 1: Can you get that sunscreen on my back?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that SPA fifty you might get in that fucking
Speaker 1: uh what's it called?
Speaker 2: That?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 2: The uh? I forget what the sunscreen is called. But
Speaker 2: you're right.
Speaker 1: Can we get the ac? Like what these fucking hotels
Speaker 1: in here? We need a little bit more. We need
Speaker 1: Italy needs to bang the AC a little bit more.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that, because it gets a little stuffy
Speaker 1: over Then they don't. I want AC blasted in the car.
Speaker 1: I want AC blasted in my hotel room. But yeah,
Speaker 1: now look at us bitching over Expedia. But me and
Speaker 1: they were put us in the arena soft man. But
Speaker 1: it was fucking awesome. We watch Gladiator one night because
Speaker 1: you just get so motivated and inspired by it all.
Speaker 2: Then you go from Rome which is exactly like you know,
Speaker 2: just like the.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna butcher all this, but just the just the
Speaker 1: stone and the red and like the vibe the environment
Speaker 1: it feels. Then you're in Florence and there's more greenery
Speaker 1: and like I said, love poetry shit like that. Then
Speaker 1: you go down to Sorrento and just a gorgeous fucking
Speaker 1: place like out of a out of a Disney movie.
Speaker 2: Insane.
Speaker 1: Then you go over to Capri and you're you're getting
Speaker 1: a tour around the island and you just see, you know,
Speaker 1: you just see it all like art. It's fucking weird.
Speaker 1: It does something weird to you that makes you want
Speaker 1: to look into it and it's like, you know, maybe
Speaker 1: I kind of do want to pick up the book Sapiens.
Speaker 1: Maybe I kind of do want to read up on
Speaker 1: history now because you just get like you just feel
Speaker 1: it over there. It's really cool, man, But Italy was awesome.
Speaker 1: Is there a tear talk that we can now go
Speaker 1: off of that will be this tear talk will be
Speaker 1: brought to us by whistle Pig whiskey boys.
Speaker 2: There's different kinds.
Speaker 1: We got the rye, which is what they're known for
Speaker 1: out on the Hills of Vermont, the Mountains of Vermont.
Speaker 1: They're ten their age ten years. They're a small batch
Speaker 1: ride from whistle Pick. I like their twelve year of
Speaker 1: the best. Their ten is fucking phenomenal and very popular.
Speaker 1: They're most known for their six year. That's the one
Speaker 1: that gets sold by the masses everywhere else. And then
Speaker 1: they got a little spice. They got a little spice
Speaker 1: in their nuts and they wanted to drop a bourbon,
Speaker 1: their bourbon. They wanted to partner with busting with the boys.
Speaker 1: That's why you see a little sticker. We got to
Speaker 1: pick our bottle of bourbon while we're out there in Vermont.
Speaker 1: So you can get You can get these whistle Pig
Speaker 1: bottles anywhere at your local retailers that sell whistle Pig.
Speaker 1: Summer Fridays are a thing of the past. It's time
Speaker 1: for the Friday Ridday and whistle Pig whiskey. Grab yourself
Speaker 1: a glass, grab yourself a bottle, like I just said,
Speaker 1: a bottle of whistle Pig whiskey, and kiss your work.
Speaker 1: They could buy this summer Summer ride Day brought to
Speaker 1: you by whistle Pig. We will now talk about our
Speaker 1: tier talk. That's brought to us by Whistle Pig and
Speaker 1: our Tier talk this week will be.
Speaker 3: It could be Greatest Warriors, like you know Gladiator Alexander
Speaker 3: the Great.
Speaker 2: I watched Troy.
Speaker 1: I wanted to text you, but by the time I
Speaker 1: got downe watching it, I'm like, Okay, he's he's probably
Speaker 1: in bed right now, like you're on a weird fucking
Speaker 1: schedule time clock when you're over there. But I watched Troy.
Speaker 1: Hey loved it. How sexy is that motherfucker? Brad pitt O?
Speaker 2: Gosh, that's why your name won't be remembered the little
Speaker 2: kid when.
Speaker 1: He Johnson told that story, I'm thinking he's talking to
Speaker 1: some fucking adult.
Speaker 2: He's talking to some little boy.
Speaker 1: Are you never scared? I saw this man. You won't
Speaker 1: be able to beat him. He's he's massive. That's why
Speaker 1: your name won't be remembered.
Speaker 2: We can do that.
Speaker 3: We can do best best smells. Oh, I'm not prepared
Speaker 3: for tr talk best amenities on a plane ride, we.
Speaker 1: Go for best smells, best smells, best smells, JP, Do
Speaker 1: you want to kick us off with best smells?
Speaker 2: Tier talk?
Speaker 4: All right, yeah, I can do this. You can do
Speaker 4: this shape.
Speaker 3: Let's see Tier three I will go with fresh cut grass.
Speaker 4: Talk to you feel the hard work when you smell.
Speaker 3: The fresh cut fresh cut grass, and that's always a
Speaker 3: nice smell. Tier two Japanese food, and I love especially
Speaker 3: when you can smell it when you're driving past the
Speaker 3: Japanese restaurant and you're like, oh man, what was that
Speaker 3: or free samples. Those smells from the Japanese places are
Speaker 3: really good. And Tier one on the opposite spectrum would
Speaker 3: be a fart, a fart that really smells.
Speaker 2: And everybody don't.
Speaker 3: Lie only if hey only if it's coming from only
Speaker 3: if it's coming from you, though not somebody else's because
Speaker 3: when you touch of in yourself in the bed, we
Speaker 3: all do take that little that's small, little sniff to
Speaker 3: and if it, if it is ripping, you're like, you
Speaker 3: hate it, but you kind of love it. You're like
Speaker 3: that was kind of that was impressive, Like god damn it,
Speaker 3: but you don't share that with anybody, but you do,
Speaker 3: like you everybody smells it. Yeah, those are my my
Speaker 3: best smells.
Speaker 2: Nice.
Speaker 6: I love that, Jack oh Am, I going on one
Speaker 6: hundred three JV putting something that comes out of your
Speaker 6: ass as the best smell out there.
Speaker 2: Go ahead, going inch north, tell them what the telling
Speaker 2: what the teer three?
Speaker 7: Your Tier three smell is Tier three for me is
Speaker 7: fresh cooked bacon in the morning, waking after that. This
Speaker 7: is a good breakfast played, especially when it's unannounced and
Speaker 7: someone just kind of woke up early and it's cooking
Speaker 7: breakfast made for the squad.
Speaker 2: That's a great one.
Speaker 7: Tier two is going to be, uh what dryer sheets
Speaker 7: in the laundry. The smell really like freshens up that
Speaker 7: that load after he gets out of the dryer. Love
Speaker 7: that smell Number one, No, it is, It's just it's
Speaker 7: not gonna be ass I know that. It is Subway
Speaker 7: in the early two thousands, Yes, dud, what I'm talking like,
Speaker 7: it doesn't know. Yeah, or but Subway back in like
Speaker 7: two thousand, likes seven or eight you walk in there.
Speaker 2: I don't know what it was. It's something in that bread.
Speaker 7: But yeah, something about Subway in like the mid to
Speaker 7: late two thousands was a special time. So yeah, that's
Speaker 7: my number one.
Speaker 8: Mitch, My Tier three, it's gonna be walking into a diner,
Speaker 8: just that smell of all like the fresh bake goods,
Speaker 8: the fresh breakfast, the bacon, like what Jack said and
Speaker 8: just just breakfast food and the environment of the diner.
Speaker 4: It's just like I'm ready to just pound some food hard.
Speaker 8: My Tier two is what JP said, fresh cut grass,
Speaker 8: just the the like smelling that reminds me personally a
Speaker 8: fall and like a football and it's just like, hey,
Speaker 8: we're back, like football is back, and you there's it's
Speaker 8: you just can't beat that, like just with football in
Speaker 8: the air.
Speaker 2: It is that fresh cut grass in the air.
Speaker 8: My Tier one is, uh, is gasoline going to going
Speaker 8: to like the gas I'm not.
Speaker 2: Gonna smelly blow key you took mind.
Speaker 8: No, I'm not gonna smell your hand right now, but
Speaker 8: I get it. But like when you're when you're at
Speaker 8: like when you're at the gas station and like you
Speaker 8: just tie. It's definitely it's definitely not good for you.
Speaker 8: But my tier one.
Speaker 1: Gasoline, I like that With that for that reason, I
Speaker 1: guess I won't use it because gasoline was in mind
Speaker 1: as well. My Tier three is going to be at
Speaker 1: fall weather, the autumn leaves, that crisp wind that hit
Speaker 1: your nostrils when you step out that front door, and
Speaker 1: you know, could be Thursday, it could be Friday. You know,
Speaker 1: the weekend is upon us. You know that college game
Speaker 1: you're gonna go to is that much closer. That car
Speaker 1: you're about to jump in for a little road trip
Speaker 1: to the college game, that Sunday NFL game.
Speaker 2: You're gonna watch with the boys is that much closer.
Speaker 1: And the radio you just you fuck with it a
Speaker 1: lot more when it's full time football season, like you said,
Speaker 1: with your fresh cut grass. But that autumn wind once
Speaker 1: Spootober is here and you just have those nice Friday
Speaker 1: morning vibes when you step out the front door. That again,
Speaker 1: that crisp that hits the nostrils.
Speaker 2: My tier too. It's gonna be.
Speaker 1: That the body odor from the shoulder pads when you
Speaker 1: walk in the line room on that first day of
Speaker 1: whether it's training camp or.
Speaker 2: And you know.
Speaker 1: It's here, and you smell them paths and they fucking stink,
Speaker 1: and you you crave it, like, am I gonna put
Speaker 1: my shoulder pads on to day with no undershirt? Am
Speaker 1: I gonna give a little whiff to that, to the
Speaker 1: little belt to connect to smell that odor a little
Speaker 1: bit more, to know that sweat equity is getting put in.
Speaker 1: That's my tier two. The body odor of shoulder pads
Speaker 1: My tier one is gonna be cal manure. When you're
Speaker 1: driving out in the country, or you're in the country
Speaker 1: and you crack them windows, or you step out of
Speaker 1: the car, you step out of that car door and
Speaker 1: you get a whiff of that manure around and you
Speaker 1: just know you are in God's country. You are in
Speaker 1: the authenticity of what American soil is about. And that
Speaker 1: is maneuver. That is my tier one, and that concludes
Speaker 1: my tier talk. My tier three is gonna be gasoline.
Speaker 1: But you you snap that up. And then when you
Speaker 1: said football, like, I know the fresh cut grass, which
Speaker 1: is true, but I want something a little different, a
Speaker 1: little spicy. All right, what else do we have? We're
Speaker 1: gonna we have a Christa Stefano. The interview insane. I've
Speaker 1: been seeing people, they've been craving the Christa Stephano interview.
Speaker 1: He threw me for a loop a little bit by surprise.
Speaker 1: I was caught off guard. He was right after Tom Sagura.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like Shane, you didn't really know a
Speaker 1: whole lot. I know the clips I saw christ Stephano.
Speaker 1: He seemed like a very high vibe, high energy cat.
Speaker 1: But the dude goes every different direction that gets you
Speaker 1: a little oh shit. Yeah, okay, we'll talk about that,
Speaker 1: but you sit back and enjoy this one. This one's
Speaker 1: a great time. But without further ado, here is Chris
Speaker 1: comedian Chris the Stefano. All Right, we interrupt this episode
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Speaker 2: Back to the episode we were rolling, we were just
Speaker 2: talking about diapers.
Speaker 9: Though, yes, my wife wants to do a th and
Speaker 9: like the number one thing keeping me away is having
Speaker 9: to go through it again.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's people for you. Forget about the diapers. That's
Speaker 5: the hardest part of everything is the diapers and the
Speaker 5: carrying her. You know. I it's like when you pack
Speaker 5: it up, it's like it's like I'm packing up for
Speaker 5: like a mission, like a Navy seal mission, and you're
Speaker 5: just going to Every time I pack my kids up
Speaker 5: to go to the supermarket, I'm like, we're gonna kill
Speaker 5: bin laden again.
Speaker 2: That's what it is. If I see them, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: kill them. Yeah, yeah, yeah and so.
Speaker 5: But but it is the most beautiful thing to have kids,
Speaker 5: especially girls.
Speaker 2: And by the way, everybody I know is having girls.
Speaker 5: There's not one person if it's almost like if you
Speaker 5: have a boy, I'm like, yeah, but it's not a
Speaker 5: it's a girl, you know what I mean. It's like,
Speaker 5: that's it. It just has a big clips your choice.
Speaker 5: Is that what you're saying, Well that yes, well yeah
Speaker 5: that yeah, let's start having gender reveals on the eighteenth
Speaker 5: birthday hundred per But I just think there's actually something
Speaker 5: in the water or like maybe it's the vaccines. I
Speaker 5: don't know what's going on nation of the two. Something
Speaker 5: is causing for sure, more females than males. I think
Speaker 5: it's like a fact. I think it really except in China.
Speaker 5: China is the only place that is having more boys.
Speaker 9: Yeah, that's a tough deal. It seems like China's having
Speaker 9: a hard time right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Russia's having a hard time too. Russia's yeah, Russias,
Speaker 2: how you're having the hardest time.
Speaker 5: Could you imagine how stupid you must feel if you're
Speaker 5: a Russia. Like, for the longest time, we all were like, dude,
Speaker 5: Russia will kill us, Like you do not want to
Speaker 5: fight Russia and now are like, dude, I'll fight Russia
Speaker 5: by myself. I feel like I can beat them by myself.
Speaker 5: I feel like Russian Americans, Russians.
Speaker 9: Russians, Americans have been afraid of Russia since the eighties
Speaker 9: or whatever the Cold War was, and then Rocky until
Speaker 9: Rocky four came. When four came out, were like, we
Speaker 9: can handle the Russians.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we can beat these motherfuckers up, no question, dude. Yeah,
Speaker 2: is a fucking yeah.
Speaker 9: But it is a weird deal because three months ago
Speaker 9: we're sitting there going, hey, Russia, China, they think they're
Speaker 9: getting together, Saudia.
Speaker 2: Rapis jumping in the pool for some reason. Yeah. Then
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, the cou rips.
Speaker 5: Off and all like I think we're like American prie
Speaker 5: to nationalism's coming back. Where it's like when because you
Speaker 5: used to feel like, not necessarily me, but you would
Speaker 5: feel I'm just always been a pride for American even
Speaker 5: like when my comedy friends were always like.
Speaker 2: The police suck.
Speaker 5: I'm like, I'll shoot you, get off my property. So
Speaker 5: you know, it's just like just I was always the
Speaker 5: guy that was like, you're just stop being a stop
Speaker 5: fucking listening to everything the news says, please and just
Speaker 5: be a regular human being and understand that police cops fire.
Speaker 2: Them in the army. Everyone's just doing the best they can.
Speaker 5: Besides a couple of bad eggs that we fucking have
Speaker 5: even in our business. It's just always that's what it is.
Speaker 2: At every household too.
Speaker 5: Everybody. It's like, just shut up with the media, fear, porn,
Speaker 5: cherry picking, bullshit. But I think more people are starting
Speaker 5: to see it now, right. But I always was like
Speaker 5: American pride whenever. But then I noticed, like for a while,
Speaker 5: they are no American flags. You never saw American flags
Speaker 5: that much.
Speaker 2: You saw it.
Speaker 5: And I grew up, you know, nine to eleven, I
Speaker 5: was a senior in high school in New York. You
Speaker 5: better have an American flag up and down the streets
Speaker 5: or we're like, what are.
Speaker 2: You with them? What are you terrorists? And now?
Speaker 5: And then it flipped for a while, whereas like if
Speaker 5: you had an American flag, people like, what are you terrorist?
Speaker 5: What are you white white supremacists? And it's like, no,
Speaker 5: I just I live in America. Because there was for
Speaker 5: a while. I gotta be honest, Like when I was
Speaker 5: walking down New York city in the West Village. This
Speaker 5: was like a month or two ago I saw, and
Speaker 5: it's not there as much anymore. I saw. I walked
Speaker 5: down the block and all I saw was Ukrainian flags
Speaker 5: and rainbow flags. And I was, like, am I in
Speaker 5: the gay part of Kiev? I mean, I thought I
Speaker 5: was in the United States. What's happening? And I like
Speaker 5: the Ukrainians. I like gay people. I mean, I'm not
Speaker 5: saying I'm not gay, you know what I mean. I
Speaker 5: don't think I am. Everyone's on the spectrum exactly. It's
Speaker 5: like I support it because like that's what the rainbow is,
Speaker 5: like a spectrum of colors. I'm a human being, Like
Speaker 5: you know, I might go the first fifty straight to
Speaker 5: the last fifty gay.
Speaker 2: That's possible.
Speaker 5: I love, you know, But I do feel like now,
Speaker 5: like I'm talking about very recent, like over the last
Speaker 5: six to eight weeks. I don't know what it is.
Speaker 5: Maybe it's the bud like controversy, maybe it's but American pride.
Speaker 5: I feel for the first I see, like the first.
Speaker 9: Glimmer of it again in a while, and you can't
Speaker 9: put your finger on it.
Speaker 5: I can't put my finger like this fourth of July
Speaker 5: was just it was just good, like yeah, like I
Speaker 5: works for a brighter. Yeah, dude, we lit.
Speaker 2: I lit.
Speaker 5: I have neighbors who had a British guy come over.
Speaker 5: I lit him on fire right in my yard and
Speaker 5: everybody it was fucking great, dude, and nobody cared, which
Speaker 5: is like at other times they would have been like,
Speaker 5: you can't do that. Respect its right, so but I'd
Speaker 5: fucking let him on fire, and I suck it. Nigel,
Speaker 5: yea motherfucker. Yeah, piece of shit.
Speaker 2: It is wild.
Speaker 9: I was in Florida during forth of July and it
Speaker 9: seemed like, I don't know, Florida is its own unique place.
Speaker 9: I don't think they have a loss of patriotism there,
Speaker 9: but I did feel a certain sense of like, hey,
Speaker 9: because I'm not big and jumping into politics, but I
Speaker 9: am big on wherever you're from. Have probably where you're
Speaker 9: from regardless. I just grab a little something from where
Speaker 9: you're from, take it with you wherever you go. And
Speaker 9: I feel like with America, it's like, yeah, yeah, we've
Speaker 9: dated people, you've dated people you loved and you got
Speaker 9: your heart broken. But there's things even when you're in love,
Speaker 9: you're like, this bug's the shit out of me about
Speaker 9: this person. Same thing with America, if you can be
Speaker 9: from America, not like all of the things about America. Sure,
Speaker 9: like all the things about America, but I'm fucking happy
Speaker 9: to be America.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: It's like the ones who like just shit on the
Speaker 5: country all day, every day. It's like it's a broken
Speaker 5: record and just shut up. There's what do you Where
Speaker 5: are you gonna go live? Where do you want to
Speaker 5: go live? Where do you want to do you want
Speaker 5: to live?
Speaker 2: In Canada? Everything's on fire? Do you want to live?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 5: Like it's like it's like I've heard I've heard some
Speaker 5: of my you know, in comedy, a lot of a
Speaker 5: lot of gay, gay people, you know, a lot of
Speaker 5: gay people talking. I heard somebody say, this is the
Speaker 5: worst time to be gay in the world is right
Speaker 5: now in this country. I was like, do you know
Speaker 5: if you went to the Middle East state, throw you
Speaker 5: off a roof. They would throw you off a roof
Speaker 5: and people would be clapping and celebrating.
Speaker 2: It's like, what are you talking about? What?
Speaker 5: People are just so indoctrinated and sucked into the media.
Speaker 5: But I think I think that it really is like
Speaker 5: a lot of people, don't they don't really. Uh, they're
Speaker 5: not as fooled anymore. Even somebody like my mom, who
Speaker 5: was like, just what anything the news caster says, she
Speaker 5: takes the truth. She's starting to question now, which I
Speaker 5: think is good, right, I mean I think it's uh,
Speaker 5: I think that's better. I mean, none of this is comedy.
Speaker 5: But I'm changing my I'm changing my profession as I am.
Speaker 5: I'm running along with r Yeah, and I'm gonna be Yeah,
Speaker 5: I'm shooting. Uh, We're gonna be sucking the vaccines out
Speaker 5: of people and just repin.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna have a magnet and start sucking vacuus.
Speaker 9: Got a lot of stuff going on, very political right now. Yeah,
Speaker 9: ditching comedy. Jeffrey Dahmer's glasses on.
Speaker 5: By the way, this is the first five minutes of
Speaker 5: the podcast. You'll see by the maybe the next twenty minutes.
Speaker 5: I'll be the op everything I just said. I'll be
Speaker 5: the opposite. I'll play different characters for an hour. I'll
Speaker 5: just say I will absolutely, I'll start kneeling. Put the
Speaker 5: national anthem on, I'll kneel. I just you can't. That's
Speaker 5: my whole thing is you can track me down. You
Speaker 5: can't I'm funking Chrissy gray Zones.
Speaker 2: Chrissy Gray Zones.
Speaker 9: Yeah, is also a very educated individual, like you love
Speaker 9: yourself some history from what I've been finding.
Speaker 5: Yes, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love history. I
Speaker 5: love I love trying now to sell I'll take like
Speaker 5: a different era. Like somebody, somebody came up to me
Speaker 5: the other day and they were like, oh, I mean
Speaker 5: listening to your podcast, you're talking so much about finance.
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, that was three weeks ago.
Speaker 5: I've moved on to ten other subjects that I've been
Speaker 5: obsessed with, ten other subjects. And then I'm the guy
Speaker 5: I read half of a book and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 5: an expert, let me tell you about it. Yeah, And
Speaker 5: then all the people are like, you fucking idiot. All
Speaker 5: you're doing is making mistakes. But I think it's that
Speaker 5: my grandfather gave me like good advice, right, you know,
Speaker 5: he right before he killed himself in front of our family.
Speaker 5: But he he he, he said, but he did give
Speaker 5: you great advice. And he said, uh, he said, if
Speaker 5: you're the smartest person in the room, it's time for
Speaker 5: you to find a new room. You always you always
Speaker 5: want to be dumb. Around the people you're hanging out with.
Speaker 5: You never want to be the because then you're not
Speaker 5: learning anything. So I always try to, uh be the
Speaker 5: dumbest person in the room. But now I'm in bye
Speaker 5: bye being the smartest. By right, read half the book,
Speaker 5: I'm the smartest. Let it fly, dude, you're fucking way
Speaker 5: of okay.
Speaker 2: What you're saying.
Speaker 5: Hundred percent? Yeah, one hundred percent. Yeah, I'm in and out.
Speaker 5: I'm always fucking listening, baby, I'm always listening to this.
Speaker 5: This guy says, yes, I heard your southern accent.
Speaker 1: Yeah, South Carolina boy. Game cock.
Speaker 2: I love it, baby, love the cock. There we go. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that was a nice that's you. You do dance around?
Speaker 9: You said that you might go fifty straight fifty gay. Yes,
Speaker 9: that's a nice little I feel like a nice Daniel
Speaker 9: Toshball he I feel like he was one of the
Speaker 9: first comedians.
Speaker 2: Kind of is he is he not? What's he going through?
Speaker 2: I was enjoyed watching him to the line. Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: always fun toe the line. Absolutely.
Speaker 5: Whatever happened to Tash he's I think he just did
Speaker 5: so well, made so much money that he's I think
Speaker 5: he's just like maybe writing new stuff. I think he's
Speaker 5: taken a break from everything.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 5: He's not on I never see him anywhere, but he
Speaker 5: might live in l A. I think he's from Germany, right,
Speaker 5: he might like live in Germany. He might be dude,
Speaker 5: the Germans were coming back.
Speaker 2: But I feel like he doesn't do anything, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean.
Speaker 5: I think he I think he's I think he's truly
Speaker 5: made like one hundred million.
Speaker 2: Dollars like he's he's he he.
Speaker 5: Is not even quietly like he He has done so
Speaker 5: well in this in the comedy business that I don't
Speaker 5: know that he has to. I mean, I don't know
Speaker 5: his finances at all. He could be horrific with his money.
Speaker 5: I have no idea, but but he seems like he's
Speaker 5: made so much money that think it gets to a
Speaker 5: point where you're like, all right, man, I got to
Speaker 5: take like a couple of.
Speaker 2: Years mental break or something.
Speaker 5: You also need to find the matilia to live new experiences,
Speaker 5: because the thing I think with comedy is is if
Speaker 5: you get too big, Like music is different, go get
Speaker 5: as big as you want. But with stand ups, if
Speaker 5: you get too big and you lose sense, you lose
Speaker 5: touch with the common man. Your comedy. You can't do
Speaker 5: like a crushing hour about your yacht. You can't do
Speaker 5: it like the people in the front rung. But what
Speaker 5: the fuck you're talking like? You're supposed to be the
Speaker 5: common man like us. You're supposed to be mad at
Speaker 5: shit and kind of have an opinion about stuff. So
Speaker 5: I think maybe maybe he's doing that, like just kind
Speaker 5: of taking a step back to just ground him. I mean,
Speaker 5: not that he might be. I think he might be. Again,
Speaker 5: he's not. He lives in La, I think so I'm
Speaker 5: always in New York. I'm one of those like New
Speaker 5: York guys like I don't you could be like, hey, dude,
Speaker 5: if you just moved to LA or Austin, you would
Speaker 5: you'd you'd make ten million.
Speaker 2: Dollars more a year.
Speaker 5: I'd be like, I'm never I'd literally I'd rather drive
Speaker 5: a bus in New York. I don't want to leave
Speaker 5: New York at all because I think I'm just I
Speaker 5: don't have anything against La or Austin. I'm happy they're
Speaker 5: beautiful American cities and not taken over by isis. But
Speaker 5: I think that I'm just a very New York guy.
Speaker 5: I like to be around like my family, my friends
Speaker 5: from home. I like New York is always like there's
Speaker 5: like new things happening always, and every time I leave
Speaker 5: New York, I don't I don't feel comfortable.
Speaker 2: I'm always like I'd rather just I like quick hits.
Speaker 5: I like to go somewhere for two three days and
Speaker 5: then go and then leave and come back to New York.
Speaker 5: I'm comfortable here, I'm comfort want fee here. I'm a
Speaker 5: little uncomfortable outside of it. But yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 5: And I also kind of don't feel like my whole
Speaker 5: like the being a comedian is like the fourth thing
Speaker 5: about me, you know. It's like my comedy career is
Speaker 5: like I'm not one of those guys that are like
Speaker 5: and I get my peers that do. They're like, I'll
Speaker 5: do every dig for comedy. I want to be the
Speaker 5: greatest of all. I'm like, dude, knock yourself out. That's
Speaker 5: the last thing I'd want to be. Really, I'm any
Speaker 5: kidd of me. And you know how much pressure that is. Also,
Speaker 5: nobody fucking cares. Do you think Alexander the imagine Alexander
Speaker 5: the Great came any here right now, you'd be like,
Speaker 5: look at this asshole in a toga Look at this
Speaker 5: dumb fuck.
Speaker 2: Nobody knows who this retard is, and.
Speaker 5: He was Alexander the Great because no, truly nobody cares,
Speaker 5: nothing really matters. And that's not pessimistic. That's up coming
Speaker 5: from a I'm a happy person where I'm like, just
Speaker 5: take a break, like relax, like who I have to
Speaker 5: what is the greatest of all time? And at least
Speaker 5: in comedy, mean you know what that means. In my opinion,
Speaker 5: I'm never gonna see my kids. I'm never gonna see them.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna all I'm gonna do is look at them
Speaker 5: through memories. I'm like, I don't want to do that.
Speaker 5: I'd rather be just the piece of shit comic that
Speaker 5: I am. That's doing okay, But I'm like at my
Speaker 5: kid's stuff, you know what I mean, And then when
Speaker 5: they find out their father's game, they don't want to
Speaker 5: talk to me.
Speaker 9: I'll go in a world to that. What he said,
Speaker 9: it's the force the fourth thing about you? What are
Speaker 9: the the three what are what are the three things
Speaker 9: that are just the most interesting to you outside of well.
Speaker 5: First and foremost, I'm a white man, don't forget that
Speaker 5: very important to you straight white male.
Speaker 2: Well, no, I love America, Love America.
Speaker 5: I think you know number one definitely, uh father, you know,
Speaker 5: like that's that's the main thing about me that I
Speaker 5: care about the most.
Speaker 2: Like I just I don't really care like.
Speaker 5: What people think of my comedy or what people you know,
Speaker 5: what some executive thinks of my part I don't care
Speaker 5: at all.
Speaker 2: I just care about, like what my kids think of me.
Speaker 5: And then I think to being a partner to my
Speaker 5: girlfriend is huge because we have the kids. So I
Speaker 5: think like that is is very very important to me.
Speaker 5: And then third son, my you know, my I'm very
Speaker 5: close to my parents, so like got to be like
Speaker 5: a good son even though I you know, go on
Speaker 5: stage talking about you know, come leaking out of my asshole,
Speaker 5: it's you know, and and but yeah. Then then the
Speaker 5: fourth thing is is listen, I love doing comedy. It
Speaker 5: gives me an outlet. It's it's great, you know, it's
Speaker 5: like cathartic for me to like, you know, I feel
Speaker 5: bad for people that don't have an outlet. Like you'll
Speaker 5: see something on the news that really angers you or
Speaker 5: social media that like angers you, and like you have
Speaker 5: nowhere to like you can't get it out where I
Speaker 5: can get it out with comedy and say how I
Speaker 5: feel and joke format and it makes me feel better.
Speaker 2: But I think, you know, doing this for the money.
Speaker 5: Comedy for the money is like, that's when I think
Speaker 5: we all start to and I, by the way, I
Speaker 5: went through a phase last year where I was like,
Speaker 5: I'm definitely doing shows and meet and greets and stuff
Speaker 5: for the money, and I couldn't figure out why. I
Speaker 5: absolutely hated myself even though I was selling tickets making
Speaker 5: more money than I ever made. I was like, but you,
Speaker 5: like I would look in the mirror and be like,
Speaker 5: you fucking suck. And I couldn't figure it out. And
Speaker 5: it was like, oh, because you were starting to do
Speaker 5: things for the money, not for the creativity. So now
Speaker 5: it's changed. Even though I know I'm wearing these glasses
Speaker 5: and you're like, what are you talking about? Like you
Speaker 5: look like an asshole right now.
Speaker 2: I actually like the glasses. Quh. I appreciate it. It.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it makes me I do it. They're very Jeffrey dahmeresque,
Speaker 5: and I just, yeah, I want to it's good. I
Speaker 5: want to eat black men.
Speaker 2: Inspission for you. Jeffrey Dahmer.
Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, no, I actually saw what happened was as
Speaker 5: I did. Here's the thing with me. Okay, here's what
Speaker 5: you have to know about me.
Speaker 2: Boys, we interrupt this episode. Duke Cannon.
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Speaker 5: And anyway and and my career whenever whatever you know,
Speaker 5: like Midas, you know, like anything he touches is gold.
Speaker 5: Anything I touch. Just know that if you put me
Speaker 5: on your network and I feel bad for you guys
Speaker 5: with this podcast when I when you get me on,
Speaker 5: things start to go bad for you. I don't know
Speaker 5: why this happens, but it just starts to include So.
Speaker 5: So I I came up. I did uh in hours?
Speaker 5: Uh you know it was forty five minutes that we
Speaker 5: put out for Netflix. Okay, put out for Netflix. Great,
Speaker 5: Loving It show comes out immediately within twenty four hours
Speaker 5: of my show coming out, Netflix announces they've had the
Speaker 5: worst quarter in the history of their business and the
Speaker 5: stocks have fallen so much that like they may have
Speaker 5: to shut down their business. Great, then I do a
Speaker 5: show for Vice called Super Maximum Retro Show. Okay, came out,
Speaker 5: the show comes out, It's actually doing pretty good. I'm like,
Speaker 5: the curse is over. Vice has now completely shut down
Speaker 5: as a network. It does not exist anymore. This happened
Speaker 5: in like a month ago, Vice completely My show came out,
Speaker 5: and then Vice crumbled, absolutely crumbled to the bucket, to
Speaker 5: the ground. You know, I had a pilot. I had
Speaker 5: a pilot show for CBS in twenty sixteen. I thought
Speaker 5: it was going to make me like the next Ray Romano,
Speaker 5: like that's what I was being touted as and everybody
Speaker 5: I'm talking about being from Queen's and my new version
Speaker 5: of it whatever. Literally the day that the people who
Speaker 5: pick the the shows that like, the actual people who
Speaker 5: are in the room who pick the five pilots that
Speaker 5: are going to go to series that America is going
Speaker 5: to see on the day like May fourteenth, twenty sixteen,
Speaker 5: I'm talking about, not the day before, the actual day
Speaker 5: they're supposed to pick. At eleven am, the day the
Speaker 5: guy our champion is gonna pick dies of a heart
Speaker 5: attack right away, like dot dead, heart attack, see you later. Done.
Speaker 5: Show never gets picked up. So I think, so the
Speaker 5: thing is with me is I've just accepted that that
Speaker 5: there might be a level here that I'm never gonna
Speaker 5: get past. But right now, if you allowed me to
Speaker 5: like push a button and say you will never get
Speaker 5: another dollar, you will never get your life won't change.
Speaker 5: You'll never get a dollar less, you'll never get a
Speaker 5: dollar more, you'll never travel less, you'll never travel more.
Speaker 5: Your life will be this for the next thirty years.
Speaker 5: I would push the but I would push it immediately.
Speaker 5: So that tells me, well, then you must be happy
Speaker 5: then with your situation, because I mean, it wouldn't even
Speaker 5: be a thought, it'd be like done in yes. Because
Speaker 5: it's also like to the point, like when you get
Speaker 5: so famous, it's like, what's different about that? It's just
Speaker 5: more fucking people, you know, wanting to bring you down.
Speaker 5: Every ladder you go up in this business, it's ten
Speaker 5: more people are trying to pull you back down. It's like,
Speaker 5: after a while, you're like, what what is the point?
Speaker 5: What is the point of this? I just want to
Speaker 5: make enough money to invest it properly. I want to
Speaker 5: try to convince enough people to invest their money with
Speaker 5: me so I can swindle it. And then I just
Speaker 5: I just want to like be a good dad and
Speaker 5: be there as much as I can, and try for
Speaker 5: dear life to just white knuckle hold onto the current relationship.
Speaker 2: I mean, even though that's the falling apart.
Speaker 9: When you're when you're sitting there, when you're sitting there
Speaker 9: a year ago, and you're doing meet and greets and
Speaker 9: all this stuff for cash and all that, and you're like,
Speaker 9: you hate yourself.
Speaker 2: You can look in the mirror and be like, Okay,
Speaker 2: this is why this is happening.
Speaker 9: What changes did you make from Okay, sitting here today,
Speaker 9: all this energy in the world, but.
Speaker 2: A happy person. Yeah, yeah, he was.
Speaker 5: He wanted to do something and and and so so
Speaker 5: what happened was is I couldn't articulate why I felt
Speaker 5: gross about the meet and greet because I knew that
Speaker 5: the people who paid were actually happy. They were like,
Speaker 5: I don't mind paying this money, you know, even but
Speaker 5: I couldn't articulate why why do I feel so bad
Speaker 5: about it? And I think it was two reasons. One,
Speaker 5: I felt that I would do this for free for them.
Speaker 5: I genuinely like so appreciative with the people that come
Speaker 5: to the show. It's like I will stand out there
Speaker 5: and do it for free. I honestly like, you don't
Speaker 5: have to pay. And then I heard my favorite band
Speaker 5: is the nineteen seventy five and the lead singer, Matty Heally,
Speaker 5: I heard him say on social media about meet and greets.
Speaker 5: He was like, if you're an artist doing meet and greets,
Speaker 5: he goes, here's what I want you to do. He goes,
Speaker 5: rather than going through ticket master or your agent to
Speaker 5: get the ticket, you know, money from the fans, take
Speaker 5: the picture with them, talk to them for thirty seconds,
Speaker 5: and then ask them to give you forty dollars in
Speaker 5: cash and see how you feel. And I was like,
Speaker 5: I E the os Meal. I was like, that's what
Speaker 5: I'm doing. And again, it's not a just it's not
Speaker 5: a thing. If people are doing it and the fans
Speaker 5: who want to do it great, just me as a person,
Speaker 5: I was like, I can't do this. I'm I feel
Speaker 5: like I'm giving you the what you're paying for is
Speaker 5: the show, my jokes that I've written, like my performance,
Speaker 5: but half that I don't want to take any more
Speaker 5: of your money, even buying the merchandise. It's like sometimes
Speaker 5: I feel but it's like I don't you almost like
Speaker 5: you know, it's like how much money.
Speaker 2: Do you fucking need? Man?
Speaker 5: Like you know, like you're you get to a point
Speaker 5: where you're like, I'm on this hamster wheel where it's like,
Speaker 5: I mean again, going on a world tour is great,
Speaker 5: it really is, but it's like, you know, it's just
Speaker 5: for me time away from my family because time and
Speaker 5: money are the same value. Actually, time is more valuable
Speaker 5: to me now where I'm like, if you told me, hey,
Speaker 5: i can get this amount of money, but it's gonna
Speaker 5: cost six months away from my family, I'm like, I'm
Speaker 5: there's no way I'll just make less money.
Speaker 2: I'll live, I swear to.
Speaker 5: God, I'll go back to being being a physical therapist.
Speaker 5: I just don't. The entertainment business, I think has just
Speaker 5: there's like a nastiness to it that I'm like, I'm
Speaker 5: happy I'm in it. I love doing what I do,
Speaker 5: but there's a limit to like what I'll do. And
Speaker 5: I'm not saying that limit isn't sucking cock to get
Speaker 5: on TV, right, I will blow up.
Speaker 2: That's always that's always out there.
Speaker 5: To be honest with you, That's why I wear these
Speaker 5: glasses in case you guys wanted to poo cocky or
Speaker 5: something like that i'd be like, I'm protect did at
Speaker 5: least I won't get pink guy, because my kid is
Speaker 5: a big uh summer presentation.
Speaker 2: I have to be at before hold before you ask
Speaker 2: that question. In the nineteen seventy.
Speaker 9: Five Yees song Girls, I Love Girls, that YouTube, Yeah,
Speaker 9: that YouTube music video is the music video.
Speaker 2: I don't think i've seen the music video.
Speaker 9: It's black and white, and the lead singers like, hey,
Speaker 9: we're a punk band. We don't do pop stuff. They
Speaker 9: should be in black and white, and it's automatically in color,
Speaker 9: and there's basically a parody on like they're trying to
Speaker 9: be a punk band, but they're playing a whole bunch
Speaker 9: of different stuff.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, I have seen that video. Go in it.
Speaker 9: And the lead singer, it's a model, she's like six
Speaker 9: to one. As soon as that music video came out,
Speaker 9: I was like, I have a massive crush on her.
Speaker 2: That's the pivot. Go ahead, and we'll ask your question.
Speaker 2: If you're good, dude, if you're gonna do it, do
Speaker 2: it the right way, give me.
Speaker 5: The right ways, the fucking lips, dude, exact fucking guy,
Speaker 5: give you dude, you're done already.
Speaker 2: He's done already, we bodybaged you guys on accident. I'm
Speaker 2: so sorry. Thanks. I love you fight if I closer, Yeah,
Speaker 2: you need champstick. It's a little champion. I I could
Speaker 2: deal with it.
Speaker 9: We had cigar on right before you came and we went,
Speaker 9: like what today he just walked in and out?
Speaker 5: Man, Tommy, Yeah he's still here.
Speaker 2: He might be still here, but like, yeah.
Speaker 5: So Sigura is the perfect example of a guy to
Speaker 5: model a career after in my opinion, Tom. I know
Speaker 5: he just went on the tour and all that, but
Speaker 5: he did it that. He brought his family to a
Speaker 5: lot of it.
Speaker 2: Tom is a guy.
Speaker 5: He's doing everything exactly what he wants to do. He's
Speaker 5: making incredible money, he's there for his family, he's there
Speaker 5: first fans, He's doing everything his way.
Speaker 2: That's the guy that I look up to and model.
Speaker 2: What about the guy you cried with on on the podcast?
Speaker 2: Bert Bert? Oh?
Speaker 5: Bert's another one Bert's. But I've actually heard Bert recently
Speaker 5: say that he feels he's doing too much now. So
Speaker 5: he's actually which is understandable. He's like, I think I'm
Speaker 5: doing I think I'm doing too much. So he's got
Speaker 5: good intuition. He's like, let me scale it back, you know.
Speaker 2: But Bert, by the way, what a clip, Like, what
Speaker 2: a moment? Oh yeah, that's just your acting, dude.
Speaker 5: Which we spoke about that.
Speaker 9: Yeah, we uh sixteen pilot coming out and you dude,
Speaker 9: oh yeah, getting ready to roll.
Speaker 2: Dude.
Speaker 5: I put that. I put that twenty sixteen CBS. That's
Speaker 5: the thing too with people like you know, I think
Speaker 5: if you just at times, I mean, I'm scared of
Speaker 5: a lot of shit, but but I think at times,
Speaker 5: if you're just like fucking I'll ask for you know,
Speaker 5: I'll ask for perm I'll ask for forgiveness later. You know,
Speaker 5: I'd rather what do I say, I'd rather ask for
Speaker 5: forgiveness than permission. They tell you to like you're like
Speaker 5: a million times your a lawyer will tell you if
Speaker 5: your pilot doesn't get picked up, you cannot ever post
Speaker 5: this anywhere. You know, you cannot ever post your special
Speaker 5: anywhere other than on the platform. Blah blah blah. I
Speaker 5: was just like during the pandemic, I was like, I'm
Speaker 5: just gonna post my entire CBS pilot on my YouTube.
Speaker 5: I'm just gonna do it. I don't fuck what then
Speaker 5: sue me. I was like, if you assue me, I'll
Speaker 5: just talk about that on my podcast and make that
Speaker 5: a clip. I'll just fucking monetize everything. I'm a beast
Speaker 5: and so and so That's what I think our careers
Speaker 5: now have become with this podcasting is like whatever you
Speaker 5: do to me, whether you cancel me or say this,
Speaker 5: I'll just make it content. I'll just so it's like
Speaker 5: this thing that it's like it's kind of like it's
Speaker 5: always like, look at Shane, look at Shane Gillis, Like
Speaker 5: he's got one of the biggest careers now ever, and
Speaker 5: it's like it all started with people trying to take
Speaker 5: everything away from it. It's like you're like pulling back a
Speaker 5: rubber band to shoot it even higher. Yeah, but I
Speaker 5: think people are getting that now. Don't you feel like
Speaker 5: people are understanding that now?
Speaker 2: I feel like in a lot of ways, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 9: But it also is like you guys being like comedy
Speaker 9: is the one thing that's like truly still everything's on limits.
Speaker 9: And I know people like the you know, the letters
Speaker 9: and stuff like that. Everything is like you're allowed to
Speaker 9: go at everybody still, even though like I know a
Speaker 9: lot of people the LGBT community, lg whatever, the letters.
Speaker 9: They get really they get upset about stuff that community comedies,
Speaker 9: Like they try to cancel Chappelle when he came out
Speaker 9: with a special and the whole thing was about that.
Speaker 9: But it's like comedy is like the one beautiful spot
Speaker 9: that no matter what you do, it's going to pivot
Speaker 9: back into comedy and they're gonna be able to use
Speaker 9: whatever you say to get back right into that area.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like I think a lot of the power
Speaker 1: is going back through like the content creator, like the
Speaker 1: creator right, because people or figuring out that they can
Speaker 1: be authentic and there's still ways to pivot a long
Speaker 1: way being authentic because you're not like just on a
Speaker 1: TV show in the minute you get fired or canceled
Speaker 1: or whatever the case may be. There are other ways
Speaker 1: to you know, still recreate yourself. We're still create yourself.
Speaker 2: Well that's why the stream is going, Yeah, it is
Speaker 2: going out the window right the wind. Yeah. Well, I
Speaker 2: think too, it's important too.
Speaker 5: That's why it's important to have a family, whether it's
Speaker 5: kids or a husband, wife, partner, whatever. I think it's
Speaker 5: important to be able to get outside your career and
Speaker 5: whatever it is, whether it's in entertainment or not because
Speaker 5: you start to just realize like the petty bullsh like
Speaker 5: especially like with social media. It's like I haven't been
Speaker 5: on social media and I think it's going on ten
Speaker 5: months now, and it's like radically change my life. Like
Speaker 5: I still need someone to run it, to sell tickets
Speaker 5: and be out there. It's just part of how we
Speaker 5: promote ourselves. But I don't see the comments at all
Speaker 5: because I made a decision. I said, I'm not gonna
Speaker 5: let a complete stranger influence me positively or negatively anymore.
Speaker 5: I'm not going to take them saying that they think
Speaker 5: my comedy is great, it's not going to get to me,
Speaker 5: or that they think I suck. It's not going Only
Speaker 5: if I'm in the physical space with you or you're
Speaker 5: at my shows, does your do then I value your
Speaker 5: opinion if I don't know you at all, Because I
Speaker 5: was like, man, I'm letting somebody who lives in London,
Speaker 5: you know, control my day. It's like our brains are
Speaker 5: not designed for that. So I was like, I'm getting
Speaker 5: off it. And it's interesting. My Instagram when this happened
Speaker 5: ten months ago, wasn't I just could not sign in
Speaker 5: right password even when I got the recent it was
Speaker 5: some kind of bug was in it. So we got
Speaker 5: in touch with like a pretty high up person at
Speaker 5: Instagram to help me out. And then I was speaking
Speaker 5: to him and I was telling him what my plan
Speaker 5: was to get somebody else to run it. So I
Speaker 5: had that person on the phone just give this guy
Speaker 5: the password whatever. And he said to me, he goes,
Speaker 5: this is really smart what you're doing. You're really really
Speaker 5: smart that you're getting off this, And I was like,
Speaker 5: really why. He was like, because he's like, we're doing
Speaker 5: internal research right now that company Meta. He's like, we're
Speaker 5: doing internal research right now, and we're seeing that if
Speaker 5: you have more than twenty five thousand followers, that seems
Speaker 5: to be the cutoff.
Speaker 2: These people, the people.
Speaker 5: That that the people with more than twenty five thousand followers,
Speaker 5: it has major impacts on their social identity, major impacts
Speaker 5: on their personalities. It is not good at all for
Speaker 5: human brains to be dealing with this many people commenting
Speaker 5: on every aspect of their life. Where like seeing it
Speaker 5: and it's like it's going to probably be things that
Speaker 5: radically change in the next few years. So it's good
Speaker 5: that you're getting out of this now. He was like
Speaker 5: because you're it's it's not good and we're and we're
Speaker 5: seeing that in house. I was like, wow, and I
Speaker 5: tell you what I feel it like. I used to
Speaker 5: get angry like at even like if I would come
Speaker 5: into a podcast and you know, somebody I felt like
Speaker 5: was like disrespecting me or making fun of me, I
Speaker 5: would internalize it. And now I'm like, oh, dude, I don't.
Speaker 5: I don't, I don't care. I've I've gotten so much
Speaker 5: less angry because I'm just like, man, people are going
Speaker 5: to say what they're gonna say.
Speaker 2: I don't really hear.
Speaker 5: It that much. I only hear it from my family
Speaker 5: and close friends, good reviews and bad reviews. So if
Speaker 5: you give me even a bad review, it's just like
Speaker 5: it doesn't make that. I don't hear that all day.
Speaker 5: But when you're hearing bad reviews or good reviews all day,
Speaker 5: you're like in this manicked state twenty four to seven,
Speaker 5: then I'm not. I'm just not in anymore. And I
Speaker 5: think it's good to not have everybody has access to here.
Speaker 5: That's like not good. It's just not good at all.
Speaker 5: Because you're like I keep my circle small tight.
Speaker 1: I think that's perfect that's why I downloaded twiler yesterday. Yeah,
Speaker 1: downloaded threads from Instagram.
Speaker 2: What's threads? Threads is now the Twitter of Instagram.
Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, you.
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Speaker 2: Do you have cauliflower area? You're like an inn between er. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I got a little, I get a little twetter calflowers.
Speaker 5: But it's not so pronounced yet, so it's almost like
Speaker 5: why is why don't you have if you're gonna go califlyeril,
Speaker 5: just go fall?
Speaker 1: Well, Fortunately, like the calflower ear happened like when I
Speaker 1: was really young.
Speaker 2: So what happened wrestling? Ah? You know what I mean,
Speaker 2: like rolling around on the mats and professionally, not like
Speaker 2: with your dad or anything as a kid.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I guess so, like get out then the
Speaker 1: singlets in the circle shake hands, red and green.
Speaker 2: You wrestle a.
Speaker 5: Little bit like you look like it like an almost
Speaker 5: Channing Tatum type thing, right, I will very close.
Speaker 2: That's a nice little yes.
Speaker 5: You look like I like it.
Speaker 2: Man, I appreciate that. But it's good.
Speaker 5: But yeah, but dude, because you have a you have
Speaker 5: a you have a like an ear that I wouldn't
Speaker 5: fuck with. You know, I would look at your ear
Speaker 5: and say this, even though it's almost cauliflower ear, you
Speaker 5: don't want to fuck with this guy? Like that's enough
Speaker 5: of a resume, that's enough to say, don't I don't
Speaker 5: want to go there. I don't want to go there.
Speaker 2: It's good to know have that kind of respect. You
Speaker 2: should have had your ear coming out of your helmet
Speaker 2: when you were playing a nice little deal. I Will.
Speaker 9: He comes from Missouri, and Missouri what they do is
Speaker 9: they wrestle. Yeah, and I've wrestled Will. I at one
Speaker 9: point outweighed Will by over one hundred pounds. And I
Speaker 9: wrestled Will on three separate occasions, and all three times
Speaker 9: he body bagged the fuck out of me.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, and you could tell, Yeah, you could tell
Speaker 5: he's got he's he's a nice guy. But you could
Speaker 5: tell there's a darkness, there's something missing. Yeah, you could
Speaker 5: tell one hundred percent there's I don't know what it is.
Speaker 9: I don't know if more than twenty five thousand followers,
Speaker 9: there's no question it's one of those you're saying that
Speaker 9: I'm on the wrong I'm going down the wrong.
Speaker 5: Path, Like I kind of almost think, like, what's gonna unfortunately,
Speaker 5: probably happen to both of these. You're going to see
Speaker 5: the real him in the last five seconds of your life.
Speaker 5: Oh no, it's a little gonna be what we call
Speaker 5: a murder. Siuie will we right here on the pod. Yeah,
Speaker 5: and it's and unfortunately you're gonna have to deal with it.
Speaker 5: But it'll be great for the numbers. Yeah, I just
Speaker 5: don't have to.
Speaker 9: But the numbers won't matter because I'll be dead. Yeah,
Speaker 9: but no, But how do you monetize when you die?
Speaker 2: I'll put your numbers on your grapes though. There it is.
Speaker 2: That's all I need to hear.
Speaker 5: Give it to the family, and you give it. You
Speaker 5: just give the money back to Dave Portnoy. Okay, that's
Speaker 5: what it is. He deserves it. He's put a lot
Speaker 5: of work in. Yeah, put a fucking lot of work in, dude.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: What I was gonna ask earlier is how do you
Speaker 1: plan ahead now to account for like that balance you
Speaker 1: want to you want to have in your life.
Speaker 5: So what I do now actually is I've taken my
Speaker 5: uh uh kind of a not enough seven. But I've
Speaker 5: really tried to self educate myself on finance. I've really
Speaker 5: tried to say Tiki Barber, NFL guy, I got to
Speaker 5: do a show with him a few years ago called
Speaker 5: The Ultimate Beast Master that I got fired for because
Speaker 5: I said it was like this international competition and like
Speaker 5: Tiky and I were the host of Team USA. But
Speaker 5: then like everybody had teams like Team Britton, Team India,
Speaker 5: Team China, and when you fell off the obstacle course
Speaker 5: on the Ultimate Beast Master into the water, you got
Speaker 5: like eliminated and they called it the beasts Blood. Right,
Speaker 5: It's just whatever. And so we were doing the show
Speaker 5: like you know, forever, like a week, and then the
Speaker 5: producer in my ear was like, hey, Chris, like when
Speaker 5: this next competitor goes up, like just give us like
Speaker 5: an alt name the Beace Blood. I was like, all right.
Speaker 5: So it was a competitive Chinese competitor and and he
Speaker 5: went up and I was like, I don't have anything.
Speaker 5: And then as soon as he fell, his name was
Speaker 5: Ben Fung. As soon as he fell, I was like,
Speaker 5: as he was falling, I was like, oh shit, I
Speaker 5: got it. I got and I said, I swear to god.
Speaker 5: I had like a moment. I was like if I
Speaker 5: say this, I'm probably gonna lose my job. But like
Speaker 5: I have to say this, and he hits it, and
Speaker 5: then they're like waiting and I go. I went there
Speaker 5: goes Bin Fong into the duck sauce and and Tiki
Speaker 5: Dude was fucking diaglaughing. I get called to the boots
Speaker 5: fired during the show.
Speaker 2: See uh yeah then and.
Speaker 5: Then it was like the last day anyway. And I mean, dude,
Speaker 5: Tiky and I still like, I just saw him a
Speaker 5: couple of weeks ago, Like every time he sees me,
Speaker 5: he's like, I cannot I still cannot believe you did that.
Speaker 5: But he was like, it was one of the best
Speaker 5: moments in my life to just call my wife. But
Speaker 5: you never get believe what this kid, Chris just did.
Speaker 5: And so but anyway, so we became like close friends
Speaker 5: and and he talked to me about investing. He talked
Speaker 5: to me about how he has a company for NFL players,
Speaker 5: especially the rookies and stuff coming in that don't know
Speaker 5: anything really about finance, but they're getting this money. They
Speaker 5: invest money with him because they trust him and he
Speaker 5: he's educated himself so much on finance that you invest
Speaker 5: with him through his firm and he helps you this way.
Speaker 5: You're not going to get your money stolen by your
Speaker 5: family or bad invested whatever. He like guides you. So
Speaker 5: that kind of got me to start thinking, like, man,
Speaker 5: I got to know what's going on with my mind.
Speaker 5: I can't just give it to somebody and give them
Speaker 5: one percent, because you think of financial wealth advisors like, oh,
Speaker 5: they're only taking one percent, it's not that much money.
Speaker 5: It's like, over the course of twenty to thirty years,
Speaker 5: like they're taking hundreds of thousands of dollars that you
Speaker 5: could have invested yourself, and then with compound interest, that
Speaker 5: could turn out to be millions and millions of dollars
Speaker 5: that you just gave away. So that's the thing that
Speaker 5: I try to plan ahead now is kind of managing
Speaker 5: my own money. And every dollar I make on the
Speaker 5: road or through podcasting is like, you know, what dollar
Speaker 5: has to go to the cost of running my household
Speaker 5: and my family and making sure they are well taken
Speaker 5: care of and then investing for the future. So I
Speaker 5: don't I don't want to be that guy that's, you know,
Speaker 5: fifty five years old, like I have to go, you know,
Speaker 5: to go do some comedy club in the middle of
Speaker 5: the country if it's there, if I wanted to. But
Speaker 5: I don't want to be the guy that has to
Speaker 5: do that. But I'm aware that at if I'm gonna
Speaker 5: be the guy who's gonna get to that mega money
Speaker 5: through comedy that's gonna take a lot of time away
Speaker 5: from my family. So I'm trying to find the balance
Speaker 5: of make money here at home or being on the
Speaker 5: road as little as possible, and then taking that money
Speaker 5: and making the work for me in uh in other ways.
Speaker 2: So yeah, so if guys want investor money with me.
Speaker 9: You start hit a t barber thing. I started getting nervous. Yeah,
Speaker 9: give give me your money and I'll invest it because
Speaker 9: I'm educated.
Speaker 2: That kind of scares me.
Speaker 1: Well, no, no, that's coming from Chris, Like you know,
Speaker 1: he's kinda he's just kind of napped and saying all this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know once he brought up rookies
Speaker 2: and programs like I'm sure he's got Oh.
Speaker 5: Yeah, No, I think it's all through the NFL. I
Speaker 5: think it's all through the end. And I might be
Speaker 5: even kind of missing parts about it. It might not just
Speaker 5: be like he was just the first I remember he
Speaker 5: was the first guy. We were walking because he's a
Speaker 5: great guy, and we were walking and he saw like
Speaker 5: this open plot of land and like, uh, I think
Speaker 5: we're in like Valencia, California, and he like called somebody
Speaker 5: and he like gave him like the like co ordinates
Speaker 5: like lad like attitude longitude coordinates of this play. I
Speaker 5: was like, what the fuck are you like gonna drop
Speaker 5: a nuke? And he goes, no, dude, this this this
Speaker 5: land can be a parking lot. This is just unserved land.
Speaker 5: I want to buy this land and put a parking
Speaker 5: lot there. I was like, whoa you think like that?
Speaker 5: He was like, absolutely, he was like he told me.
Speaker 5: He was like, the thing is is like most people
Speaker 5: and again, I haven't put this into practice yet. You know,
Speaker 5: I'm living in a one bedroom but you've read so far,
Speaker 5: you've read half the book.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but most people it's like it's it's easy to
Speaker 5: not it's the money is there for the taking. It's
Speaker 5: just you don't even you don't know. Like he was like,
Speaker 5: you see a plot of land, you think, oh, it's
Speaker 5: just land. He goes, but I see how cow can
Speaker 5: this land make me money? So it's smart And he's
Speaker 5: made for sure more money now than he did during
Speaker 5: his playing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he's he's he's a great guy.
Speaker 9: When you talk about the social media and getting off
Speaker 9: social media and then everything you're doing is in the
Speaker 9: public eye, yeah, do you do you ever struggle with that?
Speaker 2: At all. It's like, is this the right avenue for me?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 2: But the podcasting and everything, Here's the thing is is sorry, yeah, okay, whoa,
Speaker 2: oh my god.
Speaker 5: Now now I have Collie Flower, Dick and and uh
Speaker 5: and he uh. So It's interesting because I feel like
Speaker 5: with podcasting right is in a way, when we first
Speaker 5: started doing it right, everybody was doing it kind of
Speaker 5: on the heels of everybody saw how successful Joe Rogan
Speaker 5: gone at it, and and kind of it was just
Speaker 5: the only way for a lot of us to kind
Speaker 5: of have any way to get our message out because
Speaker 5: we weren't getting on the TV shows, we weren't really
Speaker 5: getting in the movies, and so a lot of you know,
Speaker 5: the comics, you know obviously the ones that exploded, the
Speaker 5: Theo Vannes and the Joey Coco Diazz and all those guys.
Speaker 5: You know, it was kind of like we were watching
Speaker 5: them in New York like this is the past, like
Speaker 5: this where they're gonna let us talk, you know, uncensored
Speaker 5: to our fans. We're gonna get a fan based, a
Speaker 5: niche fan base, and that's what we'll get tickets. And
Speaker 5: that happened for a lot of us and it's and
Speaker 5: it's still continue to happen, which is good, but it
Speaker 5: feels like it's shifting now because now the big, big,
Speaker 5: big comics that I mean are exploding, like you know
Speaker 5: a Matt Rye or Jessica Kierson that they don't have podcasts,
Speaker 5: they have just clips on the Internet. It went from
Speaker 5: long form content to short form content. That's what the
Speaker 5: consumer wants now. So I have been questioning as times
Speaker 5: when going on, like should I make my podcast a
Speaker 5: little shorter? Should I be talking all the time about
Speaker 5: everything always? Because it's like, if you look, I like
Speaker 5: the Stoics. I like Stoic stoicism, and like the guys
Speaker 5: like Marcus Aurelius and Epicteus. I like them because it's like,
Speaker 5: it's not that I don't like the modern day thinkers,
Speaker 5: like the great guys like the Gary vs and the
Speaker 5: Tony Robbins, They're amazing, but it's that the Stoics wisdom
Speaker 5: has been around for two thousand plus years, so it's
Speaker 5: like battle tested wisdom. That's why I like, I always
Speaker 5: go to like what's been around longer, And so they
Speaker 5: are always saying, like, you know, like this guy Kano,
Speaker 5: who he was like the stoic stoic. He was like
Speaker 5: the Davitel the comics comic where everybody like loved this guy.
Speaker 5: He was like, you know, you have one mouth, two ears,
Speaker 5: you know, just you know, you have two years to listen,
Speaker 5: one mouth to talk to talk less, listen more, just
Speaker 5: talk less. And he said, you know, always be aware
Speaker 5: if you're subjected to the third thing and the third thing.
Speaker 5: Mean like the first thing is you do to do something,
Speaker 5: the second thing is it helps someone, and then the
Speaker 5: third thing is needing to get admiration for it.
Speaker 2: That's where the ego comes in.
Speaker 5: That's what's gonna lead you down a bad path that
Speaker 5: I'm like sometimes I'm like, all I'm doing is talking
Speaker 5: and wanting admiration for it. It's like I am falling
Speaker 5: into the third thing and just talking too much. And
Speaker 5: I don't know that it's like that on point, but
Speaker 5: lately I've been like, what am I doing? I think
Speaker 5: I'm because with podcasting a lot of times we're talking
Speaker 5: and we're having these half thought out thoughts and we're
Speaker 5: just spraying them out, and that's what gets people in
Speaker 5: trouble later on, because you're like, I didn't even stand
Speaker 5: up is different. It's like whatever I say on stage,
Speaker 5: I've thought about that, I've tried to perfect that as
Speaker 5: much as I could, and it is edited and in
Speaker 5: my brain at least, and I'm like, I have thought
Speaker 5: this out.
Speaker 2: We're a podcast.
Speaker 5: It's like people will send me clips sometimes of what
Speaker 5: I said on a podcast four years ago, and I'm like,
Speaker 5: I don't ever remember saying Hitler had some good ideas.
Speaker 5: I don't remember that at all, but I like clear
Speaker 5: evidence that I said it, because you're I'm literally in
Speaker 5: a Nazi uniform screaming at hailing so and I don't
Speaker 5: but I don't remember it at all. And so there's
Speaker 5: things that I get weary of with podcasting. And I
Speaker 5: think we all know it's very oversaturated now, but that's okay.
Speaker 5: I mean everything gets oversaturated, and I think, you know,
Speaker 5: sometimes people will be like if they come up to
Speaker 5: different comics and they're like, oh, I saw you on TikTok,
Speaker 5: Like some of my peers will get upset at that.
Speaker 5: I used to get upset at that, but it's like
Speaker 5: that's just the new medium people are finding. Like I
Speaker 5: heard like Jackie Gleeson used to get mad if you
Speaker 5: recognized him from his TV show because he got big
Speaker 5: on the radio. And it used to be the radio
Speaker 5: is everything, and if you're on TV, you're a hack.
Speaker 5: And then it went from well TV's going away and
Speaker 5: you need a podcast, and if you're on TV, you're
Speaker 5: a hack.
Speaker 2: It's about the podcast.
Speaker 5: And now it's starting to become well everybody's on TikTok
Speaker 5: and it's like, what are you just another guy with
Speaker 5: a podcast? So it's constantly evolving, I'm realizing. So it's
Speaker 5: like always about trying to get to that next thing,
Speaker 5: which I genuinely have no idea how to get to
Speaker 5: or what that is.
Speaker 9: That's it, Yeah, that's that's the That's the fear when
Speaker 9: you're trying to stay in front of everybody's eyes, is like,
Speaker 9: what is next? How do I stay on top about?
Speaker 9: Just like the Threads thing you were talking about. Yeah, threads,
Speaker 9: what that was? I thought it was. I thought it
Speaker 9: was a competition of bird dogs. Yeah, I thought it
Speaker 9: was shorts.
Speaker 2: Right, But we're driving here, it will yeah, literally away
Speaker 2: from it.
Speaker 5: It starts to ride that crease the ride.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 9: But Threads I didn't even know about. Literally were driving
Speaker 9: here and they're talking about threads, and I was like,
Speaker 9: what the fuck is what? What is threads? Yeah, I'm
Speaker 9: in my head, but like things just coming out of
Speaker 9: nowhere like this. Have you seen this grimace shake thing?
Speaker 9: Look at this You've you've been rolling it a million
Speaker 9: miles an hour.
Speaker 2: It's unfucking believable. What's going on round? Yeah?
Speaker 5: And people are like, you should get They'll send me messages. Oh,
Speaker 5: you can get injections, botox injections. You can get this
Speaker 5: to on death. This is natural, dude, this is natural
Speaker 5: leak anatomy. And I don't care because you know what,
Speaker 5: I'm sweating out the vaccine there. You have to no, no, no, no, no, yes,
Speaker 5: yes I did.
Speaker 2: You're in New York.
Speaker 5: You had to get it, dude. You had yeah, you
Speaker 5: had fucking no choice. But I got it out of me.
Speaker 5: Oh wait, yeah, dude, I got it right now. I
Speaker 5: just as soon as I got it, man, I just
Speaker 5: started jerking off like me. I was jerking off in
Speaker 5: the Walgreens to just get it out, get it out
Speaker 5: of here.
Speaker 1: What what do you read and listen to stoicism? Okay, clearly, so.
Speaker 5: The last two books I've read. First one is called
Speaker 5: The Simple Path to Wealth by J. L. Collins. That's
Speaker 5: a great book about finance and stuff like that, very
Speaker 5: puts everything in layman's terms. Then I've read, I read
Speaker 5: every morning, I read a page of this book called
Speaker 5: The Daily Dad by Ryan Holliday and The Daily Dad
Speaker 5: So if you guys don't know, that's a little email subscription.
Speaker 5: I'm subscribed to that. And I read a page from
Speaker 5: The Daily Dad every day. And now I'm reading Atomic
Speaker 5: Habits by James Clear and uh, and I'm also reading
Speaker 5: seventeen seventy six by David McCulloch just because, you know,
Speaker 5: fourth of July. I was like, I just want to
Speaker 5: be reminded that, literally, your patriot, I mean, we are
Speaker 5: the greatest. We are the greatest three hundred and fifty
Speaker 5: million humans the world has ever seen is the America,
Speaker 5: every single one of them under Yeah, dude, Yeah, literally,
Speaker 5: an American in a wheelchair is better than the best
Speaker 5: fighter that Russia or Ukraine has ever had, just because
Speaker 5: he's got red white.
Speaker 2: You're talking, you're talking literally.
Speaker 5: Ready to aps fucking lutely.
Speaker 2: Hell. Yes, my wife from Canada, she just doesn't get it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: she doesn't fucking under She doesn't understand at all.
Speaker 9: I was trying to tell her, yeah, about the Fourth
Speaker 9: of July and the reason why fireworks are going off, Yeah,
Speaker 9: and the reason why we celebrate all of this exactly.
Speaker 2: Just telling you that. He just say thank you, yeah,
Speaker 2: for everything we've done for you. D day. Yeah. Well
Speaker 2: we're back to back.
Speaker 5: You're welcome. And she's just sitting there fucking rubbing maple
Speaker 5: syrup al over No question, that's wearing all. Yeah, No disgusting.
Speaker 5: I got fucking hot dogs coming out of every hole
Speaker 5: in my body, no.
Speaker 2: Question, dude, speaking of hot dogs.
Speaker 9: Joey chestnutt the best American hero, no reflex, No, he
Speaker 9: just rolls.
Speaker 2: That guy.
Speaker 5: Just the thing I like to think about Joey Chestnut
Speaker 5: is could you I would like to see? I really
Speaker 5: would like to because we all know what he could
Speaker 5: do there. I need to see the toilet bowl twenty
Speaker 5: minutes later. I think that's the documentaries. What does this
Speaker 5: guy's shit look like? Because how can you possibly consume
Speaker 5: sixty five hot dogs in whatever it is, ten minutes
Speaker 5: and then not ship blood?
Speaker 2: How is it possible?
Speaker 1: Fucking up the toilet paper brands? You need to be
Speaker 1: stocking him up?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Charmon needs to be a man sponsor.
Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, yeah, they they because it does that. That
Speaker 5: makes a lot of sense. And I think the guy
Speaker 5: before in the Kobeashi guy was ripped. Dude, ripped because
Speaker 5: I think he used to eat like a lot of
Speaker 5: ruffage and kind of he was. He would talk about
Speaker 5: like eating lettuce and stuff that was like an actual
Speaker 5: like ab workout, Like if you don't have to go
Speaker 5: to the gym, you just eat a bunch of lettuce.
Speaker 2: I don't think that plays, dude, I don't tell him.
Speaker 2: He looked great. I know who you were talking about.
Speaker 5: Yeah, every might I see a guy with as I'm like, like,
Speaker 5: he eats mad lattice.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that that. But that guy fell by the wayside.
Speaker 5: Now Kobeyashi, he's that Joey Chestnut crushed him. I saw
Speaker 5: Joey Chestnut once in Buffalo, and I was like, Joey
Speaker 5: chest and he acted too cool. I was like, relax,
Speaker 5: you eat hot dogs to just relaxed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was around. I was around him one time
Speaker 2: as well.
Speaker 1: I forget it was in Florida, and he does have
Speaker 1: kind of that vibe like, yeah.
Speaker 5: Which hate You're the best to ever do it best
Speaker 5: to ever do it, no doubt.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's also like, guy like, why don't you
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, just let's just relax. You
Speaker 2: see it.
Speaker 1: You can see it on his face, like as he's
Speaker 1: going back out to the rally, the people to have that, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, put the show back on, the show will
Speaker 1: go on.
Speaker 2: I hate that, but you need somebody and the act
Speaker 2: like that. He's well, he's one of the goats, so
Speaker 2: he is. We don't know what it's like to him.
Speaker 2: You're right, you know what, I guess. I guess that's
Speaker 2: a lot of pressure. It's one of the goats. He's
Speaker 2: one of the goats of like the food industry.
Speaker 5: Like I think he's got to be the goo. Yeah,
Speaker 5: he's the goat of that. Like, well, I think I
Speaker 5: think you think of the three goats. I think you
Speaker 5: think of the three goats. I think you think of
Speaker 5: Joey Chesslunt, you think of Gordon Ramsey, you think of
Speaker 5: Jared Vogel. That's what I think you think of those.
Speaker 2: Guy.
Speaker 5: No, but I think Jared Fault. I think you think
Speaker 5: you know he used to go for sub boy sandwiches,
Speaker 5: you know, not for the other stuff. Well, I mean,
Speaker 5: although you know, if we're just talking about pure numbers,
Speaker 5: he might be the go to that too.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Papa Nice, Yes, Papa John. Papa John's
Speaker 2: one of.
Speaker 5: Those guys who I actually never minded Papa John's pizza.
Speaker 5: I never minded it at all. It was sometimes so
Speaker 5: good that, you know, I remember eating, especially the pizzerias
Speaker 5: in Brooklyn. You know, because the pizzeri is in Brooklyn.
Speaker 5: That's why I think I like Papa John's because the
Speaker 5: pizzeri is in Brooklyn. I mean, those guys are all
Speaker 5: saying the N word. So I was like, I was like, oh,
Speaker 5: this is just what pizza makers do. So I didn't
Speaker 5: understand what the CoA.
Speaker 2: This feels like home.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I was like, I thought, I thought, this is
Speaker 5: what these guys do. I thought, oh, okay, because Vinnie
Speaker 5: from Third Avenue says that every oh every time I
Speaker 5: get a sun Tan that.
Speaker 1: Calls me, Papa John's was the spot where you went
Speaker 1: for the specialty pizzas one hundred percent.
Speaker 5: Now in Missouri that's like a gourmet, right, like Papa
Speaker 5: John's Little Like in Missouri, Missouri? Is it Papa John's
Speaker 5: Little Caesar's Pizza? Where are you taking like your mom
Speaker 5: out for a fiftieth birthday. Where's a nice place, like, Mom,
Speaker 5: I'm treating you Olive Garden. Olive Garden, that's where you're
Speaker 5: gonna go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Olive Garden's like a five star established one hundred percent.
Speaker 5: Yeah, dude, breadsticks are legit.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: When you'd have like prom or any type of formal
Speaker 1: dances in high school, like you're trying to get up
Speaker 1: to the city forty five minute drive and take them
Speaker 1: to Olive Garden.
Speaker 2: Right right, that's because where's the Saint Louis.
Speaker 5: Saint Louis was the closest city, all right. There's nothing
Speaker 5: going on in Saint Louis. You know, we got the Cardinals.
Speaker 5: We got the Cardinals, we get the arts, like the arch,
Speaker 5: the stadium, right, ballpark, village there you go. Yeah, they
Speaker 5: got a couple of things going on out there. Nelly,
Speaker 5: we had Nelly figure, Oh there, Nelly.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I actually like Saint Louis. I'm gonna be there in
Speaker 5: I think October. The pageant theater I'm gonna be at.
Speaker 5: And I remember when I went to Saint Louis, when
Speaker 5: I went to the Cardinals game. Tell me if I'm wrong,
Speaker 5: But This is just the observation I made when I
Speaker 5: went to the Cardinals game. It was weird because it
Speaker 5: was like one almost one hundred of the fans watching
Speaker 5: the game, we're white, and one hundred percent of the
Speaker 5: workers were black.
Speaker 2: Is that true? I don't know.
Speaker 5: I think we did zoom on his face. I want
Speaker 5: to see it.
Speaker 2: It just started like sweating. I don't know if that's yeah, his.
Speaker 5: Pits are like this, Yeah, I know. I think Bush
Speaker 5: Stadium is one of those stadiums. I think I heard
Speaker 5: that they designed it where every seat is like angle
Speaker 5: toward home plate. So it's one of the best spectator parks.
Speaker 2: It's one of the Yeah, Cardinals baseball is one of
Speaker 2: the best. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, But I will say when I worked for the
Speaker 5: I worked for MLB. I did a show called Off
Speaker 5: the Bat there I was on MTV too, in like
Speaker 5: twenty fourteen. I mean, nobody watched his thing and and
Speaker 5: again kissing Death and and.
Speaker 2: And this might be your big break, is busket?
Speaker 5: I hope so? And then uh and then so. I
Speaker 5: remember we did the show and every team was cool
Speaker 5: except the Cardinals and the Yankees, like they thought, like
Speaker 5: who the fuck they were? Didn't want to work with anybody,
Speaker 5: and I was kind of want to be like guy,
Speaker 5: like nobody cares about really either one, like just shut
Speaker 5: The Cardinals are great and the Yankees are great. But
Speaker 5: at the end of the day, like fans of sports,
Speaker 5: I'm a sports fan, but like the fans that like
Speaker 5: live and die with their teams and players, I'm like, like,
Speaker 5: so I'll sometimes talk about like sports on stage and
Speaker 5: somebody like if I talk about like the Mets or the Yankees,
Speaker 5: somebody's like.
Speaker 2: Boo thomb a Phillies fan.
Speaker 5: It's like, do you realize that you as a diehard
Speaker 5: Phillies fan, if you got within one foot of Bryce Harper,
Speaker 5: he would hit you with the Louisville Slugger across your
Speaker 5: fucking head and you would look like Stephen Hawking for
Speaker 5: the rest of your life. So stop praising athlete, Like,
Speaker 5: don't make it your whole identity a fucking sports team.
Speaker 5: You know what I mean. You guys are NFL athletes.
Speaker 5: I fucking it's great. I'm like, wow, that's awesome. But
Speaker 5: it's like, at the end of the day, it's like
Speaker 5: I just felt like the Cardinals and the Yankees like
Speaker 5: they thought they were like gods. I was like, I'll
Speaker 5: you know, dude, I'll fucking I'll give I'll give you all,
Speaker 5: Tommy John right now. Shit, I'll give you all. I'll
Speaker 5: just start, I'll cut over slash and elbows, I'll start.
Speaker 5: I'll literally pull out your owner collateral ligament right now,
Speaker 5: and I'll fucking eat it like Joey Chestnut.
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Speaker 1: were doing a h draft, a fans draft with the
Speaker 1: Chicago were you were you You.
Speaker 2: Wasn't on that, but they were.
Speaker 1: They were going on and on about Yankees fans and
Speaker 1: Cardinals fans, Like Yankees fans are just unbearing because you
Speaker 1: got the Northeast people.
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, it's just like it's over the top.
Speaker 1: But also then like they talked about the Midwest, like
Speaker 1: with San Louis Cardinals fans, and it's like the fans
Speaker 1: in baseball think they're so much better than everybody.
Speaker 5: Yeah, dude, I'm telling you your Bronx tail with chas pmmonary.
Speaker 5: That's like every child should just watch that because it's
Speaker 5: like it's so much knowledge in that movie. Nobody cares,
Speaker 5: you know, he talks about Mickey Mantle when the kids
Speaker 5: like opsessed the Mickey manthors, like Mickey Mantle doesn't care
Speaker 5: about you. It's like it's so it's so it's so
Speaker 5: beyond true that I I like the athletes I liked.
Speaker 5: I'd like to see more athletes just leaning into that.
Speaker 5: It's being yeah, being like I don't you know, like
Speaker 5: I'd rather be having sex with my side piece than
Speaker 5: going to visit this cancer hospital for the kids. I
Speaker 5: really would love to get a blowjob before the game,
Speaker 5: but I have to talk to this kid who's gonna
Speaker 5: die next week whether I hit a home run or not.
Speaker 5: It's like, just give up, you know he might. So
Speaker 5: it's like, I like, I like more real people where
Speaker 5: they're like, yeah, I forgot somebody was real about something
Speaker 5: an athlete last year. I won't remember, but somebody said
Speaker 5: something that was it was like fucking hilarious, Like I forgot.
Speaker 5: Probably Marshaun Lynch or somebody great like that. That's just like, yeah, dude,
Speaker 5: it's it's it's uh. I mean, did you guys feel
Speaker 5: like as athletes, like you know, you have to like
Speaker 5: be godlike to the kids.
Speaker 9: I think at points, at points and points in time, yeah,
Speaker 9: you had to. Like, but if kids are way different
Speaker 9: than the you know, forty five year old adults that
Speaker 9: are wearing your jersey, it's a way different vibe. But
Speaker 9: if kids are looking up to you, I'm sure truly
Speaker 9: thinking of he was a good point. You want to
Speaker 9: give them the time to be like bro children. If
Speaker 9: a child, I think that's a good point. Games and
Speaker 9: stuff like that in a sports rings that should be
Speaker 9: for I think going to sports games and jiu jitsu
Speaker 9: is for kids. I don't want to see you as
Speaker 9: an adult doing jiu jitsu either. You did it and
Speaker 9: you learned it.
Speaker 5: I don't need to see you forty five years old
Speaker 5: fucking just getting into jiu jitsu because Anthony bor David
Speaker 5: he also killed himself rightfully, so so it's just like,
Speaker 5: just stop with jiu jitsu as an adult and stop
Speaker 5: going to games and making your fucking life. It's like
Speaker 5: that's I think, yeah, it should be kids stuff. I like,
Speaker 5: I like a child in a jersey. Good call, good
Speaker 5: call on that. Yeah, but but but but adults. Yeah,
Speaker 5: there is something weird about a forty five year old guy.
Speaker 5: That's like he wants a base. He wants another man's
Speaker 5: name on his back. Yeah, birthday, we have a thing.
Speaker 5: If you were our names in the back of your jersey,
Speaker 5: we get the fuck you we have free.
Speaker 2: I'm all about the jerseys. Yeah, I don't. I don't
Speaker 2: mind it.
Speaker 9: I just want to know how that option if it
Speaker 9: all comes up. That's the availability. Here's where I think
Speaker 9: fans put their identity in teams is as human beings cavemen.
Speaker 9: We want we want to be a parceling. You feel
Speaker 9: safer that way. If you're part of a village or
Speaker 9: a community, you feel safer and you have an identity
Speaker 9: in that, and you're able to grow and flourish much more. Right,
Speaker 9: and so we haven't evolved enough we at the end
Speaker 9: of it. Go to college, you want to be a
Speaker 9: part of a fraternity because you want you want a
Speaker 9: sense of community.
Speaker 2: You get out of college, you're in a city.
Speaker 9: Let me join this fan base and be a part
Speaker 9: of it and you raise your kids and like that
Speaker 9: is the community hospitalism.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, in a way. Absolutely.
Speaker 5: But here's the thing though, here's the catch. And my
Speaker 5: father knew this. I really I dated a girl once
Speaker 5: ten years ago. I really liked her. Right, great, this
Speaker 5: got to bring her home to meet my pops. Immediately
Speaker 5: I could see my pops does not like this girl.
Speaker 5: And I'm like, oh my god. You know, I don't
Speaker 5: know what it is is because she's Chinese. I have
Speaker 5: no idea, and I I'm like and I'm like and
Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm like, so what is going on?
Speaker 2: So she leaves. I'm like, how great? You know? Was she?
Speaker 2: I was like, it seems like he didn't like her. He goes, yeah,
Speaker 2: damn right, I don't like her. I said, why he goes?
Speaker 5: You can't trust this braud, I said, what, he goes,
Speaker 5: she's a Yankees fan. I said, yeah, exactly, we're all
Speaker 5: Yankees fans. That's why I thought you'd love her. She goes,
Speaker 5: she's from Boston. Why the fuck is she a Yankees fan?
Speaker 5: And I was like wow. He was like, you're never
Speaker 5: going to trust anybody that if they go against her
Speaker 5: own town and they picked the rival team fuck that
Speaker 5: person forever. And I was like, holy shit, and dude,
Speaker 5: she turned out to be a bitch. No, she turned
Speaker 5: out to be a fucking bitch and she and she
Speaker 5: was actually a deceitful person. And my dad knew it.
Speaker 5: My dad called that just on that thing. He was like,
Speaker 5: I do. She was trying to empathize with him about all,
Speaker 5: I'm a Yankees fan too, and then he was like
Speaker 5: oh really. He goes, where'd you grow up? And she's like, oh,
Speaker 5: I grew up in Boston. And then immediately he.
Speaker 2: Knew right then and there, he was like this fucking
Speaker 2: this because you.
Speaker 1: Know, learn that lesson unless you have the fandom from me,
Speaker 1: Because he doesn't care if you're a Red Sox fan,
Speaker 1: even though that that's not the team he likes.
Speaker 5: He's like, if you're from Boston, go for it. I'll
Speaker 5: get along with you because at least it's one town.
Speaker 5: You know, your your your your town, your team.
Speaker 2: I get it.
Speaker 5: So he he never understood the people that were fans
Speaker 5: of other teams. If you're from that city, He's like, listen,
Speaker 5: you know, like it's uh. He would always say, like,
Speaker 5: you know, like geography is it's your destiny. If you
Speaker 5: were born there, that's where you were fucking born. Unfortunately,
Speaker 5: gotta like that team, even if they're a last place team.
Speaker 5: That's just how it is. And I'm like, all right, man.
Speaker 9: So he's always a big line toe on the sand, though,
Speaker 9: is just he just as you're born there, you have
Speaker 9: to be a.
Speaker 2: Fan of that. He's like that.
Speaker 5: That's that's all. It is the Northeast, That is the
Speaker 5: northde My dad ready for this. My dad's seventy five
Speaker 5: years old. The first time he crossed left New York
Speaker 5: state lines was three years ago, right before the pandemic.
Speaker 5: He never left. He never crossed one toe outside New
Speaker 5: York state lines. It's just old sate. And he didn't care,
Speaker 5: by the way, he didn't care. It was his wife
Speaker 5: just made him do it. Really, he just didn't care
Speaker 5: at all. He was like, I I couldn't care less
Speaker 5: I ever leave the state, which is interesting, you know.
Speaker 5: I was like, don't you want to like see Italy's Like,
Speaker 5: I'll see it on YouTube. I was like, nice, dude.
Speaker 2: The pride in people of New York is insane. It
Speaker 2: is insane.
Speaker 9: It's it's a wild fucking deal. Because we were driving
Speaker 9: here now I was looking at all these buildings, like
Speaker 9: how do people fucking live here? And you're telling me
Speaker 9: about your dad who would never fucking leave here.
Speaker 2: Never. You're saying you never fucking leave here.
Speaker 5: Well that's the thing. It's like, you know, like I
Speaker 5: almost envy people who aren't born and raised in New
Speaker 5: York because you guys had experience, you left your state,
Speaker 5: You had a motivation to want to get out of
Speaker 5: your city, get out of your state, go to another college,
Speaker 5: see stuff. Where New York it always felt like everyone
Speaker 5: was coming to us, So you get this mindset, you're like,
Speaker 5: why am I why don't want to leave here?
Speaker 2: Like none of my friends out of like my I.
Speaker 5: Have like a big thirty person friend group, none of them,
Speaker 5: not one left New York to go to college. Zero
Speaker 5: people dormed. Everybody went to school locally, and which is
Speaker 5: like you go to other places, like that's unheard of.
Speaker 5: Everybody's going to schools all over, everybody's getting out. But
Speaker 5: growing up here's weird. It's like you just like I
Speaker 5: don't know if it's changed now, but back when I
Speaker 5: was in college, high school, college, it was like people
Speaker 5: stayed local all the time. Because I think We're like,
Speaker 5: we got the best clubs here, we got the food,
Speaker 5: we got and it is a little bit silly. I mean,
Speaker 5: you got to get out of it and to appreciate
Speaker 5: it more.
Speaker 2: But that's it's like a mindset.
Speaker 5: Like most people that grew up in my neighborhood, they've
Speaker 5: been in that same ten block radius their whole life.
Speaker 2: Wouldn't it's good and bad? You know, yeah, you know,
Speaker 2: but it's you know.
Speaker 9: Of all the places you traveled, if you couldn't live
Speaker 9: in the Northeast, because I feel like an easy cop
Speaker 9: out here would be like a boss or something like that,
Speaker 9: where would you live? Where would you want to live?
Speaker 9: Because I'm sure you've traveled a lot for comedy. You've
Speaker 9: seen probably most of the states.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think I've seen. I've been to almost all
Speaker 5: of them. Now I would say where would I want
Speaker 5: to live? If I could tell you're saying I could
Speaker 5: take my family.
Speaker 2: You're allowed to take your family. Brother, We've done a lot.
Speaker 2: You have made it very clear.
Speaker 5: I could take these Puerto Ricans and I'm not gonna
Speaker 5: have to pay Puerto Rican tax no anywhere now. And
Speaker 5: if I want to go to like some real southern state,
Speaker 5: where they you have to pay tax.
Speaker 2: If your kid is from an island, you're a freekly.
Speaker 5: I'm pretty and clear of that tax, of the Puerto
Speaker 5: Rican tax, the PRT. I would move to Charleston, South Carolina.
Speaker 5: Reason where you're from. Nice that city. I love that city.
Speaker 5: That city felt like that city felt like to me
Speaker 5: what I would imagine like a colonial like how it
Speaker 5: felt in its colonial days, like it kind of got that.
Speaker 5: I just felt like that city. I love the history.
Speaker 5: I'm a big history so boom. It was small enough
Speaker 5: but yet big enough where I feel like I wouldn't
Speaker 5: be able to consume it all in a week. And
Speaker 5: there's probably new things happening all the time. It's an
Speaker 5: up and coming city. You can go to different places
Speaker 5: that are just twenty miles outside of it, that are
Speaker 5: structurally different and you know, politically different, so it's all
Speaker 5: different schemes. And I just and I thought the weather
Speaker 5: that I know, it gets hot as fuck, but I
Speaker 5: thought that like the weather at least when I was
Speaker 5: there in the wintertime, was like beautiful perfect.
Speaker 2: I think I'd go to Charleston. Yeah. And I love
Speaker 2: the food.
Speaker 5: I love the food there, and I love the people
Speaker 5: the vibe of the people there were really really good.
Speaker 5: People were real. It was really like a good vibe.
Speaker 5: That's because you grew up here, right, because you don't
Speaker 5: like them where you're from.
Speaker 1: Not that not that you don't like Northeast people. It's
Speaker 1: just like it's just a different person. Like it's a
Speaker 1: to B. It doesn't matter what's going on in your way.
Speaker 1: People just know it's not a very hospitable right.
Speaker 9: Every region you grow up and you're told that the
Speaker 9: other regions are like X, Y and Z. A group
Speaker 9: in Arizona, right, oh, man, Northeast are all mean up there.
Speaker 9: And then you live in Michigan, like down south best, right,
Speaker 9: you know, it's like it's a whole different deal. Right,
Speaker 9: and then you go, I have like I've been up north,
Speaker 9: I've lived down South, I've lived in the West, and
Speaker 9: it's like everyone's kind of the same. It's just how
Speaker 9: they approach their delivery of how to say things.
Speaker 2: You can't generalize.
Speaker 5: Anybody who like generalizes a group of people, I think
Speaker 5: is a fucking idiot. It's like it is so like
Speaker 5: case by case basis it it's it's it's been proven
Speaker 5: time and time again. It's like you can't generalize groups.
Speaker 5: The tribalism thing is real, that happens in every animal,
Speaker 5: the animal kingdom. It's like, you want to be with
Speaker 5: like minded people. You want to be with people that
Speaker 5: if it's if it's if it's that they look like you,
Speaker 5: if it's I have the same religion as you, the
Speaker 5: same team, whatever. But I think that, yeah, man, like
Speaker 5: you can't just like when I was in I probably
Speaker 5: like Charleston because of these the people that I met
Speaker 5: in those specific days I was there, right, So that's
Speaker 5: why I'm like attached it. So it works for me.
Speaker 5: But you know, I just went to Italy or Sicily,
Speaker 5: and I went to Taro Mina, Sicily, and we had
Speaker 5: a great I had a great time. There was awesome, amazing,
Speaker 5: and it was the first time ever that I went
Speaker 5: to a place and I actually fell in love with
Speaker 5: the people. I would hear people say that, oh, you
Speaker 5: fall in love with the people, and I would just
Speaker 5: be like what that. It meant nothing to me. I
Speaker 5: never felt that, But then with these people, I felt
Speaker 5: it because they're like in more ancient culture, way more
Speaker 5: ancient than you know, American culture. So I was at
Speaker 5: the hotel and I asked the guy that I gotten
Speaker 5: to know there for a few days. I was there
Speaker 5: as like an old like wise Italian guy. I was like,
Speaker 5: what do you think? Like, what's uh, what's something you
Speaker 5: notice about people here? He was like, here's the thing,
Speaker 5: the number one thing that I noticed all these years
Speaker 5: I'm working at this hotel. He was like a baggage
Speaker 5: hop guy, and he was like, the people that have
Speaker 5: the most luggage have the worst time.
Speaker 2: Always exclusively.
Speaker 5: If you have a lot of luggage, you will inevitably
Speaker 5: have a bad time because you're totally consumed with yourself
Speaker 5: and your things, and you don't realize that you're coming
Speaker 5: to a place to not to leave. You leave those
Speaker 5: things behind, You're coming for a new experience. He goes in,
Speaker 5: it's always Americans mostly, it's always people from the America,
Speaker 5: Canada usually there.
Speaker 2: They come with so much stuff and they never have
Speaker 2: a good time.
Speaker 5: He's like, where I see people from the Philippines, or
Speaker 5: it's like I see people from the Middle East. They
Speaker 5: come here, they have just like a book bag. They're
Speaker 5: having a great time. They're like no complaints, they never work,
Speaker 5: they never yell at the staff, they never want more,
Speaker 5: they never demand of us anything.
Speaker 2: I was like, wow, so pack light that's right, baby,
Speaker 2: bud light twisted tea. Yeah, I like to twist the
Speaker 2: tea pot? Is this a twist? T shot it out? Love?
Speaker 2: Twisted tea?
Speaker 3: Dude?
Speaker 2: Do I really don't?
Speaker 5: I mean, whatever, dude, go to as long as you
Speaker 5: that's your Uh, that's probably you know.
Speaker 2: Before you even came on the podcast, like, hey, let's
Speaker 2: make sure you never know. Probably sitting in the car
Speaker 2: and I don't know who these guys are.
Speaker 5: Hard What do you think I drink off to? And yeah,
Speaker 5: one hundred dude, Jeffrey start, How great was that?
Speaker 2: It was amazing?
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was.
Speaker 2: It was a very unique experience for me.
Speaker 9: Nice, how's the cock bigger than I expected? With that
Speaker 9: slender body? You think I was thinking a little less?
Speaker 2: No, dude, when you see a slender guy, you know
Speaker 2: that you have. Let me tell you something. I can
Speaker 2: point him out.
Speaker 5: Now let me answer.
Speaker 2: You live in a locker room long enough, you know
Speaker 2: you know the type.
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Speaker 5: Well who I don't know if you've spoken about this
Speaker 5: on the show, but who that you haven't seen? Okay,
Speaker 5: so can't you know? Who do you think has the
Speaker 5: biggest dick in the NFL? Right now?
Speaker 2: It just off looks alone. A couple fucking jump out
Speaker 2: of me right right now. You've seen a lot, right.
Speaker 5: Because you've seen them.
Speaker 2: Also the one you might know for sure, But like,
Speaker 2: who is it.
Speaker 5: Just the biggest fattest uncircumcised cock in the NFL?
Speaker 2: No fucking shot.
Speaker 3: Right now?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I used you know what I'm saying what
Speaker 2: you haven't seen. I'm saying about what you.
Speaker 5: Think because I've seen them all, that's.
Speaker 2: A good question. Yeah, it's got to be a dB.
Speaker 2: You think, oh wide receiver.
Speaker 9: Yeah, dude, the big boys, all that meat on them,
Speaker 9: he pulls it away.
Speaker 2: DeAndre Hopkins might have something.
Speaker 5: That's what I was thinking about. Bro Hopkins was in
Speaker 5: my head.
Speaker 9: He is five X slender guyler that he had the
Speaker 9: shoulders forward walk. That's what I thought, short, forward walk,
Speaker 9: big hands, slender body parties.
Speaker 2: Is he It's rumored.
Speaker 9: It's rumored to me, you know what to as I
Speaker 9: might be cheating a little bit because Ben Jones did
Speaker 9: tell me that it's a fucking.
Speaker 1: Well that's good though that I got to say, because
Speaker 1: I didn't know that, and I was thinking of so
Speaker 1: that that has to be that he has to have.
Speaker 2: A huge dick, thinks gotta be.
Speaker 5: Yeah, when you got and you might have talked about
Speaker 5: this before, but this is when you guys like was
Speaker 5: it a call that you got like saying like, hey,
Speaker 5: I'm going to the NFL? Like what what was that Like?
Speaker 5: Was it like a moment that you'll never forget it?
Speaker 5: Was it like just a moment that came and went.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's a it's a moment you never forget, like,
Speaker 2: never forget, like you started crying, no, not for me.
Speaker 9: When you talk about like Ryan Holliday, the egos, the
Speaker 9: enemy and stuff like that, Like when you're in college
Speaker 9: or at least then you're so wrapped up, and when
Speaker 9: am I getting picked and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 9: I was the eleventh overall pick in twenty fourteen, and
Speaker 9: there are two tackles taken before me.
Speaker 2: Look at you now, and I was fucking mad.
Speaker 5: I was livid because people were taking before you, taken
Speaker 5: before me, because you thought you deserve to be number one.
Speaker 9: I'd thought I deserved to be the first or second
Speaker 9: tackle taking off the board.
Speaker 2: I was the first pick in your draft. First pick
Speaker 2: of my draft was Jadavon Clowney. Okay.
Speaker 9: Second pick was Greg Robinson. No, Greg Robinson, then klil Mack.
Speaker 2: Greg Robinson was the left tackle. Greg Robinson was LA.
Speaker 5: Feels like this draft they were picking in Dick's eye,
Speaker 5: they went down Clowny's number one, and you're the eleven.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 9: I would have been undrafted free agent. I'd been fielding calls,
Speaker 9: hoping to get a tryout.
Speaker 2: It happened for me.
Speaker 5: So so you were in that's very interesting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's also.
Speaker 5: If you got spoken about this that nauseam. But I
Speaker 5: just think that's fascinating right to to think because you're
Speaker 5: such an elite athlete, if you're the eleventh pick in
Speaker 5: the draft, but you still found a way to be
Speaker 5: upset or as all human minds.
Speaker 9: But that is like, that's I think that is such
Speaker 9: a play, such a big factor in sports is you
Speaker 9: have to have like some sort of like reason to
Speaker 9: keep a chip on your shoulder, a reason to be
Speaker 9: like what's next. You're never in the moment. You're always
Speaker 9: consumed about what's next. Comment and get there and I
Speaker 9: all railroad whoever I gotta do to get to the
Speaker 9: point where I feel like I finally succeeded in everything.
Speaker 2: Interesting.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I heard Joe Rogan say once in his podcast,
Speaker 5: I forget too that like you have to create a
Speaker 5: vendetta with someone sometimes even though it's not real, keep
Speaker 5: it in your head.
Speaker 2: Tell them about it. Yeah, keep it, but you have motivation.
Speaker 9: Yeah, it's it is one of those deals, at least
Speaker 9: for me. I'm sure a lot of guys have different
Speaker 9: paths and because you can't generalize everybody, but for me,
Speaker 9: that was definitely what kept me motivated is if I
Speaker 9: were to have success in a season individually, the minute
Speaker 9: that success was announced, I would be solely focused on
Speaker 9: making sure it wasn't a fluke. And people think this
Speaker 9: is a one time thing and you literally tell yourself
Speaker 9: whatever you have to tell yourself to make sure that
Speaker 9: it happens again, right, And it's a brutal way to
Speaker 9: live your life. But when you when you get cut,
Speaker 9: like for a lot of guys, it's it's way different.
Speaker 2: For me, the writing was on the wall. I had
Speaker 2: two acls and three years.
Speaker 9: So for me, it's like you have two acals in
Speaker 9: three years in the contract I was supposed to get
Speaker 9: to the next year, it's like, obviously this is gonna happen.
Speaker 9: And then have this to fall back on and be
Speaker 9: like there's a level of safety and knowing like okay,
Speaker 9: like I know there's a way to financially figure out
Speaker 9: what I want and have fulfillment to where you're like,
Speaker 9: all right, this is I'm gonna be okay, which I
Speaker 9: think a lot of sure, a lot of players don't
Speaker 9: get a lot of players try to start the next
Speaker 9: thing before they're even done.
Speaker 2: And the ability we started this in twenty eighteen, and
Speaker 2: did you meet on the field. We played each other
Speaker 2: in college going to Nebraska in to Michigan, but we
Speaker 2: didn't meet, like we didn't know each other. It was
Speaker 2: a white boy. A white boy was the last name
Speaker 2: of Compton.
Speaker 9: I was like, holy fuck, this guy's a problem. Probably
Speaker 9: how little did I know?
Speaker 5: And then you and then you what were you drafted?
Speaker 5: I was undrafted, So so that's so it's for you.
Speaker 5: Then you just kind of call out of nowhere like
Speaker 5: you're getting to the.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's like hopes of being drafted in the later rounds,
Speaker 1: and when it didn't happen, it kind of just happens
Speaker 1: quickly after the draft, like hey, you know, there's a
Speaker 1: few teams in the mix. And then the agent calls
Speaker 1: and like, hey, you're signing with Washington. So then the
Speaker 1: next week you go out to Washington for rookie mini
Speaker 1: camp and everything else. And then my first year I
Speaker 1: spent on the practice squad and then was active at
Speaker 1: the very last game of the season in Week one,
Speaker 1: which was my like moment of like call my dad
Speaker 1: and being like, Yo, this is fucking I'm doing it,
Speaker 1: Like I'm getting called up.
Speaker 2: And that must have been a stick call for your dad.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, absolutely, yeah, then I love that. Yeah, Bill
Speaker 2: was so fired up. And are you a big football fan,
Speaker 2: Like do you know who London Fletcher is? Yeah?
Speaker 5: Sure, yeah, uh he's uh. I like, I like the
Speaker 5: first team for you is the Redskins. You look like
Speaker 5: you have the voice of like the guy that invented
Speaker 5: the name.
Speaker 2: That was funny as.
Speaker 1: But uh yeah, in the second year I got I
Speaker 1: made the team and every everything else, and I had
Speaker 1: like kind of like a slower climb and all that,
Speaker 1: but a lot of my like chip and everything else
Speaker 1: came with like front office fans like you just wanted
Speaker 1: to prove everybody wrong, like I belonged in the league
Speaker 1: right it could play, and each year was trying to
Speaker 1: attain like a new levels.
Speaker 5: And how many years you were you at nine?
Speaker 2: Wow? Ten arguably, but also I have to cut it. No,
Speaker 2: don't cut it, clip it.
Speaker 5: Oh okay, what's up?
Speaker 2: You said?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know argument you played ten years?
Speaker 4: Taylor says you played maybe seven?
Speaker 9: Hey is what I did. But we don't have to
Speaker 9: go back to NF I think we've done a lot
Speaker 9: of work since then. Will played ten years in the NFL.
Speaker 9: Everything except for stepping on the field for the.
Speaker 1: Tenth year, having a like a having the the series
Speaker 1: back and forth.
Speaker 2: Nine.
Speaker 1: I was about to play my tenth year, we had
Speaker 1: a game or I had a gambling show going on,
Speaker 1: and so the NFL didn't allow me to get back.
Speaker 2: And when I was about to sign with Atlanta last year,
Speaker 2: those bastards, Yeah, a bunch of cunts.
Speaker 5: But you're done. You don't want to even go back
Speaker 5: to the NFL? Would interesting depends nice situation, dude, you
Speaker 5: should just you should. You should start a football league
Speaker 5: in Saudi Arabia. That's what I would do that.
Speaker 2: That's what money is.
Speaker 1: I tried telling the Rock, like I tried making a
Speaker 1: video and telling the Rock I'd come to the XFL
Speaker 1: if he came on the podcast, but he didn't want
Speaker 1: to listen to you.
Speaker 2: Now it comes out they've lost millions and millions. Exactly,
Speaker 2: there you go. They probably would have made that.
Speaker 5: You know, it's one thing. You know why I pick
Speaker 5: you over the Rock. You got califlower ear, he doesn't. Exactly.
Speaker 5: I go with a guy with collie flower to fucking day. Dude,
Speaker 5: I I'll nibble your vegan ears all day.
Speaker 2: But yeah, so that that that's it's.
Speaker 5: Really like an amazing thing to be NFL players, Like
Speaker 5: it's such a small percentage of human beings that would
Speaker 5: ever do that. It's like fascinating. Like you're like, you're like,
Speaker 5: just think about the amount of people that ever lived
Speaker 5: and how hard it is to be a professional athlete
Speaker 5: in America and you both of you guys did that.
Speaker 5: Don't that like has to be But it's amazing how
Speaker 5: your brains will convince you, like like Kevin Heartspring will
Speaker 5: convince him that your guys aren't ship and that like
Speaker 5: you'll look at we're like, well I'm not Tom Brady,
Speaker 5: like Kevin hard will look at you know, somebody would
Speaker 5: be like I don't have as any specialists George Calin
Speaker 5: and Richard pirates. Isn't it fascinating? But I think that's
Speaker 5: a defense mechanism to our brains, like survive, survive, keep pushing.
Speaker 2: Motivate, imposter syndrome, all that ship.
Speaker 5: Yeah, man, you guys. Unfortunately it didn't work out long
Speaker 5: term you're now doing a podcast with me, But the
Speaker 5: on the years that it did work out, it's fucking fascinating,
Speaker 5: And that's pretty that's really really cool.
Speaker 2: Good things have to come to an end at some point.
Speaker 5: Yeah, broadcasting or something, you know.
Speaker 1: Is it really you only get you get told.
Speaker 9: With the like you know, you gotta can't say this,
Speaker 9: I have to say that, talk.
Speaker 5: About Yeah, I want to talk about my ass swartz,
Speaker 5: and I can't do that on Monday night football.
Speaker 9: Can't do that, pussies exactly know. But you give all
Speaker 9: these complements to us, do the same thing goes for you.
Speaker 9: How many people in there this earth have gotten a
Speaker 9: laugh from somebody else who could do a.
Speaker 5: Professional A lot more people than have done in the NFL.
Speaker 5: I mean what I I mean way more people. It's
Speaker 5: so much easier to get a laugh than get into
Speaker 5: the end of.
Speaker 2: I mean, you guys have fucking done crazy shit. Hey,
Speaker 2: how many comedians would you say make six figures a year?
Speaker 5: Three hundred and ninety eight? No, No, how many comedians
Speaker 5: make six figures a year?
Speaker 2: I would say six figures.
Speaker 5: Now, with podcasting and being able to monitorze on YouTube,
Speaker 5: I would say we're probably at if let's say we
Speaker 5: had one hundred thousand people doing comedy right, which is
Speaker 5: probably less than that, but just easy, I would say
Speaker 5: at least twenty thousand of them are making six figures
Speaker 5: and then I think, you.
Speaker 2: Know, twenty thousand, you think it's too high. I don't know.
Speaker 9: It depends if you're IF's let's talk strictly comedy, selling
Speaker 9: out shows, touring, doing specials.
Speaker 5: Selling out shows, touring, doing specials seems like a lot
Speaker 5: of people, but it's actually really well. Now, anybody can
Speaker 5: put out a special on YouTube, but let's just say,
Speaker 5: but selling me, let's say selling out, selling out shows,
Speaker 5: you know, comedy clubs and or theaters. That's the actual
Speaker 5: barometer because it's like whether you get on TV or
Speaker 5: have a specialist irrelevant. It's if you are selling the
Speaker 5: tickets or not, is what Matterson is the barometer kind
Speaker 5: of for us. It's like our professionals, like, if you
Speaker 5: can sell out a theater, you know, off a thousand
Speaker 5: seats and more, it's like you're doing very very well.
Speaker 5: So that that that that I think in every in
Speaker 5: any given year, honestly, truly, because it feels like a lot.
Speaker 5: But I think truly, uh, maybe like a hundred that
Speaker 5: in the whole country.
Speaker 2: Because I mean you have the Kevin Hartz and those
Speaker 2: of the world.
Speaker 5: I mean, those guys are in the Stratsgy, but really
Speaker 5: there's only like for comedians, there's only like not only
Speaker 5: there are about ten arena acts, right, you think there's
Speaker 5: so many, but it's like ten. It's like Kevin Arts
Speaker 5: and Baston men of Scalco, Nate Bargatzi now from Nashville's
Speaker 5: getting up there. You know, like there's not that many
Speaker 5: that are ber Kreischer, Thom Sigura big acts. But then
Speaker 5: it's like after that, it's like you know Andrew Schultz,
Speaker 5: but it's like already it's like there's not that many
Speaker 5: more like so, so I think there's only like a
Speaker 5: hundred that could like sell out because you think that
Speaker 5: people are bigger than there are. You think like, oh,
Speaker 5: so and so's got a movie or got a big
Speaker 5: TV show, one an Emmy, or is on SNL. And
Speaker 5: then you go you'll talk to the club or theater managers.
Speaker 5: They're like, oh, so and so is here. Last week,
Speaker 5: they didn't sell Dick. They sold like thirty percent of
Speaker 5: the room out, And so I don't know what the
Speaker 5: reasons are why that happens. There's many many different variables,
Speaker 5: but I think that selling tickets is always what my
Speaker 5: goal was is like I was like, I just got
Speaker 5: to sell to That's what gives comedians the longevity. It's
Speaker 5: like ticket sales, because the TV show can go away,
Speaker 5: the podcast can go away, but if the fans are
Speaker 5: going to come every time you come to their city,
Speaker 5: your golden dude, that's all you gotta fucking worry about
Speaker 5: is live performing. And that also is the separator, right,
Speaker 5: Like anybody can put a YouTube special that, anybody can
Speaker 5: have a TikTok. Anybody can do that, and anybody can
Speaker 5: get big doing that. But when you come, when they
Speaker 5: come to see you, and you can kill live, that's
Speaker 5: the thing. And then when they come back, the big,
Speaker 5: the biggest test is the second year. What is your
Speaker 5: new material, what is your new hour? And if you
Speaker 5: can you know, kill again, then you start to become like, Okay,
Speaker 5: now I got this shit.
Speaker 2: Anybody can you know? Everybody, we could.
Speaker 5: All write a ten killer minutes right here, and then
Speaker 5: you can just keep doing that and throw that out
Speaker 5: on TikTok and get twenty million followers and then sell
Speaker 5: out a fucking theater tour. But you can do that once.
Speaker 5: It's about the guys who can do it again and
Speaker 5: again and again. That's like the difference maker.
Speaker 9: Right, when you start a comedy, how inviting was that culture?
Speaker 2: Was it tough or was.
Speaker 5: It not inviting at all? No, not at all, especially
Speaker 5: in New York. No way, dude, they dated and that
Speaker 5: you have to The difference is when you start in
Speaker 5: New York City, Okay, you have to go through the
Speaker 5: open mic scene like you have to do in any city.
Speaker 5: The difference is the key difference is when you go
Speaker 5: through the open mic scene. In other cities, it's paid all.
Speaker 5: It's audience members. It's like people who don't know who
Speaker 5: are just going out for a show and they're like, oh,
Speaker 5: this is new joke night or this is open mic night.
Speaker 5: So it's a difference. When you go in New York,
Speaker 5: it's other comics who are in the crowd. So those
Speaker 5: other comics the last thing I want you to do
Speaker 5: a succeed because they're like, you're in my competition. Fuck you.
Speaker 5: They're also never listening to you because we're worried about
Speaker 5: writing our own jokes and get we're on stage next.
Speaker 5: And their minds are so dark that when you get
Speaker 5: a laugh, you have to question is this actually funny
Speaker 5: or did I just say something that is so disgusting
Speaker 5: that it made these psychopaths laugh so and and and
Speaker 5: also the best of the best for comedies. You know,
Speaker 5: at least when I started, it was Now it's Nashville
Speaker 5: and Chicago and La allf huge scenes, but New York
Speaker 5: was the big scene. It's like you have to cut
Speaker 5: through so many motherfuckers to get even on stage that
Speaker 5: it's like it's the ones that can make it through there,
Speaker 5: like you've almost made it like nationally then, because it's
Speaker 5: like it's a lot easier to get out of even
Speaker 5: great cities like Boston. They have great comics there, but
Speaker 5: it's easier to get through that scene because it's just
Speaker 5: so much smaller. We're in New York. You have to
Speaker 5: get through, like you might have to get through like
Speaker 5: five thousand guys to get on stage. Like it's just
Speaker 5: a it's a lot of guys. And I know, you know,
Speaker 5: I know, we all fucking we're not bat and I
Speaker 5: have five thousand guys. That'sday night for us. But when
Speaker 5: it's comedy, it's it's just it's just it's it's hard
Speaker 5: to make it out here. But that's also another reason
Speaker 5: why I don't want to leave, because I think there
Speaker 5: is something subconscious where I'm like, that's song.
Speaker 2: You know, if you can make it here, you can
Speaker 2: make it anyway.
Speaker 5: I think that it's not as prevalent as it was
Speaker 5: when he sang the song, but I still think there
Speaker 5: is something about New York where it's like the top
Speaker 5: people in every field are at least some of them
Speaker 5: are here always, and so there's a very there's a
Speaker 5: you know, it's it's the hardest path, you know, the
Speaker 5: most resistance is definitely here.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So Nate on the first time he talked about that,
Speaker 1: just the grind of being in New York.
Speaker 5: Dude, you look back at old pictures of Nate Bargazzi
Speaker 5: when he was grinding here, nobody he looked like in
Speaker 5: lesbian He literally looked like a full lesbian woman.
Speaker 2: That's what New York.
Speaker 5: I was gonna say. He went from literally looking like
Speaker 5: a full lesbian woman to like, he's like one of
Speaker 5: the most handsome men to ever do comedy because he
Speaker 5: just he he fucking well, he beat New York. He
Speaker 5: fucking eat. But it took a toll on him physically.
Speaker 5: I mean, he looked like an amish lesbian, like he
Speaker 5: had bangs. It was bizarre with Nate looked and then
Speaker 5: he came out and now is one of the biggest
Speaker 5: comics in the world and is one of the most
Speaker 5: look at Slann Pepper.
Speaker 1: Here's a gorgeous guy. Well yeah, because now he's living
Speaker 1: in a state like Tennessee exactly. He's making his way
Speaker 1: over there and getting out of New York. He's transition.
Speaker 2: But he did it right.
Speaker 5: Nate wouldn't be Nate, I don't think unless he came
Speaker 5: through the grit and grind in New York.
Speaker 2: He had to.
Speaker 9: You know, you're actually different like that when you were
Speaker 9: when you were coming up, Who were you like basing
Speaker 9: your game off of it?
Speaker 2: Bill Cosby? Nice? Yeah, I thought which game?
Speaker 5: Yes we're talking off stage on stage?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 5: Oh No, who was I basing my game up? Bill
Speaker 5: Burr and Louis c K. Bill Burr and Louis c
Speaker 5: K are the guys. When I first started, it was
Speaker 5: like everybody was like these guys because Dave Chappelle was
Speaker 5: already massive star, you know, and so I think the
Speaker 5: guys were a little bit older than me, like Dave Chappelle,
Speaker 5: but obviously Dave Chappelle legend, Chris Rock legend because you
Speaker 5: can't just say two white men.
Speaker 2: You better balance that shit out ethnically quickly.
Speaker 5: So, yeah, everybody's legends, okay, and so and so they
Speaker 5: really are the amazing comics. But for me it was
Speaker 5: Bill Burr and Luis c. K. When I watched those guys,
Speaker 5: I was like, holy shit. I remember watching Bill Burr
Speaker 5: when I was twenty one years old on his Comedy
Speaker 5: Central or HBO half hour special, being like, this guy
Speaker 5: is like I have to try to follow do what
Speaker 5: this guy's doing it because I remember at a house
Speaker 5: party and he was fucking killing. I mean, we were
Speaker 5: watching and we were like dying laughing. I was like,
Speaker 5: I gotta, I gotta get on this path. And then
Speaker 5: it took me like five years to work up the
Speaker 5: courage to start comedy. But then I'm then I did
Speaker 5: it and now and now I'm nowhere near Bill Berr.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Bilberg is a legend.
Speaker 9: What last I asked Sagura this, but like, was it
Speaker 9: ever difficult for you when you first started comedy, not
Speaker 9: sniping people shit, like taking some of their jokes or
Speaker 9: making their jokes and twisting it to make it your
Speaker 9: personality and moving forward?
Speaker 5: I think I think that so what happened was in
Speaker 5: the beginning with comedy, and I think most do this,
Speaker 5: or at least I didn't don't know most, but I
Speaker 5: did this. Is you unintentionally, or at least I unintentionally
Speaker 5: emulated somebody's energy like I but because I didn't know
Speaker 5: what to do, and I would just see somebody even
Speaker 5: though I'm not taking their jokes, it's like maybe a
Speaker 5: mannerism they would do or a technique they would have,
Speaker 5: because you just like don't know, and you're like emulating
Speaker 5: someone who's doing really well, and it's almost subconscious. And
Speaker 5: then it took one guy to tell me very I
Speaker 5: was still an open micro. He's like, hey man, you're
Speaker 5: like you're you're doing you're not taking my jokes, but
Speaker 5: you're kind of acting out my mannerisms and you're kind
Speaker 5: of stealing the essence, which is worse.
Speaker 2: And I never knew that.
Speaker 5: And then once he told me that, I was like,
Speaker 5: oh shit, I didn't even realize that. But I think
Speaker 5: what I do now is that's why from that day, again,
Speaker 5: I was two months into comedy, but from that day
Speaker 5: I was like, I'm going to tell as personal of
Speaker 5: stories as possible, Like even I'd rather be more personal
Speaker 5: and less funny, because I'm like, I know that if
Speaker 5: it actually happened to me, or actually, you know, if
Speaker 5: I take something that happened and I'm creating it in
Speaker 5: my head how I wanted the details to go. I
Speaker 5: know that I didn't take that. I didn't steal that
Speaker 5: from anyone. I'm not emulating anyone. That is my style
Speaker 5: and my comment. That's why I talk about my family
Speaker 5: so much. But I think that you know that is
Speaker 5: actually with comedy you can even be a hack. You
Speaker 5: can be a hack and have you know, do corny
Speaker 5: generic jokes like Asians are bad drivers, or jokes about
Speaker 5: airplane food. You can do that. It's it's up to you.
Speaker 5: If the audience wants to laugh, they'll laugh whatever. It's
Speaker 5: if you steal a joke, though, that is like being
Speaker 5: branded a pedophile. That is the only crime in comedy.
Speaker 5: That is the only thing. Everything else is good to go.
Speaker 5: Whether you think it's funny or not as subjective, it
Speaker 5: doesn't matter if so and so is funny and you
Speaker 5: don't think they're funny, and you'll say, well, how are
Speaker 5: they sell so many tickets? Like, well, their fans think
Speaker 5: they're funny. This is a subjective art form. Yours football
Speaker 5: is more objective. It's like, whoever scores the most points wins,
Speaker 5: that's what the game is. This is subjective art form
Speaker 5: where it's like it's up to the it's up to
Speaker 5: the fan. But if you're stealing material, that's the only
Speaker 5: thing that all of us will be like, you're out
Speaker 5: of our community forever and you'll never come back in,
Speaker 5: and you'll never be even if you do get back in,
Speaker 5: you will never be trusted in the same way. It's
Speaker 5: the only cardinal sin is stealing material. It's literally comedy pedophilia.
Speaker 1: Who do you feel like has that type of image
Speaker 1: in the comedy community that the outside world might not know?
Speaker 2: But who's who stole jokes? And who stole those who
Speaker 2: allegedly stole jokes? Like you if I say, hey, who's
Speaker 2: who's got that vibe out there?
Speaker 5: You have like like like you know, I think the
Speaker 5: most famous one and I think, actually, this guy has
Speaker 5: done a really good job of cleaning up his image
Speaker 5: and he does fucking annihilate on stage, So you can't
Speaker 5: take and with absolutely his own material.
Speaker 2: Now, But Carlos Mencia.
Speaker 5: Insurance policy was there was the first well, it's true though,
Speaker 5: because it's and it's interesting, you know, it's it's time
Speaker 5: is very interesting right to me, or like when you
Speaker 5: when you think somebody it's like I heard somebody say
Speaker 5: once like sometimes uh you're behind, sometimes you're ahead. But
Speaker 5: in the end, the game is long and and it's
Speaker 5: only with yourself. Because it's true. Because at that time,
Speaker 5: I think, what ever, it was two thousand and eight,
Speaker 5: two thousand and nine when Carlos Mencia got accused of
Speaker 5: stealing by Joe Rogan. I believe Arri Shafir was in
Speaker 5: that video. It was like a famous video and it
Speaker 5: kind of like derailed Mencia's career for a bit. The
Speaker 5: Comedy Store in Los Angeles sided with Carlos Mencia and
Speaker 5: banned Joe Rogan from the club because Joe Rogan was
Speaker 5: he was a famous comic to us fear factor in
Speaker 5: news radio, great specialists, but nobody knew Joe Rogan collectively
Speaker 5: as they know him now.
Speaker 2: They sided with him with Carlo s.
Speaker 5: Mencia and they banned Rogan, and Rogan moved to Colorado
Speaker 5: and then started Joe Rogan Experience and became Luisias.
Speaker 2: Now, so you would think and that wasn't that long ago.
Speaker 5: It was twelve thirteen years ago, but it was like, wow,
Speaker 5: the comedy community out large was valuing Carlos Mencia over
Speaker 5: Rogan and now it's all changed so much and I
Speaker 5: think everything's patched up and all good now. But it
Speaker 5: was always interesting to me. I was like, it just
Speaker 5: depends on like what time you're in the game, Like
Speaker 5: what year are we talking about? What month? It's like
Speaker 5: different things are happening to different people at different times.
Speaker 5: But he's the only one I think that on. Fortunately,
Speaker 5: if you talk to comics, he's like the synonymous name
Speaker 5: with the stealing, which I don't know is that fair
Speaker 5: anymore because he's done such a He was always a
Speaker 5: comic that crushed that. I don't think anybody would deny
Speaker 5: that absolutely crush for two hours. So it's like that's very,
Speaker 5: very extremely talented. But you know, if you rip just
Speaker 5: a few jokes, that's the thing. It's like it's not
Speaker 5: a small you think it's just a small crime, but
Speaker 5: it's a huge, Like you you can't do that. You
Speaker 5: can't because it's it's it's like the only thing that
Speaker 5: we have, you know. Now, there is one other school
Speaker 5: of thought where it's like what the stoics would say,
Speaker 5: who cares if they steal the jokes?
Speaker 2: That's not about that you did the joke. You did
Speaker 2: the good thing.
Speaker 5: Uh, you're now you getting upset that he or she
Speaker 5: stole your joke as you being obsessed with the third thing,
Speaker 5: needing all the credit, and that's your ego.
Speaker 2: Let it go. There's a there's that school of thought.
Speaker 5: But most comics don't think like that, but I do
Speaker 5: because I'm just a great person. What the fuck?
Speaker 3: Why then til four at four where we are now.
Speaker 1: Twenty one fucking piece of ship? That's sorry, this has
Speaker 1: been fucking awesome. It's been awesome.
Speaker 2: You gotta do you better? Does your wife talk more
Speaker 2: than you? Or does your girlfriend talk more to you?
Speaker 2: She doesn't speak English? All right, that's that's what I think.
Speaker 2: You like it. That's the man marry an immigrant. That's
Speaker 2: what it is. That's what I did.
Speaker 5: Is what I did is I married her from Mexico
Speaker 5: and then I put up a wall emotionally.
Speaker 2: That's the way to do it.
Speaker 9: Hey, this has been awesome, what a deal. Thank you
Speaker 9: very much coming back you awesome.
Speaker 2: Do big hugs, tiny kisses,