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Speaker 1: My parents want me to get a boob job. This

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Speaker 1: is OKAYOPI home to the craziest true stories on Earth.

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Speaker 1: I'm Sophia and Riley. Are you getting a boob job?

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Speaker 1: You know?

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Speaker 2: I've really been considering it lately. I mean, look at them.

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Speaker 1: I think I think they could be a little bit bigger. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The mosquito bites so deleted, says so throwaway. Yeah. As

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Speaker 1: the title says, I'm twenty one years old, twenty two

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Speaker 1: next month if it matters, and my parents are in

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Speaker 1: their late forties, male and female. My family is Hispanic,

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Speaker 1: and there's a very casual view of things like plastic

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Speaker 1: surgery in Latin America, with the outlook being something of

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Speaker 1: the if you can afford it, why not variety, at

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Speaker 1: least from what I've experienced. We currently live in the US,

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Speaker 1: and I've done so since I was about six. Not

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Speaker 1: one adult woman in my family has gone without some

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Speaker 1: sort of improvement something I love the get Heaven, something which,

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Speaker 1: although I can support for them, find a completely a

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Speaker 1: no go for me due to fears of surgery. Reason

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Speaker 1: in general, I have really terrible anxiety and have been

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Speaker 1: known to work myself into full panic attacks before dental procedures.

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Speaker 1: I can't honestly imagine going under any kind of knife. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: panic attacks are not fun. Have you ever had a

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Speaker 1: panic attack? I I can never remember the different I've

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Speaker 1: either had a panic attack or an anxiety attack. I

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Speaker 1: think I've had an anxiety attack. I've had slightly different. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: anxiety attacks are like you're like, what's going I don't

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Speaker 1: know how to explain the difference. I think panic attacks

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Speaker 1: are much more like free you're freaking out. Or anxiety

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Speaker 1: attacks it's like long form and your like body is

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Speaker 1: going into fight or flight and you're like, am I ill?

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Speaker 1: And then you realize that you're just extremely anxious. I

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Speaker 1: probably didn't difference, Yeah, because I think i've I think

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Speaker 1: I've had anxiety attacks. I can speak on panic attacks, though, gotcha.

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Speaker 1: I'm actually quite happy with my body. Definitely not in shape, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I'm working on it and I like the challenge.

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Speaker 1: I'm a thirty six B What does that mean in

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Speaker 1: like process? Yeah? What does it mean? Yeah? Well, it's

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Speaker 1: like the when you get your bra you're measured, it's

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Speaker 1: like the cup size, but also the band's two waist?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what does this mean compared to that it's.

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Speaker 1: Like, well, it's like the the how you know when

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Speaker 1: you measure here, So like you're thirty two, so like

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Speaker 1: here's thirty six. I think I always forget, but then

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Speaker 1: also you get it's like this, there's a couple of

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Speaker 1: different things that go into your into your bra size.

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Speaker 1: It's like the width around then also like the cup size.

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Speaker 1: So it's like different. So you can be you know,

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Speaker 1: like a bigger person with a bee or you can

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Speaker 1: be smaller person with a bigger side like a CEO

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Speaker 1: d etera. Gotcha, Okay, getting there. But yeah, anyway, so

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Speaker 1: there you go, right, education, little explanation. I probably didn't

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Speaker 1: explain it as well as other people can. I'm a

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Speaker 1: thirty six B basically my whole adult life. My parents

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Speaker 1: have hinted at me getting some form of breast enhancement

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Speaker 1: done since I was eighteen and it became clear that

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Speaker 1: my chest wasn't going to go any farther out. Essentially,

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Speaker 1: that's also not like that small, it's like an average size.

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Speaker 1: Look it up. Oh so why are you looking up?

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Speaker 2: You look it up? Oh what dude?

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Speaker 1: Totally fine? What are you talking about? Riley? What You're fine? Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's get back to the story and stop looking at

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Speaker 1: what parents are insane. They are. No, that's crazy, that's

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Speaker 1: really weird to like encourage your daughter to change her appearance.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like if you.

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Speaker 1: If you want that for yourself, go for it. You know. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's your own personal thing. But like a parent should

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Speaker 1: never be advocating for you know, that's weird. Basically, my

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Speaker 1: whole adult life, my parents have hinted at me getting

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Speaker 1: some form of breast enhancement done since I was eighteen

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Speaker 1: and it became clear that my chest wasn't going to

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Speaker 1: go any farther out. Essentially, Also, it's weird that the

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Speaker 1: dad is saying this first is starting with my mom,

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Speaker 1: who got a breastlift and a tummy tuck the summer

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Speaker 1: after I graduated high school. She commented constantly on how

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Speaker 1: happy she with her new shape, but how she should

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Speaker 1: have sprung some to have the butt raised too, how

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Speaker 1: well she was doing in recovery. When we would go

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Speaker 1: clothes shopping together, she'd walk over to the braw Racks

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Speaker 1: pick out bra she knew I would like, and then

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Speaker 1: show them to me and say thirty eight C and

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Speaker 1: say I should buy them in that size instead, since

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Speaker 1: it wouldn't be too long before you need them in

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Speaker 1: that size? Weird. I stopped shopping for clothes with my

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Speaker 1: mom around. Comments kept coming in from other sources, though,

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Speaker 1: and my cousin's recent surgery a month and a half

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Speaker 1: ago she's now a forty double deep, or will be

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Speaker 1: after the swelling goes down more, has not made it

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Speaker 1: any easier to avoid them.

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Speaker 2: What the double deer the cousin?

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Speaker 1: I think the comments. My dad isn't two phased by

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Speaker 1: the whole thing, doesn't comment on his own, but he

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Speaker 1: actually agrees with my mom when the subject comes up

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Speaker 1: during dinner, saying it will make me more attractive. That's

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Speaker 1: so weird. Why is your dad saying that that's so

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Speaker 1: weird making it easier to find flattering clothes? I don't

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Speaker 1: think I need this. I like my tiny boobs. My

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Speaker 1: Christmas gift this year from my mom was a voucher

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Speaker 1: promising to pay for the surgery and all associated costs

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Speaker 1: new bras clothes. It was crazy. I joke that I

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Speaker 1: would rather have that money as savings or into a

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Speaker 1: new car deposit. You know, useful things, not boobs.

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Speaker 2: WHOA So for Christmas, we're getting your new boobs put

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Speaker 2: some clothes. Hope you're okay with that?

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Speaker 1: That is so wildly that's wild again, Like the mom

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Speaker 1: shouldn't be saying this, but the dad definitely shouldn't be

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Speaker 1: saying this, Like why are you why are you telling

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Speaker 1: your daughter that she needs to be more attractive dykes?

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Speaker 2: Plus, it's not tiny. I wouldn't say that's.

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Speaker 1: Time, that's they're not tiny. They're really not, like that

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Speaker 1: is an average size. I don't like like I would

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Speaker 1: be like great. Also okay, Also, even even if they were,

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Speaker 1: your parents shouldn't be commenting on that anyway.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, your boobs, your life literally Okay.

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Speaker 1: It became such a point of pressure between my parents

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Speaker 1: and I that there's not one evening when that comes

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Speaker 1: up that doesn't end in all of us in separate

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Speaker 1: owners of the house, fuming. I just don't know how

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Speaker 1: to shut this down effectively. And I still have about

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Speaker 1: a year of living with them before I'm financially stable

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Speaker 1: enough to move out. We live in a high col.

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Speaker 2: Area col acronym. Let us see the cost of living.

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Speaker 1: Haha.

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Speaker 2: Wow, I just had to sit with it for a second.

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Speaker 1: For no colonial that's not right, incorrect relevant comments CLICITI

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Speaker 1: gold says, sit them down and tell them that the

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Speaker 1: topic of altering your body via cosmetic surgery is not

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Speaker 1: up for discussion and they are to stop immediately the

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Speaker 1: next time they bring it up, gently remind them. If

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Speaker 1: they don't drop it, leave the room. Continue doing this

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Speaker 1: until they stop or you move out. Opie says, you

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Speaker 1: and many toadsloth really got it. I just don't want

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Speaker 1: to continue the conversation. I did think when I told

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Speaker 1: my mom I wouldn't shop with her again if she

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Speaker 1: brought up new sizes and then followed through with the

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Speaker 1: threat would have been a wake up call. But now

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Speaker 1: I know I really need to have a serious talk

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Speaker 1: with them again. Cy here we go adulting. Malarca says,

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Speaker 1: you know useful thing to the comment you know useful things,

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Speaker 1: not boobs. I actually snorted this. Your parents pushing you

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Speaker 1: for your parents pushing for you to get bigger boobs

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Speaker 1: sounds a bit ridiculous if I'm honest. In any case,

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Speaker 1: this is a boundary issue that you must discuss with them.

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Speaker 1: Explain that you are happy with your body and that

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Speaker 1: they should be happy that you're happy. Hopefully they'll listen.

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Speaker 1: By the way, I have a bea cup as well,

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Speaker 1: and aren't they great? Haha? Good luck with all this,

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Speaker 1: Opie says. My boyfriend loves my bea cups. Isn't that funny?

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Speaker 1: How tiny boobs make me unattractive? Yet there he is

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Speaker 1: being the best he can be about My crazy family

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Speaker 1: must be blind. Yeah, I'm noticing. It's also to do

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Speaker 1: with how we spend money. I'm very pragmatic. I guess

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Speaker 1: money is a tool to my parents. Money is more

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Speaker 1: of an accessory. I most likely we'll have to talk

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Speaker 1: to them soon and there is an update.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is a very interesting scenario.

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Speaker 1: I did not know family, but I don't think it's

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Speaker 1: like I don't know if it's I don't know if we.

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Speaker 2: Can generalize generalize about h just our family.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, look, yeah, I don't know, and I don't want to.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to make.

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Speaker 2: General which sorry, but hispanic and there's a very casual

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Speaker 2: view of things like plastic surgery in Latin America. Okay,

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Speaker 2: so it's like it's like the casual view. It's like

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Speaker 2: according yeah, according to Encourage, it's just sort of like

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Speaker 2: oh you go girl, Yeah, okay, gotcha.

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Speaker 1: But no, this is Yeah, I think it's just again

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Speaker 1: totally fine if you want to do it, but like,

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Speaker 1: do not do not tell other people that, especially not

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Speaker 1: your daughter.

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Speaker 2: Wow, I feel I feel like I might get canceled

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Speaker 2: here as a man, but I'm just going to go

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Speaker 2: for it.

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Speaker 1: Would you say that her.

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Speaker 2: Family has more of a materialistic worldview.

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Speaker 1: I don't think you're going to be canceled. I would agree, Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I would. I would absolutely say that they're very superficial

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Speaker 1: if they're if they're telling their own daughter to do

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Speaker 1: this to make her more attractive, that feels very superficial.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think like to an extent, you would

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Speaker 2: be considered more attractive, but like to what type of men?

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Speaker 2: And do you want to be in relations with those

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Speaker 2: type of men that would see you as more attractive attractive?

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Speaker 1: This is very like person to person, very person to person.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I feel like if you do that, you

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Speaker 2: will attract men that are more materialistic and we'll have

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Speaker 2: a more materialistic lifestyle. While you just said here with

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Speaker 2: your money, you know, it's more of a tool. Whit

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Speaker 2: parents look at them as an accessory.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, No, it seems like they want a daughter as

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Speaker 1: an accessory. They're like, oh, we want her to be

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Speaker 1: pretty in the way that we think is pretty and

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Speaker 1: not like who she is as a person. Yikes. There

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Speaker 1: is an update, well, once I had cool down a bit.

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Speaker 1: The first post was written literally about thirty to forty

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Speaker 1: minutes after I had one of those discussions with my

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Speaker 1: mom regarding the state of the chest. I gave everything

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Speaker 1: some thought and hit the gym. Ha it was my

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Speaker 1: way and day after four months of really intense work,

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Speaker 1: and I'm glad I just and I'm glad to start

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Speaker 1: seeing noticeable, unignorable results. I came home, went to bed,

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Speaker 1: and then didn't see my parents until Monday night dinner.

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Speaker 1: That being said, I was not at all expecting the

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Speaker 1: amount of responses I got, and I'm so thankful for

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Speaker 1: each and every one of them. You guys are really

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Speaker 1: the best. Even the jokes, even the joke comments were

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Speaker 1: able to keep me laughing. So on to the meat

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Speaker 1: and potatoes. I finally had to sit down with my

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Speaker 1: mom and dad on Monday and ask them to explain

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Speaker 1: to me why they thought I needed any kind of surgery.

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Speaker 1: What came through, after much prodding and defensiveness, was actually

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Speaker 1: what I think, maybe only one or two of the

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Speaker 1: last pot was actually what I think maybe only one

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Speaker 1: or two of the last post commenters might have seen coming.

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Speaker 1: Turns out, my parents hate that I'm not dating a

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Speaker 1: man of my own country slash culture. They feel I'm

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Speaker 1: dating down or settling with my current boyfriend, and they

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Speaker 1: think I'm just not attractive to men of my race

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Speaker 1: slash culture due to my comparatively but not objectively small chest. Somehow,

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Speaker 1: in their minds they thought I would be much more

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Speaker 1: willing to dump my boyfriend. Once a ton of hot

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Speaker 1: tan Latino guys came running at my doors, I honestly

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Speaker 1: could not believe the shit they were spewing. I felt

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Speaker 1: sick like I knew they weren't thrilled with my choice

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Speaker 1: and boyfriend, but after two years, I'd hope they had

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Speaker 1: gotten over that. It was insane. I told them under

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Speaker 1: no on certain terms, that if they so much as

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Speaker 1: mentioned my tits or my boyfriend in a derogatory manner again,

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Speaker 1: I was cutting them off from my life entirely. More

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Speaker 1: yelling and cursing that needed in the summary were included,

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Speaker 1: but trust me, I pretty much let them out. Today.

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Speaker 1: I requested more hours at my current job and while

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Speaker 1: not tied into my actual college major. I only work

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Speaker 1: part time while interning at something that was in my

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Speaker 1: degree field. But now that internships ended and I will

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Speaker 1: go on to find a full time Oh, and I

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Speaker 1: will go on to full time at my current company.

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Speaker 1: The work is lucrative enough that within the next month

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Speaker 1: or so, I should be able to move out of

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Speaker 1: my parents' home. Gonna miss the cats, but I now

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Speaker 1: But now I get to try and find a studio

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Speaker 1: or something similar so I can move. Wasn't planning on

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Speaker 1: doing it till October, but March will do. And there

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Speaker 1: are some relevant comments.

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Speaker 2: Too, rapp Wow, So it's low key.

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Speaker 1: It's just yeah, they like, Yeah, I think that's a

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Speaker 1: just a weird thing to do this weird, Like they

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Speaker 1: don't want her to date outside of her culture, and

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Speaker 1: so they're willing to like make her.

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Speaker 2: More appealing to the culture they want her to be

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Speaker 2: applied of.

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Speaker 1: I just think, like any even this reason is I

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Speaker 1: don't think, I mean oviously it's a bad reason, but

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Speaker 1: it also just doesn't excuse trying to change your daughter

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Speaker 1: at all. Yeah, No, that's this is just weird. It

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Speaker 1: feels it just feels really weird to have your parents

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Speaker 1: be like you should change your appearance, like that's like

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Speaker 1: I got that from you guys, you gave that to me. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I don't like this.

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Speaker 2: I don't like this with how the parents are thinking

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Speaker 2: and approaching this and the fact that they were, like,

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Speaker 2: you're dating down, yeah, saying things like that, ooh yeah,

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Speaker 2: very just dropped water on me. It feels very materialistic.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't I don't like it. I don't like

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Speaker 1: it at all. But let's let's read these relevant comments.

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Speaker 1: So shelf life Ink says, somehow, in their minds, they

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Speaker 1: thought I would be much more willing to dump my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend once a ton of hot tan Latino guys came

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Speaker 1: running at my doors quote or the end of quote.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry I giggled a little at this. What planet

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Speaker 1: are your parents on? Rather than talk to you about

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Speaker 1: their concerns? However, misguided, sweetie, we think you'd be happier

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Speaker 1: with a man from your own culture, which is what

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Speaker 1: I was like. Obviously misguided, but like, why was their

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Speaker 1: first idea that they thought that pressuring you into extreme

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Speaker 1: elective surgery would somehow change the course of your life.

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Speaker 1: If only it were that simple. Good on you for

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Speaker 1: standing strong. Totally agree, totally agree, shell live t shirt

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Speaker 1: Attic says, plus, what kind of boyfriend slash lever would

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Speaker 1: that be? Yeah? Quote, yeah you were okay before, but

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Speaker 1: now you got tits? What does that mean?

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Speaker 2: Oral e?

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Speaker 1: You know, I feel like it's probably Spanish? What al

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Speaker 1: oral oral e? No, no, no, it is, but it's

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Speaker 1: calm oh no, okay. It's a common introduction in uh

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Speaker 1: Spanish saying. The term has varying connotations, including an affirmation

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Speaker 1: that something is impressive and agreement with a statement, or

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Speaker 1: to signify distress. So it's probably like what.

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Speaker 2: Ala oh wait wait I got you?

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Speaker 1: I got you? Orally anyway, No, I don't think it

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Speaker 1: means that. I think it's just an introjection. Yeah you

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Speaker 1: were okay before, but now you got tits? What at it?

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Speaker 1: There we go ye, which we just learned is a

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Speaker 1: common interjection Spanish. Anyway, shelf like Ink continues, Wait, yeah,

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Speaker 1: shelf life Ink says, has another comment, And just imagine

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Speaker 1: her parents plotting what's wrong with her daughter? Why is

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Speaker 1: she dating a gringo? Maybe because she likes him, don't

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Speaker 1: be stupid, it's obviously because she can't get any Dominican men.

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Speaker 1: None of them will pay attention to her with a

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Speaker 1: chest that's small. Well, I guess that's their loss. She's

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Speaker 1: a beautiful girl, but imagine how much more beautiful she'd

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Speaker 1: be with a set of melons. Once they're clamoring after

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Speaker 1: her and her knockers, she'll forget all about her gringo

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Speaker 1: and be dating the shallow men she deserves. Come on,

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Speaker 1: let's force her to change for a hypothetical boyfriend. It's

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Speaker 1: the only way she'll be happy. Yeah, yikes, yikes, el el.

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Speaker 2: Parents, el parents very strange, not not good.

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Speaker 1: Like it. I don't like it. I don't like it.

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Speaker 1: You know you like Yeah, don't don't alter yourself based

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Speaker 1: off the people's desires. If you want to do that,

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Speaker 1: that is your own decision. But don't let other people

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Speaker 1: push you into something that you don't want. And I'm

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Speaker 1: glad that you still know you stood your ground.

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Speaker 2: I feel like a long term, it's going to be

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Speaker 2: very interesting of how her family interacts with her because

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Speaker 2: she's choosing a different lifestyle than they are.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I wonder what Christmas looks like. We'll get an update

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Speaker 2: on how your last Christmas was.

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Speaker 1: Just tell why Christmas because that's where families gather oh, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: just just a next family gotcha?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: But you know what I want an update on what's that?

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Speaker 1: This next story? We got another one? Am I the

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Speaker 1: a hole for wanting the master bedroom in my own house?

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Speaker 1: This is okayop home to the craziest true stories on Earth.

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Speaker 1: I'm Sophia and Riley. You you got the master bathroom? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: How do you feel about that?

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Speaker 2: I love it because I basically live in the master bedroom.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this is the master bedroom. This is the master bedroom,

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Speaker 1: and I'm here.

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Speaker 2: For a long time, so you know, I feel like

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Speaker 2: I deserve it.

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Speaker 1: Do you do? You're here all day? So yeah, makes sense?

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Speaker 1: So efficient. AD twelve oh five says my husband twenty

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Speaker 1: six male, and I twenty six female, have freshly got

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Speaker 1: married and purchased a home last Friday. Congratulations, Oh it's exciting.

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Speaker 2: That's twenty twenty three married and home.

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Speaker 1: That's pretty crazy at twenty six. What job do you have?

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Speaker 1: You're doing great at life. We've been together for quite

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Speaker 1: some time and have a strong romantic bond with each other.

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Speaker 1: We've always had each other's backs and supported one another's choices,

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Speaker 1: although recently we've come to a disagreement that feels unsolvable.

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Speaker 1: For context, we lived together in a trailer for about

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Speaker 1: three years. My mom and my husband's mom asked if

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Speaker 1: she could move in with us. Wait in the trailer. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: in the trailer, that's what I'm asking. The current place

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Speaker 1: she was staying at was another one of her sons.

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Speaker 1: The reason she had to leave was because her son,

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Speaker 1: my brother in law, wanted to move in with his

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Speaker 1: new fiance and step children. Without hesitation, I said yes

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Speaker 1: and even had to persuade my husband to life or

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Speaker 1: move in. At the time, all I could think about

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Speaker 1: was if that was my mother asking for a place

355
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Speaker 1: to stay, I would say yes in a heartbeat. Eventually

356
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Speaker 1: she moved in and it's been pleasant having her around.

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Speaker 1: She got one side of the trailer where her room

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Speaker 1: was right next to the bathroom. Since it was just

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Speaker 1: the three of us, it became her bathroom. This fact

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00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,720
Speaker 1: never bothered me, as we always had her own private

361
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Speaker 1: bathroom in our own room. When she first moved in.

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Speaker 1: Her form of contribution towards the rent was paying for groceries.

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Speaker 1: My husband and I never expected anything from her as

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Speaker 1: she was family, so we never cared to collect anything

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Speaker 1: from her. We were just happy to be the ones

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Speaker 1: to help her with having a place to stay. As

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Speaker 1: time went on, she started asking for things that I

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Speaker 1: didn't really agree with, considering she lives with us for free.

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Speaker 1: I want to clarify that I never expected anything from her,

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Speaker 1: as it was a kind gesture of ours to invite

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Speaker 1: her into her home, although I find it odd that

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Speaker 1: she's comfortable enough to ask us to pay for her

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Speaker 1: living expenses. My mother in law doesn't work and it

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Speaker 1: won't work. I'm not sure as to the reason why,

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Speaker 1: but it appears that she's always been that way. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: If she's like living with the for other son and

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Speaker 1: then she's living with them now mm hmm. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: The people that don't work like have money, I.

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Speaker 1: Guess they just live off their family. It's yeah, strange.

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Speaker 1: My mother in law began she might have been like

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Speaker 1: a stay at home mom. Okay when she was married,

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00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,040
Speaker 1: but I think the husband might have died or something.

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Speaker 1: Where's your dad? Yeah? My mother in law began asking

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Speaker 1: my husband a sister paying for cat litter and cat

385
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Speaker 1: food since our two cats have been using our since

386
00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:25,720
Speaker 1: our two cats have been using her cat food and litter.

387
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,600
Speaker 1: When I found this out, I went out of my

388
00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:30,320
Speaker 1: way and bought a big bag of cat food so

389
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,359
Speaker 1: we could all use it. She then tells me she

390
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,640
Speaker 1: only uses one specific brand of cat food and litter

391
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,239
Speaker 1: and refuses to use the cat food I purchased. This

392
00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:40,239
Speaker 1: left me uncomfortable, although I moved past it, and now

393
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,399
Speaker 1: my husband gives her money from time to time for

394
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,240
Speaker 1: the cat expenses. Last year, my husband and I decided

395
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Speaker 1: we wanted to buy our first home and settle down.

396
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:50,159
Speaker 1: We worked hard, saved our money for a house we

397
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Speaker 1: knew we wanted our families to move in with us.

398
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Speaker 1: We needed space for our two mothers and my one

399
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,640
Speaker 1: younger brother. Wow, you move in, everyone in. We began

400
00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,439
Speaker 1: searching and going to showings, but every time time we

401
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,520
Speaker 1: go to a showing, my mother in law would always

402
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Speaker 1: seek out the master bedroom and say this is my room.

403
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:09,240
Speaker 1: No it's not. No, it's not you're not paying for that, No,

404
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:13,119
Speaker 1: that's oh, this is yikes. This left me uneasy and

405
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,680
Speaker 1: I told my husband about this, but nothing was ever

406
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,879
Speaker 1: done about her assumption of getting the master bedroom. My

407
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,680
Speaker 1: mother in law does have bathroom issues and sometimes can't

408
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:23,879
Speaker 1: hold her bowel movements, causing her to run to the

409
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:27,480
Speaker 1: bathroom at random times. Presently, I'm about six months pregnant

410
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Speaker 1: and we closed on our house last Friday. Since we

411
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,800
Speaker 1: closed in our house, it's been an emotional rollercoaster. A

412
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,800
Speaker 1: moment I thought we'd be so excited and thrilled about

413
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:39,000
Speaker 1: has turned into an anxious, depressing event. My mother in

414
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:41,200
Speaker 1: law grew upset with the idea of having to move

415
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,480
Speaker 1: and instead wanted to stay in the trailer for a

416
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,320
Speaker 1: few more days so that she could visit her other

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00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,639
Speaker 1: son one last time before she moved. I wouldn't have

418
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,359
Speaker 1: minded this, but it would have cost us another month's

419
00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:52,560
Speaker 1: rent for her to stay the few extra days. Along

420
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 1: with this, the commute from our new house to her

421
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:57,960
Speaker 1: son's house was about an hour drive. She only wanted

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00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 1: to stay in the trailer out of convenience, since it

423
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:02,600
Speaker 1: was twenty five minute drive from there. What get like

424
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,960
Speaker 1: a hotel? That's so strange. You can literally go stay

425
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,280
Speaker 1: in a hotel and not pay a month's rent. She

426
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,000
Speaker 1: probably doesn't have the funds for that though. Also, an

427
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,520
Speaker 1: hour drive is so long. This is true an our

428
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:18,280
Speaker 1: driver versus twenty five minutes. Yeah, you're basically driving an hour. Yeah.

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00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,639
Speaker 1: My mother in law then grew upset with me. She

430
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,000
Speaker 1: was anxious and annoyed with the whole move. We had

431
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,880
Speaker 1: tension built up in the house already. I'm very sensitive

432
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,000
Speaker 1: to people around me, so this just made me feel

433
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,960
Speaker 1: even worse about the whole master bedroom situation. We moved

434
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 1: in and she immediately took her stuff into the master

435
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,600
Speaker 1: bedroom without even asking if this was okay. I hate her.

436
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:39,320
Speaker 1: I hate her. Kick her out. Oh no, no, no, no, no,

437
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:39,920
Speaker 1: no no no.

438
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,200
Speaker 2: I would start like picking it up, and I would

439
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,880
Speaker 2: be like, you're not, that's not your room, putting it outside.

440
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 1: Literally no, I'd be like, ah no, no no. Granted,

441
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,440
Speaker 1: we never said anything during the showing, and I did

442
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,399
Speaker 1: go along with it, as I'm a people pleaser. No,

443
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,320
Speaker 1: you gotta tell her, you gotta tell her. But now

444
00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:58,159
Speaker 1: that we've moved in, I've realized our rooms seems smaller

445
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,400
Speaker 1: than hers, and we don't get a bathroom room where

446
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,080
Speaker 1: she does have her own private bathroom. I've made this

447
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:05,399
Speaker 1: point to my husband a few times, but he claims

448
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,080
Speaker 1: that he likes her room and says that her room

449
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:09,560
Speaker 1: is actually a foot bigger than hers is. Either way,

450
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,640
Speaker 1: I'm still bothered that she gets the master bedroom. At

451
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,359
Speaker 1: this point in time, I don't really know what I

452
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,960
Speaker 1: want anymore. I'm comfortable in my own home. I know

453
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:19,000
Speaker 1: we just moved in, and I'm sure my feelings will

454
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:21,280
Speaker 1: heal over time, although I feel that we've been taking

455
00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:23,520
Speaker 1: a taken advantage of and I feel like I'm being

456
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,360
Speaker 1: set aside. My husband seems to prioritize his mother over

457
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,560
Speaker 1: me and my needs as I am pregnant and have

458
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,800
Speaker 1: to pee almost every hour. I was going to say,

459
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:32,680
Speaker 1: like she was like, oh, my my mother in law

460
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,240
Speaker 1: can't always control our bowel movements, but she's pregnant. That

461
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 1: is like you you cannot control them sometimes I need advice.

462
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,879
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's just me overthinking and being hormonal,

463
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:43,879
Speaker 1: but at this point, I don't even want to go

464
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 1: home anymore, knowing I don't even get to choose what

465
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,199
Speaker 1: room I get to live in. Am I the a

466
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,720
Speaker 1: hole for wanting to be a priority over his mother?

467
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 2: No?

468
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 1: No, and there is some more comments, but absolutely not

469
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,480
Speaker 1: your house, your rules, you go paying for it, paying

470
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:03,800
Speaker 1: for it. She's yeah, yeah, I will say yeah, I

471
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,240
Speaker 1: will say it like it's obviously very nice that you,

472
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,359
Speaker 1: you know, when she asked, she really absolutely can be

473
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:12,080
Speaker 1: in But I'm wondering if the husband was hesitant because

474
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 1: he kind of knew how she was, and now he's like, well,

475
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:16,119
Speaker 1: we're already kind of stuck in it. So I can't

476
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 1: just like kick her out or anything.

477
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't kick her out because she so she

478
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,080
Speaker 2: what was the trailer situation?

479
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,640
Speaker 1: She won't live in the trailer. No, she was fine

480
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:26,679
Speaker 1: with living in the trailer. They were living all together

481
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,600
Speaker 1: in the trailer, and then she basically when they moved

482
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 1: to their new house, she got she wanted the master bedroom.

483
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 2: Why can't she have the trailer?

484
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,320
Speaker 1: Oh, because she can't afford it. They would have to

485
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,639
Speaker 1: keep paying rent on the trailer. No, I think I

486
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,440
Speaker 1: think she should stay in the trailer. I think she

487
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 1: should have her own place because this is Yeah, she's

488
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,360
Speaker 1: not like, what is she contributing. I understand that she's

489
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 1: like the mom I don't care soon. Yeah, yeah, I

490
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:51,280
Speaker 1: guess that's true. But they have they have Op's mom

491
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:52,920
Speaker 1: who's also living here, and the younger brother.

492
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,800
Speaker 2: Well, whenever I moved into my apartment in Tennessee, my

493
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,639
Speaker 2: room was a foot bigger than my brothers, and but

494
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,320
Speaker 2: my brothers was the master bed, so I thought it

495
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 2: was an equal trade off, he got the master closer

496
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:04,800
Speaker 2: to the bathroom.

497
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,880
Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't know, but I think I think definitely

498
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 1: if you're paying for the house, you get first pick

499
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,880
Speaker 1: relevant comments. You made your husband to let her move

500
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,679
Speaker 1: in when he knew she was like this, or you

501
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:19,040
Speaker 1: made your husband Oh oh, you made your husband let

502
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 1: her move in when he knew she was like this.

503
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:24,120
Speaker 1: To clarify, we did have a discussion before allowing her

504
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,119
Speaker 1: to move in. At the time, my husband was a

505
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:28,479
Speaker 1: huge party thrower, and his reason to not move her

506
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,680
Speaker 1: in was because the atmosphere just wouldn't be the same

507
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,120
Speaker 1: his mother would be around to lecture him kind of thing.

508
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 1: Although maybe you're right and he also knew his mother

509
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 1: was like this and just never bother to say anything

510
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,840
Speaker 1: to me about it. Is this shitty AI bought Karma farming,

511
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:44,200
Speaker 1: and then Opie says, farming for Karma. Unfortunately, this story

512
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 1: is true, and I do take responsibility for not setting boundaries.

513
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,719
Speaker 1: I never knew how to set boundaries with an elder,

514
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,879
Speaker 1: and since she was my husband's mother, I always went

515
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 1: along with her wishes out of respect. But after reading

516
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:56,680
Speaker 1: all of these comments, I've come to realize I've put

517
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 1: myself in this position now, I just have to work

518
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 1: on fixing it. Always been a lot of drama on

519
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,880
Speaker 1: my husband's side of the family. Thankfully my husband isn't

520
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 1: like that. But she has already started. But she has

521
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,479
Speaker 1: already stated she'll leave and move back in with her

522
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:11,879
Speaker 1: other son because she feels like an inconvenience what she is.

523
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,160
Speaker 1: But of course I can't say that out of respect.

524
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,920
Speaker 1: I don't want to create a toxic household or relationship

525
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,240
Speaker 1: with her. Hopefully she does move out. She does seem

526
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 1: like an intervenience although she's my husband mom. Although she

527
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 1: is my husband's mom, and her time on this earth

528
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,800
Speaker 1: is limited, so I do feel bad if she were

529
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 1: to move out. We know we would never see her

530
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,920
Speaker 1: if she moved out, and I'm sure that would hurt

531
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,399
Speaker 1: my husband's feelings if she left. I just feel torn.

532
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,879
Speaker 1: I want what I want, but it'll cause tension no

533
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,400
Speaker 1: matter what I decide. Wait, why would they never see her?

534
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,359
Speaker 1: If she moves in with the brother literally an hour away,

535
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:45,200
Speaker 1: she probably won't like she might not make it, but

536
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:46,639
Speaker 1: they can always drive to her. No.

537
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, but she would feel kicked out. Yeah, maybe she's

538
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 2: like to see you. Yeah that she's like there's no

539
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 2: reason to keep this going.

540
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's weird. I don't know. The mother seems kind

541
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 1: of a fliga drown queen. Yeah, not a fan, not

542
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,480
Speaker 1: a fan. Don't like her, don't like her one bit.

543
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,960
Speaker 1: There's an update, so maybe we'll find out if if

544
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 1: she's left or not.

545
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:09,919
Speaker 2: If she's left, I think she gets kicked out. I

546
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 2: think she might make it.

547
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 1: I think maybe. I think maybe she'll leave on her own.

548
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:17,159
Speaker 1: She'd be like, I'm being mistreated. So I'm going to

549
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:20,240
Speaker 1: my other son's house, who also asked her to move out.

550
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:21,360
Speaker 1: So I don't know how that's going to work.

551
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,920
Speaker 2: Oh she didn't have a place to stay. Yeah, why

552
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 2: can't she just like go downstairs, go downstairs and just

553
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,400
Speaker 2: or not downstairs, but just go into another room.

554
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:32,280
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I don't know. She's just very entitled. Update

555
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 1: almost three months later. I wanted to clarify something just

556
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:38,639
Speaker 1: for my sake. Yes, I did have to persuade my

557
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:40,720
Speaker 1: husband to let his mother move in, although not for

558
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 1: the reasons that most thought. My husband didn't want her

559
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:44,919
Speaker 1: moving in because we knew she would put an end

560
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 1: to his party phase of his life. We would drink

561
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 1: and smoke. Four twenty on weekends and he knew his

562
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,679
Speaker 1: mom wouldn't be okay with it. I thought that was

563
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,200
Speaker 1: an unfair reason, considering it was his mother and not

564
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:56,920
Speaker 1: someone of less importance. I also thought we could continue

565
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 1: moving freely since it was his house, not hers, although

566
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,000
Speaker 1: we had to change our way of life because of her,

567
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:04,199
Speaker 1: and we shouldn't have let her control our lives. I

568
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:07,119
Speaker 1: was raised to respect our elders. That does seem like

569
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 1: the vibe from the beginning, like Obi's like I could

570
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:12,360
Speaker 1: not imagine not taking in my mom, and even now

571
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 1: she's like, oh, she's taken in her husband's mom, her mom,

572
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,920
Speaker 1: and her younger brother. It's like very much familial connections

573
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:21,879
Speaker 1: are placed of at high end port, although now I

574
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,639
Speaker 1: know it had only allowed her to control us and

575
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:26,639
Speaker 1: the way we live. My husband and I used to

576
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:29,639
Speaker 1: leave our house and take a walk rather than enjoy

577
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 1: our smoke sessions at home like we used to. I

578
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 1: also recalled that she had complained about me smoking again

579
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 1: four twenty to my husband right in front of me,

580
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:39,160
Speaker 1: although I was drunk during that conversation, so I chose

581
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 1: to keep my mouth shut rather than defending myself. She

582
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,399
Speaker 1: complained about the smell, although mother in law is a

583
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 1: heavy cigarette smoker, and I hate the smell of cigarettes,

584
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 1: and I never complained about it, although it's okay for

585
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:51,960
Speaker 1: her to complain about me smoking in my own home.

586
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's a bit hypocritical. I was gonna say,

587
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:56,360
Speaker 1: if she wasn't a smoker, I'd be like, oh, yeah,

588
00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:58,399
Speaker 1: I get that, I am pretty sensitive to smoke, but like,

589
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 1: if she's also a smoker, I really my husband just

590
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 1: doesn't know how to handle his mom and set his

591
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,240
Speaker 1: foot down. My mother and I have a tough relationship too,

592
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:07,159
Speaker 1: but I know how to handle my mom and I've

593
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 1: set boundaries with her. My husband, on the other hand,

594
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,639
Speaker 1: has never done that with his mom. It seems to

595
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:13,639
Speaker 1: me that he was scared to set boundaries out of

596
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 1: fear of her moving out or creating family drama. Just

597
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 1: a little side note, I'm a very confrontational person. I

598
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 1: normally can speak my mind, but over time I noticed

599
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 1: my husband walks on eggshells with her, so I naturally

600
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 1: did the same. I have no reason why, maybe pity.

601
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:29,439
Speaker 1: I'm not sure why I changed that part of myself

602
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 1: for her. Anyway, I still don't regret my decision to

603
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 1: persuade my husband to let her move in because I

604
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 1: did get to know her on a personal level, and

605
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 1: as nice as she is now, I also know how

606
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,720
Speaker 1: she can be and how my husband handles it. Yeah,

607
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 1: things happen for a reason, and honestly, I'm glad all

608
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 1: this occurred before our baby arrived.

609
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 2: How much more entheddlement would she be or have? How

610
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 2: much more time would she have when the baby comes?

611
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,640
Speaker 2: Because honestly, if I was in the scenario, I would

612
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:57,639
Speaker 2: expect my mom to help out with the baby and

613
00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:58,960
Speaker 2: be like, Hey, could you help up with the baby?

614
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:00,520
Speaker 2: Do this through that? How do you think she would

615
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:01,159
Speaker 2: respond to that?

616
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:02,760
Speaker 1: I don't know. She might be like, oh, I want

617
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:04,800
Speaker 1: my own time or something. I'm hoping not. I'm hoping

618
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:06,879
Speaker 1: that she like steps up and she takes helps take

619
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:10,639
Speaker 1: care of the baby. But yay baby bubby baby fever. Oh,

620
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,440
Speaker 1: he says. So for the actual update, so that was

621
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 1: all precursor. I spoke to my husband and told him

622
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 1: I needed him to be more supportive on the matter,

623
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,359
Speaker 1: which he kept saying that this situation was all on me.

624
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 1: What fack, that's your mom. It was hard to get

625
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 1: through to him, and I feel like I never did Eventually,

626
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:27,439
Speaker 1: he did speak to his mom and convince her to

627
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 1: move out of the master bedroom, and boy did things

628
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:36,440
Speaker 1: get worse. No, Oh, she's not going to take too

629
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: kindly to that. She could be upset.

630
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 2: Yikes.

631
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 1: I'm not excited to find out what happens. His mom

632
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 1: immediately complained about me to my husband. I was impresent

633
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 1: for this. My husband told me about it afterward. She

634
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 1: said something along the lines that I'm being too much.

635
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 1: My husband had told her to knock it off, and

636
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:56,680
Speaker 1: that we were both being too much. You're saying your

637
00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 1: wife was being too much, your pregnant wife.

638
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:00,880
Speaker 2: She could be as much as she needs. Yeah, uh,

639
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:02,520
Speaker 2: let her be. I don't like that.

640
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 1: I was offended by this, but didn't say anything because

641
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 1: I'm sure he said that just to soften the blow,

642
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 1: rather than telling her she's the real problem. So I thought, oh,

643
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,920
Speaker 1: I'm getting red flags from this husband.

644
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, wait wait.

645
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: Because she said oh, I thought he was just saying

646
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 1: that we were both being too much to soften the

647
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:22,800
Speaker 1: blow to the mother. And but then she says, so I.

648
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 2: Thought, oh, I'm it's probably the boundary thing.

649
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 1: Yeah. After we got the room, a mother in law

650
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 1: became very petty. I'm already hormonal and going through so

651
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 1: many bodily changes that I just couldn't handle her attitude.

652
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 1: She would ignore me and avoid conversation with me. She

653
00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 1: made me feel unwelcome in my own home. This carried

654
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:41,880
Speaker 1: on for a day or so. I told my husband

655
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:43,959
Speaker 1: how this made me feel, but he chose to do

656
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 1: nothing about it. I was already not feeling all right emotionally,

657
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 1: and to be set aside like that made me feel

658
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 1: like I was worthless. I was tired of feeling that way.

659
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 1: One morning, on our way to work, I told my

660
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 1: husband that he needed to do something about it. He

661
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 1: continued to say that he didn't know what to do,

662
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:00,200
Speaker 1: so I told him I'm ready to get or the

663
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 1: option of cleaning up her attitude or moving out. My

664
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 1: husband lost it. He quickly got upset with me and

665
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,400
Speaker 1: yelled at me, saying that that was mean, as if

666
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,960
Speaker 1: his mother wasn't already mistreated to me. He quickly got

667
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 1: upset with me and yelled at me, saying that was mean,

668
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 1: as if his mother wasn't already mistreating me already. He

669
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 1: even went as far as saying he regretted buying the house. Yike,

670
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 1: I mean big red flags.

671
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 2: Yeah I could. I could see why he would say that, because.

672
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 1: He's like, oh, it's causing so much drauma. But like,

673
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:31,520
Speaker 1: it's because you're not setting boundaries with your mom. She

674
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 1: shouldn't be like, yeah, no, this is your pregnant wife.

675
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 1: You should be, you know, taking more care of her.

676
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,520
Speaker 1: We didn't see eye to eye on the matter, and

677
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 1: with all the common cis post got, I snapped back

678
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: to reality. So thank you. I don't want to raise

679
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 1: a child in a home where I have to cater

680
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,720
Speaker 1: to mother in law and tiptoe around my husband. The

681
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 1: fact that my husband was just okay without his mother,

682
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,360
Speaker 1: The fact that my husband was just okay without his

683
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 1: mother was treating me and didn't want to fix things

684
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 1: just didn't sit with me. And it became clear to

685
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 1: me that my feelings just don't matter as long as

686
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 1: his mother in law was okay. So I told him

687
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,800
Speaker 1: I wasn't coming back home. I was done with the

688
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 1: whole thing. I was sad that things didn't play out

689
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,720
Speaker 1: how I anticipated, but I knew that I always had

690
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 1: my own family to fall back on and support me.

691
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 1: So she's breaking up with him, Yeah, I think I

692
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 1: think without being around the bush. I think she's getting divorced.

693
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:23,680
Speaker 1: We argued a lot around this topic, and eventually he

694
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:26,960
Speaker 1: communicated with his mom about it, Thank goodness. Yeah, finally

695
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,520
Speaker 1: his mom then sent me a message saying I'm sorry

696
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 1: you're unhappy. No, it's so manipulated ah and didn't take

697
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 1: accountability for anything. So I exploded her message did say more,

698
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 1: but it wasn't enough. Her message only made me feel worse.

699
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 1: I wish I had kept the message to include everything

700
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 1: she had said here, but I deleted it because it

701
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 1: was haunting me. I wrote her back with a very

702
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 1: long message explaining my feelings to her, and I even

703
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:57,160
Speaker 1: called her entitled what she was. She lives off of

704
00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 1: us and expects and expects more out of us. Mother

705
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 1: in law literally takes money out of my husband's pocket.

706
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:06,560
Speaker 1: Meanwhile she lived with us for free. Anyways, she didn't

707
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 1: like my honesty and moved out that same day. She

708
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 1: never wrote to me again and I never saw her again.

709
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 1: But the trauma doesn't end there, so okay, I never

710
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:15,560
Speaker 1: saw her again.

711
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 2: Real quick, so husband's not confronting the mom. He did once,

712
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,800
Speaker 2: but then got onto his wife. Wife's like I'm leaving yeah,

713
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,440
Speaker 2: and then husband's like, I'll finally talk to her, talks

714
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:26,880
Speaker 2: to her.

715
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 1: Mom's like, gives her a petty yeah, sorry, you're unhappy.

716
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 2: Sorry unhappy. It makes her just manipulating her, telling her

717
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 2: she's a problem. And now mother in law is gone.

718
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:41,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, moved out that same day. Yeah.

719
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 2: Wow, oh this is not very very tricky. It is messy,

720
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 2: very messy. Yeah, it's just it's very interesting that everything

721
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 2: was going really well in the trailer until now.

722
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, how stuff.

723
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:56,480
Speaker 2: But then when something like this happens, she reflects back

724
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 2: on what was happening in the trailer and saw some things,

725
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 2: but like, yeah, what why the new house? Why are

726
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 2: we doing all this in the new house.

727
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 1: I yeah, don't bring that energy into the new house. Exactly,

728
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 1: leave it in the trailer. Leave it in the trailer.

729
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 1: You should have left the mother in law in the trailer.

730
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 2: Bring the vibes from the trailer to the new house.

731
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:16,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, do that. That's true. All this was just messy, messy.

732
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:18,120
Speaker 2: Miss She was like, oh, there's so much more room here.

733
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 2: I need to make up more emotions to put in

734
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 2: this house.

735
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, to fill it up.

736
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:24,840
Speaker 2: I did have an ant trash can. I was like,

737
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:26,440
Speaker 2: I need to put more trash in it because I'm

738
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:26,960
Speaker 2: not using it.

739
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 1: Is that weird?

740
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, that's how my mother in law was thinking

741
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:31,640
Speaker 2: about the house.

742
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:35,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, interesting, she needs to put more trash in. My

743
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 1: husband was upset with me. Uh, he treated me differently.

744
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 1: Our relationship wasn't the same. Afterwards, I was told I

745
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,040
Speaker 1: was harsh and that it wasn't my place to say

746
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 1: those things. I even got told that I made her

747
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 1: so upset that she cried again. This was him prioritizing

748
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 1: his mother over me. I tried to reason with him

749
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:55,200
Speaker 1: and communicate my feelings, but that didn't get me anywhere,

750
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:57,920
Speaker 1: so we got a couple therapist. The therapist suggested that

751
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 1: my husband should arrange a meeting between mother in law

752
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 1: and I to talk things out. This never happened. At first,

753
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,320
Speaker 1: he disagreed and said that it would make things worse.

754
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:08,840
Speaker 1: You disagreed with the therapist. I pushed for a meeting.

755
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 1: I was told that she was going to come up

756
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:13,560
Speaker 1: and visit us one weekend. Well, that never occurred. I

757
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 1: followed up with my husband and was told that she

758
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 1: was too busy to come up, which is complete bs

759
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:20,239
Speaker 1: because out of the three years she lived with us,

760
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:22,560
Speaker 1: she never left the house. I was about to say,

761
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 1: what was she too busy with? She doesn't have a job. Yeah,

762
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 1: I'm open too busy moping. All she ever did was

763
00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:31,920
Speaker 1: stay in her room and do things like coloring books

764
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:36,560
Speaker 1: or playing games on her switch console. Dope, wait, the

765
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,000
Speaker 1: mother in law's just playing on her switch. That's like,

766
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 1: oh my god, that's hilarious. I was disgusted with the

767
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:46,239
Speaker 1: pettybs that I was being fed by my husband. My

768
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:49,360
Speaker 1: husband was naive and just believed his mother was too busy.

769
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:51,719
Speaker 1: I took this as I'm not worth her time. She

770
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,040
Speaker 1: couldn't be bothered to take a step and try to

771
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:57,120
Speaker 1: mend our relationship. I pushed and pushed about this meeting,

772
00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 1: and eventually my husband said we had to meet mother

773
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 1: in law at his brother's house. During this time, my

774
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 1: husband tells me that mother in law feels that I

775
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 1: planned this whole thing and that it was for me

776
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 1: what she literally let like. Opie was the one who said,

777
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 1: like the mother in law can move in. So I

778
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 1: don't know why she's socked. Yes, after everything I've done

779
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,400
Speaker 1: for this woman to make sure she was happy and comfortable,

780
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:21,319
Speaker 1: preparing meals for her and buying her things things she

781
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 1: never asked for, but I knew she needed I do

782
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 1: it out of generosity. I just felt taken for granted

783
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:29,840
Speaker 1: all this because she didn't get the master bedroom. What

784
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:30,400
Speaker 1: a joke.

785
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 2: No.

786
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 1: I showed my husband this Reddit post in hopes that

787
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,919
Speaker 1: maybe all these comments would make him realize his mom

788
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 1: was an ungrateful leech. But it didn't. Our relationship wasn't

789
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:43,560
Speaker 1: the same. The holidays weren't the same. We became distant,

790
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 1: and honestly, I was ready for a separation. We lived

791
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,759
Speaker 1: our lives together, but we felt distant. We quickly felt

792
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:53,319
Speaker 1: like roommates Yaya. We argued all the time about the

793
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,920
Speaker 1: same topic on how his mother treated me. I felt

794
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,319
Speaker 1: like a broken record. Eventually, I just knew I was

795
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:00,239
Speaker 1: never going to get through to him, so I gave

796
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 1: up and was mentally preparing for a separation to happen.

797
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:06,280
Speaker 1: This wasn't the life I wanted for my baby and I. Oh,

798
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:08,359
Speaker 1: this wasn't the life I wanted for my baby and I.

799
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 1: But I wasn't going to sit around and stay with

800
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 1: a man who wasn't happy with my company. I'm not

801
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 1: sure if my husband realized this, but out of nowhere,

802
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 1: my husband just flipped he turned a new leaf. It

803
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 1: was strange. Oh wait, he's totally switched out. Way he

804
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 1: totally switched on. What that's so strange? What that is strange?

805
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 1: As he says, he apologized to me and said that

806
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 1: he didn't handle the situation the way he should have.

807
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he's totally flipping up. What flipping the switch?

808
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 2: I thought this was just going downhill, like you have

809
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:38,040
Speaker 2: to crash. I know.

810
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,319
Speaker 1: He was like, I'm about to freaking separate with him,

811
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:43,040
Speaker 1: and then he turns a new leaf.

812
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 2: Like the car has crashed, is about to blow up? Yeah,

813
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,360
Speaker 2: and he got a hot.

814
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:52,319
Speaker 1: Way. Wait. I was shocked by this and almost didn't

815
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 1: believe his apology. Oh. I felt like he apologized more

816
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:58,840
Speaker 1: so so that we could move on from the situation

817
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,759
Speaker 1: and continue our life. I've mentioned this to him and

818
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:06,200
Speaker 1: he said he was truly sorry for not being more supportive. Wow,

819
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:11,120
Speaker 1: I'm so happy. What Since then, our marriage has gotten better.

820
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:13,759
Speaker 1: I do feel a peace between him and I. Our

821
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 1: home is quite peaceful now that mother in law is gone.

822
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 1: Quite frankly, things have changed for the better. Now that

823
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,760
Speaker 1: she's gone. I feel like a weight has been lifted

824
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:23,400
Speaker 1: off my chest and we can breathe freely in our

825
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 1: own home. As for mother in law, I still haven't

826
00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:28,560
Speaker 1: seen or spoken to her since she moved out. At

827
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,440
Speaker 1: this point, I don't care to ever communicate with her again.

828
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:34,360
Speaker 1: She got in between my marriage and has no intention

829
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 1: of repairing our relationship between mother in law and her.

830
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:38,799
Speaker 1: She chose to tell my husband things that were never

831
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:40,920
Speaker 1: the case. My husband and I kept her in mind

832
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:43,319
Speaker 1: when buying our house, so for her to tell my

833
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:45,799
Speaker 1: husband that I set the situation up to make her

834
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:48,680
Speaker 1: move out was insane to me. I've cut her out

835
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:50,759
Speaker 1: of my life and I never want to put up

836
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 1: with her childish nonsense again. Our family isn't the one

837
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,360
Speaker 1: I imagined, but I've come to terms with it. No

838
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 1: family is perfect, although I've learned from this whole thing

839
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:02,600
Speaker 1: and I'm not put up with anyone's shit. Thanks again

840
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 1: for the reality check. Wow, that was such. That was

841
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 1: such a turn. I was like on the road towards

842
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:12,880
Speaker 1: you know, like, yes, she should divorce, separate, get rid

843
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:13,399
Speaker 1: of this man.

844
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 2: And then he totally I wonder if like like he

845
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:20,920
Speaker 2: was like sitting there like I'm about to have a kid, yeah,

846
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:22,960
Speaker 2: and this is happening with my family right now. I

847
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 2: got to be a man. I gotta like step up.

848
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 1: I got to step up for my wife and child. Wow,

849
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:31,920
Speaker 1: because that was congrast. I'm really I'm very happy. You know,

850
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:34,200
Speaker 1: we don't get these redit stories a lot where people

851
00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:37,799
Speaker 1: actually recognize their their mistakes, but props kudos to you

852
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:41,840
Speaker 1: for for for recognizing it and repairing your relationship. I'm

853
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 1: very happy for you. Me too, Me too. Canding to

854
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,879
Speaker 1: this mother in law episode.

855
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, let's go. We still have more to have, sure,