1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:07,400 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:11,440 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEFM dot com and 4 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:14,400 Speaker 1: click on submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your 5 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like this one. We're 6 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,120 Speaker 1: going to read right here, right now. You never know. 7 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,320 Speaker 1: It could be yours. 8 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,480 Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight. 9 00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:24,400 Speaker 2: We got it for you here. 10 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: It is Strawberry Letter. Thank your nephew's subject. Figure it 11 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:31,680 Speaker 1: out or get out. Dear Stephen Shirley, my boyfriend and 12 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:33,879 Speaker 1: I have been together eight years and he asked me 13 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:37,600 Speaker 1: to marry him last month. I've acted like a wife, mother, banker, 14 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 1: and counselor to this man, and he does not appreciate me. 15 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:44,280 Speaker 1: We looked at rings for years and he knew exactly 16 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,080 Speaker 1: which engagement ring I wanted, but he got the ring 17 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,280 Speaker 1: he wanted to get me. It's a huge ring, maybe 18 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 1: two carrots with a baby bluestone because he attended the 19 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,400 Speaker 1: University of North Carolina for a year and baby blue 20 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: is his favorite color. I was more mortified by the ring, 21 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,440 Speaker 1: and I cried myself to sleep. I don't even have 22 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:08,399 Speaker 1: a sweet romantic story to describe how he proposed. We 23 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:10,880 Speaker 1: had just had a quickie and he kept telling me 24 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:13,760 Speaker 1: how much he loved me. Then he popped his pinky 25 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,320 Speaker 1: finger in my face, up in my face, and the 26 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,840 Speaker 1: ring was on it. He didn't bother to put his 27 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:21,560 Speaker 1: clothes back on first, or get on one knee beside 28 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:24,120 Speaker 1: the bed. Then he tried to take pictures of me 29 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 1: with the ring on, and I was wearing my bonnet. 30 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:29,959 Speaker 1: I said yes to his proposal, but the next day 31 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:33,360 Speaker 1: I started a fight on purpose so I could ignore him. 32 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 1: He called my mother to whine to her, but she 33 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 1: unleashed on him and told him all the things I 34 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:41,959 Speaker 1: had told her. He came home that day and said 35 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 1: I ruined a perfect night because I'm ungrateful, And he 36 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,920 Speaker 1: said if I didn't want to marry him, just say it. 37 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 1: Then he yelled figure it out or get out and 38 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,440 Speaker 1: went to bed. The apartment is in my name, and 39 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,240 Speaker 1: I pay the rent. He pays the utilities and our 40 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 1: phone bills, so it was mighty bold of him to 41 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,720 Speaker 1: tell me to get out. Should I leave and let 42 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 1: him figure it out for a while, or do I 43 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 1: give this some time and work on mending our relationship. 44 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 1: This is not a way to start off a marriage. 45 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,120 Speaker 1: This is no kind of way to do that. I 46 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,280 Speaker 1: just I think it's good that it came out now, 47 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,880 Speaker 1: because yelling at your fiance and telling her to fix 48 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:24,120 Speaker 1: it or get out, figure it or get out is 49 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,920 Speaker 1: definitely not cool. Who is this guy that you've spent 50 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 1: eight years of your life with? Does he have these 51 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 1: outbursts often? That's a red flag if you ask me, 52 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:36,120 Speaker 1: he's telling you to get out of a place you're 53 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 1: paying for. How is that what he should be doing. 54 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:46,920 Speaker 1: I just don't understand that. No, this guy, your guy 55 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:51,520 Speaker 1: is wrong on that. It's your ring. He wants you 56 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,799 Speaker 1: to have what he wants you to have rather than 57 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,919 Speaker 1: what you want. Baby blue is his favorite color. Again, 58 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,919 Speaker 1: this is your ring. He didn't give you a proper proposal, 59 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,520 Speaker 1: the one that you you know, could brag about and 60 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 1: dream about, and then he called you ungrateful because you 61 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:09,119 Speaker 1: didn't like the ring. He knew what type of ring 62 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,280 Speaker 1: you wanted. You said, you guys have been ring shopping 63 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:14,680 Speaker 1: for years, but he ignored that. He's the one who's ungrateful. 64 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 1: You said, you've been his wife, mother, counselor banker for 65 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,239 Speaker 1: eight years and he doesn't appreciate you getting you the 66 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:23,960 Speaker 1: ring that you want. It should have been a no 67 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:27,639 Speaker 1: brainer after all that. Well, I don't know. Don't think 68 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 1: that this marriage is going to fix any of this 69 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,639 Speaker 1: because it's not. Look at how he talks to you now, 70 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 1: it'll be more of the same, or it could be 71 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,760 Speaker 1: worse after he does put a ring on it and 72 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 1: you guys get married. Just because you've been with some 73 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 1: for eight years, it does not mean you have to 74 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 1: marry them. So please don't go into a lifelong commitment 75 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,440 Speaker 1: with all of this. You guys aren't ready. You gotta yeah, 76 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: you guys aren't ready for this. 77 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:56,800 Speaker 2: Steve Lord her Mercy Boy, you know, sometime I just 78 00:03:56,840 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 2: can't fix some of these dudes. You know, I've been 79 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 2: trying to help dudes. But man, dog, come on, now 80 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:09,600 Speaker 2: here's a problem. Y'all been together eight years and he 81 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:14,000 Speaker 2: asked you to marry him last month. Ain't no problem. Good. 82 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 2: The time is in it now. You have been everything 83 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 2: you said, wife, mother, banker, counselor, and he just don't 84 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 2: appreciate you. Well, it took you eight years and figure 85 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:29,640 Speaker 2: this out, but he keeps on proving it now we 86 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 2: have looked at rings for years, and he knew exactly 87 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:39,280 Speaker 2: the engagement ring you wanted, but he got the ring 88 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 2: he wanted to get me. This is so crazy. Right here, 89 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 2: this right here makes no damn sense. It's a huge 90 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:52,960 Speaker 2: maybe two carriage with a baby blue stone because he 91 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:57,320 Speaker 2: attended the University of North Carolina for one year and 92 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,599 Speaker 2: baby blew his favorite coach. So he went to college 93 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:04,239 Speaker 2: because colors. That what you're telling me. Damn sure didn't 94 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:06,320 Speaker 2: go down there to get a degree. He went down 95 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 2: there because he like baby blue, Carolina blue. So that's 96 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:16,600 Speaker 2: the ring he got you. I was mortified by the ring, 97 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:21,840 Speaker 2: and I cried myself to sleep. First of all, bruh, 98 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,920 Speaker 2: that ring is really an important step in both of 99 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:30,359 Speaker 2: your lives. But if this woman has told you the 100 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:34,200 Speaker 2: exact one she wanted and you went and bought the 101 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:42,840 Speaker 2: one you wanted, you, sir, are just stupid. That's the 102 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 2: dumbest thing you could have done. You turned what could 103 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:51,119 Speaker 2: have been a happy woman into a woman who cried 104 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:55,000 Speaker 2: herself to sleep. Then she said, I don't even have 105 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 2: a sweet romantic story to describe how he proposed we 106 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:02,400 Speaker 2: had just had a quickie. He kept telling me how 107 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:05,400 Speaker 2: much he loved me. Then he popped his pinky finger 108 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,280 Speaker 2: up in my face and the ring was on it. 109 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:12,480 Speaker 2: He didn't bother put his clothes back on first, he 110 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:16,360 Speaker 2: didn't get on one knee beside the bed. Then he 111 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:18,599 Speaker 2: wanted to take pictures with you with the ring on, 112 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 2: and you was wearing your bonnet. Lord Hens, let me 113 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:33,240 Speaker 2: just stop that to Exdale right there. You know, really, 114 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 2: there's no way I can help this guy. Hang on, 115 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 2: we'll be back. 116 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:42,159 Speaker 1: Hang up. Part two of Steem's response is coming up 117 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,880 Speaker 1: at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's strawberry letter 118 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:48,240 Speaker 1: subject figure it out or get out. We'll get back 119 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:54,120 Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening Morning show. All right, 120 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject 121 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:58,720 Speaker 1: figure it out or get out. 122 00:06:59,839 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 2: This lady been dating this man eight years. He asked 123 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 2: him to marry him. Now they had been looking for 124 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:11,600 Speaker 2: rings over the years and knew exactly what she wanted. 125 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 2: But this is what this food did. He got the 126 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:18,280 Speaker 2: ring he wanted. It's a huge ring. It could be 127 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:21,320 Speaker 2: two cats, baby Bluestone because he attended the University of 128 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 2: North Carolina for one year and baby blue is his 129 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:31,800 Speaker 2: favorite color. He's so stupid. I was mortified by the 130 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 2: ring and cried myself to sleep. Then she said, I 131 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 2: ain't even got a sweet romantic story to describe how 132 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 2: he proposed. We had just had a quickie. He kept 133 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:43,600 Speaker 2: telling me how much he loved me. Then he popped 134 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 2: his pinky finger up in my face and the ring 135 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,680 Speaker 2: was on it. He ain't bothered to put his clothes 136 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:54,440 Speaker 2: back on. First, get on one knee beside the bed. 137 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 2: Then he tried to take pictures of me with the 138 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 2: ring on. I was wearing my bonnet. I said yes 139 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 2: to proposal, but the next day I started a fight 140 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:07,680 Speaker 2: on purpose so I could ignore him. He's sleeping. All 141 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,840 Speaker 2: you had to do was get this girl a ring 142 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:13,880 Speaker 2: she wanted. What better way to make a woman happy 143 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 2: than to give her what she won't, not what you won't. 144 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:23,400 Speaker 2: It's simple, Damn dug That ain't even hard. It takes 145 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:27,720 Speaker 2: the guess work out if my girls say what she 146 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 2: really really won't for Christmas? And I got it to 147 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,720 Speaker 2: get her, But I go get her something else. Who 148 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:41,559 Speaker 2: the fool here? You? It ain't about no, she not ungrateful. 149 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,120 Speaker 2: She gonna act like she' grateful but she told me 150 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 2: this could have been the perfect gift for Ooh. Now 151 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:51,240 Speaker 2: you went and did what your dumb ass wanted to do. 152 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:54,000 Speaker 2: You went to North Carolina for one year. You ain't 153 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:59,040 Speaker 2: even graduate. You went to college because you like powder Blue, 154 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,319 Speaker 2: you know, took your ass down to North Carolina and 155 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,480 Speaker 2: took your mama their money down there because you're stupid 156 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:12,200 Speaker 2: behind like powder Blue, I beat damn. Then this food 157 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 2: called his mother to wine the herb, but the mama 158 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,640 Speaker 2: unleashed on him and told him all the things I 159 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:19,760 Speaker 2: told her. He came home that day and said, I 160 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:25,360 Speaker 2: ruined a perfect knight because I'm ungrateful. Wait a minute, dog, 161 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 2: let me read this perfect night back to you. You 162 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:35,199 Speaker 2: grabbed your girl with a bonnet on, performed a quickie 163 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:39,760 Speaker 2: while y'all was laying there. You pulled the ring out 164 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 2: on your damn baby flanger, stuck it in her face. 165 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 2: The ring she did not want, but the one you 166 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,040 Speaker 2: wanted cause you took your dumb ass to call it 167 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,720 Speaker 2: for one year. What the hell you need a memory 168 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:56,719 Speaker 2: for that, folk? And then you stuck it in her 169 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:00,520 Speaker 2: face and asked her to marry you. You you didn't 170 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:03,760 Speaker 2: put your clothes on you didn't get on one knee. 171 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 2: You didn't get this girl a romantic story to report. 172 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 2: She can't tell nobody how it happened, and she cried 173 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:13,600 Speaker 2: herself to sleep at night. And then your ass came 174 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 2: in and said, you ruined a perfect night because I'm ungrateful. 175 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 2: She didn't ruin a perfect night because she was ungrateful. 176 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 2: You ruined the night because you didn't get her what 177 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 2: she wanted. You did what you wanted to do. You 178 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,880 Speaker 2: ruined the night because you took what could have been 179 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:33,560 Speaker 2: a special occasion and turned it into a moment that 180 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 2: ain't worth telling no damn about it. So how did 181 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:38,360 Speaker 2: he propose to you? Where we had a quick at 182 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,319 Speaker 2: having bonnet on? He rolled over and struck his other 183 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:40,640 Speaker 2: en and. 184 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:44,520 Speaker 1: Ring, oh my god, that's terrible. 185 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:48,200 Speaker 2: You hear what that sounded like? Yeah, so there we go, man. 186 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:52,080 Speaker 2: Then he yelled, okay, it got home. Told you you 187 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,160 Speaker 2: was ungrateful. Then he said, if I don't want to 188 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:57,440 Speaker 2: marry him, just say it. Then he yelled figure it 189 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:01,199 Speaker 2: out or get out, and he went to be well, 190 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:05,480 Speaker 2: the apartment is in her name. How stupid is this dude? 191 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:09,040 Speaker 2: You know I would have at least ran through my mind. 192 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 2: Who house is this boy? Tell him to get out? 193 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:16,719 Speaker 2: How I said to myself, Okay, I got some things 194 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:24,320 Speaker 2: over here. Should I sign the least? Okay, so I'm 195 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 2: fit to tell her to get out her house. Yeah, 196 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:34,559 Speaker 2: that's what I'm gonna do. Figure it out or get out? Yeah, 197 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,640 Speaker 2: and then went to bed. Like I told her. The 198 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:40,440 Speaker 2: apartment is in my name. I paid the rent, he 199 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:45,000 Speaker 2: paid the utilities and the phone bills. So it was 200 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 2: mighty bolding him to tell me to get out. Should 201 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 2: I leave and let him figure it out for a while? 202 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,000 Speaker 2: Or do I give this some time and work on 203 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,800 Speaker 2: mending our relationship? Lady, you're not fit to do nothing, 204 00:11:56,480 --> 00:12:00,439 Speaker 2: because listen to the options you said. You said, should 205 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:03,720 Speaker 2: I leave and let him figure it out for a while, 206 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:09,400 Speaker 2: or do I give this some time and work on 207 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:14,439 Speaker 2: mending our relationship. That's the same thing. If all you're 208 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:16,440 Speaker 2: gonna do is leave to let him figure it out 209 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:19,280 Speaker 2: for a while, I don't know what the timeframe is 210 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,800 Speaker 2: you're gonna have it, or do I give his sometime 211 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:28,120 Speaker 2: and work on mending our relationship. You're not gonna go anywhere. 212 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:32,160 Speaker 2: You've accepted the garbage that your dumb ass boyfriend been 213 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:35,319 Speaker 2: putting out for eight years with this dumb ass proposal, 214 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:38,080 Speaker 2: and you sit up here with this big uglass rain 215 00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:41,199 Speaker 2: and now you said, cook an ugly ass picture with 216 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:46,200 Speaker 2: your bonnet on your damn proposal picture. Gotta bonnet on 217 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:49,240 Speaker 2: your damn head. Nickoln told y'all about these damn bodies. 218 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:53,360 Speaker 2: What kind of ring? Big uglass? 219 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:03,760 Speaker 1: All right? Man? Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter 220 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,400 Speaker 1: on Instagram. It's Steve Harvey FM, and check out the 221 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:10,720 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. Coming up next, 222 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:12,960 Speaker 1: it is Tommy and for Junior. 223 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:13,520 Speaker 2: With Sports Talk. 224 00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening Harvey Morning Show