1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:07,240 Speaker 1: We're ready, all right, let's buggle hold on tight. We 2 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:11,080 Speaker 1: got it for you. It's a strawberry letter subject thanks 3 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:14,520 Speaker 1: for having a child for my man, Dear Stephen Shirley. 4 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,960 Speaker 1: Let's just get right to it. Here's my dilemma. I'm 5 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,640 Speaker 1: a thirty eight year old woman and I've never wanted 6 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 1: to have children. Five years ago, I was in a 7 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: great relationship and we were talking about getting married. But 8 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:29,640 Speaker 1: he wanted children and I did not, so we mutually 9 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: decided to end our relationship. We could not deny that 10 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,320 Speaker 1: we were still in love with each other, so two 11 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,680 Speaker 1: years after we broke up, we reconnected and have been 12 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 1: seeing each other off and on since then. While we've 13 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:46,239 Speaker 1: been spending time together, he started a relationship with a 14 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:49,520 Speaker 1: new woman and they had a child together, and he 15 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:52,960 Speaker 1: couldn't be happier. He has told me that he wants 16 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,080 Speaker 1: to marry the woman so that his child will have 17 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 1: the kind of upbringing he had with both parents present. 18 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 1: I truly believe now that he has a son he wanted, 19 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 1: he and I can get back together and get married. 20 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,880 Speaker 1: He tells me every day that he loves me, so 21 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 1: why wouldn't he want to marry me instead of her. 22 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,480 Speaker 1: If I were an evil woman, I could end it 23 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: all between him and this woman by telling her that 24 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,560 Speaker 1: I've been with him this entire time they've been together. 25 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,040 Speaker 1: I have lots of damaging proof that would definitely break 26 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:27,320 Speaker 1: them up. Even though I did not want to have children. 27 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:30,120 Speaker 1: I can help him raise his son. What do you 28 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,960 Speaker 1: think I should do? Don't I deserve to be happy too? Well? Yeah, 29 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 1: everyone deserves to be happy, but not this way. Okay. 30 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: I just gotta tell you that it looks like you're done. 31 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:44,280 Speaker 1: I mean, you're just the side piece in this relationship. 32 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 1: He has moved on from you to the woman he 33 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:51,280 Speaker 1: wants to marry. And guess what, that woman is not you. 34 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 1: He said he wanted to marry that woman and not you. 35 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 1: You don't want to have children. He only has one child. 36 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: How do you know he doesn't want to have more children. 37 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 1: You didn't mention that in the letter? Did you you 38 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: think he's one and done? Really smart, Shelly, really smart? 39 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,640 Speaker 1: I didn't see that. Well, point, he may not. You know, 40 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,720 Speaker 1: he may want to have another one, and you still 41 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:15,240 Speaker 1: don't want children, So there is no future in this 42 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,480 Speaker 1: relationship with him. What you have with him is as 43 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 1: good as it's going to get with again, you being 44 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:25,400 Speaker 1: the jump off. That's it. He told you he wanted 45 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: to marry this new woman. He didn't or hasn't told 46 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,679 Speaker 1: you that he wanted to marry you lately, has he? 47 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 1: So I suggest you ask, you know, don't you deserve 48 00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 1: to be happy? What do you think you should do? Well, 49 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 1: you need to get out of this situation because he 50 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 1: wants to marry someone else and have you on the side, 51 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 1: which is exactly what he's doing. Steve. Well, when we 52 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 1: come back and we'll break it down a little bit further, 53 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 1: I would really admire the point that you made. Though 54 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:56,320 Speaker 1: this guy may want to have other children. Oh yeah, 55 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,720 Speaker 1: she doesn't see this both. When I come back, though, 56 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you what's really blow this whole damn 57 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:06,160 Speaker 1: bring it, bring it up. All right, we'll have part 58 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:10,760 Speaker 1: two of Steve's response, uh coming out. I'm gonna let 59 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 1: him have it too. Now, don't don't nobody be tight? Okay, okay, 60 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 1: because I see you know this, you know, thanks for 61 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:25,359 Speaker 1: having a child for my man. Yeah, show your man 62 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: exactly exactly what you don't see that? All right? Well again, Steve, 63 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,240 Speaker 1: you're gonna bring it with part two of your response 64 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: coming up today's subject thanks for having a child from 65 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:42,480 Speaker 1: my man. We'll be back right after this. Well, I 66 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 1: don't have to recap it because I didn't respond to it. 67 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 1: But I just don't. This woman had a relationship with 68 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 1: this guy. She's thirty years old. She never wanted to 69 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: have children. Five years ago, she was in a great 70 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 1: relationship talking about getting married, but he wanted kid she didn't, 71 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,640 Speaker 1: So y'all decided to end the relationship. But you still 72 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 1: loved each other. So two years later, after y'all broke up, 73 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 1: y'all reconnected and started seeing each other off and on 74 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,400 Speaker 1: since then. Well, while we've been spending time together, he 75 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:16,040 Speaker 1: started relationship. No, see, while we were spending time together, 76 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 1: he started a relationship with a new woman. That's not true. 77 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:25,039 Speaker 1: That's not true, sees. This is the first big lie 78 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:29,599 Speaker 1: in the letter. She thinks that for two years this 79 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:33,960 Speaker 1: dude was sitting somewhere sad and upset that they had 80 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:38,360 Speaker 1: broke up and wasn't involved with nobody. So she writes 81 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,920 Speaker 1: in the letter, because this is a self serving woman, 82 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,719 Speaker 1: while we were spending time together, he started relationship with 83 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 1: a new woman. No, he was in a relationship with 84 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:50,560 Speaker 1: the new you woman. Then y'all started spending time together. 85 00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:55,000 Speaker 1: They had a child together, and he couldn't be happier. 86 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:57,720 Speaker 1: He told me he wants to marry this woman so 87 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,040 Speaker 1: this child can have the kind of upbringing he he 88 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:03,440 Speaker 1: had with both parents. President. Now she believes that since 89 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,040 Speaker 1: you got son, he wanted down to be able to 90 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,080 Speaker 1: get back together and getting married. He tells me every day, 91 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 1: loves me. Why wouldn't want to be with me? If 92 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 1: I were an even woman, I could end this whole thing. 93 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:13,359 Speaker 1: Blah blah blah. Even though I do not want to 94 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: have children, I can help him raise his sons. What 95 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,599 Speaker 1: do you think I should do? I deserve to be 96 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: happy to you will never be happy destroying someone else's right, 97 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:30,960 Speaker 1: let's just start there. You'll never be happy destroying someone else's. 98 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:35,200 Speaker 1: You're the most self serving person I've heard from in 99 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:42,280 Speaker 1: a long time. You, lady, is you are? What's the 100 00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:48,520 Speaker 1: word is? Narcissist? Yeah? You just like the president. It's 101 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 1: all about you. See. So now you didn't want to 102 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,040 Speaker 1: have children, but you think since he has a child, 103 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,240 Speaker 1: you could help him raise his son. You don't even 104 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:02,000 Speaker 1: won't no damn kids? Right? So what's gonna make you 105 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 1: the great mother all of a sudden, you still don't 106 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:08,320 Speaker 1: want kids, but now you think you're gonna turn into 107 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,000 Speaker 1: the super mom over the woman who had the baby. 108 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:15,160 Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? You're very 109 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,800 Speaker 1: self servant. You didn't want children, so you didn't want children, 110 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:21,080 Speaker 1: so you broke up. You couldn't say, you know what, 111 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:23,159 Speaker 1: we love each other enough, we should share a child. 112 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:26,560 Speaker 1: Now it's always about you. I don't want to handle kids, 113 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:30,760 Speaker 1: so we break up. Two years. Lady, y'all reconnect now 114 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:33,320 Speaker 1: here in a relationship, you can believe that. Ain't a 115 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,960 Speaker 1: man sitting on the sideline two years trying to get 116 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:40,480 Speaker 1: over no damn body. We get over women with women. 117 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:55,360 Speaker 1: Hello again, we get over women with women sitting up 118 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,720 Speaker 1: in the house sucking the thumb because you're gonna we'll 119 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 1: do that for a little while. But we're gonna take 120 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:07,159 Speaker 1: this thumbsucking and turn it into something. Hello. Now, he 121 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 1: wants the family, she said, he wants to marry this 122 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 1: girl who had the baby because he wants the baby 123 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:17,080 Speaker 1: to have the same family he had grown up, both 124 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 1: parents present. You don't give a damn about that. You 125 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:24,560 Speaker 1: want that to split up damn the again. You show 126 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,400 Speaker 1: exactly why you don't need children, because you want to 127 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:30,679 Speaker 1: take this opportunity for this child to have a family 128 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,160 Speaker 1: structure that this womanan wants to create with this woman, 129 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,080 Speaker 1: because you want to just be here so you won't 130 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 1: break that up, so you can help raise a child 131 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:42,960 Speaker 1: that you don't even won't You don't even want kids, 132 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 1: but so you could be happy, you want to break 133 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: it up. Now you say you could break them up 134 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:53,840 Speaker 1: because you got some evidence, pictures, text, all this. Hell, yeah, 135 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:55,760 Speaker 1: you could do that. You could break them up. But 136 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,200 Speaker 1: let me ask you a question. You don't think that 137 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 1: he'll remember that. You don't think that when y'all sitting 138 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:05,120 Speaker 1: around having a couple of arguments. You don't think that 139 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,320 Speaker 1: when y'all sitting up trying to make these bills work. 140 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 1: You don't think when real life kicking with a honeymoon 141 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 1: section is over. You don't think he gonna remember the 142 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 1: fact that you sent some pictures that destroyed what he 143 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:20,760 Speaker 1: really wanted to have. Now he over there with you 144 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:26,080 Speaker 1: with a baby that you don't want. You do not 145 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:30,640 Speaker 1: want children his, You don't even want your own. If 146 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:34,960 Speaker 1: you don't want your own children, I to hell. You're 147 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:40,120 Speaker 1: supposed to want somebody else's. I'm just asking so one 148 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 1: more time. You are the most served, self serving woman. 149 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:47,320 Speaker 1: And like Shirley said, suppose this man want to have 150 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 1: another child. You ain't it again, you're out. Then you 151 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,520 Speaker 1: you deserve to be happy too. We'll go find you 152 00:08:56,559 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 1: a man that don't want no kids. It's a bunch 153 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:05,680 Speaker 1: of him. But go back to chapter two, verse eighteen. 154 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 1: We get over. We get over women with other women. Man, 155 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:16,959 Speaker 1: we don't hey, how we don't say, we don't go therapy. No, 156 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,319 Speaker 1: we don't go up in the mountains to find ourselves. 157 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:25,040 Speaker 1: Now we get another one of y'all who can do 158 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:28,520 Speaker 1: the same thing. Y'all do make me feel like you do, 159 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 1: and we go to getting over it. Just like that man. 160 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,839 Speaker 1: We ain't gotta soaking, no tub, drinking no wine, getting 161 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 1: no good book, going to girls trump while we go 162 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 1: to Vegas and fixed it. They don't discount the sucking 163 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,000 Speaker 1: in the tub and all of that. Now that's good 164 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 1: stuff right there, discounting for a man. If your man 165 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:53,720 Speaker 1: soaking the tub to find himself with somebody crying in 166 00:09:53,800 --> 00:10:01,080 Speaker 1: our wine and all that, that's all called soaking. He 167 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:07,439 Speaker 1: just broke up with somebody with candles? Is that your 168 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,720 Speaker 1: toes coming out of baby bubbles? Man, I'm trying to 169 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:12,920 Speaker 1: get over something. Man, leave me loan man. Read, act 170 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 1: like a lady, think like a man. Get your I'm 171 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 1: gonna do something and leave me loan dog. Dog. We're 172 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,000 Speaker 1: on the way to Vegas. We can help you get 173 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,960 Speaker 1: over it all right, guys, we gotta get out of here. 174 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,960 Speaker 1: Email us your Instagram. That's your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter. 175 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,400 Speaker 1: At Steve Harvey FM, you're listening to the Steve Harvey 176 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 1: Morning Show.