WEBVTT - A GECK IN TIME 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:06.440 Hello, Lyle is this are you Simba? 0:00:06.680 --> 0:00:08.960 I'm good. Sorry, I watch a lot of Disney. I 0:00:08.960 --> 0:00:10.879 have a one year old. 0:00:10.960 --> 0:00:15.400 So you have a one year old? Do you Are 0:00:15.400 --> 0:00:16.840 you enjoying being a father? 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:25.200 Yeah, she's the light in my life. And uh, yeah, 0:00:25.280 --> 0:00:27.440 it's tough though, having a one year old girl. But 0:00:28.440 --> 0:00:30.360 trying to set a good example for her. 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:35.120 Mm hmm. And what do you what sorts of things 0:00:35.120 --> 0:00:37.440 do you do to set a good example for her? 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:43.360 Uh, trying to be a good parent, trying to be 0:00:43.479 --> 0:00:48.879 there for when she needs me, and trying to, you know, 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:54.160 just shield her from the harsh realities of this world. 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:57.040 Sorry, why is why do you feel as though the 0:00:58.000 --> 0:01:05.000 reality of the world is so harsh? 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:06.800 Well, there's a lot. I feel like there's a lot 0:01:06.800 --> 0:01:09.520 of good to be found in this world. And her 0:01:09.560 --> 0:01:16.520 mother does a really good job too. And ah, I 0:01:16.600 --> 0:01:18.679 just feel like it's kind of a tough time right now. 0:01:18.720 --> 0:01:23.120 She was a COVID baby, so it's it's funny you 0:01:23.160 --> 0:01:25.680 just never really realize those things until you become a father. 0:01:26.440 --> 0:01:31.959 M And has she been been have you been changing 0:01:32.000 --> 0:01:36.960 her diapers a lot? Has she ever shat on your 0:01:37.000 --> 0:01:38.880 face or anything like that? 0:01:42.000 --> 0:01:42.160 Oh? 0:01:42.240 --> 0:01:44.759 Yeah, she sits all over the place and she shits 0:01:44.840 --> 0:01:50.400 on my hand and but that's okay, but nah, And 0:01:50.880 --> 0:01:53.120 I think her mother wants to have one more too, 0:01:53.280 --> 0:01:54.240 so wish me luck. 0:01:55.360 --> 0:01:56.920 Oh so you want to have another? Well, it says 0:01:56.960 --> 0:02:01.480 here that you believe that your wife is getting bored 0:02:01.480 --> 0:02:08.160 of you. Yeah, definitely, is that something she told you? 0:02:11.600 --> 0:02:14.600 Yeah, like right to my face. And it's funny because 0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:18.119 like she'll like say to me that, like she needs 0:02:18.160 --> 0:02:21.280 someone with big dick energy. And I was like, huh 0:02:21.400 --> 0:02:23.640 at first, I thought that was kind of hurtful, but 0:02:24.160 --> 0:02:25.640 you know, I kind of see what she means, Like 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:29.480 she wants someone who's confident and relaxed, and that's kind 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:32.880 of like the opposite of what I am. And if 0:02:32.919 --> 0:02:35.800 I don't do something soon, she's probably gonna try and 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:38.240 go and find a boyfriend or some shit. I don't know. 0:02:38.880 --> 0:02:43.680 Really, Yeah, it's a lot. 0:02:44.080 --> 0:02:46.639 So she told you that that she is looking for 0:02:46.680 --> 0:02:48.040 somebody with big dick energy. 0:02:48.320 --> 0:02:57.200 Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I feel like, yeah, we kind 0:02:57.200 --> 0:02:59.720 of get on the wrong but sometimes, but she's like 0:02:59.760 --> 0:03:02.680 a she's a witch too, she's a brew ha and 0:03:02.720 --> 0:03:05.640 she like I see her like casting spells and ships. 0:03:05.760 --> 0:03:08.720 So I take what she says very seriously. 0:03:10.919 --> 0:03:13.320 M hmm. Do you believe that she has cast a 0:03:13.320 --> 0:03:13.960 spell upon you? 0:03:17.040 --> 0:03:17.200 Oh? 0:03:17.280 --> 0:03:22.760 Yeah, for sure, definitely. She wants me to just really 0:03:23.400 --> 0:03:25.440 kind of grow a pair and get my fire and 0:03:25.440 --> 0:03:28.560 my drive back because it's really low right now and 0:03:28.639 --> 0:03:32.400 hers is like really high. And yeah, I just feel 0:03:32.440 --> 0:03:34.520 like she's getting kind of bored with me, you know. 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:38.080 So what kind of spell do you believe she has 0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:43.600 cast upon you? 0:03:43.600 --> 0:03:46.000 You know, it's funny. I actually think they're good stulls. 0:03:46.080 --> 0:03:50.720 Like she brings me a lot of luck too, and 0:03:50.840 --> 0:03:53.360 she gives me a lot of good energy, which is 0:03:53.400 --> 0:03:57.119 why I'm I'm worried, you know, will make her unhappy. 0:03:57.560 --> 0:04:01.520 So and she does want me to kind of go 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:05.200 to therapy too, but I guess that's another story. 0:04:05.680 --> 0:04:07.640 So she's told you that she is bored of you. 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:11.720 But how do you feel about her? 0:04:14.320 --> 0:04:17.160 Oh? I think she's the best thing to ever happened 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:21.800 to me. I feel like, you know, I was really 0:04:21.920 --> 0:04:26.479 lucky to find her, and I feel like she's helped 0:04:26.480 --> 0:04:28.159 me realize a lot of things too, Like there are 0:04:28.160 --> 0:04:30.440 a lot of things that are wrong with me, But 0:04:31.279 --> 0:04:33.960 I feel like I don't maybe do the same for her. 0:04:34.000 --> 0:04:35.040 If you know what I mean. 0:04:36.600 --> 0:04:38.919 What does she helped you realize is wrong with you? 0:04:42.600 --> 0:04:46.200 Well, she kind of made me like take a look 0:04:46.240 --> 0:04:51.080 at like the way I act, you know, And she 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:55.479 also made me realize that maybe my relationship with my 0:04:55.560 --> 0:05:02.320 mom isn't really the healthiest as well. But it's been 0:05:02.640 --> 0:05:04.839 it's been kind of nice because I've never really I 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:08.160 didn't really realize that until I was older, and like 0:05:08.200 --> 0:05:11.600 I'm twenty eight and I'm almost thirty, so it's kind 0:05:11.600 --> 0:05:14.760 of weird, like having to kind of realize realize those 0:05:14.800 --> 0:05:15.719 things played in life. 0:05:15.760 --> 0:05:15.960 You know. 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:23.680 So you like her because well you you said you 0:05:23.680 --> 0:05:25.359 think she's the best thing that's ever happened to you, 0:05:25.920 --> 0:05:29.359 And you were saying that because she's helped you realize 0:05:29.400 --> 0:05:33.680 certain things that are that are amiss with you. I mean, 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:41.720 what else do you find redeeming and attractive and you know, 0:05:41.800 --> 0:05:47.080 anything else about this person that you feel makes them 0:05:47.480 --> 0:05:49.320 a positive thing to have in your life. 0:05:53.279 --> 0:05:56.360 Well, she's really good at kids. That's the first thing. 0:05:56.480 --> 0:05:59.640 Like I didn't know anything about having kids, and so 0:05:59.680 --> 0:06:04.120 she's been able to kind of show me how to 0:06:05.040 --> 0:06:10.040 set a good example for her daughter. And she's also 0:06:13.200 --> 0:06:15.240 then she's a really good friend to kind of bounce 0:06:15.320 --> 0:06:18.320 things off of. And she helps me like find a 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:21.279 stable job too. I was having trouble finding work there. 0:06:22.160 --> 0:06:24.080 She's kind of been coaching me a little bit. 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:29.400 And how how did it feel when she told you 0:06:29.440 --> 0:06:30.080 what she told you? 0:06:33.839 --> 0:06:36.719 It felt really good. I was really lucky to to 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:40.120 find her, but it made me realize that I still 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:41.479 have a long way to go, you know. 0:06:41.640 --> 0:06:44.800 So that's well, Well, when when she when she you know, 0:06:44.880 --> 0:06:47.800 I mean, when she when she told you that she's 0:06:47.839 --> 0:06:52.240 looking for someone with big dig energy and that if 0:06:52.279 --> 0:06:52.760 you don't. 0:06:53.360 --> 0:06:54.840 Leave you feel. 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:56.599 Where how did that make you feel? 0:06:57.080 --> 0:06:57.400 Well? 0:06:57.920 --> 0:07:01.400 I just feel it didn't make me feel good. I 0:07:01.400 --> 0:07:05.880 feel like, yeah, I feel like she wants someone who 0:07:06.000 --> 0:07:09.279 has like some swag maybe and kind I'm kind of pooring, 0:07:09.520 --> 0:07:13.520 you know, like I'm kind of quiet, and I feel 0:07:13.520 --> 0:07:17.040 like and she's kind of looking for someone who can, 0:07:18.240 --> 0:07:20.920 uh kind of command a room a little bit, you know. 0:07:21.240 --> 0:07:26.080 So it didn't make me feel goo good. But hopefully 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:28.800 since we're married, I can kind of turn that around 0:07:28.800 --> 0:07:29.280 a little bit. 0:07:30.520 --> 0:07:32.400 M What do you want from her? Do you want 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:33.960 her to change anything about herself? 0:07:39.840 --> 0:07:44.120 That's a good question. I feel like maybe she could 0:07:44.880 --> 0:07:47.560 just have a little more patience with me. You know, 0:07:47.880 --> 0:07:51.720 I know that I suffer from some social anxiety a 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:55.840 little bit, and I have for a while. So I 0:07:55.840 --> 0:08:00.720 feel like, yeah, it's just I want her to show 0:08:00.760 --> 0:08:03.080 me a little patience and I think we can get there. 0:08:03.360 --> 0:08:04.400 Have you told her that. 0:08:09.360 --> 0:08:10.960 I'm sorry you kind of cut out there? 0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:12.160 Have you told her that? 0:08:15.960 --> 0:08:16.120 Oh? 0:08:16.240 --> 0:08:18.600 Yeah, for sure, many times? 0:08:19.600 --> 0:08:23.760 And does she does she seem she said, does she 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:28.520 seem like she's she's internalized and made a further effort 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:31.080 toward being more patient with you? 0:08:37.840 --> 0:08:40.840 Yeah, because I feel like, you know, she likes to 0:08:41.679 --> 0:08:43.600 kind of be romanced a little bit, and I'm not 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:45.520 very good at romancing. 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:45.880 You know. 0:08:46.000 --> 0:08:51.720 She likes to kind of be just reminded that she's loved, 0:08:51.800 --> 0:08:53.800 and she likes to kind of be taken out on 0:08:53.880 --> 0:08:56.240 dates and stuff like that. So but it's hard because 0:08:56.760 --> 0:08:58.480 you know, you come home, you work all day and. 0:09:02.480 --> 0:09:08.600 Yeah, okay, here's what I do want to say to you, Simba. 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:12.520 Here's what I want to say to you, Simba. Simba. 0:09:12.600 --> 0:09:16.320 I think I think if you're trying to build a 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:21.160 family here, if you're trying to build a life, a 0:09:21.200 --> 0:09:27.160 long lasting relationship with kids and all that, I think 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:34.600 you should be married to someone who loves you for 0:09:34.679 --> 0:09:39.600 who you are, who believes that you are enough, but 0:09:39.840 --> 0:09:47.360 also it's continuously encouraging you, challenging you to be better 0:09:47.800 --> 0:09:52.720 in ways in which you yourself also desire to be better. 0:09:54.720 --> 0:10:00.360 I don't like that your wife is telling you, you know, 0:10:01.040 --> 0:10:04.920 you better man up right now or else I'm out 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:10.360 of here again. I don't want to pry too deep 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:12.600 or make too many assumptions because I don't really feel 0:10:12.600 --> 0:10:15.679 like I can grasp the full scope of your relationship 0:10:16.160 --> 0:10:18.280 over the course of ten minutes. I'm not going to 0:10:18.640 --> 0:10:23.480 pretend like I can, but I will just say that 0:10:23.600 --> 0:10:27.760 I think you should be with someone who accepts you 0:10:27.800 --> 0:10:32.840 for who you are while still simultaneously challenging you. And 0:10:32.920 --> 0:10:36.000 I think that you should also be checking in with 0:10:36.080 --> 0:10:40.360 yourself to see if you're happy, because if you know 0:10:40.480 --> 0:10:43.280 she's not making the effort to be more patient with you, 0:10:45.440 --> 0:10:50.400 then why would you be inclined to make the effort 0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:54.360 to man up for her? You know what I'm saying. 0:10:54.400 --> 0:10:56.440 I don't like that there's an ultimatum attached to it. 0:10:56.640 --> 0:11:00.959 I think it's good that you two are challenging each 0:11:00.960 --> 0:11:03.839 other to be better, but if you're going to be 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:06.000 raising a child with this parson, if you're going to 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:08.760 be deeply connected with this person, this person is gonna 0:11:08.760 --> 0:11:10.920 be the most important person in your life. They should 0:11:10.960 --> 0:11:14.520 feel as though you are enough. How do you feel 0:11:14.520 --> 0:11:14.880 about that? 0:11:18.400 --> 0:11:20.640 No, it's so good. I like that. I like that 0:11:20.720 --> 0:11:22.760 a lot, and I can't wait to tell her. She's 0:11:22.800 --> 0:11:25.000 going to be so excited. I got on the show. 0:11:25.640 --> 0:11:28.960 But uh, I kind of like that. 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:29.720 I like that. 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:32.480 There's a balance, you know, and I really agree that 0:11:33.320 --> 0:11:35.680 it takes It's a two way street and it will 0:11:35.679 --> 0:11:37.920 take effort on both our parts. So I really like that. 0:11:39.000 --> 0:11:42.000 Anything else you want to say before we go, Simba? 0:11:44.160 --> 0:11:47.400 No, thank you so much. By chat Bye bye Lyle. 0:11:47.280 --> 0:11:51.240 Goodbye, Simba. 0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:52.520 Thanks by. 0:11:56.120 --> 0:12:01.920 Simba. Simba, Simba, sim Simba. I don't know. I don't 0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:05.440 have a wife, I don't have a children. I'm not 0:12:05.480 --> 0:12:08.280 in love. I don't know if I'll ever be in love. 0:12:09.679 --> 0:12:14.200 I don't know if anything qualifies me to tell Simba anything. 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:18.040 You know, I'm just an old chunk of coal, just 0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:26.199 an old green, crackly leaf, you know. Hello, doctor Gex, Hello, 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:26.640 how are you? 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:34.760 I'm good, sir, I'm go because I got this problem. 0:12:34.920 --> 0:12:40.480 I've ran off, you know, I ran off about eleven miles. 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:45.880 I've gotta I gotta rip some the band aid up 0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:49.640 until that, I'm not coming back and I need your help. 0:12:49.679 --> 0:12:50.400 How do igue? 0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:54.240 Okay? So you said you've ran away? 0:12:56.360 --> 0:12:58.960 Yeah? 0:12:59.000 --> 0:12:59.800 Where did you run away? 0:12:59.800 --> 0:13:05.360 From the mountains of Idaho? 0:13:07.800 --> 0:13:11.439 You ran away to Idaho? Or from Idaho. 0:13:13.120 --> 0:13:16.079 From Yeah, you ran cold. 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:18.680 The mountains of Idaho? Because it sounds very cold. Where 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:19.480 did you run away to. 0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:23.439 San Diego? Works worn? 0:13:25.800 --> 0:13:29.200 That sounds like a a well informed decision. What what 0:13:29.280 --> 0:13:31.199 was the impetus of that decision? Why did you Why 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:32.640 did you run away? Was it just the weather? 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:41.359 Well, I'm allergic to the cold. Eh, I'm better gets 0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:46.040 as well, but I actually am. And it's called cold 0:13:46.320 --> 0:13:49.440 d gardia and it's just not I don't do well 0:13:49.440 --> 0:13:49.920 in cold. 0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:55.680 Mhm mhm. And so from what you've said, you you 0:13:55.800 --> 0:14:00.160 left someone there? You left uh a woman who is 0:14:00.160 --> 0:14:02.120 important to you in Idaho? 0:14:02.960 --> 0:14:03.280 Is that? 0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:04.160 Is that what I'm hearing? 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:12.080 I freaking did that, and I'm not really duck. I'm 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:14.640 not proud of it and I'm not happy about it, 0:14:14.720 --> 0:14:16.120 but I did it, you know. 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:17.360 H. 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:22.840 Yeah, did you have any conversation with her before you 0:14:22.960 --> 0:14:25.840 left her? Did you just completely leave and then not 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:27.080 tell her? 0:14:28.600 --> 0:14:28.920 No? 0:14:29.000 --> 0:14:32.920 I I she saw me taking some bags and stuff 0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:35.520 when I said, I'm going to hire one of your 0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:38.120 friends to take me to the airport. You think that 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:43.080 would be okay? I said that, and then I did it, 0:14:44.360 --> 0:14:45.480 and then I flew away. 0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:47.800 Hmm. 0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:53.720 And why was it so hard to leave this person behind? 0:14:56.840 --> 0:15:01.800 She's really Jesus sweet old gal. You know, I'm old 0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:05.720 some bitch, and so she and so like we've been 0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:09.440 around the block and she's pretty pretty, nice little girl 0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:16.120 and stuff. But yeah, I have the mind of a 0:15:16.240 --> 0:15:19.160 twenty year old and I need those twenty year old things. 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:21.640 And no, the older girl, they just may not be 0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:24.120 able to satisfy a fellaw like that, you know what 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:24.480 I mean? 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:29.520 How long have you and uh and the girl, the 0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:31.120 girl that you left behind? How long had you and 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:31.920 her been together? 0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:35.320 Well? 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:40.600 I started kicking around with her and stuck for about 0:15:40.720 --> 0:15:45.000 ten years, and then then we became kind of intimate 0:15:45.160 --> 0:15:49.720 for several years, and and then I lived with her 0:15:49.800 --> 0:15:55.680 for several months last fall and winter and ran off. 0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:03.280 I don't like to. 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:07.200 Well, well, well, so tell so okay, So then tell 0:16:07.200 --> 0:16:11.000 me this, how come she didn't come with you? 0:16:11.000 --> 0:16:15.800 You know, she she has family and friends and the stuff. 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:19.680 You know, a lot of that kind of thing going on. 0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:24.800 I don't. Well, I have family, and but I could 0:16:24.800 --> 0:16:27.320 give a funk about it, you know, I just go 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:28.040 where I go. 0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:30.680 M h yeah. 0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:37.200 So, in in sort of examining, like what's important to 0:16:37.280 --> 0:16:41.640 you in the context of of of this decision, would 0:16:41.680 --> 0:16:44.680 you say that? And it's okay if if, if, this 0:16:44.840 --> 0:16:47.960 is the answer, because I think it's good to know 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:53.080 what you value is friends and family and relationships with 0:16:53.120 --> 0:16:58.600 other people. Is that important to you? 0:16:58.600 --> 0:17:03.880 You know, I'd rather just sunbathe on a rock out 0:17:03.920 --> 0:17:05.919 in the middle of the desert and hang out with 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:12.680 any of them. I've been that way. Most of my 0:17:12.720 --> 0:17:18.399 wife has been that way, you know. I'm prospector. So 0:17:18.480 --> 0:17:21.119 I would dig holes in the ground and sometimes I 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:25.920 would dig for hundreds of yards, and I enjoyed being 0:17:26.080 --> 0:17:29.800 way way down there, you know, and all by my fault, 0:17:30.680 --> 0:17:32.320 all you could hear was your heart beat. 0:17:34.720 --> 0:17:37.159 Do you mind if I ask you how old you are? 0:17:39.280 --> 0:17:43.160 I'm seventy fus a little more than seventy eight. 0:17:44.359 --> 0:17:49.800 And you say that you really enjoy being alone? Has 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:53.439 it been like that for your entire life. 0:17:56.000 --> 0:18:02.280 Yeah. Yeah, I would disappear into the mountain and I 0:18:02.320 --> 0:18:07.760 wouldn't come out for a long time. Eh. What was 0:18:07.800 --> 0:18:14.119 I was married once? The time I was married, scalous, 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:18.720 I was married to the schalty's secretary, you know, in 0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:22.679 a college, and she wanted me to become something, you know, 0:18:22.760 --> 0:18:27.520 other than a bomb, and a prospector to her was 0:18:27.560 --> 0:18:31.240 a bomb, you know. And so I went to school 0:18:31.320 --> 0:18:37.320 and I could. I quit a semester before I graduated 0:18:37.359 --> 0:18:40.960 with distinguished honors. And it's all because she goes, you 0:18:41.000 --> 0:18:43.320 know what, this summer, You're not going into the mountains 0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:47.439 ever again. You're going to stay home, nada. I was 0:18:47.480 --> 0:18:52.240 working for a law guy and I was an intern, 0:18:52.280 --> 0:18:54.119 and he come in and he told me, I'm going 0:18:54.200 --> 0:18:57.679 to bump you up fourteen to eighty five cases, and 0:18:57.760 --> 0:19:01.480 I'm not going to give you a raise. I've ran 0:19:01.560 --> 0:19:04.680 off that day to you ran off and I even 0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:08.119 come back. I never even went back home ever. 0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:12.920 What is What is home is where it's home for you? 0:19:15.840 --> 0:19:22.840 Oh man, I must have been a nomad in my 0:19:22.920 --> 0:19:27.720 past life, right, mm hmm. So I'm I'm no mad. 0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:36.800 I'm not very domesticated Yeah, that's not good, you know, 0:19:36.880 --> 0:19:39.000 and I'm not civilized either. 0:19:39.320 --> 0:19:42.040 Mostly well, hold on, stop, can't stop you for just 0:19:42.080 --> 0:19:45.560 a second. You said that, you're saying that's not that good, 0:19:45.600 --> 0:19:47.560 and that leads into what I was going to ask you, 0:19:47.760 --> 0:19:51.600 is so you're saying that you've been nomadic for most 0:19:51.600 --> 0:19:57.040 of your life. You've been very comfortable and actively pursued 0:19:57.720 --> 0:20:03.040 lots of time alone. And and I'm curious, if anything 0:20:03.080 --> 0:20:08.800 at all, have there been many cons to this lifestyle 0:20:09.280 --> 0:20:14.840 or many times in which you reconsidered your position of 0:20:15.920 --> 0:20:19.480 always desiring to be nomadic and to be alone. Have 0:20:19.560 --> 0:20:21.040 there been times where you wanted. 0:20:23.640 --> 0:20:29.840 I've lost a few friends over it. Because if if 0:20:29.880 --> 0:20:31.879 you were a friend of mine and you just came 0:20:32.000 --> 0:20:33.960 up on me all of a sudden, like you know, 0:20:34.840 --> 0:20:40.080 knocked on my door, I'll be all set. You needed 0:20:40.119 --> 0:20:42.480 to let me know you were going to come there 0:20:42.720 --> 0:20:48.280 and visit. Otherwise on my just pulled a gun off, 0:20:48.480 --> 0:20:50.960 show up and back you the hell out of the 0:20:51.040 --> 0:20:53.240 door and tell you never to come back again, you know. 0:20:54.600 --> 0:20:58.119 And that's the way I was. And I'm having a 0:20:58.119 --> 0:21:00.720 hard time with that now. I'm don diego. You people 0:21:00.840 --> 0:21:04.240 knocking on the door on the all shit. Oh my. 0:21:06.240 --> 0:21:08.000 People are people are knocking on your door all the 0:21:08.000 --> 0:21:10.280 time in San Diego? Why are they knocking on your door? 0:21:11.920 --> 0:21:12.920 Oh, there's delivery. 0:21:13.080 --> 0:21:13.280 You know. 0:21:13.480 --> 0:21:15.359 I don't go out to the store as much, so 0:21:15.400 --> 0:21:18.000 I have things delivered and they knock, knock, blah blah 0:21:18.160 --> 0:21:18.960 and they walk away. 0:21:19.119 --> 0:21:19.320 Right. 0:21:19.960 --> 0:21:25.720 Yeah, yeah, I never had it. I never allowed people 0:21:25.760 --> 0:21:29.280 to come knocking on my door. I had two gates 0:21:29.280 --> 0:21:31.440 and they're both locked, and there was lots of signs 0:21:31.480 --> 0:21:33.120 saying scary shit. 0:21:33.320 --> 0:21:33.560 You know. 0:21:36.720 --> 0:21:42.600 Now, I have another question for you that I I 0:21:43.080 --> 0:21:46.040 have another question for you. Do you because I feel 0:21:46.080 --> 0:21:47.960 like there's a difference between these two and I'm curious 0:21:48.000 --> 0:21:51.240 what it is for you. Do you just enjoy being 0:21:51.320 --> 0:21:56.640 alone or do you actively not like other people. 0:21:59.800 --> 0:22:04.639 Like totally be comfortable with me. I just you know, 0:22:05.320 --> 0:22:10.800 I don't totally like or dislike other people because sometimes 0:22:10.840 --> 0:22:14.600 I'm the walfar. I'm like blah blah blah blah blah, 0:22:14.640 --> 0:22:20.320 you know and stuff. However, when I'm doing blah blah, boy, 0:22:20.520 --> 0:22:22.760 I need to be by myself and you guys need 0:22:22.800 --> 0:22:28.879 to fuck out of here. Yeah. So there's some people 0:22:29.080 --> 0:22:32.920 now that are comfortable being a one and I know. 0:22:34.359 --> 0:22:38.600 I Yeah, I'm doing many a woman's life. You know, 0:22:40.720 --> 0:22:46.520 I've been married four times and and I have numerous 0:22:46.720 --> 0:22:50.679 girlfriends and stuff. That's none of it stuck, you know, 0:22:50.880 --> 0:22:52.920 because I had to go to the hills. 0:22:54.080 --> 0:22:59.480 M How long after being in a relationship will you 0:22:59.520 --> 0:23:04.280 typically start to feel like you're tired of it and 0:23:04.440 --> 0:23:05.280 you need to be alone? 0:23:08.840 --> 0:23:12.080 Well, I'm not to scale on the internet today and 0:23:12.640 --> 0:23:16.160 it lasted about three four hours and I'm started after 0:23:16.280 --> 0:23:18.520 that and lads go, you know this is not gonna 0:23:18.560 --> 0:23:19.000 work out? 0:23:19.200 --> 0:23:20.480 Okay, bye? 0:23:22.640 --> 0:23:26.639 So after four marriages and all these girlfriends, all these 0:23:26.640 --> 0:23:32.879 people meeting online, what keeps you going back? Because after 0:23:32.960 --> 0:23:35.720 because after four marriage because on the fourth marriage, right, 0:23:36.200 --> 0:23:38.120 you have to be like, all right, didn't work out 0:23:38.200 --> 0:23:43.000 the previous three times, but let's try again. What made you? 0:23:43.040 --> 0:23:44.600 What made you want to try again? 0:23:47.040 --> 0:23:51.240 Ah? Dude, it's the sense of a woman, right. How 0:23:51.320 --> 0:23:57.399 could you not? How can you not? I'm sorry? Turned 0:23:57.400 --> 0:23:57.680 me out? 0:24:00.200 --> 0:24:02.879 H H. 0:24:03.640 --> 0:24:05.760 Do you have friends? Just people like friends? 0:24:08.680 --> 0:24:08.800 You know? 0:24:09.600 --> 0:24:15.480 I have a couple, but rarely do I speak to them. 0:24:14.760 --> 0:24:19.240 M fairly a couple of times a year. Maybe because 0:24:19.320 --> 0:24:21.960 one of my good friends once a year on his birthday. 0:24:22.520 --> 0:24:23.760 Do you see one of your good friends once a 0:24:23.800 --> 0:24:24.600 year on his birthday? 0:24:26.480 --> 0:24:31.240 You know, I just talked to him on the phone. 0:24:33.119 --> 0:24:37.120 So when you're alone, what do you do to pass 0:24:37.200 --> 0:24:40.399 the time? What are what are some activities that you 0:24:40.480 --> 0:24:41.840 find yourself doing day to day. 0:24:44.320 --> 0:24:46.879 I do a lot of exercises to the old part, 0:24:47.040 --> 0:24:49.560 and I want to stay in shape and so and 0:24:50.040 --> 0:24:53.960 I read. I read like a million pages a year. 0:24:54.160 --> 0:24:57.600 You know, people that can read, they can do whatever 0:24:57.640 --> 0:24:59.719 they all they want, you know, because they got all 0:24:59.800 --> 0:25:03.960 the all the words in their heads. So a lot 0:25:03.960 --> 0:25:08.520 of reading. I'd probably read three four books a week, 0:25:09.720 --> 0:25:14.280 and they can be of anything. I'm thinking about reading 0:25:14.400 --> 0:25:17.639 books on how to be a doctor and the lawyer, 0:25:17.960 --> 0:25:22.160 and you don't even learn how to be a therapist. 0:25:22.560 --> 0:25:27.200 I don't know, it's probably not. I'll be a bad therapist. 0:25:27.520 --> 0:25:28.280 I really would. 0:25:29.480 --> 0:25:31.320 Why do you think it would be a bad therapist? 0:25:33.880 --> 0:25:38.280 Because I give them bad advice? You know, they are fight, 0:25:39.240 --> 0:25:42.080 fight or flight. I'm always on the flight end of it, 0:25:42.160 --> 0:25:45.000 and so I hit out. You know that's not good 0:25:45.040 --> 0:25:47.800 all the time. You can't just like you can't just 0:25:47.880 --> 0:25:50.359 pull up your stakes and run off the whole time. 0:25:51.520 --> 0:25:54.320 But here's that's the way I'm doing to me until 0:25:54.359 --> 0:25:57.480 the day I doe. So that's me. 0:25:58.680 --> 0:26:00.920 So is that is that the way you feel about 0:26:00.960 --> 0:26:04.240 yourself and about your life is that continually you're You're 0:26:04.440 --> 0:26:06.159 like you're running away. 0:26:09.240 --> 0:26:15.000 Or I'm just totally impulsive. Right, but give an impulse 0:26:15.040 --> 0:26:17.000 and I just take it, and I'm like, I'll go 0:26:17.040 --> 0:26:24.080 buy a ticket and fly away. Right, I've done that 0:26:24.240 --> 0:26:29.439 to I here. So yeah, and it gets expensive, you 0:26:29.480 --> 0:26:32.520 know for old people to go buy tickets and things 0:26:32.560 --> 0:26:37.800 and fly away, yeah, or fly back? Okay, I haven't. Yeah, 0:26:38.880 --> 0:26:42.480 that's that's even harder like that. 0:26:43.520 --> 0:26:49.280 So in in in seventy years, do you have anything 0:26:50.119 --> 0:26:50.959 that you regret? 0:26:55.080 --> 0:27:00.679 I not, No, no freaking way, I don't regret nothing. 0:27:02.119 --> 0:27:07.520 I've got four children, I've got eight grandchildren, and I 0:27:07.640 --> 0:27:09.960 just love everythreaking one of them. But I just want 0:27:10.000 --> 0:27:11.399 them to see how it went from me. 0:27:14.960 --> 0:27:16.760 So you have you didn't even mention that you didn't 0:27:16.800 --> 0:27:20.120 mention that you had h you had children and grandchildren. 0:27:22.920 --> 0:27:25.399 I know I can't tell you everything. It's a little 0:27:25.440 --> 0:27:28.560 short thing here, but all I mean I could do 0:27:28.720 --> 0:27:34.560 balling you. I've been a prospector. I've dug four hundred 0:27:34.560 --> 0:27:37.639 and ten yards a tonnel underground by hand with the 0:27:37.840 --> 0:27:41.960 sledge hammer, a pig bar and a wheelbarrow, you know, 0:27:42.200 --> 0:27:46.359 and a candle light. I've done a lot of the 0:27:46.440 --> 0:27:51.600 things that the old timers did. I'm old timer too. 0:27:52.960 --> 0:27:58.359 Do you ever do you ever see your children and grandchildren? 0:27:58.400 --> 0:28:01.560 I cut thousands? What's that did? 0:28:01.640 --> 0:28:03.440 Do you ever see your children and grandchildren? 0:28:06.080 --> 0:28:10.840 Mm hmmm? You know on messenger and stuff? Mm hmm. 0:28:12.840 --> 0:28:17.680 Yeah, you're pretty tech savvy, super considering. Uh, how you 0:28:17.680 --> 0:28:21.600 you're you're talking about doing all of being an old timer? 0:28:24.000 --> 0:28:27.439 Yeah, man, I went to I've been to college a 0:28:27.480 --> 0:28:31.960 couple of times, and I could have been a distinguished 0:28:32.040 --> 0:28:35.960 honor student if I just stayed there other semester. I've 0:28:36.000 --> 0:28:41.400 got this the knowledge, you know, educated gold for however, 0:28:43.560 --> 0:28:46.640 I don't know education helps you to be more social 0:28:46.680 --> 0:28:49.920 and not probably not m hm. 0:28:51.320 --> 0:28:51.640 M hm. 0:28:54.280 --> 0:28:55.720 I'm a hard case house dick. 0:28:57.840 --> 0:29:02.360 So do you have any any advice for anyone out 0:29:02.400 --> 0:29:06.600 there listening to this of anything that you have have 0:29:06.760 --> 0:29:10.120 learned in your time of solitude and introspection? 0:29:12.120 --> 0:29:16.120 My dolly ideas, Jack, I got. I've got advice for 0:29:16.360 --> 0:29:23.560 the young folks out there. Please don't don't get a 0:29:23.720 --> 0:29:28.240 job and work yourself hard to hurt yourself, you know, 0:29:29.520 --> 0:29:32.600 don't hurt your back working for somebody. Just if you 0:29:32.720 --> 0:29:35.320 have to just be a bomb, you know, because you'll 0:29:35.360 --> 0:29:38.760 be okay. You make enough word me to feed yourself, 0:29:38.800 --> 0:29:42.760 you'll be okay. You won't hurt yourself, and you'll laugh longer. 0:29:43.400 --> 0:29:46.960 And then if you gotta get married, don't have children 0:29:47.280 --> 0:29:50.680 until you're in your late forties. If you have to 0:29:50.920 --> 0:29:55.080 just adopt a seventeen year old that kids stuff, I don't. 0:29:55.200 --> 0:30:00.040 That's no way. Let me have great here. Yeah, so 0:30:00.200 --> 0:30:00.720 there you go. 0:30:01.640 --> 0:30:05.400 Did you have a hard time raising your kids? What 0:30:06.160 --> 0:30:09.640 did you have a hard time raising your kids? 0:30:10.000 --> 0:30:15.280 No? I believe with my youngest daughter. And she's an intelligent, 0:30:15.440 --> 0:30:21.560 freaking person, I know. And wow, Yeah, she's an artist 0:30:21.760 --> 0:30:26.800 and she's you know, she's on top of her you know, 0:30:26.920 --> 0:30:30.640 she's only twenty one and she makes several hundred dollars 0:30:30.680 --> 0:30:33.440 a day, way more than I ever did it. Hurry, 0:30:33.480 --> 0:30:38.600 I guess for sure. Yeah, successful young woman. She's married 0:30:38.600 --> 0:30:45.320 to a pirate. She's nice too. Yeah, he's an actual pirate. 0:30:46.120 --> 0:30:48.480 She's married to an actual Where did she where does 0:30:48.520 --> 0:30:49.880 she meet an actual pirate? 0:30:51.640 --> 0:30:55.360 You not Eyman wine right, and she told me that 0:30:55.480 --> 0:30:58.640 she would never ever get married, and by god, she's 0:30:58.640 --> 0:31:03.920 married again, you know, somewhere off over in Washington, somewhere 0:31:04.360 --> 0:31:10.560 he was he's stationed there as a pirate and until like, yeah, 0:31:11.280 --> 0:31:13.120 I don't think they get along just fine. 0:31:16.400 --> 0:31:20.240 Well, Teelor, you said your name. 0:31:20.200 --> 0:31:26.360 Was Killer, like a boat tiller or a road to Killer, 0:31:26.680 --> 0:31:30.800 something like, you know, like that, that kind of killer Tiller. 0:31:30.840 --> 0:31:33.520 Any any final thoughts, feelings, sentiments that you wish to 0:31:33.520 --> 0:31:34.320 share before we go. 0:31:36.400 --> 0:31:39.240 I think your show is really cool, doctor Gak, and 0:31:39.360 --> 0:31:40.160 I'll continue. 0:31:41.640 --> 0:31:43.120 Thank you very much to welcome in. 0:31:45.640 --> 0:31:47.880 You have good evening you as well. 0:31:49.880 --> 0:31:59.600 Shout out to Tiller. Very interesting, very interesting perspective, Uh 0:32:00.320 --> 0:32:03.120 from Tiller. There's a lot of unpack out of that. 0:32:03.160 --> 0:32:07.560 The idea of there's an idea that I think about 0:32:07.600 --> 0:32:10.880 over time, where like you know, society tells us that, 0:32:12.200 --> 0:32:14.959 I mean, what is the thesis of every Disney movie, 0:32:15.040 --> 0:32:17.560 of a lot of things, is that the most important 0:32:17.600 --> 0:32:21.160 thing in life is friends and family? But what if 0:32:21.160 --> 0:32:28.960 it's not. What about Tiller? He seems like he's having 0:32:29.000 --> 0:32:30.480 a great time. I don't know if he's having a 0:32:30.520 --> 0:32:35.920 great time, but he seemed like it. People can seem 0:32:35.960 --> 0:32:38.040 like a lot of things and not be those things. 0:32:38.040 --> 0:32:39.360 But I don't know. I'm not going to say one 0:32:39.360 --> 0:32:42.920 way or the other. But he seems like he's chilling. 0:32:43.400 --> 0:32:48.960 He seems like he loves. He seemed like he love, 0:32:49.200 --> 0:32:53.320 He had love right. He clearly loved. I don't know 0:32:53.320 --> 0:32:55.360 if it was his daughter or his granddaughter that he 0:32:55.400 --> 0:32:59.280 was talking about, but he clearly loved her, clearly loved 0:32:59.280 --> 0:33:05.000 his children, but also love nothing more than his alone time, 0:33:05.920 --> 0:33:09.960 his books. Where the hell did she meet a pirate? 0:33:11.400 --> 0:33:14.240 It was the one thing I wasn't sure about. Hello, 0:33:15.280 --> 0:33:18.280 big gek, Hello is this Daniel? 0:33:18.760 --> 0:33:20.200 Yes, this is what's up with? 0:33:20.240 --> 0:33:23.040 Do not a whole lot? Is there anything in particular 0:33:23.040 --> 0:33:26.840 that you want to talk about today? 0:33:27.760 --> 0:33:31.120 I have a couple of things, A couple of things here, Okay, 0:33:31.360 --> 0:33:35.480 tell me Number one. I just found out that we 0:33:35.560 --> 0:33:45.400 have a marijuana farmer's market where I live. Okay, that's 0:33:45.480 --> 0:33:48.360 kind of exciting. I'm new to the world of marijuana, 0:33:48.600 --> 0:33:51.000 so I'm like, I'm kind of stoked about it a 0:33:51.000 --> 0:33:51.440 little bit. 0:33:52.280 --> 0:33:54.320 Daniel, you had a particular thing that you told the 0:33:54.320 --> 0:33:56.040 call screener that you wanted to talk about and I 0:33:56.080 --> 0:33:58.920 can tell that you are sort of skirting around it. 0:33:58.960 --> 0:33:59.680 Why are you doing that? 0:34:02.920 --> 0:34:05.840 It's it's kind of the I don't know, it's it's 0:34:06.280 --> 0:34:10.120 a little a little nervous thing. It's a little it's 0:34:10.120 --> 0:34:12.200 a little bit of a anxiety to talk about it. 0:34:12.360 --> 0:34:12.719 I don't know. 0:34:14.280 --> 0:34:14.600 I don't. 0:34:14.680 --> 0:34:16.880 I don't usually open up to the random geck of 0:34:16.880 --> 0:34:17.400 the internet. 0:34:18.080 --> 0:34:19.759 Mm hm m hm hm. 0:34:23.719 --> 0:34:27.160 Well, Daniel, it says here that you have a crush 0:34:27.200 --> 0:34:28.280 on one of your co workers. 0:34:30.840 --> 0:34:40.040 That is true, This is true. She's she's very I 0:34:40.080 --> 0:34:43.400 don't know, she's she's nice, she's she lasts in my jokes, 0:34:43.400 --> 0:34:47.400 which I think is is pretty stellar. She appreciates my 0:34:47.520 --> 0:34:51.400 meat both puns after after the singer died our ip. 0:34:53.160 --> 0:34:54.560 And she's pretty cool. 0:34:55.480 --> 0:34:57.799 Mm hmm. So are you are you going to make 0:34:57.840 --> 0:35:02.520 any attempt to to get to know her about her, 0:35:02.560 --> 0:35:07.680 to talk to her about things, to go on a 0:35:07.760 --> 0:35:13.400 date with her, to somehow action upon your crush. 0:35:14.080 --> 0:35:18.560 So yes, actually, but she just broke up with her boyfriend, 0:35:18.640 --> 0:35:20.080 so I'm trying to give it a little bit of 0:35:20.120 --> 0:35:23.560 time so that she can heal. But I did invite 0:35:23.600 --> 0:35:25.440 her to go to the farmer's market with me, to 0:35:25.560 --> 0:35:26.360 check out all the weeds. 0:35:27.000 --> 0:35:32.080 Okay, all right, so this so everything does ultimately come 0:35:32.120 --> 0:35:34.680 back to each other. This there there there was in 0:35:34.719 --> 0:35:37.640 fact an element to you bringing up this farmer's market. 0:35:37.719 --> 0:35:40.839 You've invited her to the farmer's markets to to go 0:35:40.840 --> 0:35:42.799 buy weed. And how did she respond to that? 0:35:45.719 --> 0:35:49.640 She just said it was interesting. It's it's over the weekend, 0:35:49.719 --> 0:35:52.279 so she's she's given them some talking to think about it. 0:35:52.520 --> 0:35:55.759 But she has been bringing up how she wants to 0:35:55.760 --> 0:35:58.719 hang out with friends outside of works more and she 0:35:58.800 --> 0:36:01.200 wants to really she invited me to go at her 0:36:01.200 --> 0:36:06.200 New Year's party. Yeah, so I'm thinking there could be something, 0:36:06.440 --> 0:36:08.399 but I don't want to you know, push my luck 0:36:08.480 --> 0:36:11.279 and you know, review all my cards and then have 0:36:11.400 --> 0:36:12.520 it all cave in on me. 0:36:12.600 --> 0:36:16.880 You know, why are you so adverse to I mean, 0:36:16.920 --> 0:36:20.520 even in this phone call, you seem uh not, not 0:36:20.600 --> 0:36:23.839 even in this phone call, or or or in your 0:36:24.520 --> 0:36:28.520 interactions with your friends or with with people you're romantically 0:36:28.560 --> 0:36:32.640 interested in, you seem to not want to show all 0:36:32.680 --> 0:36:34.200 of your cards just in general. 0:36:37.880 --> 0:36:41.320 I guess so, I'm I'm just kind of a reserved person. 0:36:41.360 --> 0:36:43.720 I feel like if I put everything out in the open, 0:36:44.719 --> 0:36:47.080 somehow it could come back to invite me. I like 0:36:47.120 --> 0:36:49.520 to have a little bit of a mystery too that way, 0:36:49.560 --> 0:36:51.280 like I'm more intriguing. 0:36:52.160 --> 0:37:00.640 Mmmmmmm okay, And and does your does I are not 0:37:00.680 --> 0:37:05.080 to show all of your cards? Is it come from 0:37:05.120 --> 0:37:08.560 a fear of showing your cards? Or is this an 0:37:08.600 --> 0:37:14.520 intentional ploy to see in a certain way, Because to 0:37:14.520 --> 0:37:15.560 be honest, I don't like. 0:37:15.520 --> 0:37:17.120 Either of both. 0:37:20.040 --> 0:37:20.560 Yeah I. 0:37:22.320 --> 0:37:22.520 Could. 0:37:22.680 --> 0:37:26.680 I feel like, why do you desire to to appear 0:37:26.719 --> 0:37:27.560 more mysterious? 0:37:31.160 --> 0:37:34.439 I think it just adds that much more interest for others, 0:37:34.480 --> 0:37:38.720 Like like you know, people when they watch a show 0:37:39.000 --> 0:37:41.279 doing the show off on a cliffhanger for some episodes 0:37:41.520 --> 0:37:43.520 and you think, oh my god, what's going to happen next? 0:37:43.520 --> 0:37:46.239 And it leaves you like wondering it's so interested and 0:37:46.280 --> 0:37:49.040 stay invested. I feel like if I show some sort 0:37:49.080 --> 0:37:53.359 of mystery to myself, like well founded mystery. I don't 0:37:53.360 --> 0:37:56.520 make stuff up, but I kind of reserve just enough 0:37:56.560 --> 0:37:58.759 so that you know, they could she could be more 0:37:58.800 --> 0:38:01.280 interested and say, okay, so the one that like she 0:38:01.280 --> 0:38:03.759 she's asked me all questions about you know, the next 0:38:03.760 --> 0:38:06.840 car I'm gonna buy and stuff, and I just I 0:38:06.960 --> 0:38:09.360 try to try to leave some sort of reservation from that. 0:38:09.800 --> 0:38:13.120 But also, like I said, I feel like if I 0:38:13.160 --> 0:38:15.560 open up, they could be used to against me, to like, 0:38:16.719 --> 0:38:20.080 I don't know, exploit my insecurity. 0:38:20.840 --> 0:38:27.200 Totally, totally, totally, totally, I totally hear what you're saying, Daniel. 0:38:27.440 --> 0:38:30.239 You know, man, I'm gonna tell you. I know, I 0:38:30.280 --> 0:38:31.719 just went on a hold shpiel about how don't want 0:38:31.719 --> 0:38:36.440 to give advice. But that's a terrible uh. I I 0:38:36.800 --> 0:38:42.239 unfortunately host what some may consider an advice podcast, But 0:38:42.680 --> 0:38:48.200 I will tell you in my own personal life, when 0:38:48.200 --> 0:38:55.080 it comes to the realm of sort of uh, romantic 0:38:57.320 --> 0:39:03.880 hobble gobble or not not even not even romantic hobble gobble, 0:39:03.960 --> 0:39:08.120 business hobble gobble, relate, friendship hobble gobble, all types of 0:39:08.120 --> 0:39:12.399 hobble gobble, I have found that the more I can 0:39:12.600 --> 0:39:23.000 just be without trying to change my personality or strategize. 0:39:23.080 --> 0:39:28.080 Everyone's very obsessed with strategizing the various ways they can 0:39:28.120 --> 0:39:31.000 say this cool thing or act this certain way to 0:39:31.080 --> 0:39:35.000 get this person to think that of them or whatnot. 0:39:35.360 --> 0:39:38.680 And I don't know about you, but I used to 0:39:38.680 --> 0:39:40.759 do a lot, and don't get me wrong, I still 0:39:40.800 --> 0:39:45.719 do my fair share of doing that. But every time 0:39:45.760 --> 0:39:50.000 I find myself doing that, it feels just stressful. It 0:39:50.080 --> 0:39:54.800 feels just like, you know, I've been so much happy 0:39:55.520 --> 0:39:57.799 in this situation. It's a lot of work to try 0:39:57.840 --> 0:40:02.000 to seem a certain way, and I find myself happier 0:40:02.320 --> 0:40:08.480 when I can just be and people, naturally, I've noticed, 0:40:08.719 --> 0:40:15.680 will either be attracted to who I am when I 0:40:15.719 --> 0:40:20.080 am just being or they will not be right. But 0:40:20.239 --> 0:40:22.839 I don't go out of my way. I try, I try. 0:40:22.880 --> 0:40:24.400 I never want to present to any of this is 0:40:24.400 --> 0:40:26.240 if I'm the master of it, because I'm totally, totally, 0:40:26.280 --> 0:40:28.719 totally not. But this is just where I would ultimately 0:40:28.800 --> 0:40:31.319 like to be in my life. That's what I'm telling you. 0:40:31.680 --> 0:40:38.200 I try to just be exist and not try to 0:40:38.239 --> 0:40:41.640 seem a certain way to people, because it just makes 0:40:41.680 --> 0:40:44.520 me happier. It makes me feel better about myself. It 0:40:44.560 --> 0:40:46.680 makes me feel a little bit less like I'm putting 0:40:46.719 --> 0:40:49.560 on a thing of a way to try to be 0:40:50.000 --> 0:40:55.360 and it just skips so many unnecessary steps. Like, for example, 0:40:56.040 --> 0:40:59.080 something I've been trying working on lately, again not a 0:40:59.120 --> 0:41:01.719 master of it, but been working on it is if 0:41:01.760 --> 0:41:06.239 I'm ever texting with someone and I find myself rewriting 0:41:06.280 --> 0:41:08.080 and writing a text to try, like you know how, 0:41:08.160 --> 0:41:11.040 you know how it is, trying to craft the perfect 0:41:11.080 --> 0:41:16.359 text that sounds the perfect way, right. I've decided I'm 0:41:16.400 --> 0:41:19.360 not I've decided I'm not gonna do that anymore. I've decided. 0:41:20.080 --> 0:41:22.200 And I look at my text with people and I'm 0:41:22.239 --> 0:41:24.279 like and every and I want them to look all 0:41:24.320 --> 0:41:27.160 the same. I don't want to text one person one 0:41:27.800 --> 0:41:31.600 sort of cool way and one person like more like RelA. 0:41:32.040 --> 0:41:38.000 Just I just exist. I am, and people either well 0:41:38.080 --> 0:41:42.080 like me or they won't. But I'm I'm tired of 0:41:42.120 --> 0:41:44.520 trying to craft the cool text, trying to say the 0:41:44.560 --> 0:41:50.480 cool thing. It's it's exhausting. It's so much outward effort, 0:41:50.640 --> 0:41:59.120 where you could, instead, Daniel, focus on improving the aspects 0:41:59.160 --> 0:42:05.280 of your personality that you yourself are proud of, leaning 0:42:05.320 --> 0:42:11.000 more into yourself and confidently trying to express that self 0:42:11.640 --> 0:42:15.360 out into the world. Again, I'm not an expert of that, 0:42:15.440 --> 0:42:18.239 but that's the philosophy that I like to undertake when 0:42:18.320 --> 0:42:20.680 it comes to things like this. So I get why 0:42:20.719 --> 0:42:25.439 you want I get why you want to create an 0:42:25.520 --> 0:42:29.239 air of mystery. But here's the thing. This girl that 0:42:29.320 --> 0:42:34.239 you like, she's either going to like you or she's not. 0:42:35.200 --> 0:42:42.919 And in reality, the like the idea that you can 0:42:43.040 --> 0:42:47.600 say some cool thing or act some cool way that 0:42:47.719 --> 0:42:59.160 will change that is faulty, I think, and I think 0:42:59.200 --> 0:43:02.520 you would be better off focusing on just being yourself 0:43:02.560 --> 0:43:06.520 as much as you possibly can and projecting that as 0:43:06.560 --> 0:43:09.680 authentically as you possibly can, and then see who sticks around. 0:43:10.480 --> 0:43:13.680 It'll be a much it's a tougher journey, for sure, 0:43:14.320 --> 0:43:18.000 but it will be a better long term strategy for 0:43:18.080 --> 0:43:20.839 you than to try to see a mysterious what do 0:43:20.880 --> 0:43:21.680 you think about all that? 0:43:24.560 --> 0:43:28.040 I think that's a very well put and very well founded, 0:43:28.239 --> 0:43:30.719 because there are times when I'm talking with her, like 0:43:30.960 --> 0:43:33.560 I'll bring up things about myself, like you know, a 0:43:33.600 --> 0:43:36.880 playlist I made for my funeral, and like the things 0:43:36.880 --> 0:43:39.759 that just that are more about me and less like 0:43:39.840 --> 0:43:43.480 you know, act like made up or left to you know, 0:43:43.560 --> 0:43:47.360 kind of persuade her, like you said, but like when 0:43:47.400 --> 0:43:50.200 I have those types of conversations, it just feels more 0:43:50.239 --> 0:43:53.120 genuine and more authentic, and it's just a lot easier 0:43:53.160 --> 0:43:56.440 to do. But the example that you had is text 0:43:56.480 --> 0:44:00.160 is beautifully crafted. When you have to sit there and 0:44:00.200 --> 0:44:03.320 rewrite the text over and over. It just it doesn't 0:44:03.360 --> 0:44:06.600 feel natural, it doesn't feel correct. So I agree with 0:44:06.600 --> 0:44:10.640 what are you doing yourself? And that's that's something that 0:44:10.680 --> 0:44:13.520 I I kind of want to pick one up. So 0:44:13.680 --> 0:44:14.680 thanks for shouldn't like. 0:44:14.719 --> 0:44:17.839 To that for sure, Daniel. I wish you good luck. 0:44:17.880 --> 0:44:19.640 And again, as I said, I'm not an expert of 0:44:19.680 --> 0:44:23.319 these things. I'm trying to do them alongside uh you, 0:44:23.520 --> 0:44:26.920 So you know, I hope that I hope that that 0:44:26.960 --> 0:44:28.120 helped inform something. 0:44:31.280 --> 0:44:32.160 It really did. 0:44:32.360 --> 0:44:33.960 It kind of opened up my eyes a little bit. 0:44:34.600 --> 0:44:37.360 So thank you, appreciate it, Thank you for calling Daniel. 0:44:39.840 --> 0:44:40.719 Thank you enjoying it. 0:44:42.280 --> 0:44:44.319 Oh fae, I cut him off before he said to 0:44:44.400 --> 0:44:47.680 enjoy the rest of my day. Now my day is 0:44:47.719 --> 0:44:51.400 gonna suck. I seriously do that. I fucking made up. 0:44:51.440 --> 0:44:53.560 I made a promise to myself. I made a promise 0:44:53.560 --> 0:44:58.480 to myself and maybe you guys will join me. But 0:44:58.880 --> 0:45:02.560 every if I've ever if I'm crafting a text back 0:45:02.760 --> 0:45:05.799 for more than five minutes or something I've been doing, 0:45:05.800 --> 0:45:09.120 I've been doing this lately. I'll catch myself if I'm 0:45:09.840 --> 0:45:13.000 trying to craft the perfect text or email or whatever 0:45:13.040 --> 0:45:16.520 it is, and I'll go with the fuck am I 0:45:16.680 --> 0:45:18.640 just send it who gives it? Because at the I 0:45:20.080 --> 0:45:25.719 fucking genuinely believe. I fucking genuinely believe that whatever it 0:45:25.800 --> 0:45:27.400 is you want from the person, whether it's you want 0:45:27.440 --> 0:45:28.600 them to go on a date with you, you want them 0:45:28.640 --> 0:45:31.480 to be friends with you, you want them to work with 0:45:31.520 --> 0:45:34.279 you in some sort of business capacity, whatever it is, 0:45:35.040 --> 0:45:38.719 they kind of already will want to or won't want to, 0:45:39.520 --> 0:45:42.839 I think, And the amounts that you can influence whether 0:45:42.920 --> 0:45:46.160 or not they will or won't by whatever it is 0:45:46.239 --> 0:45:49.920 you say in your text, aside from the outliers, if 0:45:49.920 --> 0:45:54.960 you like, say something that's completely crazy, you know, but 0:45:55.000 --> 0:45:57.319 I believe that the amount of influence that you can 0:45:57.360 --> 0:46:03.319 have by the crafting the perfect whatever it's kind of low. 0:46:04.400 --> 0:46:06.520 Think about it like this. Think about the person you 0:46:06.560 --> 0:46:09.759 have a crush on, right if they texted you, you 0:46:09.800 --> 0:46:12.520 would respond It doesn't matter what they It doesn't really 0:46:12.600 --> 0:46:14.759 matter what they say. They could send an emoji, they 0:46:14.760 --> 0:46:18.000 could send a thing with five exclamation points, it doesn't matter. 0:46:18.000 --> 0:46:21.880 You would respond why because you want to. It doesn't 0:46:21.880 --> 0:46:23.880 matter what they say. People either will want to or 0:46:23.920 --> 0:46:26.719 won't want to. That's just what I think but I'm 0:46:26.719 --> 0:46:32.840 a crazy get go guy on the computer. Hello, Why 0:46:32.920 --> 0:46:33.319 how are you? 0:46:35.320 --> 0:46:36.080 I'm doing well? 0:46:36.080 --> 0:46:36.600 How are you? 0:46:38.800 --> 0:46:42.759 I'm doing I'm doing good. It says here that you 0:46:42.800 --> 0:46:44.640 are a therapist and you would like to talk about 0:46:44.640 --> 0:46:47.319 the difference between what I do and actual therapy, and 0:46:47.480 --> 0:46:49.120 I would love to have this conversation. 0:46:52.120 --> 0:46:56.360 Yeah, I'd love to have a conversation. I was telling 0:46:56.400 --> 0:46:59.640 the screener guy that I was super stoked to even 0:46:59.680 --> 0:47:02.520 get to that point because I tried calling many times 0:47:02.680 --> 0:47:05.719 and have never been able to get through. And then yeah, 0:47:05.840 --> 0:47:07.799 I was just I'm a big fan. I follow you 0:47:07.840 --> 0:47:09.480 on the ground, follow you on stream. 0:47:09.920 --> 0:47:10.960 It's really cool. 0:47:11.960 --> 0:47:14.320 Thank you, thank you. I'm excited to have this conversation. 0:47:15.800 --> 0:47:17.719 This is going to sound out of context when I 0:47:17.760 --> 0:47:22.200 put it into a podcast. But we did just have 0:47:22.239 --> 0:47:26.319 a caller call in saying that they were hanging on 0:47:26.400 --> 0:47:30.760 a thread, and I had to decline that call because 0:47:32.840 --> 0:47:35.360 it felt a little bit too too intense for me, 0:47:35.400 --> 0:47:38.040 and I felt as though I felt as though it's 0:47:38.200 --> 0:47:41.960 it would be responsible to take a call like that, 0:47:42.040 --> 0:47:44.480 even though you know, I do hope that person gets help. 0:47:44.760 --> 0:47:48.200 What do you think about that, Tiffany, Yeah. 0:47:48.080 --> 0:47:51.240 No, I was actually watching that, and I was like, huh, 0:47:52.239 --> 0:47:55.440 and I felt very nervous for you and that conversation. 0:47:55.719 --> 0:47:57.719 I think you handled it great. 0:47:59.280 --> 0:48:02.799 So tell me. You said the differences between what I 0:48:02.840 --> 0:48:05.359 do and actual therapy, I I I, you know, I'd 0:48:05.360 --> 0:48:06.719 love to hear your thoughts on all this. 0:48:08.760 --> 0:48:08.960 Well. 0:48:09.040 --> 0:48:13.120 I mean, I I've I view what you do as 0:48:13.239 --> 0:48:16.600 as entertainment, but with you know, very genuine flair. I 0:48:17.000 --> 0:48:19.440 you know, obviously this is unscripted. You don't know who's 0:48:19.480 --> 0:48:23.839 going to be giving you a call and uh, and 0:48:23.880 --> 0:48:26.319 so you know, I think you bring yourself and and 0:48:26.400 --> 0:48:32.320 your reactions, your genuine reactions into that dynamic, and oftentimes 0:48:32.320 --> 0:48:37.040 it's very funny, that's super hilarious, hence the entertainment value. 0:48:37.360 --> 0:48:42.480 But I really appreciate your your kind of authenticity in 0:48:42.520 --> 0:48:45.080 in these conversations. So as far as what I think 0:48:45.239 --> 0:48:48.160 is different between what you and I do, is I 0:48:48.200 --> 0:48:52.120 operate out of a therapeutic orientation. I was trained extensively 0:48:52.239 --> 0:48:57.279 in uh, mental health, you know, mental disorders. You know, 0:48:57.320 --> 0:49:02.120 I often work collaboratively with an entire treatment team, and 0:49:02.480 --> 0:49:06.000 I mean I've treated things like suicidality and self harm 0:49:06.040 --> 0:49:09.200 and things like that, and have a kind of therapeutic 0:49:09.320 --> 0:49:12.960 orientation to operate out from to treat that. So, I mean, 0:49:13.000 --> 0:49:14.560 I view what you and I do is very different. 0:49:14.560 --> 0:49:16.799 But what I really appreciate about what you do is 0:49:16.840 --> 0:49:20.520 this uh kind of genuineness that you bring into the dynamic. 0:49:20.600 --> 0:49:23.399 And that's something you know. As a therapist, I am 0:49:23.440 --> 0:49:26.280 by profession, but I always like to tell my clients 0:49:26.280 --> 0:49:29.720 like I'm a I'm a human first and therapist as well, 0:49:29.760 --> 0:49:32.880 but you know, I try to bring my genuine self 0:49:33.040 --> 0:49:35.600 in the interactions I have with my clients as well. 0:49:35.680 --> 0:49:38.240 So yeah, I mean, I think those are kind of 0:49:38.280 --> 0:49:39.879 the big differences. 0:49:41.120 --> 0:49:44.919 Does that what ever come to you and you feel 0:49:44.960 --> 0:49:47.680 as though you cannot help them? 0:49:47.719 --> 0:49:47.879 Oh? 0:49:47.920 --> 0:49:48.560 Absolutely. 0:49:48.960 --> 0:49:52.800 Anytime I get into territory where I feel like, you know, 0:49:52.840 --> 0:49:56.719 it's out of my expertise, I I really try to 0:49:56.840 --> 0:50:00.480 understand my limitations and be very transparent out them. I 0:50:00.480 --> 0:50:03.800 think that's part of my my realness and genuineness in 0:50:03.800 --> 0:50:06.800 in my treatment is you know, heye, you're telling me 0:50:06.840 --> 0:50:10.040 about these things and it is really not in my 0:50:10.239 --> 0:50:13.160 scope of expertise. So you know, I do recommend UH 0:50:13.320 --> 0:50:17.960 treatment in X Y or Z area, but that happens frequently. 0:50:18.920 --> 0:50:23.960 Mm hmm hmm, do you think do you do? You 0:50:24.360 --> 0:50:31.560 do you have a optimistic viewpoint that everyone can be 0:50:31.680 --> 0:50:33.880 helped or have you ever met someone or had a 0:50:33.880 --> 0:50:37.319 client come in and be like, there is no hope 0:50:37.320 --> 0:50:37.880 for this person. 0:50:41.600 --> 0:50:49.319 I generally have an optimistic perspective that's largely based in 0:50:49.400 --> 0:50:53.719 my therapeutic training and my involvement in research. I have 0:50:53.760 --> 0:50:58.600 a lot of hope for treatment outcomes and treatment development. 0:50:58.840 --> 0:51:02.239 And I've worked and you know, really severe populations, and 0:51:02.280 --> 0:51:06.759 I've seen progress and recovery. So I I do, you know, 0:51:06.800 --> 0:51:09.080 And if I didn't have a sense of hope, I 0:51:09.080 --> 0:51:11.760 don't think I'd be doing what I'm doing. That being said, 0:51:12.480 --> 0:51:14.880 especially in the past couple of years of the pandemic, 0:51:15.239 --> 0:51:21.960 mental health has has really declined and it's incredibly tiring, 0:51:22.480 --> 0:51:25.160 I will say, and I've felt more burnt out than 0:51:25.200 --> 0:51:31.040 I have in a long time. But I would say 0:51:31.040 --> 0:51:33.279 I do have hope, and I think it's it's not 0:51:33.360 --> 0:51:36.440 a it's not a black or white answer either. I 0:51:36.440 --> 0:51:40.120 think there's certain populations that have worse prognosis and and 0:51:40.160 --> 0:51:43.239 some that have better prognosis. But it doesn't mean that 0:51:43.280 --> 0:51:46.960 there isn't still a chance and that if you know they're. 0:51:46.840 --> 0:51:52.120 Part of who I treat that I. 0:51:51.239 --> 0:51:55.200 Have zero kind of hope in even some improvement in 0:51:55.239 --> 0:51:59.680 their conditions. 0:51:57.800 --> 0:52:04.319 Ms burnt out by m hm doing all of this work. 0:52:04.400 --> 0:52:08.920 What do you do when you get burnt out to 0:52:09.120 --> 0:52:10.040 revive yourself? 0:52:10.040 --> 0:52:16.320 Oh, I take vacations. I have a really supportive partner. 0:52:16.640 --> 0:52:19.960 I just I really try to kind of distance myself 0:52:20.000 --> 0:52:25.719 and get myself out out away from work. I like 0:52:25.760 --> 0:52:28.360 to treat myself. You know, doesn't hurt to buy a 0:52:28.440 --> 0:52:31.640 nice pair of shoes, doesn't hurt to you know, go 0:52:31.760 --> 0:52:35.000 out to a nice dinner. It doesn't mean, yeah, I'm saying, 0:52:35.160 --> 0:52:40.800 like treat yourself. I like just shopping. I like cooking. 0:52:40.840 --> 0:52:42.520 There's a lot of things I like doing, and those 0:52:42.560 --> 0:52:44.920 are all. You know, there's forms of self care that 0:52:44.960 --> 0:52:47.879 I think are a little bit more indulgent. And then 0:52:47.920 --> 0:52:50.279 there's you know, the day to day, my. 0:52:50.280 --> 0:52:54.799 Dog, What do you when? What are you doing when 0:52:54.840 --> 0:52:57.080 you find what are you doing when you find yourself indulging? 0:52:59.040 --> 0:53:01.880 Oh? Oh, like like the fancy dinners. You know, like 0:53:02.920 --> 0:53:05.840 fancy dinners or I, you know, treat myself as something 0:53:05.960 --> 0:53:08.800 extra expensive. And yet it's hard because it's a therapist. 0:53:08.840 --> 0:53:10.440 You don't make all that much money. You don't go 0:53:10.480 --> 0:53:11.920 into the profession for the big. 0:53:11.760 --> 0:53:14.160 Dollars, but. 0:53:15.960 --> 0:53:20.239 You know, I do enjoy just at least feeling like 0:53:20.280 --> 0:53:23.080 I'm treating myself. You know, I'm a. 0:53:23.040 --> 0:53:24.280 Big dirict shopper. 0:53:24.400 --> 0:53:28.239 I like feels, and so you know, if I like 0:53:28.320 --> 0:53:31.160 go to you know, TJ Max or Nordstrom rack and 0:53:31.200 --> 0:53:33.680 find something that was would otherwise be hundreds of dollars 0:53:33.680 --> 0:53:36.719 that I've scored for like twenty that's like one of 0:53:36.760 --> 0:53:40.080 the most fun things for me to do. Hm. 0:53:42.480 --> 0:53:47.080 Hmm. Okay, so you're a real therapist. You burn out sometimes, 0:53:47.120 --> 0:53:52.440 but you go to the olive garden and fun shape. 0:53:54.120 --> 0:53:54.400 Hmm. 0:53:54.719 --> 0:53:57.200 What other questions do I have for you as a 0:53:57.120 --> 0:54:01.040 as a real therapist? What I'm doing illegal? 0:54:03.360 --> 0:54:05.760 I don't think so. But also I'm not a lawyer, 0:54:05.920 --> 0:54:11.600 so you know, I couldn't give you that specific answer. 0:54:12.400 --> 0:54:14.880 I don't think. I think you're very clear about what 0:54:14.960 --> 0:54:15.279 you do. 0:54:16.080 --> 0:54:19.240 Yeah, I mean I'm not a real Uh couldn't imagine 0:54:19.239 --> 0:54:27.640 being a real therapist. That sounds that sounds tough. It is. 0:54:27.800 --> 0:54:30.400 It's it's not an easy job. But I think the 0:54:30.680 --> 0:54:33.240 training to go into a therapist helps me to feel 0:54:33.600 --> 0:54:35.120 well equipped to do what I do. 0:54:36.360 --> 0:54:41.399 Yeah, I mean I hate being a fake one sometimes, you. 0:54:41.320 --> 0:54:46.400 Know, but to be honest, things like this, watching your 0:54:46.440 --> 0:54:48.840 feed and following you is something I do. 0:54:48.719 --> 0:54:49.319 For self care. 0:54:49.440 --> 0:54:51.719 I really enjoy what you do and it brings like, 0:54:52.360 --> 0:54:55.520 you know, happiness into my day. And I've I've shared 0:54:55.560 --> 0:54:58.480 your content with my other therapist friends and we all 0:54:58.480 --> 0:55:00.719 get a you know, good laugh out of out of 0:55:00.719 --> 0:55:02.160 what you do and it's really nice. 0:55:03.360 --> 0:55:06.080 Well, damn, thank you very much, Tiffany. I appreciate all 0:55:06.120 --> 0:55:10.200 the kind words. And hmm, is there is there a 0:55:10.360 --> 0:55:14.000 before we go? I is there anything in particular else 0:55:14.040 --> 0:55:17.000 that you want to say before before we depart and 0:55:17.040 --> 0:55:18.120 never see each other again. 0:55:19.480 --> 0:55:22.080 Well, you know, something I told the screener guy was, 0:55:22.480 --> 0:55:25.240 you know, I'm calling the what I do with the therapist, 0:55:25.320 --> 0:55:28.360 and you know, what you do is not always super 0:55:28.400 --> 0:55:31.120 funny like this most recent call. It can feel kind 0:55:31.120 --> 0:55:34.080 of scary. And I can't, I mean, I can't imagine 0:55:34.080 --> 0:55:36.960 all your calls to be as like, you know, funny 0:55:36.960 --> 0:55:39.319 and joyful. So I just wanted to know how you 0:55:39.360 --> 0:55:42.000 handle things, and you know how how what some of 0:55:42.040 --> 0:55:44.120 the things you do for a self care and you know, 0:55:44.320 --> 0:55:46.760 take care of take care of your own mental health. 0:55:47.600 --> 0:55:51.360 That's a good question. I was talking about this before, 0:55:51.400 --> 0:55:54.279 but on Monday's stream I was falling apart by the 0:55:54.360 --> 0:56:00.640 end of it. Uh uh. Today's stream, though it was great. 0:56:00.880 --> 0:56:04.319 I don't know. It's hard because it really feels like 0:56:04.360 --> 0:56:07.600 I'm rolling the dice every time I get on here where. 0:56:07.640 --> 0:56:10.359 Sometimes I feel really great about things and I'm like, oh, 0:56:10.360 --> 0:56:12.120 this is a good thing to be doing. And sometimes 0:56:12.120 --> 0:56:14.319 I'm like, what the hell have I gone and got 0:56:14.360 --> 0:56:19.680 myself into by being a fake gecko guy thing on 0:56:19.719 --> 0:56:24.440 the computer? But how do I stay sane? I don't know. 0:56:24.440 --> 0:56:26.359 I wish I could give you a answer for that. 0:56:26.840 --> 0:56:34.359 I've been trying to meditate more, journaling, getting high, ohthough 0:56:34.360 --> 0:56:35.960 that's probably not a good one. I eat a lot 0:56:36.000 --> 0:56:40.920 of candy. That's also not a good one. Ah, you know, 0:56:41.080 --> 0:56:47.080 just bad stuff. But trying to take breaks. Although I'm 0:56:47.120 --> 0:56:50.640 conflicted about breaks. I'm very conflicted about the idea of breaks, 0:56:50.680 --> 0:56:55.680 because a break, okay, like if I'm being very stressed 0:56:55.719 --> 0:57:01.120 out by my job or by something that, let's say 0:57:01.120 --> 0:57:03.840 by my job, and I'm like, okay, I need a break, 0:57:04.400 --> 0:57:09.799 I almost feel like I'm escaping from the thing as 0:57:09.800 --> 0:57:14.640 opposed to facing it head on and fixing the problem 0:57:15.000 --> 0:57:18.040 where the problem is, because right like, I could take 0:57:18.120 --> 0:57:23.160 a three week vacation whatever the fuck, come back, and 0:57:23.200 --> 0:57:25.600 then if I'm not feeling good, I still haven't I 0:57:25.600 --> 0:57:29.000 even fixed the problem. I've just escaped from it momentarily, 0:57:29.000 --> 0:57:32.040 I still have to go back to it. So that's 0:57:31.520 --> 0:57:35.080 my sort of thing about about breaks. I feel like 0:57:35.120 --> 0:57:38.640 I'm pretty good at I'm pretty good at finding time 0:57:38.760 --> 0:57:43.200 to think about things outside of the stream and live 0:57:43.240 --> 0:57:47.840 a life outside of the computer. But still when I 0:57:47.840 --> 0:57:51.560 come back, I'm still it doesn't feel like I've addressed 0:57:51.600 --> 0:57:54.160 the problem. I'm like, escape, you escape from the problem, 0:57:54.160 --> 0:57:56.040 and you come back, it's still there, you know. Does 0:57:56.080 --> 0:57:56.680 that make sense? 0:57:57.920 --> 0:57:58.200 Yeah? 0:57:58.480 --> 0:58:01.880 I mean I think you have. You have a conundrum 0:58:01.920 --> 0:58:05.080 on your hands. I mean, I I was thinking you 0:58:05.120 --> 0:58:09.240 were going to go into a separate thought about about 0:58:09.400 --> 0:58:12.240 breaks and why they can be so conflicting, because I 0:58:12.280 --> 0:58:15.760 feel similarly about breaks but in a different way and so, 0:58:16.560 --> 0:58:18.680 but but that's not where I thought you were going. 0:58:18.800 --> 0:58:22.920 And uh, and and it sounds to me like maybe 0:58:23.160 --> 0:58:27.480 if the problem being work, which is what I imagine 0:58:27.560 --> 0:58:32.120 this this streaming to be feeling that degree of stressful 0:58:32.200 --> 0:58:36.560 for you. It's yeah, it's not something a vacation necessarily 0:58:36.640 --> 0:58:40.640 is going to fix. There's something about what you do 0:58:40.680 --> 0:58:43.960 that is, I think more inherently stressful, and perhaps that 0:58:44.040 --> 0:58:45.800 needs to be like explored. 0:58:45.880 --> 0:58:49.400 You know, It's true, I feel good right now. This 0:58:49.400 --> 0:58:52.480 has been a good stream. I haven't very good for 0:58:52.520 --> 0:58:55.680 that stream, so who knows? It's always like that's that. 0:58:55.760 --> 0:58:57.360 I think that's the biggest problem that I have is 0:58:57.400 --> 0:59:00.120 that what's the is like, what is the fucking I? 0:59:00.520 --> 0:59:03.560 What is the x y X plus y times z 0:59:04.240 --> 0:59:09.680 divided by Q equation? Like that I can always feel good, 0:59:09.800 --> 0:59:12.400 but it doesn't I don't feel like I can don't 0:59:12.400 --> 0:59:13.960 feel like I have a control over that. It's just 0:59:14.000 --> 0:59:15.760 gotta's gotta go in. You's got to show up. 0:59:15.840 --> 0:59:20.680 But yeah, yeah, I mean I think it's it's probably 0:59:20.680 --> 0:59:22.600 a lot of things that contribute to you know, how 0:59:22.680 --> 0:59:26.240 you enter in stream that that kind of primes you 0:59:26.360 --> 0:59:28.440 for whether it's going to be good to some degree, 0:59:28.520 --> 0:59:30.920 And then I think, whatever the dice rolls as far 0:59:31.000 --> 0:59:32.720 as who shows up in your stream, I mean, I 0:59:32.760 --> 0:59:34.800 don't know. I feel like some of that unpredictability is 0:59:34.880 --> 0:59:38.000 some some that I something I deal with too, and 0:59:38.880 --> 0:59:40.280 you know, there are aspects of my job that I 0:59:40.320 --> 0:59:45.360 wish we're more I don't know, certain or stable in 0:59:45.520 --> 0:59:48.080 some way. But it's also what makes it kind of 0:59:48.120 --> 0:59:51.880 exciting and interesting. It feels like a new new thing 0:59:51.960 --> 0:59:54.520 to figure out or kind of challenge myself with or 0:59:54.560 --> 0:59:55.919 grow in some way, shape or form. 0:59:56.000 --> 0:59:57.720 So it's a little bit of a double edged sword. 0:59:58.720 --> 1:00:01.240 I agree with that. If are you going to invoice 1:00:01.280 --> 1:00:01.600 me for this? 1:00:04.360 --> 1:00:07.680 No, because this isn't therapy. I this is me talking 1:00:07.720 --> 1:00:10.240 to you as a human. I'm enjoying this, and you know, 1:00:10.360 --> 1:00:13.160 to some degree my my therapy self is a bit 1:00:13.520 --> 1:00:17.000 inseparable from my human self. But I'm certainly not operating 1:00:17.040 --> 1:00:19.560 out of some kind of therapeutic orientation right now. I 1:00:19.600 --> 1:00:21.960 really I do appreciate what you're what you're telling me, 1:00:22.040 --> 1:00:23.800 and I am thinking about how I feel in my 1:00:24.000 --> 1:00:27.120 life to how I deal with my stressors, and you know, 1:00:27.520 --> 1:00:30.640 really digesting your question. So you know this is more 1:00:30.800 --> 1:00:33.600 open and transparent than I would, well I would. It's 1:00:33.640 --> 1:00:36.320 hard to say I'm pretty open in therapy session. Like 1:00:36.360 --> 1:00:38.040 I said, I like to be pretty real and keep it, 1:00:39.000 --> 1:00:41.160 keep it really to be really genuine in my session. 1:00:41.200 --> 1:00:43.840 So but that being said, like, no, this is I'm 1:00:43.880 --> 1:00:49.320 not not thinking in terms of therapy. I'm not like hypothesizing. 1:00:48.520 --> 1:00:49.640 Anything or anything like that. 1:00:50.160 --> 1:00:52.919 Do you have do you have like a therapy brain 1:00:53.040 --> 1:00:55.320 and a person brain where like, like if this was 1:00:55.360 --> 1:00:57.600 a therapy session and I was telling you things, would 1:00:57.640 --> 1:01:02.480 you be hypothesizing about certain things like diagnosing whatever it is? 1:01:04.040 --> 1:01:07.800 Yeah, yeah, I mean I definitely would be. I'm trained 1:01:08.040 --> 1:01:11.680 to do like clinical interviewing, so there's sets of questions 1:01:11.720 --> 1:01:14.480 that I asked for, you know, different diagnoses, and so 1:01:14.720 --> 1:01:18.960 I'm really thinking about different diagnostic pictures. There's also structure 1:01:19.000 --> 1:01:22.720 to my therapy sessions that you know, from session one 1:01:22.840 --> 1:01:25.320 through session ten, in different stages of therapy and things 1:01:25.400 --> 1:01:28.440 like that. So it really is much more structured and 1:01:30.080 --> 1:01:32.240 clinical in that way I'm thinking in it, I don't 1:01:32.280 --> 1:01:35.160 almost feels like a different part of my brain and 1:01:35.280 --> 1:01:37.600 I am thinking about hypotheses. But I'm also telling my 1:01:37.920 --> 1:01:40.160 clients too, like, hey, if if something comes to mind 1:01:40.240 --> 1:01:42.280 as far as the diagnoses, I will be the first 1:01:42.320 --> 1:01:43.880 person to talk to you about that. So I'm not 1:01:44.000 --> 1:01:47.200 here to like hide that from you or anything. I 1:01:47.360 --> 1:01:49.240 like to really be transparent about this sort of thing. 1:01:52.360 --> 1:01:53.760 So what's wrong with me, Tiffany. 1:01:55.480 --> 1:01:55.920 I don't know. 1:01:56.280 --> 1:01:59.040 I wasn't thinking about it. I just really I am 1:01:59.200 --> 1:02:01.960 like stars structs if I'm being completely honest, Like, I 1:02:02.040 --> 1:02:04.440 got through the call and I was just like I 1:02:04.480 --> 1:02:08.160 almost lost words what to say, you know, talking to 1:02:08.240 --> 1:02:10.000 the streamer, and then at the end he's like, Okay, 1:02:10.000 --> 1:02:11.760 I'm gonna put you in the cue, but just so 1:02:11.840 --> 1:02:13.120 you know, you might not get picked. 1:02:13.160 --> 1:02:14.480 And then my heart dropped. 1:02:16.600 --> 1:02:18.920 I made it this far and it might not get 1:02:19.040 --> 1:02:21.240 through again. And I've tried calling many times, so it 1:02:21.360 --> 1:02:25.000 was just like fingers crossed, hope I get through. And 1:02:25.120 --> 1:02:28.320 so yeah, I'm really just kind of stoked. 1:02:29.560 --> 1:02:33.360 Well, Tiffany, I'm so glad that you called. It's nice 1:02:33.400 --> 1:02:36.160 to hear a real therapist's perspective on this. 1:02:36.520 --> 1:02:36.640 Uh. 1:02:37.960 --> 1:02:39.920 I don't even know if I'm a fake therapist. I 1:02:39.960 --> 1:02:42.160 think I'm just a gecko guy. I think I say this. 1:02:42.400 --> 1:02:45.440 I don't like the name therapy gecko. We're kind of 1:02:45.480 --> 1:02:51.480 just here chat and you know, exist and breathe on 1:02:51.600 --> 1:02:55.840 each other and whatnot. But thank you for sharing your perspective, Tiffany, 1:02:55.920 --> 1:03:00.920 and for having this lovely com assation with me. Is 1:03:01.080 --> 1:03:02.800 is there anything else you want to say before we 1:03:02.920 --> 1:03:04.160 go to the people to the world. 1:03:05.560 --> 1:03:08.440 No, thank you, thanks for having me on. I'm super 1:03:08.520 --> 1:03:11.640 grateful and really happy and yeah, this just sort of 1:03:11.720 --> 1:03:13.360 made my night. So thank you. 1:03:13.480 --> 1:03:15.320 I hope you have a really awesome evening. 1:03:15.520 --> 1:03:18.640 And yeah, thank you for all you do. 1:03:19.520 --> 1:03:22.560 Thank you, Tiffany. I will try have a good rest 1:03:22.560 --> 1:03:23.000 of the night. 1:03:24.200 --> 1:03:24.720 Thank you too. 1:03:27.080 --> 1:03:32.520 We did it. We talked to Tiffany. Hello, is this Gregory? 1:03:34.760 --> 1:03:37.360 That means are you Gregory. 1:03:38.920 --> 1:03:39.440 Doing good? 1:03:39.960 --> 1:03:40.120 Good? 1:03:40.200 --> 1:03:40.560 How about you? 1:03:45.160 --> 1:03:49.800 I'm doing doing okay. 1:03:53.160 --> 1:03:57.400 You know you've come so different. I was just saying 1:03:57.440 --> 1:04:01.200 you sound so different maker and my phone verses on 1:04:01.520 --> 1:04:02.800 Twitch it's actually wild. 1:04:10.440 --> 1:04:11.240 What is your name? 1:04:14.080 --> 1:04:17.040 My name is greg What is your question about? 1:04:19.960 --> 1:04:20.520 My question? 1:04:21.400 --> 1:04:24.200 Well, I do have I I have one question and 1:04:24.280 --> 1:04:26.840 the story for you. I'm also I know you were 1:04:26.880 --> 1:04:30.360 talking a lot about you're a filmmaker and you started 1:04:30.560 --> 1:04:32.800 film school and stuff, and a question I have for 1:04:32.920 --> 1:04:35.360 you after just watching your chance for quite some time, 1:04:36.040 --> 1:04:41.400 what kind of film do you see yourself making? When 1:04:41.440 --> 1:04:42.880 I was do you want to get into directed? 1:04:43.520 --> 1:04:47.200 When I was thirteen years old, I decided I wanted 1:04:47.200 --> 1:04:52.160 to become a filmmaker. I made films with my friends 1:04:53.120 --> 1:04:55.720 throw all of high school, from when I was thirteen 1:04:57.040 --> 1:05:00.280 years old to like eighteen years old, all of Highchoo School, 1:05:00.320 --> 1:05:06.600 we made a bunch of films. And to this day, 1:05:07.840 --> 1:05:12.880 the process of making those movies is probably the hardest 1:05:13.000 --> 1:05:16.320 thing I've ever done in my entire life. I don't 1:05:18.280 --> 1:05:22.520 genuinely making trying because here's the thing. It's so hard 1:05:22.600 --> 1:05:26.640 to make a movie. There's so many things you have 1:05:26.800 --> 1:05:29.920 to do to like to do it, and when your 1:05:30.120 --> 1:05:34.080 crew is a bunch of fifteen year olds, it just 1:05:34.320 --> 1:05:37.760 it makes it harder. It's the hardest thing I've ever 1:05:37.840 --> 1:05:40.760 to do. And and then I went to film school 1:05:40.760 --> 1:05:44.800 and I made some films in college, and now I'm 1:05:44.840 --> 1:05:48.680 a podcast guy thing, and I don't, I don't, I 1:05:48.720 --> 1:05:50.320 don't know. I'm not gonna say I would never make 1:05:50.320 --> 1:05:52.080 another film again in my entire life. But I haven't 1:05:52.120 --> 1:05:53.720 thought about a kind of film I would I would 1:05:53.760 --> 1:05:59.200 make moving forward. You know, I'm not against it, but 1:05:59.280 --> 1:06:00.919 it's one of those things. It's one of those things 1:06:00.960 --> 1:06:04.160 where I every like when I was I'm sure when 1:06:04.160 --> 1:06:07.760 I was twenty I was like, when I'm twenty four, 1:06:07.880 --> 1:06:10.360 I'm gonna make a movie. And now I'm twenty four 1:06:10.440 --> 1:06:14.920 and I haven't made a movie. And now I'm like, 1:06:15.000 --> 1:06:17.760 when I'm in my late thirties, I'm gonna make a movie. 1:06:17.800 --> 1:06:19.280 I'm gonna get there. I'm not gonna make a movie, 1:06:19.400 --> 1:06:21.280 So it's never gonna happen. 1:06:24.600 --> 1:06:27.280 I thought you could take a happy you really wanted to, 1:06:27.960 --> 1:06:31.440 some kind of like comedy short film. Even I get 1:06:31.480 --> 1:06:32.320 see you making that happen. 1:06:32.440 --> 1:06:36.080 For sure, I'd like to. 1:06:37.520 --> 1:06:39.040 I'd like to make a movie at some point. I 1:06:39.080 --> 1:06:43.680 don't know if it would be a Gecko thing, but 1:06:43.960 --> 1:06:46.360 I like doing this. This is I will you know 1:06:46.400 --> 1:06:48.640 what I will say about this. It's a lot easier. 1:06:50.880 --> 1:06:53.360 And when I look for things to do in my life, 1:06:53.400 --> 1:06:58.400 I just look for whatever is the least challenging. But Gregory, 1:06:58.480 --> 1:07:02.880 you said your name was yes, sir, Oh holy shit, 1:07:02.880 --> 1:07:05.080 I totally thought your name it was not Gregor. I 1:07:05.120 --> 1:07:07.080 made a wild guess. How can I get you this evening? 1:07:09.720 --> 1:07:13.920 Yeah, So the main thing I wanted to throw at 1:07:14.000 --> 1:07:18.000 you is so I had my first official, official, like 1:07:18.920 --> 1:07:22.520 full ass adult relationship. It was like, I'm so yeah, 1:07:22.520 --> 1:07:26.960 I'm twenty three, and I never really like committed hardcore, 1:07:27.240 --> 1:07:32.880 had something very serious before. And I've learned so much 1:07:32.920 --> 1:07:36.640 about like my boundaries and like, yeah, just like who 1:07:36.760 --> 1:07:38.840 I am and also the things that truly matter the 1:07:38.920 --> 1:07:41.520 most to me and also kind of made me truly 1:07:41.600 --> 1:07:45.320 think about what my Yeah, well my real purpose is too, 1:07:45.400 --> 1:07:47.480 and what drives me is a human being. That's just 1:07:47.600 --> 1:07:54.040 been pretty incredible. But I you know, I recently broke 1:07:54.160 --> 1:07:57.520 up with my girlfriend about well, I guess she's my acidalit. Yeah, 1:07:57.560 --> 1:08:04.040 it's been a month's actually, And what I wanted to 1:08:04.120 --> 1:08:08.960 run past you is I created such a healthy dynamics 1:08:09.040 --> 1:08:11.040 through the way I kind of have an outlook on 1:08:11.160 --> 1:08:14.040 life and how I just how my values are as 1:08:14.040 --> 1:08:17.320 a human being, where I always am about I'm about 1:08:17.439 --> 1:08:20.320 just being as considered as possible, communicating as much as 1:08:20.360 --> 1:08:24.160 possible and not letting emotions get to me, trying to always, yeah, 1:08:24.200 --> 1:08:28.000 to be communicative, considerate and constructive always and for me 1:08:28.280 --> 1:08:31.240 kind of enforcing that mindset with also just within the 1:08:31.240 --> 1:08:34.800 relationship with her, we kind of created this somewhat strange 1:08:35.040 --> 1:08:40.000 dynamic even after the breakup where we have yeah, well 1:08:40.040 --> 1:08:43.080 we are, chemistry is there. We still very deeply love 1:08:43.120 --> 1:08:46.000 each other, but like those red flags that would come 1:08:46.040 --> 1:08:48.320 across within that relationship are still there, and I'm trying 1:08:48.400 --> 1:08:51.759 my best to maintain cranny creating some kind of friendship 1:08:51.800 --> 1:08:56.320 with the amount of like emotional investment is so deep 1:08:56.720 --> 1:08:58.840 where it just like it kills me just that you 1:08:59.080 --> 1:09:02.120 think about her eventually being with another person as well 1:09:02.160 --> 1:09:05.040 as she that has the same feelings towards me and 1:09:05.200 --> 1:09:07.360 with being another person. But we're both like honored ship 1:09:07.400 --> 1:09:08.080 trying to do our thing. 1:09:08.200 --> 1:09:08.720 We both are. 1:09:09.439 --> 1:09:13.160 Yeah, so this is interesting. But I was thinking through yeah, 1:09:13.200 --> 1:09:15.240 through hearing all of that, do you think cre even 1:09:15.320 --> 1:09:18.519 creating that kind of dynamic in relationship with making that 1:09:18.640 --> 1:09:19.360 super healthy? 1:09:21.479 --> 1:09:21.840 It is? 1:09:22.160 --> 1:09:24.559 What is the possibility I know that possibility is probably 1:09:25.120 --> 1:09:28.320 not so high of continuing some kind of friendship, but 1:09:29.600 --> 1:09:32.960 what's uh, yeah, what's your read on on creating that 1:09:33.080 --> 1:09:35.760 kind of safe space and that in that kind of 1:09:35.960 --> 1:09:39.519 intimacy and healthiness yet? Is it even possible? 1:09:39.720 --> 1:09:45.680 My initial thoughts is, I think it's very cool that 1:09:47.479 --> 1:09:52.080 you've you've like gayined something from this relationship that you 1:09:52.479 --> 1:09:53.880 are taking with you. 1:09:55.280 --> 1:09:55.400 Uh. 1:09:55.479 --> 1:09:58.599 I don't feel like a relationship has to end good bad. 1:09:58.800 --> 1:10:00.960 I don't think that the way in which relationship ended, 1:10:01.360 --> 1:10:03.320 whether it was good or is bad or it was neutral, 1:10:05.120 --> 1:10:07.240 can have any effect on whether or not you choose 1:10:07.360 --> 1:10:10.640 to take something from it to benefit you as you 1:10:11.120 --> 1:10:12.760 forward in your life. And it sounds like you did 1:10:12.760 --> 1:10:15.479 that because you're saying to me, now that you've learned 1:10:16.000 --> 1:10:20.960 how to communicate better, your boundaries have gotten better, which 1:10:21.040 --> 1:10:23.439 is great. That's cool to hear because you can you 1:10:23.479 --> 1:10:26.120 can gain that, whether the relationship and the good or bad. 1:10:27.200 --> 1:10:29.519 So that's great, right, because if you're doing things in life, 1:10:29.560 --> 1:10:33.920 you might as well get something out of them, whether. 1:10:35.240 --> 1:10:35.559 Or bad. 1:10:36.160 --> 1:10:37.720 So I'm glad to hear that you got something out 1:10:37.760 --> 1:10:41.360 of it. That's the most important thing. I don't know 1:10:41.360 --> 1:10:42.600 if it's the most important thing. I don't know what 1:10:42.600 --> 1:10:44.280 the most important thing is. I'm go on the computer, 1:10:44.479 --> 1:10:54.000 but that is an important thing, all right. So you're 1:10:54.200 --> 1:10:57.120 so now you're in a point where you're like, should 1:10:57.240 --> 1:11:00.439 I continue to have a relationship of any kind with 1:11:00.520 --> 1:11:04.680 this person? Because you still okay? So let me ask you, 1:11:04.800 --> 1:11:10.519 let me ask you something, or rather, my understanding is 1:11:10.600 --> 1:11:13.840 that you love her, she loves you, blah blah blah. 1:11:14.680 --> 1:11:16.840 You can't stand seeing each other as at and blah 1:11:16.880 --> 1:11:20.320 blah blah. But you made the decision that now is 1:11:20.400 --> 1:11:22.160 not the right time that you have other things in 1:11:22.200 --> 1:11:25.680 your life to pursue, so you amicably broke up. Is 1:11:25.720 --> 1:11:29.720 that an accurate ish a description of what's going on? 1:11:31.520 --> 1:11:34.320 I'll give you the rundown, the upgrade version, for sure. 1:11:34.840 --> 1:11:39.960 What ended up happening was, of course, you know, constructive 1:11:40.000 --> 1:11:43.759 consider it right, you know. So what ended up happening 1:11:44.000 --> 1:11:49.919 was I literally ripped my health, my finances, my identity 1:11:50.000 --> 1:11:52.800 to make this person happy. Who and this person had 1:11:53.080 --> 1:11:58.400 a very heavy indexpectation and I was so well still 1:11:58.439 --> 1:12:00.600 I am still so in love and also had that 1:12:00.880 --> 1:12:02.720 those love goggles. I guess you can call it the 1:12:03.040 --> 1:12:06.880 facade of you know, like not seeing or well knowing 1:12:07.040 --> 1:12:09.479 the red flags and being aware of them but just 1:12:09.720 --> 1:12:12.280 diluting them, you know. And I know that's a pretty 1:12:12.320 --> 1:12:14.680 typical thing that we go through. But it got to 1:12:14.800 --> 1:12:17.879 such a level where, yeah, like I so I graduated 1:12:17.920 --> 1:12:20.080 film school, right, and I made my big Decis film. 1:12:20.160 --> 1:12:22.880 I was getting some traction, and I was going through 1:12:23.000 --> 1:12:25.719 doing editing gigs as well. So I'm sure you've also 1:12:25.880 --> 1:12:30.680 experienced you know, Tom sud film stuff in general, and 1:12:30.960 --> 1:12:34.880 just tind of trying to find that balance, right, and yeah, no, 1:12:35.360 --> 1:12:38.360 I noticed that. Yeah, it was just yeah, my life 1:12:38.439 --> 1:12:42.519 became trying to make her happy NonStop, and then I 1:12:42.680 --> 1:12:47.320 was depending on on yeah, depending on her, which is 1:12:47.320 --> 1:12:49.680 the first time ever I felt bad noticed as like 1:12:49.760 --> 1:12:54.240 I'd always yeah, I've always been so independent, and then 1:12:54.240 --> 1:12:57.040 I became dependent where it's like if she's happy, I'm happy, 1:12:57.120 --> 1:12:59.160 and it got really bad because I was just like 1:12:59.360 --> 1:13:01.960 selling merk me still time to loving. So one of 1:13:02.040 --> 1:13:04.519 that I'm happening is she she is she has some 1:13:04.680 --> 1:13:07.920 narcissistic tendencies, so she and some power kind of things. 1:13:07.960 --> 1:13:10.600 So she kind of like definitely took advantage of my 1:13:11.000 --> 1:13:13.960 my kind heart and my nice you know, mentality, and 1:13:14.200 --> 1:13:17.320 that's just how this kind of like totally went backwards. 1:13:17.360 --> 1:13:19.280 And what ended up happening is I took it to 1:13:19.360 --> 1:13:23.280 a whole other level where I love this person so 1:13:23.439 --> 1:13:28.080 much that I legit like wrote down journals all my 1:13:28.200 --> 1:13:31.400 thoughts trying to be as constructive as possible and helpful, 1:13:31.439 --> 1:13:34.600 and I literally like de coded why she says the 1:13:34.640 --> 1:13:36.880 certain things she does and why she's mean about certain things, 1:13:36.920 --> 1:13:39.960 and why like just like yeah, like I even provided 1:13:40.000 --> 1:13:40.280 all this. 1:13:43.160 --> 1:13:46.640 And all this stuff. Was that was that stressful for you? 1:13:49.160 --> 1:13:49.280 Oh? 1:13:49.360 --> 1:13:52.880 Yeah, of course, I'm balancing a few editing jobs, trying 1:13:52.920 --> 1:13:55.840 to get a more stable job. And then I got yeah, 1:13:57.800 --> 1:13:58.360 I want to go back. 1:13:58.439 --> 1:13:59.800 I want to go back to the I feel like 1:13:59.840 --> 1:14:01.680 I I feel like I kind of get what's going 1:14:01.720 --> 1:14:03.800 I want to let's go to the present here. We're 1:14:03.840 --> 1:14:08.320 in the present now. Okay, you're deciding whether or not 1:14:09.600 --> 1:14:12.040 you want to remain friends with this person. 1:14:14.760 --> 1:14:17.920 And I know that there's just heavy investment, heavy love, 1:14:17.960 --> 1:14:20.599 and there's like you said too, there's that there's still 1:14:20.640 --> 1:14:23.920 that love. But I'm fearful that I'm going to get 1:14:24.120 --> 1:14:26.280 just hurt more and more because this person seems like 1:14:26.320 --> 1:14:27.600 they're slowly catching. 1:14:27.360 --> 1:14:36.400 One know the full scope of the relationship. And again 1:14:36.439 --> 1:14:38.200 I'm only a get go on the computer. But here's 1:14:38.640 --> 1:14:43.960 my thoughts. You have a level of a level of 1:14:44.160 --> 1:14:46.080 self awareness, a level of I don't know what you 1:14:46.120 --> 1:14:49.600 would call it, but maybe maybe you would call it 1:14:49.720 --> 1:14:54.960 a desire for betterment, a lust for life, a lust 1:14:55.040 --> 1:14:57.880 for the future. I can see that within you because 1:14:57.880 --> 1:15:02.679 I can because you started this off by you started 1:15:02.720 --> 1:15:06.080 this off on a pretty positive note by saying that 1:15:08.840 --> 1:15:13.000 you found something of value from this relationship, that you've learned, 1:15:14.840 --> 1:15:18.439 something you've learned. How to communicate better, how to set 1:15:18.479 --> 1:15:22.040 better boundaries. That's what you said. You've added to your 1:15:22.160 --> 1:15:28.720 emotional skill set. You, I can tell, are invested in 1:15:28.880 --> 1:15:33.519 making yourself a better person and growing and in looking 1:15:33.600 --> 1:15:37.200 to the future. I can see that in you, and 1:15:37.439 --> 1:15:42.720 so I would say that if if you wish to 1:15:42.840 --> 1:15:49.880 continue investing in yourself moving forward, especially at the at 1:15:49.920 --> 1:15:55.439 this this beautiful age that you're at, that we're at. Essentially, 1:15:58.240 --> 1:16:02.759 I don't see any reason to continue having this person 1:16:02.840 --> 1:16:06.960 in your life if much of what you can remember 1:16:07.400 --> 1:16:10.880 from their time in your life is just stressful and 1:16:11.200 --> 1:16:14.360 is a heavy level of investment and codependency and all 1:16:14.400 --> 1:16:19.120 the things that you have just now run down to us, right, 1:16:19.760 --> 1:16:26.920 So yeah, I would, And it's not it's of course, 1:16:27.439 --> 1:16:31.560 of course, easier said than done. But I think you 1:16:31.640 --> 1:16:35.200 can do it because you've shown us that you're a 1:16:35.280 --> 1:16:38.679 guy who cares about his own self development. I would 1:16:39.280 --> 1:16:44.679 move and look past beyond this person into the great 1:16:46.120 --> 1:16:49.720 wide see of other people and experiences and opportunities that 1:16:49.800 --> 1:16:53.519 there are in life, as opposed to continuing to invest 1:16:53.600 --> 1:16:55.759 and be further dependent upon this person. 1:16:58.280 --> 1:17:01.479 Understood, I appreciate that, and I feel that I am 1:17:01.680 --> 1:17:05.240 slowly going through that process, like I've gotten things back. 1:17:05.840 --> 1:17:06.840 I like that. 1:17:07.000 --> 1:17:08.920 I was fearful that I was going to get back, 1:17:09.000 --> 1:17:12.560 Like I finally took action to commit to one of 1:17:12.600 --> 1:17:14.800 my next film projects, and I'm gonna start trying to 1:17:14.920 --> 1:17:18.639 get it producers, investors going for that, and that's what's 1:17:18.680 --> 1:17:20.600 kind of like, that's my purpose, that's who I am. 1:17:20.680 --> 1:17:23.000 So I'm like so excited for that, and that's kind 1:17:23.040 --> 1:17:25.320 of what's really keeping me going while balancing everything else. 1:17:25.400 --> 1:17:27.320 But yeah, it's just it's hard because there's just so 1:17:27.479 --> 1:17:31.160 much chemistry and love there and also she's not the 1:17:31.439 --> 1:17:35.880 most she could be. She had some impulsive tendencies as 1:17:35.920 --> 1:17:38.760 will also shoot ends up like being mad at me. 1:17:40.680 --> 1:17:42.080 Sorry, I'm sorry to cut you off, but there we go. 1:17:42.200 --> 1:17:43.960 I mean, you've got, like you know, you've got your 1:17:44.040 --> 1:17:48.000 film projects. You've got I mean, you've got like you 1:17:48.200 --> 1:17:49.920 you have a you you are building what I like 1:17:49.960 --> 1:17:55.080 to call it diversified life portfolio, which is helpful because 1:17:55.120 --> 1:17:58.920 you said that you had dependency problems and I can 1:17:59.040 --> 1:17:59.920 hear in your voice. 1:18:00.120 --> 1:18:00.600 I learned that. 1:18:02.360 --> 1:18:04.160 I can hear. I can hear, you can hear from 1:18:04.240 --> 1:18:06.240 all the things you're saying you care about developing yourself. 1:18:06.439 --> 1:18:09.880 You care about building a diverse life portfolio, and I 1:18:10.280 --> 1:18:14.320 encourage you to continue caring about those things and taking 1:18:14.400 --> 1:18:17.400 actions down that path. What do you say anamas again? 1:18:19.479 --> 1:18:19.719 Greg? 1:18:19.840 --> 1:18:22.240 Greg Or Gregory either or Greg? 1:18:22.320 --> 1:18:24.439 Good luck to you. And last thing I'm gonna tell 1:18:24.439 --> 1:18:27.840 you before we go, uh, don't wait for people to 1:18:27.920 --> 1:18:30.800 give you as a film guy whatever. Don't wait for 1:18:30.880 --> 1:18:33.479 people to give you permission to make things. Just make 1:18:33.520 --> 1:18:37.400 them and put them on the internet. Okay, Gregor, I 1:18:37.520 --> 1:18:39.639 hear you. Thank you for call. I'll talk to you soon. 1:18:40.280 --> 1:18:40.519 Hello. 1:18:43.040 --> 1:18:45.400 Huh Hi, this is Courtney. 1:18:47.240 --> 1:18:47.760 What's up? 1:18:49.320 --> 1:18:49.439 Uh? 1:18:49.560 --> 1:18:51.080 Courtney? How can I get you this evening? 1:18:57.160 --> 1:18:59.479 I don't know how to answer that question. I've heard 1:18:59.520 --> 1:19:02.519 you ask it a few times that I just didn't 1:19:02.560 --> 1:19:03.680 think it would ever happened to me. 1:19:05.040 --> 1:19:09.400 I you know, can I actually can I event to 1:19:09.400 --> 1:19:10.240 you a little bit here? 1:19:11.720 --> 1:19:12.840 Ye see? 1:19:12.920 --> 1:19:15.599 On one this is the real problem is the problem 1:19:15.720 --> 1:19:19.479 is that on one hand, this is this is this 1:19:19.640 --> 1:19:22.160 is ultimately the problem of like I don't really know 1:19:22.520 --> 1:19:27.040 what this stream is or what the goal of it 1:19:27.200 --> 1:19:29.559 is because on one hand, it's like it's free form 1:19:29.680 --> 1:19:34.519 conversations with people that don't have any sort that are 1:19:34.800 --> 1:19:38.120 sort of boundaryless, right. But then on the other hand, 1:19:38.200 --> 1:19:39.880 I'm kind of like, look, if you're gonna call in, 1:19:41.040 --> 1:19:43.720 you know I have something, you know, some something at 1:19:43.760 --> 1:19:45.439 least a little it's just easier if you have a 1:19:45.479 --> 1:19:48.160 little bit of something you know. And also you did 1:19:49.760 --> 1:19:51.880 Here's another thing is you did tell you talk to 1:19:51.960 --> 1:19:54.439 a call screener who I asked you what it is 1:19:54.479 --> 1:19:55.920 you wanted to talk about? And you did tell them 1:19:55.960 --> 1:19:58.160 something and it happened. And I don't I want to 1:19:58.160 --> 1:19:59.800 know this from your perspective because I get callers all 1:19:59.800 --> 1:20:05.080 the time time who are like who, I say, how 1:20:05.120 --> 1:20:06.519 could what do you want to talk about? And they go, 1:20:07.320 --> 1:20:08.840 I don't know? And I'm like, you just told you 1:20:08.960 --> 1:20:10.920 told the person what you want. Why are you telling 1:20:11.000 --> 1:20:12.800 me that you don't know if you told the call 1:20:12.840 --> 1:20:14.519 scare what it is you want to talk about. I'm 1:20:14.560 --> 1:20:18.360 not upset. I'm just I'm a little bit just baffled. 1:20:18.400 --> 1:20:22.680 And I'm also on my end figuring out because all 1:20:22.720 --> 1:20:24.120 at the end of the day at all, it's my 1:20:24.240 --> 1:20:28.320 responsibility all this stuff. So on my end, I'm like, 1:20:28.600 --> 1:20:31.120 how do I what's the stand? What's the bar here? 1:20:31.280 --> 1:20:31.320 This? 1:20:31.720 --> 1:20:32.880 This makes sense? 1:20:33.160 --> 1:20:33.320 Right? 1:20:33.400 --> 1:20:36.400 I'm not talking in loops. Right, this all makes sense? 1:20:37.520 --> 1:20:39.439 Oh yeah, I was just wasn't sure if I wasn't 1:20:39.439 --> 1:20:41.960 supposed to just like jump into it, you know, like 1:20:42.080 --> 1:20:42.679 I wasn't sure. 1:20:43.520 --> 1:20:46.519 There's no there's no supposed to. There's no supposed to, 1:20:46.760 --> 1:20:49.200 there's no rules. Maybe maybe I don't know, maybe I 1:20:49.200 --> 1:20:51.560 should set rules. There could be there could be a 1:20:51.640 --> 1:20:55.000 supposed to do. I could set rules. I could be 1:20:55.200 --> 1:20:58.360 like I could. I was watching I was watching a 1:20:58.400 --> 1:21:01.320 little bit of doctor Drew's stuff because we're gonna have 1:21:01.439 --> 1:21:04.760 him on soon, and he's very much like caller, what's 1:21:04.800 --> 1:21:08.280 your question? Okay, thank you, all right, And then I 1:21:08.400 --> 1:21:10.720 know it's a different style, but I'm like, well, I 1:21:10.760 --> 1:21:12.400 don't know. I don't know what my style should be, 1:21:12.600 --> 1:21:15.000 but I do. I always go back and forth on it. 1:21:17.600 --> 1:21:20.479 But you did you did? You did tell the call 1:21:20.560 --> 1:21:21.960 screen or something you want to talk about? 1:21:22.280 --> 1:21:25.200 I do, Yeah, I do. I wanted to tell you. 1:21:26.520 --> 1:21:29.000 I think it was when you had attorney Tom on. 1:21:29.360 --> 1:21:31.640 You had a caller call in and they told you 1:21:31.880 --> 1:21:36.479 about the dude got pulled over and they found some 1:21:36.840 --> 1:21:41.160 like weed in his car and dude ended up and 1:21:41.240 --> 1:21:44.080 he got a DUI for it. He told him that 1:21:45.040 --> 1:21:47.280 he told the cops that he hadn't smoked in like 1:21:48.040 --> 1:21:50.360 like two or three days or whatever, and they're like, oh, well, 1:21:50.479 --> 1:21:54.320 that's it, Like you still get a dui. And then 1:21:54.400 --> 1:21:57.439 recently I was running around door dashing and I had 1:21:57.520 --> 1:22:00.880 a roadblock on a Thursday night, which was super cool. 1:22:02.120 --> 1:22:04.920 And anyways, I had weed in my car and they 1:22:04.960 --> 1:22:07.280 were like, oh cool, Well you have weed in your car. 1:22:07.360 --> 1:22:08.240 Are you high right now? 1:22:08.400 --> 1:22:09.000 And I was like no. 1:22:09.800 --> 1:22:11.680 They're like, well, when's the last time you smoked? And 1:22:11.760 --> 1:22:14.200 I was like, well, it's been like like a couple 1:22:14.320 --> 1:22:16.479 of weeks. And they're like, well, you have weed in 1:22:16.600 --> 1:22:19.360 your car and like a bowl in your car and 1:22:19.800 --> 1:22:22.040 you just say you haven't smoked, and I was like no, 1:22:22.479 --> 1:22:25.080 and just because I remembered the episode to make sure 1:22:25.200 --> 1:22:27.760 to say that it had been a long time since 1:22:27.800 --> 1:22:30.360 I had smoked. And they gave me like a field 1:22:30.400 --> 1:22:33.640 sobriety test anyways, but they're like they go and I 1:22:33.680 --> 1:22:37.720 didn't get it to UA. Oh yeah, yeah, they let 1:22:37.760 --> 1:22:40.360 me go. She said that she thought I was high, 1:22:40.600 --> 1:22:44.200 but she thought I was good to drive anyways, But 1:22:44.240 --> 1:22:44.600 I don't know. 1:22:44.600 --> 1:22:44.880 How you. 1:22:47.120 --> 1:22:52.040 Oh yeah, yeah, you know, I despite I might get 1:22:52.080 --> 1:22:54.599 some flag for this. But did you ever just forget 1:22:54.720 --> 1:22:56.479 the driving high is super illegal? 1:22:58.400 --> 1:22:58.639 Yeah? 1:22:58.760 --> 1:22:59.200 It doesn't. 1:22:59.280 --> 1:23:02.840 I mean it's easy to everyone knows that. Everyone knows that, like, okay, 1:23:02.920 --> 1:23:05.800 everyone knows that driving drunk is super illegal. It's one 1:23:05.840 --> 1:23:08.479 of those I was talking about this. I think I 1:23:08.600 --> 1:23:10.200 was talking about this on stream the other day. It's 1:23:10.240 --> 1:23:13.000 a very similar thing with texting and driving, like like 1:23:14.560 --> 1:23:19.280 like texting and driving is like you ever on it, okay, 1:23:19.320 --> 1:23:23.120 because the whole the whole thing is like you shouldn't 1:23:23.160 --> 1:23:26.440 text and drive. So when you're like going through Spotify 1:23:26.520 --> 1:23:28.679 trying to change the song and you're on your phone, 1:23:29.360 --> 1:23:33.880 it's like you somehow differentiate that from texting, even though 1:23:33.920 --> 1:23:36.479 it's the same fucking thing, just because of the messaging. 1:23:37.600 --> 1:23:41.320 Driving high it's like it's dui. It's super legal, totally 1:23:41.400 --> 1:23:44.960 as illegal as driving drunk, but you just forget because 1:23:45.240 --> 1:23:46.400 no one ever Yeah. 1:23:46.400 --> 1:23:50.840 Yeah, I mean, like I hear you, I absolutely hear you, 1:23:50.960 --> 1:23:55.000 and I totally agree. But also I got it right 1:23:55.360 --> 1:23:57.800 for the most part until I don't, but I had it. 1:24:03.200 --> 1:24:05.640 I'm even looking at the chat people. Driving high is 1:24:05.680 --> 1:24:08.519 definitely not good, but driving drunk is way worse. 1:24:08.960 --> 1:24:09.000 It. 1:24:10.520 --> 1:24:12.840 Yeah, yeah, I totally agree. 1:24:14.000 --> 1:24:16.360 Yeah, I mean I just forget all the time that 1:24:16.520 --> 1:24:17.720 it's uh illegal. 1:24:19.640 --> 1:24:22.160 Yeah, I mean, like I'm not it's not defense. 1:24:22.240 --> 1:24:25.400 I know people try to defend it, and it's like 1:24:25.960 --> 1:24:29.400 I get it because it's like it's at the end 1:24:29.479 --> 1:24:32.519 of the day, it's not defensible. It's not defensible at all. 1:24:33.600 --> 1:24:34.519 But I do forget this. 1:24:34.760 --> 1:24:38.480 Right, right, Like I'm not like, you can't you can't defend. 1:24:38.960 --> 1:24:42.120 Say, you can't be like, Okay, driving high is not 1:24:42.240 --> 1:24:47.360 as bad as driving drunk, it's not, but you can't 1:24:47.400 --> 1:24:51.360 defend it. There's no without that, without being a crazy person. 1:24:53.680 --> 1:24:56.479 Yeah yeah, I mean like you kind of feel like 1:24:56.479 --> 1:24:57.479 an honest band like. 1:24:59.600 --> 1:25:04.720 Trying to I've I yeah, yeah, you can't, and I 1:25:05.200 --> 1:25:08.360 shouldn't ever do that. 1:25:08.840 --> 1:25:09.560 You shouldn't know. 1:25:09.720 --> 1:25:10.160 It's round. 1:25:10.200 --> 1:25:14.120 It's totally frowned upon. But it's likely to die and 1:25:14.280 --> 1:25:15.240 kill other people. 1:25:15.880 --> 1:25:18.280 Oh, do you less likely to die and kill other people? 1:25:19.080 --> 1:25:21.439 I mean, when you're driving sober, you're pretty likely to 1:25:21.680 --> 1:25:22.760 die and kill other people. 1:25:22.880 --> 1:25:26.880 But yeah, like ninety seven percent more likely than you 1:25:27.000 --> 1:25:28.719 are to die in your room. We were talking about 1:25:28.760 --> 1:25:29.439 this the other day. 1:25:29.560 --> 1:25:32.320 Yeah, yeah, yeah, so. 1:25:35.240 --> 1:25:37.840 You know I would not I would not endorse it, 1:25:38.760 --> 1:25:42.920 but I it's one of those things. It's one of 1:25:42.960 --> 1:25:45.800 those things. Someone said riding a motorcycle of mushrooms is 1:25:45.880 --> 1:25:47.879 super fun. That sounds horrible. 1:25:49.400 --> 1:25:49.519 Man. 1:25:49.640 --> 1:25:51.280 This is why I want to place I can use 1:25:51.360 --> 1:25:54.600 the subway, man, because the subway you can get. You 1:25:54.640 --> 1:25:57.960 can you can you can be, you can be up on, 1:25:58.320 --> 1:25:59.800 you get as fucked up as you want. On this 1:26:00.920 --> 1:26:03.479 you can get no way, dude, that's believe on the 1:26:03.720 --> 1:26:05.080 subway and no one cares. 1:26:07.720 --> 1:26:11.720 The first time my best friend ever did acid, we 1:26:11.920 --> 1:26:14.720 were she drove like we thought it was going to 1:26:14.760 --> 1:26:16.640 take like an hour to kick in, because that's what 1:26:16.880 --> 1:26:20.240 dude said. And then we had like a forty five 1:26:20.280 --> 1:26:22.240 minute drive home, so we were like, sweet, we'll take 1:26:22.280 --> 1:26:24.960 it now and then like fifteen minutes after we get home, 1:26:25.120 --> 1:26:28.479 we'll start tripping. And it kicked in in like fifteen 1:26:28.640 --> 1:26:31.920 twenty minutes. Oh yeah, oh yeah. She like threw up 1:26:32.040 --> 1:26:34.200 like a whole shit time. As soon as we got 1:26:34.560 --> 1:26:35.400 like where we were going. 1:26:35.520 --> 1:26:36.120 It was terrible. 1:26:36.240 --> 1:26:38.680 I was freaking out. The passenger seat had a great time. 1:26:40.960 --> 1:26:42.640 Well, Courtney, what what do we think? I know I 1:26:42.800 --> 1:26:45.720 sort of talked a little bit over you in this 1:26:48.439 --> 1:26:49.920 What do you. What do you think Do you think 1:26:50.200 --> 1:26:52.200 we are coming away? Do you think we're coming out 1:26:52.240 --> 1:26:55.040 of this? But you and me not? Just don't just 1:26:55.080 --> 1:26:56.720 think about it. If you learned anything, think about if 1:26:56.720 --> 1:26:58.519 I learned anything. Do you think either of us learned 1:26:58.520 --> 1:26:59.519 anything from this conversation? 1:27:00.200 --> 1:27:04.439 H mm hmmm. 1:27:05.320 --> 1:27:11.559 No, I have learned nothing. Yeah, no, I've learned nothing. 1:27:13.000 --> 1:27:20.000 But maybe you've learned something. Yeah, yeah, But that's all right. 1:27:20.200 --> 1:27:20.840 We were I don't know. 1:27:20.960 --> 1:27:24.200 That was like a bull that you had that I 1:27:24.400 --> 1:27:26.320 established it at the beginning. There's no supposed to is 1:27:26.360 --> 1:27:26.519 in this? 1:27:28.120 --> 1:27:28.320 Yeah? 1:27:28.720 --> 1:27:32.520 No, I supposed to beautiful? Have a good according. 1:27:33.840 --> 1:27:34.360 Yeah you too? 1:27:34.479 --> 1:27:35.040 Get bye? 1:27:36.800 --> 1:27:44.040 Hello, listen, Hello, Hi, what's up? 1:27:48.960 --> 1:27:49.519 Can you hear me? 1:27:51.640 --> 1:27:52.000 Tyler? 1:27:54.840 --> 1:27:55.080 Yeah? 1:27:56.080 --> 1:27:56.599 How's it going? 1:27:57.720 --> 1:27:58.280 How's it going? 1:28:00.120 --> 1:28:02.080 It's going good, It's going good. 1:28:05.040 --> 1:28:05.960 You look a bit stressed? 1:28:06.520 --> 1:28:07.080 Do I really? 1:28:09.800 --> 1:28:10.000 You do? 1:28:10.840 --> 1:28:12.400 Like you're annoyed with some callers today? 1:28:13.439 --> 1:28:19.240 I don't do. What about can you like sort of 1:28:19.240 --> 1:28:21.120 cut to the bone about what about that is? 1:28:21.320 --> 1:28:22.680 Like? Like? 1:28:22.840 --> 1:28:24.720 Is it is it my body language? Is it my 1:28:24.800 --> 1:28:25.559 tone of voice? 1:28:25.600 --> 1:28:25.640 Like? 1:28:25.720 --> 1:28:28.040 What what is it that's that's signaling that too? 1:28:31.439 --> 1:28:32.639 Maybe your body language? 1:28:34.000 --> 1:28:36.639 I feel like my body language is pretty like stagnant, 1:28:36.720 --> 1:28:39.920 like I don't pretty calm. Yeah, I feel like it's 1:28:39.960 --> 1:28:42.280 pretty calm. I mean it's is it my It's got 1:28:42.320 --> 1:28:45.120 to be a tone of voice thing, because I actually 1:28:45.120 --> 1:28:46.439 I kind of see it to myself a little bit. 1:28:46.920 --> 1:28:56.599 No, I think you're good, but seeing a little stressed, 1:28:57.640 --> 1:29:00.120 like maybe you don't want to do phone calls for 1:29:00.200 --> 1:29:01.960 a while and do cooking. 1:29:04.240 --> 1:29:05.600 I'm trying to think. I don't really know if I 1:29:05.600 --> 1:29:06.280 can cook anything. 1:29:09.120 --> 1:29:09.800 It's pretty good. 1:29:11.840 --> 1:29:12.880 I have to pee, maybe that. 1:29:12.920 --> 1:29:13.240 Could be it. 1:29:13.600 --> 1:29:17.400 Gotta have confidence in your cooking. Yeah, no, don't drink 1:29:17.439 --> 1:29:17.760 your pea. 1:29:22.880 --> 1:29:29.960 Jackson Jackson. 1:29:32.400 --> 1:29:34.600 Jackson, Oh, Tyler. 1:29:37.160 --> 1:29:37.559 Yes, sir? 1:29:37.760 --> 1:29:38.120 What's up? 1:29:41.400 --> 1:29:43.000 What do you think about the trucking industry? 1:29:43.680 --> 1:29:45.839 What do I think about the trucking industry? 1:29:45.960 --> 1:29:46.000 Like? 1:29:46.080 --> 1:29:46.799 What are my opinions? 1:29:46.880 --> 1:29:47.240 Like in what? 1:29:47.479 --> 1:29:50.759 In what sense? The odd? Actually, you don't even that whatever, 1:29:51.080 --> 1:29:54.560 whatever sense, whatever sense you would be referring to. I 1:29:54.680 --> 1:29:57.400 have no opinion on it. I've never driven a truck myself. 1:29:58.720 --> 1:30:03.080 I haven't interacted with many trucks, and I I don't 1:30:03.080 --> 1:30:04.360 I don't have that much of a depinion on it, 1:30:04.640 --> 1:30:05.160 to be honest. 1:30:07.080 --> 1:30:12.240 Well, I am a truck driver. I was wondering what's 1:30:12.280 --> 1:30:13.880 your thoughts on road rage? 1:30:16.040 --> 1:30:20.439 M Hm, Tyler, is this are you asking me your thoughts? 1:30:20.880 --> 1:30:21.040 Are you? 1:30:21.120 --> 1:30:22.760 Are you asking me my thoughts? And I'm this is 1:30:22.840 --> 1:30:26.720 not a hostile response. I'm genuinely genuine curious. Are you 1:30:26.840 --> 1:30:31.560 asking me these questions to set up your thoughts on 1:30:31.600 --> 1:30:35.600 the trucking industry and road rage? Because you don't have 1:30:35.720 --> 1:30:37.719 to do that. You can just tell me your thoughts industry. 1:30:38.160 --> 1:30:39.360 You can just you can just tell you can just 1:30:39.439 --> 1:30:41.000 tell me. We don't have to you don't have to 1:30:42.600 --> 1:30:45.160 set it up, like what do you think? Here's what 1:30:45.240 --> 1:30:45.599 I think. 1:30:45.720 --> 1:30:48.360 You can just tell it wasn't necessarily set up to that. 1:30:50.720 --> 1:30:52.400 I didn't say that to be a dif just why 1:30:53.760 --> 1:30:54.840 to let you know, no, no. 1:30:55.160 --> 1:30:55.479 You're good. 1:30:55.760 --> 1:31:01.559 I didn't catch that at all. Anyways, Alma, truck driver 1:31:03.439 --> 1:31:11.120 deal with a love distracted drivers out there, which is 1:31:11.200 --> 1:31:13.680 kind of unfortunate. See a lot of people texting and driving. 1:31:15.320 --> 1:31:16.600 About one hundred. 1:31:18.040 --> 1:31:18.360 Driving. 1:31:19.880 --> 1:31:23.080 You know what is a horrible thing that I do 1:31:23.240 --> 1:31:25.760 that I think a lot of people do is I 1:31:26.000 --> 1:31:30.920 think the whole, the whole, it's the dumbest thing of 1:31:30.920 --> 1:31:35.560 all time, the whole texting, the sentiment as like we 1:31:35.600 --> 1:31:39.680 should not text and drive, right, that's been like it's 1:31:39.720 --> 1:31:43.160 on the billboards, is what the PSAs are. No texting 1:31:43.240 --> 1:31:48.920 and driving. So people now have it in their head subconsciously. 1:31:49.160 --> 1:31:54.960 If you're using your phone but you're not texting, it's fine. 1:31:55.240 --> 1:31:57.280 Like you can like in the Instagram. If you're on 1:31:57.400 --> 1:31:59.360 Instagram and you're like talking to someone of her d 1:31:59.520 --> 1:32:01.439 MS while you're in the car, it's fine. You're not 1:32:01.520 --> 1:32:05.920 texting your Instagram direct messaging and driving. There's no billboard that. 1:32:06.760 --> 1:32:10.040 If you're changing the song on your on your iPod, 1:32:10.880 --> 1:32:14.439 there's no billboard against that. You know, if you're watching 1:32:14.560 --> 1:32:21.880 TikTok while driving, no billboard. So as long as you're 1:32:21.960 --> 1:32:26.479 not like literally texting, even if you're if you're messaging 1:32:26.560 --> 1:32:29.120 someone with another iPhone, that's not texting and driving. That's 1:32:29.160 --> 1:32:32.280 eye message. That's fine. There's no law. 1:32:32.200 --> 1:32:39.880 Against that, no billboard up on it. But I do 1:32:40.040 --> 1:32:40.800 call those people in. 1:32:41.720 --> 1:32:48.559 You call them in. Oh yeah, you seem to have. 1:32:49.040 --> 1:32:51.320 Some pretty almost pretty damn close. 1:32:51.160 --> 1:32:53.639 Accidents, really, but on account of people texting. 1:32:53.439 --> 1:32:59.400 And driving, oh yeah, swervings almost sides swapping each other 1:33:00.240 --> 1:33:02.360 changing lanes at the same time, but they're both texting 1:33:02.360 --> 1:33:06.800 and drive not paying attention. It's ridiculous. It's stressful out there. 1:33:07.040 --> 1:33:11.160 To be honest, it says here that sometimes it says 1:33:11.200 --> 1:33:14.160 here sometimes that you will see people jerking off in traffic. 1:33:16.560 --> 1:33:17.840 Oh yeah, I've seen it like twice. 1:33:17.880 --> 1:33:19.840 Now, Oh my. 1:33:19.920 --> 1:33:23.120 God, I feel there. Hold on, I could have sworn 1:33:23.160 --> 1:33:27.400 there was a caller in the queue who wanted to 1:33:27.439 --> 1:33:29.200 talk about how he jerked off in traffic. 1:33:32.439 --> 1:33:33.040 Fuck that guy. 1:33:34.680 --> 1:33:39.120 Hold on, it's wait when you say when you say jerking, 1:33:39.120 --> 1:33:43.679 I don't mean the person tim Was there a caller 1:33:43.720 --> 1:33:45.519 who wanted to jerk off in traffic? I swore I 1:33:45.560 --> 1:33:49.200 could have sworn I saw it a call with that. 1:33:49.560 --> 1:33:51.759 It's so, I guess more power to him, but pay attention. 1:33:54.080 --> 1:33:57.880 Well, okay, when you say jerking off trafficks, do you 1:33:58.000 --> 1:34:03.680 mean jerking off like in when we say traffic, like 1:34:03.760 --> 1:34:05.840 how is the cars moving? 1:34:05.920 --> 1:34:08.679 Or are we like in traffic traffic in cities? 1:34:09.600 --> 1:34:14.599 Oh okay, So we're not talking like you know, moving 1:34:14.920 --> 1:34:20.200 very slowly traffic. We're talking like you know, at a 1:34:20.280 --> 1:34:20.720 red light. 1:34:22.520 --> 1:34:23.160 It's not faster. 1:34:23.680 --> 1:34:26.160 Okay, So jerking off while your car is going seventy 1:34:26.200 --> 1:34:26.639 miles an. 1:34:26.520 --> 1:34:29.519 Hour, damn right? 1:34:30.000 --> 1:34:35.439 Better than texting because you don't have to look because 1:34:35.439 --> 1:34:38.960 you don't have I disagree, because you can just you 1:34:39.040 --> 1:34:43.960 can because you can look forward and masturbate while driving, 1:34:44.120 --> 1:34:45.799 but you can if you're on texting. 1:34:45.880 --> 1:34:46.400 You have to. 1:34:47.600 --> 1:34:50.680 You have to, you know, you have to look at 1:34:50.680 --> 1:34:51.080 your phone. 1:34:55.000 --> 1:34:57.600 Well, what's jerking off them? There was one guy that 1:34:57.760 --> 1:35:01.240 was watching porn while jerking while driving down the road. 1:35:01.280 --> 1:35:03.240 This was at night, so I could see clearly into 1:35:03.320 --> 1:35:03.639 his car. 1:35:05.560 --> 1:35:10.920 Mmm, and no. Part of it was like it's kind 1:35:10.960 --> 1:35:11.439 of efficient. 1:35:15.680 --> 1:35:17.519 Part of me was like it was kind of efficient. 1:35:17.760 --> 1:35:20.559 But at the same time I was like, come on, man, 1:35:23.320 --> 1:35:25.320 so you maintaining his lane all too well? 1:35:25.560 --> 1:35:28.040 And so you said you you typically report people like that. 1:35:31.200 --> 1:35:32.400 I did not report those two. 1:35:33.840 --> 1:35:36.599 Who was the who was the last person that you reported? 1:35:41.560 --> 1:35:43.839 Another trucker actually littering? 1:35:47.120 --> 1:35:49.360 You're reporting them for littering. And when you when you 1:35:49.479 --> 1:35:58.080 make these reports, what typically follows? Are these reports actioned 1:35:58.160 --> 1:35:59.400 upon or are they forgotten? 1:36:02.640 --> 1:36:04.920 I think the littering one was forgotten about. But one 1:36:05.960 --> 1:36:09.120 I was a reckless drunk driver. I'm pretty sure he 1:36:09.280 --> 1:36:11.559 was swerving hard through traffic. People were having a hard 1:36:11.600 --> 1:36:14.439 time passing him. I called his ass in up in 1:36:14.520 --> 1:36:16.559 Missouri and they ended up catching him. 1:36:18.080 --> 1:36:18.479 M hmm. 1:36:18.960 --> 1:36:22.640 Okay, so one of our reports was actioned upon and 1:36:22.760 --> 1:36:24.240 they were he was successfully caught. 1:36:26.720 --> 1:36:28.920 Yeah, but with tex texting drivers because I've never seen 1:36:29.000 --> 1:36:31.320 him actually pulled over because usually most of time they're 1:36:31.400 --> 1:36:34.160 going the same way I am, I figured because they 1:36:34.200 --> 1:36:37.320 get off at an exit before an officer could get him. 1:36:37.760 --> 1:36:39.639 Well, well, okay, wait, hold on, hold. 1:36:39.479 --> 1:36:42.960 On, even if I call people in so you're. 1:36:43.479 --> 1:36:46.800 Wait a minute, So you're driving in your truck, right 1:36:49.320 --> 1:36:51.240 and you look to your left and you see somebody 1:36:51.320 --> 1:36:56.000 texting and driving, and you go, I'm going to report 1:36:56.040 --> 1:37:05.160 this person. It's like, but how do you report them? 1:37:08.280 --> 1:37:11.760 I have a headset that I use booth connected to 1:37:11.840 --> 1:37:12.240 my phone. 1:37:12.560 --> 1:37:15.080 Okay, I was gonna say, this feels like because it's 1:37:15.120 --> 1:37:19.120 sort of a situation where like a cop, if they 1:37:19.160 --> 1:37:22.960 want to pull over somebody who's speeding, what do they do? 1:37:23.040 --> 1:37:25.280 They got a speed speed to catch up with them 1:37:25.560 --> 1:37:26.280 to pull them over. 1:37:27.800 --> 1:37:28.000 Yep. 1:37:33.400 --> 1:37:35.680 I hate driving. I I I if I could never 1:37:36.800 --> 1:37:40.559 if I could never get into a car ever again 1:37:40.680 --> 1:37:42.400 but still be able to live a full life, I 1:37:42.680 --> 1:37:45.800 would love that. But I I I truly hate cars 1:37:45.840 --> 1:37:50.280 because you're You're right. Everyone's out there, texting, eating, jerking off, 1:37:50.600 --> 1:37:57.800 getting drunk, getting hot, all the stuff, and you know, 1:37:57.880 --> 1:37:59.760 and and I get and look, I get, I get. 1:38:00.880 --> 1:38:02.479 You know, it's a lot of time in the car. 1:38:03.800 --> 1:38:06.720 It's a lot of your time. You can't you're there. 1:38:06.800 --> 1:38:09.000 People were trying to make this into a live time. 1:38:09.080 --> 1:38:12.519 It's it's typically dead time that we give of our 1:38:12.600 --> 1:38:16.680 lives to traffic, So why not lighten the time by 1:38:16.800 --> 1:38:19.519 jerking off and getting high and eating food, you know, 1:38:20.400 --> 1:38:22.200 the stuff we would do if we weren't in our car. 1:38:23.120 --> 1:38:25.960 Put all that stuff down and just pay attention to 1:38:26.080 --> 1:38:28.320 life and live in the moment. 1:38:29.280 --> 1:38:30.120 Get out of here. 1:38:30.160 --> 1:38:35.000 Who wants to do that, right, not in this day 1:38:35.000 --> 1:38:35.320 and age? 1:38:36.760 --> 1:38:42.719 Tyler, Do you have any Do you have any other thoughts, feelings, sentiments, questions, commons, 1:38:42.720 --> 1:38:44.840 concerns that you wish to share before we go? This 1:38:45.000 --> 1:38:46.920 was a good call. I enjoyed hearing your perspective on 1:38:46.960 --> 1:38:47.360 these things. 1:38:51.320 --> 1:38:55.120 Another thing, Please drivers that did it's just a NonStop thing. 1:38:55.439 --> 1:38:57.200 Please us truckers. 1:38:57.240 --> 1:39:01.320 We wait well. In the industry that I'm in, I 1:39:01.360 --> 1:39:04.519 can weigh up to eighty thousand pounds, and we got drivers, 1:39:04.600 --> 1:39:06.640 young drivers mostly that will cut in front of us 1:39:06.680 --> 1:39:09.160 at the last second to get their exit or just 1:39:09.240 --> 1:39:11.040 to merge back in front of us when we're coming 1:39:11.080 --> 1:39:13.639 up to a stoplight or something. It takes us about 1:39:13.680 --> 1:39:16.640 two football fields and more to stop that thing. And 1:39:16.760 --> 1:39:19.439 that's why there's so many accidents because people don't give 1:39:19.560 --> 1:39:25.320 us a space in front. It's important to do that, 1:39:25.520 --> 1:39:28.240 otherwise they're gonna be a pancake. 1:39:29.439 --> 1:39:29.639 Yeah. 1:39:29.640 --> 1:39:31.000 I don't even know how you. I don't even know 1:39:31.080 --> 1:39:34.120 how you drive that big ass truck around. They're too big. 1:39:34.640 --> 1:39:35.840 I can only do a tiny little time. 1:39:35.880 --> 1:39:37.000 I've been driving a long time. 1:39:38.439 --> 1:39:40.120 Well, I hope you drive for even longer. 1:39:40.920 --> 1:39:42.599 I'm pretty confident with my drivings. 1:39:44.600 --> 1:39:47.840 Well, Tyler, I hope you drive long and forever into 1:39:47.920 --> 1:39:50.760 the sunset. And uh, I hope you have a wonder 1:39:50.800 --> 1:39:51.760 for us of the night. Thank you. 1:39:52.160 --> 1:39:57.320 That's beautiful. Hey you too, shout out. It's a powerful condor. 1:39:58.760 --> 1:40:04.600 Have a good night, Tyler, he as well. Now, I 1:40:04.680 --> 1:40:07.559 don't want to be the guy who is driving behind 1:40:07.640 --> 1:40:10.880 the guy jerking off and he comes out the window 1:40:11.000 --> 1:40:12.720 and then you just drive into it and it gets 1:40:12.760 --> 1:40:16.840 all over your windshield. That's where I think things could 1:40:16.880 --> 1:40:21.840 go wrong. You ever played Mario Clark DS. You know 1:40:21.960 --> 1:40:25.960 the squid item where you prep you do it and 1:40:26.080 --> 1:40:34.840 it makes like ink go on everyone's screen. It's like that, 1:40:35.040 --> 1:40:43.760 but with come, I don't know what I'm talking about. Hello, Hello, 1:40:44.920 --> 1:40:45.240 How are you? 1:40:46.520 --> 1:40:47.120 This therapy? 1:40:51.439 --> 1:40:52.240 Is this mister V. 1:40:54.520 --> 1:40:55.759 This is mister V speaking. 1:40:56.360 --> 1:40:57.080 How are you tonight? 1:40:57.479 --> 1:40:58.880 I'm all right? How are you? 1:41:02.200 --> 1:41:04.840 Could be better, could be worse, could be worse. 1:41:05.080 --> 1:41:07.240 Totally, could always be better, totally, could always be worse, 1:41:13.760 --> 1:41:19.519 mister V. H How could it be worse? 1:41:22.600 --> 1:41:23.719 How could it be worse? 1:41:24.280 --> 1:41:26.400 Yes, well, I guess it goes to the root of 1:41:26.400 --> 1:41:30.800 why I'm calling in today, is uh. I used to 1:41:30.840 --> 1:41:33.280 be a teacher and I quit my job, and it's 1:41:33.320 --> 1:41:37.559 been about a year now and I'm doing something completely different, 1:41:38.360 --> 1:41:40.599 and I feel like my brain is turning into mush. 1:41:41.280 --> 1:41:46.280 To be quite honest, I feel like I'm getting dumber 1:41:46.280 --> 1:41:49.160 and dumber by the day with my new job, even 1:41:49.200 --> 1:41:54.160 though I get more money and I have literally zero responsibilities. 1:41:55.640 --> 1:41:57.720 But it's kind of weird. It's kind of weird now 1:41:58.640 --> 1:42:01.280 where I go home and I do this hard labor, 1:42:01.479 --> 1:42:03.840 and I come home and I and I look in 1:42:03.920 --> 1:42:05.680 my room and I see all these books I used 1:42:05.680 --> 1:42:07.840 to read. I'm like, what happened to that guy? 1:42:08.280 --> 1:42:12.000 Mmmmmmm? Why did you? 1:42:12.160 --> 1:42:15.240 And I hear about how schools are all I'll go ahead. 1:42:15.040 --> 1:42:16.760 No, no, no, please, I want to hear. I want 1:42:16.760 --> 1:42:18.240 to hear the rest of of what you're saying. 1:42:21.760 --> 1:42:24.360 Yeah, I just hear about how schools they're all super 1:42:24.600 --> 1:42:28.360 messed up, even getting worse. And I'm just like, well, 1:42:28.360 --> 1:42:30.840 I'm glad I'm not there, but I just I have 1:42:31.080 --> 1:42:35.519 like this inner need to go teach again. I just 1:42:35.960 --> 1:42:39.240 I need adults who can't do like falpilcation and really 1:42:39.280 --> 1:42:42.000 bad geography. I'm just like, why am I here? I 1:42:42.040 --> 1:42:44.960 should be, you know, teaching people fundamental skills. 1:42:45.240 --> 1:42:46.000 M M. 1:42:47.439 --> 1:42:50.080 That's super interesting. So okay, so how long ago did 1:42:50.120 --> 1:42:51.040 you leave your teaching job. 1:42:53.360 --> 1:42:56.639 It's it's it's gonna be a year now, okay. 1:42:57.360 --> 1:43:01.800 And you are saying that you're getting paid more and 1:43:01.920 --> 1:43:05.040 that you have less responsibilities, which are two things that 1:43:05.760 --> 1:43:08.120 I feel like a lot of people look for in gigs. 1:43:08.280 --> 1:43:10.000 Is more money for less work. 1:43:10.439 --> 1:43:11.280 Is that the. 1:43:12.800 --> 1:43:15.880 Main reason why you jump ship from being a teacher 1:43:16.120 --> 1:43:18.639 is because the software had more money and less work. 1:43:20.800 --> 1:43:23.720 I know, I mostly jumped ship from teaching because like 1:43:24.240 --> 1:43:26.639 it was a good, cozy job. Yeah, it was pretty cool. 1:43:26.680 --> 1:43:29.200 I got the summers off, I got a pretty decent 1:43:29.280 --> 1:43:34.439 salary and whatever. But COVID hit and turn everything upside down, 1:43:34.520 --> 1:43:37.840 and then I got paid the tame to do like 1:43:38.360 --> 1:43:40.800 way more work. To be honest, I know people think 1:43:40.840 --> 1:43:43.960 teachers just said at home, but it was like pretty 1:43:44.000 --> 1:43:47.240 intense to go from like a lot of social interaction 1:43:47.439 --> 1:43:51.840 to virtual interaction. And yeah, and I kind of got 1:43:51.920 --> 1:43:55.160 fed up with like the federal unemployment system. So like 1:43:55.280 --> 1:43:58.479 I was like a third year teacher, and the people 1:43:58.560 --> 1:44:01.960 who were getting the federal unemployment during the time of 1:44:02.040 --> 1:44:04.519 the pandemic, we're pretty much getting the same amount of 1:44:04.560 --> 1:44:07.360 money I was getting as a teacher. But I was 1:44:07.439 --> 1:44:12.679 devoting myself five days a week right online whatever, nine 1:44:12.760 --> 1:44:16.040 hours a day plus grading and planning all day on Sunday. 1:44:16.680 --> 1:44:20.439 And I just thought, well, this is bullshit. Fuck the system. 1:44:21.160 --> 1:44:23.720 But at the same time, I'm just like, well, how 1:44:23.760 --> 1:44:26.519 do I reach these kids to make sure they can 1:44:26.600 --> 1:44:29.920 go off to get decent careers and not get ripped 1:44:29.960 --> 1:44:33.400 off by like the ice cream man or no basic geography. 1:44:33.479 --> 1:44:39.080 I guess, so it sounds as though you have I 1:44:39.160 --> 1:44:43.439 mean aside from just money, you have external desires. You 1:44:43.520 --> 1:44:47.080 wish to help people and have a genuine desire to 1:44:47.680 --> 1:44:50.799 educate them, to reach these kids. 1:44:51.200 --> 1:44:51.680 Yeah, I was. 1:44:53.680 --> 1:44:54.720 I would I would say so. 1:44:55.280 --> 1:44:58.120 I would say so. And when you first just like, well, 1:45:03.040 --> 1:45:06.080 like it's kind of weird to be honest, like being 1:45:06.120 --> 1:45:09.080 a dude teacher and like kind of like doing bro 1:45:09.280 --> 1:45:12.040 things like I'm ripping my jewel and drinking a beer 1:45:12.160 --> 1:45:16.880 right now. But like you would meet these older teacher dudes, right, 1:45:17.280 --> 1:45:21.160 You meet these older dudes, and I was like, I 1:45:21.240 --> 1:45:23.400 don't really want to end up like these guys. You know, 1:45:24.439 --> 1:45:26.639 that looks kind of crappy, you know what I mean. 1:45:27.320 --> 1:45:29.280 But then I look at the people at my new job, 1:45:29.760 --> 1:45:31.120 I'm like, I don't want to end up. 1:45:31.040 --> 1:45:33.400 Like these people either. It sucks too. 1:45:34.280 --> 1:45:36.400 So I feel like it's just like a lose lose 1:45:36.479 --> 1:45:39.920 situation across the board. But at least I'm getting more money. 1:45:40.760 --> 1:45:41.880 But I work. 1:45:42.160 --> 1:45:44.640 I'm like from the Midwest, and like I work now 1:45:44.720 --> 1:45:47.680 in like an automobile factory, and I do like the 1:45:47.800 --> 1:45:52.160 same thing over like six hundred times a day. As 1:45:52.240 --> 1:45:54.920 much as like it was fun at the beginning, like oh, 1:45:55.040 --> 1:45:57.840 this is like super easy I just get paid to 1:45:57.920 --> 1:46:00.639 do this. But then after a while you're like, wow, 1:46:00.760 --> 1:46:02.120 like my brain is mush. 1:46:01.960 --> 1:46:04.920 Right now, like so so so hold on, hold, I 1:46:04.960 --> 1:46:06.240 want to stop. I want to stop you real quick. 1:46:06.479 --> 1:46:11.000 So you said that. You So you're at this teaching 1:46:11.080 --> 1:46:17.000 job and you're having uh whatever COVID's going on, the 1:46:17.040 --> 1:46:21.720 gig is changing all these sort of things, and you 1:46:22.040 --> 1:46:25.639 have these older teachers that you're looking at, and you're 1:46:25.680 --> 1:46:28.080 looking at them and you're going, I don't know if 1:46:28.120 --> 1:46:30.160 I want to be this guy when I'm you know, 1:46:30.760 --> 1:46:34.320 sixty years old. Whatever it is? What what is it 1:46:35.080 --> 1:46:38.840 about the older teachers that you look at and you 1:46:39.000 --> 1:46:41.720 see and it makes you go, I don't, I don't, 1:46:41.760 --> 1:46:42.560 I don't. I don't want that. 1:46:45.680 --> 1:46:48.160 Well, there was two case scenarios. We'll call him mister 1:46:48.479 --> 1:46:51.880 X and mister Y. Right, let's call mister X the 1:46:51.960 --> 1:46:55.479 good guy. Right, he was married, he had to get kids. 1:46:56.640 --> 1:47:00.320 But you can tell mister X, like, you know, he 1:47:00.640 --> 1:47:04.040 didn't have like nice things. He drove a beat up, 1:47:04.800 --> 1:47:07.240 you know, minivan. I'm pretty sure he probably struggled to 1:47:07.280 --> 1:47:09.640 pay the bills. And you know that I don't want 1:47:09.680 --> 1:47:12.040 to live a life like that, you know, taking care 1:47:12.040 --> 1:47:14.000 of my kids on a teacher salary. 1:47:14.560 --> 1:47:15.759 You know, it kind of sucks. 1:47:16.240 --> 1:47:19.600 But then there was mister Why. And mister Why was 1:47:19.720 --> 1:47:23.920 like the long term playboy bachelor who takes trips to 1:47:24.760 --> 1:47:29.000 the Netherlands in Columbia to do god knows what. And 1:47:29.080 --> 1:47:30.680 I'm like, well, I don't want to end up like that. 1:47:30.800 --> 1:47:32.840 Either, because that's a really shallow. 1:47:32.960 --> 1:47:38.320 Existence, you know. I'm like, that's like, that's even though 1:47:38.360 --> 1:47:41.080 they're completely polar opposites. I'm like, I feel that's you're 1:47:41.160 --> 1:47:43.799 gonna be one or the other. And they both sucked. 1:47:44.320 --> 1:47:49.640 I'm like, why why do you feel as though you 1:47:49.840 --> 1:47:54.160 can only be one or the other? 1:47:57.200 --> 1:47:59.519 I just I mean, like, well, I mean on a 1:47:59.600 --> 1:48:01.720 teacher's salary, it's kind of hard to kind of really 1:48:01.760 --> 1:48:06.439 do anything, to be quite honest. So like it's either 1:48:06.520 --> 1:48:10.200 you live for yourself only yourself, like you do your 1:48:10.240 --> 1:48:13.080 thing for the kids, obviously, but you really only live 1:48:13.160 --> 1:48:16.560 for yourself because you really don't make that much, or 1:48:16.840 --> 1:48:18.720 like you kind of do like the whole family thing. 1:48:19.560 --> 1:48:23.200 But then like when it's bill time, like fuck, like 1:48:23.640 --> 1:48:25.080 how am I going to do this? Like how am 1:48:25.080 --> 1:48:26.920 I going to put my kids through college? 1:48:27.360 --> 1:48:32.799 Mister V what's what what what's important to you? Because 1:48:32.800 --> 1:48:35.000 I know that you're looking at the and and I 1:48:35.160 --> 1:48:37.439 understand this. I understand this for sure. It's nice to 1:48:37.479 --> 1:48:42.080 have like models of you know what could be, but 1:48:42.760 --> 1:48:45.519 when you really think about it and you think about 1:48:45.520 --> 1:48:47.280 your life and you think about your options and you 1:48:47.360 --> 1:48:50.479 think about you know what, what is important to you? 1:48:53.920 --> 1:49:00.400 What's important to me is uh family, having like nice things, 1:49:00.680 --> 1:49:04.200 working hard, I guess, and being smart. I guess like 1:49:04.320 --> 1:49:07.280 I like to use my brain. I feel like I 1:49:07.320 --> 1:49:10.479 feel like this job like underutilizes me so much. I'm 1:49:10.520 --> 1:49:14.560 like I look like I don't know. I guess, like 1:49:15.120 --> 1:49:17.600 because it's been a whole year, right, and I like 1:49:18.360 --> 1:49:22.439 didn't teach. I had zero responsibilities. I had no I 1:49:22.520 --> 1:49:25.120 had zero like community commitment where I had to be 1:49:25.200 --> 1:49:27.719 like a role model citizen at the CPS and stuff 1:49:27.800 --> 1:49:30.120 like I could do whatever I want, Like I grew 1:49:30.160 --> 1:49:33.840 my hair out right, wore different shoes, like, wore different 1:49:33.880 --> 1:49:36.720 clothes like it was sweet. But then like as the 1:49:36.800 --> 1:49:40.599 year went on, I'm like, fuck, like kind of want 1:49:40.720 --> 1:49:43.080 some responsibilities. But then people look at the like you're 1:49:43.120 --> 1:49:43.759 fucking crazy. 1:49:44.000 --> 1:49:50.280 Well well, well, okay, so you say you have twenty 1:49:50.360 --> 1:49:52.560 six as well, okay, so you say you have not 1:49:52.800 --> 1:49:56.800 no responsibilities, but relatively minor responsibilities at this new gig. 1:49:59.439 --> 1:50:00.720 Yes, So. 1:50:02.560 --> 1:50:10.000 I don't know what would stop you then from trying 1:50:10.120 --> 1:50:13.439 to get creative because you seem like you're a creative 1:50:13.479 --> 1:50:16.320 guy and somebody can use your brain. I feel like 1:50:16.560 --> 1:50:22.599 for you, there could be a creative way on whatever 1:50:22.720 --> 1:50:28.240 your off time is to find a new type of venture. 1:50:29.880 --> 1:50:31.240 And I don't know what it would be. I'm not 1:50:31.280 --> 1:50:33.560 going to give you any sort of example because I 1:50:33.640 --> 1:50:36.559 don't I don't know. I just want to like plant 1:50:36.600 --> 1:50:40.160 the seed in your head of like that it's that 1:50:40.280 --> 1:50:43.439 it's possible. That's something to think about, Like what what 1:50:43.560 --> 1:50:47.120 would be the venture on the side for you that 1:50:47.160 --> 1:50:50.120 would allow you to use your brain, that would allow 1:50:51.120 --> 1:50:55.720 you to form a community? And I feel like, and 1:50:55.840 --> 1:50:59.080 again I'm playing armchair Gecko therapist here, but there's a 1:50:59.200 --> 1:51:03.920 there's a very very narrow binary thinking here of like 1:51:04.040 --> 1:51:06.439 I can either be this guy or I can be 1:51:06.520 --> 1:51:09.080 this guy. And it's like, my friend, we live in 1:51:09.600 --> 1:51:13.960 twenty twenty two, or an interconnected society we have, the 1:51:14.080 --> 1:51:16.920 computer we have, I mean, there's never been more tools 1:51:16.960 --> 1:51:21.880 available to human being to create community, to use their brain. 1:51:22.640 --> 1:51:25.559 And I would just sort of think in your off time, 1:51:25.640 --> 1:51:27.519 if you are telling me that you have more money 1:51:27.560 --> 1:51:31.000 and less responsibilities and you do have free time, I 1:51:31.040 --> 1:51:35.080 would I would only encourage you to at least think 1:51:35.160 --> 1:51:39.720 about ways in which in which you could form a 1:51:39.840 --> 1:51:44.280 new venture or activity or or something that could allow 1:51:44.360 --> 1:51:47.720 you to use your brain. Community you jam, I mean, 1:51:47.760 --> 1:51:50.240 that's a great that's a great idea. You know, there's 1:51:50.280 --> 1:51:53.439 something like that, you know, but it's. 1:51:53.880 --> 1:51:58.439 It's like, mister Ghek, like when you're a teacher, like 1:51:58.880 --> 1:52:02.559 it really you take it. You take it on fully. 1:52:02.920 --> 1:52:03.040 You know. 1:52:03.160 --> 1:52:05.479 It's hard to like walk in at the door at 1:52:05.479 --> 1:52:07.839 the end of the day and like put the teacher 1:52:08.000 --> 1:52:10.760 hat off, like it kind of stays on all the time. Yeah, 1:52:11.040 --> 1:52:13.400 you know what I mean. And then I just feel 1:52:13.439 --> 1:52:17.040 really conflicted with my identity nowadays, you know what I mean. 1:52:17.240 --> 1:52:21.320 Like before, when I was a teacher, I'd be at 1:52:21.320 --> 1:52:24.719 the store or around you know, people who had kids, 1:52:24.800 --> 1:52:27.760 and like I would like always test their timestables and 1:52:28.240 --> 1:52:31.200 can they can they can they do subtraction with money 1:52:31.360 --> 1:52:34.360 or anything? You know, just basic teacher stuff that I 1:52:34.439 --> 1:52:37.240 feel like kids could use and not be on their phones. 1:52:37.320 --> 1:52:41.200 And nowadays, I just like I look at kids, I'm 1:52:41.240 --> 1:52:45.040 just like, not my job, you know, it's not my 1:52:45.200 --> 1:52:48.400 job anymore. But then there's like a guilt on the inside. 1:52:48.400 --> 1:52:50.080 I'm like, well, that kid's not going to know the 1:52:50.120 --> 1:52:52.680 difference between China and Taiwan, you know what I mean. 1:52:52.800 --> 1:52:55.400 That's an important issue. I feel like most people should 1:52:55.479 --> 1:52:58.080 know about this kind of stuff or just any basic things. 1:52:58.479 --> 1:53:03.160 And especially because ironically enough, I was a science teacher 1:53:04.000 --> 1:53:08.920 who left during COVID because I realize education is just 1:53:09.080 --> 1:53:12.960 kind of not very scientific in regards to how they 1:53:13.040 --> 1:53:18.479 handle things. So it's just it's just like mister Gek. 1:53:18.600 --> 1:53:20.800 Just to be quite frank, it's just like, you know, 1:53:20.920 --> 1:53:24.160 how you're Lyle and your mister Ghek. It's like imagine 1:53:24.200 --> 1:53:26.920 hanging up the mister Ghek forever, you know, or something 1:53:27.040 --> 1:53:29.200 happened where you had to give up the mister Gek 1:53:29.280 --> 1:53:32.360 earth being mister Ghek became too much. 1:53:32.600 --> 1:53:35.400 You call me Gek. You don't have to call me 1:53:35.520 --> 1:53:36.080 mister Gek. 1:53:38.840 --> 1:53:41.439 It's a respect thing the teacher hats on, you know. 1:53:41.680 --> 1:53:44.840 But it's kind of that feeling, and I hope you 1:53:44.960 --> 1:53:48.040 never have that feeling, you know, walking away from something 1:53:48.080 --> 1:53:51.240 you're so passionate about because you have to, you know. 1:53:51.960 --> 1:53:56.200 Well, would you say a name was mister v mister 1:53:56.320 --> 1:54:00.120 v V In whatever you do, I wish you good luck. 1:54:02.280 --> 1:54:04.439 You take care of I'm mister go Thank you, mister Van. 1:54:05.760 --> 1:54:05.920 Yeah. 1:54:05.920 --> 1:54:08.920 I don't know why mister Ghak makes me feel super uncomfortable. 1:54:11.760 --> 1:54:12.960 I I don't. I don't. 1:54:14.400 --> 1:54:14.560 You know. 1:54:14.640 --> 1:54:21.840 I'm not a teacher, not a guru, never never, never 1:54:21.920 --> 1:54:29.240 had any interest in, never had any interest in presenting 1:54:29.320 --> 1:54:37.320 myself as such. Merely, truly, truly, I only wish to 1:54:37.360 --> 1:54:40.880 present myself and I hope I'm doing it. I hope 1:54:40.920 --> 1:54:43.440 I'm doing this properly, because sometimes I feel I'm afraid 1:54:43.480 --> 1:54:46.600 that I'm not. But I I really, truly, at the 1:54:46.680 --> 1:54:48.360 end of the day, I only wish to present myself 1:54:50.560 --> 1:54:52.960 as a crazy person in a gackle costume on the internet. 1:54:54.480 --> 1:55:05.160 Hello, Hello, Hello, Well hey, it's a good professor. 1:55:07.440 --> 1:55:08.720 Why do you say I'm a professor? 1:55:13.800 --> 1:55:18.280 Well, you didn't like mister, and you've got some credibility. 1:55:18.400 --> 1:55:20.120 I think I don't. 1:55:21.040 --> 1:55:21.640 But how are you doing? 1:55:22.280 --> 1:55:25.120 I don't know if I mean, I don't. Here's the thing. 1:55:25.200 --> 1:55:28.400 I know that there's people watching my stream and stuff. 1:55:28.520 --> 1:55:30.120 But I don't know if that inherently, I don't know 1:55:30.160 --> 1:55:35.040 if followers gives you inherent credibility. What do you I mean, 1:55:35.080 --> 1:55:37.720 what is your genuine opinion? What is your genuine opinion 1:55:37.760 --> 1:55:37.960 on that? 1:55:38.480 --> 1:55:43.200 Yeah, talks taught me that. TikTok has taught me that 1:55:43.360 --> 1:55:46.640 you will find a following in anything. And if you 1:55:46.720 --> 1:55:48.960 want to talk to the community, you're going to get it. 1:55:49.800 --> 1:55:55.360 But you you welcome and you embrace a welcome environment. 1:55:56.000 --> 1:55:56.400 Mm hmm. 1:55:56.800 --> 1:55:59.920 And so you stand out with a ruby. 1:56:01.360 --> 1:56:01.520 You know. 1:56:01.680 --> 1:56:04.680 Here's the thing, though, is you can say and if 1:56:04.760 --> 1:56:10.320 you like, like if your friend tells you something, you're like, well, 1:56:11.000 --> 1:56:12.880 who the fuck is this guy? Like if if you 1:56:13.000 --> 1:56:16.560 meet someone at a party and they start like saying 1:56:16.760 --> 1:56:21.680 giving you advice about something, or or going on spiel 1:56:21.840 --> 1:56:24.480 or making statements of opinion or anything like that, You're like, 1:56:24.840 --> 1:56:27.280 who is this person? What the fuck are they saying? 1:56:27.360 --> 1:56:30.360 But if you saw a TikTok of a rand of 1:56:30.440 --> 1:56:33.240 that same person, but of a random person. But you 1:56:33.360 --> 1:56:35.320 saw it and I had a bunch of like likes 1:56:35.520 --> 1:56:37.000 on it and a bunch of people commenting on it, 1:56:37.040 --> 1:56:40.839 it was it was like presented to you as media. 1:56:41.720 --> 1:56:44.720 You would be like, oh, what's this? I agree with that, 1:56:44.960 --> 1:56:49.800 but there's no difference between the two really, So everyone 1:56:49.960 --> 1:56:53.160 is just saying things and hoping that they resonate with 1:56:53.240 --> 1:56:57.200 people in some way, but there's no credibility to anyone. Hey, 1:56:57.240 --> 1:57:00.960 when people say things. I picked the worst thing to do. 1:57:01.120 --> 1:57:04.800 I picked a podcast where I say things and people 1:57:04.840 --> 1:57:07.680 say I hate saying things. I hate listening to things. 1:57:08.400 --> 1:57:10.480 I'm going to complete another nightmare. 1:57:10.400 --> 1:57:14.360 Hearing fingers in front of a turtle. 1:57:16.320 --> 1:57:22.840 How can I get you? This evening? I promise I'm 1:57:22.840 --> 1:57:26.120 gonna find a better thing to say to transition into 1:57:26.240 --> 1:57:28.200 like the what the part of the call where we 1:57:28.280 --> 1:57:30.640 talk about the thing, But for now I'm using how 1:57:30.680 --> 1:57:32.200 can we How can I get you? Yeah? 1:57:34.480 --> 1:57:38.760 Absolutely absolutely? For some advice, I don't know what the 1:57:38.880 --> 1:57:41.800 moderator told you. For a little side quest today, I 1:57:41.880 --> 1:57:45.400 accidentally drink my own year. Can you repeat that I 1:57:45.480 --> 1:57:49.240 have a relationship with Say that again? 1:57:49.400 --> 1:57:50.120 Can you repeat that. 1:57:53.800 --> 1:57:55.040 I drink my own year? 1:57:55.120 --> 1:58:00.920 In on accidents? This about seven o'clock. But I was 1:58:01.040 --> 1:58:05.640 mainly calling because I have a very nice relationship with 1:58:06.120 --> 1:58:12.200 a with a with a wonderful girl, and I've been 1:58:12.320 --> 1:58:14.480 just like trying to find jobs, and it's hard to 1:58:14.520 --> 1:58:19.200 put myself out there and find relationships and get get 1:58:20.240 --> 1:58:27.280 connected to people. It's applying LinkedIn and your forms it. 1:58:27.640 --> 1:58:31.160 Everybody wants something different and everyone says they're hiring, but 1:58:31.240 --> 1:58:35.080 they're not. And it's just I haven't been able to 1:58:35.120 --> 1:58:37.920 find employment. I'm just you know, I'm just kind of 1:58:38.040 --> 1:58:42.560 vibing through life, living at my parents and trying to 1:58:42.640 --> 1:58:46.320 remain happy. But yeah, what do you have to think 1:58:46.360 --> 1:58:46.920 about them? 1:58:48.560 --> 1:58:54.040 You said you drank your own urine this morning, not. 1:58:54.200 --> 1:59:00.240 This morning, this evening accidentally, because I pulled it all 1:59:00.360 --> 1:59:04.480 nighter and I went to go get some donuts from 1:59:04.640 --> 1:59:07.840 my family in the morning about five am. I was 1:59:07.920 --> 1:59:12.240 in the parking lot of h EB and Man, I 1:59:12.400 --> 1:59:14.880 just had to pee and I had tinted windows, so 1:59:15.600 --> 1:59:15.960 I had a. 1:59:15.960 --> 1:59:16.920 Little water bottle. 1:59:17.000 --> 1:59:17.200 You know. 1:59:17.480 --> 1:59:19.440 It got took care of it. I threw in my 1:59:19.520 --> 1:59:21.840 back right seat because I have a two door. I 1:59:21.920 --> 1:59:24.120 didn't want anyone happen to see it while I was 1:59:24.200 --> 1:59:29.800 inside shopping, right, so I threw it back there. Has 1:59:29.880 --> 1:59:32.000 forgotten about it. Me and my girlfriend when we were 1:59:32.040 --> 1:59:35.680 in my car, we always throw water bottles on the ground, right. Well, 1:59:35.720 --> 1:59:37.960 that's tonight I went to go pick up some cow 1:59:38.200 --> 1:59:46.480 zones right, some fresh mosaicoli and some boy some good dessert, and. 1:59:48.160 --> 1:59:48.840 I went to go. 1:59:49.120 --> 1:59:51.680 I was like, wow, I'm really parked. Once go grab 1:59:51.800 --> 1:59:54.880 some water from behind me instead of behind my seat. 1:59:54.920 --> 1:59:57.640 I went to the far back right. I forgot about 1:59:57.640 --> 2:00:01.560 my bottle and the disaster already hit me. Had to 2:00:01.600 --> 2:00:04.680 flush my mouth out with another little water bottle, add 2:00:04.760 --> 2:00:08.720 some kombusha. Some might say that was worse, but it 2:00:08.800 --> 2:00:09.200 was great. 2:00:12.840 --> 2:00:15.760 So you flushed out your mouth with a second water bottle. 2:00:19.240 --> 2:00:19.480 I what? 2:00:21.040 --> 2:00:21.920 And what did it tastes? 2:00:22.000 --> 2:00:22.040 Like? 2:00:25.600 --> 2:00:29.200 See, that's the thing. It's been really cold and texted lately, 2:00:29.880 --> 2:00:32.720 so it was about like forty outs today, and so 2:00:32.840 --> 2:00:36.200 instead of hot in like ammonia, it was kind of 2:00:36.440 --> 2:00:41.040 like a really watered down but slightly lemon added tastes 2:00:41.640 --> 2:00:46.280 to a very bad power aid for McDonald's served in 2:00:46.360 --> 2:00:49.200 the plastic cuts, you know, a really big large cups 2:00:49.800 --> 2:00:54.920 with too much ice. It was cold, it was it 2:00:55.000 --> 2:00:56.800 didn't do it. I opened up my window. I had 2:00:56.840 --> 2:00:57.480 to spit it out. 2:00:57.720 --> 2:00:58.960 I had to get some other water. 2:00:59.280 --> 2:01:01.560 I didn't think I was tell anybody to tonight, but 2:01:01.720 --> 2:01:04.680 I told my girlfriend and then we went to see 2:01:04.720 --> 2:01:08.720 when you had last put some footage, and it was Friday, 2:01:08.880 --> 2:01:12.120 and I'm like, oh, this man has a schedule. So 2:01:12.400 --> 2:01:14.720 that's where we're at. Lyle, is it okay if I 2:01:14.760 --> 2:01:16.280 say Lyle? My name is Jared. 2:01:18.960 --> 2:01:24.560 And how did this experience make you feel in the 2:01:24.680 --> 2:01:27.480 macro about your life as a whole? 2:01:30.920 --> 2:01:34.480 In the macro, I really need to move out. My 2:01:34.600 --> 2:01:40.200 mother's toxic. But in the macro some year it's not 2:01:40.280 --> 2:01:43.160 going to change that. My my every day was pretty good. 2:01:43.240 --> 2:01:46.080 I love my girlfriend. Your girlfriend is your hands shut 2:01:46.120 --> 2:01:46.920 a chill out. 2:01:48.600 --> 2:01:49.800 All to reach out? 2:01:49.960 --> 2:01:51.000 No, you're not allowed to reach out. 2:01:51.600 --> 2:01:55.200 Okay, Oh, I'm so. 2:01:55.280 --> 2:01:56.720 Sorry, you are breaking rules. 2:02:00.560 --> 2:02:05.640 I apologie. I just heard two mutics. But in the 2:02:05.800 --> 2:02:10.200 math ro it's changed me for the better. I'm glad 2:02:10.280 --> 2:02:12.760 it happened. It wasn't pleasant, but I've learned from it. 2:02:13.720 --> 2:02:14.600 What have you learned from it? 2:02:19.280 --> 2:02:21.760 Not to throw water bottles on the floor. And I'm 2:02:21.800 --> 2:02:23.400 not going to allow my girlfriend to do it either. 2:02:23.840 --> 2:02:26.520 Granted she doesn't pee in water bottles in my car. 2:02:28.040 --> 2:02:34.480 But you win some, you lose some, right like unmedicated 2:02:34.520 --> 2:02:39.040 adhd man, It's you have some great three four days, 2:02:39.120 --> 2:02:42.200 but then you have some depression naps for you know, 2:02:42.320 --> 2:02:44.360 about a week trying. It's hard to take care of 2:02:44.360 --> 2:02:47.080 yourself a shower. You really have to think about and 2:02:47.280 --> 2:02:49.600 work yourself into doing it because you know it's for 2:02:49.760 --> 2:02:52.120 the better, even if you don't go outside today, even 2:02:52.160 --> 2:02:54.200 if you're on the computer, just trying to shower yourself 2:02:54.240 --> 2:02:56.560 as hard after about two and a half three days. 2:02:58.120 --> 2:03:01.440 But yeah, what do you what do you do on 2:03:01.520 --> 2:03:01.880 the computer? 2:03:08.680 --> 2:03:13.000 So here's the thing, toxic trait. I know legal legends 2:03:13.160 --> 2:03:17.600 back in season three, but that that got me into 2:03:17.600 --> 2:03:22.680 building computers. But before that, my dad's an electronics engineers, 2:03:22.800 --> 2:03:26.840 so I always soldered and desoldered printed circuit boards with him. 2:03:28.280 --> 2:03:30.560 I already forgot where this question is going. I am 2:03:31.080 --> 2:03:32.560 are you addicted to anything? While? 2:03:34.480 --> 2:03:35.600 Am I addicted to anything? 2:03:38.400 --> 2:03:38.600 Yeah? 2:03:40.440 --> 2:03:45.560 Sugarh word heard. 2:03:46.040 --> 2:03:49.080 Maybe maybe a little bit of porn. I could probably, 2:03:49.120 --> 2:03:51.120 I could. I could probably reasonably quit porn for a while. 2:03:51.280 --> 2:03:52.600 Absolutely. 2:03:53.480 --> 2:03:56.920 I I don't think I'm addicted to weed. I think 2:03:57.000 --> 2:03:58.400 of all the of all the things. 2:03:58.640 --> 2:04:04.480 For the animated, you have the animated stuff, sorry to 2:04:04.520 --> 2:04:14.280 talk to over animated drawn you know hen Ti, Yeah, yeah, absolutely, 2:04:14.960 --> 2:04:19.520 the Jinci do you know the girlfriend's Twitter porn account. 2:04:19.720 --> 2:04:21.600 You know, no, what is that. 2:04:24.960 --> 2:04:28.000 Oh, she just has a Twitter account for her porn page. 2:04:28.040 --> 2:04:31.120 You know that's private because Twitter thinks that every single 2:04:31.200 --> 2:04:33.840 thing you like should be told to every single friend 2:04:33.880 --> 2:04:37.680 of yours. Crazy man, my bed's come to you. 2:04:39.200 --> 2:04:40.160 What do you say? Her name was. 2:04:43.880 --> 2:04:44.240 Jared. 2:04:45.080 --> 2:04:46.320 Thank you very much for calling Jared. 2:04:49.000 --> 2:04:50.040 Thank you so much, brother. 2:05:00.280 --> 2:05:02.480 But it is not really an expert