1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,320 Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for 2 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:07,520 Speaker 1: himotes strong baby letters, subject my husband is not handling 3 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:11,920 Speaker 1: his business. Hi Stephen Shirley, I really need your advice. 4 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,720 Speaker 1: I'm a thirty two year old woman and my husband 5 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:17,760 Speaker 1: is thirty seven. When we first got married, our sex 6 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:22,440 Speaker 1: life was amazing. About three years into our marriage, intimacy 7 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:26,880 Speaker 1: became an issue. My husband started making excuses for not 8 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,360 Speaker 1: wanting to do it. He never wanted to have sex anymore. 9 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,080 Speaker 1: When we did do it, he would just lie there 10 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:37,120 Speaker 1: like he forgot what to do. So I came out 11 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 1: of my comfort zone to try to get him excited. 12 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 1: I would turn on porn, talk dirty to him, go 13 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,920 Speaker 1: to bed naked, get my hair done regularly, and even 14 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:50,680 Speaker 1: dress sexy. Nothing worked. After a while, I started to 15 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:55,279 Speaker 1: feel unattractive and unwanted. I um questioned his commitment to 16 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 1: me and our relationship, and he swore to me that 17 00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,760 Speaker 1: he still loved me and that he didn't think we 18 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:02,680 Speaker 1: had problem with our sex life. I suspected that he 19 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:06,120 Speaker 1: was cheating, and I snooped through his things, but I 20 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:10,120 Speaker 1: never found anything. So I started planning to have an 21 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:12,759 Speaker 1: affair with the guy that I worked with. I started 22 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 1: staying out and entertaining this man at his house. But 23 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,880 Speaker 1: that didn't work out for me, so I ended that fling. 24 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 1: My husband could feel that something wasn't right, so when 25 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:25,720 Speaker 1: I stopped coming in late, he changed. He was all 26 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 1: over me and we were having lots of sex and 27 00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:32,800 Speaker 1: everything was great. Then about seven months ago, we fell 28 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 1: into another dry spell. I can't take this anymore. I'm 29 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,080 Speaker 1: only thirty two years old and my husband is not 30 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:44,360 Speaker 1: handling his business in the bedroom. I'm screaming on the inside. 31 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 1: What's the woman to do? Please help? Well, it sounds 32 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 1: like you've done pretty much everything, uh you know, to 33 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:53,080 Speaker 1: get it going on in your marriage and in the bedroom. 34 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:57,280 Speaker 1: But really, um, I got nothing here. Either, he's no 35 00:01:57,320 --> 00:02:00,400 Speaker 1: longer attracted to you in that way I bought it. 36 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 1: I'm here, okay, I know you are darling. Okay. Either 37 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:06,640 Speaker 1: he's no longer attracted to you, like I said, he's 38 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,560 Speaker 1: no longer interested in being married or being married to you, 39 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:13,080 Speaker 1: or he has some sort of medical or mental issue 40 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 1: going on, or maybe he's bisexual or gay, or maybe 41 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:20,400 Speaker 1: he's just playing lazy, or maybe I don't know, maybe 42 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,000 Speaker 1: he's just not into you anymore. Like the book in 43 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 1: the movie said, yeah, I got nothing. That's it. That's 44 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:31,919 Speaker 1: what I just now. I'm interned him gay. I'm just 45 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:35,679 Speaker 1: throwing it out there. You never know. He's not he's 46 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 1: not interested. Go ahead, Steve, all right, here's a deal. 47 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:45,800 Speaker 1: Classroom is in session. Have unded attention, sir. I don't 48 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:50,040 Speaker 1: just pooh pooh my answer like that, you poopoo. I'm 49 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:57,560 Speaker 1: talking to Steve now, the way you said it, I 50 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 1: took offense to that. And that's okay, isn't it class? 51 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 1: I just said classes and sex. Dismiss it? Okay, it 52 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 1: was good stuff in there? Why to say it wasn't. Yeah. 53 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,720 Speaker 1: I can tell she doesn't feel comfortable with to go here. 54 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:24,800 Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm good. Tell me quit being an instigator. 55 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 1: Get messy? Are you worried about here? My husband is 56 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 1: not handling his business. M. She thirty two, he thirty seven. 57 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 1: They first got married, they was having sex all the time, everywhere. 58 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 1: About three years into the marriage, intimacy became an initial. 59 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:50,000 Speaker 1: My husband started making excuse me for not wanting to 60 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,320 Speaker 1: do it. He never wanted to have sex anymore. And 61 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 1: when we do do it, he would just lie there 62 00:03:55,920 --> 00:04:03,240 Speaker 1: like he forgot what to do. M. Now look, let's 63 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: just get to this better, because I already know it's 64 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: one of three things and that's all it is. But 65 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 1: since you want to go down the letter, no, no, 66 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:17,920 Speaker 1: let me, I'll tell you what I'm gonna go out 67 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:21,360 Speaker 1: of order. Here is the one of two things that's wrong, 68 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 1: But there is also a third thing. I'm gonna say 69 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 1: that for last. That could be number one. A financial issue. 70 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,800 Speaker 1: How is your man doing in terms of where he 71 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 1: wants to be in life? Is he where he wants 72 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 1: to be? Does he feel like he could do more? 73 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 1: Is he behind the eight ball? Is he playing catch up? 74 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 1: Because when we are not financially secure and we don't 75 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:51,440 Speaker 1: got our money together, and why are we're gonna make 76 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:55,120 Speaker 1: it to take care of body? It throws us into something. 77 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 1: Women have a biological clock that ticks me, and have 78 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: a financial clock that text his financial clock alarm could 79 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 1: have gone off. That's one reason it could be purely financial. 80 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,960 Speaker 1: Them bills, the burden of having to take care of everybody. 81 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 1: How much he making, how much you get to keep? 82 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 1: Can he go play golf? Can he buy pairs shoes? 83 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 1: Did you have everything you want? What is it? What 84 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:21,240 Speaker 1: is it? What is it? It? Could be financial. Second reason, 85 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 1: it could be a physical problem. Impetucy in men is 86 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,679 Speaker 1: a big thing. All you gotta do is watch TV. 87 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 1: They got a commercial on every five minutes. G n 88 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:35,600 Speaker 1: C got testoster On, got Big Frank Thomas in there. Tomaw, 89 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,799 Speaker 1: I'll take the testoster on. Tell I'm back. I should 90 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:41,880 Speaker 1: wish my husband take We'll get him something. Then they 91 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,279 Speaker 1: got the viagralar commercial. Dude, and they got a one 92 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 1: hundred milligram pack just stuck in his luggage where you 93 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 1: ain't got a catahole bottle. And they got his luggage open. 94 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,600 Speaker 1: Why he got this pack of viagra laying out and 95 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,800 Speaker 1: hoping in this damn luggage and somebody could take your piel. 96 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 1: Now you're weak in this shot. See Alan's got them 97 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: to people hold their hands in the bathtub, where as 98 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,120 Speaker 1: you at where you got two separate bathtubs sitting next 99 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:08,719 Speaker 1: to each other on the mountain. Nice commercial ain't true. 100 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:22,800 Speaker 1: See alice filagrel testosterone alpha male extends. Now that could 101 00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 1: be his problem, But I think the problem is deeper 102 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 1: than that. When we come back, I'm gonna tell you 103 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 1: the third reason that you might have to look into. 104 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,760 Speaker 1: Let's go with part two of your response to today's 105 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 1: Strawberry letter. My husband is not handling his business. Well 106 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:46,240 Speaker 1: he ain't he ain't you thirty two thirds y'all's first 107 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 1: start having sex, it was amazing. Now three years in 108 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:52,360 Speaker 1: y'all hit something wrong and you don't know what it is. 109 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 1: And then when you do have sex with him, he 110 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 1: laying there like he didn't forgot what to do, lack 111 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 1: of interest. Something is on his mind. One of two 112 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:03,280 Speaker 1: things I told you, But it's a third thing too, 113 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,680 Speaker 1: and it's in your letter. I just want to point 114 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 1: it out. It could be financial. The man ain't where 115 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:10,760 Speaker 1: he wanted to be when we got financial wolds and 116 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 1: where he's own us man, it changes us. Sexual appetite 117 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 1: diminishes a bit because we're trying to figure out how 118 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:19,400 Speaker 1: to get this thing together. It could be financial. Financial 119 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 1: clock is ticket second reason. Here's the other reason. It 120 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: could be a physical problem. You see the commercials on 121 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 1: TV five Viagragh got new package. You can buy a 122 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,640 Speaker 1: hundred milligram the weekend package. Put one in your luggage. 123 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 1: But now he got it right up under the fish 124 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,320 Speaker 1: net on his luggage, so the t s a man 125 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 1: can see it unzipped, act like he's searching. Now he 126 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:45,880 Speaker 1: got his viagra. Now your whole weekend shot. See Alice 127 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:52,000 Speaker 1: has got commercials, m M everything. There's an alarming note 128 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,360 Speaker 1: on one of the commercials. Just just a side note. 129 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,800 Speaker 1: You have an erection lasting more than four hours, call 130 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 1: your doctor? Why would I do that? Why would I 131 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 1: call anybody that's had a long time four hours? I'm 132 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:10,920 Speaker 1: not calling nobody. What are you doing? I'm taking time 133 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:18,040 Speaker 1: coded selfies. I'm gonna record this from every angle that's 134 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:23,360 Speaker 1: one hour. Steal him an hour. You get an hour, 135 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,480 Speaker 1: you boy that you're doing something two hours. I got 136 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 1: to send this to somebody. Okay, So there we have it. 137 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 1: Now here's the third reason, young lady, that you might 138 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:38,000 Speaker 1: have to look at. And I discovered it in your 139 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:41,000 Speaker 1: in your letter, you said when when we do do it, 140 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 1: he would just lie to in act like he forgot Ah, 141 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:49,599 Speaker 1: here we go, So I got. I came out of 142 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:55,480 Speaker 1: my comfort zone to try to get him excited. So 143 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:57,719 Speaker 1: now you didn't come out your comfort zone to get 144 00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:03,320 Speaker 1: him excited. I would turn earn on poet, talk daddy 145 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:09,040 Speaker 1: to him, go to bed naked, get my hair done regularly, 146 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 1: and even dress sexy, nothing work, So let's pump the brake. 147 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 1: So until you before all this was happening, what were 148 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:22,319 Speaker 1: you doing. Weren't no talking dirty? You ain't never go 149 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 1: to bed naked? What was your hair looking like? For 150 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: you started getting it done regularly? And you even started 151 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:35,480 Speaker 1: dressing sexy. So when you were Jane half away, Volta 152 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:39,959 Speaker 1: started her. Now I'm asking, I'm not making about her, 153 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:44,319 Speaker 1: but I want her to see. Could he have become 154 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:49,400 Speaker 1: bored because you stopped caring for yourself? I'm just asking. 155 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 1: I don't know that. I'm just giving you the three 156 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:56,199 Speaker 1: things to financial reason his physical, mental, medical problem? Or 157 00:09:56,360 --> 00:10:00,720 Speaker 1: is it you something you've done. Then after a while, 158 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:03,240 Speaker 1: I started feeling unattracted, so you're gonna take your little 159 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,199 Speaker 1: fast tail down here, And started having a fan with 160 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,959 Speaker 1: that man down at the job. And then, as you 161 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:12,720 Speaker 1: so eloquently put it, I started staying out and entertaining 162 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 1: this man at his house. Are you entertaining now? Oh? Well, 163 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 1: so what are you doing now? Are you thirty two? 164 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:23,959 Speaker 1: Now you're entertaining? What? What? What? Did he got a 165 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:27,079 Speaker 1: poll in the house? What? What? What's what's happening? What 166 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:30,920 Speaker 1: you what you're doing at his house? That's so damn entertained. 167 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,760 Speaker 1: See you didn't want to write it in your ladder, 168 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:38,319 Speaker 1: but you started having sex with this man, that's what 169 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:41,679 Speaker 1: you did. So that didn't work out for me, so 170 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:45,120 Speaker 1: I ended the fleet. My husband could feel that something 171 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:49,160 Speaker 1: wasn't right. So when I stopped coming in late, he changed. 172 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:52,760 Speaker 1: He was all over me because he missed you. See 173 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,920 Speaker 1: you were let the other man's house doing all entertaining. 174 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:58,439 Speaker 1: He missed you, so he had a chance to miss you. 175 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,599 Speaker 1: Maybe y'all need to have some date nights and and 176 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 1: create the miss you part of it. Then you need 177 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,079 Speaker 1: to come in here and do all this entertaining you 178 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 1: were doing across town. Hello, Hello, maybe you need to 179 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,400 Speaker 1: come out your comforts. So I don't know what it is. 180 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,720 Speaker 1: I can't tell you what it is, but it's one 181 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:19,120 Speaker 1: of them three things. It's either a financial problem he 182 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,360 Speaker 1: hasn't he got a physical problem, and he needs to 183 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:22,959 Speaker 1: look at some of the commercials. Get down there to 184 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:27,360 Speaker 1: see a damn doctor. Or it's you. What is you 185 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:30,880 Speaker 1: weighing over there while you entertaining? Ban all the monkey 186 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:35,080 Speaker 1: costumes to the house circus out of fit. We ain't 187 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 1: seen none of that, yo, your French nurse over that 188 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,640 Speaker 1: you got feather dust is whips high here? Shoot paddle 189 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:45,959 Speaker 1: leather boots? You got pennies with openings on them? What 190 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:52,040 Speaker 1: a us all? Listen, my hud. Then about seven months 191 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:55,880 Speaker 1: ago we fell into another dry spell. I can't take 192 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 1: this anymore. I'm only thirty two, and my husband's not 193 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:01,920 Speaker 1: helding his business in the bed. I'm screaming on the inside. 194 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:06,560 Speaker 1: What's a woman to do? Please help me. I don't 195 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,600 Speaker 1: know what y'all do when y'all scream on the inside. 196 00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:10,680 Speaker 1: I know what we do when we scream on the inside. 197 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:14,839 Speaker 1: What we started holland on? Now? So do we we 198 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:25,400 Speaker 1: started some holland somewhere? Okay, sure, yeah, gotta let them know. Okay, 199 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:30,319 Speaker 1: Well update them. Uh huh, that's a great bit of information. Yeah, glad, 200 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:34,920 Speaker 1: glad you're here. M Well, you're saying it could be 201 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,719 Speaker 1: some sort of metal medical or mental issue as well. 202 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:42,040 Speaker 1: I agree with that. I don't know. You have to 203 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,880 Speaker 1: clean us up with me. We're just conversing. We're not 204 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:47,959 Speaker 1: we're conversing because you think I said something about No, 205 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:54,240 Speaker 1: that's not it. I thought, excellent. We're just having because 206 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:59,560 Speaker 1: we have because we have time. We have time that's all. 207 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,160 Speaker 1: Because you have time, you can bring it up. And 208 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 1: this is my letter. I didn't say we can't go 209 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:09,240 Speaker 1: back call it, but I'm that's what is that? No? 210 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,480 Speaker 1: But seriously, there there is the problem here. We just 211 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:16,240 Speaker 1: don't know what it is. Oh, I know what it is? What? What? 212 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,040 Speaker 1: What do you think it is? No, I'm not. We 213 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:22,280 Speaker 1: can't talk about it. No, we can't. It's huh. I'll 214 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:25,000 Speaker 1: see right here. You want to blame the woman. See, 215 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 1: she didn't went over there and had their fast. She 216 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,520 Speaker 1: went through the man's phone, found nothing. She wouldn't have 217 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,920 Speaker 1: their fast. Now you want us to be cool with this? 218 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:37,520 Speaker 1: This half a wrong? Alright, Steve, we gotta get out 219 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:39,440 Speaker 1: of here. This is a good letter. You can email 220 00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:42,200 Speaker 1: us or Instagram. That's your thoughts on today's Strawberry letter 221 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:45,800 Speaker 1: at my girls, Shirley. All right, you're listening to the 222 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,320 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show.