WEBVTT - Is Uncle Larry Reachable and/or Teachable? 0:00:01.240 --> 0:00:03.880 Maybe that's Lisa and We're just two girls that want 0:00:03.880 --> 0:00:06.880 to have a conversation with you. Dear sixteen year old 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:11.840 Andrea hey gorsgeous, Dear younger Lauren. Each episode is stories 0:00:11.880 --> 0:00:15.480 from people I would deprive myself. Why myself obsessively? Because 0:00:15.520 --> 0:00:17.840 I was eating healthy? I couldn't understand that I had 0:00:17.880 --> 0:00:20.799 a problem with food. Losing my period scared me the most. 0:00:21.000 --> 0:00:24.080 My story starts when I was around seven. That's when 0:00:24.079 --> 0:00:27.200 I started to hate my body. Body image is like 0:00:27.240 --> 0:00:31.000 our inner picture of our outer self healthy behaviors. I 0:00:31.120 --> 0:00:33.080 had a much bigger role at all health than the 0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:36.239 actual number on the scales. Internal dialogue can be so 0:00:36.440 --> 0:00:39.800 powerful and often it's super negative and critical in a 0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:41.760 way that we wouldn't talk to other people that we 0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:44.280 care about. When you start to share your story, that 0:00:44.360 --> 0:00:46.519 gives other people the courage to share theirs. I know 0:00:46.640 --> 0:00:48.519 you would be proud now of how far you have 0:00:48.680 --> 0:00:52.519 come in your relationship to food, exercise, and to yourself. 0:00:52.680 --> 0:00:56.560 I felt freedom, I've gained relationships. I've found my true 0:00:56.560 --> 0:00:59.360 sense of self worth. There's one thing I need you 0:00:59.400 --> 0:01:05.039 to take away. You're going to be okay. Lisa and 0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:07.640 I are super excited to have Sam Private join us 0:01:07.640 --> 0:01:11.240 for today's episode. She is a dietitian that is creating 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:13.720 change in her own little bubble, but also in the 0:01:13.760 --> 0:01:16.760 Instagram world, because that's where I found you, Sam, and 0:01:16.800 --> 0:01:19.039 I'm so glad I did. I don't even know how 0:01:19.160 --> 0:01:21.240 or who reposted you, but I'm sure I saw one 0:01:21.240 --> 0:01:23.360 of your funny reels that you put up that are 0:01:23.520 --> 0:01:26.720 very attention getting, and I love that you use your 0:01:26.760 --> 0:01:30.600 creativity to bring awareness to something that's super important, and 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:33.720 it's diet culture and all the things that we have 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:36.600 that reigned upon us for years and years and years 0:01:36.600 --> 0:01:39.240 that I know you and Lisa both being dietitians in 0:01:39.280 --> 0:01:42.600 that world, it's probably a constant struggle. So talk with 0:01:42.680 --> 0:01:45.440 us about how diet culture has played a role in 0:01:45.560 --> 0:01:47.280 your career and then what you try to do for 0:01:47.400 --> 0:01:51.320 clients online like your Instagram world, but also professionally in 0:01:51.400 --> 0:01:53.840 your workspace. Well, thank you so much for having me. 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:56.600 And it's so awesome that social media can connect people 0:01:56.720 --> 0:01:59.560 from from all over but for me, you know, I 0:01:59.600 --> 0:02:02.680 wasn't all ways an anti diet dietitian, and I think 0:02:02.720 --> 0:02:05.440 a lot of dietitians can relate to that is that 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:09.360 we are classically trained in diet culture. We are trained 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:12.000 to use weight loss as our party trick of how 0:02:12.000 --> 0:02:14.720 we can be air quotes helpful for people that are 0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:17.240 not watching this and listening. And so I spent a 0:02:17.240 --> 0:02:20.280 lot of time counseling when I started as a dietitian, 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:23.200 counseling people in weight loss and weight management. And I 0:02:23.240 --> 0:02:26.120 truly thought that I was helping people. I honestly thought that. 0:02:26.160 --> 0:02:27.919 And I think that's why we go into this field 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:29.960 as a dietitian, as we want to help people, and 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:33.360 we're also seeking that answer of life, of happiness and 0:02:33.440 --> 0:02:35.280 health and all these things, when really there is no 0:02:35.360 --> 0:02:38.280 magic answer that's the answer. So I was doing you know, 0:02:38.360 --> 0:02:41.720 weight loss counseling and whatnot, and then I recognized that 0:02:41.760 --> 0:02:44.720 people would see short term success and then they would 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:46.440 go off on their merry way and they would come 0:02:46.480 --> 0:02:49.919 back a few months feeling distraught, you know, feeling guilty 0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:53.680 and shameful, reaching out to me and saying like I failed, Sammy, 0:02:53.760 --> 0:02:55.399 I need you to help me. I need I need 0:02:55.400 --> 0:02:57.080 to tune up, you know, I need to check in. 0:02:57.280 --> 0:02:59.000 And I would see that over and over and I said, 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:02.240 something's not right here, like this isn't helping anyone, and 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:05.520 it wasn't until I found Intuitive Eating, which i'm also 0:03:05.560 --> 0:03:08.920 a certified into a debating counselor trained under Evilent Triboli 0:03:08.960 --> 0:03:11.320 and at least Rash, the authors of the book, where 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:13.600 I was able to see that really, if we can 0:03:13.639 --> 0:03:17.040 help people make peace with food first, make peace with 0:03:17.080 --> 0:03:19.679 their body, then we can get to the part that 0:03:19.720 --> 0:03:22.880 dietitians think about of nutrition and things that genuinely improve 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:25.320 our health. But if everything that we do is so 0:03:25.480 --> 0:03:28.560 rooted in guilt and shame, it's really hard to start 0:03:28.600 --> 0:03:32.120 to make behavior changes for air quotes health if everything 0:03:32.160 --> 0:03:33.960 has a shame wrapped up with it. So, to go 0:03:34.000 --> 0:03:35.720 back to your question, I have not always been an 0:03:35.760 --> 0:03:38.280 intuitive eating dietitian. I have not always been an intuitive 0:03:38.280 --> 0:03:41.400 eater and an anti diet dietitian. It's really been in 0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:44.200 the last two years where I've really don've been and 0:03:44.200 --> 0:03:46.840 continue to learn. And we have a team now of 0:03:47.040 --> 0:03:50.400 multiple registered dietitians that are all certified and Intuitive Eating, 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:52.520 and we help people all over the world in our 0:03:52.560 --> 0:03:55.280 virtual private practice. Yeah, I think what you do is awesome, 0:03:55.320 --> 0:03:58.160 and I love the way you present your material online. 0:03:58.200 --> 0:04:02.800 It really is light and funny, but bringing the realness 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:05.200 to the conversation, but in a way that doesn't make 0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:07.640 people feel bad. And I think that that's really the 0:04:07.720 --> 0:04:11.160 critical component as to you know, why people are attracted 0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:13.240 to you, of course, and and your practice. Thank you 0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:16.000 so much for that. And I think that's where TikTok 0:04:16.080 --> 0:04:18.320 came into play, where you know, we're in the midst 0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:22.039 of this global pandemic and everyone's stuck at home and 0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:24.000 I saw this TikTok app and I was like, no, 0:04:24.440 --> 0:04:27.039 not another app, Like I can't do this. And then 0:04:27.120 --> 0:04:30.039 we started making videos and people were having, like you 0:04:30.080 --> 0:04:33.080 said that, the emotional reaction of like laughing and being like, 0:04:33.160 --> 0:04:35.280 oh my gosh, I do that, Like you know what 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:39.120 I mean, and it's relatable. I'm not anti human beings dieting. 0:04:39.200 --> 0:04:42.360 And I think that's where on Instagram things can get 0:04:42.360 --> 0:04:45.000 really sticky, is people can feel shame and guilt for 0:04:45.040 --> 0:04:48.400 their diet history. But we have to go through that 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:50.640 to be able to get to a place where we're 0:04:50.640 --> 0:04:53.080 saying I don't want to diet anymore. I don't want 0:04:53.120 --> 0:04:56.040 to do this anymore. This is harmful, And so there's 0:04:56.040 --> 0:04:58.599 no shame in being a chronic dieter that was me 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:01.160 for eight plus years, but being able to laugh about 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:03.320 it and say, Okay, how can I move forward? How 0:05:03.360 --> 0:05:05.559 can I change? Love that? And just so that people 0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:08.479 know where to find you. On Instagram, You're at fine 0:05:08.600 --> 0:05:10.880 dot food dot Freedom and is it the same on 0:05:10.920 --> 0:05:14.440 TikTok ye find food Freedom. No dots on TikTok okay, 0:05:14.480 --> 0:05:17.360 but on Instagram we got the dots, so yes, definitely. 0:05:17.640 --> 0:05:20.080 What we encourage for our listeners to do is to 0:05:20.200 --> 0:05:23.680 follow accounts such as yours so that you have those 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:27.880 positive reminders in your feed and maybe unfollowed stuff that 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:31.480 isn't necessarily healthy for you to see, because I feel 0:05:31.480 --> 0:05:33.360 like when your post pop up, or if Lisa puts 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:36.159 up a poster any other amazing people that I've started 0:05:36.200 --> 0:05:38.880 to follow, once I've become part of this anti diet 0:05:38.960 --> 0:05:43.040 culture because I know shame here chronic diet or all 0:05:43.200 --> 0:05:46.760 kinds of eating disorders from it. So I am right 0:05:46.800 --> 0:05:49.479 there with a lot of America. And one of the 0:05:49.480 --> 0:05:51.320 reasons why Lisa and I are here talking with you 0:05:51.440 --> 0:05:54.039 is we want to keep having these conversations, say that 0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:57.159 there's no shame, break the stigma around some of this stuff, 0:05:57.200 --> 0:06:00.240 and as we enter into the holiday season. I think 0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:03.560 that that is when diets start to rear their head, 0:06:03.880 --> 0:06:07.040 whatever it looks like, because you maybe have wellies a 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:09.440 little weird, probably not as many parties, but you've got 0:06:09.560 --> 0:06:12.039 different gatherings to go to where there might be this 0:06:12.120 --> 0:06:13.520 kind of food in this kind of food, So you 0:06:13.600 --> 0:06:16.560 better restrict for five days before you go eat your 0:06:16.600 --> 0:06:19.640 big family meal or juice, the you know, some sort 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:23.360 of clans to detox after. And then the new year 0:06:23.440 --> 0:06:26.039 approaches and it's like, okay, new year, knew me, and 0:06:26.080 --> 0:06:28.240 it just seems like the last few months of the year, 0:06:28.279 --> 0:06:29.960 and then as we enter a new year, it's a 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:32.040 vicious cycle. And I was a part of it. It 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:33.800 was almost like I could predict how it was going 0:06:33.839 --> 0:06:37.320 to be November, December, January, November December just binge like 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:41.159 crazy January clans and then end up binging again because 0:06:41.279 --> 0:06:44.279 my body was hungry. So talk with us about what 0:06:44.320 --> 0:06:47.000 insight do you have to offer to navigate through the 0:06:47.040 --> 0:06:49.960 holidays without doing what I just said that I did 0:06:50.000 --> 0:06:53.640 for years. Well, I think it's one thing to recognize 0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:56.760 is that's very conclusive with the evidence, we know that 0:06:56.800 --> 0:07:00.479 restriction is the number one indicator of binging. So a 0:07:00.520 --> 0:07:03.160 lot of times there's a lot of shame tied to binging, 0:07:03.200 --> 0:07:05.640 and people are saying, you know, when you're in that binge, 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:08.360 you say, I'm never going to do this again, like 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:10.880 this is it that creates that urgency to eat even 0:07:10.960 --> 0:07:14.120 more food because you truly believe that come Monday or 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:17.200 come that next day or after the holiday, that you're 0:07:17.280 --> 0:07:19.280 not going to allow yourself to eat that food, And 0:07:19.320 --> 0:07:22.320 that creates urgency to eat even more food, which then 0:07:22.400 --> 0:07:26.640 fuels that restriction. So binging occurs because of the restriction. 0:07:26.920 --> 0:07:29.160 I see it so often with my clients. And you know, 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:32.640 Thanksgiving is coming up, and that's one of the most 0:07:32.680 --> 0:07:36.000 common holidays where people will have again, I'm gonna use 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:39.280 air quotes again, like saving your calories for the big 0:07:39.320 --> 0:07:42.320 Thanksgiving meal, right, and thinking like, Okay, I'm gonna do 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:44.680 it right, I'm gonna not eat all day and then 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:47.480 I'll be really air quotes good becausing so many air 0:07:47.560 --> 0:07:51.560 quotes on a podcast. But that is that diet culture mentality. 0:07:51.600 --> 0:07:54.480 So being able to say, Okay, if I've ever restricted 0:07:54.480 --> 0:07:57.240 in the past, how did that end up for me? Right? 0:07:57.640 --> 0:08:00.160 Was I binging? And I like to normalize that for 0:08:00.240 --> 0:08:03.160 people of if you've restricted and that's led to a binge, 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:07.000 which chances are it has congratulations. You are a human 0:08:07.160 --> 0:08:11.120 being and your body works correctly, like that's something to celebrate, 0:08:11.160 --> 0:08:13.760 that's not something to feel bad about. And so once 0:08:13.800 --> 0:08:15.960 we can shift that mindset to, oh my god, my 0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:19.160 hunger is working correctly, like I binged because my blood 0:08:19.200 --> 0:08:21.840 sugar was low and because I was restricting and because 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:24.320 I was starving, then we can say, okay, we can 0:08:24.360 --> 0:08:29.640 remove the emotional unpleasantness from that physical unpleasantness that happens 0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:31.960 when we binge, because those are two separate things, and 0:08:31.960 --> 0:08:34.360 then we can say, what can I do differently next time? 0:08:34.600 --> 0:08:36.560 So when we go into let's say, let's go back 0:08:36.559 --> 0:08:40.600 to our Thanksgiving example, can we eat a breakfast, Can 0:08:40.640 --> 0:08:43.680 we eat a snack? Can we eat lunch? Can we 0:08:43.720 --> 0:08:47.240 eat another snack? And then go into our Thanksgiving dinner 0:08:47.480 --> 0:08:50.880 just as if it was any other meal, and recognizing 0:08:50.920 --> 0:08:54.720 that fueling our body will help keep that urgency to 0:08:54.840 --> 0:08:57.960 eat down because our blood sugars will be stable, we 0:08:58.000 --> 0:08:59.959 will have the food and we won't feel that restriction. 0:09:00.320 --> 0:09:02.080 And the one thing I just want to add, which 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:05.000 I think you'll agree with. But just how restriction played 0:09:05.040 --> 0:09:07.240 out in my life over the last ten years or 0:09:07.360 --> 0:09:10.040 during my disordered eating, is that it might not be 0:09:10.320 --> 0:09:14.360 total calories. It might be clean eating or only eating 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:18.720 gluten free for no medical reason or even personal finding reason, 0:09:18.880 --> 0:09:22.280 or dairy or sugar or whatever it is. I remember 0:09:22.320 --> 0:09:24.720 when I saw my therapist for the first time and 0:09:24.760 --> 0:09:27.679 I was explaining my binges and she said, well, are 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:30.640 you restricting, because restricting causes binges? And I said, no, 0:09:30.960 --> 0:09:33.880 I'm eating. I'm eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And I was, 0:09:34.280 --> 0:09:38.840 but I was excluding so much that it still resulted 0:09:38.920 --> 0:09:41.679 in a binge. So I think just to expand that 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:45.040 conversation as to you know, what being good looks like, 0:09:45.120 --> 0:09:48.240 maybe it's not just being keto up until Thanksgiving meal, 0:09:48.600 --> 0:09:52.600 really allowing flexibility and examining what restriction looks like on you. 0:09:52.679 --> 0:09:54.559 I love that. I love that that's a great point. 0:09:54.640 --> 0:09:56.480 And I know that, you know, when we use the 0:09:56.720 --> 0:10:00.200 terms being good right or being bad with food, big 0:10:00.200 --> 0:10:02.800 part of intuitive eating, one of the principles is removing 0:10:02.840 --> 0:10:06.200 the morality to food, and I think that's a you know, 0:10:06.360 --> 0:10:09.120 we find so often that our clients have this cognitive dissidence, 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:11.960 their logic and their belief systems are not matching up. 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:16.160 So asking yourself right now, Okay, if I eat X 0:10:16.320 --> 0:10:19.200 food whatever that food is, right, does that make me 0:10:19.280 --> 0:10:21.840 a bad human being? Does that change my character? Does 0:10:21.880 --> 0:10:25.160 that change my work worth? And most people say no, no, right, 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:28.000 that doesn't change my worth. But then if we say okay, 0:10:28.000 --> 0:10:31.360 eat that same food, do you feel guilt or shame 0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:34.200 for eating? And if the answer is yes, we know 0:10:34.280 --> 0:10:37.440 that guilt and shame specifically guilt is rooted in a 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:40.520 moral emotion. But we just said that we weren't bad 0:10:40.800 --> 0:10:42.959 like that doesn't change our worth. So okay, there's a 0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:46.120 yes over here, there's no over here. That's a cognitive distance. 0:10:46.120 --> 0:10:48.240 We need to dig into that and we need to 0:10:48.320 --> 0:10:51.520 release that morality with food, and that will also help 0:10:51.559 --> 0:10:55.480 with that binge restrict cycle as well. Something you said 0:10:55.520 --> 0:10:59.439 about eating breakfast and lunch and a snack and going 0:10:59.520 --> 0:11:02.880 into a holiday meal as if it's any other day, 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:05.480 I think it's huge. But also what I've loved about 0:11:05.600 --> 0:11:09.240 learning from people like you and Lisa and others that 0:11:09.320 --> 0:11:13.160 I follow is the reminders of, Hey, if you've struggled 0:11:13.240 --> 0:11:16.200 with any type of disordered eating, patterns, and you woke 0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:20.199 up today and you ate breakfast? High five, because I 0:11:20.200 --> 0:11:24.720 think so many times I definitely participated in intermittent fasting, 0:11:24.920 --> 0:11:28.920 and so many times I catch my brain being like, actually, 0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:31.920 should I eat breakfast right now? Because I ate dinner 0:11:31.960 --> 0:11:34.520 at eight o'clock last night and it's not even eight 0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:37.400 am yet and it hasn't been twelve hours. My brain 0:11:37.520 --> 0:11:39.440 still does that to me because it was such a 0:11:39.480 --> 0:11:41.720 pattern for a long time. And then I check in 0:11:41.800 --> 0:11:43.960 with myself and I say, okay, am I hungry right now? 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:45.920 Regardless of when I ate dinner? Who cares throw that 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:47.960 out the window? Am I hungry right now? If I am, 0:11:48.040 --> 0:11:50.120 I eat. If I'm not, I wait a little bit. 0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:53.319 And that's me working through in my own way. Everyone 0:11:53.360 --> 0:11:56.079 has their own journey, their own stories, their own old 0:11:56.120 --> 0:11:58.040 habits that they had that are hard to break. But 0:11:58.120 --> 0:12:01.840 even though I'm haven't in or mittenfested in a very 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:05.080 long time, well for me, I you know, a year 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:08.240 or more, I still have those thoughts in my head. 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:11.440 We're not acting like waking up and eating breakfast and 0:12:11.480 --> 0:12:14.560 having luncheon snacks on Thanksgiving Day is easy, and you 0:12:14.640 --> 0:12:17.360 will still have mental thoughts. No matter. I don't know 0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:19.400 the two of you. You've been at this a lot 0:12:19.440 --> 0:12:22.440 longer than me. Do you still have to tell your brain? 0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:24.960 Oh yeah, I don't think that way anymore so for 0:12:25.040 --> 0:12:28.200 me personally at this point. No, but I will say 0:12:28.240 --> 0:12:31.400 absolutely it takes time. It takes years. Right, So we 0:12:31.480 --> 0:12:34.880 create neuropathways in our brain and these negative thought patterns 0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:37.400 in these loops, which I think Jennifer Rowlands have talked 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:39.760 about one of your previous episodes, and that is so 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:42.199 important to be able to recognize that and know that 0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:45.200 that is not a failure. That is just diet culture 0:12:45.280 --> 0:12:48.040 trying to dig its nails right back in right and 0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:51.280 and present itself. So, just like you said, Amy, being 0:12:51.320 --> 0:12:54.920 able to recognize that, whether it's just recognizing it in 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:57.400 your head, writing it down on paper, and then being 0:12:57.440 --> 0:13:01.120 able to redirect that and say, no, I need food 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:04.640 to fuel my body. I will function better with this meal. 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:07.600 I will be a better human being with this meal 0:13:07.679 --> 0:13:10.280 or whatever it is. Being able to catch that is 0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:13.360 so important, and that's that's really what the work is. 0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:16.959 It's it's consistent, consistent work, and it's different I think 0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:19.680 for everybody based on their own story of how long 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:22.679 that may continue, but I have so much hope that 0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:24.200 you're gonna get to a point one day where you're like, 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:26.360 I just eat and I don't have to think about it. 0:13:26.400 --> 0:13:28.920 I'll say though, that, you know, with so much time 0:13:28.960 --> 0:13:31.320 I spend on social media as my job, and I'm 0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:34.800 exposed to so much, once in a while, I'll get 0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:38.200 something that is not me listening to my body. And 0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:41.319 while I'm not fused to it, I'm not like, oh, 0:13:41.440 --> 0:13:44.000 this person is doing this, I should try this. It's 0:13:44.000 --> 0:13:46.760 a little ding that I'm no longer listening to my 0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:49.840 body because it's rooted in fear and we feel fear. 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:52.480 So i'd say, once in a while, i'll notice something 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:54.760 and that's why I call it noise, because it's anything 0:13:54.760 --> 0:13:58.320 that's pulling me out of my body. And I'll say, okay, noise, 0:13:58.400 --> 0:14:00.640 you know, thank you for trying to keep me safe, 0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:03.400 but I'm good here. And I think that's kind of 0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:07.000 two approaches. It's like, get angry at diet culture, but 0:14:07.200 --> 0:14:11.400 get kind to yourself for trying to protect you. And 0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:14.960 it's wrongly perceiving of danger. So I feel like that's 0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:16.640 kind of how it shows up for me. Once in 0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:20.120 a while, I'll flag it, I'll dig it. It's very infrequently, 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:22.600 but I will notice it, and I'll come home, and 0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:25.920 I'm constantly coming home to myself and my trust, and 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:28.280 those little moments even where I come home, are like 0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:30.800 little pats on the back that bring me even closer 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:32.840 to trusting my body because it's like, hey, we just 0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:35.720 worked together, like we just said like you know, see you, 0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:38.520 no thank you. And so I don't think here if 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:42.080 anyone's a failure, if they get a moment of oh, well, 0:14:42.120 --> 0:14:43.680 I just had dinner at eight o'clock. You know your 0:14:43.720 --> 0:14:46.760 example of intermittent fasting, it hasn't been that long. I 0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:50.360 think we're always works in progress, and new life changes 0:14:50.400 --> 0:14:53.720 are going to bring up old thoughts or situations like 0:14:53.760 --> 0:14:55.920 if Thanksgiving is a is a scary one for you, 0:14:56.160 --> 0:14:58.360 that might bring it all back, or if you know, 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:01.440 we we're talking to women in people of all life phases. 0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:04.120 Going through big life changes means your body is going 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:06.640 to change that might bring up stuff. So using those 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:08.920 tools is really how I how I see it. Yeah, 0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:12.320 I love that. And Sam, since we're talking about the holidays, 0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:15.960 to what advice do you have for people in situations 0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:20.800 where they're around family that maybe triggering to them, Like 0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:22.880 I would have been someone that showed up at my 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:25.400 family dinners and if someone was in recovery before me, 0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:28.160 I would have been triggering them left and right. And honestly, 0:15:28.240 --> 0:15:30.600 I was a real buzz kill because I didn't want 0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:32.560 to eat anything that he had. I brought my own food. 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:35.720 I was real particular. My mom would have her candy dams, 0:15:35.800 --> 0:15:38.280 but I made my candy dams with splenda, so I 0:15:38.320 --> 0:15:40.760 was gonna eat my separate thing over here. You know, 0:15:40.880 --> 0:15:43.200 I'm just thinking back on silly stuff that I used 0:15:43.200 --> 0:15:44.960 to do, and I would have been better off eating 0:15:44.960 --> 0:15:47.960 the family meal. But people are really listening to this 0:15:48.040 --> 0:15:50.359 episode and wanting to put in the work for themselves. 0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:53.600 But maybe they show up and there's some stuff surrounding 0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:56.880 them or whatever vibe other family members are bringing into 0:15:56.880 --> 0:15:59.360 the picture. Like do you have any tools that people 0:15:59.400 --> 0:16:01.160 can kind of keep up in their back pocket to 0:16:01.200 --> 0:16:04.680 help them navigate the holidays. That's a wonderful question, and 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:07.400 I think that's something we've already started with all our 0:16:07.440 --> 0:16:10.120 team with our clients, because we know this is coming, right, 0:16:10.160 --> 0:16:13.000 we can anticipate these triggers, and I think there's there's 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:15.000 different ways that we can do this but really role 0:16:15.080 --> 0:16:19.080 playing the situation out before it happens, so we can 0:16:19.200 --> 0:16:22.360 recognize it and we can actually walk through that situation 0:16:22.560 --> 0:16:25.200 together with our client and they can actually start to 0:16:25.240 --> 0:16:28.120 experience some of the anxiety or some of the discomfort 0:16:28.280 --> 0:16:30.200 in that setting, which can be really helpful to walk 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:33.960 through it. So, for example, if Uncle Larry makes a 0:16:34.000 --> 0:16:37.360 fat phobic comment right, being able to say it, like 0:16:37.400 --> 0:16:40.560 write that down, what's like the worst scenario that could happen, 0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:42.880 and then what are the emotions that we feel to 0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:45.680 that common and how do we choose to respond? And 0:16:45.720 --> 0:16:47.920 I think it might change depending on the day, but 0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:50.800 I think it's being able to recognize do I have 0:16:51.040 --> 0:16:56.160 the mental capacity for this conversation? Is Uncle Larry reachable 0:16:56.240 --> 0:16:59.480 and teachable and wanting to hear about diet culture or 0:16:59.560 --> 0:17:01.600 is it just not even worth it to sit and 0:17:01.680 --> 0:17:05.200 just setting that mental boundary to say I'm not participating 0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:09.160 in diet culture talk, so either change the subject and 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:12.520 or leave the room and just get out because you 0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:14.760 know that that's going to be better for you. But 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:16.720 then I think that also comes down to let's say, 0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:21.320 Aunt Cheryl maybe is presenting some signs of disordered eating, 0:17:21.359 --> 0:17:23.720 maybe some of the things you were explaining any of 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:26.880 like making the splendid gams or or bringing her own 0:17:26.920 --> 0:17:29.560 food or I think now people that have walked through 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:32.400 this journey a little bit more can have some empathy 0:17:32.520 --> 0:17:35.560 for those family members, knowing that they are most likely 0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:40.080 rooted in disordered eating. Because we know that women ages 0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:45.200 twenty to forty five of them display disordered eating tendencies 0:17:45.280 --> 0:17:48.600 and an additional ten percent has clinically diagnosed eating disorder, 0:17:48.800 --> 0:17:52.240 So sevent of women are most likely walking around with 0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:55.040 some form of disordered eating, which is insane. And that's 0:17:55.040 --> 0:17:57.000 not even counting the numbers of people that are not, 0:17:57.200 --> 0:18:00.600 you know, misdiagnosed or not diagnosed. So chances are we 0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:03.240 can recognize that and maybe see it through a different 0:18:03.320 --> 0:18:05.960 lens this year, where maybe that would have been triggering before, 0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:09.080 but now we can almost have empathy and again create 0:18:09.080 --> 0:18:11.320 those boundaries where they're needed to be created. Where is 0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:13.199 it worth it to say something to aunt Cheryl and 0:18:13.200 --> 0:18:15.440 try to open up and and help her, which might 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:18.359 be healing for you personally, or again, is it better 0:18:18.400 --> 0:18:21.280 to change the subject, get out of the room and 0:18:21.320 --> 0:18:25.119 really just making sure we're keeping ourselves safe, because boundaries 0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:27.879 are meant to keep you safe, not those around you, 0:18:28.119 --> 0:18:30.399 and that is what is most important this holiday season. 0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:32.960 And just to reiterate something that you said that I 0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:36.560 think is really important, especially if you're just starting to 0:18:36.720 --> 0:18:40.560 unravel diet culture and you're really passionate about it, which 0:18:40.600 --> 0:18:42.800 is what happens in the beginning. It sounds like you 0:18:42.840 --> 0:18:45.359 agree to me, But when you said, is Uncle Larry 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:49.080 reachable and teachable? Like that speaks volumes to me because 0:18:49.080 --> 0:18:52.120 I think sometimes we start the fight to prove how 0:18:52.240 --> 0:18:55.840 right we are with people that are unreachable and unteachable, 0:18:56.000 --> 0:18:59.960 and it leaves us feeling really depleted and alone, especially 0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:02.520 when it comes to the holidays and family. I think 0:19:02.520 --> 0:19:06.879 that people might associate not speaking back Uncle Larry as complicit, 0:19:07.000 --> 0:19:09.679 but that boundary is to protect you kind of like 0:19:09.760 --> 0:19:12.600 not today satan. You know, get through the day. You 0:19:12.680 --> 0:19:15.560 have enough on your plate dealing with the triggers of 0:19:15.600 --> 0:19:17.919 the holiday that you don't need to also go to 0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:22.399 war necessarily. So evaluate who you are, what the situation is, 0:19:22.480 --> 0:19:25.200 who your Uncle Larry is. Is there a conversation that's 0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:27.280 going to be healthy for you or not? So I 0:19:27.359 --> 0:19:29.440 just thought that was really important. I wanted to now that. 0:19:29.480 --> 0:19:32.200 Thank you, and I think that's something I've learned personally. 0:19:32.240 --> 0:19:35.120 And Lisa, you can probably attest this or even you too, Amy, 0:19:35.160 --> 0:19:37.080 even though you're not a dietitian, like you said, when 0:19:37.080 --> 0:19:38.960 you're passionate about this, you want to talk about it, 0:19:39.000 --> 0:19:40.960 you want to shout out from the rooftops, want everyone 0:19:41.000 --> 0:19:42.919