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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEVARVIFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle love and hold on. Type

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Speaker 2: of guide it for you? Here? It is Strawberry letter, all.

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Speaker 1: Right, nephew, thank you. A subject his focus is on

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Speaker 1: other women. Dear Stephen Shirley, My husband shares far too

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Speaker 1: many of his thoughts with me, and it's messing with

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Speaker 1: my self esteem. He has a bad habit of commenting

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Speaker 1: on women's looks when we're out, and he uses the

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Speaker 1: wrong words when he describes females in general. For example,

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Speaker 1: his boss is getting remarried and he said that the

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Speaker 1: future wife. He said that the future wife has a

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Speaker 1: nice tight booty and thighs. I asked why he was

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Speaker 1: looking at her behind and why did he think it

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Speaker 1: was it's cool to mention it to me? He said,

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Speaker 1: as a man, there are certain things men notice, and

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Speaker 1: as my wife. He should be able to tell me anything.

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Speaker 1: I asked if he wanted me to do squats to

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Speaker 1: firm up my booty, and he said that I take

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Speaker 1: things the wrong way.

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Speaker 2: He's so clueless.

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Speaker 1: Why wouldn't I get offended by him saying nice things

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Speaker 1: about another woman. He'll say that a waitress has a

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Speaker 1: pretty smile, or a woman passing by his nice hair,

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Speaker 1: and then will debate over whether it's a weed or

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Speaker 1: her natural hair. It's clear that he loves women without weed.

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Speaker 1: But I've been wearing wigs and so in since he

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Speaker 1: met me, so I feel some type of way when

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Speaker 1: he discusses the other women's hair. He just said that

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Speaker 1: from now on he will keep his mouth closed while

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Speaker 1: we're out. When he tried that we had nothing to

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Speaker 1: talk about, I had no idea that we discussed other

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Speaker 1: women and nonsense so much. It makes me sad that

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Speaker 1: my husband admires other women. He tries to assure me

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Speaker 1: that he's happy and that he loves everything about me,

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Speaker 1: but I can't help but think he wants an upgraded wife.

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Speaker 1: I would never tell him what I think about another man.

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Speaker 1: He couldn't take it if I did it to him.

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Speaker 1: Why doesn't he compliment me? Is our marriage in trouble?

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Speaker 1: These are all questions that you need to really ask him.

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Speaker 1: Why doesn't he compliment you? That is odd, isn't it.

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Speaker 1: He's talking about all these other women, but he doesn't

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Speaker 1: compliment his own wife. And you know what, you're right

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Speaker 1: about one thing. He wouldn't be able to take it

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Speaker 1: if you did that to him. His ego would be crushed.

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Speaker 1: But he says he should be able to tell his

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Speaker 1: wife anything. I mean, do you know how many divorces

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Speaker 1: and breakups there would be if couples told their partners

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Speaker 1: anything and everything? Like he said, why do you think

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Speaker 1: we can't read each other's minds? Because they don't need

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Speaker 1: to know what we're really thinking all the time. Your

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Speaker 1: husband doesn't need to know what you're thinking all the time,

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Speaker 1: and he doesn't need to know what you're thinking all

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Speaker 1: the time. I'm not saying, of course, don't be truthful.

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying, as his wife, you already know not

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Speaker 1: to volun to hear your opinion. If a fine man walks

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Speaker 1: in the room, but your husband obviously doesn't get that rule,

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Speaker 1: you need to talk to him and let him know

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Speaker 1: how this, you know, makes you feel all these shenanigans

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Speaker 1: he's pulling. He should want you to be happy, not hurt,

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Speaker 1: but instead he's doing stupid stuff right in your face.

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Speaker 1: He's not out with his boys doing this. But please,

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Speaker 1: don't you be stupid too. All right, and let this

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Speaker 1: get out of control and all of that. You can

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Speaker 1: nip this in the bud, just letting him know you

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Speaker 1: know what the real issue is here, how you really feel.

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Speaker 1: Don't allow him to make you second guess yourself or

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Speaker 1: to make you feel insecure. This is the time, you know,

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Speaker 1: to love yourself even more. I mean, he's crazy just

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Speaker 1: because he doesn't know how to shut up when he

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Speaker 1: sees other attractive women. Really, Steve, I'm frustrated by this letter.

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Speaker 3: Go ahead, yeah see this is making you mad because

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Speaker 3: yeah see, well surely because of the type of person

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Speaker 3: you are, you have such a level of decency. You

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Speaker 3: not gonna say what I'm going to say, but just

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Speaker 3: what you're thinking. But you don't have though. You don't

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Speaker 3: want to talk like this. The subject is his focus

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Speaker 3: is on other women. My husband shares too many of

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Speaker 3: his thoughts with me, and it's messing with my self esteem.

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Speaker 2: He has a bad habit.

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Speaker 3: Of commenting on women's looks when we're out, and he

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Speaker 3: uses the wrong words when he describes the females. For example,

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Speaker 3: his boss is getting me married, and he said that

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Speaker 3: a future wife got a.

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Speaker 2: Nice tight booty and thighs.

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Speaker 3: I asked him why he was looking at her and

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Speaker 3: why he thought it was cool to mention it to me.

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Speaker 3: He said, as a man, there's certain things that men notice,

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Speaker 3: and as my wife.

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Speaker 2: He should be able to tell me anything.

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Speaker 3: I needed to read that passage so I can sum

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Speaker 3: this letter up quickly. Quickly, we really can end the

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Speaker 3: strawberry letter. I only had one question to this lady.

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Speaker 3: When you all were dating, you didn't know that he

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Speaker 3: was stupid because he didn't start this. He could have,

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Speaker 3: but there had to be signs that he was stupid.

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Speaker 3: Everybody that's married, whose marriage has ended or lasted for

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Speaker 3: a certain amount of time, or anything else, will all

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Speaker 3: be able to tell you that they saw signs.

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Speaker 2: Of it in the beginning, but they ignored it.

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Speaker 3: Everybody, everybody, everybody has married a red flag.

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Speaker 2: That may not be a big flag. It might be

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Speaker 2: a little red sticker with a tooth in it.

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Speaker 3: Some of y'all didn't married them red flag that's outside

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Speaker 3: the courthouse. You some of y'all haven't married. The flag

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Speaker 3: where the soldiers got to come and raise it up

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Speaker 3: in salute five shots.

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Speaker 2: That's how big a flag you done married. But we

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Speaker 2: all see.

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Speaker 3: Them, so I think you saw some of this. But

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Speaker 3: now when we come back, I'm going to have to

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Speaker 3: tell you what this means because I know exactly why

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Speaker 3: he's saying these things.

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Speaker 2: Why because men are just not that deep.

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Speaker 1: All right, hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of

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Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry letter subject. His focus is on other women.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 4: and hard work to get in the door then make

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Speaker 4: that house a home.

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Speaker 2: Now, all that effort has.

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Speaker 4: Built something hugely valuable. Equity is the portion of your

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Speaker 4: home you truly own that can be tapped to fund

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Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject is his focus is on other women.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she's married to this guy who has no problem

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Speaker 3: commenting on women's looks when he sees, and he does

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Speaker 3: it often. Now, the lady says, that is messing with

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Speaker 3: myself esteem. But I want to help you out with something.

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Speaker 3: Your husband really is not a bright man, because most

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Speaker 3: men listening to this show will tell you that ain't

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Speaker 3: a smart movie.

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Speaker 2: Why would you do that? I did it in my

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Speaker 2: first marriage. One time. I was taking my ex wife

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Speaker 2: to work. Huh.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I was taking my ex wife to work one day.

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Speaker 3: She was in the passenger seat and her mother was

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Speaker 3: in the backseat. I was dropping both of them off

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Speaker 3: the work. A girl, this chick was so fine, was

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Speaker 3: crossing the street in the crosswalk. Now I'm twenty five

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Speaker 3: years old, just got married. I might I might have

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Speaker 3: still been twenty four. Yeah, I had the twins at

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Speaker 3: twenty five, so the tins weren't born here. So I

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Speaker 3: was twenty four. This fine chick was walking and I

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Speaker 3: in my I said, I know, man, why she walking

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Speaker 3: like that? Why her dress so tight?

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Speaker 1: Why?

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Speaker 2: And brother? The rest of that ride.

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Speaker 3: To work with her and her mama in that car

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Speaker 3: was a lesson on stupidity. They talked about me man

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Speaker 3: like I wasn't even in the car, and I went, wow, man,

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Speaker 3: So I dropped my mother in law off first.

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Speaker 2: The conversation heightened. What is why would you say something that?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 2: So you looking at her?

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Speaker 1: So?

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Speaker 2: Why are you looking at her? Worried about why she walked? Now?

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Speaker 3: I was just trying to make conversations. Oh that's the conversation.

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Speaker 3: I can't even tell you what all it was. It

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Speaker 3: happened a long time. She get to work, so I

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Speaker 3: understood after that that was the last time, the last

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Speaker 3: time I ever told anybody anything I thought about another woman.

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Speaker 2: I ain't saying.

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Speaker 3: And I have thoughts all the time, because like women

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Speaker 3: have thoughts all the time.

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Speaker 2: But dick, you ain't supposed to say.

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Speaker 3: It, all right, So now let me explain something to

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Speaker 3: uh didn't He was talking about how tight the warm

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Speaker 3: the boss's new wife had a tight booty and big

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Speaker 3: diy and everything. So she asked a husband, do you

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Speaker 3: want me to start doing squats? To firm up my booty.

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Speaker 2: He said, I take things the wrong way.

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Speaker 3: And you know and and and why, And you shouldn't

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Speaker 3: be offended by he's saying nice things about other women.

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Speaker 2: Put an asset. He shouldn't be saying nothing about these

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Speaker 2: other women.

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Speaker 3: Now he'll say that a waitress got a pretty smile,

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Speaker 3: or a woman by has nice here to one, I

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Speaker 3: want you to pay attention.

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Speaker 2: He'll say that a waitress has pretty.

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Speaker 3: Smile, and a woman passing by his nice hair, and

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Speaker 3: we'll debate over whether it's a weave or her natural hair.

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Speaker 2: And it's clear that he loves women without weave.

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Speaker 3: But I've been wearing wigs and so in since we met,

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Speaker 3: so I feel some kind of weight. When he discusses

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Speaker 3: other women's hair, he's dropping hints.

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Speaker 2: Let me explain to the teacher, because men ain't that deep.

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Speaker 3: When he brings up these comparisons, he know you got

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Speaker 3: a sew in because he can't run his hands through

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Speaker 3: his hair. He know you got clip ends and wigs

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Speaker 3: because he know if he run his fingers through your hair,

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Speaker 3: he gonna push it on the.

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Speaker 2: Freet He knows it.

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Speaker 3: So now he brings up other women's have to drop

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Speaker 3: hints as to what he likes. The reason he brought

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Speaker 3: up that big booty in tight thighs of his boss's

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Speaker 3: future wife is because.

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Speaker 2: That's what he likes.

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Speaker 3: So when you ask, do you want me to do

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Speaker 3: most squats, yes, that's exactly what he wanted. A man

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Speaker 3: ain't gonna keep doing this. And I'm gonna tell you

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Speaker 3: the other reason he's doing it too. He said, from

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Speaker 3: now here, keep his mouth shut while we're out. He

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Speaker 3: tried to do that, and then we didn't have nothing

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Speaker 3: to talk about. So now you've found out that that's all.

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Speaker 3: Y'all's conversation has been about that the whole time, because

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Speaker 3: now you all going out and you have nothing to say.

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Speaker 2: And then you say.

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Speaker 3: It makes me sad that my husband admires other women.

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Speaker 3: And he tries to sure me he's happy, love everything

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Speaker 3: about you, But I can't think he wants an a

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Speaker 3: graded white. He wants you to do something different, because

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Speaker 3: that's why he's dropping all these hints. But I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: tell you something about your husband that you may not

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Speaker 3: have considered.

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Speaker 2: Your husband is extremely inconsiderable.

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Speaker 3: Extremely you're married to an inconsiderate man.

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Speaker 2: Because you said it best if you did the.

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Speaker 3: Same thing to him. Oh my god, he couldn't take it.

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Speaker 3: And no he can't because the male ego. The male

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Speaker 3: ego bruises easy. Now you gotta be careful, lady, because

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Speaker 3: once you bruise the male ego.

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Speaker 2: It's hard to come back.

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Speaker 3: Because me and men hold that difference. You know. It's like,

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Speaker 3: let me just tell you some stuff you can't never

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Speaker 3: say to a man.

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Speaker 2: And get it back.

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Speaker 1: Okay, let's hear this.

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Speaker 3: That's the best you can do. Here's here's another one

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Speaker 3: that you can't get back. I thought you were stronger

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Speaker 3: than that. M here's the one you can't really get back.

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Speaker 3: Has anybody ever told you that you're small?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Okay?

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Speaker 1: You can comment on today's Strawberry Letter because getting none

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Speaker 1: of that back. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast.

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Speaker 2: Is My Marriage in Trouble? Yes it is? Yeah.

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Speaker 1: On the free iHeartRadio app, you're listening to the Steve

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Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show.