Speaker 1: At cary Lone. She's a queen of the talking Hey
Speaker 1: a song. You know, she's getting really not afraid to
Speaker 1: feel taxis so just let it flow.
Speaker 2: No one can do we qud cary Lone is sounding calne.
Speaker 3: I'm pretty excited about this interview with Michael Hey, who
Speaker 3: is the head of Gulf Goook below bull communications with okay.
Speaker 3: Cupid like one of the largest dating apps in the world,
Speaker 3: and y'all's app is the only one that like faces
Speaker 3: your matches based off like tons of questions that are asked.
Speaker 2: You like, do a big survey ahead of time? Is
Speaker 2: that right?
Speaker 4: I have?
Speaker 3: I've always been obsessed with love in dating and I'm
Speaker 3: so far out of the loop now because I've been
Speaker 3: married forever, but like I cannot wait to hear about
Speaker 3: what is happening there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so we were the only dating app that matches
Speaker 4: you on what matters through in app questions and there's thousands.
Speaker 4: They've also been answered more than five hundred million times
Speaker 4: last year alone.
Speaker 2: Wait, okay, so break that down.
Speaker 4: So when you download a cub it, you have to
Speaker 4: answer at least fifteen of our in app questions.
Speaker 2: And to answer that.
Speaker 3: Okay, so tell me what those questions are, Like, what
Speaker 3: are those kind of questions that you're asking?
Speaker 2: How are we setting this stage here?
Speaker 4: Yeah, so the beginning questions are pretty standard. Are you,
Speaker 4: how religious are you? What are you looking for in
Speaker 4: a partner? Sort of those like really basic questions that
Speaker 4: you would expect, how long you want your next relationship
Speaker 4: to last, choose a better romantic activity, things like that.
Speaker 4: But most people go on to answer dozens and dozens more.
Speaker 4: So that's how we connect people. And the more questions
Speaker 4: you answer, the more com hatible your matches are going
Speaker 4: to be. Because whenever we show you another user on Okaycupid,
Speaker 4: you're actually going to see a match percentage with them,
Speaker 4: and if you click that match percentage, which is like
Speaker 4: my favorite part of the app, you get to see
Speaker 4: where you agree and disagree. Because there are certain things
Speaker 4: that aren't really that important, like I love coffee and
Speaker 4: horror movies, my boyfriend does not. We're going on nine years.
Speaker 4: It's pretty much okay. However, there are deal breakers, especially
Speaker 4: when it comes to politics and some of the bigger
Speaker 4: issues face we're facing today, like climate change, on Black
Speaker 4: Lives Matter, and marriage equality. Certain deal breakers for people,
Speaker 4: So you get to see what you agree on and
Speaker 4: what you disagree on. You also get to rank how
Speaker 4: important a question is to you.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, this.
Speaker 4: Is another like layer of it that's kind.
Speaker 3: Of awesome because they're just saving yourself the trouble. I
Speaker 3: feel like this is where dating app would be so helpful,
Speaker 3: Like if I was like right before dating apps hit,
Speaker 3: but I feel like dating apps would be so help
Speaker 3: because now it's not like embarrassing to be on a
Speaker 3: dating app.
Speaker 2: It's kind of like the way to date. And now
Speaker 2: it's like.
Speaker 3: So effective because you can go ahead and just see
Speaker 3: the big points that you know are going to be
Speaker 3: deal breakers for you. And instead of like going on
Speaker 3: three days and trying to like slowly get to know
Speaker 3: someone and like tell your story and what matters to you,
Speaker 3: you can just see, Okay, let's just skip to the
Speaker 3: heart of the matter here. Do we even have anything
Speaker 3: in common in the first place, And if we have
Speaker 3: these massive things that are deal breakers, let's not even
Speaker 3: like start this process one hundred percent.
Speaker 4: And honestly, like some of those questions are a little
Speaker 4: bit divisive and honestly sometimes boring, So we want to
Speaker 4: make sure that before you even get to drinks or
Speaker 4: coffee or a walk in the park. Whenever y'all are doing.
Speaker 4: We give you enough information about the person that you
Speaker 4: can make a decision ahead of time whether you want
Speaker 4: to meet with them or not. So we kind of
Speaker 4: like strip that part of the date away for you. Yeah,
Speaker 4: they're also busy, like we don't want to waste our time.
Speaker 3: I want to go through some of these questions. You
Speaker 3: sent me this on some of the questions and maybe
Speaker 3: you know them that are the most important questions for
Speaker 3: like the people dating right now, and they were so great.
Speaker 3: So here's some of these questions that people are asking
Speaker 3: on the dating app, which I think is so cool
Speaker 3: and ten billion responses to okay cupids in app.
Speaker 2: So people are all about y'all. Are y'all the biggest
Speaker 2: dating up out there?
Speaker 4: We are not, but we're one of the ogs. I mean,
Speaker 4: we've been around for almost twenty years at this.
Speaker 2: Okay, So y'all got something working. Okay.
Speaker 3: So here's the questions in twenty two that were the
Speaker 3: most answered new questions.
Speaker 2: Okay, So who comes up with these questions? Do you
Speaker 2: come up with these questions?
Speaker 4: Yours truly? So I am sitting at my desks, pretending
Speaker 4: to work but really just having fun adding in new questions. Basically,
Speaker 4: if I'm talking about something with my friends or my
Speaker 4: coworkers or I don't know whomver, it's probably something daters
Speaker 4: want to talk about. So that's what really inspires our questions.
Speaker 4: We want them to be conver station starters, we want
Speaker 4: them to be deal breakers. We want we use them
Speaker 4: actually to make the experience like so much better. So
Speaker 4: it's real people in their twenties thirties who are like
Speaker 4: asking all these questions or adding all these questions to
Speaker 4: the app, which is really fun.
Speaker 2: But okay, Michael, Like, do you realize the impact you're
Speaker 2: having on people like you coming up with these questions
Speaker 2: that ten billion people are answering or I don't know
Speaker 2: how many the number is whatever, Like so many people
Speaker 2: on the app are answering these questions, Like you are
Speaker 2: helping to shape so many relationships, and you're putting such
Speaker 2: thoughtful questions out into the app, which is awesome, Like,
Speaker 2: I this is so cool. Like I hope you know
Speaker 2: how influential you are. Okay, so the questions are are
Speaker 2: you sensitive? Love that? Like?
Speaker 3: These are the top questions answered on that are you sentimental.
Speaker 3: So people are wanting to be sensitive and sentimental like
Speaker 3: they're wanting. They don't want just like some hot stud
Speaker 3: or beautiful woman.
Speaker 2: They want their people are after the heart of the
Speaker 2: matter here.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, and again I mean there obviously has to be
Speaker 4: mutual physical attraction that's never really going to go away.
Speaker 4: But when I've been at the brand for almost four
Speaker 4: years at this point, and when I first joined in
Speaker 4: twenty nineteen, I looked at some of the most popular
Speaker 4: questions from that year, like what questions that year were
Speaker 4: people answering the most, and a lot of them were
Speaker 4: around if you like coffee dates, if you like cuddling,
Speaker 4: like really high level things. Then we got slammed with
Speaker 4: the global pandemic and everyone took a moment to take
Speaker 4: a step back, take a break from dating, learn more
Speaker 4: about themselves, and figure out like what's important to them,
Speaker 4: and we saw a huge shift in the most popular questions.
Speaker 4: So one of the things that I looked into at
Speaker 4: the beginning of this year in twenty twenty three was
Speaker 4: and this was around the fiftieth anniversary of Robi Wade,
Speaker 4: but I wanted to know what questions were women asking
Speaker 4: or answering the most this year, what's really top of
Speaker 4: mind for them from the past year. And those questions
Speaker 4: were not about coffee dates. They were should the government
Speaker 4: defund planned parenthood? Are you pro choice? Is mental health
Speaker 4: as important as physical health? They were answering questions about
Speaker 4: self love and global warming and you know, discussing mental
Speaker 4: health with a partner. So we've seen a big shift
Speaker 4: in dating behaviors over the years, and I think a
Speaker 4: shift in a in a really positive direction too.
Speaker 3: It's almost like this new generation of dating is so
Speaker 3: much more intentional, Like it's like they've seen like the
Speaker 3: sex drug rock and roll, getting drunk dating, hooking up,
Speaker 3: not really getting deep with all the information right off
Speaker 3: the back kind of play out, and it's.
Speaker 2: Like they're sort of like evolved beyond.
Speaker 3: It feels like, do you feel that like this new generation,
Speaker 3: like it's so much more than just that instant attraction.
Speaker 3: It's like, no, it is so much There are so
Speaker 3: many other things lay which obviously that all shakes out
Speaker 3: when you get into a relationship, but you realize all
Speaker 3: these other things at play. But it just feels like
Speaker 3: this new generation is a lot smarter to go ahead,
Speaker 3: and they know what they believe in a lot younger.
Speaker 2: It feels like maybe.
Speaker 4: You I think what people are looking for has changed,
Speaker 4: what they're prioritizing has changed, what they're talking about has changed.
Speaker 4: So in one thing we've seen, which I actually really love,
Speaker 4: is that discussions around mental health had become a huge
Speaker 4: turn on for daters. We're seeing that more than nine
Speaker 4: to ten daters on okay keep its say they're sensitive,
Speaker 4: and this is really paying off for people, especially men.
Speaker 4: So historically this was not something men were and probably
Speaker 4: straight men were really interested in talking about. But last year,
Speaker 4: men who said they are sensitive on okaykeep It received
Speaker 4: one hundred and seven percent more likes and eighty six
Speaker 4: percent more matches. They also had one hundred and thirteen
Speaker 4: percent more conversations than men who we're an admitting that
Speaker 4: they were sensitive at all. So this is something that historically,
Speaker 4: I would argue was seen as a weakness in men
Speaker 4: when we look at traditional gender roles. Now is one
Speaker 4: of the most attractive traits in men.
Speaker 2: Do you think people are players on okay keep it?
Speaker 2: Like once a guy figures out that his like percent
Speaker 2: and just go way up once he says he's sensitive
Speaker 2: and has all this like heartfelt stuff, but really he's
Speaker 2: just an asshole, like trying to like trick girls. I'm
Speaker 2: just kidding.
Speaker 4: No, we're we an't have good daters, I of course,
Speaker 4: like of absolutely. The good news is only you and
Speaker 4: I are looking at that data, so they can't see
Speaker 4: that on the app. Okay, okay, we have to keep
Speaker 4: that between us.
Speaker 2: Okay, well y'all listening. Don't tell anybody. Okay, this is
Speaker 2: just so fascinating. So how do people like to date?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 3: And it's also like talking about like cooking up? Are
Speaker 3: people like cooking up right away? And you're saying people
Speaker 3: like to do like walking dates, like people aren't spending
Speaker 3: the money. There's a lot more sober dating, like what
Speaker 3: is the climate of a date now? Like how do
Speaker 3: people go on a date? Like how do you take
Speaker 3: it from the dating app to the date?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 3: And how does it advance? Like how do can you
Speaker 3: date more than one person at a time? I know
Speaker 3: you're saying too like people are a lot more open
Speaker 3: with having like open ethically open relationships, Like what does
Speaker 3: that mean?
Speaker 2: The kind of tell me? Like what happens next?
Speaker 3: Like you get on this app, you match up, you
Speaker 3: have you can really determine what you have in common.
Speaker 2: But then like, how do you how does dating look?
Speaker 2: What's the what's the steps?
Speaker 4: There's so much to unpack there.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 4: Sorry, I'm going to go through like I'm just gonna
Speaker 4: like walk myself through the life stage. So first, when
Speaker 4: you're like on a dating app, you can probably assume
Speaker 4: at this point we're very data driven and Okaycupan, no surprise.
Speaker 4: We were actually founded by four math majors at Harvard,
Speaker 4: so we've always been very data driven. And one thing
Speaker 4: we started asking our dats recently was what is the
Speaker 4: best icebreaker? What do you want someone to open up
Speaker 4: with on a dating app? Because that's a question I
Speaker 4: get all the time, is like I don't want to
Speaker 4: say hey or hi. So if we look first at
Speaker 4: the first conversation you have on a dating app, we
Speaker 4: asked what the best icebreaker was, and we had about
Speaker 4: four and a half million to respond to this question already,
Speaker 4: so it's not a small sample size. Thirty percent said
Speaker 4: they really prefer when a data opens up with a
Speaker 4: simple introduction, So tell them a little bit more about yourself.
Speaker 4: You don't have to open with paragraphs and paragraphs of
Speaker 4: information and overwhelm them. But you have to put more
Speaker 4: effort into hay or high and just on that note
Speaker 4: and opening up with hey or hello or hi actually
Speaker 4: has like a seventy or eighty percent rate of being ignored.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I feel like that someone because even if,
Speaker 3: like on Instagram, if someone writes the message and it's
Speaker 3: like hey, it's like I have no desire whatever you
Speaker 3: want to talk about, not interested.
Speaker 4: It's nothing to feed off of another thirty percent, like
Speaker 4: when people ask the question twenty percent. Like when you
Speaker 4: open with a joke, I think this is so subjective
Speaker 4: because like what if you don't have the same humor,
Speaker 4: So like that one honestly makes me nervous, But it's
Speaker 4: the data. That's what the data shows, right, God.
Speaker 2: Opening with a joke on a dating app like what
Speaker 2: a joke goes wrong?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: So literally the dating you're dating on the app first,
Speaker 2: But you really have to put your full effort into
Speaker 2: dating because like right when dating apps took off, before
Speaker 2: I got out of the dating world, like it was
Speaker 2: still people are kind. I'm not in a dating app.
Speaker 3: I'm too cool for dating app all that stuff, But
Speaker 3: now that's not it. So it's like people give their
Speaker 3: full effort right away, Like, you need to take this
Speaker 3: app seriously. People take it seriously because this is how
Speaker 3: you date now, Like, really, it's totally work. Yeah, you
Speaker 3: really got to give it your best shot all the time.
Speaker 4: You absolutely and eight percent of people like when you
Speaker 4: mentioned something on their profile. But to what you just said, work,
Speaker 4: Like I people are a little bit shocked when I
Speaker 4: say this because I think they expect me to say
Speaker 4: online dating is super easy. You can do it in
Speaker 4: your sleep. That's not the case. It's I like to
Speaker 4: think of it as a part time job. What you
Speaker 4: put into apt like okaycup it or Hinge or Tinder,
Speaker 4: whatever your app of choice is, that's exactly what you're
Speaker 4: going to get out of it. If you were not engaged,
Speaker 4: if you are disinterested, you're going to attract people who
Speaker 4: are not taking datings seriously, who are not really feeling it.
Speaker 4: I also tell people, if you're not a mindset to date,
Speaker 4: take a break. Either just don't open your app, or
Speaker 4: write in your bio that you're taking a quick break,
Speaker 4: or delete the app altogether. You have to have to
Speaker 4: be in the mindset to start dating.
Speaker 3: Man, that's so interesting, and this just goes back to
Speaker 3: the law of attraction in general, and it just applies everywhere,
Speaker 3: even on a dating app, Like you have to you
Speaker 3: get back what you put in.
Speaker 2: If you are really looking to have a relationship and
Speaker 2: you really want to have someone that you align with
Speaker 2: and you really have core values that you know are
Speaker 2: important to you, like, you can go out there and
Speaker 2: find it on the app.
Speaker 3: If you work hard enough and like you like you know,
Speaker 3: and you find other people who are working hard to
Speaker 3: match because they really want to be with someone, You're
Speaker 3: gonna at least get good interactions. You know, You're going
Speaker 3: to at least meet with people that you can like,
Speaker 3: have a good conversation with, and then if you do
Speaker 3: that enough, you'll probably land on someone that you really
Speaker 3: dee with. You know, is okay keepid is it like
Speaker 3: cause I know, like Tinder or Hinde or something of
Speaker 3: like I don't know, grinder with like the hookup app
Speaker 3: or something like what are y'all known for? Because like
Speaker 3: some people are like, oh, you just get on a
Speaker 3: grinder if you want to like hook up?
Speaker 2: Like what if people say about okay, keupid? What is
Speaker 2: y'alls like? Vibe? Get on okay? Keep it? If you
Speaker 2: want to get.
Speaker 4: Married, So we definitely bring in a higher inten dator
Speaker 4: and our product is designed to do that. So you
Speaker 4: can't just download our app and upload a photo and
Speaker 4: throw in your name and start seeing people. We really
Speaker 4: make you put in work. You have to add multiple photos,
Speaker 4: you have to respond to multiple proms, you have to
Speaker 4: answer at least fifteen of our questions. We want to
Speaker 4: make sure that it takes you a bit of time
Speaker 4: to set up your profile, so that you're being more mindful,
Speaker 4: and that the people coming into the app usually are
Speaker 4: people who are going to take dating more seriously. They're
Speaker 4: not you know, whatever you want to do, whether that's
Speaker 4: like Saturday night or Saturday night for the rest of
Speaker 4: your life, that's fine with us. But we do want
Speaker 4: to bring in a dater that's a bit more mindful,
Speaker 4: that is taking dating and relationships a bit more seriously.
Speaker 4: So that's how our app is designed. It's definitely not
Speaker 4: the easiest to just like download and start dating.
Speaker 2: Okay, I love it.
Speaker 3: Okay, So let's go back to unpacking that giant, big
Speaker 3: ball question I asked you earlier.
Speaker 4: Oh yes, yeah, So one of the things you mentioned
Speaker 4: which I find so interesting and something we recently looked
Speaker 4: into is how much people are spending on a date.
Speaker 4: So we're seeing that the economy is definitely having an
Speaker 4: impact on how people are dating. They're definitely still dating,
Speaker 4: but about four and ten of our daters are saying
Speaker 4: globally that, you know, what's happening in the economy, they're
Speaker 4: definitely feeling it. And we're seeing that a majority of
Speaker 4: people actually want to spend less than fifty dollars on
Speaker 4: a first date, and women are fifty seven percent more
Speaker 4: likely to want to spend less than fifty dollars on
Speaker 4: a first date. I actually don't think this is a
Speaker 4: bad thing. I don't think this is people being cheap.
Speaker 4: I say this as an opportunity for you to be
Speaker 4: really creative. Dinner, drinks, shore, fun, movie dates like that's
Speaker 4: an inexpensive date. Wouldn't recommend that for a first date
Speaker 4: because there's not a lot of conversation that's happening.
Speaker 3: And a little awkward because then you should have to sit
Speaker 3: there in silence next to someone.
Speaker 2: It's like, do we kind of hold hands? Do we not?
Speaker 2: I don't know. You know, you need to have some
Speaker 2: interaction on the first few dates. I feel like you
Speaker 2: need to be moving.
Speaker 4: I actually really like going for a walk or something.
Speaker 4: It's less pressure.
Speaker 2: You don't have to get dress up, and you don't
Speaker 2: have to eat in front of someone like I feel
Speaker 2: like I remember like when I was dating, I always
Speaker 2: thould be so awkward eating in front of someone in
Speaker 2: the beginning. You know, like you don't want to have
Speaker 2: to be like because I really want need to cheeseburger
Speaker 2: with Rise and get a little messy with it. But
Speaker 2: like you're not going to do that on a first date, you.
Speaker 4: Know, no, you I mean, you can't have anything that's
Speaker 4: like too saucy. You can't have anything that's like going
Speaker 4: to get stuck in your teeth. There's like too many worlds.
Speaker 4: But I also, I'm like very into like a low
Speaker 4: pressure first date. So if you go on a walk,
Speaker 4: like I live in New York City, so I'm thinking
Speaker 4: Central Park right now, and you're not feeling it and
Speaker 4: you're like, eh, I'm ready for this to be over.
Speaker 4: You have the easiest out. You can just say, hey,
Speaker 4: I'm walking this way. It was great catching up, great
Speaker 4: meeting you, so great pressure.
Speaker 3: That is a wonderful first date because yeah, you're stretching
Speaker 3: your legs. You're kind of seeing how someone moves, like honestly,
Speaker 3: how someone physically moves and interacts with the world like
Speaker 3: you have. You kind of have to like vibe with that,
Speaker 3: you know. So there's so much so and then you
Speaker 3: can get out if you want. You need to have
Speaker 3: an escape plan for sure.
Speaker 4: Totally. I mean, and that like a walking date is
Speaker 4: something that's completely sober. And we're seeing that young dators
Speaker 4: are really causing an increase in so dating. In twenty twelve,
Speaker 4: so about ten years ago, eighty four percent of singles
Speaker 4: on Okay Keep It said they were open to dating
Speaker 4: someone who doesn't drink alcohol, but that actually jumped really
Speaker 4: high to ninety six percent of respondents in twenty twenty two.
Speaker 4: So we are definitely seeing this becoming a trend, and
Speaker 4: it's really driven by millennials and gen Zers, but specifically
Speaker 4: gen z. They're the ones saying, I don't need to
Speaker 4: be drinking on a date. I want to do something
Speaker 4: that doesn't involve alcohol. So that's like one of the
Speaker 4: trends we're seeing that generation drive. We're also seeing them
Speaker 4: drive a trend in not being in such a rush
Speaker 4: to sleep around. And this was actually something that I
Speaker 4: found really interesting when we were looking at the data
Speaker 4: that gen zers or gen z daters were the generation
Speaker 4: that was most likely to want to get to know
Speaker 4: someone first, and they were taking more time than millennials
Speaker 4: to move the relationship into a physical space more quickly.
Speaker 4: So that was something nice to see as well and interesting.
Speaker 3: The new generation doesn't just want to sleep around, doesn't
Speaker 3: just want to get drunk, doesn't just want to be
Speaker 3: physically attracted to someone and have adventures.
Speaker 2: They actually want to have a connection.
Speaker 3: They want to talk about mental health, They want to
Speaker 3: align with someone mentally, physically, spiritually, and like in their
Speaker 3: beliefs in the world, and they want it to be
Speaker 3: like a real full connection more than before.
Speaker 2: It feels like that's a top priority.
Speaker 3: And because of dating app you really can do that
Speaker 3: more quickly. It can use the apps to their highest
Speaker 3: and best advantage, which you can with something like Okay KEEPID.
Speaker 3: You really can set yourself up for good dates and
Speaker 3: it might not be like I was kind of saying earlier,
Speaker 3: it might not be like one, but like you can
Speaker 3: set yourself up to have an enjoyable date with someone
Speaker 3: that you at least you know you're aligning with on
Speaker 3: a lot of things.
Speaker 4: Yeah, people, I think people are looking you said this earlier,
Speaker 4: like there's people are being more intentional about their dating
Speaker 4: and they're kind of they're not deep prioritizing, you know,
Speaker 4: that physical attraction, but they really are prioritizing compatibility. They're
Speaker 4: certain things that are just deal breakers or deal makers
Speaker 4: for people, and they're that's what's like top of their
Speaker 4: list right now.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 3: That that makes me feel inspired and hopeful, and that
Speaker 3: makes me feel like we're getting a little bit over
Speaker 3: the hump of this, the big surge of technology like
Speaker 3: Instagram and dating apps and all this connection to everyone.
Speaker 3: Like when it all came out in the beginning, it
Speaker 3: was so much and people didn't quite know how to
Speaker 3: handle it.
Speaker 2: But I feel like maybe now people are realizing how
Speaker 2: to use how the good way to utilize all these
Speaker 2: apps in the negative way. You know.
Speaker 3: It's like you can use a dating app to really
Speaker 3: have a great experience, or you can use it because
Speaker 3: you just want to hook up and sleep around and
Speaker 3: do whatever.
Speaker 2: And that's fine.
Speaker 3: But it's like people are now it's saying thing on
Speaker 3: like Instagram, like it used to be like a comparison
Speaker 3: hole and like TikTok, and like you would feel bad
Speaker 3: about yourself. But now it's like people are actually making
Speaker 3: useful videos and people you can learn stuff and you
Speaker 3: can like teach people things and it can be elevating
Speaker 3: at the same time, you know, I feel like now
Speaker 3: maybe it's like sifting.
Speaker 2: Out enough where it's not like, oh my god, this
Speaker 2: is just all bad or this is just all good.
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, okay, you can actually have a really
Speaker 2: healthy experience here.
Speaker 4: One hundred percent. There's definitely a culture shift. We've obviously
Speaker 4: seen it on okaycup It, but to your point, I'm
Speaker 4: seeing that on Instagram, I'm seeing it on LinkedIn, I'm
Speaker 4: definitely seeing it on TikTok. The type of content that
Speaker 4: I saw on all those platforms three years ago is
Speaker 4: completely different than what I'm seeing today. Even LinkedIn, I
Speaker 4: see such vulnerability and emotion in everyone's posts and it's
Speaker 4: really uplifting. So a lot of these platforms, which I
Speaker 4: think got a really bad rap and you know, they're
Speaker 4: called toxic at times, they've been really helpful and I
Speaker 4: think people are building communities on all these different platforms
Speaker 4: and were I mean, we're saying that I'm Okay, keep
Speaker 4: it as well.
Speaker 3: I think it's just it's like with anything with a
Speaker 3: pendulum swing, you just it takes a little time to
Speaker 3: like figure it out and to figure out how to
Speaker 3: like use.
Speaker 2: It to the best way that you can.
Speaker 3: But like I'm sitting here listening to what you're saying
Speaker 3: and thinking about how I was when I was dating.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Michael, I was a freaking tornado. Like
Speaker 3: I was just like trying to make out with everybody
Speaker 3: that I had a connection with, and like I wanted
Speaker 3: to fall so deeply in life, but like I didn't
Speaker 3: even know how to get to those big questions right away.
Speaker 3: And then it's just like it was like a mess,
Speaker 3: which I was just like it was just a disaster.
Speaker 3: I mean it was fun, but like I think I
Speaker 3: could have really done a better job with And I
Speaker 3: love my husband and I'm so thankful I ended up
Speaker 3: where I did and he's the best and we're it's amazing,
Speaker 3: thank God, Like we found each other through the.
Speaker 2: Mess of dating. But like I feel like, Okay, Cupid.
Speaker 3: Really could help you clean it up a little bit,
Speaker 3: like and just not have to be a dumpster fire
Speaker 3: of ating dedating dating disaster. Maybe I mean, you still can,
Speaker 3: and I'm sure dating is still hard no matter how
Speaker 3: you slice it. But I feel like the app is
Speaker 3: the way to go. Like, if you're not on an
Speaker 3: app at this day and age, you're really missing out.
Speaker 4: I think you you definitely have to be on an app.
Speaker 4: That's where most people are really going to be meeting another,
Speaker 4: you know, a romantic partner. I also think it's important
Speaker 4: to choose the right app for you. Yeah, there's going
Speaker 4: to be people who come to Okay Cupan and say,
Speaker 4: I'm not really getting what I want out of this.
Speaker 4: There a disconnect, just like we're going to see people
Speaker 4: turn to Tinder and say the same thing or hand.
Speaker 4: So figure out before you go on any of these apps.
Speaker 4: Figure out what you're looking for in a partner, what
Speaker 4: you're looking for in a relationship, and then find that
Speaker 4: app that is going to really match that match your
Speaker 4: values and your beliefs. There are so many dating apps
Speaker 4: out there you can find the one for you, and
Speaker 4: most people are on multiple at a time, So try
Speaker 4: a few different ones out.
Speaker 2: What do you love about Okay keep It? What do
Speaker 2: you love about working there?
Speaker 3: What do you love about the company, Like, what has
Speaker 3: you been there a long time, right.
Speaker 4: Yeah, almost four years. I would say the brand itself
Speaker 4: is so aligned with my personal values.
Speaker 3: Can talk to me about your values, talk to me
Speaker 3: about the values of okaykeepit, which are yours?
Speaker 4: Yeah, so Okaycupid has well I identify as gay for
Speaker 4: anyone who has not figured that out yet spoiler alert.
Speaker 4: But I am also on the board of the Human
Speaker 4: Rights Campaign, so I am part of the community. I
Speaker 4: advocate for my own community. Okay keep It has been
Speaker 4: introducing features specifically designed for LGBTQ plus users for years
Speaker 4: and it's still the small, like a very moll cohort
Speaker 4: of people who are on our app. But it's so
Speaker 4: important to the company, which I think tells a lot
Speaker 4: about the brand too, that they're saying, you know what,
Speaker 4: this isn't going to serve ninety eight percent of our users,
Speaker 4: but we're going to do this anyway because the people
Speaker 4: that it does serve, it's going to make such a
Speaker 4: strong impact. So Okay keep It was the first to
Speaker 4: expand gender and orientation options, the first I add a
Speaker 4: pronouner to profile they have in app. I talked about
Speaker 4: our questions all the time. We actually have questions specifically
Speaker 4: for LGBTQ plus people that were written by queer people,
Speaker 4: and even within our own community, we're not all the same.
Speaker 4: So there are questions for bisexual people, questions for gay people,
Speaker 4: and that's something I, you know, I have always loved about.
Speaker 4: And you know, a few months ago, I thought, Okay,
Speaker 4: when's the first time they actually added a question for
Speaker 4: a queer person?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 4: Was it when it became a trending topic? And it
Speaker 4: was actually two thousand and four, the year the company
Speaker 4: launched the app. So like that, just like further made
Speaker 4: me love this company that much more. And from a
Speaker 4: product perspective, I love that it's designed in a way
Speaker 4: that tailors the experience to people all around the world.
Speaker 4: So and again we do that with our question. So
Speaker 4: if you're dating in Nashville or New York City or
Speaker 4: San Francisco, questions you see are going to be different
Speaker 4: than if you're dating in London or Tel Aviv or
Speaker 4: Mumbai or whatever city you're in around the world because
Speaker 4: we have localized questions in over thirty countries, because we
Speaker 4: know every culture is different.
Speaker 3: Wow, So y'all really put in some time to set
Speaker 3: people up for success.
Speaker 4: We yes, like we don't want you to be on
Speaker 4: the app forever. No one wants to get on a
Speaker 4: dating app where they don't know anybody who's meant on it.
Speaker 4: So we want you to find success. We want to
Speaker 4: give you all the tools that you that is going
Speaker 4: to make your experience better. I mean, we even have
Speaker 4: something called iqpid that is personal to you. So you
Speaker 4: see it. You see this dashboard. No one else is
Speaker 4: going to see your dashboard, and it gives you tips
Speaker 4: on how to optimize the app to get a better experience. So,
Speaker 4: like one of those tips is filling out every detail
Speaker 4: on your profile.
Speaker 2: Oh, let's do how to Let's do how to Okay?
Speaker 3: How to optimize your dating experience on okay Cupid. How
Speaker 3: do you go on okay Cupid and set yourself up
Speaker 3: for the most success to win the dating game.
Speaker 4: Well, first is filling out everything we tell you too
Speaker 4: on your profile, because once you do that, people who
Speaker 4: have a complete profile get two hundred percent more matches
Speaker 4: than people who are leaving things blank.
Speaker 2: So take it seriously, do the work.
Speaker 4: There's other tips and tricks like the amount of photos
Speaker 4: you should include, which are at least five to six,
Speaker 4: the amount of like characters, that you should include in
Speaker 4: your summary section. But one tip that I'll give that
Speaker 4: actually works for any dating app, so whether that's Hinge
Speaker 4: or Tinder or Match or okaycup it. And I found
Speaker 4: this fascinating. I learned it from our data science team
Speaker 4: when I first joined the company. So it's an insider trick.
Speaker 4: Every three to four weeks, so about once a month,
Speaker 4: you need to change things on your profile. Delete one
Speaker 4: or two photos and add one or two new ones,
Speaker 4: and change a few of the responses the prompts that
Speaker 4: you're answering. So if you're on Hinge and you're answering
Speaker 4: a few prompts, change some of those. Same with okaycup It.
Speaker 4: What's going to happen is the app is actually going
Speaker 4: to get confused and it's going to see all this
Speaker 4: activity happening on your profile, and it's going to say, oh,
Speaker 4: this is a brand new user, and it's going to
Speaker 4: boost you and show you to even more profiles. So
Speaker 4: that's a trick I always tell friends to do, like
Speaker 4: once a month.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, so insider trick. Okay, So then answer answer
Speaker 3: all the prompts, which I love that you guys ask
Speaker 3: all the things like are you sensitive you talk about
Speaker 3: like politics, beliefs, all of it, the big topics, y'all
Speaker 3: ask the big questions. So answer all the questions, change
Speaker 3: it up, and then how do you stay Like how
Speaker 3: do you stay moving on it? How do you stay
Speaker 3: getting the good people come in your way? Like how
Speaker 3: do you like how do you interact? You need to
Speaker 3: be writing people like is it good to reach out
Speaker 3: to people first? And you were saying earlier like don't
Speaker 3: reach out with just a hey, reach out with like
Speaker 3: a joke, oh, which would freak me out, But like
Speaker 3: you know, just like reach out, have a good have
Speaker 3: a good entry point to like talk to some like
Speaker 3: how do you like make the first move?
Speaker 2: Like how do you take it to the next step?
Speaker 2: Like how do you keep it going?
Speaker 4: Well, first, be really mindful about what you're putting into
Speaker 4: your profile. Well, that's actually the most important piece because
Speaker 4: it's your first impression. That's when people learn about you
Speaker 4: before they even start talking with you. So the one
Speaker 4: tip I have, or one of the tips I have
Speaker 4: for that is always be positive with anything you write
Speaker 4: a profile proms, I'll open friends dating apps with them,
Speaker 4: and I'll scroll past profiles with them. And the biggest
Speaker 4: turn off I see is someone saying swipe left if
Speaker 4: and it's just so negative. I think it's really important
Speaker 4: that we all have those things that are important to us.
Speaker 4: But instead of focusing on your deal breakers, I have
Speaker 4: to tell people to highlight their deal makers.
Speaker 1: So it's just.
Speaker 4: About repositioning what you're putting out there in a more
Speaker 4: positive way. And then also make lists when you're filling
Speaker 4: out your profile and you're responding to different prompts, list
Speaker 4: books that you're reading, or restaurants you want to go to,
Speaker 4: vacations you want to go on, songs on your Spotify list.
Speaker 4: What this is going to do is it's going to
Speaker 4: give someone something that they can respond to. And you
Speaker 4: want to do this with your photos too, Like you
Speaker 4: don't want to upload five different selfies. You want to
Speaker 4: upload a photo of you at the Taylor Swift concert
Speaker 4: or running a marathon or on vacation. That's going to
Speaker 4: give someone a conversation starter in a really easy way,
Speaker 4: because people need help with that opening message. So those
Speaker 4: are like the profile tips that I love to get people.
Speaker 4: And then also kind of have a.
Speaker 3: Well rounded picture, like not like what about like bikini pictures.
Speaker 3: I feel like that was the thing, is that still cool?
Speaker 3: Do you want to put your body up there?
Speaker 2: Is it more like put your full experience, not just
Speaker 2: that you got you know, some nice boods.
Speaker 4: I mean, if you're comfortable with that, I say absolutely,
Speaker 4: go and do it. But make sure there's a diverse
Speaker 4: mix of photos, because again, being attractive, having someone who's
Speaker 4: attracted to you, that's definitely going to draw them in
Speaker 4: maybe for the first half a second, but after that
Speaker 4: there needs to be substance. There needs to be something
Speaker 4: that's going to keep them hooked and interested. So even
Speaker 4: if it's you in a bikini, what are you doing?
Speaker 4: Are you on vacation? You know, give a little bit
Speaker 4: more color to what you're interested in.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have a point to Okay, So that's great
Speaker 3: with the profile picture, in the in the profile tagline.
Speaker 2: Then what's next.
Speaker 4: When it comes to messaging them for the first time.
Speaker 4: We talked about like the icebreakers that are resonating well
Speaker 4: with people. But one thing I just want to add
Speaker 4: to that is women should definitely feel comfortable making the
Speaker 4: first move, and we have data that backs up that
Speaker 4: it's more successful for them. So one thing we saw
Speaker 4: during the pandemic was that on okay Cupid, women were
Speaker 4: sending the first message more than they ever were in
Speaker 4: our eighteen year history. I think they said, you know
Speaker 4: f it, I'm at home, I'm on a couch, I
Speaker 4: know what I'm looking for, and I'm not going to
Speaker 4: wait for a princh charming to come and knock on
Speaker 4: my door or message me on a dating app. If
Speaker 4: I want to talk to someone, I'm going to go
Speaker 4: talk to them.
Speaker 2: And yes, I love that.
Speaker 4: Conversations that are initiated by women last significantly longer on
Speaker 4: Okaycuepan than conversations that are started by men. So go
Speaker 4: out there, put yourself out there and send that first message.
Speaker 3: Oh I love that, Okay, And like you said, is
Speaker 3: there a specific kind of message to send?
Speaker 2: Some people do a joke.
Speaker 3: Some people say, hey, I saw your prope, I saw
Speaker 3: your picture. I like that you are love to go
Speaker 3: to the beach. Like is it just like you just
Speaker 3: kind of start with something obvious.
Speaker 4: I would say, start with anything that's like a conversation starter.
Speaker 4: So give a little bit more about yourself or kind
Speaker 4: of what you're looking for, think about why you're on
Speaker 4: the dating app, and you can open up with that
Speaker 4: as well. I like to I think questions are the
Speaker 4: best way to start. Maybe like add an opening sentence
Speaker 4: to that question, But I think questions are a great
Speaker 4: conversation starter because before they're even going to dissect your
Speaker 4: question or panic about what to say, the most natural
Speaker 4: thing is going to be respond to that question, and
Speaker 4: then you have a conversation starting.
Speaker 2: H I love that, Okay, And then talked to you
Speaker 2: about the metaverse. What's happening? Will people date on the metaverse?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: What is? What does that mean? So?
Speaker 4: I think the jury is still out with that. Is
Speaker 4: it that like gen z are most interested in exploring
Speaker 4: the metaverse compared to millennials, compared to Gen xers. But basically,
Speaker 4: how you would date in the metaverse is going to
Speaker 4: a platform which you put.
Speaker 2: On like a you put on like a headset.
Speaker 4: Yes, or you don't actually don't even have to do that.
Speaker 4: You create an avatar, so like a character of yourself
Speaker 4: or who you want to be. You go to another platform.
Speaker 4: This is there's no metaverse on, Okay, keepit, but you
Speaker 4: can go. I like to think of it as like gaming.
Speaker 4: That's like the easiest way for me to think about it.
Speaker 4: Character when you're gaming and you're interacting with with other people.
Speaker 4: So just like you're interacting with other gamers, you can
Speaker 4: interact with other dats not for me, not my jam.
Speaker 3: So people will go in there and create an avatar?
Speaker 3: And can does it have to be a human? Can
Speaker 3: it be like a superhuman?
Speaker 4: Could be a superhuman man?
Speaker 2: This is wild? God gosh, I'm getting old.
Speaker 3: I'm really starting to get old because I'm like, what
Speaker 3: is all this stuff that young people are doing?
Speaker 2: Like, my head can't grasp it. My brain's not like
Speaker 2: my bandwidth isn't big enough to understand it.
Speaker 4: I'm with you, honestly, I was like, what is TikTok
Speaker 4: at the being of the pandemic?
Speaker 1: I know?
Speaker 2: But now you're probably like the TikTok king, aren't you?
Speaker 4: Maybe the TikTok watching king. I'm not cool enough to
Speaker 4: be posting.
Speaker 2: But you understand stuff because like for you understand, I
Speaker 2: feel like you understand trends, you understand what's happening, You
Speaker 2: understand climate and culture, Like are you just taking stuff in?
Speaker 2: Is that? Do you kind of just gather information all
Speaker 2: the time.
Speaker 4: I feel like I'm constantly digesting what's happening in pop culture,
Speaker 4: in society, in I have to pay attention to like
Speaker 4: politics and the economy, and because everything that's around us
Speaker 4: that winds up inspiring the questions we ask on our app.
Speaker 4: So I have to understand and what's top of mind
Speaker 4: for people in general in the US and in the
Speaker 4: UK and Israel and Germany and all these different markets
Speaker 4: that we're marketing in.
Speaker 2: So you have to you have to understand it for
Speaker 2: every market. Yeah, does that mean you go travel to
Speaker 2: these other countries where okay Cupid is and like you like,
Speaker 2: do case study or how do you get your information?
Speaker 2: Do you just travel on TikTok?
Speaker 4: So? I haven't yet because most of the time that
Speaker 4: I've been at Okaycupan has been during a pandemic. Fun
Speaker 4: but I have amazing partners in each of these markets
Speaker 4: on the ground. So every every week I'm talking talking
Speaker 4: to partners who are Israeli, British, Australian, Turkish, German, and
Speaker 4: we're collaborating on what we should be asking, what we
Speaker 4: should be saying on social what content we should be creating.
Speaker 3: So okay, so your job role is creating the questions
Speaker 3: in the app and then creating the content to let
Speaker 3: people know what's happening.
Speaker 2: In the app is that your you, just you are
Speaker 2: the heart and the soul in expressed form of what
Speaker 2: okay keep it stands for.
Speaker 4: I like to think of myself like the core pillar
Speaker 4: of my job is basically storytelling. I'm telling stories and media.
Speaker 4: We're telling stories on social working with influencers to help
Speaker 4: tell stories. So storytelling is that like common thread through
Speaker 4: everything that I do.
Speaker 2: What is inspiring you about dating these days and making
Speaker 2: you feel discouraged about dating these days?
Speaker 4: Ooh, that's such a good question. I would say a
Speaker 4: lot of the trends that we talked about are what's
Speaker 4: inspiring me. Seeing how active and vocal our daters are
Speaker 4: when it comes to Black Lives Matter and climate change
Speaker 4: and LGBTQ plus rights and reproductive healthcare. That's just it's
Speaker 4: so inspiring to see because we are, you know, seeing
Speaker 4: how people are responding to questions about these topics. We're
Speaker 4: the only dating app that introduced a Black Lives Matter
Speaker 4: profile badge, the only dating app that introduced an I'm
Speaker 4: pro choice badge in response to what we've seen happen
Speaker 4: in the US. So our daters actually keep me really
Speaker 4: inspired every single day. What's discouraging probably people complain about dating.
Speaker 4: People love to complain about dating. I hear complaints every
Speaker 4: single day about not just dating apps, but like dating
Speaker 4: culture in general. That kind of just comes with the job.
Speaker 4: And then anytime I hear a friend or maybe a
Speaker 4: dater that DMS me about an experience. Anytime I hear
Speaker 4: someone get ghosted, that's really discouraging because there's no reason
Speaker 4: to do it. I like, you don't have to end
Speaker 4: something with someone in person if you don't feel comfortable
Speaker 4: after especially after first few dates, but you can just
Speaker 4: text them or message them on the app and let
Speaker 4: them know that you're not feeling it. So that's discouraging
Speaker 4: because there's no reason for it, and it feels down
Speaker 4: on the other side.
Speaker 2: Okay, I love that. So where do you think dating
Speaker 2: is going to be in the next like decade.
Speaker 4: I think we're probably going to build off a lot
Speaker 4: of the trends we're seeing now in that tall, dark,
Speaker 4: and handsome is going to be so far forgotten in
Speaker 4: what people are looking for again. Still, I don't think
Speaker 4: we'll ever lose that attraction piece, but it's not going
Speaker 4: to be anywhere near the top of people's list, and
Speaker 4: we're going to become even more mindful in how we're dating,
Speaker 4: and that makes me hopeful too.
Speaker 3: It's even like I have a three year old daughter,
Speaker 3: and so we we're watching a lot of Disney movies
Speaker 3: right now. Like I don't like playing the old Disney
Speaker 3: movies like Sleeping Beauty and Snow White and Cinderella. It's
Speaker 3: like all of those movies set up this maiden in
Speaker 3: distress to be saved by the tall, dark and handsome prince,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, oh, oh.
Speaker 2: I can't do it. And I like love those movies
Speaker 2: growing up, but I'm like the messaging is just not right.
Speaker 2: So it's like the.
Speaker 3: New movies, like I feel like even seeing it in Disney,
Speaker 3: it's changing, like how people are viewing their roles and
Speaker 3: what a relationship is. Like with Encanto, it's like you
Speaker 3: know and like uh mawana, and it's like women are
Speaker 3: strong and capable and it's not all about having someone
Speaker 3: save you and having like the.
Speaker 2: Tall, dark and handsome prince ride in. It's like, no,
Speaker 2: let's not do that anymore. Like yes, let's be attracted,
Speaker 2: but we don't. No one needs to be saved.
Speaker 3: We all need to be like working together and healing
Speaker 3: ourselves and then becoming a stronger team together. I feel
Speaker 3: like it's shifting in general, Like the awareness of what
Speaker 3: a relationship could and should be is elevating.
Speaker 4: Absolutely. And those are also two of my favorite movies.
Speaker 2: In Conto and Mawana.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm like a child still me too.
Speaker 2: I could watch them all the time.
Speaker 3: I'd literally all the New Disney movies I love and I.
Speaker 2: Like watch the old oh good, but the old ones.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you've watched the old ones. If
Speaker 3: you watch the old ones in comparison to the new ones,
Speaker 3: like the way the storylines are changing, it's it's huge,
Speaker 3: It's like a drastic change.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I haven't like, really rewatched the old ones for
Speaker 4: quite some time, although there was literally a week during
Speaker 4: the pandemic that I watched Mawana five times in one week.
Speaker 2: It's the best movie of all time. Yeah, my favorite.
Speaker 2: Do you like that part with the crab is singing
Speaker 2: and he's like, did you like my song? It's like myself,
Speaker 2: I freaking love one. It's so good man, Michael, You're
Speaker 2: so fun. What are you loving in life these days?
Speaker 2: What's bringing you joy?
Speaker 4: Soul cycle? That's my therapy? Okay, I need. I need
Speaker 4: to go like four or five times a week. It's
Speaker 4: how I remain calm and grounded and collected. And then
Speaker 4: also reading books like hardcover not tablets. I'm a big reader.
Speaker 2: What are you reading right now?
Speaker 4: I right now am reading Every Value Break by Peter Swanson,
Speaker 4: So I'm really into like mysteries and thrillers.
Speaker 2: Every Value Break Okay, okay.
Speaker 4: It's very good so far.
Speaker 2: Well, you're just so fun.
Speaker 4: What's it?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 3: And I have like two more questions than a wrap up?
Speaker 3: What's it like to be living in New York? Like
Speaker 3: you're in the city of all the action, but yet
Speaker 3: now we've come out of this pandemic, everything's changed. I
Speaker 3: feel like all the big cities don't quite have the
Speaker 3: same like beautiful, glamorous vibe they used to have, but
Speaker 3: still in my heart, I feel like they do.
Speaker 2: I don't know what's it like to be a young, sophisticated,
Speaker 2: in love guy in your prime in New York City
Speaker 2: right now? What is that vibe?
Speaker 4: I think it's just as magical as pre pandemic. Because
Speaker 4: I'm a New Yorker born and raised, so my parents
Speaker 4: are Brooklyn born. I grew up right outside New York City.
Speaker 4: I went to college in like the middle of New York,
Speaker 4: and I've been working in New York City since twenty fourteen.
Speaker 4: So New York will always be so incredibly special to me.
Speaker 4: Even when I travel, I'm always so excited to come
Speaker 4: back here.
Speaker 2: So the magic is still a full force.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's not going anywhere.
Speaker 2: Has it changed since the pandemic or is it kind
Speaker 2: of back to normal?
Speaker 4: I think it's back to normal. I would say probably
Speaker 4: twenty twenty one actually is when it started to feel
Speaker 4: more normal. But yeah, I think it's I don't feel
Speaker 4: any like lingering impacts of the pandemic personally. Of course,
Speaker 4: there's been businesses that I've shot, but there's also been
Speaker 4: a ton of businesses that have emerged as well.
Speaker 2: Right, Like the online world has like really blown up.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I think the magic's still here. Definitely encourage
Speaker 4: people to come visit.
Speaker 2: Okay, good, because that New York to me is like
Speaker 2: one of the greatest cities ever. Just I mean even
Speaker 2: just like going being able to go to a Broadway play,
Speaker 2: you know, it's just like what you can do in
Speaker 2: New York is so spectacular. I always wrap up with
Speaker 2: one question and Michael, you are just such a fascinating
Speaker 2: person to talk to. You have such like a pulse
Speaker 2: on what's happening in the world. It's so easy to like,
Speaker 2: I'm like, what, fifteen.
Speaker 3: Years out of dating, so I'm kind of far out
Speaker 3: of dating, but it's like so easy to like get
Speaker 3: out of what's happening.
Speaker 2: And like, I literally look at all the young people
Speaker 2: all the time, and I'm like, what, how are you
Speaker 2: navigating this? What's going on out there?
Speaker 3: So like just to know from an insider perspective, like yourself,
Speaker 3: what dating really is these days, how people are doing it,
Speaker 3: how to succeed with it, how to use these apps
Speaker 3: to the best of your advantage, and how not to
Speaker 3: be like I mean, I guess people really aren't like
Speaker 3: embarrassed of being online anymore on apps, Like that's like
Speaker 3: a normal thing, right, Yeah.
Speaker 4: Although when I met my boyfriend, we met on Tinder
Speaker 4: in twenty fourteen, and I had only known about Tinder
Speaker 4: for maybe three months at that point, and I remember
Speaker 4: the first time I heard it. I was away with
Speaker 4: friends and one of my guy friends is meeting up
Speaker 4: with a girl that he met on Tinder, and I
Speaker 4: thought that is so weird. That you're meeting up with
Speaker 4: a strainer in a new city that you met on
Speaker 4: an app. And now it's so much more normalized that
Speaker 4: I'll be out with friends or friends will go out
Speaker 4: and let me know things that happened and they'll be like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, this guy was so creepy out the
Speaker 4: bar and I'm like, well, what happened And she's like, well,
Speaker 4: I don't know him, and he came up and said
Speaker 4: hi to me. So there's like such a like course.
Speaker 4: Now I'm fascinating.
Speaker 3: Because before the only way to talk to someone is
Speaker 3: a random guy to come up and talk to you
Speaker 3: at a bar, or not the only way, but that
Speaker 3: was like one of the main ways. So now that's
Speaker 3: actually considered kind of like invasive and gross.
Speaker 4: Yeah you see, like a swap that's so wild.
Speaker 2: So like the way that people used to do it
Speaker 2: is now like a total turn off and disgusting. It's creepy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so weird.
Speaker 2: I always wrap up with leave your light. And it's
Speaker 2: just a super open ended question, especially like with you
Speaker 2: and dating and understanding all this and the culture. What
Speaker 2: do you want people to know?
Speaker 4: Ooh, I want people to know something. I tell myself
Speaker 4: that You are enough exactly how you are, and for
Speaker 4: anything good that happens in your life, you deserve it.
Speaker 4: You are not lucky, you earned it. So whether that's
Speaker 4: having a seat at the table, being part of a
Speaker 4: certain room, you are there for a reason. So you
Speaker 4: are enough and you deserve all the good coming your way.
Speaker 2: Love that love that so good.
Speaker 4: I'm so gay.
Speaker 2: You're the one behind all the questions for the dating
Speaker 2: app because you have such a sweet, beautiful soul, Michael,
Speaker 2: and I love that you're putting that out into the
Speaker 2: world with the people trying to find their own love stories.
Speaker 4: Yes, positive vibes.
Speaker 2: So where can everyone get involved with Okaycupid?
Speaker 3: If people want to follow along with you? Just what's
Speaker 3: all the information we need to know to keep up
Speaker 3: with this conversation?
Speaker 4: You can follow and keep up with okaycuep it at
Speaker 4: Okaycupid on Instagram and Twitter and TikTok. And you can
Speaker 4: find me at Michael kPr on Instagram and Twitter and
Speaker 4: feel free to DM me with any dating questions you have,
Speaker 4: advice you need or if you just want event. I
Speaker 4: am there for you.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, You're so nice.
Speaker 3: So you actually respond to people and will like take
Speaker 3: their questions and answer them and give good feedback.
Speaker 4: Yes, I had one guy a couple months ago was
Speaker 4: dming me like paragraphs for about forty minutes on my
Speaker 4: commute to work, and we were going back and forth
Speaker 4: about this experience. He it wasn't even a girl he
Speaker 4: met on Okay Cupid. It was a woman he met
Speaker 4: in his like town, but he just like needed to
Speaker 4: talk to someone. So I'm there for you.
Speaker 2: So kind of generous of you to give your energy
Speaker 2: that way. That is so nice.
Speaker 3: Michael Okay, So y'all have questions, y'all hit Michael up.
Speaker 2: He said, doors are open. I love that you are
Speaker 2: such a kind, amazing soul. This was so fun to
Speaker 2: hear about this, and I appreciate you enlightening me because
Speaker 2: I now am like, oh, I mean I really am.
Speaker 2: I'm like old, Like I like the music I like.
Speaker 2: Now I'm like all these new artists coming out, I'm like,
Speaker 2: who are these? And like I was like, oh, I
Speaker 2: will never become old like my parents, and they just
Speaker 2: like don't stay hip with stuff, and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's just I'm out of the loop. I don't know
Speaker 2: how to stay in the loop anymore. It's a big
Speaker 2: loop to stay in.
Speaker 4: I'm in the same boat. I also teach. I teach
Speaker 4: at New York University, and my students will talk about
Speaker 4: things and I'm like, who is that? What is that trend?
Speaker 4: So they keep me young too.
Speaker 2: But how does how do they all know about the
Speaker 2: new person?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 2: Are they how do they all have the same Are
Speaker 2: they all like watching the same TikTok pages? Or like,
Speaker 2: I just don't know how they all know the same stuff.
Speaker 4: We're old, We're old.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 2: That's it. That's what I finally accepted.
Speaker 3: I'm like, it's like a full time job to stay
Speaker 3: current with who's out there, and I just don't have
Speaker 3: that desire anymore.
Speaker 2: Sadly, Oh but it's true. So thank you for updating
Speaker 2: me on what's going on in the dating world, because
Speaker 2: I've been curious about it, and I'm sure a lot
Speaker 2: of people are and this was such interesting information.
Speaker 4: Of course, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3: Well, you have a wonderful day and a great weekend,
Speaker 3: and maybe I'll see you out there in a wild
Speaker 3: world one day.
Speaker 2: Yes, Okay, bye Michael.
Speaker 4: Bye.