1 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:12,560 Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome to a new episode of Couch 2 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:16,240 Speaker 1: Talks on New Therapy podcast. My name is kat I 3 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:19,640 Speaker 1: am the host, and before we get started, quick reminder 4 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:22,919 Speaker 1: as always that although this podcast is hosted by a 5 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,320 Speaker 1: therapist and it's called UNI Therapy, this does not serve 6 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:30,360 Speaker 1: as a replacement or a substitute for any actual mental 7 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:34,599 Speaker 1: health services, including therapy. However, it definitely can help on 8 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 1: your journey that might also include going to therapy. If 9 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,559 Speaker 1: you were new or newer and you're like, wait, what 10 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,560 Speaker 1: is couch Talks, I'm lost. Couch Talks is the special 11 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: bonus episode that comes out every single Wednesday where I 12 00:00:47,159 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 1: answer questions that listeners send to me and you can 13 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:55,640 Speaker 1: send those to Catherine at UNI therapy podcast dot com 14 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 1: and maybe one day I might answer your question on 15 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:02,800 Speaker 1: the podcast. Now. I am freshly back from my trip 16 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:05,920 Speaker 1: to New York. Right now, I am recording this on 17 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 1: a Tuesday. I got back on Sunday night, and oh 18 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,960 Speaker 1: my gosh, it was so much fun. I wanted to 19 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,319 Speaker 1: extend my trip, and I even behind the scenes, while 20 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:18,640 Speaker 1: Patrick wasn't looking, looked up if we could change our flights. However, 21 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 1: I'm glad we didn't because both of us ended up 22 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,280 Speaker 1: getting cold. You might be able to even tell by 23 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,679 Speaker 1: the sound of my voice right now, because the weather 24 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,080 Speaker 1: was freaking crazy. It was like sixty five degrees when 25 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 1: we got there. Then the next day it rained and 26 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:35,160 Speaker 1: then it dropped to like twenties or something like that, 27 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,040 Speaker 1: and then the next day it was even more cold. 28 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:41,759 Speaker 1: So we had like every season in like three days. 29 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,880 Speaker 1: So it was really fun. I do have to share 30 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 1: the story, though, and there's a reason I'm sharing it. 31 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 1: But I am somebody, and if you're like me, shout 32 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:55,640 Speaker 1: out to all your people who have airport anxiety. And 33 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 1: I mean not like fear of flying. That doesn't really 34 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 1: get to me, is the fear of like missing my 35 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 1: flight and not having enough time to get everything that 36 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:07,440 Speaker 1: I need to get done before I, you know, get 37 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 1: on my flight. And I've actually never missed a flight. 38 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 1: I've been close before, but nothing like what I experienced 39 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: on Thursday. So we took a really early flight was 40 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,960 Speaker 1: five fifty and I'm the kind of person who like, 41 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:25,400 Speaker 1: I'm getting to the airport two hours early, but I 42 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:28,359 Speaker 1: was like, you know, it's five to fifty, We'll get 43 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:31,000 Speaker 1: there at like four fifty. We'll get there an hour before. 44 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:36,080 Speaker 1: The airport's never really busy, and you know, security moves 45 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 1: really fast. I've never really stood in the security line 46 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:42,000 Speaker 1: at the National Airport for too long unless there is 47 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,040 Speaker 1: actually some like weather issue or something like that. And 48 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:48,800 Speaker 1: so let's be cool and work on this anxiety and 49 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:52,040 Speaker 1: just get there an hour before. And that was the 50 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:55,160 Speaker 1: biggest mistake of the whole trip, because we got there 51 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:58,080 Speaker 1: a little bit over an hour before, checked our backs everything, 52 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 1: we got to the security line, and Nashville has changed 53 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 1: the airport since the last time I've flown, and all 54 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 1: gates go through the same security line. Now. We stayed 55 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 1: in that line for forty five minutes, I kid you not. 56 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 1: And when we first got in it, both Patrick, my boyfriend, 57 00:03:14,919 --> 00:03:17,840 Speaker 1: and I were thinking, this will probably move fast, like 58 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,720 Speaker 1: it's long, but like it'll move well. Twenty minutes in, 59 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,920 Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, it's not moving. And it was 60 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:27,079 Speaker 1: as if nobody had any urgency. It felt as if 61 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 1: everybody got to the airport four hours early, so nobody 62 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:33,200 Speaker 1: was really concerned and we were the only people that 63 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 1: were in a rush. So by the time we got 64 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 1: through the gate, I mean, we were so aunty. We 65 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 1: were like literally down to the wire, counting down the minutes. 66 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:43,960 Speaker 1: It was wild. Patrick wouldn't let me ask if we 67 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: could cut in line because he said that was cringing 68 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 1: and rude, and I said, well, next time, we're doing that, 69 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 1: because we almost missed this flight. We get through security, 70 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 1: thank god, we didn't have to get our bags checked, 71 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 1: and we booked it. Of course, we're at the freaking 72 00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:00,480 Speaker 1: last terminal or gate. We booked it. Like, I don't 73 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:03,080 Speaker 1: know how long I find myself to be a good runner, 74 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:07,000 Speaker 1: a strong runner. However, I was carrying this topebag that 75 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,240 Speaker 1: I had put this It was literally like ten pounds 76 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:13,560 Speaker 1: bag of these trolley sour gummy worms that Patrick had 77 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,240 Speaker 1: got me for Valentine's Day, and I had them in 78 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:18,160 Speaker 1: my bag. I had a toebag and not a backpack, 79 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,440 Speaker 1: and so it was hard to carry. We're like running 80 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:23,800 Speaker 1: through the airport. Patrick's six foot, I'm like five to three, 81 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,039 Speaker 1: So of course the strides are longer, and I my 82 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 1: lungs are burning, I can't breathe, my legs hurt. I'm 83 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 1: in jeans, and so I stopped and I'm like, I 84 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:33,839 Speaker 1: can't go any farther. And Patrick turns around He's like, 85 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:36,920 Speaker 1: we have to go, Kat, we have to go. Come on, 86 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 1: and I just looked at him and I was like, 87 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:43,320 Speaker 1: go without me, Just go without me. I can't make it. 88 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:46,320 Speaker 1: Because if I was like saying goodbye to him forever, 89 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: I was like, save yourself. I'll be fine. But my 90 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,600 Speaker 1: real thought was if he gets to the gate, he 91 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 1: can hold it like one more minute and I'll be 92 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 1: like trucking behind him. Anyway, we get to our gate, 93 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:01,039 Speaker 1: everybody's boarded, and when Patrick got there, they said are 94 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:03,840 Speaker 1: you Patrick? He was like yes, And so when I 95 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 1: got there, I was like, oh, I mean I made it, 96 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,200 Speaker 1: and they're like, you have one minute get on the plane. 97 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 1: So we got on the plane. It was like not 98 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 1: even half full of flights. So we got great seat. 99 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:16,000 Speaker 1: That wasn't the issue. But I was so exhausted. I 100 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 1: felt like I had run fifteen marathons. My anxiety was 101 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 1: at all time high and I never want to experience 102 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:23,640 Speaker 1: that again. Now you might be asking, why are you 103 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:26,840 Speaker 1: telling this story, what's the point. Well, the point is 104 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,160 Speaker 1: a lot of times we look at anxiety like it's 105 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,560 Speaker 1: a really bad thing. Like I have anxiety or worry 106 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:34,159 Speaker 1: about something, then I need to get rid of it. 107 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,400 Speaker 1: I need to work on it. I just need to 108 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:36,920 Speaker 1: be cool. I need to go with the flow. I 109 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,720 Speaker 1: need to do all of that. However, anxiety is a 110 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 1: very helpful thing at times. There are types of anxiety 111 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:48,200 Speaker 1: and forms of anxiety, levels of anxiety that move us 112 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:52,040 Speaker 1: through our world. Tara, who has been on the show 113 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,840 Speaker 1: multiple times, she said one time she was like, yeah, 114 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 1: anxiety is why I get out of bed in the 115 00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:58,320 Speaker 1: morning because I need to get to work. I have 116 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 1: anxiety about getting to work on time, and that is good. 117 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,800 Speaker 1: It's something that pushes you. It's energy that pushes you 118 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:06,280 Speaker 1: to do and get and find the things that you need. 119 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:09,400 Speaker 1: And my airport anxiety is there for a reason. It's 120 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:11,960 Speaker 1: very helpful. It gets me to the airport at a 121 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 1: time where I feel relaxed, I can enjoy my experience 122 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:19,080 Speaker 1: and all of that. So there's no reason that I 123 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,800 Speaker 1: need to work on this and change how I do 124 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:26,640 Speaker 1: the airport because it's not affecting my life negatively. Now 125 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,600 Speaker 1: if it was, if it was giving my life negative 126 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,159 Speaker 1: consequences by having to get to the airport two hours early, 127 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,280 Speaker 1: that would be a whole different conversation. But it's not 128 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 1: hurting me in fact, it is helping me, and so 129 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,159 Speaker 1: I would just want to share that story because so 130 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 1: often when we joke about or just state, I'd say 131 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 1: joke about because anxiety has become more of just like 132 00:06:47,279 --> 00:06:52,240 Speaker 1: subject for memes on Instagram. But as we talk about anxiety, 133 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,919 Speaker 1: oftentimes we talk about it with this negative connotation. I 134 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 1: have anxiety about that, and that means that that's bad. 135 00:06:58,040 --> 00:06:59,760 Speaker 1: And I want you guys to know that you have 136 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:04,560 Speaker 1: the ability to befriend your anxiety, like I'm befriending my 137 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:09,720 Speaker 1: airport anxiety one hundred because it is giving me something 138 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 1: that I need. It's giving me peace of mind, it's 139 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 1: giving me ample time, it's allowing me it's actually my 140 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 1: anxiety is allowing me to be relaxed. So I just 141 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:21,320 Speaker 1: want to share that too. Before you decide you need 142 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 1: to get rid of that anxiety, look at is this 143 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 1: causing me negative consequences in my life? Is there a 144 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 1: reason I want to get rid of this? Or do 145 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 1: I just think I need to get rid of this 146 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 1: because anxiety is supposed to be bad. But anxiety also 147 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 1: it's a fancy word for fear, and oftentimes fear is 148 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,720 Speaker 1: showing us what's important and it's pointing us to a 149 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:45,120 Speaker 1: need keeping us safe, and getting to the airport two 150 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,679 Speaker 1: hours early keeps me safe because I don't have to 151 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 1: almost have a heart attack running to the airport lugging 152 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 1: an eight poundback of trolley some sour gumming worms. So 153 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,720 Speaker 1: I wanted to share that that's the highlight of my trip. Now, 154 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:00,880 Speaker 1: the trip was really awesome. I had a great time. 155 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:02,720 Speaker 1: Thank you for anybody who sent me rex. I had 156 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 1: a lot of good bagels. It was wonderful. Now I 157 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:10,520 Speaker 1: want to get to the real meat of today's couch Talks. 158 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:14,200 Speaker 1: And if any of you guys did not know, some 159 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:16,920 Speaker 1: of you might know. This next week is NITA Week 160 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:21,160 Speaker 1: and NITA is the National Eating Disorder Awareness Association, and 161 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:24,560 Speaker 1: they have this week National Eating Disorder Awareness Week to 162 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:29,560 Speaker 1: spread hope, to spread awareness about eating disorders. And I 163 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 1: am somebody who early on in my career specialized in 164 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:36,760 Speaker 1: eating disorders as a therapist. And when I started this podcast, 165 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,240 Speaker 1: I felt like I was putting out more content that 166 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,840 Speaker 1: actually had to do with body image and eating disorders 167 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,800 Speaker 1: and all of that kind of stuff. And while I 168 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,079 Speaker 1: still I think weave that in, I haven't had a 169 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:50,559 Speaker 1: lot of dedicated content recently, So next week I am 170 00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:55,760 Speaker 1: going to dedicate Monday and Wednesday's episode on that subject. 171 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,160 Speaker 1: So if you have any questions that have to do 172 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:03,560 Speaker 1: with body image, eating, disordered eating from any perspective. It 173 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,080 Speaker 1: can be from a family member, from somebody actually going 174 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:09,880 Speaker 1: through that, any of that from an athlete perspective, just 175 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 1: send me your questions and I will use those to 176 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:16,160 Speaker 1: guide some of what I put out next week. And 177 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 1: instead of answering a question today, I thought I would 178 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 1: share a story from my life recently that had to 179 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:26,520 Speaker 1: do with my history with disordered eating and body image 180 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,120 Speaker 1: and something that I learned in something that was really 181 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:32,600 Speaker 1: actually helpful in a really weird way. So as somebody 182 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:36,080 Speaker 1: with a history of disordered eating, one thing that I 183 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:41,760 Speaker 1: know helps me maintain recovery and just helps me stay 184 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:43,840 Speaker 1: in line with what I want to stay in line 185 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: with when it comes to how I treat my body 186 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 1: and talk to my body and view my body is 187 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 1: not knowing my weight now. If I'm at the point now, 188 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 1: if I see my weight, I see it, but there's 189 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:55,840 Speaker 1: no reason I need to see my weight. So if 190 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 1: I can avoid seeing it, I'm definitely going to do that. 191 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,080 Speaker 1: I'm not going to go out of my way to 192 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:03,520 Speaker 1: know how much I weigh. It's just not necessary. It 193 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,719 Speaker 1: goes back to kind of what I talked about in 194 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,840 Speaker 1: some past episodes. Recently. We got to find ways to 195 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:12,200 Speaker 1: make whatever it is that we're looking to find or 196 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:16,120 Speaker 1: do or accomplish easy, and so it makes it easier 197 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 1: for me to not know my weight. So I try 198 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 1: not to know my weight. Now at the doctor, you know, 199 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:24,880 Speaker 1: you get weighed, And there's a really simple solution to this. 200 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:26,400 Speaker 1: If I don't want to know I wait, I just 201 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,520 Speaker 1: tell the doctor, Hey, I don't want to know my weight, 202 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:30,840 Speaker 1: so please don't say it out loud when I got 203 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,440 Speaker 1: on the scale, and a lot of people don't know. 204 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 1: That's something that you can do. And so if that 205 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,480 Speaker 1: is something that you would like to move forward, not 206 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:42,600 Speaker 1: knowing your weight when you're the doctor, you can very 207 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,600 Speaker 1: simply ask your doctor that I don't want to know 208 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:47,480 Speaker 1: my weight. You can tell them if you don't want 209 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,160 Speaker 1: the weight, and like, we have an online portal that 210 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,440 Speaker 1: has some of that information on there, and I can say, like, 211 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,400 Speaker 1: can you take that off of my portal so I 212 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:55,839 Speaker 1: don't have to see it when I open it up. 213 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: That's something that you can do. So I want to 214 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,800 Speaker 1: empower anybody who's like, oh, I really don't like seeing 215 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:02,320 Speaker 1: my weight when I go to the doctor. You don't 216 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 1: need to see it. So you can say, hey, I'm 217 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,719 Speaker 1: going to step on backwards, or hey I'm going to 218 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,280 Speaker 1: close my eyes or whatever you need to do, and 219 00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:12,920 Speaker 1: they then won't say what your weight is. Now, something 220 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:21,520 Speaker 1: a little strange about me, Something a little strange about me, 221 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,600 Speaker 1: People find it very strange. I don't think it's that strange. 222 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 1: But I've had the same doctor for basically my whole life. 223 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,760 Speaker 1: I moved here in second grade and I moved to 224 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 1: Tennessee and we got a family doctor. And that doctor 225 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:38,120 Speaker 1: was my doctor from second grade until about three years ago. 226 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:43,040 Speaker 1: And she was a pediatrician, family doctor. She was my gynecologist. 227 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,559 Speaker 1: She was everything. So I went to her forever and 228 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:48,680 Speaker 1: knew her forever, felt very comfortable with her, and knew 229 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,440 Speaker 1: that when I went there and I saw her nurse 230 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:53,360 Speaker 1: in the beginning, like it would never have any issues 231 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:56,439 Speaker 1: with asking for what I needed. And part of that 232 00:11:56,480 --> 00:12:00,120 Speaker 1: comes from I mean, I had stuff happened early on 233 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:03,200 Speaker 1: in my life that made me very worried and conscious 234 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 1: of my weight and I've had many conversations with really 235 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:09,280 Speaker 1: a lot of helpful conversations with my doctor, who normalized 236 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,079 Speaker 1: a lot of the fears that I had, and so 237 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:14,280 Speaker 1: she knew from a very early age that was something 238 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,160 Speaker 1: that was a little sensitive to me, or at times 239 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:21,600 Speaker 1: a lot sensitive. Well, three years ago, that doctor retired, 240 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:24,600 Speaker 1: and I'm very happy for her. Hopefully we all get 241 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 1: to retire one day. But that really stunk for me 242 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,240 Speaker 1: because then I had to get a new doctor and 243 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:32,080 Speaker 1: they replaced her. Her replacement was actually really awesome, but 244 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 1: then her replacement then left like a year later, so 245 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,959 Speaker 1: then I had to get a doctor another doctor again, 246 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:41,640 Speaker 1: and the interim doctor that I have right now I've 247 00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 1: had to see a couple times in the last year. 248 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,880 Speaker 1: And again, how I wish that my doctor didn't retire 249 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:50,839 Speaker 1: selfishly for me, And at the same time, I'm really 250 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,800 Speaker 1: grateful for this experience because I've now had to walk 251 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:58,680 Speaker 1: through firsthand how intimidating and scary sometimes finding a new 252 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:02,640 Speaker 1: doctor of any kind can be, especially if you hadn't 253 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:04,160 Speaker 1: really ever had to do it. So it gave me 254 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,320 Speaker 1: a different experience in perspective of what that's like for 255 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:09,600 Speaker 1: other people, which was really helpful. Now I had to 256 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:12,199 Speaker 1: go see this new doctor who had a different nurse 257 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 1: who the nurses who would weigh you and go through 258 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,920 Speaker 1: the you know, little I don't know kind of things 259 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,520 Speaker 1: before the doctor comes and see you. I don't know 260 00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:21,360 Speaker 1: what exactly, like your blood pressure and all that kind 261 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,600 Speaker 1: of stuff. So the first time I went to see 262 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:25,280 Speaker 1: this doctor, I said, hey, I don't want to know 263 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,959 Speaker 1: my weight, and the nurse I don't know even describe 264 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,480 Speaker 1: how she responded, but it just wasn't very kind, and 265 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:33,720 Speaker 1: she said, I don't really care what you do, but 266 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:36,600 Speaker 1: I need to put your coat down. And I was like, okay, 267 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:38,800 Speaker 1: that was like a little bit of a vulnerable thing 268 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,760 Speaker 1: that I shared and that didn't really feel awesome to 269 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,440 Speaker 1: hear that back, but whatever, so got off the scale. 270 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:45,520 Speaker 1: She said do you want to know if it went 271 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,719 Speaker 1: up or down? And I said no, I don't want 272 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:51,640 Speaker 1: to know anything about it. So that happened. Three months later. 273 00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:54,320 Speaker 1: I go back to this doctor, and I just imagine 274 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:57,200 Speaker 1: doctors might make a note of that of client doesn't 275 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,240 Speaker 1: want to know, or patient doesn't want to know, weight, 276 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 1: doesn't want to know, trends, all of that. Apparently that 277 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 1: didn't happen. Went back and I said again, which she said, 278 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,160 Speaker 1: to get on the scales, said I don't want in 279 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:07,880 Speaker 1: my weight she said. I said, I'm going to close 280 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,200 Speaker 1: my eyes, and she said, well, you can just get 281 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,880 Speaker 1: on backwards. And I said, okay, let's get on backwards again, 282 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:15,319 Speaker 1: kind of cold, and we're walking back to the room 283 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,240 Speaker 1: and she goes, you know, that's just what I have 284 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:21,440 Speaker 1: all my little blimics do is step on backwards. And 285 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:24,120 Speaker 1: to the average human being, I guess that might not 286 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,120 Speaker 1: mean anything to them, but that really didn't feel very 287 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,200 Speaker 1: good to hear, because one, I got some knowledge that, well, 288 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,640 Speaker 1: you really don't know what's in my chart. And then two, 289 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:37,320 Speaker 1: I just didn't like the way that felt talking about 290 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:40,000 Speaker 1: somebody who's struggling with an eating disorder or has had 291 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,920 Speaker 1: an eating disorder. I just didn't like the way that 292 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,880 Speaker 1: that felt. The way she said that some people it 293 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,560 Speaker 1: wouldn't it wouldn't bother them, and that's okay. I'm not 294 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,400 Speaker 1: even here to change that nurses behavior, but it didn't 295 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,840 Speaker 1: feel very good to me. Now, this did not trigger 296 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,680 Speaker 1: me to engage in any old behavior or anything like that, 297 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 1: but it did create some anger inside of me. And 298 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 1: this justice part came out that just was like, that's 299 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,880 Speaker 1: not right. That doesn't feel right to me. It doesn't 300 00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:09,120 Speaker 1: feel loving, it doesn't feel caring, it doesn't feel empathetic, 301 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:12,560 Speaker 1: it doesn't feel compassionate. Because obviously there's a reason I 302 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,120 Speaker 1: didn't want to see my weight, and there wasn't any 303 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,840 Speaker 1: desire to even understand that. And again, that doesn't have 304 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:21,600 Speaker 1: to be the way that that person operates, but it 305 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 1: sent something inside of me that was like, this doesn't 306 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:26,960 Speaker 1: feel like a good place. So instead of engaging in 307 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:28,680 Speaker 1: a behavior like I said, I wasn't really triggered to 308 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,120 Speaker 1: do that, but I did have a lot of emotion 309 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 1: inside of me, and so I wrote some stuff down 310 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,360 Speaker 1: and then I kind of vented and processed it out 311 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 1: with a friend, and then I scheduled an appointment with 312 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,960 Speaker 1: a new doctor. And I'm sharing this because a lot 313 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,880 Speaker 1: of times when I talk to people about, hey, you know, 314 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:46,280 Speaker 1: you can say you don't want to see your weight 315 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,520 Speaker 1: if that's really hard for you, it feels hard, and 316 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:53,680 Speaker 1: it feels scary because there's a lot of unknown in that, 317 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,360 Speaker 1: like how are they going to react? Like what if 318 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 1: they judge me? What if they make fun of me, 319 00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:00,600 Speaker 1: if they act rude? What if they say anyway, like, 320 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,160 Speaker 1: there's a lot of what ifs that might come from 321 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:05,760 Speaker 1: you asking for a need to be met. What if 322 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,480 Speaker 1: my need is not met in the way I need 323 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:10,760 Speaker 1: it to be met. And what I experienced is that 324 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,560 Speaker 1: exact thing, Like I said something and like that's not 325 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,760 Speaker 1: what I really wanted to receive, And it happened more 326 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:19,920 Speaker 1: than once in two different ways, and it didn't sit 327 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,520 Speaker 1: right with me for whatever reason. And again I want 328 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:25,400 Speaker 1: to be very vocal about this is about me not 329 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:30,040 Speaker 1: getting what I need when it comes to my specific care, 330 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 1: and me as a human not with anybody doing their 331 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,640 Speaker 1: job wrong. That's not even a concern of mine right now. 332 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 1: It's that this didn't feel right to me and what 333 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:41,840 Speaker 1: I need and what I know works for me. So 334 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:47,359 Speaker 1: in hindsight, I am very glad that I got this response. 335 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,440 Speaker 1: I'm really glad that I had to ask for that 336 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:52,360 Speaker 1: and then I got this response, because the worst that 337 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,440 Speaker 1: could really happen isn't one of those what ifs. The 338 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:58,320 Speaker 1: worst that could really happen is that I stay going 339 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,360 Speaker 1: to see a doctor for years and years and years 340 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,440 Speaker 1: that I don't feel fully safe and comfortable with, and 341 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,960 Speaker 1: that I don't feel fully safe sharing my story with 342 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:09,200 Speaker 1: and opening up with. And something I loved about my 343 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,399 Speaker 1: first doctor is that I went to her when I 344 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,440 Speaker 1: was feeling depressed before I went to a therapist. When 345 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:16,639 Speaker 1: I was feeling anxious, I went to her before I 346 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:19,359 Speaker 1: went to a therapist, and she actually ended up referring 347 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,240 Speaker 1: me to one of my therapists. But she said in 348 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,960 Speaker 1: that doctor's appointment that she feels that the most of 349 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:30,399 Speaker 1: what she does is provide more counseling type services, a 350 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 1: space to understand somebody, to hear somebody, to talk somebody 351 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,359 Speaker 1: through a tough time, and to be a safe space 352 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,400 Speaker 1: for them. And I did not feel that in this 353 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:43,240 Speaker 1: new space was the same office building, just a different 354 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:47,160 Speaker 1: actual office, different practitioners. And so I know what I 355 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,840 Speaker 1: need in order to actually get my needs meant when 356 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 1: it comes to medical things, and I need a space 357 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:58,160 Speaker 1: that feels really safe and open and compassionate. I need that. 358 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,520 Speaker 1: Some people don't need that, I as a human need that. 359 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,199 Speaker 1: And so again, the worst that could happen is not 360 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,400 Speaker 1: that that's the response I get. It's that I never 361 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,360 Speaker 1: askew for my needs, and then I don't actually get 362 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:11,679 Speaker 1: my needs met. And if I tell them and I 363 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,639 Speaker 1: get that response that I'm scared of the one that 364 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:16,240 Speaker 1: doesn't feel good, then it just confirms that this is 365 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,680 Speaker 1: not the right fit and like, hopefully I'll go find 366 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,199 Speaker 1: somebody else to see, which is what I did. And 367 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:24,600 Speaker 1: this kind of thing reminds me of what happens when 368 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 1: partners in relationships don't want to say the wrong thing 369 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,199 Speaker 1: or ask for too much, because if they do, what 370 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:33,080 Speaker 1: if their partner leaves them because they're needy or they 371 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:37,159 Speaker 1: overreacted or this or that or something along those lines, 372 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:40,400 Speaker 1: And well, you're going to lose either way if that's 373 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:43,879 Speaker 1: the way you're operating, right because you either pretend to 374 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,280 Speaker 1: be somebody you're not, you hide your needs and then 375 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,919 Speaker 1: you don't get your needs met, or you ask for 376 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,359 Speaker 1: what your needs are, you ask for your needs, you 377 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:54,800 Speaker 1: show up as yourself and then that gets rejected, or 378 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,880 Speaker 1: you don't get your needs mets. Still, if you're with 379 00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,919 Speaker 1: that person and that is how they are going to 380 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 1: respond to you asking for your needs, then whether you 381 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,240 Speaker 1: ask for them or you don't, you're still not getting 382 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:09,840 Speaker 1: them met. And that's never going to leave you fully satisfied. 383 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,359 Speaker 1: It's never going to leave you feeling safe in your relationship, 384 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,280 Speaker 1: And it's the same with me at the doctor's office. 385 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,600 Speaker 1: Right the way to get my needs met or to 386 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,600 Speaker 1: see where my needs like there's availability for that, like 387 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,040 Speaker 1: what kind of person actually matches up with what I need, 388 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,080 Speaker 1: That's how I get them met. So I might have 389 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,480 Speaker 1: to go through some experiences where I feel rejected or 390 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,359 Speaker 1: just not cared for well in order to get to 391 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,000 Speaker 1: a place where I do feel accepted and care for well. 392 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:35,960 Speaker 1: The way to get your needs met is to find 393 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 1: people who can show up the way that fits with 394 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:42,240 Speaker 1: what you are needing, not mask your needs to fit 395 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:46,840 Speaker 1: with what a person can provide, especially in a doctor's 396 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:50,320 Speaker 1: office when you're going there to get an actual safety 397 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:54,080 Speaker 1: health need met. So again I share this not to 398 00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:55,840 Speaker 1: scare you to be like this is what can happen 399 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:57,439 Speaker 1: if you ask for your needs at the doctor. Like, 400 00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,080 Speaker 1: I'm not trying to scare you at all because and 401 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,159 Speaker 1: this experience was really good for me. It's bringing me 402 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:06,760 Speaker 1: closer to actually getting my needs met so I can 403 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 1: feel safe, so I can feel comfortable, so I can 404 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:13,320 Speaker 1: be in a space that is compassionate. Again, some people 405 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:16,600 Speaker 1: like to go to the doctor to get through it, 406 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,919 Speaker 1: move goodbye. That is not me. I need to feel 407 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,560 Speaker 1: like if there's some tears that need to be shared, 408 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,760 Speaker 1: those can come out. I can ask a lot of questions. 409 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,880 Speaker 1: I can be confused, I can be scared. I need 410 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:30,959 Speaker 1: that's what I need in a doctor's office. So if 411 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,240 Speaker 1: I would have started with I want to share this 412 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:37,280 Speaker 1: story as some words of encouragement, you'd be like, huh. 413 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:41,359 Speaker 1: But hopefully through this long winded explanation of a pretty 414 00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:45,000 Speaker 1: short story, you can see how this thing that at 415 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:48,480 Speaker 1: first glance or in the beginning when it happened, Because 416 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:51,880 Speaker 1: I will tell you I did cry after this doctor's appointment. 417 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:54,800 Speaker 1: Didn't feel great at first, but then it led me 418 00:20:54,880 --> 00:21:00,159 Speaker 1: to actually feeling way better. And I know that what 419 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,240 Speaker 1: I experienced was not an attack on me. I wasn't 420 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:06,000 Speaker 1: responded to in that way because I did something wrong, 421 00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:08,320 Speaker 1: or that I was asking for too much or any 422 00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:11,080 Speaker 1: of that. I was responded to that way because where 423 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,439 Speaker 1: I was didn't have the tools and understanding and the 424 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:19,240 Speaker 1: knowledge to really offer me what I needed in that moment. 425 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,119 Speaker 1: And because I know that I can go try to 426 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:26,359 Speaker 1: find a place that does have that. So let your 427 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,840 Speaker 1: needs be known, and if they are met with rejection 428 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:33,920 Speaker 1: or cruelty or a lack of compassion or any of that. 429 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:36,760 Speaker 1: Then you just have more information that that is not 430 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,879 Speaker 1: the place that you might want to go in the 431 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:42,600 Speaker 1: future for that specific thing. And so I'm not going 432 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:45,000 Speaker 1: to go to that doctor's office anymore. And I'm okay 433 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,040 Speaker 1: with that, although they're also to talk about failures. There's 434 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:49,399 Speaker 1: some grief in the fact that I've been going to 435 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,720 Speaker 1: that doctor's office for how many years? Is that second grade? 436 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:57,600 Speaker 1: You're like eight, I'm thirty three. That's twenty twenty three. 437 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,600 Speaker 1: Four twenty five years was a long time, So there 438 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,160 Speaker 1: is grief from that. Any who. I'm going to wrap 439 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:04,720 Speaker 1: that up because I think I kind of said I 440 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,920 Speaker 1: need to say kind of tipping off for next week, 441 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:11,000 Speaker 1: for need a week to just give some space and 442 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,840 Speaker 1: some time to dedicate to talking about things that have 443 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:19,119 Speaker 1: to do with our body image, with our relationship with food, 444 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:22,440 Speaker 1: and with what we see around us, with diet culture, 445 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:25,800 Speaker 1: with anti diet culture, all of that stuff. So if 446 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,200 Speaker 1: you have any questions, feedback anything, if you have a 447 00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:31,200 Speaker 1: similar story like I do, or if you have any 448 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,840 Speaker 1: tips that you've learned that might be helpful to other 449 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,679 Speaker 1: people when you're going to the doctor, and want to 450 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,239 Speaker 1: kind of, you know, stay off of knowing what your 451 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,320 Speaker 1: weight is. Send those to me. You can email me 452 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:44,320 Speaker 1: Catherine at UNI Therapy podcast dot com. You can follow 453 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:47,320 Speaker 1: me at kat dot defata and at UNI Therapy Podcast. 454 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,280 Speaker 1: And I hope you guys are having the day you 455 00:22:49,320 --> 00:23:01,080 Speaker 1: need to have. I will talk to you guys on Monday.