Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1: Chris Harrison and Lauren z Ema coming to you from
Speaker 1: the home office in Austin, Texas. We just had a
Speaker 1: wonderful weekend away where we went back to LZ's alma mater, Missoo,
Speaker 1: where she went to college or undergrad she got her
Speaker 1: master's degree. And it sparked a very interesting conversation because
Speaker 1: it's been a while since she has been back, and
Speaker 1: while she didn't grow up at Missoo, she grew up
Speaker 1: in Chicago. The subject came up while we were there,
Speaker 1: can you go home again? Can you go back home?
Speaker 1: And there's always that thing, you know, the line you
Speaker 1: can't go home. There's the bon Jovi song about it,
Speaker 1: and you and I kind of got in a discussion.
Speaker 1: I said, stop, we hit the pause button, let's wait
Speaker 1: for the podcast. And it was a very interesting I've
Speaker 1: thought a lot about this.
Speaker 2: I first of all, I don't know that bon Jovi song.
Speaker 2: I think, can you sing it for me?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: No, that you can't go home?
Speaker 2: That's all that, yeah, you know.
Speaker 3: And as you were just saying that, I was thinking
Speaker 3: the wording you chose was interesting, Like I grew up
Speaker 3: in Chicago, not Missouri, but in my brain I went.
Speaker 2: But I did grow up at MISSOI.
Speaker 3: You know, if you really want to talk about growing
Speaker 3: into an adult, and I mean, I still had some
Speaker 3: growing up to do after college, but those college years
Speaker 3: are so formative. I think that's why. You see, there's
Speaker 3: a lot of discussion now about how overly expensive college is.
Speaker 3: And I was reading an article the other day that
Speaker 3: a lot of people are actually at the point where,
Speaker 3: if they can financially afford it, they're kind of sending
Speaker 3: their kids to college. Yes, for the education, but like
Speaker 3: very much in large part for that growth experience. For
Speaker 3: the college experience, which is so is so a thing
Speaker 3: in America. I remember when we were near it, people
Speaker 3: were like, yeah, Americans are really obsessed with like where
Speaker 3: they went to college, and it's part of their identity.
Speaker 1: It is, and it is such not a thing anywhere
Speaker 1: else in the world.
Speaker 3: No, like maybe in England what university, or maybe in
Speaker 3: England it's more what boarding school.
Speaker 2: But school affects us, right.
Speaker 3: And so I think the reason it came up for
Speaker 3: us was that I got surprisingly emotional when we were
Speaker 3: at Missou and I realized it was because I had
Speaker 3: been there a couple times since graduating, and I still
Speaker 3: knew people like I also worked at a startup while
Speaker 3: I was there, so when that startup office was still there,
Speaker 3: I kind of like had friends there even after I'd left.
Speaker 3: But then that office moved, and so this was the
Speaker 3: first time when I went back and I was like,
Speaker 3: I don't have friends here anymore, and I have a
Speaker 3: couple professors I still know, but it really made it
Speaker 3: feel like, Oh, I'm really past this now. And that's
Speaker 3: why we started asking can you go home? Can you
Speaker 3: go back? And I think there's a difference there for
Speaker 3: those two questions for me. But since you were thinking
Speaker 3: about do you have an answer for me, what do
Speaker 3: you think.
Speaker 1: The answer is? And short answer is yes, you can
Speaker 1: go home. You can always go home. No, you cannot
Speaker 1: go back. And I do agree those are two very
Speaker 1: different things. What your experience experiencing is something I have experienced,
Speaker 1: and that is back at school. I went to Oklahoma
Speaker 1: City University, and I had such strong emotional ties, and
Speaker 1: the older you get and the more time passes, those
Speaker 1: ties either disappear or they are cut. Like you said,
Speaker 1: your friends leave, people leave. My college coach passed away,
Speaker 1: So more and more of those ties that bound me
Speaker 1: to that place have disappeared. They don't exist anymore. But
Speaker 1: what still remains, and what I think I saw you
Speaker 1: get emotional about, is there are certain things that won't
Speaker 1: ever leave memories, feelings of growth and love and mistakes.
Speaker 1: And you know, I didn't realize obviously, I knew you
Speaker 1: worked at Newsy. I didn't realize the proximity to Miszoo.
Speaker 1: I mean, I know Colombia is not a big metropolis.
Speaker 1: I knew it wasn't massive, but I didn't realize I'm
Speaker 1: talking one hundred yards down the road. Yeah, everything was
Speaker 1: right cornerstone of Miszoo. I'm like, oh, crap o.
Speaker 3: Right, And I've probably never explained this to you. New
Speaker 3: Zy did this really brilliant thing. I highly recommend it
Speaker 3: if you're starting a business. It was super smart. They
Speaker 3: created a partnership with the university and it was literally
Speaker 3: a class to work at Newsy. So that's how I
Speaker 3: started there, at this news organization called Newsy, and they
Speaker 3: had a partnership with the journalism school. So I worked
Speaker 3: there as a student while I was getting my master's degree,
Speaker 3: and then for a few years in my early twenties,
Speaker 3: Like while it was a startup, I'm just saying, great
Speaker 3: way to get free labor and also great way.
Speaker 2: To spot new talent. Like they would kind of have
Speaker 2: the students come through.
Speaker 1: I found a young Lorden's.
Speaker 2: Email and then they'd be like, oh, this one is
Speaker 2: really good.
Speaker 1: So you heard what I just said about going back home? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you got emotional four or five times, Like tears came
Speaker 1: to your eyes this weekend. Do you agree with what
Speaker 1: I was saying of you? You can't go home. You
Speaker 1: can go home, but you can't go back. Do you
Speaker 1: feel like some of those bonds are gone now, some
Speaker 1: of the ties are gone, but the memory still remain.
Speaker 1: Is that what made you emotional?
Speaker 3: I find myself torn a lot between cherishing memories and
Speaker 3: thinking that a critical characteristic of success and happiness in
Speaker 3: life is not getting stuck in the past.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Like, I think one of the most dangerous things you
Speaker 3: can do is live in the past.
Speaker 2: We have to keep moving forward.
Speaker 1: Good or bad by the way in Greece or in success.
Speaker 3: And it is because of what you just said, I
Speaker 3: think you nailed it. You can't go back like that.
Speaker 3: Time is over and if you try to recreate it,
Speaker 3: I don't think it'll ever even be as good.
Speaker 2: I'm down to like the point of even like I
Speaker 2: don't know.
Speaker 3: I just think when you have a great memory, you
Speaker 3: kind of have to leave it where it is and
Speaker 3: on a high note.
Speaker 2: Like I've thought about, Okay, we'll have.
Speaker 3: Our first wedding anniversary this year, like what I was
Speaker 3: thinking the other day, what will we do?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, we could go back to where
Speaker 2: we went after I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I want to go back to
Speaker 3: the same hotel, Like, let's go somewhere new, let's make
Speaker 3: a new memory. I think that makes you a better person.
Speaker 3: But at the same time, I'm so thankful for those
Speaker 3: memories I had at Missoo, for those all those things
Speaker 3: that shaped me into my present, that gave me my future.
Speaker 3: So I think you can always go home, but I
Speaker 3: don't think you can stay home.
Speaker 1: Yeah, going back, And I agree. And if you look back,
Speaker 1: and I've always thought about this, you know, if you
Speaker 1: think about your own life, the most successful cheerleader, quarterback,
Speaker 1: rock star, those that really were on a high and
Speaker 1: peaked in high school, how often are those the same
Speaker 1: people that will then peak in college and peak in
Speaker 1: life and business later in life. I would argue, I
Speaker 1: have no sed satistics to back this up, because I
Speaker 1: have not done the studies on this. I bet it's
Speaker 1: very rare. I bet it's under fifty percent of those
Speaker 1: that because you often find those that really crushed it
Speaker 1: in high school or college to always kind of go
Speaker 1: back and talk about that when you run into them.
Speaker 1: You know, if I get back with some of my
Speaker 1: college buddies, we all end up kind of sharing the
Speaker 1: same stories over and over again about soccer or whatever.
Speaker 1: And I love rehashing some of the ridiculousness, but at
Speaker 1: some point I want to move on, like what are
Speaker 1: you doing now? What's what's next for you? And you know,
Speaker 1: it's it's a quick visit to the past leads us
Speaker 1: to the future instead of we just live in the
Speaker 1: past and we talk about the past, and you know,
Speaker 1: we keep telling stories about it. And So what I
Speaker 1: found interesting being with you at MISSOI was what made
Speaker 1: you emotional? There were certain times, you know, and there
Speaker 1: were certain realizations too. We were in the Jay School,
Speaker 1: beautiful Journalism school at Missouri. I believe if I'm they
Speaker 1: invented journalism at Missouri. I think that's what I was.
Speaker 1: That's what it was.
Speaker 3: Number one journalism miszoom invented Homecoming and Chris always trites
Speaker 3: me on this id up. Okay, thank you, and the
Speaker 3: Missouri School of Journalism is the first ever journalism school
Speaker 3: and it is the best journalism.
Speaker 1: School next to Oklahoma City University. There was a point
Speaker 1: we spoke at the Journalism School to an amazing group
Speaker 1: of students. But what I found interesting is we were
Speaker 1: walking out afterwards, and you you go, I really remember
Speaker 1: this building kind of grander and bigger, and you're like, wow,
Speaker 1: some of this is not so nice anymore. Well, it's
Speaker 1: just deface gets older, and you know.
Speaker 3: You've gone on and you've seen new things and you've
Speaker 3: done new things, and so your own perspective has really changed.
Speaker 2: Like at first I thought it was maybe my memory's bad,
Speaker 2: and then.
Speaker 3: I realized, well, yes, that, but also I think just
Speaker 3: you know, like you go to a restaurant and food
Speaker 3: thought was great at nineteen, Yeah, I've had some more
Speaker 3: food since then, you know, and you realize it was
Speaker 3: probably great at the time, but you have different levels
Speaker 3: of great now, hopefully, like my hope is that we're
Speaker 3: all always growing and evolving in life. But I also
Speaker 3: started to think about this thing popped up on my
Speaker 3: Instagram the other day and this guy was saying it
Speaker 3: was just a guy. He was saying, you here ten
Speaker 3: things I wish I could tell my younger self, like
Speaker 3: my twenty something self, And one of the things he
Speaker 3: said was that he would tell that younger self travel
Speaker 3: a lot in your twenties, but settle down somewhere in
Speaker 3: your thirties. And he was talking about the importance of
Speaker 3: like creating a community, creating a you.
Speaker 2: Know, of friends, and that is so healthy and.
Speaker 1: Important for us start growing some roots.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then I started to think, well, what if
Speaker 3: you never left, you know, like a worse sy you
Speaker 3: can't go home. And you're maybe talking about people who
Speaker 3: like peaked in high school. I think moving around, traveling
Speaker 3: really helps you grow as a person.
Speaker 2: But then I also see people who.
Speaker 3: Like live where they grew up and they have such
Speaker 3: a strong sense of community, and I think.
Speaker 2: That's so beautiful.
Speaker 3: I guess I would recommend if you're going to end
Speaker 3: up where you came from, make sure you go see
Speaker 3: the world a little bit first.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's interesting, an interesting take about getting out seeing
Speaker 1: the world.
Speaker 3: Well, like you and I we talk about how on
Speaker 3: our very first date, Yeah, we talked about moving to
Speaker 3: Texas one day and then at that date, at that conversation,
Speaker 3: we were thinking about Dallas, and I was like, that's
Speaker 3: great because I have some best friends in Dallas and
Speaker 3: you were from Dallas.
Speaker 2: We didn't end up doing that. We ended up in Austin.
Speaker 3: How different do you think our lives would be if
Speaker 3: we'd been back in Dallas, because I feel like part
Speaker 3: of the reason you didn't want to go back was
Speaker 3: because that was where you came from.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it would have been a little bit
Speaker 1: of a revisit, and I think it would have stunted
Speaker 1: the growth a little bit. My mom has a line
Speaker 1: she always uses, and she always says, and I really
Speaker 1: like it, you grow roots where you're planted, and.
Speaker 2: Meaning wherever where you're planting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, where you go, you'll grow roots. It's like you
Speaker 1: and you have to be patient, you know. I think
Speaker 1: some people will, you know, move from LA to Austin
Speaker 1: or Austin to wherever LA, and you know it's like,
Speaker 1: oh it's right away. If it's not perfect, or if
Speaker 1: it's not whatever. It's kind of like the college freshman
Speaker 1: syndrome of like I'm not fitting in after day one.
Speaker 1: It's like, well, you have you have to not only
Speaker 1: be planted, but you got to give yourself a little
Speaker 1: time to grow some roots. Meet people, meet neighbors, meet friends,
Speaker 1: get up to the local supermarket and realize where you're
Speaker 1: shopping at. Get comfortable. And so I think that college
Speaker 1: was a place where we all went and we finally
Speaker 1: grew those roots, and we were at a very impressionable age,
Speaker 1: at that age where things are so magnified in our lives.
Speaker 1: So I feel like those roots are stronger. We remember
Speaker 1: them differently than we do roots as we're adults. There's
Speaker 1: something about that, because those roots really are sensitive, strong well.
Speaker 3: I think, And this was kind of a piece of
Speaker 3: advice we gave to the class and we spoke to them.
Speaker 3: I said to them, I wish someone had told me
Speaker 3: your twenties are big ups and downs times once you
Speaker 3: graduate from college. I think everybody talks about like, sure,
Speaker 3: in hindsight, we're all like our twenties are amazing, But
Speaker 3: if I really think about my twenties, I had some
Speaker 3: big highs and some big lows, because, like I think
Speaker 3: part of the reason you form so much in college
Speaker 3: is you're in this insulated environment, this bubble. Everybody is
Speaker 3: your age. It literally gives you, statistically such a great
Speaker 3: opportunity to make a ton of friends. Yeah, No one
Speaker 3: told me that then when I went and got into
Speaker 3: my twenties, that like, oh, you go start your job
Speaker 3: and there's like maybe one other person your.
Speaker 2: Age, and it's an extreme change.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think you have some moments of like
Speaker 3: some depression or some sadness because all of a sudden,
Speaker 3: for the first time in your life, your environment isn't
Speaker 3: set up for you. You aren't around other people your
Speaker 3: age all the time, And so I just think people
Speaker 3: should be a bit more prepared for that, also prepared that, Like,
Speaker 3: your freshman year of college is not going to be
Speaker 3: the best one, and it shouldn't be. But your freshman
Speaker 3: year is a time of transition. We told Taylor this,
Speaker 3: Like you're getting into a new place, you have to
Speaker 3: figure everything out again. You're kind of at the bottom
Speaker 3: of the barrel again. You're not the big dog on
Speaker 3: campus like you were senior year of high school. And
Speaker 3: that freshman year can be hard and then when you graduate,
Speaker 3: that's another change. In those early twenty something years can
Speaker 3: be hard, but yeah, it's very formative.
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, our conversation began
Speaker 1: as we were walking down one of the main streets
Speaker 1: there at Missoo in Columbia. You know, we went to
Speaker 1: a bunch of Lauren's old haunts, which are amazing. I'm
Speaker 1: going to give a massive shout out to Shakespeare's Pizza, Sparky's,
Speaker 1: Booch's Burger, this old billiards hall that was around since
Speaker 1: late eighteen eighty four. It is and it looks like
Speaker 1: it in the best of ways though. It's just classic
Speaker 1: a place that it could be a scene or a
Speaker 1: place a movie should be shot there because you just
Speaker 1: you look like maybe the sting or color of money
Speaker 1: would be shot there. Just a good lad you loved.
Speaker 1: It's a great college town. It's a great college town.
Speaker 1: And I've been to several college towns because you know,
Speaker 1: I had the the benefit of doing that when I
Speaker 1: was a sportscaster because I was covering OU and so
Speaker 1: I traveled around the Big twelve and went to a
Speaker 1: bunch of those, even to Columbia, Missouri back in the
Speaker 1: day I don't remember them as it was a long
Speaker 1: time ago, but going back now is really fun. And
Speaker 1: you and I dabbled. We just you know, we put
Speaker 1: our toe in there and went to Harpo's and went
Speaker 1: to some of these places like Willy's and had a
Speaker 1: drink with the kids and just got a taste of
Speaker 1: it before we went home.
Speaker 3: And they were so great. The biggest shout out, I
Speaker 3: mean the people. I'm so proud to be from the Midwest.
Speaker 3: I grew up in Chicago, but my mom's whole family
Speaker 3: is Missouri, from the Boothill of Missouri, and they moved
Speaker 3: to Chicago to find work, so it was like I
Speaker 3: grew up in Chicago, but my my grandparents, everybody was
Speaker 3: still very Missouri and so they loved when I went
Speaker 3: to school at Missoo, it was like me going back
Speaker 3: to my family's origin story. But the people are so great.
Speaker 3: The kids were so welcoming and loving. All the Miszoo
Speaker 3: kids were so sweet and respectful and just amazing.
Speaker 2: I'm so glad they all said hi. But yeah, I
Speaker 2: think you.
Speaker 3: Know, well, since you mentioned homecoming where and it was
Speaker 3: invented int Miszoo, I think the conclusion I arrived at
Speaker 3: was like traditions like that are actually so important and
Speaker 3: beautiful because you realize, like as I was walking around
Speaker 3: and realizing, oh, I don't know anybody here anymore. The
Speaker 3: idea of homecoming, Like, I think if I was going
Speaker 3: to go back to Missoo again, I would go for
Speaker 3: homecoming and I would organize it with my friends because
Speaker 3: it's really about the people. Like you, you can always
Speaker 3: go home because home is where the heart is. Home
Speaker 3: is where the people that you love. Our home is
Speaker 3: about the people in that house, not the house itself.
Speaker 3: And that's what I was missing, and that is I
Speaker 3: think the thing of like, you can't go back to
Speaker 3: that time where that people were if the people aren't there.
Speaker 3: That's what the difference is.
Speaker 1: It is the fact that you left a piece of
Speaker 1: your heart there, that you put your heart into it.
Speaker 1: We went to the Theta House. Lauren was a Theda
Speaker 1: at Missou and so we went to the Theta House
Speaker 1: were walking around and I don't know if you felt
Speaker 1: like this, I felt that like this when I went
Speaker 1: back to the Kapasig house. I don't want to be there.
Speaker 1: I don't want to live there again. The thought of
Speaker 1: it actually disgust me. Makes me not just.
Speaker 2: Right that fraternity house.
Speaker 1: Right when I'm walking around that THETA house and I'm
Speaker 1: looking at these old composite pictures, you know, from the
Speaker 1: fifties and the sixties, and then there's Sheryl Crowe's class,
Speaker 1: and then there's Lauren Ziema's class, and I'm looking at
Speaker 1: all these girls who were sisters and most of many
Speaker 1: of them were friends and loved each other. They're long gone,
Speaker 1: they're not in that house anymore, but they are the
Speaker 1: reason that house stands, and the reason it's so strong
Speaker 1: is because of those that came before you. And you
Speaker 1: don't have a bona fide connection to them. You don't
Speaker 1: talk to them, you probably don't even know them, you'll
Speaker 1: never get to know them. But the fact that Lauren
Speaker 1: z Emo was in those halls at one time makes
Speaker 1: it that much better, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: It's the importance of tradition, right, and of remembering our history.
Speaker 3: Like I think that's what can make you feel not lonely,
Speaker 3: that's what can make a house come alive. Like, yeah,
Speaker 3: when I lived there, we looked at the composite pictures
Speaker 3: and we were like, gosh, this is so cool like
Speaker 3: they were, you know, and and they keep different sort
Speaker 3: of trophies or like platters or artifacts really on the
Speaker 3: shelves in the house, and you have respect for that.
Speaker 3: And it also makes you feel not alone. And I
Speaker 3: think it's why, like institutions and traditions are so important.
Speaker 3: And now that chapter is really over, I can't go back,
Speaker 3: but I can always go home, and I would want
Speaker 3: to just go home with my friends. Like I homecoming
Speaker 3: in the zoo is really big, and I've actually never
Speaker 3: been back for a homecoming, and so now I kind
Speaker 3: of feel like, oh, I'm I'm at that place now
Speaker 3: where I would I would just go back in this
Speaker 3: one way, and that would be the right way to
Speaker 3: do it.
Speaker 1: Well, you're home now here in Austin, Texas, and we're
Speaker 1: growing roots.
Speaker 3: We have definitely grown roots and been We've watered them
Speaker 3: with tequila and.
Speaker 1: We have good wine. But I'll say this, I'm grateful
Speaker 1: to you. And it just it's always fun when you
Speaker 1: get to see another chapter of someone you love. And
Speaker 1: I love Lauren dearly, but and I've heard many stories
Speaker 1: and I've met many of her soorty sisters who are
Speaker 1: a huge part of our life. I'm a proud DATA
Speaker 1: husband and THETA dad now, but seeing that side of you,
Speaker 1: you getting emotional, meeting one of your former professors and
Speaker 1: speaking at the Jay School and just walking around campus
Speaker 1: and going to the THEATA House and seeing how excited
Speaker 1: people were that you were back so much pride, and
Speaker 1: I just loved it, and so huge shout out to Columbia,
Speaker 1: Missouri and Missoo in general. We did the whole purposes.
Speaker 1: My son was playing lacrosse there, so TCU was playing
Speaker 1: and TCU did win. But it was really fun because
Speaker 1: some people heard we were in town and came out
Speaker 1: in their Missoo gear just to say hi to us,
Speaker 1: which was great at the game, and some of the
Speaker 1: parents whose kids were playing, which ironically was their son
Speaker 1: was an attack man. Our son Joshua was guarding him.
Speaker 1: But we had this There was zero rivalry. It was
Speaker 1: just we were talking and you were talking, Missoo, and
Speaker 1: I just loved every moment of being there with you.
Speaker 1: And I got to go home with you for a second.
Speaker 1: And I know I can't go back because I was
Speaker 1: never a part of it to begin with, but I
Speaker 1: felt like I got to go home and see a
Speaker 1: piece of you, and that meant a lot to me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm glad you said that, because I was going
Speaker 3: to say it really sunk into me this weekend.
Speaker 2: I mean, you always.
Speaker 3: Like you love hearing about you know, my childhood, and
Speaker 3: you are close with my family. But that was the
Speaker 3: first time, like I had been to OCU for you,
Speaker 3: like when we first started dating. Actually, so you had
Speaker 3: never really like seen you hadn't been a missy. You'd
Speaker 3: seen these roots of mine for the first time. It
Speaker 3: is such a green flag in a relationship when someone
Speaker 3: you're dating or with cares about where you came from,
Speaker 3: when they care about your stories, where they want to
Speaker 3: hear about you, and that I was reminded of that
Speaker 3: this weekend. I loved how supportive you were and how
Speaker 3: you were like filming me as I was walking here
Speaker 3: on the Theta house. It's a tell in a relationship
Speaker 3: for anybody who's starting to get serious with somebody, do
Speaker 3: they want to hear about your home?
Speaker 1: So I will end this podcast the only way I
Speaker 1: know how m I Z z oh you because we
Speaker 1: have a lot more to talk about. Thanks for listening.
Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at the most Dramatic pod ever,
Speaker 1: and make sure to write us a review and leave
Speaker 1: us five stars. I'll talk to see next time.