Speaker 1: Hi, guys, Welcome to another episode of Diamonds in the Rough.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. I'm Erica Jane.
Speaker 1: And I'm Teddy Mellencamp and the next two episodes should
Speaker 1: be pretty fun because we are getting roasted by a I.
Speaker 2: This is an AI roast, so.
Speaker 1: Our producer said right before we started. Don't neither of
Speaker 1: you get offended?
Speaker 2: Right? What does that even mean?
Speaker 1: What does that even mean? I'm offended by even him
Speaker 1: saying that.
Speaker 2: Well, I was just about to ask you. Do you
Speaker 2: still get offended?
Speaker 1: It depends on what they say. I don't know. You're
Speaker 1: gonna have to ask me you you're getting roasted first.
Speaker 2: Feel I'm fine. I volunteered to go first for this experiment.
Speaker 2: I can only imagine.
Speaker 1: Okay, but first time they did a bio for you,
Speaker 1: would you like me to do a dramatic read?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, this is from AI, not from Teddy emailingcamp.
Speaker 2: So no, this is a I, right, this is all
Speaker 2: AI okay.
Speaker 1: Bio for Erica Jane. Erica Jane is the pop star
Speaker 1: alter ego of Erica Girardi because one personality with no
Speaker 1: hit singles just wasn't enough. Pop star Alleged legal liability
Speaker 1: human bedazzler the nerve. Erica Jane is what happens when
Speaker 1: you give a stripper a Bravo contract and a black
Speaker 1: amex with no credit limit and zero shame. Why don't
Speaker 1: have to read it?
Speaker 2: Erica's no, it's no, it's fine. We hold on. We
Speaker 2: asked for this, We asked, we we actually asked.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be the next housewife she already is. Oh listen,
Speaker 1: people are all going to all the housewives are going
Speaker 1: to use AI for their shade.
Speaker 2: Now that's a really good idea instead of you're using
Speaker 2: me sometimes.
Speaker 1: You know, she got one line.
Speaker 2: I called one time some time because I needed some facts.
Speaker 1: But now you're not going to need to do that,
Speaker 1: because you're gonna just go on AI. She burst onto
Speaker 1: the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills like a disco ball
Speaker 1: with a.
Speaker 2: Superior superiority complex.
Speaker 1: I got to read it for me.
Speaker 2: No, it's okay.
Speaker 1: Serving up high glam looks and low emotion reads, not
Speaker 1: low emotion reads. Erica is proof that you can spend
Speaker 1: forty thousand a month on glam and still not crack
Speaker 1: the Billboard Top one hundred. She's been grinding in the
Speaker 1: music biz longer than some housewives have had botox. Yet
Speaker 1: the most ironic thing she's released is a line about
Speaker 1: being expensive, which ironically describes her team.
Speaker 2: Not her talent. Oh my goodness, if I can sit
Speaker 2: here and take this, you better don't. Don't. Don't get upset.
Speaker 1: I'm not taking it for you. I think I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take myself better.
Speaker 2: Don't worry about that.
Speaker 1: Behind the scenes, she's like a max Store and Resentment
Speaker 1: had a baby. She calls herself a performance artist, but
Speaker 1: watching Erica's Jane perform is like watching someone yell at
Speaker 1: a strobe light for attention. At this point, her entire
Speaker 1: brand is Rhyanstone delusion with a side of aloofness and
Speaker 1: a heavy pore of hairspray. Her aesthetics says Vegas Residency,
Speaker 1: but her energy says Mall opening. But is it Mall
Speaker 1: of America?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Well, malls were big. You know, walls we're big.
Speaker 1: Listen. Just because there's not malls anymore doesn't mean they're
Speaker 1: not great.
Speaker 2: I love them all.
Speaker 1: I loved them all. I loved a Jack Rabbit photo booth.
Speaker 1: Do you remember those where you'd go in?
Speaker 2: I mean I remember photo booths. I don't know what
Speaker 2: a Jack Rabbit photo booth.
Speaker 1: Well, Jack Rabbit was done in an hour. You'd go
Speaker 1: in and you'd sit there with your friends and you'd
Speaker 1: like do little posts.
Speaker 2: I mean, like glamour shots. Brilliant.
Speaker 1: My glamour shots you did. Oh, I can find them,
Speaker 1: my sisters, you need to put them up. The only
Speaker 1: problem my glamour shots is everyone's gonna be like Tenny
Speaker 1: got a nose job, which is the one thing I
Speaker 1: haven't done. Did you.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say I.
Speaker 1: Didn't. But my glamour shots, the way they contoured my face,
Speaker 1: I just love it. Ten When I think the glamour shots,
Speaker 1: I look between ten and fourteen, I couldn't tell you
Speaker 1: for sure. I did them with my sister and we
Speaker 1: both look ridiculous. No, but Jack Rabbit, you just stood
Speaker 1: there and kind of leaned over each other, and you're
Speaker 1: in this black box.
Speaker 2: I don't think we had that.
Speaker 1: Would you like to go through some of your tag.
Speaker 2: No, you read them for me, your taglines, you go.
Speaker 1: AI recommended for you. Let's go through one at a time.
Speaker 1: All right. I'm not just a pretty mess. I'm the
Speaker 1: whole disaster.
Speaker 2: Not bad.
Speaker 1: I gotta say they should have done petty mess. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I like Petty too.
Speaker 1: Pett You know my my reading it wrong actually was
Speaker 1: better than AI. So what do you have to say?
Speaker 1: So that?
Speaker 2: There you go?
Speaker 1: Now we're fighting with AI. I built a brand on
Speaker 1: being cold, fake, and fabulous. Two out of three are
Speaker 1: still holding up. Which ones are those?
Speaker 2: Probably cold and fabulous fabulous? Yeah, probably called them fabulous,
Speaker 2: Cold and fabulous.
Speaker 1: I don't show emotion because botox won't let me, and
Speaker 1: neither will make ego. That one wasn't that good. We
Speaker 1: all get botox. I think tagline should be directed at
Speaker 1: your own personality or whatever. This at what housewife doesn't
Speaker 1: get botox?
Speaker 2: I think, well this is true. I mean everybody gets
Speaker 2: botox at this point.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean except for me at this point?
Speaker 2: Where so does my ego? My ego gets botox?
Speaker 1: Listen, my ego needs botox, feel numbness. My friendships are
Speaker 1: like my vocals, heavily produced and mostly fake.
Speaker 2: I don't I don't go with that. You can't. You
Speaker 2: got to sing live on Broadway? Yeah, you gotta sing.
Speaker 1: Live like That's not I'm sorry, but I mean that's ay.
Speaker 1: I I thought.
Speaker 2: You would be a little bit more, Oh girl, I
Speaker 2: thought it was gonna be worse. I thought we're getting off.
Speaker 2: I thought I was getting on.
Speaker 1: No, I thought that's what I thought.
Speaker 2: I thought.
Speaker 1: I thought it was gonna be worse. Maybe AI hasn't
Speaker 1: dug deep enough into the Housewives franchise to fully nail it.
Speaker 1: I didn't lose touch with reality. I never followed it back.
Speaker 2: Well, I'll be honest with you. This is the one
Speaker 2: thing I have to say about reality. Who wants to
Speaker 2: live in reality? Where I wanted to live in reality?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: Instagram feed go.
Speaker 1: Her feed is like a mood board curated by a
Speaker 1: Sarvowsky Crystal with a god complex kind of like it
Speaker 1: hashtag god complex. It's ninety percent over filtered, thirst traps,
Speaker 1: ten percent captions that read, she let chat GPT in
Speaker 1: a bottle of Xanax write them, Oh.
Speaker 2: So jack GBT is like roasting itself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Chat GPT? Are you giving yourself the business?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: It's giving editorial for no publication. I love that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Relap Erica's Instagram is what happens when someone says just
Speaker 1: to act fear and never follows up with direction. What
Speaker 1: every post screams. I paid a stylist, a photographer, a
Speaker 1: lighting tech and still somehow forgot to bring a personality.
Speaker 1: Her posts often promote her music, which is about as
Speaker 1: relevant as a MySpace profile in twenty twenty five. It's
Speaker 1: the kind of pop that makes you question your life
Speaker 1: choices and hers that is exactly the point. We want
Speaker 1: to question our life choices.
Speaker 2: Yeah, nobody's arguing with that.
Speaker 1: And also, just for the record, it's not all of
Speaker 1: those people, right they said that it's every picture you
Speaker 1: do as a photographer. I'm like, it's spelled lai Al.
Speaker 2: You'd be surprised what you could do with one person.
Speaker 1: You know what mine is spelled Matt.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so everybody just because chat gpt needs all this
Speaker 1: maintenance to keep up a good post. But I want
Speaker 1: to know if chat pt chat gpt had an Instagram likes,
Speaker 1: what they get probably a lot, because they'd give them
Speaker 1: self likes. They'd be like LVP of.
Speaker 2: Who, by the way, was very rude to our friends
Speaker 2: so much behind.
Speaker 1: I know, why was she so rude? Because she can't
Speaker 1: be but can't, but can't you just get over it?
Speaker 1: And this is something that I realized. There was a
Speaker 1: really rude comment and then Kyle responded to it. Which
Speaker 1: I thought it was hilarious, but then it was gone.
Speaker 1: The comment was gone. Listen, if I'm going to write
Speaker 1: a comment, don't delete it for me. I'll delete it myself.
Speaker 2: Well, I know somebody else who's getting ready to let
Speaker 2: somebody have it.
Speaker 1: Oh, is the one doing motivational posts about being single
Speaker 1: on the ground? Because I noticed that, the one who.
Speaker 2: Five Year Plan, the one back on the paper.
Speaker 1: Fine, anyways, I hope you guys saw it, because I
Speaker 1: saw myself doing a couple of those back when I
Speaker 1: was in the rough days too, where you were starts singles,
Speaker 1: singling you out and sending you.
Speaker 2: Like motivational saying anything like this, We're not here. I'm
Speaker 2: not having a nervous breakdown. I can recognize the nervous breakdown.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, Five Year Plan, Year one debuts a new
Speaker 1: single called Me Myself and Narcissism available nowhere over narcissism.
Speaker 1: We need a new.
Speaker 2: Word, me myself a narcissism. I'm not a narcissist though, No, No,
Speaker 2: I'm not. I have narcis narcissistic traits.
Speaker 1: Who doesn't if you're.
Speaker 2: People that perform. But I'm not a narcissist. I haven't
Speaker 2: met one, though.
Speaker 1: We've met a couple. Well, nice, Do you think I'm
Speaker 1: a narcissist? No?
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: What do you think my issues are?
Speaker 2: I think your's a more childhood related. You're not you're
Speaker 2: you're you're hurt? Do you not a narcissist?
Speaker 1: Do you think? What would you what would you self
Speaker 1: diagnose yourself with.
Speaker 2: Myself?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Fear, fear, fear, So some of your not the
Speaker 1: best behaviors come from fear. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Mine's sphere based, which I think.
Speaker 1: Both of ours is fear based, and there may be
Speaker 1: a touch of hurt that we don't want to fully.
Speaker 2: Hurt, yes as well. But fear in well, when fear
Speaker 2: comes out, it's hurt and anger.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Fear whether it's right, fear whether it's her best,
Speaker 1: or fear whether it's succeeding, or fear whether it's somebody
Speaker 1: hurting you or letting.
Speaker 2: Somebody is hurting you or somebody is going to hurt you. Like,
Speaker 2: the fear of someone hurting you is where mine comes from.
Speaker 1: And the fear of not having control.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's that's that's a that's when I act out,
Speaker 2: that's where it's coming from.
Speaker 1: Fear, Okay, year two lands, a Vegas residency and a
Speaker 1: casino hallway between a subway and a spirit Halloween.
Speaker 2: Extensive the clearance story I wish listen, that would make
Speaker 2: you a lot of money. Yeah, the clearance to her?
Speaker 1: No, not the clearance to her. If your Vegas residency
Speaker 1: had some sort of spirit holidays.
Speaker 2: Yeah, outfits, Oh yeah, but I don't know if it
Speaker 2: spirit Halloween, party city, party city, party.
Speaker 1: The party city right or down the street closed down?
Speaker 2: And it's such fun to go in those home goods.
Speaker 1: What Yeah, I don't want to upset you, okay. Year
Speaker 1: three releases of perfume called Detached Notes of Hairspray and
Speaker 1: Frozen Contempt.
Speaker 2: I like this, but my contempt is not frozen my contempt. Listen.
Speaker 2: I got some contempt and it ain't frozen.
Speaker 1: Baby. Let me tell you listen here. Year four reinvents
Speaker 1: herself against again, this time as a motivational speaker for robots,
Speaker 1: for robots who want to feel.
Speaker 2: Like chut GBT.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, pretty much. Do you think chut GPT hasn't
Speaker 1: any feelings?
Speaker 2: No? I think that it amasses a whole bunch of
Speaker 2: data and spits it back out. So what it's doing
Speaker 2: is it's scouring the internet, pulling data and then spitting
Speaker 2: it back out.
Speaker 1: He should I be offended that Cruise uses chat GPT
Speaker 1: on any of his texts to me that are loving.
Speaker 2: Well, you should know because you need to worry about
Speaker 2: Cruise using chat GPT on his schoolwork.
Speaker 1: But won't they catch him if he does that? I'm
Speaker 1: sure they've worn them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that doesn't mean anything. But you can if
Speaker 2: you want to take anything that they write and ask
Speaker 2: put it in chat gept and ask did you create this?
Speaker 1: Did you create this? And is this accurate? Does chat
Speaker 1: gpt make mistakes?
Speaker 2: Yes? I think that There was an article today that
Speaker 2: said it as chat gpt grows, it's getting dumber that
Speaker 2: it's making more mistakes.
Speaker 1: So it's the complete opposite of me.
Speaker 2: Right, you're getting better, it's getting dummer.
Speaker 1: Well, this one has a little trademark on it year five,
Speaker 1: so we're moving up. Launch is a lifestyle brand. Mess
Speaker 1: Essentials includes eye glitter, emotional distance, and clip on banks.
Speaker 2: For the reference, I've never worn clip on banks for
Speaker 2: the record. For the record, Oh what did I say?
Speaker 1: For the resistance turning into me?
Speaker 2: Yes, you're giving me your your craziness okay, go over
Speaker 2: all thoughts.
Speaker 1: Erica Jane is a master class and reinvention. She is
Speaker 1: the human version of a warning label on a ryanstone
Speaker 1: covered curling iron, shiny, dramatic, and a little bit dangerous,
Speaker 1: but only to herself. She's not here to be relatable.
Speaker 1: She's here to remind you that wealth can buy glam,
Speaker 1: but it can't buy charm off. She's the final boss
Speaker 1: of disengagement, the ice sculpture melting under studio lights, a performer,
Speaker 1: a persona, and a walking sours trap for relevance. You
Speaker 1: know what, I actually like that?
Speaker 2: That's actually nice. I don't really, I just hate any
Speaker 2: of I don't. I don't hate any of it because
Speaker 2: here's the first trap hot. Well, here's the other thing too.
Speaker 2: Everything that chat GPT, clearly, I mean it's chat GPT.
Speaker 2: Everything that Ai told me is already things have been said, right, yeah,
Speaker 2: and it's not that bad.
Speaker 1: It's not that bad, not that bad, which leads me
Speaker 1: to my narcissistic self that now, all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: I'm already worried about mine for the next episode, because
Speaker 1: I feel like mine's going to be that bad.
Speaker 2: No, I don't think so, because I just looked at yours.
Speaker 2: It's really not this is Let me ask you this.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say this for myself. This isn't that bad.
Speaker 2: I also think that I think everybody should do this.
Speaker 1: I have a question for you. What do you think
Speaker 1: the worst thing somebody could say to you us?
Speaker 2: I think the most hurtful thing is that.
Speaker 1: If you say boring, we're breaking up as friends. No.
Speaker 2: I was going to think about my personal problems, like
Speaker 2: my legal stuff like that. That's where I get I
Speaker 2: get bent out of shape. What would be the most
Speaker 2: hurtful thing about my God personally?
Speaker 1: Hold on? Can I have a pin in a paper
Speaker 1: so I can write this down. I'm actually kidding. I
Speaker 1: just meant if we ever got in a fight you.
Speaker 2: No, I'm trying to think of, like what what? Well,
Speaker 2: I've had everything said to me. I know I'm not fake.
Speaker 2: I know I'm not a bad friend. I know that
Speaker 2: I'm different and I show my friendship differently. I think
Speaker 2: that's the worst thing, you know. I don't mind that
Speaker 2: people say I'm a little bit cold because I am
Speaker 2: a bit of a loner, and I know that about myself.
Speaker 2: I take time to warm up. I'm trying to think
Speaker 2: of what's the worst thing you could say to me?
Speaker 2: The fake thing I I don't really care about well,
Speaker 2: because all.
Speaker 1: Of us are a little bit fake from time to time,
Speaker 1: but also all of us are ourselves, so that no
Speaker 1: matter what if even yes, do I have yeah, I
Speaker 1: have fake care on right now, so you I could
Speaker 1: be considered fake.
Speaker 2: But I have breast implants and that's considered fake. I've
Speaker 2: you know, I have a nose job that's considered fake.
Speaker 2: I have a lot I have, you know, clip an
Speaker 2: extent right now.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about aesthetics or are we talking about.
Speaker 2: Person Are you talking about your personality?
Speaker 1: Like all of them, like chat cheept, we need you
Speaker 1: to really break it down, break us. You didn't make it.
Speaker 2: I'm cool with it.
Speaker 1: We're fine.
Speaker 2: I mean, look, I'm not a pretty mess. Like the
Speaker 2: whole disaster. Like, yeah, last few years have been a disaster.
Speaker 1: I wonder what chat gpt would have had to say
Speaker 1: three years ago.
Speaker 2: Uh, probably a lot worse.
Speaker 1: No, hold on, I'm thinking, then, when did this happen?
Speaker 1: When did all the shit hit the.
Speaker 2: Like five years ago? Okay, coming up on five.
Speaker 1: What's a one question you have for chat GPT who
Speaker 1: wrote this no, this came out of my own brain.
Speaker 2: When is what is Erica Jane's best quality?
Speaker 1: Oh, you want to complimentary?
Speaker 2: Well, I want the antithesis. If this is the bad,
Speaker 2: what's the best? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I get it. Ah, Erica Jane's best.
Speaker 2: Quality, according to chat GPT, is her unapologetic confidence.
Speaker 1: Get it, Erica Jane.
Speaker 2: Well, I think that that's a good thing. You have
Speaker 2: to be confident, and yes, you have to be a
Speaker 2: little cold, and you know, a bit of a disaster.
Speaker 2: I take that. I lose touch with reality. Nobody wants
Speaker 2: to who wants to live real? Nobody wants that. And
Speaker 2: you know, but I think that I'm not so mad
Speaker 2: at chat GPT here.
Speaker 1: Yeah I thought.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think it's okay.
Speaker 1: I don't If chat GPT is gonna say shitty things,
Speaker 1: then they may as well say positive things. This is
Speaker 1: where chat GPT has me a little bit confused. The
Speaker 1: second line, which I of course won't remember exactly what
Speaker 1: it was, is pretty much calling you not fake.
Speaker 2: Well, it's saying Erica, whether she's on stage on the
Speaker 2: Real Housewives at Beverly Hills or whatever, is unflinching and
Speaker 2: who she is.
Speaker 1: But then so is she fake? Or is she unflinching?
Speaker 1: And who she It depends who you ask. Do you
Speaker 1: think there's different robots that do these?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think like it's the different prompts that you ask.
Speaker 2: So if you say what's the worst about Erica Jane,
Speaker 2: you get this, and then if you say what's the best,
Speaker 2: you get what we just told you. And I think
Speaker 2: that the truth is somewhere in the middle for everybody.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's ask it. I want to ask a couple
Speaker 1: more things.
Speaker 2: Let's ask.
Speaker 1: Let's ask.
Speaker 2: By the way, you should all do this to yourself,
Speaker 2: especially if you're in the public, because it's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I can get behind some of this.
Speaker 1: What is it that? What's Erica Jane's best physical feature?
Speaker 2: Thank you, Titty, You're welcome.
Speaker 1: We get you think it is.
Speaker 2: I think it's my legs.
Speaker 1: I think it's your eyes.
Speaker 2: Okay, bone strepones, not the bone, get it?
Speaker 1: That means everything?
Speaker 2: Oh, there's a caveat, honorable mention to my legs.
Speaker 1: I think your eyes are so bright and sho so
Speaker 1: like out the like that's the first thing I know.
Speaker 1: I mean, granted, you have freaking sexy ass legs on you.
Speaker 2: I didn't think you were.
Speaker 1: But your eyes, like I've never they're so bright blue?
Speaker 1: How could somebody not pick that? Chat GPT.
Speaker 2: You know, it's funny. I always think that my eyes
Speaker 2: are green, but because everyone in my family has bright
Speaker 2: crystal blue eyes and I was the one that had
Speaker 2: like a darker blue eye, my eyes were green.
Speaker 1: But I want you to know they don't look dark
Speaker 1: right now? Oh cool? I mean I'm also hard.
Speaker 2: Of seeing your blue eyed too, but I'm a darker blue.
Speaker 1: Yours are light blue, stunning. Is there any other questions
Speaker 1: you'd like to ask chat chat GPT.
Speaker 2: Wait a second, let's be smart here. It's all in
Speaker 2: how you ask these questions chat GPT.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean, anything else you want to ask? No?
Speaker 2: I think chat GPT got a good, a good overall
Speaker 2: a max store and resentment had a baby to find
Speaker 2: Resentment are mad at something like? When you're resentment is resentment?
Speaker 2: When you're irrita, when you're yeah you harbored ill will,
Speaker 2: yeah you harbor anger?
Speaker 1: I think, But I think that actually, once you're apologized to,
Speaker 1: you move on quite quickly. I'm not kissing your ass,
Speaker 1: but I do. But if somebody doesn't apologize to you, yeah,
Speaker 1: you may harbor it forever. But if somebody says like, hey,
Speaker 1: I didn't mean to do that or I'm sorry, and
Speaker 1: I go, yeah, okay, cool, oh yeah, then and then
Speaker 1: you actually do move on, I don't know. You don't.
Speaker 2: You have harder time. You have a harder time moving on.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: I am always been one of those people like, if
Speaker 2: I think that your apology is sincere, fine, let's move on.
Speaker 2: I don't know that I want to get stuck in
Speaker 2: that loop.
Speaker 1: No, it's boundary.
Speaker 2: And then if I don't think your apology is sincere,
Speaker 2: you'll show it to me really quickly. So I think
Speaker 2: that that's like.
Speaker 1: A good thing. My apology was sincere, and I showed it,
Speaker 1: and why we're sitting here today.
Speaker 2: That's right. But it wasn't your apology. It was my
Speaker 2: apology to you too. But I do think that that
Speaker 2: is something that's really true about friendship, is that you
Speaker 2: must apologize and really mean it and then show.
Speaker 1: It that's true. And she does all those things you
Speaker 1: did too. We didn't know this was going to end
Speaker 1: in a love fast All right, you're next. We have
Speaker 1: a new episode. So that was one, all right, So
Speaker 1: thanks for tuning in to Erica's chat GPT roast motherfucker.
Speaker 1: Next week, we will chat GPT roast meh. And we
Speaker 1: all know I'm the sensitive of the truth.
Speaker 2: That hearted, not that cold hearted resentment contempt, cold hearted
Speaker 2: snake frozen contempt. My contempt is not frozen.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. All right, so we'll talk to you
Speaker 1: guys next week.