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Speaker 1: This week at the Parlor Live Comedy Club from Friday

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Speaker 1: John Witherspoon August seventh through the ninth. Tickets are available

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Speaker 1: at Parlor Live dot com or call four two five

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Speaker 1: two eight nine seven thousand on the twenties. Hello, Hi, man,

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Speaker 1: I speak to Richard. Yeah, this is him. Hi Richard,

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Speaker 1: this is Mark Munson. I'm calling from church. Do you

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Speaker 1: have a second. Yeah? How are you today? I'm good.

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Speaker 1: I'm really looking at How are you doing? I'm pretty good?

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Speaker 1: Thank you for asking. So I'm calling because you had

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Speaker 1: your daughter baptized here last week. Yeah, my wife and

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Speaker 1: I thought it was a great service. I wanted to

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Speaker 1: thank you. Guys. Wonderful pastor does a wonderful job, doesn't he? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: really does well. Sort of my bone headed mistake, but

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Speaker 1: I completely forgot to get payment from you. Sorry, Uh,

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Speaker 1: what do you mean? You didn't think the baptism was

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Speaker 1: a free service, did you? Actually? I did think it

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Speaker 1: was free. Nobody told me anything about paying for that.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, you owe us five hundred dollars. You're churching

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Speaker 1: five hundred dollars for baptism. Yes, and that's actually quite

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Speaker 1: a deal. In some churches it can be upwards of

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Speaker 1: a thousand dollars. Yeahs don't cost anything. Well, the pastor

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Speaker 1: isn't going to pay himself, is he? Yeah? No, I

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Speaker 1: guess he's not right. So I need to get that

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Speaker 1: payment of five hundred dollars from you. I actually feel

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Speaker 1: very uncomfortable right now because I am being pressured by

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Speaker 1: a church to pay five hundred dollars. Well, I'm ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: I'm not pressuring you, sir, I'm just saying that's the

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Speaker 1: money that you owe. Now. You want your daughter's baptism

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Speaker 1: to take right to what to take to stick to

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Speaker 1: be a good baptism, Yes, I do. Then you need

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Speaker 1: to pay us the five hundred dollars because if we

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Speaker 1: don't get that money, I can't guarantee the baptism. Are

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Speaker 1: you talking about? The baptism already happened? Right? It did,

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Speaker 1: but I don't take it back because I don't pay.

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Speaker 1: So you're okay with ripping off the church. The church

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Speaker 1: is ripping me off asking for five minute dollars, I

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Speaker 1: don't think so. You've got a free baptism in your

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Speaker 1: pocket as far as you're concerned, and you're not willing

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Speaker 1: to pay for it? Is this your thing? Do you

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Speaker 1: enjoy ripping off churches. I do not steal money from churches. Okay,

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Speaker 1: it certainly sounds like you enjoy taking money from the church.

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Speaker 1: Because we performed a baptism on your daughter. It was

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Speaker 1: a very lovely service. Seriously seriously offending me. Right now,

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Speaker 1: let me ask you a question, now that I've got

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Speaker 1: you on the phone. Are you the same guy that's

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Speaker 1: been reaching into the collection played on Sundays and taking

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Speaker 1: dollar bills? All right? You know what, this is ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: You are choosing me of stealing from you. I did

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Speaker 1: not steal any thing. My daughter was baptized at your

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Speaker 1: church and that's all. You've basically shoplifted a baptism. Stop

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Speaker 1: accusing me of stealing from the church when I am

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Speaker 1: not doing that. I know that this isn't very holy,

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Speaker 1: but I think that you are being a churk Oh,

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Speaker 1: that's it. That is it. Prepared to be smited. You

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Speaker 1: cannot smite me. Oh I'm gonna smite you. No, you

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Speaker 1: cannot smite me. Oh, I'm gonna smite you right in

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Speaker 1: your What did you just say? That's what. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: smite you right in your this Okay, this is this

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Speaker 1: cannot be from the church. Smite you, good mother. This

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Speaker 1: is definitely not from the church. You're right. This is

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Speaker 1: Jewel from brook and Jewel in the morning. I'm moving

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Speaker 1: ninety two point five doing a phone tap on you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's a joke. Your wife, Your wife, Jessica set you up.

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Speaker 1: She thought it would make for a good laugh. God,

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Speaker 1: did you actually believe that your church wanted to charge

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Speaker 1: you five hundred dollars for your daughter's baptism? Church? Call

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Speaker 1: your mother, Dude, I smited you so hard. You've never

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Speaker 1: been smited that hard before. Have you wake up every

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Speaker 1: morning with jubal phone taps weekday mornings on the twenties,

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Speaker 1: call out to win three hundred bucks one eighty six six,

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Speaker 1: moving ninety two five