Speaker 1: Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
Speaker 1: week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
Speaker 1: the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
Speaker 1: crackheads in the Ghetto Cutter the same as the rich
Speaker 1: pill poppers in the penthouse the clearing House of hot
Speaker 1: takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with
Speaker 1: Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere. Another
Speaker 1: weekend is here, and of course, well Saturday, Saturday, Saturday
Speaker 1: and a Fifth Hour with Ben Mallor and Danny g
Speaker 1: is upon us in the Magic Podcast studio, and Danny,
Speaker 1: I am excited to be here on a Saturday. Uh clear. Yes,
Speaker 1: the checks in the mail unless it's not. Unless it's not.
Speaker 1: But I do, I do have some good story to tell.
Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to because some of the stuff I
Speaker 1: probably should have gotten to on the radio show. Oh
Speaker 1: hell now, yeah, But I felt like we could go
Speaker 1: a little more in depth on the podcast. So you
Speaker 1: went to Vegas a few weeks ago, I just went
Speaker 1: to Vegas last weekend. And so we're gonna have the
Speaker 1: Mallard travel log on this edition of the Fifth Hour,
Speaker 1: which is a tremendously important piece of audio content that
Speaker 1: many people did not realize they need, but desperately, one
Speaker 1: that is much better than hearing you suddenly becoming an
Speaker 1: expert on NBA and college basketball. Yeah no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: yeah no no, that's not not going on. But so
Speaker 1: I've got on the Mallard travel Log. We've got ammonia Mania, Tabernacle,
Speaker 1: Welcome to Suckersville, and of course odds and ends, kids
Speaker 1: say the darndest things, and uh and a whole lot
Speaker 1: more so that I think we should just get right
Speaker 1: into him. I don't wanna know small talk, right, I mean,
Speaker 1: is anything you wanna begin with your dan, anything that
Speaker 1: that's really on on the tip of your tongue, as
Speaker 1: Marcel would say, Let's get into it. Yeah, alright. So
Speaker 1: the Mallard Travelog, now, we we had Scott Farrell on
Speaker 1: last week on Friday, and then I scdaddled to lost
Speaker 1: Wages and about I visited Vegas, first time I had
Speaker 1: been there in almost three years since the pandemic began.
Speaker 1: I dodged since city. This was not intentional, but I
Speaker 1: just didn't want to go anywhere. I said, you know,
Speaker 1: travel was kind of shutdown. Vegas was shut down So
Speaker 1: now why did I end my truancy? Why was this
Speaker 1: trip different than than all as well? Mainly the reason
Speaker 1: I went was because my wife was going out of
Speaker 1: town with her girl ends, so she thought, hey, you
Speaker 1: should go to Vegas. So I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: I'll go to Vegas. Whatever. So I did a guy's
Speaker 1: trip to UH to Vegas. I went with one of
Speaker 1: my my buddies. I've known this guy since high school,
Speaker 1: gambling buddy of mind hunter. And we packed up the
Speaker 1: old station wagon and headed to the gambling mecca of
Speaker 1: of Laws Ages, Nevada. There and UH and I drove. Now,
Speaker 1: I'm not a big flyer dandy. I don't fly. I
Speaker 1: don't think. I think. I've only flown to Vegas once
Speaker 1: and that was when one of the fight companies paid
Speaker 1: for me to fly there. But other than that, I
Speaker 1: actually don't mind the drive drivers. I'm into the drive.
Speaker 1: I'm hip with the drive, so I just feel like
Speaker 1: it's it's a better way to go. I like all
Speaker 1: the desert towns. I kind of know certain restaurants in
Speaker 1: Barstow and Apple Valley and places like that. Between l
Speaker 1: A and UH in Vague. Did you stop in beautiful Baker.
Speaker 1: You know, I didn't stop in Baker this time. I
Speaker 1: waived at Baker on the way there. Uh, stopped in
Speaker 1: Apple Valley, Okay, which is I think the mark, and
Speaker 1: then Barstow is like the fifty percent mark, and then Baker,
Speaker 1: California is it's about seventy give or take um, but
Speaker 1: rather uneventful drive. I did lose a bet though, on
Speaker 1: the way there. I thought I knew where Zizi's Road is,
Speaker 1: and it turns out that I guessed wrong. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: actually right before Baker. Well yeah, I thought it was.
Speaker 1: For some reason, I thought it was after Baker, and
Speaker 1: I f that up because I wasn't paying attention, clearly,
Speaker 1: because I always get excited when you see Zizi's Road.
Speaker 1: That's one of the most famous roads in America. And
Speaker 1: they I think they actually did a little movie about
Speaker 1: Zizi's Road, if I remember correct. I lost the bet.
Speaker 1: I lost like a five dollar bet, So that was
Speaker 1: a bubber. We did stop in Prim. We got a
Speaker 1: little late start on the trip to Vegas, and we
Speaker 1: wanted a wager on some of the early NBA games.
Speaker 1: They start in the afternoon, so we made it to
Speaker 1: two Prim, which is right across the California border. If
Speaker 1: you're not familiar with the geography, this is the Mallar
Speaker 1: travel Log, which is an amazing, amazing piece of audio.
Speaker 1: So I made it to Prim. One of the hotels
Speaker 1: Buffalo Bills completely closed. That's where the old Rickety roller
Speaker 1: coaster is. Yeah, yeah, that's that place is shut down.
Speaker 1: So there's only Whiskey Peats on one side, and then
Speaker 1: there's the Prim Valley Resort. But Whiskey Peats doesn't have
Speaker 1: a sports book, so we had to go to the
Speaker 1: Prim Valley Resort because they've got a sports book. So
Speaker 1: I I wager and I did some handicapping and wagered
Speaker 1: on a an NBA gamean Mavericks plus the points against
Speaker 1: the jazz Insalt Lake. So I got that bed in.
Speaker 1: Then we headed down the road another forty miles or
Speaker 1: so from Prim to to Vegas Proper and we pulled
Speaker 1: up to the MGM Grant. Now, have you stayed at
Speaker 1: the MGM Grand Danny? Have you spent any time there
Speaker 1: back in the day? Yeah? Yeah, I mean it's a massive,
Speaker 1: massive hotel. Uh and uh, the wife had actually booked.
Speaker 1: She got she found a cheap room online. Now normally
Speaker 1: in the past I would hit up a friend in
Speaker 1: Vegas and try to get camped. But I actually paid
Speaker 1: for the room, so that's a step in the right directions.
Speaker 1: I paid for the room and it was really cheap.
Speaker 1: It was a really good deal online until until Danny
Speaker 1: I went to check into the hotel because I paid
Speaker 1: for it on one of the travel websites. And then
Speaker 1: they they said, well, you've got to pay for park
Speaker 1: and uh. And I said okay. And then then I said, well,
Speaker 1: that's kind of lame. And then they said, well you've
Speaker 1: got it. You've got this resort fee. You you've got
Speaker 1: to pay the resort fee and uh. I said, well
Speaker 1: that's stupid. Uh. And then they were like, well we
Speaker 1: we we have to actually charge your credit card an
Speaker 1: extra hundred dollars for incidentals. By the time they got
Speaker 1: done bending me over the counter there just ram it.
Speaker 1: We were at if I if I'm right on the map,
Speaker 1: I think it was over three hundred dollars that they
Speaker 1: had taken. Yeah, some of that I got back, but
Speaker 1: to me, Danny and maybe I'm I'm not that right.
Speaker 1: So if you pay the resort fee, shouldn't that include
Speaker 1: the parking. Isn't that part of the resort fee? Why
Speaker 1: would that not be part of the resort. It's at
Speaker 1: the resort, why would that not be part of the resort. No,
Speaker 1: you're absolutely right, And that's why you have to do
Speaker 1: a lot of research while you're booking for Vegas, because
Speaker 1: you need to see what that final bill is gonna
Speaker 1: look like. And if they have free parking, almost all
Speaker 1: of them are trying to charge something and at tax.
Speaker 1: It's not fun because we're helping to fund things like
Speaker 1: the brand new Allegiance Stadium. Yeah, it's it's crazy. That's
Speaker 1: pretty much what what I had to say to them,
Speaker 1: I guess or they said to me. But yeah, man,
Speaker 1: oh man, what a scam. So they give you the
Speaker 1: cheap hotel online, you think you're getting a deal, and
Speaker 1: then you get there and you have to empty your
Speaker 1: pockets out somebody money, man oh man, oh man. Uh.
Speaker 1: And as many have pointed out, Danny and I love
Speaker 1: Vegas and I'll go back. I'll probably go back several
Speaker 1: times this year. I'm a big fan of eights. But
Speaker 1: when the mob was in control, that was when Vegas
Speaker 1: was at its best. That's when they appreciated the customer,
Speaker 1: and they would give you free parking, they give you
Speaker 1: a big giant meal for like ten bucks, and it
Speaker 1: was amazing. Just no going there. You're gonna basically pay
Speaker 1: through the teeth. Yeah, there's there's a lot of that anyway.
Speaker 1: So after checking in and emptying out my pockets, quickly
Speaker 1: dumped the bags in the room and and made my
Speaker 1: way to the sports book and I had to get
Speaker 1: my other NBA locked. The people seem the Clippers plus
Speaker 1: one and a half against the Lakers. That was my
Speaker 1: other NBA lock of Friday last Friday. Did you say
Speaker 1: the people Seemen the People's team a lot of your people,
Speaker 1: Danny Purple and gold people in the sports book and point.
Speaker 1: Did I enjoy their agony? I'm not gonna lie to you.
Speaker 1: I thought, boy, that is just wonderful watching them all
Speaker 1: squirm as their team lost to the Clippers with no
Speaker 1: no guys I've ever heard of on the Clippers and
Speaker 1: they still want it to what is still wrong with
Speaker 1: the Clippers? It was enjoyable. You pay me five thousand dollars,
Speaker 1: I'll endorse a game magazine. It was absolutely enjoyed. Hell no,
Speaker 1: I would tell you though, those losses go down a
Speaker 1: lot easier with some championships in the back pocket. Well,
Speaker 1: they haven't had any since Kobe, any legitimate championship, all right.
Speaker 1: They just want to point that out. I think we
Speaker 1: all know that Anty was basketball. That is a bogus championship,
Speaker 1: and it's been proven bogus the one, the one from
Speaker 1: how they performed in recent years, that that was just
Speaker 1: a product of them having four months off before the
Speaker 1: NBA Finals, royals having their problems on the road. I'm
Speaker 1: Ben Malick, and when they don't have four months off,
Speaker 1: motherfuck they suck. Okay, that's the reality. But the Dodgers
Speaker 1: championship in the bubble, that one counts well, yes, because
Speaker 1: that was the most teams ever uh in the postseason.
Speaker 1: And baseball is it was against the norms of baseball.
Speaker 1: Forms of baseball are the it's a marathon, not a sprint.
Speaker 1: It is a marathon, not a sprint. But that season, okay,
Speaker 1: that particular season was a sprint and a lot of
Speaker 1: teams that were supposed to be good. And I covered
Speaker 1: baseball all the time. One of the problems with baseball
Speaker 1: is those knuckleheads can take a month off and not
Speaker 1: play well for a month. And it doesn't really matter.
Speaker 1: You're just getting the playoffs and that's that. Get back
Speaker 1: to the story. So I enjoyed my time at the
Speaker 1: sports book, and I won both the bets that I
Speaker 1: made that day, and I was very happy with that.
Speaker 1: Paid some dividends because I have no no life. But
Speaker 1: I only had one complaint. You know what that complaint was, Danny? Well,
Speaker 1: really quick, were you doing your famous Mallard calculator where
Speaker 1: you're like, okay, that's fifty towards the hotel they robbed
Speaker 1: me on? I did? I did? I said, I was like,
Speaker 1: how much do I have to get here to get
Speaker 1: my money back? So I'm squared up on the on
Speaker 1: the expense. I was absolutely doing that. Um. But my
Speaker 1: only complaint, Danny, was, and you don't know this, but
Speaker 1: it was the constant smell of ammonia, very strong smell
Speaker 1: of ammonia. And I had to change seats three times
Speaker 1: in the book in the sports book there and the
Speaker 1: reason I had to change seats multiple times here, what
Speaker 1: do you think? What do you think happened here, Danny?
Speaker 1: Why would I have to do that? I'm gonna guess
Speaker 1: chain smoking was involved. Well, there was some chain smoking.
Speaker 1: That people were doing, but that was not it. It
Speaker 1: was Uh the reason that I changed seats three times.
Speaker 1: One of them was because of somebody doing some tremendous smoking.
Speaker 1: I think they They don't mean in an ashtray. There
Speaker 1: their lungs of the ashtray. It was an amazing thing. Uh,
Speaker 1: never seen that kind of smoking. For then the other
Speaker 1: times I moved though, because of the constant smell of ammonia.
Speaker 1: It turns out the sports Book was double dipping as
Speaker 1: a homeless shelter, much to my amazement. Here we had
Speaker 1: multiple transience who had wandered off Las Vegas Boulevard the
Speaker 1: Strip and they were they were deep into You know,
Speaker 1: there's different levels of anything. And those people that are
Speaker 1: homeless that are living in their cars and they try
Speaker 1: to take care of themselves and shower and do as
Speaker 1: much as they can, and it's difficult. Then there's the
Speaker 1: other group that is just let it go. And several
Speaker 1: of those homeless folks, those poor chaps we're in the
Speaker 1: sports book. One of them was sleeping, I fell asleep.
Speaker 1: Another one was actually watching the games, but they both
Speaker 1: wreaked of urine and uh it was I mean, Doc
Speaker 1: Mike would have been in heaven, it would have been
Speaker 1: shangra la for Doc, but for the rest of us,
Speaker 1: it was like, holy crap, and what do we holy
Speaker 1: can only haven't want to watch the games. I got
Speaker 1: a little action on it, I got I got a
Speaker 1: homeless city breaking out of here was like, stopped the
Speaker 1: fuck up? Man, oh man, oh man. Now, eventually security
Speaker 1: got over there, and it took it seemed like it
Speaker 1: took like an hour for them to show up and
Speaker 1: then move because legally there's a lot of hoops you
Speaker 1: gotta jump through to get someone to leave the place.
Speaker 1: So I did notice their technique, the securities technique, because
Speaker 1: they were multiple homeless people there. So they asked the
Speaker 1: homeless to head to wake him up, so that was
Speaker 1: number one. Then they got a head, he got a
Speaker 1: photo I D and uh. And then you know, most
Speaker 1: hardcore homeless people don't have a photo I D. They're homeless.
Speaker 1: They don't have an address anyway, so they didn't have
Speaker 1: an I D. And they escorted them out to Las
Speaker 1: Vegas Boulevard. However, in a matter of truth and reporting
Speaker 1: here it turns out that you can take the homeless
Speaker 1: person out of the sports book, but you cannot take
Speaker 1: the smell out of the sports book that that was
Speaker 1: still p you it's not it's Tony, No, it's real.
Speaker 1: It didn't happen, it happened. I was there. I saw it. Uh.
Speaker 1: It smelled like the men's room on a Jersey Turnpike
Speaker 1: that hadn't been cleaned in like four or five days.
Speaker 1: It was pretty crazy. And but I won my bets,
Speaker 1: and so eventually I went up and took a shower
Speaker 1: and the smell of pits went away. So there was that.
Speaker 1: So that was a lot has happened since Robert de
Speaker 1: naro A k Ace was kicked out of running the casino. Yeah,
Speaker 1: things things have gotten a little bit different. The customer service. Uh,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm just I'm just saying, I'm just saying,
Speaker 1: all right now, that was a shaky start to my
Speaker 1: Vegas ship on Saturday, though Mallard travel log continues. Danny g.
Speaker 1: On Saturday the highlight I went over to the Fremont
Speaker 1: Street experienced. Now are you are you a big Fremont
Speaker 1: Street experience guy? I know you went to Vegas a
Speaker 1: few weeks ago. Yeah, you're talking old Vegas, oh, downtown Vegas. Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: it reminds me too much of Reno and I need
Speaker 1: a shower. Were immediately, Oh yeah, yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1: Though I love that about it. It's very seedy. It's disgusting.
Speaker 1: Now while the vast majority of people out of town
Speaker 1: they go to Vegas, they all go to the Strip.
Speaker 1: That's the experience they want to me. The real Vegas
Speaker 1: is downtown Vegas. That's the real Vegas, that not the Strip.
Speaker 1: And the Strip is great and all, and I usually
Speaker 1: stay on the Strip, but I love downtown Veggas. That
Speaker 1: area around the Golden Nugget. They got the zip line
Speaker 1: going right down the street is a strippers booze, any
Speaker 1: kind of pharmaceuticals you might need, degenerates, debauchery, but the
Speaker 1: good times, well, it's like Venice Beach. If Venice Beach
Speaker 1: had sex with Bourbon Street they had a baby, it
Speaker 1: would be Old Vegas. It's like New York's Times Square
Speaker 1: before they cleaned it up. Yeah, I went and how
Speaker 1: all the peep shows and all that before Giuliani got
Speaker 1: in there and cleaned up. But you know, it's it's uh,
Speaker 1: it's a freak show. It's a carnival in in Fremont Street.
Speaker 1: So I found free parking which I was happy about.
Speaker 1: When I went over there, I was like, Oh, that's good.
Speaker 1: That's we're off to a good start. And so I,
Speaker 1: you know, it's winding around, and I love going to
Speaker 1: the Golden Nugget. They have the coolest pool and if
Speaker 1: you ever go to Vegas you have kids, they have
Speaker 1: a slide that goes right through the pool, and they
Speaker 1: have a tank. Obviously it's filled with like sharks and
Speaker 1: you know, different kinds of fish, huge fish, and it's
Speaker 1: really awesome. They did a tremendous job, and so I
Speaker 1: always checked that out. And now the pool was closed
Speaker 1: because it was cold in Vegas. But then as I
Speaker 1: was walking out of the Golden Nugget, I saw the light.
Speaker 1: I saw the light, Danny, I saw it. I witnessed it.
Speaker 1: The brand new Circle Hotel. I didn't even know this
Speaker 1: was a thing. I had been keeping up on Vegas,
Speaker 1: but since the last time I was in Vegas, they
Speaker 1: built this monstrosity of a hotel right across from the
Speaker 1: Golden Nugget. Brand spanking new, and it's so immaculate that
Speaker 1: they actually had a security guard checking your driver's license
Speaker 1: to get in. I'm wearing a bathround. I did to
Speaker 1: scan your driver's license. How crazy is that? Now? Did
Speaker 1: it look out of place around the rest of the
Speaker 1: older structures. Well, it was very large, and that caught
Speaker 1: my attention, and it didn't look new, and I thought, well,
Speaker 1: that's not something I normally see in this part of town.
Speaker 1: So I normally, if I am asked to show my
Speaker 1: ID to go and do a building, I'm not I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna do it. I was very reluctant to hand
Speaker 1: over my driver's license. This is so stupid. So for
Speaker 1: me to walk into a casino, I gotta show my
Speaker 1: I D what is this? But I did? And uh,
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you. I walked in. I didn't know
Speaker 1: what to expect. They're like, welcome, Mr Miller. Eat well,
Speaker 1: he exactly, Oh hey, Bill Miller. It was stunning, tip
Speaker 1: top condition, spotless. Now, part of it might have been
Speaker 1: that I had just walked through the Golden Nugget and
Speaker 1: a couple of other hotels that I think we're last
Speaker 1: updated in, so that might have been part of it.
Speaker 1: But this thing was nuts so and uncontaminated by the
Speaker 1: hoodlums outside the doors, the unwashed, and so I wandered around,
Speaker 1: and I every corner I turned. I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: this is this is really cool, and then I had
Speaker 1: the Eureka moment there it was Casablanca, the Tabernacle. Uh,
Speaker 1: this is the sports book. But not just a sports book, Danny,
Speaker 1: this was a religious experience. Oh yes, this was a sanctuary,
Speaker 1: this sports book. The video boards three stories high. I
Speaker 1: sent out a photo on Twitter. Ye, this thing was amazing, Danny,
Speaker 1: three stories high. It had the quality of so Fi
Speaker 1: Stadium meets Jerry's world. As far as you know the scoreboard,
Speaker 1: I'm sure Allegiance Stadium has a nic scoreboard. Two. I've
Speaker 1: never been there. Uh, but stadium style seating that that
Speaker 1: Musburger operation has studios there. Visten Baby, it was. It
Speaker 1: was intense. I was only planning on just walking through
Speaker 1: the hotel. I ended up staying there a couple of hours,
Speaker 1: and I was like, how so enamored? I was like
Speaker 1: watching hockey games I didn't care about. I watched a U.
Speaker 1: C Irvine College basketball game shout out and Eaters that
Speaker 1: I really didn't I would not have watched. But I
Speaker 1: was like, Wow, this is amazing and it's so co
Speaker 1: haveent app you can download because they only have the
Speaker 1: audio for one of the games. There's every game you
Speaker 1: could possibly want, and so there's an app you can
Speaker 1: download and then listen to the different video feeds with
Speaker 1: the audio. So nice. I mean, I I don't think
Speaker 1: they spared an expense on anything. And I'm already thinking,
Speaker 1: I when can I go back. I'm like, gotta, I
Speaker 1: gotta go check that out. And I'll stay in that
Speaker 1: part of Vegas and maybe I'll go over to the
Speaker 1: Plaza or something like that, which I think is one
Speaker 1: of the great spots for depression. And I like the Plaza.
Speaker 1: But there's a Greyhound bus station at the Plaza, and
Speaker 1: so you see people coming to Vegas on the Greyhound
Speaker 1: bus that have their last like dollar in their pocket.
Speaker 1: And then you see people leaving Vegas that have their
Speaker 1: last dollar in their pocket. If you know what I'm saying, Danny, right,
Speaker 1: I mean, this is uh never, it's not boring, it's
Speaker 1: it's interesting. So the last I got a couple more
Speaker 1: things here on the Mallard Travelogue. I know we're getting
Speaker 1: a little long on this. Welcome to Suckersville. So over
Speaker 1: the years, as you know, Danny, because I worked with
Speaker 1: you for a long time, you know, I have ranted
Speaker 1: about avoiding when you go to a place like Vegas.
Speaker 1: You want to avoid being an easy mark. You don't
Speaker 1: you want to be the sucker. And so I've done
Speaker 1: p s A s on the radio. I've done interventions
Speaker 1: and so I know a thing or two because we've
Speaker 1: seen a thing or two over the years when it
Speaker 1: comes to sports betting and gambling and all that, and
Speaker 1: and many people are just reckless, and money management is
Speaker 1: part of it, but the biggest thing is discipline and
Speaker 1: keep your eye on the price. Don't be it. You
Speaker 1: don't want to be a square. A square gambler is
Speaker 1: an average, unsophisticated gambler who bets on hunches and you
Speaker 1: know whatever Skip Bayliss or stephen A. Smith say, They're like,
Speaker 1: all right, he thinks this is gonna happen. So you
Speaker 1: bet on that where they have some kind of system
Speaker 1: or something like that, and the mathematical advantage that the
Speaker 1: sports book has, you have no chance of winning if
Speaker 1: you're like uh. And the people who run those sports
Speaker 1: books love the person who's the square gambler because they
Speaker 1: know they're gonna win in the end. And there's like
Speaker 1: there's three types of people that bet money in a
Speaker 1: sports book. Uh, there's the square gambler who has no information,
Speaker 1: there's the better who has some information, and then there's
Speaker 1: the wager slash cartel that has all the information. But
Speaker 1: I'm more of like a better. I have some information,
Speaker 1: but I don't have all the information. Uh. And I
Speaker 1: wish I was a wager or an insider part of
Speaker 1: a conglomerate that has all the information. But anyway, so
Speaker 1: the reason I'm bringing this up day so I the
Speaker 1: buddy I came with, who is I've known for a
Speaker 1: long time and he's a big fan of mixed martial arts.
Speaker 1: This is his thing. He loves the m M A world.
Speaker 1: That's his jam. He's Mr UFC. So there was a
Speaker 1: big UFC card, not even really a big card. It
Speaker 1: was a small card. I guess they have it every
Speaker 1: weekend at the training facility in Vegas. It's on pay
Speaker 1: per view, so you can bet on all these fights,
Speaker 1: and we were kind of pulling together our money a
Speaker 1: little bit, just have some fun. Some of the money.
Speaker 1: My strategy was to bet the only the games I
Speaker 1: really strong opinion on and only make single wagers because
Speaker 1: that's the way to make money. You make three wagers
Speaker 1: you win two out of three, you've made money, or
Speaker 1: three out of five, but I recommend three two out
Speaker 1: of three you win money. Yeah, you're not doings. No,
Speaker 1: I don't do parleys. Parley's a sucker bet, so I
Speaker 1: don't do it anyway. So that's just me. So I
Speaker 1: went three and oh, I I bet the Mavericks, the Clippers,
Speaker 1: I bet the Grizzlies and they all either one outright
Speaker 1: and covered or just cover the spread. So my pals like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I want to bet the UFC, my buddy,
Speaker 1: and so he said, I'm gonna do three round robin
Speaker 1: parlay bets on the UFC. I'm like exactly. So the
Speaker 1: biggest pitfall with parlays is that, as you know, the
Speaker 1: very risk, are you gonna win all of the bets?
Speaker 1: If any one of the games loses, the entire bet
Speaker 1: goes down the toilet. The odds are not in your favor.
Speaker 1: And the casino loves to promote when somebody hits a
Speaker 1: parlay because they know they're gonna get their money back
Speaker 1: tenfold with other people thinking they're gonna hit their parlays,
Speaker 1: and so they don't mind when people win the parlay
Speaker 1: because oftentimes they don't get to the point. Please. So
Speaker 1: my my buddies like, yeah, around Robin, it's a little
Speaker 1: different around what is around Robin Parley. It's it's kind
Speaker 1: of like mitigating the risk, they claim, hedging the bed
Speaker 1: a little bit, so you don't have to win all
Speaker 1: the bets, but you gotta win most of them. In
Speaker 1: my pal, he's bragging me about he knows everything like
Speaker 1: buddies with Dana White. He knows everything going on. He
Speaker 1: knew all the fighters, he knew their backstory, he knew
Speaker 1: their strength, their weaknesses. He was telling me. It was
Speaker 1: the funniest thing, Danny, because pretty much before every single
Speaker 1: fight he was telling me what was happening or what
Speaker 1: was gonna happen. And then within about three minutes, the
Speaker 1: thing that he had said was going to happen, the
Speaker 1: opposite happen, and Uh it was. I was. I was.
Speaker 1: I was upset we lost, but I was happy because
Speaker 1: I just goofed on him the rest of the trip
Speaker 1: to Vegas. I was like, you were such a loser. Uh.
Speaker 1: He lost every one of those random around Robin Park
Speaker 1: recooting Danny one. He had been a minus seven hundred favorite,
Speaker 1: a minus seven hundred favorite mathematically is as close to
Speaker 1: a sure thing as you can get. And the guy
Speaker 1: lost tapped out. The guy even tapped out, Wow, yeah, basically,
Speaker 1: you should have just faded your friend and you would
Speaker 1: have won some money. Yeah, yeah, that would have been good.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, and he was ripping me because he said,
Speaker 1: you shoot it on a parlor. Because I did three
Speaker 1: games and I won all three. I said, well, no,
Speaker 1: it's not the point. I'm doing a parlay. I don't
Speaker 1: believe in the parlay. I'm anti parlay. I was the
Speaker 1: whole thing. But anyway, so he got destroyed by the
Speaker 1: round robin. Now some other random things real quick, some
Speaker 1: huh if you will, the the the finish of the
Speaker 1: Vegas travel log. Here the odds and ends from the trip.
Speaker 1: So a couple of the things that stood out Danny
Speaker 1: on the travel log here, I found eighty dollars on
Speaker 1: the floor at the Aria Sports Book, which I stopped by.
Speaker 1: But here's the deal. So I found a lot of
Speaker 1: eighty dollar bills on the floor, and I'm like, oh man,
Speaker 1: but I'm with my buddy and I'm thinking, I won't
Speaker 1: wait a minute, what's what do you do? You're in
Speaker 1: a casino. There are cameras everywhere, and is that my money?
Speaker 1: Do I turn that in? Am I in trouble if
Speaker 1: I take that money? Like all this is going through
Speaker 1: my head, I'm like, can you be arrested for that?
Speaker 1: I'm like, I found it. If I'm outside and I
Speaker 1: found money on the street, you know it's found money.
Speaker 1: So what I decided to do. He had my buddy
Speaker 1: pick up the cash, and I said, you know we're
Speaker 1: gonna do. We're gonna sit here. We're watching some college basketball.
Speaker 1: I think Auburn was playing, and I said, what we're
Speaker 1: gonna do here is we're gonna we canna put this
Speaker 1: money down and we're gonna wait for an hour, and
Speaker 1: if nobody shows up here in an hour, it's our money.
Speaker 1: I thought that was fair, right, I thought that was
Speaker 1: fair because if you handle water cash to somebody behind
Speaker 1: the counter and say I found this on the floor,
Speaker 1: what are they gonna do. They're gonna put it in
Speaker 1: their own pocket exactly. Uh So, anyway, I sat there
Speaker 1: and we waited, and uh, well, it turns out the
Speaker 1: guy showed up said, hey, see my money. I dropped
Speaker 1: dropped my money in. So it turned out to be
Speaker 1: my good mitzvah of the that's some good karma that
Speaker 1: will hopefully come back to you. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Speaker 1: I thought it was good karma, so why not. I'd
Speaker 1: also like to take shots at Lizzo. Um, she has
Speaker 1: ruined the Vegas experience. Lizzo. Uh, terrible, terrible. And now
Speaker 1: I'm not a proud Danny. You know, I'm not approved.
Speaker 1: I'm not people think I'm approved. I'm not approved. Okay,
Speaker 1: but my goodness, all right, some of the things I saw, Danny,
Speaker 1: I wanted to pour bleach in my eyes and I
Speaker 1: saw these things. It was my god. Uh. And I
Speaker 1: call this the Lizzo effect, is what I call this.
Speaker 1: And there were some some people walking around, most women
Speaker 1: who were wandering around. No shame in their game, Danny,
Speaker 1: you know, no shame in their game. And it is
Speaker 1: the Lizzo effect. Rocking the rolls, rocking the rolls. It's
Speaker 1: like if you put a thong on a on a
Speaker 1: cow and you had the cow walk through the casine.
Speaker 1: But the thing that blew me away. You know, I'm
Speaker 1: a big guy, and I've lost some weight and I
Speaker 1: still I don't remember my fattest. I was always so
Speaker 1: self conscious. When I would go anywhere, I'm still self conscious,
Speaker 1: and I'd always be like, oh, I'm so ugly, and
Speaker 1: that nobody wants to look at me. And that's why
Speaker 1: I wear extra layers of clothes because I felt like
Speaker 1: that was appropriate because I was a large act and
Speaker 1: these women and it's I believe it's Lizzo, the Lizzo effect.
Speaker 1: Be proud of yourself and all that they're walking around
Speaker 1: there and they're wearing the kind of stuff that you
Speaker 1: would see at a beach. If you know, if you
Speaker 1: have a hundred and ten pound body and you're you know,
Speaker 1: five nine, you know, it's unbelievable. Now, am I a
Speaker 1: bad guy, Danny for pointing this out? Am I a
Speaker 1: bad guy for pointing this out? And then I wasn't
Speaker 1: blown away by the confidence. That was like, amazing thing.
Speaker 1: Where do these people get this confidence? Shocking? No, you
Speaker 1: could still be proud of yourself without having to put
Speaker 1: on display what looks like a popped Pilsberry canister that's
Speaker 1: cranked open. It was like some dough. You'd get the
Speaker 1: tube and you popped it open and it was just
Speaker 1: going everywhere. Yeah, it was. It was crazy and it
Speaker 1: was like all weekend. It was all and it started
Speaker 1: about seven o'clock. We were only had a few days.
Speaker 1: But at seven o'clock at night when they know everyone
Speaker 1: be coming down to go drinking and whatever they're doing.
Speaker 1: I've never seen this before. It's amazing to me. And
Speaker 1: you know, it's like wow, stuff you you can't unsee. Uh.
Speaker 1: There were there are also a lot of professionals walking around.
Speaker 1: Danny is in Vegas known for the professional working woman.
Speaker 1: And when I say working women, they were really working
Speaker 1: it working in the casino for I have noticed though
Speaker 1: this happened years ago, so it hasn't changed normally, the
Speaker 1: professional working woman has determined that prime real estate is
Speaker 1: about one to two in the morning at the casino.
Speaker 1: That's when they're wandering around. And I treated this thing
Speaker 1: like I was like at the zoo. I I was
Speaker 1: sitting in the casino and I was just people watching
Speaker 1: and and I was like it was like it was awesome.
Speaker 1: I really enjoyed it. I saw a lot of young
Speaker 1: people have a great time. I saw people that were
Speaker 1: my age or older that were completely slashed having a
Speaker 1: good time. And I saw the hookers. Uh, a lot
Speaker 1: of the Lizzo crowd and a lot of a lot
Speaker 1: of guys, a lot of dudes that thought they were
Speaker 1: in the Hangover movie. That's also annoying. I blame the
Speaker 1: Hangover movie for that. They all think they've got Mike
Speaker 1: Tyson and a tiger in the room and I could
Speaker 1: do without that. But it's that famous hookers and cocaine
Speaker 1: drop we use on your show come to life. Oh totally, totally.
Speaker 1: It's like, whoa, this is unbelievable when I'm seeing now
Speaker 1: the final part of this. So uh. On the way back,
Speaker 1: there's kind of a tradition. I have done the trip
Speaker 1: to Vegas many times and on the way back, I
Speaker 1: always stopped in Prim and I stopped there on the
Speaker 1: way there, but we just went into the sports book
Speaker 1: and that's They have a big mall, this massive mall
Speaker 1: and Prim right on the Nevada California border. So I
Speaker 1: stopped and I walked in there, and I thought I
Speaker 1: was in an episode of the Twilight Zone. I was like,
Speaker 1: what the hell happened. I've just been here a few
Speaker 1: years ago, Danny, this mall it was closed, and I
Speaker 1: am not kidding, I'm not exaggerating. This is a multimillion
Speaker 1: dollar outlet. Shopping center enclosed in the Nevada desert, and
Speaker 1: out of this massive mall, there were maybe three stores
Speaker 1: that were open. Maybe three stores that were open. That's nuts,
Speaker 1: because I remember in the late nineties that outlet you're
Speaker 1: talking about. It was jumping, yes, yeah, and I always
Speaker 1: gone there. They had a couple of stores I liked.
Speaker 1: They had the shirts I could get for pretty cheap
Speaker 1: compared to other places, and so they had a big
Speaker 1: food court and all this stuff. Food court was completely closed.
Speaker 1: It was sad. I was like, this is I felt
Speaker 1: like I was in an abandoned mall and like there
Speaker 1: had been some kind of accident somewhere the reactor and
Speaker 1: everyone had left and they had just left everything there
Speaker 1: and I was completely abandoned. It was just like a
Speaker 1: nuclear COVID reaction. Yeah, it was well, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I looked online. I tried to find out what happened.
Speaker 1: I couldn't really find anything other than the mall had
Speaker 1: fallen into bankruptcy and had been sold at auction, so
Speaker 1: that might have led to something plus COVID. For about
Speaker 1: a year and a half, not many people were making
Speaker 1: the drive from Vegas or from California to Vegas, so
Speaker 1: you still got rent to pay and all that. That's
Speaker 1: probably part of it, a big part of it. But man,
Speaker 1: oh man, that was that was insane. That was insane.
Speaker 1: And I didn't stop in in Barstow in the way
Speaker 1: back and walked into the Barstow Del Taco. Oh, the
Speaker 1: o g a staple. It's different than all other Del tacos.
Speaker 1: So I did that. But the stuff more beans into
Speaker 1: the burritos. Yes, a few more beans. Bean tastic. And
Speaker 1: so that was some of the highlights of the trip.
Speaker 1: It takes seven hours to get back. I stopped a
Speaker 1: couple of times. With seven hours to get back, I
Speaker 1: could have flown to New York or Boston and been
Speaker 1: halfway back by the time I got home. But that's it.
Speaker 1: So kids say the darnedest things, Danny, kids say the
Speaker 1: darnedest things, don't. Yeah, this past Wednesday, I and I've
Speaker 1: talked about the after school program that I'm helping during
Speaker 1: the week. It starts with the afternoon portion of the
Speaker 1: shift starts with eating lunch with the kids, or I'm
Speaker 1: not actually eating but kind of supervising as the kids
Speaker 1: eat their lunches. Now you sitting with them are you
Speaker 1: hanging with him? Are you standing off the side? What
Speaker 1: do you know? I hang with them? Uh? You know
Speaker 1: some of the some of the school employees have different
Speaker 1: ways they go about it. Some stand off to the side,
Speaker 1: some sit down and eat their own lunch with the kids. Me.
Speaker 1: I'm the entertainment. I've told the kids jokes, I've done
Speaker 1: physical comedy. Uh. It's all in the name of making
Speaker 1: the kids smile as they eat their food. So you'll
Speaker 1: be the cool guy when they're grown up. So remember
Speaker 1: that Danny g That guy was so cool. In fact,
Speaker 1: when I when I walk up, a few of the
Speaker 1: kids say, oh, there's Mr Funny. Mr Funny is here.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's a good thing or not
Speaker 1: called I do. I amuse you? How am I funny?
Speaker 1: So I walk up to the tables on Wednesday, and
Speaker 1: there's a little girl named Aria, five year old, who
Speaker 1: loves this little bit I do. Where these kids, A
Speaker 1: lot of them have the string cheese and their lunch.
Speaker 1: So I'll take to string cheese and I pretend like
Speaker 1: I'm in a rock band and I'm a drummer with
Speaker 1: the string cheese sticks. I drum on their head. I
Speaker 1: drum on lunchboxes. Basically, I'm looking for the best you know,
Speaker 1: drum kit in the vicinity, and the kids get a
Speaker 1: kick out of it. Two big tables of these kindergarteners.
Speaker 1: And I also do this thing where I point, like
Speaker 1: I'm in the rock band sitting behind the drum kit,
Speaker 1: and I think the city we're in, I'll point and
Speaker 1: I'll say, thank you, Detroit, You've been wonderful tonight. And
Speaker 1: I flipped the drumstick, which is the cheese string. The
Speaker 1: string cheese way up into the air. It's flipping high
Speaker 1: in the sky. Yeah, it comes down, and if I
Speaker 1: was a professional drummer, I would catch it right, but no, instead,
Speaker 1: this thing will usually hit me in the head or
Speaker 1: fall behind me. And the kids are laughing hysterically as
Speaker 1: they just think it's the funniest thing because I can't
Speaker 1: catch my drumstick. Yeah yeah, yeah sure. So every day
Speaker 1: they're like, do the drumstick thing, do the drumstick thing. Well,
Speaker 1: there's two other school employees out there on Wednesday. One
Speaker 1: of them is a Lizzo grump Lizzo uh, and she's
Speaker 1: standing out there with a you know, sour look on
Speaker 1: her face. It looked like she wasn't ready for the day.
Speaker 1: But I get called to the classroom, so I'm like,
Speaker 1: okay on the walkie talkie. So I go to the classroom.
Speaker 1: There's some business for me to handle there. I leave.
Speaker 1: I go back to the benches and Aria is sitting there.
Speaker 1: She's read just red as a beat. She looks piste
Speaker 1: off piste at the world. What happened? What's wrong? And
Speaker 1: she's like, that mean lady took my drumstick away from me. So, oh,
Speaker 1: what trouble did I cause? Because is this lady's now
Speaker 1: giving me the stink? I too? Oh, she's she's jealous
Speaker 1: because the kids like you. Is that what this is?
Speaker 1: This sounds like jealousy to me. Well, I think that's
Speaker 1: part of it. But what happened is while I was
Speaker 1: away at the classroom, Aria decided she would fill in
Speaker 1: for my stand up comedy routine. Aria took the drumstick
Speaker 1: ak string cheese and was flipping it high in the
Speaker 1: sky and letting it come down on her head and
Speaker 1: she was getting the laughter. Oh that's great. So she's
Speaker 1: she learned by osmosis by but you know, around you,
Speaker 1: and she said, I want to be the person everyone
Speaker 1: laughs at it like we were in the groundlings together
Speaker 1: and I trained her. Unfortunately, one of the school employees
Speaker 1: walked over and told her, why are you throwing string
Speaker 1: cheese boom? And she she tried to explain, I'm playing
Speaker 1: the drums. Danny plays the drums. I'm trying to do
Speaker 1: it like him. This employee has no idea what she's
Speaker 1: talking about, takes the string cheese stick away from her.
Speaker 1: She now sitting there just furious. I told the other adult,
Speaker 1: I said, oh, well, it's a thing I do. You
Speaker 1: know they're sitting down, but I make them smile. But
Speaker 1: I told Maria, I said, hey, you know it's your
Speaker 1: job to eat lunch. Though. Yeah, she wasn't having it.
Speaker 1: She was still sitting there, super mad. And finally the
Speaker 1: adult came back over to her and said, here it is.
Speaker 1: String cheese was in this lady's hand. She said, you
Speaker 1: have two options. You can either eat this or I'm
Speaker 1: gonna throw it away in the trash can. And the
Speaker 1: little girl said, I don't want to eat it, I
Speaker 1: want to play drums with it. Well, the adult was
Speaker 1: not having this, so she walks away and I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: we're at an impass here. This is gonna be an
Speaker 1: exciting finish. So now lunch is getting wrapped up. Most
Speaker 1: of the kids are packing their lunch boxes away. This
Speaker 1: lady comes wandering back over to our table and Maria
Speaker 1: says to her, can I please have my string cheese now?
Speaker 1: The adult says, no, I threw it away, and she's like,
Speaker 1: you did what. I threw it in the trash. Can
Speaker 1: I told you you could eat it or I throw
Speaker 1: it away? And you said, so I threw it away. Ben,
Speaker 1: look on this little girl's face was like somebody kicked
Speaker 1: her puppy. She was devastated. Yeah, I shure you not,
Speaker 1: she says to the adult employee. I was gonna save
Speaker 1: that and eat it in the car as a snack
Speaker 1: after my mom picked me up from school, but instead
Speaker 1: you ruined my life. That it's great. She said it
Speaker 1: with so much conviction and so loudly that the other
Speaker 1: adults turned around, all the kids turned around, and we're
Speaker 1: looking at her. It was like a state of the
Speaker 1: Union from a five year old. That is wonderful. It
Speaker 1: was awesome. For the rest of the day, I was
Speaker 1: torturing that adult anytime she was anywhere near me, I said,
Speaker 1: what's up? Are you doing life ruin her Ah, that
Speaker 1: is outstanding out stay, I love it. I love it.
Speaker 1: I mean you probably get stories like that every week
Speaker 1: with these kids, right man. You know, I have to
Speaker 1: come up with new material every week because the the
Speaker 1: drum kit thing, that's just from like the past seven
Speaker 1: days probably, and seven days prior to that, it was
Speaker 1: another routine I was doing. The kids. You gotta switch
Speaker 1: it up. You know, they get bored. Ye're gonna do
Speaker 1: the same comedy act. It's not gonna work. It's a
Speaker 1: lot of pressure because I have to constantly come up
Speaker 1: with new material. Well yeah, because if you're a comedian
Speaker 1: on the road, you go from Cleveland to Detroit, Cincinnati
Speaker 1: or whatever, you can do the same act, but the
Speaker 1: same kids. Man, in the attention span of kids, you
Speaker 1: don't have a lot of time to play with hunt
Speaker 1: and they're a tough crowd. If you suck, If you suck,
Speaker 1: they tell you suck. They're not gonna hold back. Uh. Well,
Speaker 1: unfortunately we don't suck. Dani. We mentioned if you guys
Speaker 1: review the podcast, the Fifth Hour Podcast. I know we're
Speaker 1: short on time here, but if you review the Fifth
Speaker 1: Hour podcast, we will read it on this show. So
Speaker 1: we got three more reviews this week. Go to the
Speaker 1: Apple podcast page for the fifth hour and that helps
Speaker 1: us out a lot. And you know you scratch our back,
Speaker 1: We'll scratch your back. So Marina Chef wrote, one hour
Speaker 1: too many, Sometimes one more thing can go bad. It's
Speaker 1: just going to be filled with tennis, soccer and Olympic
Speaker 1: events and no callers. What an abomination. He gave us
Speaker 1: five stars for that, so he was he was busting
Speaker 1: our balls there he likes was a little joke. Neil
Speaker 1: from I Think this is our buddy. Neil from Miami says,
Speaker 1: the two point oh version of the show is on point,
Speaker 1: no fake applause anymore. The refreshed post guests gand applause
Speaker 1: era is as or more entertaining than the O G show.
Speaker 1: Danny G brings the thunder and bends the lightning. That's
Speaker 1: from Neil, thank you for that fur Dog from Fullerton
Speaker 1: Rights in Orange County, he wrote a review. He said,
Speaker 1: better than Goodaiva chocolate. Great show if you want to
Speaker 1: listen to King Ben eight days a week, which doesn't
Speaker 1: make sense no matter how he tries to explain it.
Speaker 1: So but all these guys gave us five stars, so
Speaker 1: thank you. And if you want us to read your review,
Speaker 1: post one on the Apple podcast page for the fifth hour,
Speaker 1: and we will do it. We gotta get out of here.
Speaker 1: We get the mailbag on Sunday. Danny looking forward to that. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: I can't wait for Sunday. All right, we'll talk to
Speaker 1: you then I gotta murder. I gotta go.