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Speaker 1: Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a

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Speaker 1: week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of

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Speaker 1: the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats

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Speaker 1: crackheads in the Ghetto Cutter the same as the rich

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Speaker 1: pill poppers in the penthouse the clearing House of hot

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Speaker 1: takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with

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Speaker 1: Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere. Another

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Speaker 1: weekend is here, and of course, well Saturday, Saturday, Saturday

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Speaker 1: and a Fifth Hour with Ben Mallor and Danny g

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Speaker 1: is upon us in the Magic Podcast studio, and Danny,

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Speaker 1: I am excited to be here on a Saturday. Uh clear. Yes,

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Speaker 1: the checks in the mail unless it's not. Unless it's not.

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Speaker 1: But I do, I do have some good story to tell.

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Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to because some of the stuff I

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Speaker 1: probably should have gotten to on the radio show. Oh

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Speaker 1: hell now, yeah, But I felt like we could go

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Speaker 1: a little more in depth on the podcast. So you

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Speaker 1: went to Vegas a few weeks ago, I just went

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Speaker 1: to Vegas last weekend. And so we're gonna have the

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Speaker 1: Mallard travel log on this edition of the Fifth Hour,

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Speaker 1: which is a tremendously important piece of audio content that

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Speaker 1: many people did not realize they need, but desperately, one

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Speaker 1: that is much better than hearing you suddenly becoming an

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Speaker 1: expert on NBA and college basketball. Yeah no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: yeah no no, that's not not going on. But so

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Speaker 1: I've got on the Mallard travel Log. We've got ammonia Mania, Tabernacle,

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Suckersville, and of course odds and ends, kids

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Speaker 1: say the darndest things, and uh and a whole lot

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Speaker 1: more so that I think we should just get right

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Speaker 1: into him. I don't wanna know small talk, right, I mean,

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Speaker 1: is anything you wanna begin with your dan, anything that

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Speaker 1: that's really on on the tip of your tongue, as

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Speaker 1: Marcel would say, Let's get into it. Yeah, alright. So

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Speaker 1: the Mallard Travelog, now, we we had Scott Farrell on

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Speaker 1: last week on Friday, and then I scdaddled to lost

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Speaker 1: Wages and about I visited Vegas, first time I had

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Speaker 1: been there in almost three years since the pandemic began.

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Speaker 1: I dodged since city. This was not intentional, but I

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Speaker 1: just didn't want to go anywhere. I said, you know,

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Speaker 1: travel was kind of shutdown. Vegas was shut down So

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Speaker 1: now why did I end my truancy? Why was this

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Speaker 1: trip different than than all as well? Mainly the reason

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Speaker 1: I went was because my wife was going out of

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Speaker 1: town with her girl ends, so she thought, hey, you

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Speaker 1: should go to Vegas. So I was like, all right,

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Speaker 1: I'll go to Vegas. Whatever. So I did a guy's

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Speaker 1: trip to UH to Vegas. I went with one of

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Speaker 1: my my buddies. I've known this guy since high school,

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Speaker 1: gambling buddy of mind hunter. And we packed up the

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Speaker 1: old station wagon and headed to the gambling mecca of

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Speaker 1: of Laws Ages, Nevada. There and UH and I drove. Now,

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Speaker 1: I'm not a big flyer dandy. I don't fly. I

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Speaker 1: don't think. I think. I've only flown to Vegas once

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Speaker 1: and that was when one of the fight companies paid

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Speaker 1: for me to fly there. But other than that, I

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Speaker 1: actually don't mind the drive drivers. I'm into the drive.

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Speaker 1: I'm hip with the drive, so I just feel like

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Speaker 1: it's it's a better way to go. I like all

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Speaker 1: the desert towns. I kind of know certain restaurants in

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Speaker 1: Barstow and Apple Valley and places like that. Between l

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Speaker 1: A and UH in Vague. Did you stop in beautiful Baker.

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Speaker 1: You know, I didn't stop in Baker this time. I

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Speaker 1: waived at Baker on the way there. Uh, stopped in

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Speaker 1: Apple Valley, Okay, which is I think the mark, and

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Speaker 1: then Barstow is like the fifty percent mark, and then Baker,

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Speaker 1: California is it's about seventy give or take um, but

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Speaker 1: rather uneventful drive. I did lose a bet though, on

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Speaker 1: the way there. I thought I knew where Zizi's Road is,

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Speaker 1: and it turns out that I guessed wrong. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: actually right before Baker. Well yeah, I thought it was.

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Speaker 1: For some reason, I thought it was after Baker, and

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Speaker 1: I f that up because I wasn't paying attention, clearly,

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Speaker 1: because I always get excited when you see Zizi's Road.

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Speaker 1: That's one of the most famous roads in America. And

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Speaker 1: they I think they actually did a little movie about

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Speaker 1: Zizi's Road, if I remember correct. I lost the bet.

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Speaker 1: I lost like a five dollar bet, So that was

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Speaker 1: a bubber. We did stop in Prim. We got a

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Speaker 1: little late start on the trip to Vegas, and we

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Speaker 1: wanted a wager on some of the early NBA games.

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Speaker 1: They start in the afternoon, so we made it to

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Speaker 1: two Prim, which is right across the California border. If

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Speaker 1: you're not familiar with the geography, this is the Mallar

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Speaker 1: travel Log, which is an amazing, amazing piece of audio.

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Speaker 1: So I made it to Prim. One of the hotels

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Speaker 1: Buffalo Bills completely closed. That's where the old Rickety roller

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Speaker 1: coaster is. Yeah, yeah, that's that place is shut down.

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Speaker 1: So there's only Whiskey Peats on one side, and then

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Speaker 1: there's the Prim Valley Resort. But Whiskey Peats doesn't have

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Speaker 1: a sports book, so we had to go to the

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Speaker 1: Prim Valley Resort because they've got a sports book. So

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Speaker 1: I I wager and I did some handicapping and wagered

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Speaker 1: on a an NBA gamean Mavericks plus the points against

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Speaker 1: the jazz Insalt Lake. So I got that bed in.

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Speaker 1: Then we headed down the road another forty miles or

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Speaker 1: so from Prim to to Vegas Proper and we pulled

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Speaker 1: up to the MGM Grant. Now, have you stayed at

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Speaker 1: the MGM Grand Danny? Have you spent any time there

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Speaker 1: back in the day? Yeah? Yeah, I mean it's a massive,

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Speaker 1: massive hotel. Uh and uh, the wife had actually booked.

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Speaker 1: She got she found a cheap room online. Now normally

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Speaker 1: in the past I would hit up a friend in

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Speaker 1: Vegas and try to get camped. But I actually paid

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Speaker 1: for the room, so that's a step in the right directions.

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Speaker 1: I paid for the room and it was really cheap.

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Speaker 1: It was a really good deal online until until Danny

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Speaker 1: I went to check into the hotel because I paid

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Speaker 1: for it on one of the travel websites. And then

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Speaker 1: they they said, well, you've got to pay for park

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Speaker 1: and uh. And I said okay. And then then I said, well,

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Speaker 1: that's kind of lame. And then they said, well you've

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Speaker 1: got it. You've got this resort fee. You you've got

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Speaker 1: to pay the resort fee and uh. I said, well

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Speaker 1: that's stupid. Uh. And then they were like, well we

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Speaker 1: we we have to actually charge your credit card an

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Speaker 1: extra hundred dollars for incidentals. By the time they got

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Speaker 1: done bending me over the counter there just ram it.

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Speaker 1: We were at if I if I'm right on the map,

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Speaker 1: I think it was over three hundred dollars that they

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Speaker 1: had taken. Yeah, some of that I got back, but

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Speaker 1: to me, Danny and maybe I'm I'm not that right.

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Speaker 1: So if you pay the resort fee, shouldn't that include

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Speaker 1: the parking. Isn't that part of the resort fee? Why

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Speaker 1: would that not be part of the resort. It's at

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Speaker 1: the resort, why would that not be part of the resort. No,

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Speaker 1: you're absolutely right, And that's why you have to do

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Speaker 1: a lot of research while you're booking for Vegas, because

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Speaker 1: you need to see what that final bill is gonna

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Speaker 1: look like. And if they have free parking, almost all

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Speaker 1: of them are trying to charge something and at tax.

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Speaker 1: It's not fun because we're helping to fund things like

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Speaker 1: the brand new Allegiance Stadium. Yeah, it's it's crazy. That's

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Speaker 1: pretty much what what I had to say to them,

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Speaker 1: I guess or they said to me. But yeah, man,

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Speaker 1: oh man, what a scam. So they give you the

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Speaker 1: cheap hotel online, you think you're getting a deal, and

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Speaker 1: then you get there and you have to empty your

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Speaker 1: pockets out somebody money, man oh man, oh man. Uh.

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Speaker 1: And as many have pointed out, Danny and I love

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Speaker 1: Vegas and I'll go back. I'll probably go back several

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Speaker 1: times this year. I'm a big fan of eights. But

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Speaker 1: when the mob was in control, that was when Vegas

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Speaker 1: was at its best. That's when they appreciated the customer,

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Speaker 1: and they would give you free parking, they give you

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Speaker 1: a big giant meal for like ten bucks, and it

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Speaker 1: was amazing. Just no going there. You're gonna basically pay

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Speaker 1: through the teeth. Yeah, there's there's a lot of that anyway.

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Speaker 1: So after checking in and emptying out my pockets, quickly

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Speaker 1: dumped the bags in the room and and made my

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Speaker 1: way to the sports book and I had to get

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Speaker 1: my other NBA locked. The people seem the Clippers plus

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Speaker 1: one and a half against the Lakers. That was my

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Speaker 1: other NBA lock of Friday last Friday. Did you say

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Speaker 1: the people Seemen the People's team a lot of your people,

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Speaker 1: Danny Purple and gold people in the sports book and point.

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Speaker 1: Did I enjoy their agony? I'm not gonna lie to you.

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Speaker 1: I thought, boy, that is just wonderful watching them all

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Speaker 1: squirm as their team lost to the Clippers with no

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Speaker 1: no guys I've ever heard of on the Clippers and

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Speaker 1: they still want it to what is still wrong with

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Speaker 1: the Clippers? It was enjoyable. You pay me five thousand dollars,

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Speaker 1: I'll endorse a game magazine. It was absolutely enjoyed. Hell no,

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Speaker 1: I would tell you though, those losses go down a

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Speaker 1: lot easier with some championships in the back pocket. Well,

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Speaker 1: they haven't had any since Kobe, any legitimate championship, all right.

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Speaker 1: They just want to point that out. I think we

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Speaker 1: all know that Anty was basketball. That is a bogus championship,

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Speaker 1: and it's been proven bogus the one, the one from

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Speaker 1: how they performed in recent years, that that was just

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Speaker 1: a product of them having four months off before the

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Speaker 1: NBA Finals, royals having their problems on the road. I'm

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Speaker 1: Ben Malick, and when they don't have four months off,

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Speaker 1: motherfuck they suck. Okay, that's the reality. But the Dodgers

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Speaker 1: championship in the bubble, that one counts well, yes, because

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Speaker 1: that was the most teams ever uh in the postseason.

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Speaker 1: And baseball is it was against the norms of baseball.

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Speaker 1: Forms of baseball are the it's a marathon, not a sprint.

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Speaker 1: It is a marathon, not a sprint. But that season, okay,

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Speaker 1: that particular season was a sprint and a lot of

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Speaker 1: teams that were supposed to be good. And I covered

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Speaker 1: baseball all the time. One of the problems with baseball

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Speaker 1: is those knuckleheads can take a month off and not

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Speaker 1: play well for a month. And it doesn't really matter.

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Speaker 1: You're just getting the playoffs and that's that. Get back

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Speaker 1: to the story. So I enjoyed my time at the

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Speaker 1: sports book, and I won both the bets that I

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Speaker 1: made that day, and I was very happy with that.

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Speaker 1: Paid some dividends because I have no no life. But

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Speaker 1: I only had one complaint. You know what that complaint was, Danny? Well,

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Speaker 1: really quick, were you doing your famous Mallard calculator where

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Speaker 1: you're like, okay, that's fifty towards the hotel they robbed

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Speaker 1: me on? I did? I did? I said, I was like,

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Speaker 1: how much do I have to get here to get

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Speaker 1: my money back? So I'm squared up on the on

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Speaker 1: the expense. I was absolutely doing that. Um. But my

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Speaker 1: only complaint, Danny, was, and you don't know this, but

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Speaker 1: it was the constant smell of ammonia, very strong smell

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Speaker 1: of ammonia. And I had to change seats three times

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Speaker 1: in the book in the sports book there and the

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Speaker 1: reason I had to change seats multiple times here, what

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Speaker 1: do you think? What do you think happened here, Danny?

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Speaker 1: Why would I have to do that? I'm gonna guess

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Speaker 1: chain smoking was involved. Well, there was some chain smoking.

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Speaker 1: That people were doing, but that was not it. It

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Speaker 1: was Uh the reason that I changed seats three times.

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Speaker 1: One of them was because of somebody doing some tremendous smoking.

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Speaker 1: I think they They don't mean in an ashtray. There

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Speaker 1: their lungs of the ashtray. It was an amazing thing. Uh,

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Speaker 1: never seen that kind of smoking. For then the other

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Speaker 1: times I moved though, because of the constant smell of ammonia.

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Speaker 1: It turns out the sports Book was double dipping as

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Speaker 1: a homeless shelter, much to my amazement. Here we had

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Speaker 1: multiple transience who had wandered off Las Vegas Boulevard the

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Speaker 1: Strip and they were they were deep into You know,

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Speaker 1: there's different levels of anything. And those people that are

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Speaker 1: homeless that are living in their cars and they try

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Speaker 1: to take care of themselves and shower and do as

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Speaker 1: much as they can, and it's difficult. Then there's the

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Speaker 1: other group that is just let it go. And several

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Speaker 1: of those homeless folks, those poor chaps we're in the

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Speaker 1: sports book. One of them was sleeping, I fell asleep.

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Speaker 1: Another one was actually watching the games, but they both

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Speaker 1: wreaked of urine and uh it was I mean, Doc

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Speaker 1: Mike would have been in heaven, it would have been

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Speaker 1: shangra la for Doc, but for the rest of us,

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Speaker 1: it was like, holy crap, and what do we holy

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Speaker 1: can only haven't want to watch the games. I got

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Speaker 1: a little action on it, I got I got a

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Speaker 1: homeless city breaking out of here was like, stopped the

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Speaker 1: fuck up? Man, oh man, oh man. Now, eventually security

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Speaker 1: got over there, and it took it seemed like it

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Speaker 1: took like an hour for them to show up and

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Speaker 1: then move because legally there's a lot of hoops you

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Speaker 1: gotta jump through to get someone to leave the place.

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Speaker 1: So I did notice their technique, the securities technique, because

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Speaker 1: they were multiple homeless people there. So they asked the

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Speaker 1: homeless to head to wake him up, so that was

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Speaker 1: number one. Then they got a head, he got a

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Speaker 1: photo I D and uh. And then you know, most

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Speaker 1: hardcore homeless people don't have a photo I D. They're homeless.

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Speaker 1: They don't have an address anyway, so they didn't have

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Speaker 1: an I D. And they escorted them out to Las

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Speaker 1: Vegas Boulevard. However, in a matter of truth and reporting

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Speaker 1: here it turns out that you can take the homeless

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Speaker 1: person out of the sports book, but you cannot take

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Speaker 1: the smell out of the sports book that that was

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Speaker 1: still p you it's not it's Tony, No, it's real.

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Speaker 1: It didn't happen, it happened. I was there. I saw it. Uh.

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Speaker 1: It smelled like the men's room on a Jersey Turnpike

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Speaker 1: that hadn't been cleaned in like four or five days.

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Speaker 1: It was pretty crazy. And but I won my bets,

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Speaker 1: and so eventually I went up and took a shower

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Speaker 1: and the smell of pits went away. So there was that.

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Speaker 1: So that was a lot has happened since Robert de

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Speaker 1: naro A k Ace was kicked out of running the casino. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: things things have gotten a little bit different. The customer service. Uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm just I'm just saying, I'm just saying,

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Speaker 1: all right now, that was a shaky start to my

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Speaker 1: Vegas ship on Saturday, though Mallard travel log continues. Danny g.

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Speaker 1: On Saturday the highlight I went over to the Fremont

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Speaker 1: Street experienced. Now are you are you a big Fremont

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Speaker 1: Street experience guy? I know you went to Vegas a

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Speaker 1: few weeks ago. Yeah, you're talking old Vegas, oh, downtown Vegas. Yeah, No,

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Speaker 1: it reminds me too much of Reno and I need

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Speaker 1: a shower. Were immediately, Oh yeah, yeah, I love that.

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Speaker 1: Though I love that about it. It's very seedy. It's disgusting.

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Speaker 1: Now while the vast majority of people out of town

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Speaker 1: they go to Vegas, they all go to the Strip.

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Speaker 1: That's the experience they want to me. The real Vegas

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Speaker 1: is downtown Vegas. That's the real Vegas, that not the Strip.

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Speaker 1: And the Strip is great and all, and I usually

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Speaker 1: stay on the Strip, but I love downtown Veggas. That

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Speaker 1: area around the Golden Nugget. They got the zip line

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Speaker 1: going right down the street is a strippers booze, any

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Speaker 1: kind of pharmaceuticals you might need, degenerates, debauchery, but the

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Speaker 1: good times, well, it's like Venice Beach. If Venice Beach

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Speaker 1: had sex with Bourbon Street they had a baby, it

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Speaker 1: would be Old Vegas. It's like New York's Times Square

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Speaker 1: before they cleaned it up. Yeah, I went and how

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Speaker 1: all the peep shows and all that before Giuliani got

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Speaker 1: in there and cleaned up. But you know, it's it's uh,

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Speaker 1: it's a freak show. It's a carnival in in Fremont Street.

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Speaker 1: So I found free parking which I was happy about.

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Speaker 1: When I went over there, I was like, Oh, that's good.

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Speaker 1: That's we're off to a good start. And so I,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's winding around, and I love going to

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Speaker 1: the Golden Nugget. They have the coolest pool and if

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Speaker 1: you ever go to Vegas you have kids, they have

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Speaker 1: a slide that goes right through the pool, and they

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Speaker 1: have a tank. Obviously it's filled with like sharks and

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Speaker 1: you know, different kinds of fish, huge fish, and it's

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Speaker 1: really awesome. They did a tremendous job, and so I

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Speaker 1: always checked that out. And now the pool was closed

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Speaker 1: because it was cold in Vegas. But then as I

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Speaker 1: was walking out of the Golden Nugget, I saw the light.

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Speaker 1: I saw the light, Danny, I saw it. I witnessed it.

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Speaker 1: The brand new Circle Hotel. I didn't even know this

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Speaker 1: was a thing. I had been keeping up on Vegas,

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Speaker 1: but since the last time I was in Vegas, they

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Speaker 1: built this monstrosity of a hotel right across from the

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Speaker 1: Golden Nugget. Brand spanking new, and it's so immaculate that

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Speaker 1: they actually had a security guard checking your driver's license

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Speaker 1: to get in. I'm wearing a bathround. I did to

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Speaker 1: scan your driver's license. How crazy is that? Now? Did

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Speaker 1: it look out of place around the rest of the

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Speaker 1: older structures. Well, it was very large, and that caught

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Speaker 1: my attention, and it didn't look new, and I thought, well,

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Speaker 1: that's not something I normally see in this part of town.

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Speaker 1: So I normally, if I am asked to show my

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Speaker 1: ID to go and do a building, I'm not I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna do it. I was very reluctant to hand

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Speaker 1: over my driver's license. This is so stupid. So for

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Speaker 1: me to walk into a casino, I gotta show my

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Speaker 1: I D what is this? But I did? And uh,

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Speaker 1: I gotta tell you. I walked in. I didn't know

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Speaker 1: what to expect. They're like, welcome, Mr Miller. Eat well,

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Speaker 1: he exactly, Oh hey, Bill Miller. It was stunning, tip

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Speaker 1: top condition, spotless. Now, part of it might have been

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Speaker 1: that I had just walked through the Golden Nugget and

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Speaker 1: a couple of other hotels that I think we're last

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Speaker 1: updated in, so that might have been part of it.

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Speaker 1: But this thing was nuts so and uncontaminated by the

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Speaker 1: hoodlums outside the doors, the unwashed, and so I wandered around,

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Speaker 1: and I every corner I turned. I was like, wow,

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Speaker 1: this is this is really cool, and then I had

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Speaker 1: the Eureka moment there it was Casablanca, the Tabernacle. Uh,

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Speaker 1: this is the sports book. But not just a sports book, Danny,

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Speaker 1: this was a religious experience. Oh yes, this was a sanctuary,

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Speaker 1: this sports book. The video boards three stories high. I

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Speaker 1: sent out a photo on Twitter. Ye, this thing was amazing, Danny,

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Speaker 1: three stories high. It had the quality of so Fi

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Speaker 1: Stadium meets Jerry's world. As far as you know the scoreboard,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure Allegiance Stadium has a nic scoreboard. Two. I've

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Speaker 1: never been there. Uh, but stadium style seating that that

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Speaker 1: Musburger operation has studios there. Visten Baby, it was. It

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Speaker 1: was intense. I was only planning on just walking through

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Speaker 1: the hotel. I ended up staying there a couple of hours,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, how so enamored? I was like

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Speaker 1: watching hockey games I didn't care about. I watched a U.

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Speaker 1: C Irvine College basketball game shout out and Eaters that

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Speaker 1: I really didn't I would not have watched. But I

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Speaker 1: was like, Wow, this is amazing and it's so co

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Speaker 1: haveent app you can download because they only have the

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Speaker 1: audio for one of the games. There's every game you

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Speaker 1: could possibly want, and so there's an app you can

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Speaker 1: download and then listen to the different video feeds with

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Speaker 1: the audio. So nice. I mean, I I don't think

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Speaker 1: they spared an expense on anything. And I'm already thinking,

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Speaker 1: I when can I go back. I'm like, gotta, I

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Speaker 1: gotta go check that out. And I'll stay in that

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Speaker 1: part of Vegas and maybe I'll go over to the

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Speaker 1: Plaza or something like that, which I think is one

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Speaker 1: of the great spots for depression. And I like the Plaza.

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Speaker 1: But there's a Greyhound bus station at the Plaza, and

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Speaker 1: so you see people coming to Vegas on the Greyhound

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Speaker 1: bus that have their last like dollar in their pocket.

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Speaker 1: And then you see people leaving Vegas that have their

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Speaker 1: last dollar in their pocket. If you know what I'm saying, Danny, right,

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Speaker 1: I mean, this is uh never, it's not boring, it's

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Speaker 1: it's interesting. So the last I got a couple more

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Speaker 1: things here on the Mallard Travelogue. I know we're getting

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Speaker 1: a little long on this. Welcome to Suckersville. So over

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Speaker 1: the years, as you know, Danny, because I worked with

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Speaker 1: you for a long time, you know, I have ranted

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Speaker 1: about avoiding when you go to a place like Vegas.

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Speaker 1: You want to avoid being an easy mark. You don't

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Speaker 1: you want to be the sucker. And so I've done

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Speaker 1: p s A s on the radio. I've done interventions

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Speaker 1: and so I know a thing or two because we've

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Speaker 1: seen a thing or two over the years when it

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Speaker 1: comes to sports betting and gambling and all that, and

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Speaker 1: and many people are just reckless, and money management is

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Speaker 1: part of it, but the biggest thing is discipline and

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Speaker 1: keep your eye on the price. Don't be it. You

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Speaker 1: don't want to be a square. A square gambler is

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Speaker 1: an average, unsophisticated gambler who bets on hunches and you

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Speaker 1: know whatever Skip Bayliss or stephen A. Smith say, They're like,

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00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 1: all right, he thinks this is gonna happen. So you

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Speaker 1: bet on that where they have some kind of system

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00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:57,399
Speaker 1: or something like that, and the mathematical advantage that the

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Speaker 1: sports book has, you have no chance of winning if

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Speaker 1: you're like uh. And the people who run those sports

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Speaker 1: books love the person who's the square gambler because they

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Speaker 1: know they're gonna win in the end. And there's like

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00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 1: there's three types of people that bet money in a

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Speaker 1: sports book. Uh, there's the square gambler who has no information,

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Speaker 1: there's the better who has some information, and then there's

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Speaker 1: the wager slash cartel that has all the information. But

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Speaker 1: I'm more of like a better. I have some information,

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00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:29,679
Speaker 1: but I don't have all the information. Uh. And I

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Speaker 1: wish I was a wager or an insider part of

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Speaker 1: a conglomerate that has all the information. But anyway, so

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Speaker 1: the reason I'm bringing this up day so I the

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00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 1: buddy I came with, who is I've known for a

395
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Speaker 1: long time and he's a big fan of mixed martial arts.

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Speaker 1: This is his thing. He loves the m M A world.

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Speaker 1: That's his jam. He's Mr UFC. So there was a

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Speaker 1: big UFC card, not even really a big card. It

399
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:58,280
Speaker 1: was a small card. I guess they have it every

400
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 1: weekend at the training facility in Vegas. It's on pay

401
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,960
Speaker 1: per view, so you can bet on all these fights,

402
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:07,080
Speaker 1: and we were kind of pulling together our money a

403
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Speaker 1: little bit, just have some fun. Some of the money.

404
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,879
Speaker 1: My strategy was to bet the only the games I

405
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:17,480
Speaker 1: really strong opinion on and only make single wagers because

406
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:20,080
Speaker 1: that's the way to make money. You make three wagers

407
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Speaker 1: you win two out of three, you've made money, or

408
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 1: three out of five, but I recommend three two out

409
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,639
Speaker 1: of three you win money. Yeah, you're not doings. No,

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Speaker 1: I don't do parleys. Parley's a sucker bet, so I

411
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Speaker 1: don't do it anyway. So that's just me. So I

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Speaker 1: went three and oh, I I bet the Mavericks, the Clippers,

413
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Speaker 1: I bet the Grizzlies and they all either one outright

414
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 1: and covered or just cover the spread. So my pals like,

415
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Speaker 1: you know what, I want to bet the UFC, my buddy,

416
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Speaker 1: and so he said, I'm gonna do three round robin

417
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:54,119
Speaker 1: parlay bets on the UFC. I'm like exactly. So the

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Speaker 1: biggest pitfall with parlays is that, as you know, the

419
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Speaker 1: very risk, are you gonna win all of the bets?

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Speaker 1: If any one of the games loses, the entire bet

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Speaker 1: goes down the toilet. The odds are not in your favor.

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Speaker 1: And the casino loves to promote when somebody hits a

423
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 1: parlay because they know they're gonna get their money back

424
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 1: tenfold with other people thinking they're gonna hit their parlays,

425
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:17,359
Speaker 1: and so they don't mind when people win the parlay

426
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 1: because oftentimes they don't get to the point. Please. So

427
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 1: my my buddies like, yeah, around Robin, it's a little

428
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 1: different around what is around Robin Parley. It's it's kind

429
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,160
Speaker 1: of like mitigating the risk, they claim, hedging the bed

430
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,440
Speaker 1: a little bit, so you don't have to win all

431
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 1: the bets, but you gotta win most of them. In

432
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 1: my pal, he's bragging me about he knows everything like

433
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:43,320
Speaker 1: buddies with Dana White. He knows everything going on. He

434
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:46,240
Speaker 1: knew all the fighters, he knew their backstory, he knew

435
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,960
Speaker 1: their strength, their weaknesses. He was telling me. It was

436
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 1: the funniest thing, Danny, because pretty much before every single

437
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:57,359
Speaker 1: fight he was telling me what was happening or what

438
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:01,920
Speaker 1: was gonna happen. And then within about three minutes, the

439
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,159
Speaker 1: thing that he had said was going to happen, the

440
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 1: opposite happen, and Uh it was. I was. I was.

441
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 1: I was upset we lost, but I was happy because

442
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,520
Speaker 1: I just goofed on him the rest of the trip

443
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:17,200
Speaker 1: to Vegas. I was like, you were such a loser. Uh.

444
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 1: He lost every one of those random around Robin Park

445
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:25,040
Speaker 1: recooting Danny one. He had been a minus seven hundred favorite,

446
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 1: a minus seven hundred favorite mathematically is as close to

447
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,640
Speaker 1: a sure thing as you can get. And the guy

448
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 1: lost tapped out. The guy even tapped out, Wow, yeah, basically,

449
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 1: you should have just faded your friend and you would

450
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:46,440
Speaker 1: have won some money. Yeah, yeah, that would have been good.

451
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,120
Speaker 1: And I'm like, and he was ripping me because he said,

452
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:51,120
Speaker 1: you shoot it on a parlor. Because I did three

453
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:52,680
Speaker 1: games and I won all three. I said, well, no,

454
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 1: it's not the point. I'm doing a parlay. I don't

455
00:26:56,480 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 1: believe in the parlay. I'm anti parlay. I was the

456
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:03,240
Speaker 1: whole thing. But anyway, so he got destroyed by the

457
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,359
Speaker 1: round robin. Now some other random things real quick, some

458
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,800
Speaker 1: huh if you will, the the the finish of the

459
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 1: Vegas travel log. Here the odds and ends from the trip.

460
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,200
Speaker 1: So a couple of the things that stood out Danny

461
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 1: on the travel log here, I found eighty dollars on

462
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 1: the floor at the Aria Sports Book, which I stopped by.

463
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 1: But here's the deal. So I found a lot of

464
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 1: eighty dollar bills on the floor, and I'm like, oh man,

465
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 1: but I'm with my buddy and I'm thinking, I won't

466
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:37,239
Speaker 1: wait a minute, what's what do you do? You're in

467
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 1: a casino. There are cameras everywhere, and is that my money?

468
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:46,119
Speaker 1: Do I turn that in? Am I in trouble if

469
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 1: I take that money? Like all this is going through

470
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 1: my head, I'm like, can you be arrested for that?

471
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 1: I'm like, I found it. If I'm outside and I

472
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,919
Speaker 1: found money on the street, you know it's found money.

473
00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:02,359
Speaker 1: So what I decided to do. He had my buddy

474
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:04,800
Speaker 1: pick up the cash, and I said, you know we're

475
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,359
Speaker 1: gonna do. We're gonna sit here. We're watching some college basketball.

476
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:12,040
Speaker 1: I think Auburn was playing, and I said, what we're

477
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,040
Speaker 1: gonna do here is we're gonna we canna put this

478
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,760
Speaker 1: money down and we're gonna wait for an hour, and

479
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 1: if nobody shows up here in an hour, it's our money.

480
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: I thought that was fair, right, I thought that was

481
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:27,120
Speaker 1: fair because if you handle water cash to somebody behind

482
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 1: the counter and say I found this on the floor,

483
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,399
Speaker 1: what are they gonna do. They're gonna put it in

484
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 1: their own pocket exactly. Uh So, anyway, I sat there

485
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 1: and we waited, and uh, well, it turns out the

486
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 1: guy showed up said, hey, see my money. I dropped

487
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 1: dropped my money in. So it turned out to be

488
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 1: my good mitzvah of the that's some good karma that

489
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 1: will hopefully come back to you. Yeah, that's what I thought.

490
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 1: I thought it was good karma, so why not. I'd

491
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 1: also like to take shots at Lizzo. Um, she has

492
00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 1: ruined the Vegas experience. Lizzo. Uh, terrible, terrible. And now

493
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 1: I'm not a proud Danny. You know, I'm not approved.

494
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:09,040
Speaker 1: I'm not people think I'm approved. I'm not approved. Okay,

495
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 1: but my goodness, all right, some of the things I saw, Danny,

496
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 1: I wanted to pour bleach in my eyes and I

497
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 1: saw these things. It was my god. Uh. And I

498
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 1: call this the Lizzo effect, is what I call this.

499
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 1: And there were some some people walking around, most women

500
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 1: who were wandering around. No shame in their game, Danny,

501
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 1: you know, no shame in their game. And it is

502
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 1: the Lizzo effect. Rocking the rolls, rocking the rolls. It's

503
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 1: like if you put a thong on a on a

504
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,560
Speaker 1: cow and you had the cow walk through the casine.

505
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 1: But the thing that blew me away. You know, I'm

506
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 1: a big guy, and I've lost some weight and I

507
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 1: still I don't remember my fattest. I was always so

508
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 1: self conscious. When I would go anywhere, I'm still self conscious,

509
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 1: and I'd always be like, oh, I'm so ugly, and

510
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:06,840
Speaker 1: that nobody wants to look at me. And that's why

511
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 1: I wear extra layers of clothes because I felt like

512
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 1: that was appropriate because I was a large act and

513
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 1: these women and it's I believe it's Lizzo, the Lizzo effect.

514
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,600
Speaker 1: Be proud of yourself and all that they're walking around

515
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:21,000
Speaker 1: there and they're wearing the kind of stuff that you

516
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 1: would see at a beach. If you know, if you

517
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,880
Speaker 1: have a hundred and ten pound body and you're you know,

518
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 1: five nine, you know, it's unbelievable. Now, am I a

519
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 1: bad guy, Danny for pointing this out? Am I a

520
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 1: bad guy for pointing this out? And then I wasn't

521
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 1: blown away by the confidence. That was like, amazing thing.

522
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:45,479
Speaker 1: Where do these people get this confidence? Shocking? No, you

523
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 1: could still be proud of yourself without having to put

524
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 1: on display what looks like a popped Pilsberry canister that's

525
00:30:56,320 --> 00:31:00,160
Speaker 1: cranked open. It was like some dough. You'd get the

526
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:02,760
Speaker 1: tube and you popped it open and it was just

527
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 1: going everywhere. Yeah, it was. It was crazy and it

528
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 1: was like all weekend. It was all and it started

529
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 1: about seven o'clock. We were only had a few days.

530
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 1: But at seven o'clock at night when they know everyone

531
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:16,120
Speaker 1: be coming down to go drinking and whatever they're doing.

532
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 1: I've never seen this before. It's amazing to me. And

533
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:25,480
Speaker 1: you know, it's like wow, stuff you you can't unsee. Uh.

534
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 1: There were there are also a lot of professionals walking around.

535
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 1: Danny is in Vegas known for the professional working woman.

536
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 1: And when I say working women, they were really working

537
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:37,160
Speaker 1: it working in the casino for I have noticed though

538
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:40,960
Speaker 1: this happened years ago, so it hasn't changed normally, the

539
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 1: professional working woman has determined that prime real estate is

540
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 1: about one to two in the morning at the casino.

541
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:53,360
Speaker 1: That's when they're wandering around. And I treated this thing

542
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 1: like I was like at the zoo. I I was

543
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:59,240
Speaker 1: sitting in the casino and I was just people watching

544
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 1: and and I was like it was like it was awesome.

545
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 1: I really enjoyed it. I saw a lot of young

546
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 1: people have a great time. I saw people that were

547
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:12,720
Speaker 1: my age or older that were completely slashed having a

548
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 1: good time. And I saw the hookers. Uh, a lot

549
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 1: of the Lizzo crowd and a lot of a lot

550
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 1: of guys, a lot of dudes that thought they were

551
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:25,360
Speaker 1: in the Hangover movie. That's also annoying. I blame the

552
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 1: Hangover movie for that. They all think they've got Mike

553
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:31,200
Speaker 1: Tyson and a tiger in the room and I could

554
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:35,480
Speaker 1: do without that. But it's that famous hookers and cocaine

555
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 1: drop we use on your show come to life. Oh totally, totally.

556
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 1: It's like, whoa, this is unbelievable when I'm seeing now

557
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 1: the final part of this. So uh. On the way back,

558
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:51,480
Speaker 1: there's kind of a tradition. I have done the trip

559
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 1: to Vegas many times and on the way back, I

560
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,600
Speaker 1: always stopped in Prim and I stopped there on the

561
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 1: way there, but we just went into the sports book

562
00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:01,800
Speaker 1: and that's They have a big mall, this massive mall

563
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 1: and Prim right on the Nevada California border. So I

564
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 1: stopped and I walked in there, and I thought I

565
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:14,200
Speaker 1: was in an episode of the Twilight Zone. I was like,

566
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 1: what the hell happened. I've just been here a few

567
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:23,760
Speaker 1: years ago, Danny, this mall it was closed, and I

568
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 1: am not kidding, I'm not exaggerating. This is a multimillion

569
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 1: dollar outlet. Shopping center enclosed in the Nevada desert, and

570
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 1: out of this massive mall, there were maybe three stores

571
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 1: that were open. Maybe three stores that were open. That's nuts,

572
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 1: because I remember in the late nineties that outlet you're

573
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:51,400
Speaker 1: talking about. It was jumping, yes, yeah, and I always

574
00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 1: gone there. They had a couple of stores I liked.

575
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 1: They had the shirts I could get for pretty cheap

576
00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:58,240
Speaker 1: compared to other places, and so they had a big

577
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 1: food court and all this stuff. Food court was completely closed.

578
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:06,640
Speaker 1: It was sad. I was like, this is I felt

579
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 1: like I was in an abandoned mall and like there

580
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:12,799
Speaker 1: had been some kind of accident somewhere the reactor and

581
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 1: everyone had left and they had just left everything there

582
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 1: and I was completely abandoned. It was just like a

583
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 1: nuclear COVID reaction. Yeah, it was well, I don't know.

584
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:26,680
Speaker 1: I looked online. I tried to find out what happened.

585
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 1: I couldn't really find anything other than the mall had

586
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:33,880
Speaker 1: fallen into bankruptcy and had been sold at auction, so

587
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:37,680
Speaker 1: that might have led to something plus COVID. For about

588
00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:39,879
Speaker 1: a year and a half, not many people were making

589
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:44,759
Speaker 1: the drive from Vegas or from California to Vegas, so

590
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 1: you still got rent to pay and all that. That's

591
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:52,120
Speaker 1: probably part of it, a big part of it. But man,

592
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 1: oh man, that was that was insane. That was insane.

593
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,399
Speaker 1: And I didn't stop in in Barstow in the way

594
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 1: back and walked into the Barstow Del Taco. Oh, the

595
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:08,480
Speaker 1: o g a staple. It's different than all other Del tacos.

596
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,359
Speaker 1: So I did that. But the stuff more beans into

597
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 1: the burritos. Yes, a few more beans. Bean tastic. And

598
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 1: so that was some of the highlights of the trip.

599
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 1: It takes seven hours to get back. I stopped a

600
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:25,200
Speaker 1: couple of times. With seven hours to get back, I

601
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:28,839
Speaker 1: could have flown to New York or Boston and been

602
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:32,920
Speaker 1: halfway back by the time I got home. But that's it.

603
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:36,239
Speaker 1: So kids say the darnedest things, Danny, kids say the

604
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 1: darnedest things, don't. Yeah, this past Wednesday, I and I've

605
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:44,959
Speaker 1: talked about the after school program that I'm helping during

606
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:48,440
Speaker 1: the week. It starts with the afternoon portion of the

607
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 1: shift starts with eating lunch with the kids, or I'm

608
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:55,280
Speaker 1: not actually eating but kind of supervising as the kids

609
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:58,000
Speaker 1: eat their lunches. Now you sitting with them are you

610
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,360
Speaker 1: hanging with him? Are you standing off the side? What

611
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 1: do you know? I hang with them? Uh? You know

612
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:07,120
Speaker 1: some of the some of the school employees have different

613
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:09,760
Speaker 1: ways they go about it. Some stand off to the side,

614
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 1: some sit down and eat their own lunch with the kids. Me.

615
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 1: I'm the entertainment. I've told the kids jokes, I've done

616
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:22,760
Speaker 1: physical comedy. Uh. It's all in the name of making

617
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:25,919
Speaker 1: the kids smile as they eat their food. So you'll

618
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 1: be the cool guy when they're grown up. So remember

619
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:32,439
Speaker 1: that Danny g That guy was so cool. In fact,

620
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:34,320
Speaker 1: when I when I walk up, a few of the

621
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:37,959
Speaker 1: kids say, oh, there's Mr Funny. Mr Funny is here.

622
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's a good thing or not

623
00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:44,480
Speaker 1: called I do. I amuse you? How am I funny?

624
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 1: So I walk up to the tables on Wednesday, and

625
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:52,480
Speaker 1: there's a little girl named Aria, five year old, who

626
00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:56,040
Speaker 1: loves this little bit I do. Where these kids, A

627
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 1: lot of them have the string cheese and their lunch.

628
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 1: So I'll take to string cheese and I pretend like

629
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:06,880
Speaker 1: I'm in a rock band and I'm a drummer with

630
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:10,279
Speaker 1: the string cheese sticks. I drum on their head. I

631
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:14,600
Speaker 1: drum on lunchboxes. Basically, I'm looking for the best you know,

632
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 1: drum kit in the vicinity, and the kids get a

633
00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 1: kick out of it. Two big tables of these kindergarteners.

634
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,880
Speaker 1: And I also do this thing where I point, like

635
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:28,359
Speaker 1: I'm in the rock band sitting behind the drum kit,

636
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 1: and I think the city we're in, I'll point and

637
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:36,160
Speaker 1: I'll say, thank you, Detroit, You've been wonderful tonight. And

638
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:39,640
Speaker 1: I flipped the drumstick, which is the cheese string. The

639
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 1: string cheese way up into the air. It's flipping high

640
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:45,600
Speaker 1: in the sky. Yeah, it comes down, and if I

641
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 1: was a professional drummer, I would catch it right, but no, instead,

642
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 1: this thing will usually hit me in the head or

643
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:57,359
Speaker 1: fall behind me. And the kids are laughing hysterically as

644
00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 1: they just think it's the funniest thing because I can't

645
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 1: catch my drumstick. Yeah yeah, yeah sure. So every day

646
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 1: they're like, do the drumstick thing, do the drumstick thing. Well,

647
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:12,480
Speaker 1: there's two other school employees out there on Wednesday. One

648
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:18,960
Speaker 1: of them is a Lizzo grump Lizzo uh, and she's

649
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:22,279
Speaker 1: standing out there with a you know, sour look on

650
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:25,239
Speaker 1: her face. It looked like she wasn't ready for the day.

651
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:29,200
Speaker 1: But I get called to the classroom, so I'm like,

652
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:32,680
Speaker 1: okay on the walkie talkie. So I go to the classroom.

653
00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:35,880
Speaker 1: There's some business for me to handle there. I leave.

654
00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:40,040
Speaker 1: I go back to the benches and Aria is sitting there.

655
00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:44,760
Speaker 1: She's read just red as a beat. She looks piste

656
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:48,279
Speaker 1: off piste at the world. What happened? What's wrong? And

657
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:57,799
Speaker 1: she's like, that mean lady took my drumstick away from me. So, oh,

658
00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:01,520
Speaker 1: what trouble did I cause? Because is this lady's now

659
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:05,840
Speaker 1: giving me the stink? I too? Oh, she's she's jealous

660
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 1: because the kids like you. Is that what this is?

661
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 1: This sounds like jealousy to me. Well, I think that's

662
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:13,840
Speaker 1: part of it. But what happened is while I was

663
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:17,839
Speaker 1: away at the classroom, Aria decided she would fill in

664
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:23,400
Speaker 1: for my stand up comedy routine. Aria took the drumstick

665
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:27,440
Speaker 1: ak string cheese and was flipping it high in the

666
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,840
Speaker 1: sky and letting it come down on her head and

667
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:35,160
Speaker 1: she was getting the laughter. Oh that's great. So she's

668
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:38,040
Speaker 1: she learned by osmosis by but you know, around you,

669
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 1: and she said, I want to be the person everyone

670
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:44,920
Speaker 1: laughs at it like we were in the groundlings together

671
00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:50,319
Speaker 1: and I trained her. Unfortunately, one of the school employees

672
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 1: walked over and told her, why are you throwing string

673
00:39:54,800 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 1: cheese boom? And she she tried to explain, I'm playing

674
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:05,480
Speaker 1: the drums. Danny plays the drums. I'm trying to do

675
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:09,319
Speaker 1: it like him. This employee has no idea what she's

676
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:12,759
Speaker 1: talking about, takes the string cheese stick away from her.

677
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:18,280
Speaker 1: She now sitting there just furious. I told the other adult,

678
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:21,279
Speaker 1: I said, oh, well, it's a thing I do. You

679
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:23,719
Speaker 1: know they're sitting down, but I make them smile. But

680
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:27,399
Speaker 1: I told Maria, I said, hey, you know it's your

681
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:31,400
Speaker 1: job to eat lunch. Though. Yeah, she wasn't having it.

682
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 1: She was still sitting there, super mad. And finally the

683
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:39,839
Speaker 1: adult came back over to her and said, here it is.

684
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 1: String cheese was in this lady's hand. She said, you

685
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,319
Speaker 1: have two options. You can either eat this or I'm

686
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 1: gonna throw it away in the trash can. And the

687
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:53,040
Speaker 1: little girl said, I don't want to eat it, I

688
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:59,279
Speaker 1: want to play drums with it. Well, the adult was

689
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:03,239
Speaker 1: not having this, so she walks away and I'm like, wow,

690
00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 1: we're at an impass here. This is gonna be an

691
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:09,759
Speaker 1: exciting finish. So now lunch is getting wrapped up. Most

692
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 1: of the kids are packing their lunch boxes away. This

693
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 1: lady comes wandering back over to our table and Maria

694
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:20,239
Speaker 1: says to her, can I please have my string cheese now?

695
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:26,080
Speaker 1: The adult says, no, I threw it away, and she's like,

696
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:28,719
Speaker 1: you did what. I threw it in the trash. Can

697
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:31,040
Speaker 1: I told you you could eat it or I throw

698
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:36,320
Speaker 1: it away? And you said, so I threw it away. Ben,

699
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 1: look on this little girl's face was like somebody kicked

700
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:47,759
Speaker 1: her puppy. She was devastated. Yeah, I shure you not,

701
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:52,840
Speaker 1: she says to the adult employee. I was gonna save

702
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:55,760
Speaker 1: that and eat it in the car as a snack

703
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:59,600
Speaker 1: after my mom picked me up from school, but instead

704
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 1: you ruined my life. That it's great. She said it

705
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:14,719
Speaker 1: with so much conviction and so loudly that the other

706
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:17,600
Speaker 1: adults turned around, all the kids turned around, and we're

707
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:19,840
Speaker 1: looking at her. It was like a state of the

708
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 1: Union from a five year old. That is wonderful. It

709
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:27,560
Speaker 1: was awesome. For the rest of the day, I was

710
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:31,160
Speaker 1: torturing that adult anytime she was anywhere near me, I said,

711
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 1: what's up? Are you doing life ruin her Ah, that

712
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:42,239
Speaker 1: is outstanding out stay, I love it. I love it.

713
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:44,600
Speaker 1: I mean you probably get stories like that every week

714
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 1: with these kids, right man. You know, I have to

715
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:50,719
Speaker 1: come up with new material every week because the the

716
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:54,760
Speaker 1: drum kit thing, that's just from like the past seven

717
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:57,880
Speaker 1: days probably, and seven days prior to that, it was

718
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 1: another routine I was doing. The kids. You gotta switch

719
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:03,719
Speaker 1: it up. You know, they get bored. Ye're gonna do

720
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:06,719
Speaker 1: the same comedy act. It's not gonna work. It's a

721
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:09,279
Speaker 1: lot of pressure because I have to constantly come up

722
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 1: with new material. Well yeah, because if you're a comedian

723
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:15,920
Speaker 1: on the road, you go from Cleveland to Detroit, Cincinnati

724
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 1: or whatever, you can do the same act, but the

725
00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:21,920
Speaker 1: same kids. Man, in the attention span of kids, you

726
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:23,839
Speaker 1: don't have a lot of time to play with hunt

727
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:26,959
Speaker 1: and they're a tough crowd. If you suck, If you suck,

728
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:30,760
Speaker 1: they tell you suck. They're not gonna hold back. Uh. Well,

729
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:34,280
Speaker 1: unfortunately we don't suck. Dani. We mentioned if you guys

730
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:36,799
Speaker 1: review the podcast, the Fifth Hour Podcast. I know we're

731
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 1: short on time here, but if you review the Fifth

732
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 1: Hour podcast, we will read it on this show. So

733
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:44,359
Speaker 1: we got three more reviews this week. Go to the

734
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:48,359
Speaker 1: Apple podcast page for the fifth hour and that helps

735
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:51,799
Speaker 1: us out a lot. And you know you scratch our back,

736
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:56,880
Speaker 1: We'll scratch your back. So Marina Chef wrote, one hour

737
00:43:57,120 --> 00:44:02,439
Speaker 1: too many, Sometimes one more thing can go bad. It's

738
00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:05,400
Speaker 1: just going to be filled with tennis, soccer and Olympic

739
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 1: events and no callers. What an abomination. He gave us

740
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:10,800
Speaker 1: five stars for that, so he was he was busting

741
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:14,360
Speaker 1: our balls there he likes was a little joke. Neil

742
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:17,560
Speaker 1: from I Think this is our buddy. Neil from Miami says,

743
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:20,240
Speaker 1: the two point oh version of the show is on point,

744
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 1: no fake applause anymore. The refreshed post guests gand applause

745
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:31,320
Speaker 1: era is as or more entertaining than the O G show.

746
00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:36,319
Speaker 1: Danny G brings the thunder and bends the lightning. That's

747
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:41,080
Speaker 1: from Neil, thank you for that fur Dog from Fullerton

748
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:44,040
Speaker 1: Rights in Orange County, he wrote a review. He said,

749
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:48,120
Speaker 1: better than Goodaiva chocolate. Great show if you want to

750
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:51,080
Speaker 1: listen to King Ben eight days a week, which doesn't

751
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:53,560
Speaker 1: make sense no matter how he tries to explain it.

752
00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:56,000
Speaker 1: So but all these guys gave us five stars, so

753
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:58,880
Speaker 1: thank you. And if you want us to read your review,

754
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:02,520
Speaker 1: post one on the Apple podcast page for the fifth hour,

755
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:04,840
Speaker 1: and we will do it. We gotta get out of here.

756
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:08,520
Speaker 1: We get the mailbag on Sunday. Danny looking forward to that. Yes, yeah,

757
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:10,759
Speaker 1: I can't wait for Sunday. All right, we'll talk to

758
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:12,520
Speaker 1: you then I gotta murder. I gotta go.