WEBVTT - GECKMAIL: I LEFT MY GF TO TRAVEL 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:04.000 Hello, people of Earth and any other planets where this 0:00:04.080 --> 0:00:08.200 podcast might be being listened to. This is Gek Mail. 0:00:08.320 --> 0:00:10.480 This is a version of this show that I do 0:00:10.600 --> 0:00:14.560 sometimes where I just talk into a camera alone in 0:00:14.600 --> 0:00:16.800 a room for an hour. Did I say a camera, 0:00:16.840 --> 0:00:19.640 I meant a microphone, although some cameras have microphones, if 0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:23.800 not most cameras. And you know, yeah, so it's a podcast. 0:00:23.800 --> 0:00:27.240 I make little observations like that. It's exciting, it's fun. 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:31.040 I read viewer mails. Some people like to call the 0:00:31.080 --> 0:00:33.560 show to talk about things going on in their life. 0:00:33.600 --> 0:00:36.480 Some people like to email the show with things going 0:00:36.479 --> 0:00:38.519 on in their life. So I'm going to read some 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:45.080 of those emails. How am I doing. I'm doing pretty good. 0:00:47.360 --> 0:00:52.120 I'm going to Iraq tomorrow. Well you'll hear this podcast 0:00:52.920 --> 0:00:58.120 on Wednesday, but today I'm recording this. On Saturday, September 0:00:58.160 --> 0:01:03.120 twenty seventh, I'm making my next documentary. I've talked about 0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:05.120 this on the show before, but I'm making one little 0:01:05.160 --> 0:01:12.440 documentary Gecko video a month, and I'm doing the October 0:01:12.480 --> 0:01:16.720 one is going to be being a Gecko in Baghdad. 0:01:17.800 --> 0:01:22.400 I have no further information, but I'm leaving on a 0:01:22.440 --> 0:01:28.399 plane to go to Baghdad in about eight hours, and 0:01:29.040 --> 0:01:32.400 I feel great about it. I'm excited. I'm going to 0:01:32.440 --> 0:01:35.720 meet up with my buddy Muhammad that I met on 0:01:35.880 --> 0:01:41.760 Instagram and uh, we're if as the more as of 0:01:43.000 --> 0:01:44.960 let's see. Yeah, by the time this episode comes out, 0:01:45.000 --> 0:01:49.840 I'll be there walking around talking to people. I'm excited. 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:52.200 Every time I tell people I've been, I haven't. This 0:01:52.280 --> 0:01:53.960 is I think the first time I've really talked about 0:01:54.000 --> 0:01:56.840 it on the show that I'm going. But when I 0:01:56.880 --> 0:02:01.440 tell people that I'm going, they're like, that's crazy. But 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:03.600 I don't know, man, they got it. They have Johnny 0:02:03.640 --> 0:02:07.800 Rockets there, they have the American burger chain Johnny Rockets, 0:02:07.800 --> 0:02:10.080 they have a Burger King, they have some coffee shops. 0:02:10.120 --> 0:02:12.400 I mean, you look at it and it looks like 0:02:12.440 --> 0:02:16.200 any other place. It looks like any other place. That's 0:02:16.200 --> 0:02:18.880 really how I feel is that everywhere is I mean 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:23.440 not literally everywhere. There's places that are different, but pretty 0:02:23.480 --> 0:02:27.120 much everywhere is just there's people there and they're and 0:02:27.160 --> 0:02:33.680 they're doing the things that humans do. We're biologically programmed 0:02:33.919 --> 0:02:38.000 to eat food, be with other people of our species, 0:02:38.360 --> 0:02:42.480 and have sex. So people in Iraq they're doing that 0:02:43.400 --> 0:02:49.120 just like we do it in Ohio and in Uzbekistan 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:53.760 and in California and in Brazil. I don't know. Everywhere 0:02:53.880 --> 0:02:57.080 is just every everywhere and everything's the same. That's what 0:02:57.120 --> 0:02:59.320 I've learned from I don't know if Anthony Bourdain talked 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:02.160 about that on any of his travels. I don't know 0:03:02.200 --> 0:03:04.200 if I believe that's true. And I actually, I actually 0:03:04.240 --> 0:03:07.280 don't think everywhere and everything is the same. I don't, 0:03:07.320 --> 0:03:10.600 but I think there's core similarities to places and things 0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:17.760 that I think more places are similar than they are different. 0:03:17.880 --> 0:03:19.960 But I don't want to wax poetic for too long. 0:03:20.040 --> 0:03:22.760 That's where I'm going. I'm going there in eight hours. 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:25.160 I'll be there by the time you're listening to this, 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:28.160 so be on the lookout for that. When I get back, 0:03:28.160 --> 0:03:30.720 I'm gonna edit that shit and hopefully i'll have the 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:35.279 video ready to show you guys by the end of October. 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:39.040 So that's what's going on with me. I'm hot off 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:43.880 of ivants, I'm up, I'm down, I'm left, I'm right. 0:03:46.520 --> 0:03:49.440 That's what's going on with me. I'm trying to maintain 0:03:49.480 --> 0:03:58.040 a consistent mood throughout the day, and I'm excited. Let's 0:03:58.080 --> 0:04:00.240 read some emails, and then I don't have any. I 0:04:00.240 --> 0:04:01.800 don't have a lot more else to say about myself. 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:07.920 Let's read some emails. Okay, this is from uh Alex. 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:14.560 Subject line life update. We've never spoken before, but sometimes 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:17.360 life is good. Okay. I guess you can have an 0:04:17.440 --> 0:04:21.039 update with somebody that you've never spoken to before, you know, 0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:26.200 like an initial update. Okay, what's up, Lyle? Good luck? 0:04:26.839 --> 0:04:28.719 So what's up? What's up? Lyle? I hope you're having 0:04:28.760 --> 0:04:31.640 a good time on your travels. I wrote you before 0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:34.800 and did not burn my journals, but still can't bring 0:04:34.839 --> 0:04:38.040 myself to write for nothing, so I'll write to you instead. 0:04:38.400 --> 0:04:41.719 Was this a person who wrote to me before? Maybe? Okay? 0:04:41.720 --> 0:04:46.320 All right. I wanted to celebrate doing something I've never 0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:48.760 done before earlier this month and the joy it brought 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:53.279 to me. Background. I upended my life and moved back 0:04:53.320 --> 0:04:56.680 home seven months ago, have no friends, etc. One of 0:04:56.720 --> 0:04:59.960 my favorite bands released an album this month, and I decided, 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:03.240 after much anxiety, to go to an early listening party 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:05.640 at a record store in my area. I like that 0:05:06.200 --> 0:05:09.600 I already had one loan ticket to see their show, 0:05:10.240 --> 0:05:12.360 so I figured I could handle this and didn't want 0:05:12.360 --> 0:05:15.560 to miss the free stuff I got. I haven't done 0:05:15.600 --> 0:05:19.000 anything for myself in months, So anyway, I went, got 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:23.080 my posters signed h signed up for some give Oh wait, no, 0:05:23.200 --> 0:05:27.880 I went, got posters, signed up for giveaways. Disassociated a bit, 0:05:28.279 --> 0:05:31.640 but loved the special experience that it was. I was 0:05:31.680 --> 0:05:34.240 on the train home when they called and they said 0:05:34.279 --> 0:05:37.599 I won two free tickets to the show Parentheses. I 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:42.800 didn't win shit. Oh okay, wait, oh no, no, no, no, no, 0:05:42.960 --> 0:05:46.200 sorry sorry it says parentheses. I don't win shit. Okay, 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:48.480 so they did win the tickets. They won the tickets, 0:05:48.520 --> 0:05:51.359 but they believe that they do not win in general. Okay, 0:05:52.160 --> 0:05:54.800 they won the tickets. I feel like the universe was 0:05:54.839 --> 0:05:57.279 giving me a little pad on the back for finally 0:05:57.360 --> 0:06:00.279 going outside. I gave the tickets to my mom and 0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:02.599 little brother and got to watch the opener with them. 0:06:02.839 --> 0:06:05.039 They loved the show almost as much as I did. 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:08.880 That's nice. All this to say, I hate that. You're right. 0:06:09.400 --> 0:06:11.800 All we have to do is leave the goddamn house 0:06:11.839 --> 0:06:15.800 sometimes and good things might happen. Usually not every time, 0:06:15.920 --> 0:06:17.440 but it might be worth it just to see what 0:06:17.480 --> 0:06:20.039 the hell is out there. Thanks for making a lot 0:06:20.080 --> 0:06:22.320 of people feel less lonely and making us laugh. Keep 0:06:22.360 --> 0:06:24.719 on getting from Alex. There we go I like this. 0:06:25.160 --> 0:06:27.240 I like this. I don't shut up about it. I 0:06:27.279 --> 0:06:30.960 talk about it all the time. But I just had 0:06:30.960 --> 0:06:36.200 a friend stay with me over the weekend and he 0:06:36.279 --> 0:06:39.880 told me a story. He was like, he was kind 0:06:39.880 --> 0:06:41.719 of he was like, this was like back when he 0:06:41.760 --> 0:06:50.000 was in college. He was like swiping on Tinder, and 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:53.440 he was like, you know, we all remember being in 0:06:53.440 --> 0:06:55.720 college swiping on Tinder. Maybe some of us still are 0:06:55.720 --> 0:06:58.599 in college swiping on Tinder. And he runs out of 0:06:58.640 --> 0:07:01.080 swipes and he's like, I'm not gonna pay for marse 0:07:01.120 --> 0:07:03.680 wipes and he's and he gets no, he's no matches, right, 0:07:03.839 --> 0:07:08.960 no matches maybe like one match. Feeling like shit, feeling 0:07:09.040 --> 0:07:13.400 like he's worth nothing, and no one wants to talk 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:19.320 to him, you know. So anyway, uh, he he gets 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:22.920 there's this like a fucking DJ in town. He wants 0:07:22.960 --> 0:07:26.080 to go see. He messages like ten friends, Hey, you 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:27.960 want to go with me to this DJ thing? None 0:07:28.000 --> 0:07:30.040 of all of them are busy. None of them responds, 0:07:30.960 --> 0:07:34.320 So he's like, fuck it, I'm gonna go. He goes, 0:07:35.520 --> 0:07:40.200 He meets some lady there, they make out, He goes 0:07:40.240 --> 0:07:44.320 into the mosh pit, they make out again. He goes 0:07:44.360 --> 0:07:47.520 back home in an uber and he's like, wow, I'm 0:07:47.560 --> 0:07:50.520 I'm the king of the fucking universe. You know. I 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:56.760 know that's maybe that's not u a very detailed story, 0:07:57.120 --> 0:07:59.320 but he likes telling that story. He tells that story 0:07:59.320 --> 0:08:02.080 at all of his friends who struggle with like meeting people, 0:08:02.080 --> 0:08:06.280 because it's like what this person said in this email, 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:10.800 the universe gave me a little pat on the back 0:08:10.840 --> 0:08:15.400 for finally going outside. It's fucking true, man, It's true. 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:17.360 And I and I and I have to and and 0:08:17.600 --> 0:08:22.320 you know, uh yeah I do. I fucking like go 0:08:22.360 --> 0:08:25.040 and do shit and sometimes and go places. But I 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:28.080 have to remind myself the stuff. I forget this, I 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:30.840 really do. I forget this, and I get tired of 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:32.280 going outside. 0:08:32.600 --> 0:08:32.760 Right. 0:08:32.880 --> 0:08:37.360 It's a lot. But the universe just it just does. 0:08:37.400 --> 0:08:43.319 It just rewards you for doing shit. So I commend 0:08:43.320 --> 0:08:45.800 to this person for going outside. And I know, I 0:08:46.000 --> 0:08:48.560 get the idea that this podcast has listened to by 0:08:48.600 --> 0:08:51.680 a lot of people who don't, uh who maybe don't 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:54.959 like going outside. I don't know if that's true. I 0:08:55.040 --> 0:08:56.720 don't know if that's true. There's a lot of I mean, 0:08:56.760 --> 0:08:58.160 we talked to what, we've talked to a lot of 0:08:58.160 --> 0:09:00.200 people who go outside, but I know there's there at 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:04.040 least a demographic of people who don't like going outside 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:06.800 that uh, listen to this, but go fucking God's do 0:09:07.320 --> 0:09:09.720 some stuff. Man. I don't know. I've said it a 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:12.559 bunch of times, but I really do believe it. Okay. 0:09:13.280 --> 0:09:18.400 This is from Jay's Swizzle subject line. I made a 0:09:18.440 --> 0:09:22.480 difficult decision to end my relationship to pursue solo traveling. 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:26.719 Ooh hi, Lyle, I hope you're doing well. Your podcast 0:09:26.720 --> 0:09:29.440 has really inspired me to give solo traveling a try. 0:09:29.880 --> 0:09:32.560 I started off small by going to an EDM festival 0:09:32.559 --> 0:09:36.120 by myself only a few hours away back in May, 0:09:36.600 --> 0:09:40.319 then more recently, to a rock festival in Atlanta. Originally, 0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:42.360 these were not going to be solo trips, as I 0:09:42.400 --> 0:09:45.600 informed my then girlfriend about them and if she had 0:09:45.640 --> 0:09:48.840 and asked if she had any interest. Due to her 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:52.280 work obligations, she was not able to go. During the 0:09:52.280 --> 0:09:54.960 festival in Atlanta, I met a cool group of other 0:09:55.040 --> 0:09:58.160 people who also traveled to a bunch of music festivals solo, 0:09:58.640 --> 0:10:02.000 and I had an amazing time during that time off work, 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:06.319 to truly. I took time off work to truly reflect 0:10:06.360 --> 0:10:09.600 on what I wanted and that was, and what I 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:12.400 wanted was to live a more authentic life that is 0:10:12.520 --> 0:10:16.440 truer to who I am, an independent spirit. I was 0:10:16.520 --> 0:10:18.840 honest with my girlfriend that I wanted to spend more 0:10:18.880 --> 0:10:21.800 of my limited free time traveling solo, and that it 0:10:21.840 --> 0:10:24.880 is not fair to string her along like that, even 0:10:24.920 --> 0:10:27.920 though she claims she was fine with me going on 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:33.720 these trips even if she it wasn't with her. Okay, sorry, 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:35.520 I know, I'm I feel like I'm fucking up reading 0:10:35.559 --> 0:10:43.560 these emails, but okay, I told I was honest with 0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:46.280 my girlfriend that it wasn't fair to string her along 0:10:46.320 --> 0:10:48.240 like that, even though she told me that she was 0:10:48.440 --> 0:10:51.680 fine with me going on these trips without her. Long 0:10:51.679 --> 0:10:54.520 story shirt, long story short. She thinks that it is 0:10:54.640 --> 0:10:57.319 immature of me to do this and that I am 0:10:57.440 --> 0:11:00.960 throwing this relationship away to party. But I truly believe 0:11:01.040 --> 0:11:03.080 that this is how I discover who I really am. 0:11:03.600 --> 0:11:06.400 I want to try going on an international trip alone 0:11:06.520 --> 0:11:09.480 and giving hostile world to try anyway. I know this 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:12.520 was kind of a long email. This was not even 0:11:12.559 --> 0:11:14.959 remotely a long email, but I appreciate your show, and 0:11:14.960 --> 0:11:17.200 I admire you for living a lifestyle that is unconventional 0:11:17.200 --> 0:11:20.360 and full of adventure. Much love from Florida, yours truly, 0:11:20.559 --> 0:11:24.600 Jay Swizzle, you know, Jace was well, I appreciate uh 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:30.080 you saying that, and I I mean, I'll talk about 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:35.280 this right. So there's a bit of a ye. There's 0:11:35.320 --> 0:11:38.600 a bit of a yin yang to life. I think 0:11:38.600 --> 0:11:42.600 if you're a certain kind of person that wants to 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:47.560 live unconventionally, and I think it's a good ride to take. 0:11:47.640 --> 0:11:49.960 I think if you're even thinking about taking the ride 0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:52.760 of doing of being a little unconventional, even for just 0:11:52.800 --> 0:11:54.680 a little bit, I think it's a really good ride 0:11:54.720 --> 0:12:01.240 to take. It's uh scary and weird, weird and uncomfortable 0:12:01.280 --> 0:12:05.120 and fucking but but true, honest, honest to fucking God. 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:06.640 The more life I live, the more I realized there 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:08.679 was there was no light, there was no route at all. 0:12:08.760 --> 0:12:14.680 That isn't uh scary and weird and uncomfortable. But when 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:19.480 I was younger, I maybe would have point blank always 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:24.640 said that you should take the ticket and go on 0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:26.800 the adventure. As I get older, the more I realized that, 0:12:29.760 --> 0:12:34.959 you know, the things, I'm only going to speak for 0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:37.680 my own personal experience. I don't like talking about these 0:12:38.280 --> 0:12:39.760 this ship is if it applies to other people, So 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:47.520 I'm gonna speak the just for myself. For me, I'm 0:12:47.800 --> 0:12:53.880 really happy and uh, really proud of myself for having 0:12:54.559 --> 0:12:57.320 gone on like adventures and doing unconventional ship and doing 0:12:57.360 --> 0:13:03.640 the solo travel whatever stuff. But and I wouldn't. I 0:13:03.679 --> 0:13:05.240 don't regret a single thing. 0:13:06.040 --> 0:13:16.440 But when you leave, when you leave and. 0:13:16.320 --> 0:13:20.040 You're in places and doing things where you're the only 0:13:20.120 --> 0:13:23.800 one that knows you there, you can grow a lot 0:13:23.840 --> 0:13:26.360 from that. But you can also start. If you do 0:13:26.400 --> 0:13:30.480 that for too long, you start to spin right, because 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:34.640 life is like transient and weird, and it feels like, 0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:37.679 at least for me, for me, my life has felt 0:13:37.679 --> 0:13:39.520 transient and weird, and I felt like I've I felt 0:13:39.520 --> 0:13:44.160 like I'm drowning a lot. And when you're on the 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:47.120 phone with like your friend or your mom, or you're 0:13:47.200 --> 0:13:50.000 with people that you like know in a place that 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:53.640 you know, it feels like the only way to like 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:58.559 grab a fucking rung of the ladder so that you're 0:13:58.600 --> 0:14:04.600 not fucking drowning. And I discovered that and felt that 0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:09.160 way recently. But I also feel like drowning is good 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:13.240 a little bit, but that's okay. I mean, you can. 0:14:13.400 --> 0:14:16.600 Here's the thing, Julian is you can run around and 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:19.880 solo travel and have your adventures. You should do it. 0:14:19.960 --> 0:14:21.960 If you've never done it, you should fucking really do it. 0:14:22.040 --> 0:14:27.360 You should really do it. But I loved what a 0:14:27.360 --> 0:14:29.760 lot of you guys listened to the podcast. Shout out 0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:35.360 my boy Trip, who talked about train hopping for twelve years. 0:14:37.280 --> 0:14:39.520 There's a podcast, a few podcasts to go on here. 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:42.440 This guy Trip talked about train hopping for two years 0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:44.840 and then he met this old man who lived that lifestyle, 0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:49.240 and what he said really hit me. Where he was like, 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:53.800 it's a wonderful adventure, but it's not a good life. 0:14:53.960 --> 0:14:56.160 And that makes a lot of fucking sense to me. 0:14:56.920 --> 0:15:00.680 And over the years, I've really tried to kind of 0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:04.840 redesign my life so that I have some sense of 0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:10.280 semblance to a feeling of knowing people and knowing places. 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:15.960 And I think I think I needed a community to survive, 0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:19.000 and I needed people in my real life who knew 0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:20.960 me to survive, and I needed to call to be 0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:23.040 on the phone with my mom and my friends and 0:15:26.320 --> 0:15:29.520 do all those things. To feel like I exist, you know, 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:34.240 But it's also trying to carve out time to you know, 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:38.720 go to Iraq and walk around it's a gecko h 0:15:39.200 --> 0:15:43.920 and and do things that feel exciting and adventurous. Time 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:49.800 flies like crazy when you're living in a routine, you know. 0:15:50.240 --> 0:15:55.280 And also these are all privileged things, so listen, if 0:15:55.280 --> 0:15:59.200 you have the fucking ability to run around, go crazy. 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:02.840 But yeah, at least for me, I've tried to have 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:05.880 a balance, and I think it's it's been good. Sorry, no, 0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:07.400 I'm just rambling. I mean, I know, the whole fucking 0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:09.840 the whole, this whole thing is just me rambling. But 0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:15.160 I hope you guys are enjoying listening to it. Okay, 0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:18.880 it's the best, the best time to book a flight. 0:16:18.960 --> 0:16:20.520 Oh wait, Okay, this is spam. 0:16:21.080 --> 0:16:21.360 You know what. 0:16:21.400 --> 0:16:24.160 I'm gonna read a little bit of spam. I'm gonna 0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:27.320 let's take a break from the viewer mail and let's 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:32.920 just read some spam, shall we. Okay, this is from 0:16:33.440 --> 0:16:38.160 Grace Janet. This is my spam folder. Congratulations on publishing 0:16:38.200 --> 0:16:41.640 your book. That's such an exciting milestone. Where did you 0:16:41.680 --> 0:16:44.360 publish it? I've been chatting with authors lately, who are 0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:46.560 trying to figure out the next steps how to get 0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:48.960 more eyes on their book and keep the momentum going. 0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:51.680 If that's something on your mind too, I'd love to 0:16:51.720 --> 0:16:54.840 share a few simple ideas that might help. Let's connect. 0:16:55.320 --> 0:16:59.440 This is from Grace jan This is from Grace Janet, 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:01.680 the published sure at gmail dot com. I'm gonna respond 0:17:01.680 --> 0:17:11.000 to this. Hello Grace, thank you so much. I love you. 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:22.040 Let's connect about my book. Begin quotation marks the art 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:38.360 of killing a ladybugs who are evil? Send. Okay, there's 0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:40.800 a waste of time. I kind of want to read 0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:48.159 more spam. All right. This is from WILLIAMS. Smith. This 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:53.119 is a long one. Am I gonna read this? Oh? Okay? 0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:57.200 This is from christa subject line be grateful with three 0:17:57.200 --> 0:18:01.080 exclamation points. Beloved, blessed one. Thank you for going through 0:18:01.080 --> 0:18:03.640 this email, and sorry this might seem like a surprise 0:18:03.720 --> 0:18:06.080 since this is my first time writing to you. I 0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:11.480 am missus Christina Earthed, a cancer patient and also a widow. 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:13.879 I have something of importance I would like to discuss 0:18:13.920 --> 0:18:16.159 with you. If granted, I would be glad if you 0:18:16.160 --> 0:18:19.920 would send me an email, and I would readily disclose 0:18:19.960 --> 0:18:23.400 my intentions of contacting you, as I believe God has 0:18:23.440 --> 0:18:26.640 put us in contact for a reason. This I ask 0:18:26.720 --> 0:18:28.600 for the sake of you who are mindful and need 0:18:28.640 --> 0:18:39.560 to be acknowledged. I'm gonna reply. I hope you feel better. Send. Okay. 0:18:40.080 --> 0:18:43.480 If there's any more funny spam emails, I'll read them, 0:18:43.520 --> 0:18:49.400 but most of them are just don't make any sense. Okay, 0:18:49.480 --> 0:18:52.560 all right, why do people Hello therapy, you goto mail? 0:18:52.880 --> 0:18:55.159 Tired of one week spikes and then silence? And your 0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:58.000 Amazon book sales? Why do these people think I'm selling 0:18:58.000 --> 0:19:02.520 a book? All right, let's read. Let's read mails from 0:19:02.640 --> 0:19:07.920 more people, from real people. Okay, Oh, this is cool. Okay, 0:19:07.960 --> 0:19:11.000 this is this is an update. I was just talking 0:19:11.000 --> 0:19:15.160 about our boy Trip, who did that long podcast about 0:19:15.160 --> 0:19:22.880 hopping trains. He sent us a follow up uh subject 0:19:22.920 --> 0:19:26.639 line it's Steve the caller who rode trains. Hey, Lyle, 0:19:26.720 --> 0:19:28.880 thank you for giving me the space to share. I've 0:19:28.920 --> 0:19:31.760 gotten maybe a dozen emails so far, and all of 0:19:31.800 --> 0:19:34.160 them were just so positive and from people all over 0:19:34.200 --> 0:19:36.720 the world who wanted to wish me some words of encouragement. 0:19:37.320 --> 0:19:39.639 One email, though, caught me off guard and made me 0:19:39.680 --> 0:19:42.680 feel really emotional. It was from this guy in Canada, 0:19:42.920 --> 0:19:45.239 who said my story really made him think about his 0:19:45.280 --> 0:19:48.080 own family and his dad and how he's always had 0:19:48.080 --> 0:19:50.280 both of his parents and they lived with him and 0:19:50.320 --> 0:19:53.760 now he's going to be an elementary school teacher. He 0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:55.720 said how it made him reach out to his dad 0:19:55.960 --> 0:19:58.080 and telling me he loves him, and said I will 0:19:58.160 --> 0:20:01.760 probably affect other people similarly. It was just really intense 0:20:01.800 --> 0:20:03.840 and I felt it so deeply. Bro. I felt the 0:20:03.880 --> 0:20:07.320 same way when I was listening to your conversation, your 0:20:07.359 --> 0:20:10.320 your your story, Steve, I called my dad. I was like, 0:20:11.520 --> 0:20:12.000 what's up. 0:20:13.119 --> 0:20:13.280 Bro. 0:20:13.359 --> 0:20:15.480 It's always weird when you get like really like when 0:20:15.520 --> 0:20:17.520 like something hits you emotionally and it makes you want 0:20:17.560 --> 0:20:20.439 to reach out to someone, but like they're just like 0:20:20.480 --> 0:20:23.200 living their life and like they're not they don't match 0:20:23.200 --> 0:20:24.679 you on the same oment. Not that my dad is 0:20:24.880 --> 0:20:28.080 uh you know, I have a loving father, but uh, 0:20:28.880 --> 0:20:30.720 you know, sometimes you get in your feels and then 0:20:31.000 --> 0:20:33.320 you're you reach out till you're like you reach out 0:20:33.320 --> 0:20:35.119 to your friend and you're like, hey, I love you, man. 0:20:35.160 --> 0:20:37.880 I just want you to know that he's like, thanks, man, 0:20:37.880 --> 0:20:40.640 he's over there. You're okay, you know what I mean? Anyway, 0:20:40.920 --> 0:20:43.040 I've been reading all the Spotify comments and I added 0:20:43.040 --> 0:20:45.280 my blue Sky on there, so people started following me 0:20:45.280 --> 0:20:47.720 on blue Sky and starting conversations with me. And it 0:20:47.720 --> 0:20:50.359 feels really good to get this outside perspective on my life. 0:20:50.600 --> 0:20:52.720 And it's helped me see how good I really am 0:20:52.800 --> 0:20:57.240 doing with what I have. That's so awesome. I also 0:20:57.280 --> 0:20:59.520 wanted to share this quote with you. Life is not 0:20:59.560 --> 0:21:03.240 always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes playing 0:21:03.280 --> 0:21:09.840 a poor hand well Jack London, Oh, I'm such a 0:21:09.880 --> 0:21:13.320 fan of that quote. Yeah, I'm a fan of that quot. 0:21:13.320 --> 0:21:17.840 I was thinking about that last night. I was thinking 0:21:17.840 --> 0:21:21.119 about that last night. There's things I'm insecure about and 0:21:21.160 --> 0:21:25.000 I don't feel good about with my uh you know, 0:21:25.080 --> 0:21:32.200 I'm insecure about things, and some of them are things 0:21:32.240 --> 0:21:35.720 that I just feel like are inherent to my existence. 0:21:37.200 --> 0:21:43.359 And you can waste a lot of motherfucking time being 0:21:45.000 --> 0:21:50.280 jealous or like yearning for shit that you can't that's 0:21:50.320 --> 0:21:54.879 not you, yearning to be something that's not you. You 0:21:54.920 --> 0:21:57.040 can waste a lot of time doing that. And I'm 0:21:57.080 --> 0:21:59.400 just like I felt, I remember, Yeah, I felt really good. 0:21:59.400 --> 0:22:06.679 I was. Yeah, I was thinking about like an insecurity 0:22:06.720 --> 0:22:10.040 and I felt I remember just thinking to myself. I'm like, well, okay, 0:22:10.119 --> 0:22:13.080 but I'm alive and I'm me, and this is it. 0:22:13.119 --> 0:22:17.679 And I accepted it about myself, and I'm like, okay, 0:22:17.720 --> 0:22:20.439 well I'll just go from there. I'm like, I was 0:22:20.480 --> 0:22:22.359 like looking at I was looking at someone else, and 0:22:22.400 --> 0:22:24.320 I was like getting I think I was getting jealous, 0:22:24.800 --> 0:22:28.359 and I was like, okay, well I'm not that, and 0:22:28.600 --> 0:22:35.960 sitting here wanting to be that is not helpful. So 0:22:36.119 --> 0:22:38.399 just accept just accept it, accept that you're not that, 0:22:39.280 --> 0:22:42.080 accept the fucking insecurity, and then go from there. And 0:22:42.080 --> 0:22:44.400 then once you go from there, you're like, oh wow, 0:22:44.480 --> 0:22:46.640 I can actually go I can try this, I can 0:22:46.640 --> 0:22:48.280 try that, I can do this and that and the 0:22:48.280 --> 0:22:51.919 other thing, you know. And then also, bro, there's so 0:22:51.960 --> 0:22:54.480 many For every person that you're jealous of, there's like 0:22:54.560 --> 0:22:57.520 three hundred thousand billion people who you're like, wow, I'm 0:22:57.520 --> 0:23:03.320 glad that that is not my life life. So all right, 0:23:07.880 --> 0:23:16.160 this is from Andrea. Subject line makeup conformity versus non conformity. Hello, GHEK. 0:23:16.200 --> 0:23:19.280 I have no concerns of anonymity, so you can say 0:23:19.280 --> 0:23:22.240 my first name very good. Me and my sister didn't 0:23:22.240 --> 0:23:24.840 grow out very affectionate. But one thing she said off 0:23:24.840 --> 0:23:28.680 the cuff in a moment of sincerity and vulnerability, continues 0:23:28.680 --> 0:23:31.919 to ring in my mind. When we were younger, I 0:23:32.040 --> 0:23:34.280 used to be jealous of you because I thought you 0:23:34.320 --> 0:23:37.800 were so beautiful. Even now, you have so much potential 0:23:37.920 --> 0:23:41.199 if you just tried. Okay, we're back. We're on the uh, 0:23:42.200 --> 0:23:46.440 we're on the envy theme. You see. I'm twenty one 0:23:46.480 --> 0:23:49.119 now and I've never practiced makeup or anything like that 0:23:49.400 --> 0:23:52.080 until when I turned nineteen, and for the first time 0:23:52.160 --> 0:23:56.440 in my life, I started trying, quote unquote to be beautiful. 0:23:56.920 --> 0:24:01.560 And the worst part is it actually worked. I'm autistic, 0:24:01.640 --> 0:24:04.400 and I think it definitely played into my apathy toward 0:24:04.560 --> 0:24:08.399 gender presentation and roles for so long. When I started 0:24:08.400 --> 0:24:13.680 wearing makeup, I leaned into the absurdity and performative performativity 0:24:13.720 --> 0:24:16.920 of gender and literally put it in the exact words 0:24:16.960 --> 0:24:21.359 of I've decided to take up my role. My immediate 0:24:21.480 --> 0:24:25.400 family lit up with excitement and smiles seeing me wear 0:24:25.560 --> 0:24:28.960 girly makeup, gurly clothes in a way they never did before. 0:24:29.400 --> 0:24:32.280 I was happy with their happiness, and it wasn't just 0:24:32.359 --> 0:24:35.880 them when I dressed feminine, when I was beautiful, when 0:24:35.920 --> 0:24:39.000 I bought in. I felt like other people treated me better, 0:24:39.400 --> 0:24:42.760 especially the opposite gender. In high school, I felt invisible, 0:24:42.760 --> 0:24:44.760 and I carried that into the start of my young 0:24:44.800 --> 0:24:47.919