Speaker 1: Hello, people of Earth and any other planets where this
Speaker 1: podcast might be being listened to. This is Gek Mail.
Speaker 1: This is a version of this show that I do
Speaker 1: sometimes where I just talk into a camera alone in
Speaker 1: a room for an hour. Did I say a camera,
Speaker 1: I meant a microphone, although some cameras have microphones, if
Speaker 1: not most cameras. And you know, yeah, so it's a podcast.
Speaker 1: I make little observations like that. It's exciting, it's fun.
Speaker 1: I read viewer mails. Some people like to call the
Speaker 1: show to talk about things going on in their life.
Speaker 1: Some people like to email the show with things going
Speaker 1: on in their life. So I'm going to read some
Speaker 1: of those emails. How am I doing. I'm doing pretty good.
Speaker 1: I'm going to Iraq tomorrow. Well you'll hear this podcast
Speaker 1: on Wednesday, but today I'm recording this. On Saturday, September
Speaker 1: twenty seventh, I'm making my next documentary. I've talked about
Speaker 1: this on the show before, but I'm making one little
Speaker 1: documentary Gecko video a month, and I'm doing the October
Speaker 1: one is going to be being a Gecko in Baghdad.
Speaker 1: I have no further information, but I'm leaving on a
Speaker 1: plane to go to Baghdad in about eight hours, and
Speaker 1: I feel great about it. I'm excited. I'm going to
Speaker 1: meet up with my buddy Muhammad that I met on
Speaker 1: Instagram and uh, we're if as the more as of
Speaker 1: let's see. Yeah, by the time this episode comes out,
Speaker 1: I'll be there walking around talking to people. I'm excited.
Speaker 1: Every time I tell people I've been, I haven't. This
Speaker 1: is I think the first time I've really talked about
Speaker 1: it on the show that I'm going. But when I
Speaker 1: tell people that I'm going, they're like, that's crazy. But
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, they got it. They have Johnny
Speaker 1: Rockets there, they have the American burger chain Johnny Rockets,
Speaker 1: they have a Burger King, they have some coffee shops.
Speaker 1: I mean, you look at it and it looks like
Speaker 1: any other place. It looks like any other place. That's
Speaker 1: really how I feel is that everywhere is I mean
Speaker 1: not literally everywhere. There's places that are different, but pretty
Speaker 1: much everywhere is just there's people there and they're and
Speaker 1: they're doing the things that humans do. We're biologically programmed
Speaker 1: to eat food, be with other people of our species,
Speaker 1: and have sex. So people in Iraq they're doing that
Speaker 1: just like we do it in Ohio and in Uzbekistan
Speaker 1: and in California and in Brazil. I don't know. Everywhere
Speaker 1: is just every everywhere and everything's the same. That's what
Speaker 1: I've learned from I don't know if Anthony Bourdain talked
Speaker 1: about that on any of his travels. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I believe that's true. And I actually, I actually
Speaker 1: don't think everywhere and everything is the same. I don't,
Speaker 1: but I think there's core similarities to places and things
Speaker 1: that I think more places are similar than they are different.
Speaker 1: But I don't want to wax poetic for too long.
Speaker 1: That's where I'm going. I'm going there in eight hours.
Speaker 1: I'll be there by the time you're listening to this,
Speaker 1: so be on the lookout for that. When I get back,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna edit that shit and hopefully i'll have the
Speaker 1: video ready to show you guys by the end of October.
Speaker 1: So that's what's going on with me. I'm hot off
Speaker 1: of ivants, I'm up, I'm down, I'm left, I'm right.
Speaker 1: That's what's going on with me. I'm trying to maintain
Speaker 1: a consistent mood throughout the day, and I'm excited. Let's
Speaker 1: read some emails, and then I don't have any. I
Speaker 1: don't have a lot more else to say about myself.
Speaker 1: Let's read some emails. Okay, this is from uh Alex.
Speaker 1: Subject line life update. We've never spoken before, but sometimes
Speaker 1: life is good. Okay. I guess you can have an
Speaker 1: update with somebody that you've never spoken to before, you know,
Speaker 1: like an initial update. Okay, what's up, Lyle? Good luck?
Speaker 1: So what's up? What's up? Lyle? I hope you're having
Speaker 1: a good time on your travels. I wrote you before
Speaker 1: and did not burn my journals, but still can't bring
Speaker 1: myself to write for nothing, so I'll write to you instead.
Speaker 1: Was this a person who wrote to me before? Maybe? Okay?
Speaker 1: All right. I wanted to celebrate doing something I've never
Speaker 1: done before earlier this month and the joy it brought
Speaker 1: to me. Background. I upended my life and moved back
Speaker 1: home seven months ago, have no friends, etc. One of
Speaker 1: my favorite bands released an album this month, and I decided,
Speaker 1: after much anxiety, to go to an early listening party
Speaker 1: at a record store in my area. I like that
Speaker 1: I already had one loan ticket to see their show,
Speaker 1: so I figured I could handle this and didn't want
Speaker 1: to miss the free stuff I got. I haven't done
Speaker 1: anything for myself in months, So anyway, I went, got
Speaker 1: my posters signed h signed up for some give Oh wait, no,
Speaker 1: I went, got posters, signed up for giveaways. Disassociated a bit,
Speaker 1: but loved the special experience that it was. I was
Speaker 1: on the train home when they called and they said
Speaker 1: I won two free tickets to the show Parentheses. I
Speaker 1: didn't win shit. Oh okay, wait, oh no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: sorry sorry it says parentheses. I don't win shit. Okay,
Speaker 1: so they did win the tickets. They won the tickets,
Speaker 1: but they believe that they do not win in general. Okay,
Speaker 1: they won the tickets. I feel like the universe was
Speaker 1: giving me a little pad on the back for finally
Speaker 1: going outside. I gave the tickets to my mom and
Speaker 1: little brother and got to watch the opener with them.
Speaker 1: They loved the show almost as much as I did.
Speaker 1: That's nice. All this to say, I hate that. You're right.
Speaker 1: All we have to do is leave the goddamn house
Speaker 1: sometimes and good things might happen. Usually not every time,
Speaker 1: but it might be worth it just to see what
Speaker 1: the hell is out there. Thanks for making a lot
Speaker 1: of people feel less lonely and making us laugh. Keep
Speaker 1: on getting from Alex. There we go I like this.
Speaker 1: I like this. I don't shut up about it. I
Speaker 1: talk about it all the time. But I just had
Speaker 1: a friend stay with me over the weekend and he
Speaker 1: told me a story. He was like, he was kind
Speaker 1: of he was like, this was like back when he
Speaker 1: was in college. He was like swiping on Tinder, and
Speaker 1: he was like, you know, we all remember being in
Speaker 1: college swiping on Tinder. Maybe some of us still are
Speaker 1: in college swiping on Tinder. And he runs out of
Speaker 1: swipes and he's like, I'm not gonna pay for marse
Speaker 1: wipes and he's and he gets no, he's no matches, right,
Speaker 1: no matches maybe like one match. Feeling like shit, feeling
Speaker 1: like he's worth nothing, and no one wants to talk
Speaker 1: to him, you know. So anyway, uh, he he gets
Speaker 1: there's this like a fucking DJ in town. He wants
Speaker 1: to go see. He messages like ten friends, Hey, you
Speaker 1: want to go with me to this DJ thing? None
Speaker 1: of all of them are busy. None of them responds,
Speaker 1: So he's like, fuck it, I'm gonna go. He goes,
Speaker 1: He meets some lady there, they make out, He goes
Speaker 1: into the mosh pit, they make out again. He goes
Speaker 1: back home in an uber and he's like, wow, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm the king of the fucking universe. You know. I
Speaker 1: know that's maybe that's not u a very detailed story,
Speaker 1: but he likes telling that story. He tells that story
Speaker 1: at all of his friends who struggle with like meeting people,
Speaker 1: because it's like what this person said in this email,
Speaker 1: the universe gave me a little pat on the back
Speaker 1: for finally going outside. It's fucking true, man, It's true.
Speaker 1: And I and I and I have to and and
Speaker 1: you know, uh yeah I do. I fucking like go
Speaker 1: and do shit and sometimes and go places. But I
Speaker 1: have to remind myself the stuff. I forget this, I
Speaker 1: really do. I forget this, and I get tired of
Speaker 1: going outside.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: It's a lot. But the universe just it just does.
Speaker 1: It just rewards you for doing shit. So I commend
Speaker 1: to this person for going outside. And I know, I
Speaker 1: get the idea that this podcast has listened to by
Speaker 1: a lot of people who don't, uh who maybe don't
Speaker 1: like going outside. I don't know if that's true. I
Speaker 1: don't know if that's true. There's a lot of I mean,
Speaker 1: we talked to what, we've talked to a lot of
Speaker 1: people who go outside, but I know there's there at
Speaker 1: least a demographic of people who don't like going outside
Speaker 1: that uh, listen to this, but go fucking God's do
Speaker 1: some stuff. Man. I don't know. I've said it a
Speaker 1: bunch of times, but I really do believe it. Okay.
Speaker 1: This is from Jay's Swizzle subject line. I made a
Speaker 1: difficult decision to end my relationship to pursue solo traveling.
Speaker 1: Ooh hi, Lyle, I hope you're doing well. Your podcast
Speaker 1: has really inspired me to give solo traveling a try.
Speaker 1: I started off small by going to an EDM festival
Speaker 1: by myself only a few hours away back in May,
Speaker 1: then more recently, to a rock festival in Atlanta. Originally,
Speaker 1: these were not going to be solo trips, as I
Speaker 1: informed my then girlfriend about them and if she had
Speaker 1: and asked if she had any interest. Due to her
Speaker 1: work obligations, she was not able to go. During the
Speaker 1: festival in Atlanta, I met a cool group of other
Speaker 1: people who also traveled to a bunch of music festivals solo,
Speaker 1: and I had an amazing time during that time off work,
Speaker 1: to truly. I took time off work to truly reflect
Speaker 1: on what I wanted and that was, and what I
Speaker 1: wanted was to live a more authentic life that is
Speaker 1: truer to who I am, an independent spirit. I was
Speaker 1: honest with my girlfriend that I wanted to spend more
Speaker 1: of my limited free time traveling solo, and that it
Speaker 1: is not fair to string her along like that, even
Speaker 1: though she claims she was fine with me going on
Speaker 1: these trips even if she it wasn't with her. Okay, sorry,
Speaker 1: I know, I'm I feel like I'm fucking up reading
Speaker 1: these emails, but okay, I told I was honest with
Speaker 1: my girlfriend that it wasn't fair to string her along
Speaker 1: like that, even though she told me that she was
Speaker 1: fine with me going on these trips without her. Long
Speaker 1: story shirt, long story short. She thinks that it is
Speaker 1: immature of me to do this and that I am
Speaker 1: throwing this relationship away to party. But I truly believe
Speaker 1: that this is how I discover who I really am.
Speaker 1: I want to try going on an international trip alone
Speaker 1: and giving hostile world to try anyway. I know this
Speaker 1: was kind of a long email. This was not even
Speaker 1: remotely a long email, but I appreciate your show, and
Speaker 1: I admire you for living a lifestyle that is unconventional
Speaker 1: and full of adventure. Much love from Florida, yours truly,
Speaker 1: Jay Swizzle, you know, Jace was well, I appreciate uh
Speaker 1: you saying that, and I I mean, I'll talk about
Speaker 1: this right. So there's a bit of a ye. There's
Speaker 1: a bit of a yin yang to life. I think
Speaker 1: if you're a certain kind of person that wants to
Speaker 1: live unconventionally, and I think it's a good ride to take.
Speaker 1: I think if you're even thinking about taking the ride
Speaker 1: of doing of being a little unconventional, even for just
Speaker 1: a little bit, I think it's a really good ride
Speaker 1: to take. It's uh scary and weird, weird and uncomfortable
Speaker 1: and fucking but but true, honest, honest to fucking God.
Speaker 1: The more life I live, the more I realized there
Speaker 1: was there was no light, there was no route at all.
Speaker 1: That isn't uh scary and weird and uncomfortable. But when
Speaker 1: I was younger, I maybe would have point blank always
Speaker 1: said that you should take the ticket and go on
Speaker 1: the adventure. As I get older, the more I realized that,
Speaker 1: you know, the things, I'm only going to speak for
Speaker 1: my own personal experience. I don't like talking about these
Speaker 1: this ship is if it applies to other people, So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna speak the just for myself. For me, I'm
Speaker 1: really happy and uh, really proud of myself for having
Speaker 1: gone on like adventures and doing unconventional ship and doing
Speaker 1: the solo travel whatever stuff. But and I wouldn't. I
Speaker 1: don't regret a single thing.
Speaker 2: But when you leave, when you leave and.
Speaker 1: You're in places and doing things where you're the only
Speaker 1: one that knows you there, you can grow a lot
Speaker 1: from that. But you can also start. If you do
Speaker 1: that for too long, you start to spin right, because
Speaker 1: life is like transient and weird, and it feels like,
Speaker 1: at least for me, for me, my life has felt
Speaker 1: transient and weird, and I felt like I've I felt
Speaker 1: like I'm drowning a lot. And when you're on the
Speaker 1: phone with like your friend or your mom, or you're
Speaker 1: with people that you like know in a place that
Speaker 1: you know, it feels like the only way to like
Speaker 1: grab a fucking rung of the ladder so that you're
Speaker 1: not fucking drowning. And I discovered that and felt that
Speaker 1: way recently. But I also feel like drowning is good
Speaker 1: a little bit, but that's okay. I mean, you can.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing, Julian is you can run around and
Speaker 1: solo travel and have your adventures. You should do it.
Speaker 1: If you've never done it, you should fucking really do it.
Speaker 1: You should really do it. But I loved what a
Speaker 1: lot of you guys listened to the podcast. Shout out
Speaker 1: my boy Trip, who talked about train hopping for twelve years.
Speaker 1: There's a podcast, a few podcasts to go on here.
Speaker 1: This guy Trip talked about train hopping for two years
Speaker 1: and then he met this old man who lived that lifestyle,
Speaker 1: and what he said really hit me. Where he was like,
Speaker 1: it's a wonderful adventure, but it's not a good life.
Speaker 1: And that makes a lot of fucking sense to me.
Speaker 1: And over the years, I've really tried to kind of
Speaker 1: redesign my life so that I have some sense of
Speaker 1: semblance to a feeling of knowing people and knowing places.
Speaker 1: And I think I think I needed a community to survive,
Speaker 1: and I needed people in my real life who knew
Speaker 1: me to survive, and I needed to call to be
Speaker 1: on the phone with my mom and my friends and
Speaker 1: do all those things. To feel like I exist, you know,
Speaker 1: But it's also trying to carve out time to you know,
Speaker 1: go to Iraq and walk around it's a gecko h
Speaker 1: and and do things that feel exciting and adventurous. Time
Speaker 1: flies like crazy when you're living in a routine, you know.
Speaker 1: And also these are all privileged things, so listen, if
Speaker 1: you have the fucking ability to run around, go crazy.
Speaker 1: But yeah, at least for me, I've tried to have
Speaker 1: a balance, and I think it's it's been good. Sorry, no,
Speaker 1: I'm just rambling. I mean, I know, the whole fucking
Speaker 1: the whole, this whole thing is just me rambling. But
Speaker 1: I hope you guys are enjoying listening to it. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's the best, the best time to book a flight.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, Okay, this is spam.
Speaker 2: You know what.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna read a little bit of spam. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: let's take a break from the viewer mail and let's
Speaker 1: just read some spam, shall we. Okay, this is from
Speaker 1: Grace Janet. This is my spam folder. Congratulations on publishing
Speaker 1: your book. That's such an exciting milestone. Where did you
Speaker 1: publish it? I've been chatting with authors lately, who are
Speaker 1: trying to figure out the next steps how to get
Speaker 1: more eyes on their book and keep the momentum going.
Speaker 1: If that's something on your mind too, I'd love to
Speaker 1: share a few simple ideas that might help. Let's connect.
Speaker 1: This is from Grace jan This is from Grace Janet,
Speaker 1: the published sure at gmail dot com. I'm gonna respond
Speaker 1: to this. Hello Grace, thank you so much. I love you.
Speaker 1: Let's connect about my book. Begin quotation marks the art
Speaker 1: of killing a ladybugs who are evil? Send. Okay, there's
Speaker 1: a waste of time. I kind of want to read
Speaker 1: more spam. All right. This is from WILLIAMS. Smith. This
Speaker 1: is a long one. Am I gonna read this? Oh? Okay?
Speaker 1: This is from christa subject line be grateful with three
Speaker 1: exclamation points. Beloved, blessed one. Thank you for going through
Speaker 1: this email, and sorry this might seem like a surprise
Speaker 1: since this is my first time writing to you. I
Speaker 1: am missus Christina Earthed, a cancer patient and also a widow.
Speaker 1: I have something of importance I would like to discuss
Speaker 1: with you. If granted, I would be glad if you
Speaker 1: would send me an email, and I would readily disclose
Speaker 1: my intentions of contacting you, as I believe God has
Speaker 1: put us in contact for a reason. This I ask
Speaker 1: for the sake of you who are mindful and need
Speaker 1: to be acknowledged. I'm gonna reply. I hope you feel better. Send. Okay.
Speaker 1: If there's any more funny spam emails, I'll read them,
Speaker 1: but most of them are just don't make any sense. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, why do people Hello therapy, you goto mail?
Speaker 1: Tired of one week spikes and then silence? And your
Speaker 1: Amazon book sales? Why do these people think I'm selling
Speaker 1: a book? All right, let's read. Let's read mails from
Speaker 1: more people, from real people. Okay, Oh, this is cool. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is this is an update. I was just talking
Speaker 1: about our boy Trip, who did that long podcast about
Speaker 1: hopping trains. He sent us a follow up uh subject
Speaker 1: line it's Steve the caller who rode trains. Hey, Lyle,
Speaker 1: thank you for giving me the space to share. I've
Speaker 1: gotten maybe a dozen emails so far, and all of
Speaker 1: them were just so positive and from people all over
Speaker 1: the world who wanted to wish me some words of encouragement.
Speaker 1: One email, though, caught me off guard and made me
Speaker 1: feel really emotional. It was from this guy in Canada,
Speaker 1: who said my story really made him think about his
Speaker 1: own family and his dad and how he's always had
Speaker 1: both of his parents and they lived with him and
Speaker 1: now he's going to be an elementary school teacher. He
Speaker 1: said how it made him reach out to his dad
Speaker 1: and telling me he loves him, and said I will
Speaker 1: probably affect other people similarly. It was just really intense
Speaker 1: and I felt it so deeply. Bro. I felt the
Speaker 1: same way when I was listening to your conversation, your
Speaker 1: your your story, Steve, I called my dad. I was like,
Speaker 1: what's up.
Speaker 3: Bro.
Speaker 1: It's always weird when you get like really like when
Speaker 1: like something hits you emotionally and it makes you want
Speaker 1: to reach out to someone, but like they're just like
Speaker 1: living their life and like they're not they don't match
Speaker 1: you on the same oment. Not that my dad is
Speaker 1: uh you know, I have a loving father, but uh,
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes you get in your feels and then
Speaker 1: you're you reach out till you're like you reach out
Speaker 1: to your friend and you're like, hey, I love you, man.
Speaker 1: I just want you to know that he's like, thanks, man,
Speaker 1: he's over there. You're okay, you know what I mean? Anyway,
Speaker 1: I've been reading all the Spotify comments and I added
Speaker 1: my blue Sky on there, so people started following me
Speaker 1: on blue Sky and starting conversations with me. And it
Speaker 1: feels really good to get this outside perspective on my life.
Speaker 1: And it's helped me see how good I really am
Speaker 1: doing with what I have. That's so awesome. I also
Speaker 1: wanted to share this quote with you. Life is not
Speaker 1: always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes playing
Speaker 1: a poor hand well Jack London, Oh, I'm such a
Speaker 1: fan of that quote. Yeah, I'm a fan of that quot.
Speaker 1: I was thinking about that last night. I was thinking
Speaker 1: about that last night. There's things I'm insecure about and
Speaker 1: I don't feel good about with my uh you know,
Speaker 1: I'm insecure about things, and some of them are things
Speaker 1: that I just feel like are inherent to my existence.
Speaker 1: And you can waste a lot of motherfucking time being
Speaker 1: jealous or like yearning for shit that you can't that's
Speaker 1: not you, yearning to be something that's not you. You
Speaker 1: can waste a lot of time doing that. And I'm
Speaker 1: just like I felt, I remember, Yeah, I felt really good.
Speaker 1: I was. Yeah, I was thinking about like an insecurity
Speaker 1: and I felt I remember just thinking to myself. I'm like, well, okay,
Speaker 1: but I'm alive and I'm me, and this is it.
Speaker 1: And I accepted it about myself, and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: well I'll just go from there. I'm like, I was
Speaker 1: like looking at I was looking at someone else, and
Speaker 1: I was like getting I think I was getting jealous,
Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, well I'm not that, and
Speaker 1: sitting here wanting to be that is not helpful. So
Speaker 1: just accept just accept it, accept that you're not that,
Speaker 1: accept the fucking insecurity, and then go from there. And
Speaker 1: then once you go from there, you're like, oh wow,
Speaker 1: I can actually go I can try this, I can
Speaker 1: try that, I can do this and that and the
Speaker 1: other thing, you know. And then also, bro, there's so
Speaker 1: many For every person that you're jealous of, there's like
Speaker 1: three hundred thousand billion people who you're like, wow, I'm
Speaker 1: glad that that is not my life life. So all right,
Speaker 1: this is from Andrea. Subject line makeup conformity versus non conformity. Hello, GHEK.
Speaker 1: I have no concerns of anonymity, so you can say
Speaker 1: my first name very good. Me and my sister didn't
Speaker 1: grow out very affectionate. But one thing she said off
Speaker 1: the cuff in a moment of sincerity and vulnerability, continues
Speaker 1: to ring in my mind. When we were younger, I
Speaker 1: used to be jealous of you because I thought you
Speaker 1: were so beautiful. Even now, you have so much potential
Speaker 1: if you just tried. Okay, we're back. We're on the uh,
Speaker 1: we're on the envy theme. You see. I'm twenty one
Speaker 1: now and I've never practiced makeup or anything like that
Speaker 1: until when I turned nineteen, and for the first time
Speaker 1: in my life, I started trying, quote unquote to be beautiful.
Speaker 1: And the worst part is it actually worked. I'm autistic,
Speaker 1: and I think it definitely played into my apathy toward
Speaker 1: gender presentation and roles for so long. When I started
Speaker 1: wearing makeup, I leaned into the absurdity and performative performativity
Speaker 1: of gender and literally put it in the exact words
Speaker 1: of I've decided to take up my role. My immediate
Speaker 1: family lit up with excitement and smiles seeing me wear
Speaker 1: girly makeup, gurly clothes in a way they never did before.
Speaker 1: I was happy with their happiness, and it wasn't just
Speaker 1: them when I dressed feminine, when I was beautiful, when
Speaker 1: I bought in. I felt like other people treated me better,
Speaker 1: especially the opposite gender. In high school, I felt invisible,
Speaker 1: and I carried that into the start of my young
Speaker 1: adult life until this period where I felt seen and
Speaker 1: looked at for the first time in my life. I
Speaker 1: had a short stint where I went crazy for external
Speaker 1: validation by the opposite sex, though I am mostly over
Speaker 1: that now, thank god. I realized external valid is fleeting
Speaker 1: from people you don't really give a fuck about and
Speaker 1: will always leave you chasing more. There's more to this email,
Speaker 1: but I want to think about that. Yeah, external validation.
Speaker 2: Uh, I've I've.
Speaker 1: Learned, bro, I've learned over and over. I'm twenty this
Speaker 1: person's twenty one. I'm twenty seven, about to be twenty eight.
Speaker 1: I've learned. I have so many lessons in my life
Speaker 1: that I've just learned over and over and over again,
Speaker 1: and then thought I and then I realized I thought
Speaker 1: I learned them, and then I didn't. You know so
Speaker 1: many lessons that you fucking like this one, this, like
Speaker 1: this this girl being like, external validation is fleeting. It's true.
Speaker 1: It's just so true. It's the truth. You will never
Speaker 1: ever in your life have enough external validation. You won't,
Speaker 1: and bro, I've gotten more external I've gotten more external
Speaker 1: validation than ninety nine percent of people that ever lived.
Speaker 1: We'll get to have. So trust me when I tell
Speaker 1: you it's not I'm not gonna say i'd be lying.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna flat out lie and say it's worth nothing.
Speaker 1: But I'm not gonna say it's worth nothing. But I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say it's not everything. I'll say that. Okay, back
Speaker 1: to the email. And yes, some of this may just
Speaker 1: be internal projection. I wear makeup, I feel more confident,
Speaker 1: better results, vicious cycle. But that only counts for some
Speaker 1: of it because people definitely do treat me better. When
Speaker 1: I quote unquote buy in, a bud of resentment has grown,
Speaker 1: and I realized I don't want to associate with ninety
Speaker 1: percent of people who would treat me better if I
Speaker 1: can form. I heard this quote that really resonated, which
Speaker 1: was the prize of inauthenticity, is that everyone loves you
Speaker 1: but yourself. Hoo hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoof Well, let
Speaker 1: that stu for a second. The prize of inauthenticity is
Speaker 1: that everyone loves you but yourself. I've limited my makeup use.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get comfortable in my skin and regress
Speaker 1: back to my authentic self expression that is less performative,
Speaker 1: more autistic, but also much less happily received. Often I
Speaker 1: battle with the idea of feeling like I have to
Speaker 1: perform a version of myself to be liked or to
Speaker 1: be accepted. My dream is community and being surrounded by people.
Speaker 1: To what extent that is only achievable if I swallow
Speaker 1: a piece of myself. Unfortunately, I'm not somebody people naturally
Speaker 1: gravitate too, and I only got a taste of what
Speaker 1: that was like when I was performing. Despite trying to
Speaker 1: logic my way out of it and my resentment to conformity,
Speaker 1: I'm addicted to that feeling and still find myself reaching
Speaker 1: towards that reality, the one where I am only existing
Speaker 1: as a fraction of myself, but I fulfill this deep
Speaker 1: dream of mind to be with people. That's the end
Speaker 1: of the email. Wow, thank you so much for sharing this, Andrea.
Speaker 1: This is a lot to chew on I have. I
Speaker 1: have thoughts and feelings on this one because I want
Speaker 1: to be realistic. I really do. I don't want to
Speaker 1: sit I'm and I'm not that guy. I'm really not
Speaker 1: that guy. I'm I'm. I know, I get a label
Speaker 1: of like being a wholesome being, and like, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm not into I try so fucking hard
Speaker 1: to be optimistic, but I don't. I'm not into toxic
Speaker 1: positivity and I'm not into like, uh, platitudes and I
Speaker 1: and I really try to have like a grounded sense
Speaker 1: of these things. And I'm trying to figure them out
Speaker 1: myself every day. Every day I'm trying to figure them
Speaker 1: out myself. I think about these things, dude, I'm talking
Speaker 1: about the idea mainly of like be yourself right, Like
Speaker 1: that's the platitude, be yourself. And none of this is advice,
Speaker 1: this is I'm just this Honestly. These episodes are just
Speaker 1: therapy for me. They're just me talking through this shit.
Speaker 1: But be yourself as tricky, right, because the parts of
Speaker 1: yourself that you don't you don't want to bring out
Speaker 1: all the time. And maybe there's people you want to
Speaker 1: be around and or there's people you want to attract
Speaker 1: or this things you want to do, and you realize
Speaker 1: that you have to change to be to achieve those
Speaker 1: things you want to achieve. And I don't think that
Speaker 1: that change is always bad necessarily, unless if it makes
Speaker 1: you feel really bad. I don't know if I got this.
Speaker 1: And I'm talking about myself. I'm not talking about this person.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I got the sense of this
Speaker 1: person necessarily hate swearing makeup. So I'm just talking about myself.
Speaker 1: And there are times where I feel like I have this.
Speaker 1: I have this feeling sometimes where I'm like, I feel
Speaker 1: this way about like making making videos, making art, working
Speaker 1: a dating. I have this feeling sometimes, friendship. I just
Speaker 1: have this feeling. All the important areas of life, right, creativity, romance, community,
Speaker 1: all these things. I have this feeling, this thoughts sometimes
Speaker 1: that says to me like if I if I approach
Speaker 1: everything just as I am, I'll naturally be gravitated toward, uh,
Speaker 1: what's right for me. And then sometimes I'm like, what
Speaker 1: are you a fucking idiot? No, don't do that at all,
Speaker 1: don't do that at all, don't fucking do that. Don't
Speaker 1: do that at all. Uh, you gotta put in a
Speaker 1: little bit of effort because that the reason I say
Speaker 1: is because that makes me feel very apathetic, right, Like,
Speaker 1: if I'm in a shitty mood and I'm like whatever,
Speaker 1: I might go on a date with someone or about
Speaker 1: to make a thing or do whatever, I'm just like, well,
Speaker 1: this be however you are. And I think there's something
Speaker 1: to that. But I also think that that mindset has
Speaker 1: prevented me from putting in active effort towards making positive changes.
Speaker 1: And it's it's really just for me. It's been a
Speaker 1: desire to just make my life easier. By the way,
Speaker 1: this is other thing to do. I'm I'm, I'm this
Speaker 1: is just me. I'm not talking about this person who
Speaker 1: emailed me. But sometimes I feel like that's just me
Speaker 1: taking like an easy way out. I feel that way sometimes, man,
Speaker 1: I really do like be as you are, Like, no
Speaker 1: fucking you know, if you want to be more confident,
Speaker 1: if you want to be more funny, if you want
Speaker 1: to be more make things in a different way or
Speaker 1: this or that the other thing, like, you gotta put
Speaker 1: in effort to change positively to get the things that
Speaker 1: you want. And this idea of like let me just
Speaker 1: let everything go and allow the universe to naturally bring
Speaker 1: it bring what it brings to me. It feels like
Speaker 1: giving up sometimes. I don't know if that's true. I'm
Speaker 1: just talking about my but it feels like giving up. Sometimes.
Speaker 1: It feels like me just being like, all right, well,
Speaker 1: let me not put any effort into trying to be
Speaker 1: more than what I am, and I'll just let what
Speaker 1: the universe naturally gives to me come to me. But then,
Speaker 1: but dude, sometimes, and you know what, that works for
Speaker 1: some people, because some and sometimes I think that works though,
Speaker 1: if you just approach everything exactly as you are and
Speaker 1: you let the universe give you what it gives you,
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, I'm pretty happy with this. But
Speaker 1: sometimes you approach everything exactly as you are and you
Speaker 1: let the universe give you what it gives you, and
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, I don't I don't know. If I
Speaker 1: don't know, if I like what the universe has given me,
Speaker 1: I think I'd like a little bit more than that.
Speaker 1: And so you change. And that's the way of the world.
Speaker 1: I want to be really stick about these things. I
Speaker 1: don't have. I don't have answers though I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't and I don't apply a judgment value to it.
Speaker 1: I don't think either is a because sometimes I think
Speaker 1: what people say is performative is just like putting in effort,
Speaker 1: putting trying new shit, Like, Okay, I've been approaching my
Speaker 1: life as I am for this long and I'm not
Speaker 1: happy with what life has given me back, is it
Speaker 1: performative to go, well, let me try acting like this
Speaker 1: and even and if I do try acting like this,
Speaker 1: is that not me? Anything I do is something I
Speaker 1: would do. But but back to this person's email, is
Speaker 1: that if you do feel like whatever you're doing is
Speaker 1: like strong, like you can feel in your gut, I
Speaker 1: think when you're misaligned, and so if whatever thing you're
Speaker 1: doing to make that effort feels strong, like in your
Speaker 1: fucking gut, like strongly misaligned, then yeah, I think it's
Speaker 1: not something to follow. I don't know if any of
Speaker 1: what I just said makes sense. I think it does,
Speaker 1: because yeah, I don't want to like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to give up. I want to hold on. I feel
Speaker 1: like I talk too much about myself and not enough
Speaker 1: about this person who uh, because I talked about myself,
Speaker 1: I want to talk about this person specifically. I battle
Speaker 1: with the idea of feeling like I have to perform
Speaker 1: a version of myself to be liked or accepted. My
Speaker 1: dream is community and being surrounded by people to what
Speaker 1: extent that is only achievable that if I swallow a
Speaker 1: piece of myself. Okay, that I don't believe that. I
Speaker 1: don't this person's saying. Unfortunately, I'm not swing that people
Speaker 1: naturally gravitate too, and I only got a taste of
Speaker 1: what that was like when I was performing. I'm addicted
Speaker 1: to that feeling and find myself reaching towards that reality,
Speaker 1: the one where I only exist as a fraction of myself,
Speaker 1: but I fulfill this deep tree of mine to be
Speaker 1: with people. Okay, I'm gonna talk about this person specifically
Speaker 1: because I think that if you're trying to like find
Speaker 1: community and make friends and be around a lot of people,
Speaker 1: I do think that again. I think that again. Yet
Speaker 1: you some combination of being your authentic self and putting
Speaker 1: in some kind of effort that I don't necessarily think
Speaker 1: you need to label as performative can get you there, right,
Speaker 1: I mean you're talking about I mean, you're twenty one.
Speaker 1: I don't know any I don't really know anything. I
Speaker 1: don't this person Andrea, I don't know a lot about
Speaker 1: her from this email I don't know anything about her,
Speaker 1: but I do think that if she keeps I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, it's the thing I've been talking about to death.
Speaker 1: But if you just keep finding places to continue to be,
Speaker 1: I do think you'll eventually be around people. But you
Speaker 1: might have to make some changes. Yeah, you might have
Speaker 1: to make some changes. I think at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, Yes, you have to make some changes that
Speaker 1: you're uncomfortable with and that are kind of hard. Because
Speaker 1: I really like taking both sides of this argument, and
Speaker 1: because I have a little bit of the I have
Speaker 1: a little bit of both of these things in me,
Speaker 1: which are like like some form of like radical. I
Speaker 1: really have both these things, and me like a half
Speaker 1: of my brain is a radical self love except be
Speaker 1: yourself and everything is gonna be okay. Like I have
Speaker 1: I have a deep like left brain hippie part of
Speaker 1: my brain, and then I have the I have a capitalist,
Speaker 1: uh you must provide value to have value part of
Speaker 1: my brain, and they they just coexist. It's who I am,
Speaker 1: It's how I think about life. And both of those
Speaker 1: wolves are living in my fucking brain. The wolf again,
Speaker 1: I'm talking about myself, the wolf of like if I
Speaker 1: if I lose weight, I will be uh more attractive
Speaker 1: and lovable. If I make more money, I will have
Speaker 1: more I will be happier if I do this. And
Speaker 1: then they're like the capitalists you, I mean, as we
Speaker 1: must provide value as a person to be valued in
Speaker 1: society like that, Like that's a. That's a that's a
Speaker 1: solid half of my brain. And then again I have
Speaker 1: the other solid half of my brain that's like no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: like very hippy like no. Be as you are, you,
Speaker 1: you are enough, you exist, you be, you can, You're
Speaker 1: completely fine exactly how you are. And uh yeah, these
Speaker 1: are those two parts of my brain. Those two parts
Speaker 1: of my brain. They battle each other, and I think
Speaker 1: they both have valid things, they both have valid things
Speaker 1: to say. And then they both have times where each
Speaker 1: other is talking and I'm like, shut the fuck up,
Speaker 1: you're insane, you know. So I try to pull from
Speaker 1: each side of that to uh like address things. But
Speaker 1: I think this person can find community. But again, you
Speaker 1: have to put yourself out there to do it. Okay,
Speaker 1: I've spoken too long on this. Thank you for sharing. Andrea.
Speaker 1: All Right, this is from Aaron subject line, Hi gek,
Speaker 1: I'm in the same boat. As you when it comes
Speaker 1: to existentialism, depression in general, life. Long story short, I'm
Speaker 1: wondering what books you've read that have helped you with
Speaker 1: these problems and your mindset toward life in general. Keep
Speaker 1: on keeping my scaly friend. Uh, I'm not gonna lie
Speaker 1: to you, Aaron. I can't remember the last time I
Speaker 1: read a book cover to cover. I can't. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't read a lot of books. I'm too Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't like. I don't. I'm either I'm either working, procrastinating,
Speaker 1: or trying to be out of my house. And so
Speaker 1: I haven't had I haven't had had books in there.
Speaker 1: I mean, I've been playing Donkey Kong Bonanza, and that's
Speaker 1: taught me. What is Donkey Kong Bananza taught me. It's
Speaker 1: taught me that if you play video games, you'll be
Speaker 1: a little bit less depressed for the duration of time
Speaker 1: that you're playing them. So that's Donkey Kong Bonanza is
Speaker 1: technically the last book I read, if you count Donkey
Speaker 1: Kong as a book. Okay, this is from a Zia. Hello,
Speaker 1: my name is Azia. I have followed your podcast on
Speaker 1: and off for a few years now. Some of the
Speaker 1: other issues people raised there are relatable for me. I
Speaker 1: haven't had any friends for about a decade now. Almost
Speaker 1: everything in my life seems to be going wrong, as
Speaker 1: if I'm cursed. I was unfortunately the target of a
Speaker 1: dosing campaign online a few years back that got shared
Speaker 1: to family, classmates, and coworkers. Jeez. Since then, I've dropped
Speaker 1: out of medical school and struggled with unemployment, isolation, and
Speaker 1: mental illness. I'm currently broke and living with my grandparents
Speaker 1: with pretty much no room or belongings of my own.
Speaker 1: I'm at a loss as to how to make friends
Speaker 1: or stop the continued breakdown. I've tried to make friends
Speaker 1: in my local area by attending meetups or just putting
Speaker 1: myself out there at libraries and social events. I tried
Speaker 1: clubs at school and making friends with my classmates and coworkers.
Speaker 1: I've tried a lot of different communities online on platforms
Speaker 1: like Reddit, Discord, etc. Both advertising for friends directly or
Speaker 1: sharing my personal projects and hobbies to see if I
Speaker 1: can gain traction and find friends that way. I've done
Speaker 1: this almost full time for about three to four years now,
Speaker 1: with no luck. I also haven't stopped the continued online
Speaker 1: harassment I don't know if there are other people who
Speaker 1: listen to your podcast or call in who have run
Speaker 1: into similar issues, but I'd really like to help get
Speaker 1: my story out there find connection. Thanks for your time,
Speaker 1: best a Zia. I'm okay, well this this is uh.
Speaker 1: I feel like I can't have too many thoughts on this,
Speaker 1: but there's so many like details to this. I was
Speaker 1: the target of a dosing campaign. I mean that fucking sucks.
Speaker 1: M m m. I really want to offer some I
Speaker 1: really want to find some words for this person. I'm
Speaker 1: at a losses to how to make friends or stop
Speaker 1: to continue to break down. I've tried to make friends
Speaker 1: in my local area by turning meetups or putting myself
Speaker 1: out there.
Speaker 3: M hm hm m mmm.
Speaker 1: Okay, well I guess I guess I'm gonna infer I
Speaker 1: mean from this person's email. I'm gonna infer what they want,
Speaker 1: which is they want a community. And it's the same
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, it's it's the same thing I've been
Speaker 1: talking about. But this is a person who's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I've been trying this for four years now with no luck.
Speaker 1: I also han't stopped the continued online harassment. Why is
Speaker 1: this person being harassed online. You know that doesn't even matter. Well,
Speaker 1: you gotta get off the internet. You just got it.
Speaker 1: If you can get off the internet, if you if you,
Speaker 1: if you can, you gotta get off the internet. People
Speaker 1: did it. People made friends without being on the internet
Speaker 1: for a while. And if you're just like constantly getting
Speaker 1: if the inner if looking at your phone has just
Speaker 1: become like a horrible thing of like harassments, and you've
Speaker 1: gone to the authorities and you've like just fucking exhausted
Speaker 1: every thing that you can to like get this ship
Speaker 1: to stop. At a certain point, you just got to
Speaker 1: fucking turn the computer off because you don't want you
Speaker 1: don't want to have that uh ringing through you. And man,
Speaker 1: I don't know sometimes when you turn the computer off,
Speaker 1: and like I've I've pal dude, I've palpitably noticed how
Speaker 1: much more calm I feel when I go like a
Speaker 1: a few days without looking at my phone, which I
Speaker 1: do about once every three years. How does this person
Speaker 1: find connection? I really, I really really really want to
Speaker 1: be optimistic about this. I really do, because I just
Speaker 1: really want to fucking believe as possible for everyone hmmm hmmm.
Speaker 1: And I don't want to give I hate giving bullshit
Speaker 1: platitudes because I really I've tried to make friends in
Speaker 1: my local area, but I just put there's enough. This
Speaker 1: is this is a person, this is I think this
Speaker 1: is someone I have to like talk with to get
Speaker 1: an idea of what's going on with them. I don't
Speaker 1: know how much I can I have to think or
Speaker 1: say from just this email. The only I get the
Speaker 1: thing about like these emails, like you have to assume
Speaker 1: a lot. I guess I'm going to assume that.
Speaker 2: You're like.
Speaker 1: Hopping around a lot maybe and maybe you need to
Speaker 1: stay at the same place and and and invest yourself
Speaker 1: in one like find find a community, and like invest
Speaker 1: yourself in that one community, and like see how you
Speaker 1: can bring value that one community. And also man like
Speaker 1: you might have to you might have to give yourself
Speaker 1: like an ath. Okay, I'm actually gonna tie this back.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna tie
Speaker 1: this back to actually a lot of the shit that
Speaker 1: I've been talking about on this uh episode so far,
Speaker 1: which is that you might have to audit. You might
Speaker 1: have to give yourself an honest audit and don't break down.
Speaker 1: You might have to give yourself a fucking honest audit.
Speaker 1: That's that's why I have that other fifty percent of
Speaker 1: my brain that says you're not enough to myself is
Speaker 1: because sometimes saying that's sometimes saying you're enough can be
Speaker 1: dangerous because sometimes you gotta you gotta give yourself an
Speaker 1: honest audit. It's the only way to go move forward
Speaker 1: in a positive way. Give yourself an honest audit. Talk
Speaker 1: to people who know you, and it's like, look, you
Speaker 1: may you might be a little bit off putting. You
Speaker 1: might be kind of annoying, you might be mean, you
Speaker 1: might be the things. I don't know if you are,
Speaker 1: but you might be, and you might just not know it.
Speaker 1: And if you audit yourself, or you talk to people,
Speaker 1: or you think about yourself, and you discover that you
Speaker 1: are those things, dear fucking God, please, please, please, If
Speaker 1: you audit yourself and you discover that you're annoying, or
Speaker 1: that you're off putting, or that you're hostile, or that
Speaker 1: you're any other thing, please please don't spiral. Don't spiral.
Speaker 1: Don't spiral. It's not what you want to do. You
Speaker 1: want to approach this fucking like a scientist. You want
Speaker 1: to look at yourself and be like, all right, I
Speaker 1: possess these negative qualities that might be pushing people away.
Speaker 1: And I'm actually kind of happy that I know this
Speaker 1: about myself now. And I'm not gonna spiral. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna be like, oh I'm annoying, no one likes me.
Speaker 1: I can't change. I'm gonna go, Okay, what can I
Speaker 1: do next time? This is where you got This is
Speaker 1: where again to what I was talking about with the
Speaker 1: other email and about myself is you got to be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well what can I do differently? How can I And
Speaker 1: it's not performative, it's just we're trying new shit because
Speaker 1: we want a new path, you know, because we've been
Speaker 1: trying the same fucking thing for four years. It's not working.
Speaker 1: So what do we? So how do we What's one
Speaker 1: little fucking thing we can try differently so maybe we
Speaker 1: come off a little bit different. And it's not I'm
Speaker 1: gonna walk it back. I'm gonna say it's not performative.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say you're actually you're attempting to discover and
Speaker 1: tap in to parts of your existence that you didn't
Speaker 1: even think were possible because you felt like they were performative,
Speaker 1: because maybe you start acting in such a way that
Speaker 1: feels performative, and then you know, sometimes you act in
Speaker 1: a way that feels performative and it feels very misaligned
Speaker 1: with who you are, and then other times you acted
Speaker 1: away that feels performative and you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait,
Speaker 1: this is actually this, this just me I can do this,
Speaker 1: and then you realize it's not performative. It's just tapping
Speaker 1: into a fucking thing that was within you. So to
Speaker 1: this person, I guess I would suggest, yeah, being some
Speaker 1: version of what you would think to be performative, because
Speaker 1: maybe you'll tap into something that you didn't think was
Speaker 1: of you. So do an audit of yourself a zia,
Speaker 1: That's what I would say, and be like, how can
Speaker 1: I act differently? And it'll be uncomfortable, it'll be kind
Speaker 1: of like really uncomfortable. But don't just don't spiral. Just
Speaker 1: whatever you fucking do, please don't spiral. If you're not
Speaker 1: happy with your audit, take it as an opportunity to uh,
Speaker 1: you know, perform in some other way. And I'm and
Speaker 1: I'm really sorry about the online harassment and if there's
Speaker 1: any and if if if there's any way you can
Speaker 1: just not be on the fucking computer, then then you know,
Speaker 1: I think you should do that. Okay, um, let's keep
Speaker 1: going here, all right. This is from Curtis. Subject line,
Speaker 1: Hello lizard Fella. This was a very self helpy podcast episode.
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess the I don't. I really, I
Speaker 1: don't like categorizing what I do is self help because
Speaker 1: I'm insane and I have no business self helping anyone.
Speaker 1: But I it's like, it's like, I I'd like to
Speaker 1: think of it more like I'm leading an AA meeting
Speaker 1: or something like that, you know what I mean. Like
Speaker 1: if you like, if you lead an AA meeting, you're
Speaker 1: not like the therapist, but you you are. You're in
Speaker 1: a circle of people where you're like, yeah, I get it,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I feel that way more
Speaker 1: than I feel to be a I Yeah, anyway, whatever, Okay,
Speaker 1: Hello Lilah. I like the color of your suit. It's
Speaker 1: very nice. I am. I'm also a reptile who is
Speaker 1: trying to do stuff on the internet, mostly funny gaming moments.
Speaker 1: I was wondering what you use to edit your thumbnails, because,
Speaker 1: to be honest, I'm using cap cut for both thumbnails
Speaker 1: and to edit my videos sub to mister Turtle Gaming
Speaker 1: four twenty. You can let me know when you can
Speaker 1: if you want to call for some reason to talk
Speaker 1: about the weather. Have a beautiful day. Okay, my boy
Speaker 1: Brandon edits those thumbnails. Shout out Brandon. But edit your
Speaker 1: thumbnails with whatever. Just keep making the stuff you know. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's keep going here. This is from Adam. Subject line
Speaker 1: high Lyle, and the email just says I love you,
Speaker 1: Thank you, Adam. It's very nice. Okay, I'm looking at
Speaker 1: more emails. Okay. This is from Lauren. Subject line mouse
Speaker 1: House a quest for Happiness. Hello, Lyle. My name is
Speaker 1: Lauren and I'm twenty two years old. I just started
Speaker 1: my first full time job. I take care of lab animals,
Speaker 1: mainly mice, in the basement of a university. I give
Speaker 1: the mice food and water. I change their cages out
Speaker 1: when they get dirty. I check for health problems and
Speaker 1: report them. The health problems I see are mostly pregnant
Speaker 1: mice having issues with birth, and mice that have teeth
Speaker 1: growing incorrectly. I like the job, but I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm in this transition period of my life. I feel lonely.
Speaker 1: I just found out I have autism, and in May
Speaker 1: I finally left my abusive parents' house. I have a
Speaker 1: plan for my future, for the goals slash dreams I
Speaker 1: want to achieve. The mouse House is a step on
Speaker 1: that path, but my dreams feel so far away right now.
Speaker 1: I want to go back to school. I want to
Speaker 1: find a community in this new town. Right now, though,
Speaker 1: it's just me and the mice, which isn't the worst
Speaker 1: company to keep. I have always found animals to be
Speaker 1: better company than people. Kind regards Lauren, Everyone's trying, Everyone's trying.
Speaker 1: Everyone's trying. Everyone's trying. Everyone is trying their best to
Speaker 1: do stuff. Is everyone trying their best? I think so?
Speaker 1: This is from Andrew subject line. Okay, wait, no it's not.
Speaker 1: It's from Dean or whatever. It's from Andrew. Who cares.
Speaker 1: It's fine, there's a billion Andrews. This is from Andrew
Speaker 1: h subject line. I have had over eleven jobs in
Speaker 1: four years. Dear mister Ghak, please to be speaking with
Speaker 1: the Gak masses. You may remember me. We met when
Speaker 1: you were in Vegas in twenty twenty four. I was
Speaker 1: the guy in the front row. You gave the piece
Speaker 1: of paper too for your opening bit. I do remember
Speaker 1: that anyone who has any doubts in life, this email
Speaker 1: should provide some comfort. This is a synopsis of my
Speaker 1: career path in life. I had eleven different jobs during college.
Speaker 1: For context, I am a twenty eight year old man
Speaker 1: living in sunny southern California. I started working when I
Speaker 1: was eighteen at a Jack in the box. Before, I
Speaker 1: worked at an amusement park during holidays, but I don't
Speaker 1: count that because it was only for a few days
Speaker 1: a year. Eventually, I worked at a Jack in the
Speaker 1: Box and the amusement park simultaneously while going to college.
Speaker 1: I quit those two jobs and got an internship in
Speaker 1: accounting that sucked because it was boring and I got
Speaker 1: paid to send me to send memes. Oh, I guess
Speaker 1: he was like sending memes off the job. Okay, that
Speaker 1: makes sense. I was fired and it felt like a breakup.
Speaker 1: I ended up returning to the same Jack in the
Speaker 1: box because I needed the money. Fast food definitely does
Speaker 1: not pay well for how fast paced it is. I
Speaker 1: would not be opposed to having robots take those jobs,
Speaker 1: as it is so stressful for such little pay. Also,
Speaker 1: my boss was a sociopath. He would make fun of
Speaker 1: coworkers in front of their faces and spread false rumors.
Speaker 1: This technically was a second job because I was promoted
Speaker 1: to shift lead and got paid fifty extra cents per
Speaker 1: hour lmao. I got a lot of free food in
Speaker 1: exchange for the bullshit I dealt with. I have crazy
Speaker 1: custom recipes from working there. Maybe I'll call the show
Speaker 1: or DM you on Instagram with the secret menu items?
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you just put Why don't you put them
Speaker 1: in the email? Sorry? I got too upset over that.
Speaker 1: I got way too upset over that. I got inappropriately
Speaker 1: upset over that. Anyhow, I went to work for a
Speaker 1: draws dress for less, and then went back to the
Speaker 1: amusement park. I got promoted at the clothing chain, but
Speaker 1: that didn't last too long because I didn't like managing
Speaker 1: people there. They were jerks and abused my kindness. I
Speaker 1: worked a lot of overtime there, sometimes ten to thirteen
Speaker 1: hour days and nights. I quit both those jobs and
Speaker 1: got another internship, this time for supply chain. That job
Speaker 1: was also boring, and I unfortunately didn't get to learn anything.
Speaker 1: I wasn't at the mindset to make an experience worthwhile
Speaker 1: like that one had I taken the time to talk
Speaker 1: with employees and learn the possibilities in day to day
Speaker 1: life and supply chain. I would have found a fulfilling
Speaker 1: career anyways. During that internship, I got paid to sit
Speaker 1: and watch YouTube four days a week, ten hours a day.
Speaker 1: I got Fridays off the whole summer. Then I tried
Speaker 1: to work at Party City, but the training videos were
Speaker 1: so mind numbing I quit within the first three hours.
Speaker 1: You got to give me more detail of what these
Speaker 1: training videos are. You need to send a follow up
Speaker 1: email with details about the secret menu items and what
Speaker 1: the Party City training videos were, because I got to
Speaker 1: know what are they talking about, like how to properly
Speaker 1: steam the Halloween costume? I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1: The pay was also asked as they paid with a
Speaker 1: cash card rather than by check or direct deposit. It
Speaker 1: wasn't a debt card because you could deposit at the bank,
Speaker 1: but there was a fee if you wanted to deposit
Speaker 1: the money in your account. It was really dumb, okay.
Speaker 1: I then worked at Planet Fitness. It was also very boring.
Speaker 1: The employees abused me because I was a new kid.
Speaker 1: They made me help all the customers while they were
Speaker 1: on their phones. In addition, Planet Fitness does not allow
Speaker 1: people to take time off. You're hired to work very
Speaker 1: specific shifts and the only way to get time off
Speaker 1: is to befriend coworkers and trade shifts. I got hired
Speaker 1: a week before my birthday and the manager said she
Speaker 1: would cover it. I decided to quit within a week.
Speaker 1: The only cool part about that job was the free
Speaker 1: gym membership. However, you weren't allowed to work out during
Speaker 1: your shift. Well that kind of makes sense, I guess,
Speaker 1: and honestly, I didn't want to work out at my
Speaker 1: place of employment. The next job I worked at was
Speaker 1: at Marshall's and that was my last job before graduating college.
Speaker 1: That was probably the most normal gig I've had, and
Speaker 1: I would highly recommend it to anyone working there. Nothing
Speaker 1: crazy happened to me, but there was a lot of
Speaker 1: drama enough to where I could write a book honestly.
Speaker 1: I then graduated in May of twenty twenty with a
Speaker 1: finance degree. My first job out of college was a
Speaker 1: junior project manager. However, there were no clients available for
Speaker 1: me to take on, so I reluctantly took a support
Speaker 1: engineer role for a custom app we made. It was
Speaker 1: the worst job I have ever had. For one year,
Speaker 1: I had to be available for eight to ten hours,
Speaker 1: all the time sitting at my desk waiting for support tickets.
Speaker 1: As you can probably tell, the theme with me is
Speaker 1: that I get bored too easily, and the boarden came
Speaker 1: from feeling like my life was meaningless and that I
Speaker 1: was never going to accomplish anything. After the year was up,
Speaker 1: I spent a lot of my time training and left
Speaker 1: the project management side of the business to work in
Speaker 1: the enterprise resource planning sector. That's where I'm at today.
Speaker 1: It has been so fulfilling. There we go. I was
Speaker 1: wondering when this was gonna get positive, because you did
Speaker 1: mention that at the beginning. It has been so fulfilling
Speaker 1: and I do enjoy the work I do. It's challenging,
Speaker 1: yet not impossible for me. I am always learning new
Speaker 1: thing and there was never a dull moment. Sometimes I
Speaker 1: work crazy hours, fourteen hour days, and sometimes I don't
Speaker 1: work at all. I'm kind of my own boss, but
Speaker 1: still on a leash. One day I may become a
Speaker 1: manager or a lead. I also wash cars on the side,
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to earn my c FP. My end
Speaker 1: goals in life are to have children with my beautiful wife,
Speaker 1: own a home where I live, start a business, and
Speaker 1: take care of my future employees by paying them thriving wages.
Speaker 1: Get blessed. Life was crazy, but it is what you
Speaker 1: make of it. Sincerely, Dean. Okay, Well that was that
Speaker 1: was That was Dean slash Andrew's life. I wish I
Speaker 1: had something to say about any of that. Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: that was. I'm glad he's he seems like he's happy now,
Speaker 1: which is good. It seems like he's happy now, which
Speaker 1: is good. I hope, I hope that was. He should
Speaker 1: have he should have put the secret new items in there. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is from Walker subject line I lost my job,
Speaker 1: but it's definitely a good thing. Hey, GEK, hope you're
Speaker 1: doing well. I recently lost my job because I chose
Speaker 1: to speak up about unfair working conditions. Ultimately, I know
Speaker 1: this is a good thing because my boss would constantly
Speaker 1: trigger me, underpay workers and did not plan for extreme weather. Parentheses,
Speaker 1: we work on a farm. I would wake up every
Speaker 1: day anxious to go in because her mood dictated how
Speaker 1: she was going to treat us that day. I have
Speaker 1: a job lined up for the winter every year, but
Speaker 1: that won't start until December. I enjoy seasonal work because
Speaker 1: it allows me to have flexibility and do different jobs
Speaker 1: because I hate the monotony of a nine to five job.
Speaker 1: I feel kind of lost right now because I wasn't
Speaker 1: fired because I did a bad job. I was fired
Speaker 1: because I chose to stand up for myself and my crew.
Speaker 1: One day, I hope to own my own land and
Speaker 1: create a space to share what I've learned and learned
Speaker 1: from others who want to live sustainably. I know it's
Speaker 1: going to be okay, and I do have some jobs
Speaker 1: that I do on the side that will hopefully get
Speaker 1: me through till winter starts. But I guess I just
Speaker 1: wanted to share this because I know a lot of
Speaker 1: people feel stuck in their jobs or feel taken advantage
Speaker 1: of and are afraid to speak up. But I think
Speaker 1: it's really important to always advocate for yourself and the
Speaker 1: people you care about. I think this happened to me
Speaker 1: for a reason that will allow me to grow as
Speaker 1: an individual and within my career. If you have any
Speaker 1: words of wisdom, or just read this email so that
Speaker 1: other people could feel us alone about this situation. That
Speaker 1: would be cool.
Speaker 3: Do I have any words of wisdom? Do I have
Speaker 3: any words of wisdom?
Speaker 1: I'm glad that you are.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: No, I don't have any words of wisdom. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: If I did, I would tell you. If I did,
Speaker 1: I would tell you. But I'm glad you sent the email.
Speaker 1: I'm okay with not always having words of wisdom. I
Speaker 1: think if I always had words of wisdom, that would
Speaker 1: be a bad thing. That would be like if I
Speaker 1: was wise about everything. You know what I mean. But
Speaker 1: maybe someone in the comments will have words of wisdom
Speaker 1: that could be good. Uh. Okay, I should read a
Speaker 1: few more emails. I think I'll read it. I'll read
Speaker 1: I'll read a couple more. Okay, this is from Stephen
Speaker 1: subject line question. When I see your clips, I think
Speaker 1: of an ex coworker who used to sleep with me.
Speaker 1: I think about her pretty regularly, and she refuses to
Speaker 1: talk with me. I'd love to use you as a
Speaker 1: platform to reach back out to her. What No, No,
Speaker 1: that isn't No. That doesn't make any sense. I don't no,
Speaker 1: don't do that. Just just move on, move on, man,
Speaker 1: move on, man, go go go. I stop doing that. Okay,
Speaker 1: let me see here. This is from Ed. Ed says, Hey, Gek,
Speaker 1: I'm one of your first few fans from Reddit days.
Speaker 1: I don't really like to comment on relationship stuff, but
Speaker 1: it would be nice to have an outside opinion. I
Speaker 1: guess I can comment on what Okay. I am a
Speaker 1: twenty four year old guy, and I am chit chatting
Speaker 1: with a woman almost ten years older than me. Started
Speaker 1: off a bit rocky because she was in a relationship.
Speaker 1: We kissed, I separated myself. Then the day after I did,
Speaker 1: she ended her relationship. I told her I needed some
Speaker 1: space to think things over, and she has been nothing
Speaker 1: but respectful and understanding about my perspective. I feel really
Speaker 1: strongly about this woman, and I've continued to talk to her,
Speaker 1: and since there have been no red flags to me,
Speaker 1: it's felt very mature, natural, and easy to be with her.
Speaker 1: A'm I dumb for continuing this. I guess the age
Speaker 1: thing is a part of it, But do you have
Speaker 1: thoughts on it? Ten years is too weird? Please be
Speaker 1: my guest? Uh, Well, weirdness is not the issue here,
Speaker 1: I would say. I would say, and I've been I've
Speaker 1: been mainly in relationships with women who are older than me,
Speaker 1: and I mean it's a Here's the thing is, what
Speaker 1: do you want out of your life? Right? Because the
Speaker 1: main problem with being in a relationship with a woman
Speaker 1: who's much older than you is like if she is
Speaker 1: like I if her, if she wants to like get
Speaker 1: married and have kids and like the whole thing, she's
Speaker 1: gonna want to do it sooner rather than later. And
Speaker 1: for you, if you're I mean, you're twenty four, is like,
Speaker 1: do you I mean, I don't know if this lady
Speaker 1: wants I don't know if this lady wants to get
Speaker 1: married enough kids and do the whole thing. I don't know.
Speaker 1: She might not. She might be like I never want
Speaker 1: If this lady is like I never want to do that,
Speaker 1: and you're like, great, I never want to do that,
Speaker 1: then it kind of doesn't fucking matter, you know. But
Speaker 1: if she wants to get more serious about life and
Speaker 1: more serious about the relationship because she's older and in
Speaker 1: a different part of her life, that's the only real
Speaker 1: that's the main reason why that age gap would be difficult,
Speaker 1: you know. But if she's just like, you know whatever,
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just here to hang out, then you know,
Speaker 1: you can keep hanging out. I think you're twenty four.
Speaker 1: Are you dumb for continuing this? You? Maybe you're probably
Speaker 1: dumb for doing a lot of things that you do.
Speaker 1: Not because you're a bad person or because you're dumb,
Speaker 1: but because, uh, because you just because we're all just
Speaker 1: a little uh dumb, you know what I mean? Does
Speaker 1: that make sense? How long have I been recording? For
Speaker 1: an hour and eight minutes? Let's reet, I think let's
Speaker 1: thank you guys for thank you guys for listening to
Speaker 1: this show. I'm gonna ramble a little bit. How do
Speaker 1: I feel? I feel tired. I don't feel good right now.
Speaker 1: I want I could ramble more. All I have to
Speaker 1: say is depressing shit though I want to be I
Speaker 1: wanted to say something. Let me let me think of
Speaker 1: something funny to say. Let's do I'm gonna think I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say some funny stuff. Let me read into my notes.
Speaker 1: I have notes about things. Okay, did you guys know
Speaker 1: that all I wrote this down a week ago? Do
Speaker 1: you guys know that all the holes on SpongeBob are
Speaker 1: actually Vagina's. It's secretly a very explicit show. Okay, let's
Speaker 1: keep going. I hate when the lady when I'm on
Speaker 1: a flight, and the lady at the gate says, have
Speaker 1: a safe flight, because that's your guys's job, because you
Speaker 1: fly the plane. All right. I'm addicted to diet soda.
Speaker 1: They say diet soda is just as bad for you
Speaker 1: as regular soda, but it's even worse when you drink
Speaker 1: it the way that I do, which is to chase
Speaker 1: it with regular soda. All right, let's keep going. Hold on,
Speaker 1: I have such strong decision paralysis that I sometimes fantasize
Speaker 1: about being taken hostage by terrorists just so that I
Speaker 1: don't have to decide what to do with my life.
Speaker 1: All right, Let's read one more email and then and
Speaker 1: then I'll let you guys get back to whatever you
Speaker 1: were doing. Uh, Okay, this is from someone. As soon
Speaker 1: as I pick here's why I do this, I say
Speaker 1: this is from and while I'm still figuring out, uh,
Speaker 1: which email I'm gonna pick? Okay, hold on, hold on,
Speaker 1: everyone calmed down. Everyone relacks. We're gonna find an email
Speaker 1: or I could read more of my notes. Let's just
Speaker 1: do that. Let's read more of my notes. Okay, did
Speaker 1: you you guys know the album? Okay? Computer by Radiohead.
Speaker 1: Did you guys know that that album is based off
Speaker 1: of something that I said to the computer once when
Speaker 1: it asked me if I wanted to see porn. My
Speaker 1: computer was like, would you like to see porn? And
Speaker 1: I said, okay, computer, okay, how about this? Sorry Albert Einstein,
Speaker 1: but I don't have sex on the first date? Okay
Speaker 1: about this. I don't think they could make Schindler's List today.
Speaker 1: I don't think they could make that movie Schindler's List
Speaker 1: today because he'd probably be using his notes app, not
Speaker 1: a list that I have to call it Schindler's notes app. Okay?
Speaker 1: Why do they dangle injured people from helicopters? You know
Speaker 1: how they like tie a person up. They get on
Speaker 1: the bed and they tie them up and they dangle
Speaker 1: them from the bottom. Why do they dangle injured people
Speaker 1: from helicopters? Why isn't there Why isn't there enough room
Speaker 1: in the helicopter? Okay, if I can find one more email,
Speaker 1: I will let's see. Okay, you know what, No, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna read more of these. Let's see if I can
Speaker 1: find this. All right, hold on, you guys are gonna
Speaker 1: like these? Okay, wait, all right, I'll do one more.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: The other day I stepped in dog shit and then
Speaker 1: washed my shoe off in a puddle of dog piss. No,
Speaker 1: we should read one more email, right, we should read
Speaker 1: one more email. TSA drops shoe removal rule for all travelers. Wait, No,
Speaker 1: that's spam. Thank you guys for listening to this. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're gonna we're gonna do one more email. We're gonna
Speaker 1: do one more real email if I can find one. Uh, Okay, okay.
Speaker 1: This is from Ethan High Gek. When I was a kid,
Speaker 1: me and my friend used to simulate what sex was
Speaker 1: like by peeing in each other's butts. We're still good
Speaker 1: friends to this day and have not brought it up
Speaker 1: to each other since. Should I bring it up to
Speaker 1: him and see what he says for context? We're both
Speaker 1: in our early twenties now. No, I don't think you
Speaker 1: should should ever tell anyone about that. I think this
Speaker 1: was gek mail. Was this gak mal? I only have
Speaker 1: myself as the bora. I think this was gak mal.
Speaker 1: I'm happy. I'm happy with it. I'm happy. I'm happy
Speaker 1: with it. I'm proud of it. I think it was
Speaker 1: I think we did it. I think this was a
Speaker 1: good gak male. I think I'm I'm sixty five percent
Speaker 1: sure this was a good gak male. It won't be
Speaker 1: the last gak mal, hopefully, who knows what happens in life,
Speaker 1: it won't be the last. I think it was a
Speaker 1: good one. It was at least a one, and I
Speaker 1: think I appreciate you guys listening to it. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go get on a plane and go to Iraq and
Speaker 1: talk to people about life and wear a get go
Speaker 1: suit and uh eat some stuff, I hope and uh yeah,
Speaker 1: by the time you guys are listening to this, That's
Speaker 1: where I'll be. Anyway, Thank you guys for listening to
Speaker 1: this show. I want to who do I want to think?
Speaker 1: I want to thank uh. I want to thank the
Speaker 1: creator of PEZ because I like Pez. That's it. That's it.
Speaker 1: This won't be the this listen, this won't be the
Speaker 1: last podcast. We'll do more. We'll do more podcasts. I'm
Speaker 1: happy with this. I think this worked out. Thank you
Speaker 1: guys for listening. Okay, I think I can't end it
Speaker 1: like this. I can't. I gotta key, I gotta all right.
Speaker 1: I know we got it. We got you know, what
Speaker 1: some you know what. Honestly, look, i'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 1: let this be a living example. Sometimes you gotta accept
Speaker 1: uh that that that that it didn't work. But I
Speaker 1: don't think this didn't work. I think this worked really well.
Speaker 1: I think this was a good episode. Thank you all
Speaker 1: for listening. See you guys again on Sunday when I
Speaker 1: post another one of the well, not another one of these.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be phone calls. Okay, all right, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you. I'm I'm glad we got to spend this
Speaker 1: hour together. Okay, thank you guys. Bye bye. Everything goes
Speaker 1: on the line, taking your phone calls every night. Everything
Speaker 1: goes to teaching you loud of your line.
Speaker 2: But he's not really an expert.