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Speaker 1: Hello, people of Earth and any other planets where this

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Speaker 1: podcast might be being listened to. This is Gek Mail.

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Speaker 1: This is a version of this show that I do

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Speaker 1: sometimes where I just talk into a camera alone in

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Speaker 1: a room for an hour. Did I say a camera,

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Speaker 1: I meant a microphone, although some cameras have microphones, if

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Speaker 1: not most cameras. And you know, yeah, so it's a podcast.

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Speaker 1: I make little observations like that. It's exciting, it's fun.

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Speaker 1: I read viewer mails. Some people like to call the

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Speaker 1: show to talk about things going on in their life.

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Speaker 1: Some people like to email the show with things going

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Speaker 1: on in their life. So I'm going to read some

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Speaker 1: of those emails. How am I doing. I'm doing pretty good.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to Iraq tomorrow. Well you'll hear this podcast

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Speaker 1: on Wednesday, but today I'm recording this. On Saturday, September

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Speaker 1: twenty seventh, I'm making my next documentary. I've talked about

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Speaker 1: this on the show before, but I'm making one little

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Speaker 1: documentary Gecko video a month, and I'm doing the October

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Speaker 1: one is going to be being a Gecko in Baghdad.

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Speaker 1: I have no further information, but I'm leaving on a

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Speaker 1: plane to go to Baghdad in about eight hours, and

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Speaker 1: I feel great about it. I'm excited. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: meet up with my buddy Muhammad that I met on

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Speaker 1: Instagram and uh, we're if as the more as of

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Speaker 1: let's see. Yeah, by the time this episode comes out,

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Speaker 1: I'll be there walking around talking to people. I'm excited.

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Speaker 1: Every time I tell people I've been, I haven't. This

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Speaker 1: is I think the first time I've really talked about

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Speaker 1: it on the show that I'm going. But when I

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Speaker 1: tell people that I'm going, they're like, that's crazy. But

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Speaker 1: I don't know, man, they got it. They have Johnny

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Speaker 1: Rockets there, they have the American burger chain Johnny Rockets,

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Speaker 1: they have a Burger King, they have some coffee shops.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you look at it and it looks like

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Speaker 1: any other place. It looks like any other place. That's

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Speaker 1: really how I feel is that everywhere is I mean

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Speaker 1: not literally everywhere. There's places that are different, but pretty

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Speaker 1: much everywhere is just there's people there and they're and

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Speaker 1: they're doing the things that humans do. We're biologically programmed

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Speaker 1: to eat food, be with other people of our species,

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Speaker 1: and have sex. So people in Iraq they're doing that

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Speaker 1: just like we do it in Ohio and in Uzbekistan

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Speaker 1: and in California and in Brazil. I don't know. Everywhere

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Speaker 1: is just every everywhere and everything's the same. That's what

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Speaker 1: I've learned from I don't know if Anthony Bourdain talked

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Speaker 1: about that on any of his travels. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if I believe that's true. And I actually, I actually

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Speaker 1: don't think everywhere and everything is the same. I don't,

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Speaker 1: but I think there's core similarities to places and things

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Speaker 1: that I think more places are similar than they are different.

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Speaker 1: But I don't want to wax poetic for too long.

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Speaker 1: That's where I'm going. I'm going there in eight hours.

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Speaker 1: I'll be there by the time you're listening to this,

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Speaker 1: so be on the lookout for that. When I get back,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna edit that shit and hopefully i'll have the

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Speaker 1: video ready to show you guys by the end of October.

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Speaker 1: So that's what's going on with me. I'm hot off

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Speaker 1: of ivants, I'm up, I'm down, I'm left, I'm right.

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Speaker 1: That's what's going on with me. I'm trying to maintain

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Speaker 1: a consistent mood throughout the day, and I'm excited. Let's

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Speaker 1: read some emails, and then I don't have any. I

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Speaker 1: don't have a lot more else to say about myself.

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Speaker 1: Let's read some emails. Okay, this is from uh Alex.

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Speaker 1: Subject line life update. We've never spoken before, but sometimes

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Speaker 1: life is good. Okay. I guess you can have an

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Speaker 1: update with somebody that you've never spoken to before, you know,

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Speaker 1: like an initial update. Okay, what's up, Lyle? Good luck?

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Speaker 1: So what's up? What's up? Lyle? I hope you're having

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Speaker 1: a good time on your travels. I wrote you before

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Speaker 1: and did not burn my journals, but still can't bring

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Speaker 1: myself to write for nothing, so I'll write to you instead.

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Speaker 1: Was this a person who wrote to me before? Maybe? Okay?

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Speaker 1: All right. I wanted to celebrate doing something I've never

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Speaker 1: done before earlier this month and the joy it brought

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Speaker 1: to me. Background. I upended my life and moved back

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Speaker 1: home seven months ago, have no friends, etc. One of

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Speaker 1: my favorite bands released an album this month, and I decided,

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Speaker 1: after much anxiety, to go to an early listening party

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Speaker 1: at a record store in my area. I like that

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Speaker 1: I already had one loan ticket to see their show,

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Speaker 1: so I figured I could handle this and didn't want

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Speaker 1: to miss the free stuff I got. I haven't done

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Speaker 1: anything for myself in months, So anyway, I went, got

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Speaker 1: my posters signed h signed up for some give Oh wait, no,

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Speaker 1: I went, got posters, signed up for giveaways. Disassociated a bit,

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Speaker 1: but loved the special experience that it was. I was

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Speaker 1: on the train home when they called and they said

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Speaker 1: I won two free tickets to the show Parentheses. I

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Speaker 1: didn't win shit. Oh okay, wait, oh no, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: sorry sorry it says parentheses. I don't win shit. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so they did win the tickets. They won the tickets,

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Speaker 1: but they believe that they do not win in general. Okay,

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Speaker 1: they won the tickets. I feel like the universe was

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Speaker 1: giving me a little pad on the back for finally

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Speaker 1: going outside. I gave the tickets to my mom and

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Speaker 1: little brother and got to watch the opener with them.

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Speaker 1: They loved the show almost as much as I did.

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Speaker 1: That's nice. All this to say, I hate that. You're right.

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Speaker 1: All we have to do is leave the goddamn house

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Speaker 1: sometimes and good things might happen. Usually not every time,

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Speaker 1: but it might be worth it just to see what

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Speaker 1: the hell is out there. Thanks for making a lot

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Speaker 1: of people feel less lonely and making us laugh. Keep

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Speaker 1: on getting from Alex. There we go I like this.

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Speaker 1: I like this. I don't shut up about it. I

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Speaker 1: talk about it all the time. But I just had

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Speaker 1: a friend stay with me over the weekend and he

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Speaker 1: told me a story. He was like, he was kind

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Speaker 1: of he was like, this was like back when he

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Speaker 1: was in college. He was like swiping on Tinder, and

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Speaker 1: he was like, you know, we all remember being in

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Speaker 1: college swiping on Tinder. Maybe some of us still are

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Speaker 1: in college swiping on Tinder. And he runs out of

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Speaker 1: swipes and he's like, I'm not gonna pay for marse

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Speaker 1: wipes and he's and he gets no, he's no matches, right,

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Speaker 1: no matches maybe like one match. Feeling like shit, feeling

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Speaker 1: like he's worth nothing, and no one wants to talk

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Speaker 1: to him, you know. So anyway, uh, he he gets

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Speaker 1: there's this like a fucking DJ in town. He wants

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Speaker 1: to go see. He messages like ten friends, Hey, you

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Speaker 1: want to go with me to this DJ thing? None

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Speaker 1: of all of them are busy. None of them responds,

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Speaker 1: So he's like, fuck it, I'm gonna go. He goes,

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Speaker 1: He meets some lady there, they make out, He goes

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Speaker 1: into the mosh pit, they make out again. He goes

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Speaker 1: back home in an uber and he's like, wow, I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm the king of the fucking universe. You know. I

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Speaker 1: know that's maybe that's not u a very detailed story,

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Speaker 1: but he likes telling that story. He tells that story

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Speaker 1: at all of his friends who struggle with like meeting people,

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Speaker 1: because it's like what this person said in this email,

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Speaker 1: the universe gave me a little pat on the back

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Speaker 1: for finally going outside. It's fucking true, man, It's true.

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Speaker 1: And I and I and I have to and and

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Speaker 1: you know, uh yeah I do. I fucking like go

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Speaker 1: and do shit and sometimes and go places. But I

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Speaker 1: have to remind myself the stuff. I forget this, I

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Speaker 1: really do. I forget this, and I get tired of

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Speaker 1: going outside.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot. But the universe just it just does.

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Speaker 1: It just rewards you for doing shit. So I commend

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Speaker 1: to this person for going outside. And I know, I

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Speaker 1: get the idea that this podcast has listened to by

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Speaker 1: a lot of people who don't, uh who maybe don't

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Speaker 1: like going outside. I don't know if that's true. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if that's true. There's a lot of I mean,

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Speaker 1: we talked to what, we've talked to a lot of

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Speaker 1: people who go outside, but I know there's there at

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Speaker 1: least a demographic of people who don't like going outside

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Speaker 1: that uh, listen to this, but go fucking God's do

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Speaker 1: some stuff. Man. I don't know. I've said it a

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Speaker 1: bunch of times, but I really do believe it. Okay.

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Speaker 1: This is from Jay's Swizzle subject line. I made a

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Speaker 1: difficult decision to end my relationship to pursue solo traveling.

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Speaker 1: Ooh hi, Lyle, I hope you're doing well. Your podcast

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Speaker 1: has really inspired me to give solo traveling a try.

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Speaker 1: I started off small by going to an EDM festival

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Speaker 1: by myself only a few hours away back in May,

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Speaker 1: then more recently, to a rock festival in Atlanta. Originally,

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Speaker 1: these were not going to be solo trips, as I

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Speaker 1: informed my then girlfriend about them and if she had

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Speaker 1: and asked if she had any interest. Due to her

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Speaker 1: work obligations, she was not able to go. During the

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Speaker 1: festival in Atlanta, I met a cool group of other

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Speaker 1: people who also traveled to a bunch of music festivals solo,

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Speaker 1: and I had an amazing time during that time off work,

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Speaker 1: to truly. I took time off work to truly reflect

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Speaker 1: on what I wanted and that was, and what I

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Speaker 1: wanted was to live a more authentic life that is

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Speaker 1: truer to who I am, an independent spirit. I was

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Speaker 1: honest with my girlfriend that I wanted to spend more

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Speaker 1: of my limited free time traveling solo, and that it

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Speaker 1: is not fair to string her along like that, even

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Speaker 1: though she claims she was fine with me going on

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Speaker 1: these trips even if she it wasn't with her. Okay, sorry,

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Speaker 1: I know, I'm I feel like I'm fucking up reading

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Speaker 1: these emails, but okay, I told I was honest with

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend that it wasn't fair to string her along

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Speaker 1: like that, even though she told me that she was

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Speaker 1: fine with me going on these trips without her. Long

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Speaker 1: story shirt, long story short. She thinks that it is

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Speaker 1: immature of me to do this and that I am

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Speaker 1: throwing this relationship away to party. But I truly believe

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Speaker 1: that this is how I discover who I really am.

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Speaker 1: I want to try going on an international trip alone

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Speaker 1: and giving hostile world to try anyway. I know this

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Speaker 1: was kind of a long email. This was not even

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Speaker 1: remotely a long email, but I appreciate your show, and

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Speaker 1: I admire you for living a lifestyle that is unconventional

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Speaker 1: and full of adventure. Much love from Florida, yours truly,

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Speaker 1: Jay Swizzle, you know, Jace was well, I appreciate uh

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Speaker 1: you saying that, and I I mean, I'll talk about

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Speaker 1: this right. So there's a bit of a ye. There's

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Speaker 1: a bit of a yin yang to life. I think

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Speaker 1: if you're a certain kind of person that wants to

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Speaker 1: live unconventionally, and I think it's a good ride to take.

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Speaker 1: I think if you're even thinking about taking the ride

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Speaker 1: of doing of being a little unconventional, even for just

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Speaker 1: a little bit, I think it's a really good ride

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Speaker 1: to take. It's uh scary and weird, weird and uncomfortable

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Speaker 1: and fucking but but true, honest, honest to fucking God.

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Speaker 1: The more life I live, the more I realized there

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Speaker 1: was there was no light, there was no route at all.

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Speaker 1: That isn't uh scary and weird and uncomfortable. But when

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Speaker 1: I was younger, I maybe would have point blank always

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Speaker 1: said that you should take the ticket and go on

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Speaker 1: the adventure. As I get older, the more I realized that,

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Speaker 1: you know, the things, I'm only going to speak for

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Speaker 1: my own personal experience. I don't like talking about these

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Speaker 1: this ship is if it applies to other people, So

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna speak the just for myself. For me, I'm

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Speaker 1: really happy and uh, really proud of myself for having

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Speaker 1: gone on like adventures and doing unconventional ship and doing

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Speaker 1: don't regret a single thing.

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Speaker 2: But when you leave, when you leave and.

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Speaker 1: You're in places and doing things where you're the only

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Speaker 1: one that knows you there, you can grow a lot

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Speaker 1: from that. But you can also start. If you do

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Speaker 1: that for too long, you start to spin right, because

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Speaker 1: life is like transient and weird, and it feels like,

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Speaker 1: at least for me, for me, my life has felt

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Speaker 1: transient and weird, and I felt like I've I felt

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Speaker 1: like I'm drowning a lot. And when you're on the

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Speaker 1: phone with like your friend or your mom, or you're

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Speaker 1: with people that you like know in a place that

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Speaker 1: you know, it feels like the only way to like

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Speaker 1: grab a fucking rung of the ladder so that you're

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Speaker 1: not fucking drowning. And I discovered that and felt that

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Speaker 1: way recently. But I also feel like drowning is good

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Speaker 1: a little bit, but that's okay. I mean, you can.

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Speaker 1: Here's the thing, Julian is you can run around and

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Speaker 1: solo travel and have your adventures. You should do it.

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Speaker 1: If you've never done it, you should fucking really do it.

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Speaker 1: You should really do it. But I loved what a

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Speaker 1: lot of you guys listened to the podcast. Shout out

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Speaker 1: my boy Trip, who talked about train hopping for twelve years.

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Speaker 1: There's a podcast, a few podcasts to go on here.

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Speaker 1: This guy Trip talked about train hopping for two years

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Speaker 1: and then he met this old man who lived that lifestyle,

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Speaker 1: and what he said really hit me. Where he was like,

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Speaker 1: it's a wonderful adventure, but it's not a good life.

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Speaker 1: And that makes a lot of fucking sense to me.

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Speaker 1: And over the years, I've really tried to kind of

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Speaker 1: redesign my life so that I have some sense of

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Speaker 1: semblance to a feeling of knowing people and knowing places.

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Speaker 1: And I think I think I needed a community to survive,

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Speaker 1: and I needed people in my real life who knew

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Speaker 1: me to survive, and I needed to call to be

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Speaker 1: on the phone with my mom and my friends and

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Speaker 1: do all those things. To feel like I exist, you know,

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Speaker 1: But it's also trying to carve out time to you know,

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Speaker 1: go to Iraq and walk around it's a gecko h

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Speaker 1: and and do things that feel exciting and adventurous. Time

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Speaker 1: flies like crazy when you're living in a routine, you know.

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Speaker 1: And also these are all privileged things, so listen, if

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Speaker 1: you have the fucking ability to run around, go crazy.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, at least for me, I've tried to have

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Speaker 1: a balance, and I think it's it's been good. Sorry, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm just rambling. I mean, I know, the whole fucking

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Speaker 1: the whole, this whole thing is just me rambling. But

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Speaker 1: I hope you guys are enjoying listening to it. Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's the best, the best time to book a flight.

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Speaker 1: Oh wait, Okay, this is spam.

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Speaker 2: You know what.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna read a little bit of spam. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: let's take a break from the viewer mail and let's

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Speaker 1: just read some spam, shall we. Okay, this is from

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Speaker 1: Grace Janet. This is my spam folder. Congratulations on publishing

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Speaker 1: your book. That's such an exciting milestone. Where did you

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Speaker 1: publish it? I've been chatting with authors lately, who are

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Speaker 1: trying to figure out the next steps how to get

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Speaker 1: more eyes on their book and keep the momentum going.

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Speaker 1: If that's something on your mind too, I'd love to

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Speaker 1: share a few simple ideas that might help. Let's connect.

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Speaker 1: This is from Grace jan This is from Grace Janet,

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Speaker 1: the published sure at gmail dot com. I'm gonna respond

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Speaker 1: to this. Hello Grace, thank you so much. I love you.

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Speaker 1: Let's connect about my book. Begin quotation marks the art

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Speaker 1: of killing a ladybugs who are evil? Send. Okay, there's

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Speaker 1: a waste of time. I kind of want to read

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Speaker 1: more spam. All right. This is from WILLIAMS. Smith. This

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Speaker 1: is a long one. Am I gonna read this? Oh? Okay?

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Speaker 1: This is from christa subject line be grateful with three

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Speaker 1: exclamation points. Beloved, blessed one. Thank you for going through

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Speaker 1: this email, and sorry this might seem like a surprise

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Speaker 1: since this is my first time writing to you. I

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Speaker 1: am missus Christina Earthed, a cancer patient and also a widow.

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Speaker 1: I have something of importance I would like to discuss

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Speaker 1: with you. If granted, I would be glad if you

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Speaker 1: would send me an email, and I would readily disclose

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Speaker 1: my intentions of contacting you, as I believe God has

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Speaker 1: put us in contact for a reason. This I ask

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Speaker 1: for the sake of you who are mindful and need

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Speaker 1: to be acknowledged. I'm gonna reply. I hope you feel better. Send. Okay.

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Speaker 1: If there's any more funny spam emails, I'll read them,

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Speaker 1: but most of them are just don't make any sense. Okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, why do people Hello therapy, you goto mail?

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Speaker 1: Tired of one week spikes and then silence? And your

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Speaker 1: Amazon book sales? Why do these people think I'm selling

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Speaker 1: a book? All right, let's read. Let's read mails from

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Speaker 1: more people, from real people. Okay, Oh, this is cool. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is this is an update. I was just talking

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Speaker 1: about our boy Trip, who did that long podcast about

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Speaker 1: hopping trains. He sent us a follow up uh subject

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Speaker 1: line it's Steve the caller who rode trains. Hey, Lyle,

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Speaker 1: thank you for giving me the space to share. I've

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Speaker 1: gotten maybe a dozen emails so far, and all of

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Speaker 1: them were just so positive and from people all over

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Speaker 1: the world who wanted to wish me some words of encouragement.

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Speaker 1: One email, though, caught me off guard and made me

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Speaker 1: feel really emotional. It was from this guy in Canada,

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Speaker 1: who said my story really made him think about his

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Speaker 1: own family and his dad and how he's always had

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Speaker 1: both of his parents and they lived with him and

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Speaker 1: now he's going to be an elementary school teacher. He

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Speaker 1: said how it made him reach out to his dad

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Speaker 1: and telling me he loves him, and said I will

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Speaker 1: probably affect other people similarly. It was just really intense

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Speaker 1: and I felt it so deeply. Bro. I felt the

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Speaker 1: same way when I was listening to your conversation, your

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Speaker 1: your your story, Steve, I called my dad. I was like,

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Speaker 1: what's up.

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Speaker 3: Bro.

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Speaker 1: It's always weird when you get like really like when

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Speaker 1: like something hits you emotionally and it makes you want

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Speaker 1: to reach out to someone, but like they're just like

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Speaker 1: living their life and like they're not they don't match

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Speaker 1: you on the same oment. Not that my dad is

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Speaker 1: uh you know, I have a loving father, but uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, sometimes you get in your feels and then

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Speaker 1: you're you reach out till you're like you reach out

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Speaker 1: to your friend and you're like, hey, I love you, man.

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Speaker 1: I just want you to know that he's like, thanks, man,

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Speaker 1: he's over there. You're okay, you know what I mean? Anyway,

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Speaker 1: I've been reading all the Spotify comments and I added

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Speaker 1: my blue Sky on there, so people started following me

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Speaker 1: on blue Sky and starting conversations with me. And it

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Speaker 1: feels really good to get this outside perspective on my life.

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Speaker 1: And it's helped me see how good I really am

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Speaker 1: doing with what I have. That's so awesome. I also

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Speaker 1: wanted to share this quote with you. Life is not

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Speaker 1: always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes playing

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Speaker 1: a poor hand well Jack London, Oh, I'm such a

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Speaker 1: fan of that quote. Yeah, I'm a fan of that quot.

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Speaker 1: I was thinking about that last night. I was thinking

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Speaker 1: about that last night. There's things I'm insecure about and

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Speaker 1: I don't feel good about with my uh you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm insecure about things, and some of them are things

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Speaker 1: that I just feel like are inherent to my existence.

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Speaker 1: And you can waste a lot of motherfucking time being

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Speaker 1: jealous or like yearning for shit that you can't that's

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Speaker 1: not you, yearning to be something that's not you. You

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Speaker 1: can waste a lot of time doing that. And I'm

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Speaker 1: just like I felt, I remember, Yeah, I felt really good.

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Speaker 1: I was. Yeah, I was thinking about like an insecurity

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Speaker 1: and I felt I remember just thinking to myself. I'm like, well, okay,

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Speaker 1: but I'm alive and I'm me, and this is it.

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Speaker 1: And I accepted it about myself, and I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 1: well I'll just go from there. I'm like, I was

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Speaker 1: like looking at I was looking at someone else, and

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Speaker 1: I was like getting I think I was getting jealous,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, well I'm not that, and

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Speaker 1: sitting here wanting to be that is not helpful. So

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Speaker 1: just accept just accept it, accept that you're not that,

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Speaker 1: accept the fucking insecurity, and then go from there. And

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Speaker 1: then once you go from there, you're like, oh wow,

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Speaker 1: I can actually go I can try this, I can

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Speaker 1: try that, I can do this and that and the

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Speaker 1: other thing, you know. And then also, bro, there's so

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Speaker 1: many For every person that you're jealous of, there's like

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Speaker 1: three hundred thousand billion people who you're like, wow, I'm

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Speaker 1: glad that that is not my life life. So all right,

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Speaker 1: this is from Andrea. Subject line makeup conformity versus non conformity. Hello, GHEK.

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Speaker 1: I have no concerns of anonymity, so you can say

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Speaker 1: my first name very good. Me and my sister didn't

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Speaker 1: grow out very affectionate. But one thing she said off

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Speaker 1: the cuff in a moment of sincerity and vulnerability, continues

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00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:31,919
Speaker 1: to ring in my mind. When we were younger, I

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Speaker 1: used to be jealous of you because I thought you

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Speaker 1: were so beautiful. Even now, you have so much potential

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Speaker 1: if you just tried. Okay, we're back. We're on the uh,

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Speaker 1: we're on the envy theme. You see. I'm twenty one

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Speaker 1: now and I've never practiced makeup or anything like that

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Speaker 1: until when I turned nineteen, and for the first time

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Speaker 1: in my life, I started trying, quote unquote to be beautiful.

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Speaker 1: And the worst part is it actually worked. I'm autistic,

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Speaker 1: and I think it definitely played into my apathy toward

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Speaker 1: gender presentation and roles for so long. When I started

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Speaker 1: wearing makeup, I leaned into the absurdity and performative performativity

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Speaker 1: of gender and literally put it in the exact words

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Speaker 1: of I've decided to take up my role. My immediate

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Speaker 1: family lit up with excitement and smiles seeing me wear

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Speaker 1: girly makeup, gurly clothes in a way they never did before.

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Speaker 1: I was happy with their happiness, and it wasn't just

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Speaker 1: them when I dressed feminine, when I was beautiful, when

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Speaker 1: I bought in. I felt like other people treated me better,

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Speaker 1: especially the opposite gender. In high school, I felt invisible,

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Speaker 1: and I carried that into the start of my young

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Speaker 1: adult life until this period where I felt seen and

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Speaker 1: looked at for the first time in my life. I

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Speaker 1: had a short stint where I went crazy for external

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Speaker 1: validation by the opposite sex, though I am mostly over

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Speaker 1: that now, thank god. I realized external valid is fleeting

406
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Speaker 1: from people you don't really give a fuck about and

407
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:06,639
Speaker 1: will always leave you chasing more. There's more to this email,

408
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:11,200
Speaker 1: but I want to think about that. Yeah, external validation.

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00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,480
Speaker 2: Uh, I've I've.

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Speaker 1: Learned, bro, I've learned over and over. I'm twenty this

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Speaker 1: person's twenty one. I'm twenty seven, about to be twenty eight.

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00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:25,240
Speaker 1: I've learned. I have so many lessons in my life

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Speaker 1: that I've just learned over and over and over again,

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Speaker 1: and then thought I and then I realized I thought

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Speaker 1: I learned them, and then I didn't. You know so

416
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:42,280
Speaker 1: many lessons that you fucking like this one, this, like

417
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Speaker 1: this this girl being like, external validation is fleeting. It's true.

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Speaker 1: It's just so true. It's the truth. You will never

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Speaker 1: ever in your life have enough external validation. You won't,

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Speaker 1: and bro, I've gotten more external I've gotten more external

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Speaker 1: validation than ninety nine percent of people that ever lived.

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Speaker 1: We'll get to have. So trust me when I tell

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Speaker 1: you it's not I'm not gonna say i'd be lying.

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00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:15,160
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna flat out lie and say it's worth nothing.

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00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,360
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna flat out lie and say it's worth nothing.

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00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 1: But I'm not gonna say it's worth nothing. But I'm

427
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:30,400
Speaker 1: gonna say it's not everything. I'll say that. Okay, back

428
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,720
Speaker 1: to the email. And yes, some of this may just

429
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:36,400
Speaker 1: be internal projection. I wear makeup, I feel more confident,

430
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 1: better results, vicious cycle. But that only counts for some

431
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 1: of it because people definitely do treat me better. When

432
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 1: I quote unquote buy in, a bud of resentment has grown,

433
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 1: and I realized I don't want to associate with ninety

434
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,399
Speaker 1: percent of people who would treat me better if I

435
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:55,880
Speaker 1: can form. I heard this quote that really resonated, which

436
00:26:56,040 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 1: was the prize of inauthenticity, is that everyone loves you

437
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:09,360
Speaker 1: but yourself. Hoo hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoof Well, let

438
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 1: that stu for a second. The prize of inauthenticity is

439
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:19,040
Speaker 1: that everyone loves you but yourself. I've limited my makeup use.

440
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get comfortable in my skin and regress

441
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:24,439
Speaker 1: back to my authentic self expression that is less performative,

442
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 1: more autistic, but also much less happily received. Often I

443
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:31,320
Speaker 1: battle with the idea of feeling like I have to

444
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:33,679
Speaker 1: perform a version of myself to be liked or to

445
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:37,359
Speaker 1: be accepted. My dream is community and being surrounded by people.

446
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 1: To what extent that is only achievable if I swallow

447
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:45,120
Speaker 1: a piece of myself. Unfortunately, I'm not somebody people naturally

448
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,840
Speaker 1: gravitate too, and I only got a taste of what

449
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,879
Speaker 1: that was like when I was performing. Despite trying to

450
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 1: logic my way out of it and my resentment to conformity,

451
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 1: I'm addicted to that feeling and still find myself reaching

452
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:01,920
Speaker 1: towards that reality, the one where I am only existing

453
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 1: as a fraction of myself, but I fulfill this deep

454
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:09,719
Speaker 1: dream of mind to be with people. That's the end

455
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 1: of the email. Wow, thank you so much for sharing this, Andrea.

456
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:15,720
Speaker 1: This is a lot to chew on I have. I

457
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:21,200
Speaker 1: have thoughts and feelings on this one because I want

458
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,480
Speaker 1: to be realistic. I really do. I don't want to

459
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 1: sit I'm and I'm not that guy. I'm really not

460
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 1: that guy. I'm I'm. I know, I get a label

461
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:36,119
Speaker 1: of like being a wholesome being, and like, you know,

462
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm not into I try so fucking hard

463
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,959
Speaker 1: to be optimistic, but I don't. I'm not into toxic

464
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 1: positivity and I'm not into like, uh, platitudes and I

465
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 1: and I really try to have like a grounded sense

466
00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:01,440
Speaker 1: of these things. And I'm trying to figure them out

467
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:05,800
Speaker 1: myself every day. Every day I'm trying to figure them

468
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 1: out myself. I think about these things, dude, I'm talking

469
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:14,040
Speaker 1: about the idea mainly of like be yourself right, Like

470
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 1: that's the platitude, be yourself. And none of this is advice,

471
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:25,800
Speaker 1: this is I'm just this Honestly. These episodes are just

472
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 1: therapy for me. They're just me talking through this shit.

473
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 1: But be yourself as tricky, right, because the parts of

474
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 1: yourself that you don't you don't want to bring out

475
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 1: all the time. And maybe there's people you want to

476
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 1: be around and or there's people you want to attract

477
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 1: or this things you want to do, and you realize

478
00:29:50,120 --> 00:30:00,240
Speaker 1: that you have to change to be to achieve those

479
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 1: things you want to achieve. And I don't think that

480
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 1: that change is always bad necessarily, unless if it makes

481
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,920
Speaker 1: you feel really bad. I don't know if I got this.

482
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 1: And I'm talking about myself. I'm not talking about this person.

483
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 1: I don't know if I got the sense of this

484
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 1: person necessarily hate swearing makeup. So I'm just talking about myself.

485
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 1: And there are times where I feel like I have this.

486
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 1: I have this feeling sometimes where I'm like, I feel

487
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 1: this way about like making making videos, making art, working

488
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 1: a dating. I have this feeling sometimes, friendship. I just

489
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 1: have this feeling. All the important areas of life, right, creativity, romance, community,

490
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 1: all these things. I have this feeling, this thoughts sometimes

491
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:59,160
Speaker 1: that says to me like if I if I approach

492
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 1: everything just as I am, I'll naturally be gravitated toward, uh,

493
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:15,680
Speaker 1: what's right for me. And then sometimes I'm like, what

494
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,479
Speaker 1: are you a fucking idiot? No, don't do that at all,

495
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 1: don't do that at all, don't fucking do that. Don't

496
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 1: do that at all. Uh, you gotta put in a

497
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,240
Speaker 1: little bit of effort because that the reason I say

498
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:35,840
Speaker 1: is because that makes me feel very apathetic, right, Like,

499
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 1: if I'm in a shitty mood and I'm like whatever,

500
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 1: I might go on a date with someone or about

501
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 1: to make a thing or do whatever, I'm just like, well,

502
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 1: this be however you are. And I think there's something

503
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 1: to that. But I also think that that mindset has

504
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 1: prevented me from putting in active effort towards making positive changes.

505
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 1: And it's it's really just for me. It's been a

506
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 1: desire to just make my life easier. By the way,

507
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:10,640
Speaker 1: this is other thing to do. I'm I'm, I'm this

508
00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:13,040
Speaker 1: is just me. I'm not talking about this person who

509
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:17,480
Speaker 1: emailed me. But sometimes I feel like that's just me

510
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 1: taking like an easy way out. I feel that way sometimes, man,

511
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:24,200
Speaker 1: I really do like be as you are, Like, no

512
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 1: fucking you know, if you want to be more confident,

513
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 1: if you want to be more funny, if you want

514
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:36,720
Speaker 1: to be more make things in a different way or

515
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 1: this or that the other thing, like, you gotta put

516
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 1: in effort to change positively to get the things that

517
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 1: you want. And this idea of like let me just

518
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 1: let everything go and allow the universe to naturally bring

519
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 1: it bring what it brings to me. It feels like

520
00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:02,240
Speaker 1: giving up sometimes. I don't know if that's true. I'm

521
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 1: just talking about my but it feels like giving up. Sometimes.

522
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:08,920
Speaker 1: It feels like me just being like, all right, well,

523
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:15,200
Speaker 1: let me not put any effort into trying to be

524
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:20,040
Speaker 1: more than what I am, and I'll just let what

525
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 1: the universe naturally gives to me come to me. But then,

526
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 1: but dude, sometimes, and you know what, that works for

527
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 1: some people, because some and sometimes I think that works though,

528
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 1: if you just approach everything exactly as you are and

529
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 1: you let the universe give you what it gives you,

530
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:39,400
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, I'm pretty happy with this. But

531
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 1: sometimes you approach everything exactly as you are and you

532
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:43,880
Speaker 1: let the universe give you what it gives you, and

533
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:47,240
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, I don't I don't know. If I

534
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:50,000
Speaker 1: don't know, if I like what the universe has given me,

535
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:53,440
Speaker 1: I think I'd like a little bit more than that.

536
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 1: And so you change. And that's the way of the world.

537
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 1: I want to be really stick about these things. I

538
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,239
Speaker 1: don't have. I don't have answers though I don't know.

539
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:11,439
Speaker 1: I don't and I don't apply a judgment value to it.

540
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,879
Speaker 1: I don't think either is a because sometimes I think

541
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:19,360
Speaker 1: what people say is performative is just like putting in effort,

542
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:25,719
Speaker 1: putting trying new shit, Like, Okay, I've been approaching my

543
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 1: life as I am for this long and I'm not

544
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 1: happy with what life has given me back, is it

545
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 1: performative to go, well, let me try acting like this

546
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:45,440
Speaker 1: and even and if I do try acting like this,

547
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:51,200
Speaker 1: is that not me? Anything I do is something I

548
00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:55,759
Speaker 1: would do. But but back to this person's email, is

549
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:59,799
Speaker 1: that if you do feel like whatever you're doing is

550
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 1: like strong, like you can feel in your gut, I

551
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 1: think when you're misaligned, and so if whatever thing you're

552
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:12,359
Speaker 1: doing to make that effort feels strong, like in your

553
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 1: fucking gut, like strongly misaligned, then yeah, I think it's

554
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:22,640
Speaker 1: not something to follow. I don't know if any of

555
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:24,399
Speaker 1: what I just said makes sense. I think it does,

556
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:27,440
Speaker 1: because yeah, I don't want to like, I don't want

557
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 1: to give up. I want to hold on. I feel

558
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 1: like I talk too much about myself and not enough

559
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:38,959
Speaker 1: about this person who uh, because I talked about myself,

560
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 1: I want to talk about this person specifically. I battle

561
00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:43,360
Speaker 1: with the idea of feeling like I have to perform

562
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,239
Speaker 1: a version of myself to be liked or accepted. My

563
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 1: dream is community and being surrounded by people to what

564
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 1: extent that is only achievable that if I swallow a

565
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:54,120
Speaker 1: piece of myself. Okay, that I don't believe that. I

566
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:56,480
Speaker 1: don't this person's saying. Unfortunately, I'm not swing that people

567
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:58,480
Speaker 1: naturally gravitate too, and I only got a taste of

568
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:02,560
Speaker 1: what that was like when I was performing. I'm addicted

569
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,280
Speaker 1: to that feeling and find myself reaching towards that reality,

570
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:07,880
Speaker 1: the one where I only exist as a fraction of myself,

571
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 1: but I fulfill this deep tree of mine to be

572
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 1: with people. Okay, I'm gonna talk about this person specifically

573
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:27,600
Speaker 1: because I think that if you're trying to like find

574
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:34,600
Speaker 1: community and make friends and be around a lot of people,

575
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 1: I do think that again. I think that again. Yet

576
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 1: you some combination of being your authentic self and putting

577
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:49,880
Speaker 1: in some kind of effort that I don't necessarily think

578
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:55,239
Speaker 1: you need to label as performative can get you there, right,

579
00:36:55,719 --> 00:37:03,800
Speaker 1: I mean you're talking about I mean, you're twenty one.

580
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 1: I don't know any I don't really know anything. I

581
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:10,320
Speaker 1: don't this person Andrea, I don't know a lot about

582
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,640
Speaker 1: her from this email I don't know anything about her,

583
00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 1: but I do think that if she keeps I mean,

584
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,040
Speaker 1: you know, it's the thing I've been talking about to death.

585
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 1: But if you just keep finding places to continue to be,

586
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 1: I do think you'll eventually be around people. But you

587
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 1: might have to make some changes. Yeah, you might have

588
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:36,840
Speaker 1: to make some changes. I think at the end of

589
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:38,719
Speaker 1: the day, Yes, you have to make some changes that

590
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:44,760
Speaker 1: you're uncomfortable with and that are kind of hard. Because

591
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:52,960
Speaker 1: I really like taking both sides of this argument, and

592
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,360
Speaker 1: because I have a little bit of the I have

593
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 1: a little bit of both of these things in me,

594
00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:01,279
Speaker 1: which are like like some form of like radical. I

595
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:03,479
Speaker 1: really have both these things, and me like a half

596
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:09,719
Speaker 1: of my brain is a radical self love except be

597
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 1: yourself and everything is gonna be okay. Like I have

598
00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 1: I have a deep like left brain hippie part of

599
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 1: my brain, and then I have the I have a capitalist,

600
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:27,360
Speaker 1: uh you must provide value to have value part of

601
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:35,319
Speaker 1: my brain, and they they just coexist. It's who I am,

602
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:40,040
Speaker 1: It's how I think about life. And both of those

603
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:44,160
Speaker 1: wolves are living in my fucking brain. The wolf again,

604
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:46,239
Speaker 1: I'm talking about myself, the wolf of like if I

605
00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 1: if I lose weight, I will be uh more attractive

606
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:56,680
Speaker 1: and lovable. If I make more money, I will have

607
00:38:56,840 --> 00:39:02,719
Speaker 1: more I will be happier if I do this. And

608
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:05,920
Speaker 1: then they're like the capitalists you, I mean, as we

609
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 1: must provide value as a person to be valued in

610
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 1: society like that, Like that's a. That's a that's a

611
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 1: solid half of my brain. And then again I have

612
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 1: the other solid half of my brain that's like no, no, no, no,

613
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:24,880
Speaker 1: like very hippy like no. Be as you are, you,

614
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:28,480
Speaker 1: you are enough, you exist, you be, you can, You're

615
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:36,960
Speaker 1: completely fine exactly how you are. And uh yeah, these

616
00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:38,439
Speaker 1: are those two parts of my brain. Those two parts

617
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 1: of my brain. They battle each other, and I think

618
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 1: they both have valid things, they both have valid things

619
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 1: to say. And then they both have times where each

620
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:50,920
Speaker 1: other is talking and I'm like, shut the fuck up,

621
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:56,520
Speaker 1: you're insane, you know. So I try to pull from

622
00:39:56,600 --> 00:40:03,719
Speaker 1: each side of that to uh like address things. But

623
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 1: I think this person can find community. But again, you

624
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 1: have to put yourself out there to do it. Okay,

625
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 1: I've spoken too long on this. Thank you for sharing. Andrea.

626
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:19,840
Speaker 1: All Right, this is from Aaron subject line, Hi gek,

627
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:21,439
Speaker 1: I'm in the same boat. As you when it comes

628
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:24,799
Speaker 1: to existentialism, depression in general, life. Long story short, I'm

629
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 1: wondering what books you've read that have helped you with

630
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:31,239
Speaker 1: these problems and your mindset toward life in general. Keep

631
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:35,520
Speaker 1: on keeping my scaly friend. Uh, I'm not gonna lie

632
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 1: to you, Aaron. I can't remember the last time I

633
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:41,719
Speaker 1: read a book cover to cover. I can't. I'm like,

634
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:46,839
Speaker 1: I don't read a lot of books. I'm too Uh yeah,

635
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:53,359
Speaker 1: I don't like. I don't. I'm either I'm either working, procrastinating,

636
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 1: or trying to be out of my house. And so

637
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:02,000
Speaker 1: I haven't had I haven't had had books in there.

638
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:06,279
Speaker 1: I mean, I've been playing Donkey Kong Bonanza, and that's

639
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:13,520
Speaker 1: taught me. What is Donkey Kong Bananza taught me. It's

640
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:17,880
Speaker 1: taught me that if you play video games, you'll be

641
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:20,359
Speaker 1: a little bit less depressed for the duration of time

642
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:25,320
Speaker 1: that you're playing them. So that's Donkey Kong Bonanza is

643
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:29,720
Speaker 1: technically the last book I read, if you count Donkey

644
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 1: Kong as a book. Okay, this is from a Zia. Hello,

645
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:43,960
Speaker 1: my name is Azia. I have followed your podcast on

646
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:46,319
Speaker 1: and off for a few years now. Some of the

647
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 1: other issues people raised there are relatable for me. I

648
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:52,160
Speaker 1: haven't had any friends for about a decade now. Almost

649
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:54,319
Speaker 1: everything in my life seems to be going wrong, as

650
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:57,360
Speaker 1: if I'm cursed. I was unfortunately the target of a

651
00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:01,320
Speaker 1: dosing campaign online a few years back that got shared

652
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:06,560
Speaker 1: to family, classmates, and coworkers. Jeez. Since then, I've dropped

653
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:09,840
Speaker 1: out of medical school and struggled with unemployment, isolation, and

654
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:13,279
Speaker 1: mental illness. I'm currently broke and living with my grandparents

655
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 1: with pretty much no room or belongings of my own.

656
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 1: I'm at a loss as to how to make friends

657
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:21,880
Speaker 1: or stop the continued breakdown. I've tried to make friends

658
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:24,360
Speaker 1: in my local area by attending meetups or just putting

659
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:27,719
Speaker 1: myself out there at libraries and social events. I tried

660
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:31,239
Speaker 1: clubs at school and making friends with my classmates and coworkers.

661
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:34,759
Speaker 1: I've tried a lot of different communities online on platforms

662
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:38,840
Speaker 1: like Reddit, Discord, etc. Both advertising for friends directly or

663
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,320
Speaker 1: sharing my personal projects and hobbies to see if I

664
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 1: can gain traction and find friends that way. I've done

665
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 1: this almost full time for about three to four years now,

666
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:51,360
Speaker 1: with no luck. I also haven't stopped the continued online

667
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 1: harassment I don't know if there are other people who

668
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 1: listen to your podcast or call in who have run

669
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,879
Speaker 1: into similar issues, but I'd really like to help get

670
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:02,040
Speaker 1: my story out there find connection. Thanks for your time,

671
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:11,160
Speaker 1: best a Zia. I'm okay, well this this is uh.

672
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:15,359
Speaker 1: I feel like I can't have too many thoughts on this,

673
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 1: but there's so many like details to this. I was

674
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:24,800
Speaker 1: the target of a dosing campaign. I mean that fucking sucks.

675
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:32,920
Speaker 1: M m m. I really want to offer some I

676
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:36,239
Speaker 1: really want to find some words for this person. I'm

677
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:37,879
Speaker 1: at a losses to how to make friends or stop

678
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:39,720
Speaker 1: to continue to break down. I've tried to make friends

679
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:41,920
Speaker 1: in my local area by turning meetups or putting myself

680
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:42,279
Speaker 1: out there.

681
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:50,040
Speaker 3: M hm hm m mmm.

682
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,320
Speaker 1: Okay, well I guess I guess I'm gonna infer I

683
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,399
Speaker 1: mean from this person's email. I'm gonna infer what they want,

684
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 1: which is they want a community. And it's the same

685
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:05,879
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, it's it's the same thing I've been

686
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:08,799
Speaker 1: talking about. But this is a person who's like, Okay,

687
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:11,920
Speaker 1: I've been trying this for four years now with no luck.

688
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 1: I also han't stopped the continued online harassment. Why is

689
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:21,040
Speaker 1: this person being harassed online. You know that doesn't even matter. Well,

690
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 1: you gotta get off the internet. You just got it.

691
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:24,920
Speaker 1: If you can get off the internet, if you if you,

692
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 1: if you can, you gotta get off the internet. People

693
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:32,200
Speaker 1: did it. People made friends without being on the internet

694
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:35,880
Speaker 1: for a while. And if you're just like constantly getting

695
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:39,279
Speaker 1: if the inner if looking at your phone has just

696
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:44,040
Speaker 1: become like a horrible thing of like harassments, and you've

697
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 1: gone to the authorities and you've like just fucking exhausted

698
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:51,279
Speaker 1: every thing that you can to like get this ship

699
00:44:51,360 --> 00:44:53,360
Speaker 1: to stop. At a certain point, you just got to

700
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:55,960
Speaker 1: fucking turn the computer off because you don't want you

701
00:44:55,960 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 1: don't want to have that uh ringing through you. And man,

702
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:06,680
Speaker 1: I don't know sometimes when you turn the computer off,

703
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:13,759
Speaker 1: and like I've I've pal dude, I've palpitably noticed how

704
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:17,280
Speaker 1: much more calm I feel when I go like a

705
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:20,360
Speaker 1: a few days without looking at my phone, which I

706
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:27,840
Speaker 1: do about once every three years. How does this person

707
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:34,400
Speaker 1: find connection? I really, I really really really want to

708
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:39,560
Speaker 1: be optimistic about this. I really do, because I just

709
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:46,760
Speaker 1: really want to fucking believe as possible for everyone hmmm hmmm.

710
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:50,360
Speaker 1: And I don't want to give I hate giving bullshit

711
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:54,640
Speaker 1: platitudes because I really I've tried to make friends in

712
00:45:54,680 --> 00:46:02,360
Speaker 1: my local area, but I just put there's enough. This

713
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:04,160
Speaker 1: is this is a person, this is I think this

714
00:46:04,239 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 1: is someone I have to like talk with to get

715
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:09,759
Speaker 1: an idea of what's going on with them. I don't

716
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:13,080
Speaker 1: know how much I can I have to think or

717
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:20,520
Speaker 1: say from just this email. The only I get the

718
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,440
Speaker 1: thing about like these emails, like you have to assume

719
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:27,240
Speaker 1: a lot. I guess I'm going to assume that.

720
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 2: You're like.

721
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:40,520
Speaker 1: Hopping around a lot maybe and maybe you need to

722
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:44,600
Speaker 1: stay at the same place and and and invest yourself

723
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:50,160
Speaker 1: in one like find find a community, and like invest

724
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:54,480
Speaker 1: yourself in that one community, and like see how you

725
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:56,880
Speaker 1: can bring value that one community. And also man like

726
00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 1: you might have to you might have to give yourself

727
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:01,000
Speaker 1: like an ath. Okay, I'm actually gonna tie this back.

728
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,319
Speaker 1: I'm gonna okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna tie

729
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:06,920
Speaker 1: this back to actually a lot of the shit that

730
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:10,919
Speaker 1: I've been talking about on this uh episode so far,

731
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:13,359
Speaker 1: which is that you might have to audit. You might

732
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:16,879
Speaker 1: have to give yourself an honest audit and don't break down.

733
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:21,240
Speaker 1: You might have to give yourself a fucking honest audit.

734
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 1: That's that's why I have that other fifty percent of

735
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:29,759
Speaker 1: my brain that says you're not enough to myself is

736
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 1: because sometimes saying that's sometimes saying you're enough can be

737
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 1: dangerous because sometimes you gotta you gotta give yourself an

738
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:41,000
Speaker 1: honest audit. It's the only way to go move forward

739
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:43,960
Speaker 1: in a positive way. Give yourself an honest audit. Talk

740
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:49,080
Speaker 1: to people who know you, and it's like, look, you

741
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:52,360
Speaker 1: may you might be a little bit off putting. You

742
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:58,200
Speaker 1: might be kind of annoying, you might be mean, you

743
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:01,279
Speaker 1: might be the things. I don't know if you are,

744
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:03,879
Speaker 1: but you might be, and you might just not know it.

745
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:07,759
Speaker 1: And if you audit yourself, or you talk to people,

746
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:09,920
Speaker 1: or you think about yourself, and you discover that you

747
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:18,160
Speaker 1: are those things, dear fucking God, please, please, please, If

748
00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:21,840
Speaker 1: you audit yourself and you discover that you're annoying, or

749
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:24,239
Speaker 1: that you're off putting, or that you're hostile, or that

750
00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:32,080
Speaker 1: you're any other thing, please please don't spiral. Don't spiral.

751
00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:36,279
Speaker 1: Don't spiral. It's not what you want to do. You

752
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:40,839
Speaker 1: want to approach this fucking like a scientist. You want

753
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:42,840
Speaker 1: to look at yourself and be like, all right, I

754
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:46,840
Speaker 1: possess these negative qualities that might be pushing people away.

755
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:53,239
Speaker 1: And I'm actually kind of happy that I know this

756
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 1: about myself now. And I'm not gonna spiral. I'm not

757
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:58,319
Speaker 1: gonna be like, oh I'm annoying, no one likes me.

758
00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:01,600
Speaker 1: I can't change. I'm gonna go, Okay, what can I

759
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:03,320
Speaker 1: do next time? This is where you got This is

760
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 1: where again to what I was talking about with the

761
00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 1: other email and about myself is you got to be like, Okay,

762
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:14,200
Speaker 1: well what can I do differently? How can I And

763
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:18,399
Speaker 1: it's not performative, it's just we're trying new shit because

764
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:20,319
Speaker 1: we want a new path, you know, because we've been

765
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:23,840
Speaker 1: trying the same fucking thing for four years. It's not working.

766
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:25,839
Speaker 1: So what do we? So how do we What's one

767
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 1: little fucking thing we can try differently so maybe we

768
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 1: come off a little bit different. And it's not I'm

769
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:36,719
Speaker 1: gonna walk it back. I'm gonna say it's not performative.

770
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:39,600
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say you're actually you're attempting to discover and

771
00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:43,040
Speaker 1: tap in to parts of your existence that you didn't

772
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:46,120
Speaker 1: even think were possible because you felt like they were performative,

773
00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:49,319
Speaker 1: because maybe you start acting in such a way that

774
00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:52,239
Speaker 1: feels performative, and then you know, sometimes you act in

775
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:54,680
Speaker 1: a way that feels performative and it feels very misaligned

776
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 1: with who you are, and then other times you acted

777
00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:59,279
Speaker 1: away that feels performative and you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait,

778
00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:00,960
Speaker 1: this is actually this, this just me I can do this,

779
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 1: and then you realize it's not performative. It's just tapping

780
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:07,840
Speaker 1: into a fucking thing that was within you. So to

781
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:10,040
Speaker 1: this person, I guess I would suggest, yeah, being some

782
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:13,759
Speaker 1: version of what you would think to be performative, because

783
00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:16,759
Speaker 1: maybe you'll tap into something that you didn't think was

784
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 1: of you. So do an audit of yourself a zia,

785
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:24,920
Speaker 1: That's what I would say, and be like, how can

786
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:28,160
Speaker 1: I act differently? And it'll be uncomfortable, it'll be kind

787
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:32,600
Speaker 1: of like really uncomfortable. But don't just don't spiral. Just

788
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:37,279
Speaker 1: whatever you fucking do, please don't spiral. If you're not

789
00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:41,200
Speaker 1: happy with your audit, take it as an opportunity to uh,

790
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:44,680
Speaker 1: you know, perform in some other way. And I'm and

791
00:50:44,719 --> 00:50:46,839
Speaker 1: I'm really sorry about the online harassment and if there's

792
00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:48,600
Speaker 1: any and if if if there's any way you can

793
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:53,960
Speaker 1: just not be on the fucking computer, then then you know,

794
00:50:53,960 --> 00:51:02,720
Speaker 1: I think you should do that. Okay, um, let's keep

795
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:13,399
Speaker 1: going here, all right. This is from Curtis. Subject line,

796
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:18,840
Speaker 1: Hello lizard Fella. This was a very self helpy podcast episode.

797
00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:21,520
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess the I don't. I really, I

798
00:51:21,560 --> 00:51:25,400
Speaker 1: don't like categorizing what I do is self help because

799
00:51:26,719 --> 00:51:30,280
Speaker 1: I'm insane and I have no business self helping anyone.

800
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:34,360
Speaker 1: But I it's like, it's like, I I'd like to

801
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:36,440
Speaker 1: think of it more like I'm leading an AA meeting

802
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:39,480
Speaker 1: or something like that, you know what I mean. Like

803
00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:41,319
Speaker 1: if you like, if you lead an AA meeting, you're

804
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:44,359
Speaker 1: not like the therapist, but you you are. You're in

805
00:51:44,400 --> 00:51:46,359
Speaker 1: a circle of people where you're like, yeah, I get it,

806
00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:50,120
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I feel that way more

807
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 1: than I feel to be a I Yeah, anyway, whatever, Okay,

808
00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 1: Hello Lilah. I like the color of your suit. It's

809
00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:01,120
Speaker 1: very nice. I am. I'm also a reptile who is

810
00:52:01,120 --> 00:52:04,640
Speaker 1: trying to do stuff on the internet, mostly funny gaming moments.

811
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 1: I was wondering what you use to edit your thumbnails, because,

812
00:52:07,120 --> 00:52:09,560
Speaker 1: to be honest, I'm using cap cut for both thumbnails

813
00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 1: and to edit my videos sub to mister Turtle Gaming

814
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:19,040
Speaker 1: four twenty. You can let me know when you can

815
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 1: if you want to call for some reason to talk

816
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:26,399
Speaker 1: about the weather. Have a beautiful day. Okay, my boy

817
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:32,440
Speaker 1: Brandon edits those thumbnails. Shout out Brandon. But edit your

818
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:36,840
Speaker 1: thumbnails with whatever. Just keep making the stuff you know. Okay,

819
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:44,080
Speaker 1: let's keep going here. This is from Adam. Subject line

820
00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:46,480
Speaker 1: high Lyle, and the email just says I love you,

821
00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 1: Thank you, Adam. It's very nice. Okay, I'm looking at

822
00:52:53,080 --> 00:53:03,680
Speaker 1: more emails. Okay. This is from Lauren. Subject line mouse

823
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:09,839
Speaker 1: House a quest for Happiness. Hello, Lyle. My name is

824
00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:12,920
Speaker 1: Lauren and I'm twenty two years old. I just started

825
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:16,719
Speaker 1: my first full time job. I take care of lab animals,

826
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:20,919
Speaker 1: mainly mice, in the basement of a university. I give

827
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:24,160
Speaker 1: the mice food and water. I change their cages out

828
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:26,600
Speaker 1: when they get dirty. I check for health problems and

829
00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:29,800
Speaker 1: report them. The health problems I see are mostly pregnant

830
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:32,520
Speaker 1: mice having issues with birth, and mice that have teeth

831
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:35,480
Speaker 1: growing incorrectly. I like the job, but I feel like

832
00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:38,520
Speaker 1: I'm in this transition period of my life. I feel lonely.

833
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:40,799
Speaker 1: I just found out I have autism, and in May

834
00:53:40,840 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 1: I finally left my abusive parents' house. I have a

835
00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:46,960
Speaker 1: plan for my future, for the goals slash dreams I

836
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:49,560
Speaker 1: want to achieve. The mouse House is a step on

837
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:52,399
Speaker 1: that path, but my dreams feel so far away right now.

838
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:54,560
Speaker 1: I want to go back to school. I want to

839
00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:57,120
Speaker 1: find a community in this new town. Right now, though,

840
00:53:57,120 --> 00:53:58,960
Speaker 1: it's just me and the mice, which isn't the worst

841
00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:02,400
Speaker 1: company to keep. I have always found animals to be

842
00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:11,440
Speaker 1: better company than people. Kind regards Lauren, Everyone's trying, Everyone's trying.

843
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:20,080
Speaker 1: Everyone's trying. Everyone's trying. Everyone is trying their best to

844
00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 1: do stuff. Is everyone trying their best? I think so?

845
00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:30,360
Speaker 1: This is from Andrew subject line. Okay, wait, no it's not.

846
00:54:31,239 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 1: It's from Dean or whatever. It's from Andrew. Who cares.

847
00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:37,800
Speaker 1: It's fine, there's a billion Andrews. This is from Andrew

848
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:42,719
Speaker 1: h subject line. I have had over eleven jobs in

849
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:46,640
Speaker 1: four years. Dear mister Ghak, please to be speaking with

850
00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:49,520
Speaker 1: the Gak masses. You may remember me. We met when

851
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:52,560
Speaker 1: you were in Vegas in twenty twenty four. I was

852
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:54,560
Speaker 1: the guy in the front row. You gave the piece

853
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:57,200
Speaker 1: of paper too for your opening bit. I do remember

854
00:54:57,239 --> 00:55:02,680
Speaker 1: that anyone who has any doubts in life, this email

855
00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:05,880
Speaker 1: should provide some comfort. This is a synopsis of my

856
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:10,080
Speaker 1: career path in life. I had eleven different jobs during college.

857
00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:12,440
Speaker 1: For context, I am a twenty eight year old man

858
00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:16,239
Speaker 1: living in sunny southern California. I started working when I

859
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 1: was eighteen at a Jack in the box. Before, I

860
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:21,800
Speaker 1: worked at an amusement park during holidays, but I don't

861
00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:23,880
Speaker 1: count that because it was only for a few days

862
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:27,000
Speaker 1: a year. Eventually, I worked at a Jack in the

863
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:30,720
Speaker 1: Box and the amusement park simultaneously while going to college.

864
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:33,200
Speaker 1: I quit those two jobs and got an internship in

865
00:55:33,239 --> 00:55:36,160
Speaker 1: accounting that sucked because it was boring and I got

866
00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:40,200
Speaker 1: paid to send me to send memes. Oh, I guess

867
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:43,680
Speaker 1: he was like sending memes off the job. Okay, that

868
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:47,000
Speaker 1: makes sense. I was fired and it felt like a breakup.

869
00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:49,560
Speaker 1: I ended up returning to the same Jack in the

870
00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:52,839
Speaker 1: box because I needed the money. Fast food definitely does

871
00:55:52,880 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 1: not pay well for how fast paced it is. I

872
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:58,520
Speaker 1: would not be opposed to having robots take those jobs,

873
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:02,040
Speaker 1: as it is so stressful for such little pay. Also,

874
00:56:02,120 --> 00:56:05,040
Speaker 1: my boss was a sociopath. He would make fun of

875
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:08,320
Speaker 1: coworkers in front of their faces and spread false rumors.

876
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:11,560
Speaker 1: This technically was a second job because I was promoted

877
00:56:11,560 --> 00:56:14,879
Speaker 1: to shift lead and got paid fifty extra cents per

878
00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:17,960
Speaker 1: hour lmao. I got a lot of free food in

879
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,080
Speaker 1: exchange for the bullshit I dealt with. I have crazy

880
00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:25,240
Speaker 1: custom recipes from working there. Maybe I'll call the show

881
00:56:25,400 --> 00:56:28,200
Speaker 1: or DM you on Instagram with the secret menu items?

882
00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:29,799
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you just put Why don't you put them

883
00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:33,320
Speaker 1: in the email? Sorry? I got too upset over that.

884
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:37,640
Speaker 1: I got way too upset over that. I got inappropriately

885
00:56:37,719 --> 00:56:40,080
Speaker 1: upset over that. Anyhow, I went to work for a

886
00:56:40,239 --> 00:56:42,480
Speaker 1: draws dress for less, and then went back to the

887
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:45,640
Speaker 1: amusement park. I got promoted at the clothing chain, but

888
00:56:45,640 --> 00:56:47,920
Speaker 1: that didn't last too long because I didn't like managing

889
00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:52,160
Speaker 1: people there. They were jerks and abused my kindness. I

890
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:55,360
Speaker 1: worked a lot of overtime there, sometimes ten to thirteen

891
00:56:55,400 --> 00:56:58,480
Speaker 1: hour days and nights. I quit both those jobs and

892
00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:02,280
Speaker 1: got another internship, this time for supply chain. That job

893
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:05,600
Speaker 1: was also boring, and I unfortunately didn't get to learn anything.

894
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:08,920
Speaker 1: I wasn't at the mindset to make an experience worthwhile

895
00:57:09,040 --> 00:57:11,399
Speaker 1: like that one had I taken the time to talk

896
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:14,200
Speaker 1: with employees and learn the possibilities in day to day

897
00:57:14,200 --> 00:57:16,960
Speaker 1: life and supply chain. I would have found a fulfilling

898
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:20,000
Speaker 1: career anyways. During that internship, I got paid to sit

899
00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:24,480
Speaker 1: and watch YouTube four days a week, ten hours a day.

900
00:57:24,880 --> 00:57:27,840
Speaker 1: I got Fridays off the whole summer. Then I tried

901
00:57:27,840 --> 00:57:30,640
Speaker 1: to work at Party City, but the training videos were

902
00:57:30,640 --> 00:57:33,720
Speaker 1: so mind numbing I quit within the first three hours.

903
00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:36,000
Speaker 1: You got to give me more detail of what these

904
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:38,120
Speaker 1: training videos are. You need to send a follow up

905
00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:42,640
Speaker 1: email with details about the secret menu items and what

906
00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:44,960
Speaker 1: the Party City training videos were, because I got to

907
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:48,280
Speaker 1: know what are they talking about, like how to properly

908
00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:53,040
Speaker 1: steam the Halloween costume? I don't know what it is.

909
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:55,440
Speaker 1: The pay was also asked as they paid with a

910
00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:59,400
Speaker 1: cash card rather than by check or direct deposit. It

911
00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:02,080
Speaker 1: wasn't a debt card because you could deposit at the bank,

912
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:04,040
Speaker 1: but there was a fee if you wanted to deposit

913
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:06,560
Speaker 1: the money in your account. It was really dumb, okay.

914
00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:10,840
Speaker 1: I then worked at Planet Fitness. It was also very boring.

915
00:58:11,480 --> 00:58:14,160
Speaker 1: The employees abused me because I was a new kid.

916
00:58:14,480 --> 00:58:16,560
Speaker 1: They made me help all the customers while they were

917
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:19,720
Speaker 1: on their phones. In addition, Planet Fitness does not allow

918
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:22,400
Speaker 1: people to take time off. You're hired to work very

919
00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:25,120
Speaker 1: specific shifts and the only way to get time off

920
00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:28,360
Speaker 1: is to befriend coworkers and trade shifts. I got hired

921
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:30,680
Speaker 1: a week before my birthday and the manager said she

922
00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:33,400
Speaker 1: would cover it. I decided to quit within a week.

923
00:58:33,640 --> 00:58:35,600
Speaker 1: The only cool part about that job was the free

924
00:58:35,640 --> 00:58:38,800
Speaker 1: gym membership. However, you weren't allowed to work out during

925
00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:42,920
Speaker 1: your shift. Well that kind of makes sense, I guess,

926
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:44,880
Speaker 1: and honestly, I didn't want to work out at my

927
00:58:44,920 --> 00:58:47,680
Speaker 1: place of employment. The next job I worked at was

928
00:58:47,720 --> 00:58:50,960
Speaker 1: at Marshall's and that was my last job before graduating college.

929
00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:53,360
Speaker 1: That was probably the most normal gig I've had, and

930
00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:56,520
Speaker 1: I would highly recommend it to anyone working there. Nothing

931
00:58:56,560 --> 00:58:58,160
Speaker 1: crazy happened to me, but there was a lot of

932
00:58:58,280 --> 00:59:00,800
Speaker 1: drama enough to where I could write a book honestly.

933
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:03,760
Speaker 1: I then graduated in May of twenty twenty with a

934
00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:06,480
Speaker 1: finance degree. My first job out of college was a

935
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:10,160
Speaker 1: junior project manager. However, there were no clients available for

936
00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:13,040
Speaker 1: me to take on, so I reluctantly took a support

937
00:59:13,240 --> 00:59:16,440
Speaker 1: engineer role for a custom app we made. It was

938
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:19,560
Speaker 1: the worst job I have ever had. For one year,

939
00:59:19,600 --> 00:59:21,640
Speaker 1: I had to be available for eight to ten hours,

940
00:59:21,680 --> 00:59:24,560
Speaker 1: all the time sitting at my desk waiting for support tickets.

941
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:28,320
Speaker 1: As you can probably tell, the theme with me is

942
00:59:28,320 --> 00:59:30,640
Speaker 1: that I get bored too easily, and the boarden came

943
00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:33,280
Speaker 1: from feeling like my life was meaningless and that I

944
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:37,600
Speaker 1: was never going to accomplish anything. After the year was up,

945
00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:40,040
Speaker 1: I spent a lot of my time training and left

946
00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:42,480
Speaker 1: the project management side of the business to work in

947
00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:46,720
Speaker 1: the enterprise resource planning sector. That's where I'm at today.

948
00:59:47,120 --> 00:59:49,560
Speaker 1: It has been so fulfilling. There we go. I was

949
00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:52,040
Speaker 1: wondering when this was gonna get positive, because you did

950
00:59:52,040 --> 00:59:54,920
Speaker 1: mention that at the beginning. It has been so fulfilling

951
00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:57,080
Speaker 1: and I do enjoy the work I do. It's challenging,

952
00:59:57,240 --> 00:59:59,840
Speaker 1: yet not impossible for me. I am always learning new

953
00:59:59,840 --> 01:00:02,520
Speaker 1: thing and there was never a dull moment. Sometimes I

954
01:00:02,560 --> 01:00:05,919
Speaker 1: work crazy hours, fourteen hour days, and sometimes I don't

955
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:08,240
Speaker 1: work at all. I'm kind of my own boss, but

956
01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:10,760
Speaker 1: still on a leash. One day I may become a

957
01:00:10,800 --> 01:00:14,240
Speaker 1: manager or a lead. I also wash cars on the side,

958
01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:17,360
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to earn my c FP. My end

959
01:00:17,400 --> 01:00:20,040
Speaker 1: goals in life are to have children with my beautiful wife,

960
01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:23,600
Speaker 1: own a home where I live, start a business, and

961
01:00:23,680 --> 01:00:27,240
Speaker 1: take care of my future employees by paying them thriving wages.

962
01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:31,160
Speaker 1: Get blessed. Life was crazy, but it is what you

963
01:00:31,200 --> 01:00:35,280
Speaker 1: make of it. Sincerely, Dean. Okay, Well that was that

964
01:00:35,400 --> 01:00:43,200
Speaker 1: was That was Dean slash Andrew's life. I wish I

965
01:00:43,200 --> 01:00:49,240
Speaker 1: had something to say about any of that. Uh yeah,

966
01:00:49,360 --> 01:00:51,560
Speaker 1: that was. I'm glad he's he seems like he's happy now,

967
01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:55,200
Speaker 1: which is good. It seems like he's happy now, which

968
01:00:55,240 --> 01:00:58,920
Speaker 1: is good. I hope, I hope that was. He should

969
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:02,800
Speaker 1: have he should have put the secret new items in there. Okay,

970
01:01:03,840 --> 01:01:07,560
Speaker 1: this is from Walker subject line I lost my job,

971
01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:11,040
Speaker 1: but it's definitely a good thing. Hey, GEK, hope you're

972
01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:13,640
Speaker 1: doing well. I recently lost my job because I chose

973
01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:16,960
Speaker 1: to speak up about unfair working conditions. Ultimately, I know

974
01:01:17,040 --> 01:01:19,120
Speaker 1: this is a good thing because my boss would constantly

975
01:01:19,160 --> 01:01:23,840
Speaker 1: trigger me, underpay workers and did not plan for extreme weather. Parentheses,

976
01:01:23,840 --> 01:01:26,000
Speaker 1: we work on a farm. I would wake up every

977
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:28,840
Speaker 1: day anxious to go in because her mood dictated how

978
01:01:28,840 --> 01:01:31,080
Speaker 1: she was going to treat us that day. I have

979
01:01:31,120 --> 01:01:33,360
Speaker 1: a job lined up for the winter every year, but

980
01:01:33,400 --> 01:01:36,919
Speaker 1: that won't start until December. I enjoy seasonal work because

981
01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:39,600
Speaker 1: it allows me to have flexibility and do different jobs

982
01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:42,160
Speaker 1: because I hate the monotony of a nine to five job.

983
01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:44,560
Speaker 1: I feel kind of lost right now because I wasn't

984
01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:46,760
Speaker 1: fired because I did a bad job. I was fired

985
01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:49,000
Speaker 1: because I chose to stand up for myself and my crew.

986
01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:52,560
Speaker 1: One day, I hope to own my own land and

987
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:54,760
Speaker 1: create a space to share what I've learned and learned

988
01:01:54,800 --> 01:01:57,640
Speaker 1: from others who want to live sustainably. I know it's

989
01:01:57,640 --> 01:01:59,520
Speaker 1: going to be okay, and I do have some jobs

990
01:01:59,520 --> 01:02:01,200
Speaker 1: that I do on the side that will hopefully get

991
01:02:01,200 --> 01:02:03,400
Speaker 1: me through till winter starts. But I guess I just

992
01:02:03,400 --> 01:02:04,760
Speaker 1: wanted to share this because I know a lot of

993
01:02:04,800 --> 01:02:07,120
Speaker 1: people feel stuck in their jobs or feel taken advantage

994
01:02:07,120 --> 01:02:09,080
Speaker 1: of and are afraid to speak up. But I think

995
01:02:09,080 --> 01:02:11,280
Speaker 1: it's really important to always advocate for yourself and the

996
01:02:11,280 --> 01:02:13,360
Speaker 1: people you care about. I think this happened to me

997
01:02:13,400 --> 01:02:14,920
Speaker 1: for a reason that will allow me to grow as

998
01:02:14,960 --> 01:02:17,480
Speaker 1: an individual and within my career. If you have any

999
01:02:17,480 --> 01:02:19,320
Speaker 1: words of wisdom, or just read this email so that

1000
01:02:19,360 --> 01:02:21,400
Speaker 1: other people could feel us alone about this situation. That

1001
01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:22,000
Speaker 1: would be cool.

1002
01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:32,480
Speaker 3: Do I have any words of wisdom? Do I have

1003
01:02:32,480 --> 01:02:40,960
Speaker 3: any words of wisdom?

1004
01:02:41,240 --> 01:02:44,680
Speaker 1: I'm glad that you are.

1005
01:02:46,840 --> 01:02:47,040
Speaker 3: You know.

1006
01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:48,760
Speaker 1: No, I don't have any words of wisdom. I'm sorry.

1007
01:02:48,800 --> 01:02:50,480
Speaker 1: If I did, I would tell you. If I did,

1008
01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:52,840
Speaker 1: I would tell you. But I'm glad you sent the email.

1009
01:02:56,560 --> 01:02:58,640
Speaker 1: I'm okay with not always having words of wisdom. I

1010
01:02:58,640 --> 01:03:00,720
Speaker 1: think if I always had words of wisdom, that would

1011
01:03:00,760 --> 01:03:05,720
Speaker 1: be a bad thing. That would be like if I

1012
01:03:05,800 --> 01:03:11,800
Speaker 1: was wise about everything. You know what I mean. But

1013
01:03:11,840 --> 01:03:13,880
Speaker 1: maybe someone in the comments will have words of wisdom

1014
01:03:14,200 --> 01:03:19,560
Speaker 1: that could be good. Uh. Okay, I should read a

1015
01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:22,440
Speaker 1: few more emails. I think I'll read it. I'll read

1016
01:03:22,560 --> 01:03:32,400
Speaker 1: I'll read a couple more. Okay, this is from Stephen

1017
01:03:33,520 --> 01:03:37,560
Speaker 1: subject line question. When I see your clips, I think

1018
01:03:37,600 --> 01:03:39,600
Speaker 1: of an ex coworker who used to sleep with me.

1019
01:03:40,040 --> 01:03:42,680
Speaker 1: I think about her pretty regularly, and she refuses to

1020
01:03:42,720 --> 01:03:45,200
Speaker 1: talk with me. I'd love to use you as a

1021
01:03:45,200 --> 01:03:53,760
Speaker 1: platform to reach back out to her. What No, No,

1022
01:03:53,840 --> 01:04:02,720
Speaker 1: that isn't No. That doesn't make any sense. I don't no,

1023
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:07,960
Speaker 1: don't do that. Just just move on, move on, man,

1024
01:04:08,080 --> 01:04:13,240
Speaker 1: move on, man, go go go. I stop doing that. Okay,

1025
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:22,240
Speaker 1: let me see here. This is from Ed. Ed says, Hey, Gek,

1026
01:04:22,240 --> 01:04:24,480
Speaker 1: I'm one of your first few fans from Reddit days.

1027
01:04:24,560 --> 01:04:27,000
Speaker 1: I don't really like to comment on relationship stuff, but

1028
01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:30,320
Speaker 1: it would be nice to have an outside opinion. I

1029
01:04:30,320 --> 01:04:33,200
Speaker 1: guess I can comment on what Okay. I am a

1030
01:04:33,200 --> 01:04:35,240
Speaker 1: twenty four year old guy, and I am chit chatting

1031
01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:38,000
Speaker 1: with a woman almost ten years older than me. Started

1032
01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:40,480
Speaker 1: off a bit rocky because she was in a relationship.

1033
01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:44,640
Speaker 1: We kissed, I separated myself. Then the day after I did,

1034
01:04:44,760 --> 01:04:48,000
Speaker 1: she ended her relationship. I told her I needed some

1035
01:04:48,120 --> 01:04:50,760
Speaker 1: space to think things over, and she has been nothing

1036
01:04:50,800 --> 01:04:54,720
Speaker 1: but respectful and understanding about my perspective. I feel really

1037
01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:57,680
Speaker 1: strongly about this woman, and I've continued to talk to her,

1038
01:04:58,080 --> 01:05:00,080
Speaker 1: and since there have been no red flags to me,

1039
01:05:00,440 --> 01:05:03,720
Speaker 1: it's felt very mature, natural, and easy to be with her.

1040
01:05:04,120 --> 01:05:06,640
Speaker 1: A'm I dumb for continuing this. I guess the age

1041
01:05:06,680 --> 01:05:08,280
Speaker 1: thing is a part of it, But do you have

1042
01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:11,320
Speaker 1: thoughts on it? Ten years is too weird? Please be

1043
01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:26,480
Speaker 1: my guest? Uh, Well, weirdness is not the issue here,

1044
01:05:27,760 --> 01:05:32,000
Speaker 1: I would say. I would say, and I've been I've

1045
01:05:32,120 --> 01:05:38,920
Speaker 1: been mainly in relationships with women who are older than me,

1046
01:05:42,080 --> 01:05:45,920
Speaker 1: and I mean it's a Here's the thing is, what

1047
01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:48,600
Speaker 1: do you want out of your life? Right? Because the

1048
01:05:48,600 --> 01:05:51,000
Speaker 1: main problem with being in a relationship with a woman

1049
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:54,080
Speaker 1: who's much older than you is like if she is

1050
01:05:54,280 --> 01:05:58,200
Speaker 1: like I if her, if she wants to like get

1051
01:05:58,240 --> 01:06:03,520
Speaker 1: married and have kids and like the whole thing, she's

1052
01:06:03,560 --> 01:06:08,560
Speaker 1: gonna want to do it sooner rather than later. And

1053
01:06:08,680 --> 01:06:13,720
Speaker 1: for you, if you're I mean, you're twenty four, is like,

1054
01:06:13,800 --> 01:06:15,840
Speaker 1: do you I mean, I don't know if this lady

1055
01:06:15,880 --> 01:06:17,160
Speaker 1: wants I don't know if this lady wants to get

1056
01:06:17,160 --> 01:06:18,680
Speaker 1: married enough kids and do the whole thing. I don't know.

1057
01:06:18,720 --> 01:06:20,360
Speaker 1: She might not. She might be like I never want

1058
01:06:20,560 --> 01:06:22,840
Speaker 1: If this lady is like I never want to do that,

1059
01:06:23,720 --> 01:06:25,440
Speaker 1: and you're like, great, I never want to do that,

1060
01:06:25,880 --> 01:06:30,280
Speaker 1: then it kind of doesn't fucking matter, you know. But

1061
01:06:30,400 --> 01:06:34,040
Speaker 1: if she wants to get more serious about life and

1062
01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:38,000
Speaker 1: more serious about the relationship because she's older and in

1063
01:06:38,040 --> 01:06:40,360
Speaker 1: a different part of her life, that's the only real

1064
01:06:40,520 --> 01:06:47,520
Speaker 1: that's the main reason why that age gap would be difficult,

1065
01:06:48,800 --> 01:06:51,480
Speaker 1: you know. But if she's just like, you know whatever,

1066
01:06:51,680 --> 01:06:54,960
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just here to hang out, then you know,

1067
01:06:55,880 --> 01:07:02,040
Speaker 1: you can keep hanging out. I think you're twenty four.

1068
01:07:02,120 --> 01:07:05,760
Speaker 1: Are you dumb for continuing this? You? Maybe you're probably

1069
01:07:05,840 --> 01:07:07,440
Speaker 1: dumb for doing a lot of things that you do.

1070
01:07:07,960 --> 01:07:10,360
Speaker 1: Not because you're a bad person or because you're dumb,

1071
01:07:10,400 --> 01:07:17,280
Speaker 1: but because, uh, because you just because we're all just

1072
01:07:17,320 --> 01:07:23,520
Speaker 1: a little uh dumb, you know what I mean? Does

1073
01:07:23,520 --> 01:07:26,000
Speaker 1: that make sense? How long have I been recording? For

1074
01:07:26,040 --> 01:07:31,720
Speaker 1: an hour and eight minutes? Let's reet, I think let's

1075
01:07:32,840 --> 01:07:34,960
Speaker 1: thank you guys for thank you guys for listening to

1076
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:38,880
Speaker 1: this show. I'm gonna ramble a little bit. How do

1077
01:07:38,880 --> 01:07:42,360
Speaker 1: I feel? I feel tired. I don't feel good right now.

1078
01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:48,000
Speaker 1: I want I could ramble more. All I have to

1079
01:07:48,040 --> 01:07:50,080
Speaker 1: say is depressing shit though I want to be I

1080
01:07:50,160 --> 01:07:52,080
Speaker 1: wanted to say something. Let me let me think of

1081
01:07:52,160 --> 01:07:55,760
Speaker 1: something funny to say. Let's do I'm gonna think I'm

1082
01:07:55,760 --> 01:07:58,520
Speaker 1: gonna say some funny stuff. Let me read into my notes.

1083
01:08:00,120 --> 01:08:03,800
Speaker 1: I have notes about things. Okay, did you guys know

1084
01:08:03,920 --> 01:08:08,360
Speaker 1: that all I wrote this down a week ago? Do

1085
01:08:08,440 --> 01:08:11,320
Speaker 1: you guys know that all the holes on SpongeBob are

1086
01:08:11,360 --> 01:08:18,360
Speaker 1: actually Vagina's. It's secretly a very explicit show. Okay, let's

1087
01:08:18,439 --> 01:08:23,800
Speaker 1: keep going. I hate when the lady when I'm on

1088
01:08:23,840 --> 01:08:27,519
Speaker 1: a flight, and the lady at the gate says, have

1089
01:08:27,560 --> 01:08:32,120
Speaker 1: a safe flight, because that's your guys's job, because you

1090
01:08:32,160 --> 01:08:40,960
Speaker 1: fly the plane. All right. I'm addicted to diet soda.

1091
01:08:42,280 --> 01:08:44,640
Speaker 1: They say diet soda is just as bad for you

1092
01:08:44,840 --> 01:08:47,920
Speaker 1: as regular soda, but it's even worse when you drink

1093
01:08:47,960 --> 01:08:50,679
Speaker 1: it the way that I do, which is to chase

1094
01:08:50,760 --> 01:09:03,680
Speaker 1: it with regular soda. All right, let's keep going. Hold on,

1095
01:09:07,160 --> 01:09:12,520
Speaker 1: I have such strong decision paralysis that I sometimes fantasize

1096
01:09:12,560 --> 01:09:16,120
Speaker 1: about being taken hostage by terrorists just so that I

1097
01:09:16,120 --> 01:09:18,320
Speaker 1: don't have to decide what to do with my life.

1098
01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:23,559
Speaker 1: All right, Let's read one more email and then and

1099
01:09:23,560 --> 01:09:25,479
Speaker 1: then I'll let you guys get back to whatever you

1100
01:09:25,520 --> 01:09:34,479
Speaker 1: were doing. Uh, Okay, this is from someone. As soon

1101
01:09:34,520 --> 01:09:36,840
Speaker 1: as I pick here's why I do this, I say

1102
01:09:36,920 --> 01:09:44,440
Speaker 1: this is from and while I'm still figuring out, uh,

1103
01:09:44,479 --> 01:09:54,640
Speaker 1: which email I'm gonna pick? Okay, hold on, hold on,

1104
01:09:54,760 --> 01:09:58,320
Speaker 1: everyone calmed down. Everyone relacks. We're gonna find an email

1105
01:10:00,400 --> 01:10:01,840
Speaker 1: or I could read more of my notes. Let's just

1106
01:10:01,880 --> 01:10:05,240
Speaker 1: do that. Let's read more of my notes. Okay, did

1107
01:10:05,240 --> 01:10:10,640
Speaker 1: you you guys know the album? Okay? Computer by Radiohead.

1108
01:10:12,320 --> 01:10:15,559
Speaker 1: Did you guys know that that album is based off

1109
01:10:15,600 --> 01:10:19,320
Speaker 1: of something that I said to the computer once when

1110
01:10:19,400 --> 01:10:26,120
Speaker 1: it asked me if I wanted to see porn. My

1111
01:10:26,160 --> 01:10:28,080
Speaker 1: computer was like, would you like to see porn? And

1112
01:10:28,120 --> 01:10:34,360
Speaker 1: I said, okay, computer, okay, how about this? Sorry Albert Einstein,

1113
01:10:34,600 --> 01:10:42,479
Speaker 1: but I don't have sex on the first date? Okay

1114
01:10:42,520 --> 01:10:46,120
Speaker 1: about this. I don't think they could make Schindler's List today.

1115
01:10:47,200 --> 01:10:49,599
Speaker 1: I don't think they could make that movie Schindler's List

1116
01:10:49,640 --> 01:10:55,200
Speaker 1: today because he'd probably be using his notes app, not

1117
01:10:55,280 --> 01:11:05,040
Speaker 1: a list that I have to call it Schindler's notes app. Okay?

1118
01:11:05,320 --> 01:11:10,360
Speaker 1: Why do they dangle injured people from helicopters? You know

1119
01:11:10,360 --> 01:11:12,400
Speaker 1: how they like tie a person up. They get on

1120
01:11:12,400 --> 01:11:15,880
Speaker 1: the bed and they tie them up and they dangle

1121
01:11:15,920 --> 01:11:18,800
Speaker 1: them from the bottom. Why do they dangle injured people

1122
01:11:18,800 --> 01:11:21,879
Speaker 1: from helicopters? Why isn't there Why isn't there enough room

1123
01:11:21,920 --> 01:11:30,799
Speaker 1: in the helicopter? Okay, if I can find one more email,

1124
01:11:31,560 --> 01:11:46,360
Speaker 1: I will let's see. Okay, you know what, No, I'm

1125
01:11:46,360 --> 01:11:49,519
Speaker 1: gonna read more of these. Let's see if I can

1126
01:11:49,560 --> 01:11:51,960
Speaker 1: find this. All right, hold on, you guys are gonna

1127
01:11:52,000 --> 01:11:58,360
Speaker 1: like these? Okay, wait, all right, I'll do one more.

1128
01:12:01,920 --> 01:12:02,000
Speaker 3: Uh.

1129
01:12:02,160 --> 01:12:04,880
Speaker 1: The other day I stepped in dog shit and then

1130
01:12:05,320 --> 01:12:09,840
Speaker 1: washed my shoe off in a puddle of dog piss. No,

1131
01:12:10,000 --> 01:12:14,360
Speaker 1: we should read one more email, right, we should read

1132
01:12:14,360 --> 01:12:23,720
Speaker 1: one more email. TSA drops shoe removal rule for all travelers. Wait, No,

1133
01:12:23,800 --> 01:12:28,519
Speaker 1: that's spam. Thank you guys for listening to this. Okay,

1134
01:12:28,520 --> 01:12:30,479
Speaker 1: we're gonna we're gonna do one more email. We're gonna

1135
01:12:30,520 --> 01:12:40,240
Speaker 1: do one more real email if I can find one. Uh, Okay, okay.

1136
01:12:40,240 --> 01:12:45,479
Speaker 1: This is from Ethan High Gek. When I was a kid,

1137
01:12:45,600 --> 01:12:48,320
Speaker 1: me and my friend used to simulate what sex was

1138
01:12:48,479 --> 01:12:53,200
Speaker 1: like by peeing in each other's butts. We're still good

1139
01:12:53,240 --> 01:12:55,200
Speaker 1: friends to this day and have not brought it up

1140
01:12:55,240 --> 01:12:57,640
Speaker 1: to each other since. Should I bring it up to

1141
01:12:57,720 --> 01:13:00,880
Speaker 1: him and see what he says for context? We're both

1142
01:13:00,880 --> 01:13:06,040
Speaker 1: in our early twenties now. No, I don't think you

1143
01:13:06,040 --> 01:13:12,720
Speaker 1: should should ever tell anyone about that. I think this

1144
01:13:12,880 --> 01:13:17,200
Speaker 1: was gek mail. Was this gak mal? I only have

1145
01:13:17,280 --> 01:13:19,320
Speaker 1: myself as the bora. I think this was gak mal.

1146
01:13:20,280 --> 01:13:24,200
Speaker 1: I'm happy. I'm happy with it. I'm happy. I'm happy

1147
01:13:24,200 --> 01:13:25,920
Speaker 1: with it. I'm proud of it. I think it was

1148
01:13:26,080 --> 01:13:28,519
Speaker 1: I think we did it. I think this was a

1149
01:13:28,520 --> 01:13:35,479
Speaker 1: good gak male. I think I'm I'm sixty five percent

1150
01:13:35,560 --> 01:13:38,559
Speaker 1: sure this was a good gak male. It won't be

1151
01:13:38,600 --> 01:13:43,200
Speaker 1: the last gak mal, hopefully, who knows what happens in life,

1152
01:13:44,840 --> 01:13:46,600
Speaker 1: it won't be the last. I think it was a

1153
01:13:46,600 --> 01:13:48,960
Speaker 1: good one. It was at least a one, and I

1154
01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:54,599
Speaker 1: think I appreciate you guys listening to it. I'm gonna

1155
01:13:54,600 --> 01:13:57,920
Speaker 1: go get on a plane and go to Iraq and

1156
01:13:58,600 --> 01:14:01,560
Speaker 1: talk to people about life and wear a get go

1157
01:14:01,680 --> 01:14:08,479
Speaker 1: suit and uh eat some stuff, I hope and uh yeah,

1158
01:14:08,520 --> 01:14:09,960
Speaker 1: by the time you guys are listening to this, That's

1159
01:14:09,960 --> 01:14:15,000
Speaker 1: where I'll be. Anyway, Thank you guys for listening to

1160
01:14:15,040 --> 01:14:17,840
Speaker 1: this show. I want to who do I want to think?

1161
01:14:17,960 --> 01:14:22,960
Speaker 1: I want to thank uh. I want to thank the

1162
01:14:23,120 --> 01:14:32,880
Speaker 1: creator of PEZ because I like Pez. That's it. That's it.

1163
01:14:33,040 --> 01:14:35,080
Speaker 1: This won't be the this listen, this won't be the

1164
01:14:35,160 --> 01:14:38,840
Speaker 1: last podcast. We'll do more. We'll do more podcasts. I'm

1165
01:14:38,840 --> 01:14:44,320
Speaker 1: happy with this. I think this worked out. Thank you

1166
01:14:44,320 --> 01:14:46,439
Speaker 1: guys for listening. Okay, I think I can't end it

1167
01:14:46,479 --> 01:14:53,599
Speaker 1: like this. I can't. I gotta key, I gotta all right.

1168
01:14:53,800 --> 01:14:55,519
Speaker 1: I know we got it. We got you know, what

1169
01:14:55,640 --> 01:14:57,719
Speaker 1: some you know what. Honestly, look, i'm gonna I'm gonna

1170
01:14:57,760 --> 01:15:04,000
Speaker 1: let this be a living example. Sometimes you gotta accept

1171
01:15:06,080 --> 01:15:12,160
Speaker 1: uh that that that that it didn't work. But I

1172
01:15:12,200 --> 01:15:14,320
Speaker 1: don't think this didn't work. I think this worked really well.

1173
01:15:14,400 --> 01:15:17,080
Speaker 1: I think this was a good episode. Thank you all

1174
01:15:17,120 --> 01:15:21,600
Speaker 1: for listening. See you guys again on Sunday when I

1175
01:15:21,680 --> 01:15:24,479
Speaker 1: post another one of the well, not another one of these.

1176
01:15:24,520 --> 01:15:28,880
Speaker 1: It's gonna be phone calls. Okay, all right, thank you,

1177
01:15:29,320 --> 01:15:31,280
Speaker 1: thank you. I'm I'm glad we got to spend this

1178
01:15:31,360 --> 01:15:37,000
Speaker 1: hour together. Okay, thank you guys. Bye bye. Everything goes

1179
01:15:37,080 --> 01:15:40,759
Speaker 1: on the line, taking your phone calls every night. Everything

1180
01:15:41,160 --> 01:15:44,400
Speaker 1: goes to teaching you loud of your line.

1181
01:15:44,840 --> 01:15:47,000
Speaker 2: But he's not really an expert.