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Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hi. What's your name?

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Speaker 2: No fucking way, Sully.

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Speaker 1: Sully, like the monster.

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Speaker 2: Guy, Yeah from Monsters, Inc.

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Speaker 1: What's up, Sully? How can I get you today? What's

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Speaker 1: happening on the planet Earth? From your perspective?

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Speaker 2: I guess what I wanted to talk to you about

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Speaker 2: is numbers.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I have this, like I.

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Speaker 2: Have this like weird thing with numbers. It might hurt

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Speaker 2: your brain. Holy shit, I can't believe I'm talking to you.

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Speaker 1: This ship is crazy numbers with some numbers.

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Speaker 2: Any way. So it's like I'm like self city because

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Speaker 2: I skateboard a lot, and I like can only try

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Speaker 2: like certain stuff a certain amount of times, and like

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Speaker 2: like I don't know how I'll explain it with that

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Speaker 2: like being.

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Speaker 1: Weird you So just just to cut I'm gonna cut

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Speaker 1: you off for just a second because your your thing

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Speaker 1: kind of cut out a little bit. But you said

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Speaker 1: you were self diagoned, that you've self di diagnosed with OCD.

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Speaker 2: Well like kind of my parents and shit have kind

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Speaker 2: of told me because like I don't know. It's like, okay,

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Speaker 2: if I'm skateboarding and I do it a trick and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh shit, I'm really close. But I'm like

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Speaker 2: a numb I meant like try like ten or something

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Speaker 2: like that, depending on what day of the week. I

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Speaker 2: won't try it the eleventh try seriously if that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so these okay, tell me more about these numbers.

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Speaker 1: Does this occur in your life in any in any

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Speaker 1: form other than in skateboarding?

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Speaker 2: I yeah, so, like real quick backstory. How it like

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Speaker 2: started was like you ever, like you're listening to music

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Speaker 2: and then you like accidentally skip a song that you

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Speaker 2: wanted to play, so you skip back to it.

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Speaker 1: M yes, yes, yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I would do that, but I would go like

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Speaker 2: back and forth, back and forth, back and forth until

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Speaker 2: like it felt right to listen to that song.

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Speaker 1: How many times would you go back and forth?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, it would just whatever felt right.

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Speaker 1: I guess this does actually sound like OCD.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. And then it like went into like numbers and

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Speaker 2: then like like I've I've always put on like Okay,

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Speaker 2: this is weird, but like a certain like swipes the

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Speaker 2: deodorant or like how many like swishes I do with

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Speaker 2: like brushing my teeth and shit like that, if that

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Speaker 2: makes sense, And like if I'm like so, say, at work, right,

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Speaker 2: I pull into the parking lot depending on what day

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Speaker 2: of the week it is, I can only park in

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Speaker 2: that spot a certain amount of times during the week.

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Speaker 1: Hmm.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, all of this hurts my brain.

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Speaker 1: How long have you been like this?

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Speaker 3: Uh?

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Speaker 2: Ever since I was probably like I think, like a

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Speaker 2: junior in high school and I'm twenty now, so probably

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Speaker 2: like four years.

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Speaker 1: All right, what have you gone to see like a

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Speaker 1: psychiatrist about this?

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Speaker 2: No, which I probably should, But like sometimes it's like

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Speaker 2: money and like sometimes like my parents are crazy, not

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Speaker 2: my parents, more my mom. I love my mom, but

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Speaker 2: she's kind of crazy sometimes and like she had a

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Speaker 2: bad ex experience with shit like that when she was

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Speaker 2: a kid, so she kind of is like, don't go

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Speaker 2: and then like money, So I just talked to family

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Speaker 2: about it, and then it kind of makes me feel better.

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Speaker 1: Okay, what is what happens when you talk to your

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Speaker 1: family about it?

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Speaker 2: Uh? My grandpa just reassures me that, like it's just

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Speaker 2: it's not like regular shit. But I might have like

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Speaker 2: an OCD or something like that. And then like I

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Speaker 2: don't know, definitely, the older I'm getting like kind of

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Speaker 2: the better it's gotten, do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: Like now it's not so much now it's not so

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Speaker 2: much like an everyday thing. Like it's still an everyday thing,

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Speaker 2: but not as much because like sometimes I'll have these

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Speaker 2: like crazy fucking like not episodes, but like some days

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Speaker 2: I'll just be fun and like I have to touch

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Speaker 2: shit a certain amount of times and like shit like that.

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Speaker 2: But like today, like I'm chilling, like I'm fine, life

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Speaker 2: is great. So it's weird.

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Speaker 1: H I really I oh man, well I'm conflicted exact.

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Speaker 1: I mean, well, I really just think you should probably

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Speaker 1: see a psychiatrist.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I need to think about that, Okay.

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Speaker 1: Can I well, just can I ask you about your

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Speaker 1: your life in general? Are you in school? What do

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Speaker 1: you do?

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Speaker 2: Uh? I work at a car autoparts store and the

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Speaker 2: skate shop and I teach kids how to skate.

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Speaker 1: Well that sounds really nice.

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Speaker 2: Uh it's really rewarding.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, okay, so you got like a cool you're

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Speaker 1: doing good things.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to because there's a lot of people who

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Speaker 2: like hate in the skate community. But like I don't know,

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Speaker 2: how could you hate on somebody who's helping.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people who hate in the skate community

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Speaker 1: within what sense?

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Speaker 2: Like, like say you do like a certain trick or something,

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Speaker 2: oh that was whack as fuck, and then like I

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Speaker 2: don't know, they just like someone always has something hateful

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Speaker 2: to say.

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Speaker 1: Like you'll do certain tricks and people will say that

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Speaker 1: your tricks are whack as fuck.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So like quick explanations. So like I skate curbs,

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Speaker 2: so like a curb that you would see like on

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Speaker 2: the side of the road, you know, but like in

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Speaker 2: the skate community that's like deemed like something for like

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Speaker 2: old people. Why because like okay, you know what an

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Speaker 2: olie is, like how you like get the board. Yeah. So,

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Speaker 2: like I had surgery on my ankle like a year ago,

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Speaker 2: and it kind of like sorry, I'm sot of breath.

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Speaker 2: It made me like not be able to allie as

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Speaker 2: well anymore. And like I kind of hated skateboarding because

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, like it kind of ruined my

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Speaker 2: life for a little bit. And then like I started

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Speaker 2: like skating curves as like Okay, I don't have to

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Speaker 2: work as hard, not necessarily, because like once you get

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Speaker 2: into it, you're like, oh shit, like this shit is hard,

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Speaker 2: But like you don't have to like necessarily like Alie

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Speaker 2: into shit because it's called like a slappy, like you

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Speaker 2: slap your board into it and like it's just like

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Speaker 2: old people, so like old fat guys who like I

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Speaker 2: can't alie anymore.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I have a lot of thoughts about your haters, man,

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Speaker 1: why don't you? I mean, well, first, first of all,

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Speaker 1: you said, what's your name again?

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Speaker 2: Sully?

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Speaker 1: You Sally? You sound like a good guy. You have

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Speaker 1: a you have respectable you have two respectable jobs, you

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Speaker 1: have a hobby that you like, you have family that

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Speaker 1: you care about. I mean, who the fuck that's it.

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Speaker 1: There's nothing else.

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Speaker 2: A lot of it is, like I think a lot

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Speaker 2: of it is like like other people like looking in

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Speaker 2: the mirror because like I've been like traveling and stuff

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Speaker 2: for skating, uh huh, like not necessarily like for like

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Speaker 2: skate competicians and shit, but just like I want to

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Speaker 2: work in the industry, Like that's what I want to do.

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Speaker 2: And skateboarding is like really like die hard. Like if

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Speaker 2: you are like in the industry, you're like you're in there,

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Speaker 2: if that makes sense. So it's like really hard to

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Speaker 2: like get in anyway. Uh, That's what I'm trying to do.

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Speaker 2: And I think a lot of people because I live

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Speaker 2: in Iowa, I don't know if anyone I will listen

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Speaker 2: to this, but fuck it. But like, I live in

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Speaker 2: Iowa and we have the biggest skate park in the US.

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Speaker 2: But like I feel like a lot of people, like

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Speaker 2: I've noticed in general, like a lot of people like

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Speaker 2: don't make it out of Iowa, if that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So stop, I'm gonna stop you right there. You

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Speaker 1: say you want to be in the industry. What do

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Speaker 1: you want to do, is that you want to be

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Speaker 1: a professional skater.

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Speaker 2: Not necessarily just doing something that like like whether that's

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Speaker 2: like film or like like press boards or like you know,

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Speaker 2: draw graphics for board. You know, something like that gets

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Speaker 2: me in the industry. And I guess that's what I'm doing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna say, I was gonna I was

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Speaker 1: gonna say, first of all, you already are in the industry.

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Speaker 1: You make money. You make money, okay, but you make

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Speaker 1: you make money teaching kids how to skate, yes, And

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Speaker 1: you work at a skate shop.

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Speaker 4: Yes.

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Speaker 1: And these things pay you money.

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Speaker 2: Uh yeah, they.

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Speaker 1: Don't pay you. It sounds like it sounds like they

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Speaker 1: don't pay you as much money as you'd like them

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Speaker 1: to pay you right now, Like, but when when when

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Speaker 1: but just just when we say, I just want to

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Speaker 1: like define this because I really like fucking mean that.

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Speaker 1: Like sometimes these things get to vague and that's annoying

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Speaker 1: to me. So if we were to define f this,

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Speaker 1: like if we were like the industry, if we were

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Speaker 1: to define the industry, can you hear me? Please tell

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Speaker 1: me you can hear me in this? You can hear me?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Okay. If we were to define the industry as like

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Speaker 1: you making money, making enough money to like pay your

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Speaker 1: bills by in the in the realm of skateboarding, then

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Speaker 1: the industry is not this closed off thing that is

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Speaker 1: determined by a select group of people who are cooler

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Speaker 1: and smarter than you. But it's it's a it's like

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Speaker 1: a wide open field of opportunity. I think. So, I mean,

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Speaker 1: tell me, do you what do you want to do

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Speaker 1: in skate You just said I want to design things.

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Speaker 1: I want to tell me more, like, what do you

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Speaker 1: want to what do you want to do?

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I guess like I've kind of thought

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Speaker 2: about that, but like not to that extent. I guess

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Speaker 2: like kind of like my foot in is teaching kids,

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Speaker 2: and like I honestly, if I could get paid the

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Speaker 2: rest of my life to like do that like enough

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Speaker 2: where I'd be like financially well, I would totally do that.

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Speaker 1: Why don't see why that? Well, hold on, why is that?

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Speaker 1: Why is that a such a far off goal to you?

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Speaker 2: Because of right now, like especially in skating, it's like

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Speaker 2: in a downfall, and like a lot of companies are

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Speaker 2: like shutting down, and like not as many kids are

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Speaker 2: skateboarding because like COVID hit and like everybody was like

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Speaker 2: looking for something to do, yeah, and then and then

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Speaker 2: they found skateboarding and they're like, holy shit, like this

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Speaker 2: fucking skateboarding thing. And then uh and then you know

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Speaker 2: everyone everything's kind of like open now, and then it's like, oh,

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Speaker 2: like we don't need that. So like all these companies

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Speaker 2: like overordered shit and like little shit like that, and

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Speaker 2: like the skateboarding economy is kind of like crashing as

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Speaker 2: of right now.

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Speaker 1: What how often are you teaching kids the skateboarding.

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Speaker 2: I do an after school thing with kids every like

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Speaker 2: once every week, and then like as of right now,

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Speaker 2: just because it's like starting to get cold, I do

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Speaker 2: like one on one lessons and like I do that

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Speaker 2: like maybe once or twice a week, but usually like

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Speaker 2: in the summer. It's crazy we have like so like

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Speaker 2: I guess during the summer because like we have like

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Speaker 2: winters here. I don't know if you've ever been to

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Speaker 2: Iowa or not, yeah, but Iowa. Yeah, and there's not

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Speaker 2: a lot to do. But it's sick definitely during the summer,

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Speaker 2: like all these parents are like getting their kids to

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Speaker 2: skate and my shit like that. And so during the summer,

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Speaker 2: like I'm like booked all the time because all these

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Speaker 2: parents are like finding stuff for their kids to do.

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Speaker 2: But like now that kids are back in school, it's

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Speaker 2: like slowly going down.

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Speaker 1: Man, you said you were twenty Yeah, oh holy shit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. I'm pretty like I'm a baby. I

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Speaker 2: feel like sometimes uh.

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Speaker 1: Well, I mean, shit, man, you I think you've got

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Speaker 1: a lot of uh I don't know that. I feel

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Speaker 1: like there's so much opportunity for you. So like do

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Speaker 1: you make videos? Do you like market yourself?

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Speaker 2: Not necessarily with the what's it called? So I'm leaving

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Speaker 2: my house, I don't necessarily like as much, but like regularly.

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Speaker 1: Necessarily what you don't you don't necessarily what as much?

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Speaker 2: Oh like film like me like doing like skate lessons,

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Speaker 2: but like it's out there that I do skate lessons,

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Speaker 2: so like people now that I do skate lessons, and

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Speaker 2: then like like I do like post skateboarding, and I've

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Speaker 2: picked up a couple of sponsors from that and ship

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Speaker 2: like that, which is really cool.

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Speaker 1: I just don't think that you're uh, I don't think

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Speaker 1: this is out of the realm of possibility for you

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Speaker 1: to continue to do skateboarding stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't. I guess, like I don't even know

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Speaker 2: like why I'm like thinking so hard about the skate

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Speaker 2: stuff because like I know, I'll be fine and I'll

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Speaker 2: always have skating, So I don't. It's just like a thought.

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Speaker 2: I have a lot.

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Speaker 1: I I used to I used to love skateboarding. I

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Speaker 1: still do love skateboarding, just as like I love I've

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Speaker 1: always loved watching it, uh since I was a kid.

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Speaker 1: I used to be obsessed with skate three and I

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Speaker 1: liked watching a lot of those like skate videos. I

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Speaker 1: still uh like watching it. It's scary. I used to.

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Speaker 1: I used to live in Venice and I would go

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Speaker 1: to Venice Beach and I would watch the skateboarders and

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Speaker 1: there were all these like like twelve year olds who

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Speaker 1: like were on their fucking like scooters and they were

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Speaker 1: jumping off like you they were doing shit that Like

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm double these more than double these kids age,

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Speaker 1: and I'd be fucking terrified, but they're like with no fear.

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Speaker 1: It's fine. I'm not I'm going off the rails here,

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Speaker 1: no pun intended. But I thought, I'm watching these kids

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Speaker 1: and I'm thinking, I'm like, if I was like this

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Speaker 1: kid's father, I would be like, you're never skateboarding ever,

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Speaker 1: I would forbid. I would be like, I think I'd

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Speaker 1: be pretty good at, like, you know, encouraging my kids

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Speaker 1: to like be whoever they want to be or do

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Speaker 1: whatever they want to do. But skateboarding, I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's so, it's just so I actually I really like it.

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Speaker 1: I like watching it and I appreciate it, but it's

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Speaker 1: just so easy to get fucked up, you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like that's how I had surgery. And like I

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Speaker 2: think I'm just kind of like scared sometimes because I've

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Speaker 2: given so much of my life and like shit into skating,

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Speaker 2: like it's my whole like personality kind of, so it's

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Speaker 2: like I just want it to work out, but like

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Speaker 2: I don't even know like why I'm worrying because like

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Speaker 2: wherever I put my energy, that's where you're supposed to go.

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Speaker 1: Listen. I don't think. I don't think. I think you

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Speaker 1: said it just now nicely. I think I don't think

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Speaker 1: you should lament all the time you spend skateboarding. I

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Speaker 1: think that uh you you'll have you have so much

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Speaker 1: uh uh time to develop yourself however you want to,

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Speaker 1: you know.

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Speaker 2: I think another thing is like maybe because it's getting cold,

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Speaker 2: but like I get kind of bored of skating, Like

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Speaker 2: not in a sense where I'm like I'm never gonna

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Speaker 2: skate again. Like sometimes like you get stuck, Like you

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Speaker 2: get periods where you get stuck because you don't know

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Speaker 2: what to do or like learn or something like that,

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Speaker 2: and so like you just start getting bored. So I've

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Speaker 2: been like doing other stuff and then I'll take a

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Speaker 2: couple of day break and then come back and feel

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Speaker 2: like a lot better.

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Speaker 1: Did What did you say?

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Speaker 3: Your name was? Jo?

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Speaker 1: Fuck Ship? I'm sorry I don't remember anyone, I Sully?

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Speaker 1: Mmmm mm hmmm, Sally is is uh is there anything

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Speaker 1: else that you want to say to the people of

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Speaker 1: the computer before we go?

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Speaker 2: Yes, I do. I'm pulling it up.

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Speaker 1: Oh, you wrote something, Yeah, go ahead.

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Speaker 2: Not not wrote something, but like I'm really into like

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Speaker 2: trying to be happy and find purpose. Uh, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Let's just go with life is best lived in the

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Speaker 2: present moment. If not, who fuck? I forgot it?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Here we go? Sorry? Wait no, oh I'm fucking this up.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Lyle.

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Speaker 1: It's okay, man, Sorry you.

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Speaker 2: Fuck. I just love yourself and like, if people are hating,

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Speaker 2: like you're doing something right.

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Speaker 1: No, not always, not always, not always at all, not always,

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Speaker 1: not always, not always. But I think if if people

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Speaker 1: are if people are hating on you because you're skateboarding

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Speaker 1: in a weird way, I think those people are are idiots.

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Speaker 2: I guess just be the energy you want. It would tract.

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Speaker 3: I like that.

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Speaker 1: Uh, well, take care, Sally. I hope to see you

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Speaker 1: Trey flipping uh all over all over the Tri County

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Speaker 1: area one day.

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Speaker 2: Thank you. I love you. Can I Sally can? I?

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Speaker 1: There we go? He's Sully and I look like Mike Wazowski. Hi.

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Speaker 1: Who is this?

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Speaker 3: This is John? John?

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Speaker 1: What's up? John?

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Speaker 3: What's up? Man? I was just calling first. I want

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Speaker 3: to say I love your show, bro. You thank you

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00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 3: doing great things. I appreciate you your show and everything. Sorry,

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Speaker 3: I'm a little nervous right now.

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Speaker 1: No, it's okay, Thank you very much, John. I appreciate that.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate that. What do you do? What are you

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Speaker 1: doing right now?

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Speaker 3: Where are you right now? I'm at I'm at my house,

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00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:10,439
Speaker 3: just finished eating some water Burger, some uh cool number eleven.

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Speaker 3: Now now I'm chilling in my room next to my cat.

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Speaker 1: What's a number eleven at Waterburger?

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Speaker 3: That's a grilled chicken sandwich right there?

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Speaker 1: Oh shit? What is uh? I didn't know they have

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Speaker 1: grilled chicken at Waterburger.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, man, they got uh got grilled chicken, they got

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00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 3: uh fried chicken, they got all kinds of stuff. Used

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Speaker 3: to work there as I had.

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Speaker 1: Whatater Burger eleven days ago? And uh, against my better judgment,

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Speaker 1: I got a Doctor Pepper milkshake. Did you get that?

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Speaker 5: Fuck?

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Speaker 6: No?

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Speaker 1: Because normally here's the thing. Like a Doctor Pepper slurpy

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Speaker 1: is something I'm familiar with, but a milkshake is not

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Speaker 1: like a I've never heard in my life of like

356
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Speaker 1: a soda milk or even like a Doctor Pepper float.

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Speaker 1: But to combine the soda and the ice cream into

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Speaker 1: a milkshake is unheard of.

359
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was, uh, yeah, I don't know about that,

360
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Speaker 3: doctor pepper milkshake. I feel like you'll give.

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Speaker 1: Me the ships, you know, yeah, it would, it would. So, John,

362
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Speaker 1: what's up? Was there a reason you called today?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Dude, So I wanted to talk like about So I

365
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:25,359
Speaker 3: haven't talked to anybody about this yet, but just graduate,

366
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Speaker 3: graduated nursing school and stuff like that. Because past my

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Speaker 3: my inflex, thank you bro, just past my inclex my

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Speaker 3: state exam. I'm a licensed nurse now. But I thought,

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Speaker 3: like I thought once I became like a nurse and

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Speaker 3: graduated nursing school, like you know, shit would get better, right,

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Speaker 3: But it turns out like sh it just got worse,

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Speaker 3: Like I think, uh after that, Like after I graduated

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Speaker 3: nursing school, i passed my exam, I was like, I

374
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Speaker 3: was the depressed I've ever the most depressed I've ever

375
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Speaker 3: been in my life. And I was like confused because

376
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Speaker 3: I was like, oh, this is a goal I've been

377
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Speaker 3: working towards since I was like in high school, you know.

378
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Speaker 3: So I was I've been contemplating on im like is

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Speaker 3: there I wanted to ask you, like what what what

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Speaker 3: kind of makes you makes you happy.

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Speaker 1: It's interesting you say that. I the other day, like

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Speaker 1: two or three days, two days ago, I was in

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Speaker 1: my notes app and I was writing down everything that

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Speaker 1: had been making me happy lately at least, and I

385
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Speaker 1: could talk about that. But I guess, so for you,

386
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Speaker 1: why did why do you think you felt so depressed

387
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Speaker 1: after graduating?

388
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Speaker 3: So I was, uh, so, I also, I've been trying

389
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Speaker 3: to I was listening to your and I heard that

390
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 3: you journal and stuff, and I was like, oh, that's

391
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 3: a good idea. Let me trust journal. So yeah, I

392
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,639
Speaker 3: tried journaling and I was just like kind of typing

393
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 3: it out, could I do and all that? And I

394
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 3: realized it was because like nursing school did it did

395
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Speaker 3: it doesn't give you break to like to think other

396
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:22,600
Speaker 3: than what you have to do, what your schedule's like

397
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 3: and and all that. And my girlfriend she also moved

398
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Speaker 3: to what she didn't She joined the army and she's

399
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,160
Speaker 3: in career right now, and she was like my main

400
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:40,240
Speaker 3: like person to talk to you, m so she so

401
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:43,719
Speaker 3: she left right before I graduated, and then I graduated,

402
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 3: and then I guess, like all my like emotions kind

403
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:50,960
Speaker 3: of hit me at once, like everything that was kind

404
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:55,120
Speaker 3: of being suppressed from like me kind of like grinding

405
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Speaker 3: to graduate and do all this crap.

406
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Speaker 2: I was.

407
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:01,960
Speaker 3: I think it all hit me at once.

408
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. That actually makes

409
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 1: like a ton of sense that because there's a there's

410
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 1: thinking about ship and doing shit, and uh, there's kind

411
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:21,000
Speaker 1: of I think there's an optimal balance in life between

412
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:23,480
Speaker 1: thinking about ship and doing shit, like you should like,

413
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 1: if you're constantly thinking about shit all the time, uh,

414
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:29,240
Speaker 1: you're gonna be anxious and you're not gonna actually do anything.

415
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 1: But if you're constantly doing shit all the time, or

416
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Speaker 1: you're not even thinking about why you're doing it or

417
00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:36,160
Speaker 1: like examining your life in any way, shape or form,

418
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Speaker 1: then uh yeah, everything just gets kind of like bottled

419
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Speaker 1: up and comes out at once, or like you know,

420
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Speaker 1: you spend seven years doing some bullshit and then afterwards

421
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:47,399
Speaker 1: you're like, wait, why did they even do any of that?

422
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:53,640
Speaker 1: You know, this is optimal, there's like an optimal balance

423
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Speaker 1: of actually living your life versus thinking about it. Are

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Speaker 1: you you do you feel like you spent too much

425
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:05,199
Speaker 1: time doing and not enough time examining why you were

426
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Speaker 1: doing what you were doing or what was kind of

427
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:08,480
Speaker 1: even going on in your life of a time.

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Speaker 3: So I kind of figured out, like, all right, I

429
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:14,879
Speaker 3: want to be in like I want to because I

430
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:21,920
Speaker 3: enjoy helping people stuff like that. But even fuck, dude,

431
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 3: don't I don't. Sorry, sorry dudles, your question again. I

432
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 3: kind of blank out how bad my question was.

433
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Speaker 1: If you feel like you've been spending too much time

434
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Speaker 1: doing shit that you haven't spent enough time thinking about

435
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:37,639
Speaker 1: your life?

436
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I've been yeah, yeah, definitely,

437
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:50,920
Speaker 3: I've been uh shit, well single. I think I don't

438
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 3: remember the last time I was, uh say, I think

439
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,639
Speaker 3: maybe four years ago I was single. I didn't have

440
00:26:56,680 --> 00:27:00,399
Speaker 3: a girlfriend, so I was no, it's probably like five

441
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 3: So I think I've constantly had like someone there to

442
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:10,640
Speaker 3: like distract me and kind of keep my mind from

443
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:14,399
Speaker 3: from all like a bunch of crap, you know. Yeah,

444
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 3: and with the school I've been in school for since

445
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 3: I since like twenty eighteen. I just kind of went

446
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,680
Speaker 3: all over the place with school and then landing here.

447
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, so uh is your so are you single

448
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:33,960
Speaker 1: now or your girlfriend? Is she she's away right where

449
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:34,719
Speaker 1: she's in Korea?

450
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's in Korea, and the army.

451
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, how like is she gonna be there? How long

452
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:42,320
Speaker 1: are you guys gonna be separated? For you?

453
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 2: Oh, like a year?

454
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,400
Speaker 1: Uh huh? What you What have you been doing since

455
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:49,200
Speaker 1: you've graduated?

456
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,399
Speaker 3: So since since I graduated, I was studying for the

457
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:58,399
Speaker 3: state exam, so I was keeping busy with that. And

458
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 3: I I took my state exam. When was it last week? Monday?

459
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 3: So since then, dude, I've just been like going to

460
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:15,720
Speaker 3: the gym, should just whatever. I kind of kind of

461
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,439
Speaker 3: feel like I like making food. I've just been like

462
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:21,120
Speaker 3: doing ship to kind of keep me busy. Mm hmm,

463
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 3: yeah I haven't. I haven't just been chilling now.

464
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:27,480
Speaker 1: Why so, why do you think you're so depressed? Then?

465
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:33,439
Speaker 3: So? Oh dude, so I was. I was, Uh, I

466
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,640
Speaker 3: don't know, that was the thing. I don't know where

467
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 3: the fuck I was. I was so depressed. I was

468
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 3: trying to think of like, uh, I was, I was

469
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 3: gonna go to therapy too, but those fuckers aren't calling

470
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 3: me back. I was thinking maybe, like I was, I

471
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 3: was trying to think, maybe it is like it or

472
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 3: hereditary because my mom she's on uh SSR, I is

473
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 3: or like and and I had depressed into or whatever,

474
00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:01,600
Speaker 3: and uh, she's on them, and then my grandma's pretty crazy,

475
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 3: and then my mom's brother is pretty crazy. So it's like, oh, fuck,

476
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 3: is it like hereditary to have like a chemical imbalance?

477
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 3: Do I need to be I'm like antidepressants or what.

478
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 3: So I was trying to go to a therapist or

479
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 3: is that or is that a psychiatrist?

480
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 1: Uh, the psychiatrist is the one that does meds and

481
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 1: the therapist is the one that stares at you and

482
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:25,400
Speaker 1: goes yes, uh huh yeah.

483
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 3: Uh huh yeah. Uh. I don't really know, dude, I've

484
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 3: been I'm trying to trying to figure that out. I

485
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 3: was I was on YouTube before you went on stream.

486
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 3: I saw a clip from Kai Sinnat with John Cena

487
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:49,560
Speaker 3: and then he was uh, he was spit in some

488
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:54,520
Speaker 3: some some truth. He was saying like he he thought

489
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 3: his purpose on the world was to like be a

490
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 3: wrestler and then he became an actor and he was like,

491
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 3: oh so I'm like, ah, like, uh, I forgot what

492
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 3: he said, like an entertainer or some ship. But then

493
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,440
Speaker 3: he said he realized like that those things weren't making

494
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 3: him like half, those weren't his main source of happiness,

495
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:20,840
Speaker 3: like external forces this this it's not like directly quoted,

496
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 3: but it's kind of like what he was saying, Like

497
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 3: these things weren't his uh source of happiness or his

498
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 3: his uh his purpose, but he he said he was

499
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 3: grateful for like waking up in the morning and like

500
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 3: being so fortunate to be where he's at. So I

501
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 3: was I was trying to think, like what the what

502
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 3: the fuck? Like I thought being a nurse would like

503
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 3: make me like, uh have like some sort of purpose,

504
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:55,840
Speaker 3: you know, like or happiness.

505
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:57,200
Speaker 1: Yeah.

506
00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 3: So yeah, because like this goal I was I was

507
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,479
Speaker 3: going for since I was like in high school. I

508
00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 3: finally got and I thought it would have been like this,

509
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 3: you fork, euphoric feeling of like oh shit, dude, finally

510
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 3: did it. Yeah. I was like, oh, like I was

511
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:18,680
Speaker 3: expecting that. But when I was when I graduated, I

512
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 3: was walking with my friends, and my friends were like like.

513
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 2: Oh, hyped up.

514
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 3: They're like, oh shit, we did it, blah blah blah,

515
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 3: and I was just like like like expressionless, Like I

516
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,640
Speaker 3: was just like I wanted to be happy. I just couldn't,

517
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:35,720
Speaker 3: Like I couldn't do it. I don't know. It was weird.

518
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 1: So all right, I mean, I have, I have some

519
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,719
Speaker 1: thoughts and these are just I'm just going off of

520
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:48,400
Speaker 1: like my own lived experience, Okay, and everyone's brains are

521
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 1: differently and uh, you know, brain chemistry and shit is

522
00:31:53,000 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 1: a thing. So you know, aside from just me and

523
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 1: Kai Sinnat, you should definitely still try to find a

524
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 1: real therapist or psychiatrist to talk through these things with.

525
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 1: But while you're waiting for them to call you back,

526
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 1: and it is just me and Kai Sinnat, I'll say

527
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,440
Speaker 1: from my own lived experience that I but that what

528
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 1: makes Because you asked me earlier, you were like, what

529
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 1: makes me happy? And I wrote down a list, and

530
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 1: lately the things that are making me really happy, especially

531
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 1: as I get older and as I get kind of

532
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:45,160
Speaker 1: further along in my what I'm doing, they become strongly

533
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 1: less and less about accomplishments and far more about general

534
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:57,800
Speaker 1: peace of mind. Like again, I can only speak from

535
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 1: my lived experience. I've accomplished what I like is a lot,

536
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 1: and I feel grateful to have accomplished and experienced and

537
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:08,000
Speaker 1: everything that I've accomplished and experienced in my life. But

538
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 1: you know, I was pretty and I've you know, there's

539
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 1: there's been a lot of misery among those accomplishments. And

540
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 1: as far as just like my general state of being,

541
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,760
Speaker 1: it comes less from anything I've accomplished and more from like,

542
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:29,560
Speaker 1: how do I achieve just like a like peace? And

543
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 1: I don't think that peace is necessarily achieved by achieving

544
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff. I'm no expert and how peace

545
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:41,840
Speaker 1: is achieved, because if I were, I would be more peaceful.

546
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 1: But just in my own life, I think peace is

547
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 1: something you kind of arrived to. The acceptance and the

548
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 1: you know you talked about like how you haven't even

549
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:57,920
Speaker 1: sorted through the thoughts like you have you've had You've

550
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,239
Speaker 1: been distracted. That's kind of was some of the things

551
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 1: you've been talked about. You said you felt distracted by

552
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 1: like your girlfriend and by your work and whatnot. And

553
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:10,640
Speaker 1: I think taking some time away from those distractions to

554
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:15,719
Speaker 1: like work out why your brain is rattled or what

555
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 1: the fuck is bothering you is helpful. I have, personally,

556
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:27,719
Speaker 1: I have struggled with the the opposite where I think

557
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 1: there's wait, I talked about this again, there's the if

558
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 1: you if every single day you're thinking so much about

559
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:38,840
Speaker 1: yourself and your life and analyzing everything you do, you'll

560
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 1: you get, you get. It makes you kind of anxious,

561
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: but there needs to be an appropriate amount of like, Okay,

562
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:50,560
Speaker 1: let me examine why I feel the way I feel,

563
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:52,359
Speaker 1: and maybe I can achieve a little bit of peace

564
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:55,640
Speaker 1: through that. But like you know, at a certain point,

565
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 1: put the fucking pen down and uh go, you know,

566
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,080
Speaker 1: play call of duty, do whatever you gotta do to

567
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 1: turn your brain off. Yeah, I'm trying to think with

568
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:18,880
Speaker 1: your specific situation. Hm hmmm, I mean, do you like nursing?

569
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 1: Do you like the process of That's the other thing

570
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:30,879
Speaker 1: with the achievements is that they're not particularly process focused, right,

571
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 1: m So do you like nursing? Do you do you

572
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 1: like schooling? Are you excited to literally do the functions

573
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:41,280
Speaker 1: of your job?

574
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 3: I'm I'm pretty excited to do my job. I'm it

575
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 3: was weird, man, because when I when I first when

576
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:58,000
Speaker 3: I first started like nursing, I was uh more compassionate.

577
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 3: I was more compassionate than I am now because I

578
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:04,200
Speaker 3: work in the hospitals as a tech. Yeah, and you

579
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:06,120
Speaker 3: you see like a lot of uh I mean yeah,

580
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 3: you see people dying. You see like death and ship

581
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,719
Speaker 3: So fuck man, I don't know. I felt more compassionate

582
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 3: when I first started. But I do enjoy I really do, like,

583
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:21,640
Speaker 3: uh like doing like the ICU kind of thing when

584
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 3: I did my clinicals. I mean, people are dying there more,

585
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:28,279
Speaker 3: but I enjoy like the I enjoy that. But I

586
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:29,920
Speaker 3: was trying to think, yeah, there's not really like a

587
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 3: process of of of doing that. But even then in

588
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:39,440
Speaker 3: the ICU, I can't even like look forward. I mean

589
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:41,279
Speaker 3: I can, but I can't like look forward to that

590
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:46,759
Speaker 3: either because it's like, well, ship, like I can't base

591
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 3: my happiness anymore on that, like anymore getting to a place.

592
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:55,360
Speaker 1: Wow, what do you mean? What do you mean.

593
00:36:56,760 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 3: Like I can't base my happiness or I can't depend

594
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 3: on on getting to a certain like destination two make

595
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 3: me happy anymore?

596
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:11,879
Speaker 6: Because sure I did that with uh, with like graduating

597
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 6: and ship, and it fucking it's like, uh like I

598
00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 6: just like.

599
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,759
Speaker 3: Kind of blew my fucking world apart, you.

600
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:27,239
Speaker 5: Know, yeah, because I was like, oh, I thought this

601
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:30,160
Speaker 5: should have been it, you know, like I'm starting like

602
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:31,759
Speaker 5: I'm not going to be broken more.

603
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:34,760
Speaker 1: I mean I guess every day I had a fuck

604
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 1: man ah fuck uh, I guess every day you try

605
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 1: to take pride in your own competence. I mean, you're

606
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:53,800
Speaker 1: a you're a nurse, you help people, you're you seem

607
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:57,960
Speaker 1: to be competent at your job, and like that's kind

608
00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:00,319
Speaker 1: of everything. That's the only thing. I've been coming to

609
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,920
Speaker 1: a lot of epiphanies lately, and that's one of them,

610
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 1: is that the only things that matter are like, you know,

611
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:10,680
Speaker 1: the people you're around, and then like what you're actually

612
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 1: fucking doing. You know, So you could have all the

613
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 1: accolades or whatever in the world, but it all, it

614
00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:19,440
Speaker 1: all really comes down to what the fuck are you

615
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:22,560
Speaker 1: actually doing. And what the fuck you're actually doing is

616
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 1: you're being competent and you're helping people who are dying.

617
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:29,680
Speaker 1: So you got that on a pretty solid lock, I

618
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:32,759
Speaker 1: would say, mm hmm.

619
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:35,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

620
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:41,239
Speaker 3: It's it's how how often do you feel like if

621
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 3: it's not too personal of a question, how like like depressed,

622
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 3: like you.

623
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,279
Speaker 1: I feel I feel I feel the pressed. I feel

624
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 1: the pressed pretty often. Man, Yeah, I feel depressed pretty often.

625
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:59,280
Speaker 1: I'm working really hard and I think achieving actually some results,

626
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:04,320
Speaker 1: like I've I've Yeah, I mean I feel depressed pretty often,

627
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:07,799
Speaker 1: And lately I've been kind of saying to myself, I

628
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:16,760
Speaker 1: need to make a concentrated effort to prioritize not feeling

629
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:23,040
Speaker 1: depressed as much. Like that's my new goal. That's kind

630
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 1: of my end. I've been having a lot of epiphanies lately,

631
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,719
Speaker 1: and one of them is, you know, my new goal

632
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 1: is just I can not be depressed because you can

633
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 1: have as many you know, as we're kind of on

634
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:38,680
Speaker 1: theme of what I think we're talking about, is you

635
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 1: can have as many get to as many places as

636
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:45,120
Speaker 1: you want to get to as possible. But if you're

637
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:49,160
Speaker 1: fucking miserable the whole time, then I don't think it

638
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:52,319
Speaker 1: was worth it. You know, you have to kind of

639
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,359
Speaker 1: it's a lot of work to not be miserable if

640
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 1: that's your default state of being. Some people get lucky

641
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:02,640
Speaker 1: and they they're not that's not really their default state

642
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 1: of being, or they don't have to deal with that,

643
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,359
Speaker 1: and that's great. But if you're one of the people who, uh,

644
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:09,239
Speaker 1: that is a fairly common state of being, it's a

645
00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 1: lot of PHASI fucking concentrated effort to not be that,

646
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:16,400
Speaker 1: you know. So that's I guess what I'm working on.

647
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:19,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know who David Goggins is.

648
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:27,440
Speaker 1: My friend, my friend, one of my friends just went

649
00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:31,080
Speaker 1: through a breakup and we talked on the phone and

650
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 1: a few days afterwards, and he was like, I'm in

651
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 1: my David Goggins phase of the breakup where he's he's

652
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:42,360
Speaker 1: all on that like run wake up at four am

653
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,319
Speaker 1: and run ten miles a day. Ship.

654
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:49,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was. I was. I used to I used

655
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,239
Speaker 3: to be my fucking idol. And I was like, I mean,

656
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:56,319
Speaker 3: he seems pretty chill with a misery. So I was like, oh,

657
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 3: maybe maybe David Goggins is the way.

658
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:02,719
Speaker 1: Maybe he's he seems pretty chill with misery. What do

659
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:03,399
Speaker 1: you mean by that?

660
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:08,920
Speaker 3: Like he seems pretty uh. He he always says like comfortable,

661
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:15,440
Speaker 3: like comfortable with being uh like there's a not fucking miserable,

662
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 3: like comfortable with with uh being like uncomfortable with with

663
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 3: like pain like mental mental pain, and like, oh sure pain.

664
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:29,800
Speaker 1: Well, well, because well he well that's different.

665
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 3: That's me.

666
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 1: That's he's like, I want to wake up, I wake

667
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:35,279
Speaker 1: up at four o'clock in the morning. And I like,

668
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:38,840
Speaker 1: that's a whole different fucking thing, I think. But I

669
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:40,640
Speaker 1: think that's a little different than like the whole like

670
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:43,640
Speaker 1: woo woo self acceptance vibe.

671
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 3: You know, Yeah, I guess I kind of watched his

672
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 3: videos sometimes and I'm and I'm like, oh, maybe I'm

673
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,560
Speaker 3: just a bitch man. Maybe I need to, like, you know,

674
00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 3: like shut the fuck up and a little bit.

675
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:59,160
Speaker 1: I really, I really, I really I swear. And this

676
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 1: is I'm an I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say this

677
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:05,080
Speaker 1: because I think it's kind. I think I do find

678
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:08,480
Speaker 1: it important. I really do believe, and I've thought I

679
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 1: swear my life. I think about this stuff so much.

680
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:13,480
Speaker 1: I think about the David Goggins universe, and I think

681
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:16,560
Speaker 1: about the WU will self, the self acceptance universe a

682
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:18,880
Speaker 1: bunch and I and I like, like, how much of

683
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:26,719
Speaker 1: I really do believe? The answer is somewhere? Truly, honestly,

684
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 1: I really believe the answer is somewhere in between. Like

685
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 1: it's not one or the other, it's somewhere in between.

686
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:39,880
Speaker 1: The universe of like, you gotta love yourself and accept life,

687
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:43,680
Speaker 1: accept yourself as who you are, and accept life for

688
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:47,520
Speaker 1: what it is, and accept your improfessions, accept your imperfections

689
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 1: and accept the world and accept yourself and believe that

690
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:53,799
Speaker 1: you're enough. But also quit being a little bitch and

691
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:58,920
Speaker 1: fucking go exercise and quit complaining about fucking everything, and like,

692
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:02,320
Speaker 1: do some fucking work and stop. You know, it's somewhere

693
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:04,799
Speaker 1: in between those two things. I think, I think, I

694
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:07,280
Speaker 1: think you could. I really, I believe you could hold

695
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:12,960
Speaker 1: space for both ideas.

696
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:15,880
Speaker 3: You should get David Goggins on your on your podcast.

697
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 1: That would be extremely funny. Anyway, man, is there is

698
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:21,399
Speaker 1: there anything else you want to say to the people

699
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:22,440
Speaker 1: of the computer before we go?

700
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 3: Uh? Shit? Fuck, I didn't think. I didn't think what

701
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:34,279
Speaker 3: to say. Uh have a oh ship name alert? I mean,

702
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:37,200
Speaker 3: have a good day, keep watching the geck.

703
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 1: Well, what what's the amber alert? Should we say? I

704
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,920
Speaker 1: guess I guess that what's the Amber alert? They'll probably

705
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:45,640
Speaker 1: be gone by the.

706
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:56,840
Speaker 3: Time Mitsubishi Outlander missing children are assume that ship. I

707
00:43:56,840 --> 00:44:01,280
Speaker 3: can't say their name ten year old suspect because Cheryl's

708
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,960
Speaker 3: Manchado Hernandez Jesus.

709
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:07,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I kind of wish I didn't ask you to.

710
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:09,600
Speaker 1: I mean, well, I don't think we're gonna find them

711
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:13,319
Speaker 1: from the from this episode, but maybe we do. I

712
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:16,279
Speaker 1: don't know. Anyway, Yeah, I have those turned off on

713
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:17,799
Speaker 1: my phone. Is that bad? Does that make me a

714
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:18,320
Speaker 1: bad person?

715
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:21,600
Speaker 3: I wish, I wish I knew how to do that

716
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:26,080
Speaker 3: because one happened at like four in the fucking morning,

717
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:28,960
Speaker 3: and I had to get up at five, and I

718
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:34,120
Speaker 3: was pretty pissed off. I mean, it sucks someone's uh,

719
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:39,600
Speaker 3: you know, child got abducted. Yeah, but uh, I was like.

720
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:41,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna sleep, you're probably having a kick ast.

721
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,959
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like what can what could I do? You know? Right?

722
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 1: All right? Well, what's your name again?

723
00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:50,800
Speaker 3: John?

724
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:54,279
Speaker 1: John? Have a good night, John? Good luck?

725
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:55,800
Speaker 3: You do, man, you do?

726
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:02,560
Speaker 1: I really do. I really think the answer is somewhere

727
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 1: in between those two spaces, because I'm there, Yeah, because

728
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:13,680
Speaker 1: there's a push and a pull. I think I'm only

729
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:16,720
Speaker 1: speaking out of my own fucking lived experience. I don't

730
00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 1: know the answers to any of the fucking questions that

731
00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:21,319
Speaker 1: of any of the things that people talk about on

732
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:23,400
Speaker 1: this thing. But there's a push and a pull between,

733
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,960
Speaker 1: Like you want more out of your life. In order

734
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:29,279
Speaker 1: to get more out of your life, you do have

735
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 1: to like quit being a little bitch and like go

736
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:37,239
Speaker 1: fucking exercise and like you know, uh, work hard and

737
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:41,440
Speaker 1: do things that to get you have to exert force

738
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:48,320
Speaker 1: and will yourself forward to make more out of your life.

739
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:52,600
Speaker 1: That is true. But if you're gonna fucking if the

740
00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:57,320
Speaker 1: whole way there is filled with you fucking being hating

741
00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:00,720
Speaker 1: yourself and being miserable and thinking that you're the fucking

742
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:05,560
Speaker 1: that you suck, it's not, it's not. I just don't

743
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:10,080
Speaker 1: think it's a proper equation. I think it's probably room

744
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:13,280
Speaker 1: to for both to get there. It's like, I believe

745
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:15,759
Speaker 1: that you can get you can get more out of

746
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:19,960
Speaker 1: your life without having to be miserable and hate yourself

747
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,920
Speaker 1: to get there. I don't know if that's true. But

748
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 1: that's my that's I'm EXPERI I'm doing that experiment in

749
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 1: my own life recently. That's my that's my recent epiphany.

750
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:37,400
Speaker 1: That's my new experiment for myself. Can I move my

751
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 1: life forward from a but do it from a place

752
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:45,239
Speaker 1: where I'm not hating myself into submission? I don't know.

753
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:47,880
Speaker 1: I'll report back to you guys in ten years if

754
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:48,640
Speaker 1: it all went well.

755
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 2: All from dragone?

756
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:58,279
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hi? What is your name? Uh?

757
00:46:58,360 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 4: Dragone?

758
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:01,760
Speaker 1: Oh, it's like the let's say they like the Pokemon

759
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 1: mm hmm.

760
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 4: My boyfriend and I are coloring some Pokemon right now, so.

761
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:13,239
Speaker 1: It sounds that sounds really fucking nice. You guys are

762
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 1: coloring together, dude, it really is.

763
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:18,160
Speaker 4: And I feel like the last time we tried to

764
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:20,640
Speaker 4: color together we couldn't get into it this much. But

765
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 4: now we're just coloring doodle and it's really nice.

766
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:26,399
Speaker 1: That's fucking awesome. I gotta you know, what I gotta

767
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:29,520
Speaker 1: write that down is an idea of something to do,

768
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:31,680
Speaker 1: just like sit down and color. I can't. I don't

769
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:33,120
Speaker 1: know when the last time I did that was.

770
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:35,759
Speaker 4: You should do it, definitely, it.

771
00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:42,040
Speaker 1: Sounds really nice. Well, dragon Night, I mean, we can

772
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:45,919
Speaker 1: just you know, fuck around, But do you have something

773
00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 1: particular you want to talk about.

774
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:52,880
Speaker 4: Well, I've been watching you for probably about a month now,

775
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:56,479
Speaker 4: and I have this thing with podcasts where I start

776
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 4: from the very beginning, like your first video, have and

777
00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:04,480
Speaker 4: been watching it. But I guess kind of just been

778
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:07,640
Speaker 4: struggling with like figuring out what I want to do

779
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:10,200
Speaker 4: as a jult, which I feel like is common. But

780
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:13,719
Speaker 4: I think I really like what you do, and I

781
00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:16,160
Speaker 4: really like talking to people and getting to know people

782
00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:18,040
Speaker 4: and like how they grew up to be the way

783
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:21,680
Speaker 4: they are. I just I don't know what career I

784
00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:22,320
Speaker 4: can make out of that.

785
00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:27,839
Speaker 1: Are you in college right now or what's up.

786
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:34,080
Speaker 4: No, I graduated high school a year ago and not

787
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:37,640
Speaker 4: in college. I'm just working, just working and working.

788
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:42,680
Speaker 1: Mhm. And so you want to do some kind of

789
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:44,240
Speaker 1: job where you can like talk to people.

790
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:50,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just I really like learning about how people

791
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:54,080
Speaker 4: have grown up and how they become who they are

792
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:56,319
Speaker 4: and why they act like that. I just like, I've

793
00:48:56,520 --> 00:49:00,759
Speaker 4: been thinking about a therapist, but I don't I don't know.

794
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:04,440
Speaker 4: I feel like I would take their emotions to heart

795
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:07,040
Speaker 4: and it would like hurt me in some way.

796
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:07,920
Speaker 3: I guess you.

797
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:09,440
Speaker 1: Feel like you would take their emotions to heart and

798
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:12,799
Speaker 1: it would hurt you in some way. I guess, well,

799
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:17,360
Speaker 1: I guess well, I guess if you I mean, I

800
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:23,600
Speaker 1: could talk about my own life. Yeah, I mean I

801
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 1: I have no interest, ever, no interest ever in becoming

802
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:37,239
Speaker 1: like an actual therapist, like having this kind of I mean,

803
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:39,680
Speaker 1: that's kind of feels that's like a lot of responsibility.

804
00:49:39,719 --> 00:49:43,640
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, that's kind of and it's a lot

805
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:46,440
Speaker 1: of work, and it's a lot of school, and it's

806
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:48,919
Speaker 1: a lot of like I mean, I I'm nothing close

807
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,440
Speaker 1: to a real therapist. I just fuck around on a

808
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:56,400
Speaker 1: podcast and chat with people. But you know, I think

809
00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:58,719
Speaker 1: there's a lot of nobility in becoming a real therapist

810
00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:04,320
Speaker 1: if you're you're you really really want to help people.

811
00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:08,719
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean I like learning about other people's

812
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:13,120
Speaker 1: learned experiences, and I like getting to chat with a

813
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:18,040
Speaker 1: lot of people, and so I just do it fucking

814
00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:20,000
Speaker 1: around on the internet. I do it in the phone

815
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:22,920
Speaker 1: call stuff. I do it in the live shows, I

816
00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:27,480
Speaker 1: do it in the street, And there's nothing. If that's

817
00:50:27,520 --> 00:50:29,360
Speaker 1: what you want to do, you want to just make

818
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 1: you want to just go out into the fucking world

819
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:35,640
Speaker 1: with a pencil and interview people. I mean you can

820
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:40,600
Speaker 1: do that today. You know, you're right If we're talking

821
00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:43,960
Speaker 1: about like what do you want to do to make

822
00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:46,959
Speaker 1: money so that you can live in a place and eat,

823
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:53,880
Speaker 1: it doesn't necessarily have to be the same thing that

824
00:50:53,960 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 1: you do to you know, to to gain enrichment from life.

825
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:03,719
Speaker 3: HM.

826
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:10,480
Speaker 1: Well go ahead, No, go ahead.

827
00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:13,799
Speaker 4: I would just like, well, for a question for you,

828
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:19,520
Speaker 4: is like what made you want to talk to people

829
00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:20,840
Speaker 4: like this over the phone?

830
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:25,560
Speaker 1: I this had this my this happened on accident. It

831
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 1: was yeah, this happened on accident. This was there was

832
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:32,000
Speaker 1: never this was not there was this? What I my

833
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:34,279
Speaker 1: life and what I do is not the result of

834
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:39,440
Speaker 1: me going, uh oh, I really want to talk to people,

835
00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:42,120
Speaker 1: and uh maybe I could, maybe I could do this

836
00:51:42,239 --> 00:51:47,440
Speaker 1: therapy gecko thing that could be a thing. I just

837
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:50,680
Speaker 1: was scoring around on the internet and people started calling

838
00:51:50,719 --> 00:51:56,800
Speaker 1: in and then as a result of fucking around, uh,

839
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:00,000
Speaker 1: I kind of fell into doing this and it worked.

840
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:08,480
Speaker 1: Then it was kind of this whole thing. But none

841
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:12,719
Speaker 1: of this was not I like fell into a weird thing.

842
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:14,880
Speaker 1: I always knew I wanted to do something that was

843
00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:18,000
Speaker 1: my own thing. I was always wanted to be like

844
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:21,319
Speaker 1: an entrepreneur of some kind or do something that was

845
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:26,240
Speaker 1: like weird or fun or interesting. But being a therapy

846
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:32,520
Speaker 1: gecko was a complete accident. Hmm.

847
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:35,160
Speaker 4: I don't know. I feel like a lot of things

848
00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:37,719
Speaker 4: happened just by chance. Two So.

849
00:52:39,840 --> 00:52:43,160
Speaker 1: They do, they do, they do, but but they they Okay,

850
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:44,600
Speaker 1: they do, all right, let me add a let me

851
00:52:44,640 --> 00:52:48,600
Speaker 1: add something to this so therapy gin this thing that

852
00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:53,520
Speaker 1: I'm doing happened as a complete accident. But the accident

853
00:52:54,239 --> 00:52:59,200
Speaker 1: happened as a result of a certain way that I

854
00:52:59,239 --> 00:53:03,960
Speaker 1: do think I is being intentional about my life, Like

855
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:11,439
Speaker 1: I intentionally screwed around, you know, I was exerting intentional

856
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:17,680
Speaker 1: effort into making stuff and doing stuff and trying new things,

857
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:24,719
Speaker 1: and that created an accident. Does that make sense? So

858
00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:26,919
Speaker 1: you have a desire that do you want to talk

859
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:30,840
Speaker 1: to people? Right? You like, so, why don't you just

860
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:35,799
Speaker 1: write down like five fucking ways that you could do

861
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:40,920
Speaker 1: that and then just go do them. Just start doing stuff, okay,

862
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:46,600
Speaker 1: and then and then maybe you'll run into a nice accident.

863
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:50,440
Speaker 1: I was. I did like a So I went to

864
00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:54,200
Speaker 1: college at at Temple University in Philly, and I went

865
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:59,040
Speaker 1: back there like a month ago to uh like talk

866
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:04,680
Speaker 1: to students there and shit, and somebody asked me. They

867
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:06,160
Speaker 1: were like, how do you figure out what you want

868
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:09,480
Speaker 1: to do? And I didn't. I first split second, I

869
00:54:09,480 --> 00:54:11,720
Speaker 1: was like, I don't know. I'm currently trying to figure

870
00:54:11,719 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 1: out what I want to do, you know, with my life,

871
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:19,399
Speaker 1: even though I already do this, I still I'm trying

872
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:22,000
Speaker 1: to figure out, like, well, what do I really want

873
00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:25,560
Speaker 1: to do? And then the answer kind of came to me.

874
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:28,920
Speaker 1: I was like, uh, it's you have it flipped. He

875
00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:32,919
Speaker 1: I told me that it flipped somebody. I by the way,

876
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:34,440
Speaker 1: I'm a hundred percent by the way, I don't want

877
00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:36,480
Speaker 1: to I'm like, ut my own ass right now. I

878
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:40,319
Speaker 1: almost certainly got this from somebody else just to be

879
00:54:40,520 --> 00:54:42,560
Speaker 1: I probably got this from like a YouTube comment or

880
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:48,720
Speaker 1: some shit. But I think it's the other way around.

881
00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:51,799
Speaker 1: I think you're supposed to just do stuff and then

882
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:54,040
Speaker 1: figure out what you want to do, because you sit

883
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:55,640
Speaker 1: there trying to figure out what you want to do,

884
00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:57,279
Speaker 1: and then you don't figure out what you want to

885
00:54:57,320 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 1: do and then do it. You do things and then

886
00:55:00,239 --> 00:55:02,520
Speaker 1: and then figure out if you actually like the thing

887
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:03,000
Speaker 1: you're doing.

888
00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:07,000
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, just do more social things things then maybe

889
00:55:07,120 --> 00:55:10,759
Speaker 4: just meet more people just like Yeah, I think I

890
00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:14,000
Speaker 4: think you called it an omnivert or something someone that's

891
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:16,200
Speaker 4: like extroverted and introverted.

892
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:18,960
Speaker 1: Oh I ambivert ambivert.

893
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:22,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I've been like I'm extroverted, but I've also

894
00:55:22,280 --> 00:55:25,120
Speaker 4: been really introverted lady lately, and I want to make friends,

895
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:29,280
Speaker 4: but I don't feel like coffee and it's just it's

896
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:30,160
Speaker 4: not a fun cycle.

897
00:55:32,440 --> 00:55:38,759
Speaker 1: Well you're like nineteen, yeah, Well and you're a are

898
00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:40,120
Speaker 1: you in like a big.

899
00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:44,480
Speaker 4: City kind of next to a big city.

900
00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:53,560
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, and you don't go to school, yeah, because

901
00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:56,880
Speaker 1: I guess normally I guess, like, yeah, when I was nineteen.

902
00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:59,120
Speaker 1: I went to in college, and it's easy. It's it

903
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:00,799
Speaker 1: does make it easier to be like because you're in

904
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:04,680
Speaker 1: a big, walkable community with a bunch of fucking clubs

905
00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:08,319
Speaker 1: and shit going on. But right, I don't know, try

906
00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:09,759
Speaker 1: to leave your house as much as you can.

907
00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:14,360
Speaker 4: Okay, I'll start doing that because I've been trying to

908
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:16,080
Speaker 4: look for a second job because the job I do,

909
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:17,839
Speaker 4: I just sit on the computer all ding, don't get

910
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:23,359
Speaker 4: too much human interaction, yes, and sucks. Yeah, So I've

911
00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:25,400
Speaker 4: been trying to look for a second job, something that

912
00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:29,479
Speaker 4: has more socializing, I guess. So I'll just keep trying

913
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:32,640
Speaker 4: to look for things to do outside.

914
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:40,080
Speaker 1: What's your name again, dragon knighte? Dragon KNIGHTE. Uh, Well,

915
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:41,920
Speaker 1: coloring is a good idea, Like I'm gonna ta I'm

916
00:56:41,920 --> 00:56:44,839
Speaker 1: gonna take a you've given me. I feel like you've

917
00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:48,080
Speaker 1: given me more advice on this than I have because

918
00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:50,279
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take the I'm gonna take your coloring thing.

919
00:56:50,320 --> 00:56:50,920
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do that.

920
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:52,600
Speaker 4: Uh, definitely do it.

921
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:54,200
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the

922
00:56:54,200 --> 00:56:55,520
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go.

923
00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:01,839
Speaker 4: I don't think so. I just I really am inspired

924
00:57:01,880 --> 00:57:03,879
Speaker 4: by what you do. I think it's really click.

925
00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:04,960
Speaker 3: Thank you.

926
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:06,840
Speaker 1: I'm trying my best keep it up.

927
00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:07,680
Speaker 3: Yeah.

928
00:57:08,280 --> 00:57:12,080
Speaker 4: I like learning more about you, so you.

929
00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:17,360
Speaker 1: Know, I'm trying to talk more about myself. It feels good.

930
00:57:17,360 --> 00:57:19,160
Speaker 1: I get why people want to hop on here and

931
00:57:19,680 --> 00:57:22,400
Speaker 1: talk about themselves. It feels it's fun to talk about

932
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:23,640
Speaker 1: yourself on a podcast.

933
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:29,240
Speaker 4: Mm hmm yeah. So yeah, I appreciate you talking to me.

934
00:57:29,560 --> 00:57:30,240
Speaker 4: It's been fun.

935
00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:32,040
Speaker 1: God bless you Dragon.

936
00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:34,280
Speaker 4: I take care you too, Bye bye.

937
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:42,480
Speaker 1: Oh man. I wish I was funnier. Sometimes I'll like,

938
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:45,600
Speaker 1: like when I can't like when I find myself being

939
00:57:45,640 --> 00:57:50,200
Speaker 1: too sincere or like just talking very sincerely for a

940
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:53,400
Speaker 1: long time. Here's this happens to me all the time.

941
00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:57,360
Speaker 1: I'll be talking too sincerely for a while, and I'm like,

942
00:57:57,520 --> 00:58:00,200
Speaker 1: I need to say something stupid or try to be

943
00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:05,760
Speaker 1: funny to break up this long streak of me talking

944
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:08,080
Speaker 1: sincerely and being up my own ass. And so I

945
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:10,920
Speaker 1: try to say something funny and then it's just not funny.

946
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:15,200
Speaker 1: And then I'm like, well, now I've just ruined this sincerity,

947
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:19,080
Speaker 1: and so I get so I just don't say anything,

948
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:24,920
Speaker 1: but I wish. I often wish I had something funnier

949
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:29,400
Speaker 1: to say when I'm saying something sincere. But what That's fine.

950
00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:32,080
Speaker 1: I accept myself for who I am in this very moment.

951
00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:37,840
Speaker 1: That's okay. Whatever, whatever, let's fuck this, Let's play an ad.

952
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:41,400
Speaker 1: Fuck this, let's play an ad. We do we even

953
00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:43,440
Speaker 1: add after this? I don't know if I'm gonna put

954
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:45,560
Speaker 1: this call. I don't know if I'm gonna put an

955
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 1: AD after this, or if it's going to be the

956
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:51,800
Speaker 1: end of the podcast. But whatever, I don't ask, but whatever,

957
00:58:51,880 --> 00:58:57,040
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know. Sorry, I'm sorry. Goes

958
00:58:57,120 --> 00:58:59,840
Speaker 1: on the line every night.

959
00:59:00,320 --> 00:59:03,440
Speaker 6: Everythink goes towards Eye, who is teaching you how to

960
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:07,000
Speaker 6: your life, but he's not really an expert.