1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,520 Speaker 1: Am I the ahole for telling my sister that our 2 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 1: parenting style sucks? And this is to answer the question, 3 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:10,280 Speaker 1: are there certain parenting styles that are just plain bad? Yeah? 4 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:12,600 Speaker 2: I think like the hands off parenting styles are pretty bad. 5 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: The ones where you just leave your kids out your 6 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:19,600 Speaker 1: worlds so logical. Newspaper nine eight one says, my younger 7 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 1: sister and her family, which includes her, her husband, and 8 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 1: two kids, three female and five male. We're visiting my 9 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,280 Speaker 1: husband and I and staying at her home for a week. 10 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,720 Speaker 1: A little background. We don't live in the same state. 11 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:33,120 Speaker 1: I've had kids of my own, but they're young adults 12 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:35,520 Speaker 1: now and out of the house. My sister is much 13 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:38,680 Speaker 1: younger than me and is still in the young family stage. 14 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:41,680 Speaker 1: We've always had a pretty close and good relationship despite 15 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:45,520 Speaker 1: our age gap. My sister does gentle parenting. I'd never 16 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:47,400 Speaker 1: heard of that because she'd come to stay with us 17 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 1: because I guess I'm out of the loop since my 18 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 1: kids are grown now. She explained to me that gentle 19 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 1: parenting means they don't do time out, don't do grounding, 20 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:01,960 Speaker 1: et cetera, but instead just about their feelings. I thought 21 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 1: this was a bit odd because it sounds like there 22 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:07,200 Speaker 1: is zero discipline, but didn't say anything as to not 23 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 1: rock the boat until I saw gentle parenting in action 24 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:18,319 Speaker 1: and was appalled, appalled, appalled. During the first two days 25 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:22,240 Speaker 1: of their stay, her daughter drew on my walls with crayon. 26 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,800 Speaker 1: I'd be furious. I'd be furious, and her son pulled 27 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,839 Speaker 1: up flowers I had recently planted in my garden bed 28 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,520 Speaker 1: and threw a rock at my car parked in the driveway. 29 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 1: They sound like menaces. To top it all off, they 30 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,920 Speaker 1: both kept constantly pulling my Golden Trooper's hair and hitting 31 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:39,919 Speaker 1: my dog in the face. 32 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:42,319 Speaker 2: Kids. 33 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, these these kids, these kids. Man. She never bit, 34 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: attempted to bite, or did anything that would harm or 35 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 1: spook the kids. 36 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:52,280 Speaker 2: M good dog. 37 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:55,040 Speaker 1: Yeah. In every instance I was expecting my sister or 38 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 1: husband to discipline the kids. They never did, so I did, 39 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 1: or at least I just me telling your kids to 40 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:05,040 Speaker 1: stop or scolding them in the slightest made my sister 41 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,640 Speaker 1: lose her mind. She told me it's not my place 42 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,080 Speaker 1: to discipline them. I told her, someone asked you because 43 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,360 Speaker 1: they're messing up my home. But I agree it should 44 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 1: be their parents scolding them. However, it seems their parents 45 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:17,640 Speaker 1: are not willing to. I told her they need a 46 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: fairly stern punishment for what they've been doing, and she 47 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:22,840 Speaker 1: started going off about how they refused to spank their 48 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:25,600 Speaker 1: kids like we were spanked as kids. I told her, 49 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 1: I'm not suggesting she spank her kids, but a stern 50 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:31,160 Speaker 1: talking to and making them clean up what they destroyed 51 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,600 Speaker 1: would be a good idea. She said, what our kids 52 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 1: were doing was not worth what I would call discipline. 53 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 1: All she did, in every instance was ask them, what 54 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 1: kind of feelings are you having that made you do that? 55 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:44,560 Speaker 1: And that was it. That's not gentle parenting. That's not 56 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,720 Speaker 1: effective gentle parents. Yeah, Celtic Kids says, that's not how 57 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: you gentle parent. Gentle parenting doesn't mean that you're not 58 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:53,839 Speaker 1: supposed to like scold your kids or punish your kids 59 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 1: at all. It just means don't physically hit your kids 60 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,360 Speaker 1: and work out the root causes as well well, but 61 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:06,399 Speaker 1: you're still supposed to like do something. Yeah, yeah, man, man, 62 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 1: oh man. 63 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 2: I don't know what I'm gonna approach with my parenting style. 64 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 1: Yeah I don't. 65 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,680 Speaker 2: I just hope my kids turn out good and I 66 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 2: don't like have to do anything. 67 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 1: I would never hit a child because I don't think 68 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 1: that hitting a child does anything, because what. 69 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,600 Speaker 2: It does it hit them with something like no hear 70 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:22,680 Speaker 2: me out here me hit them. 71 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,360 Speaker 1: With a little with a verse like. 72 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:29,799 Speaker 2: Okay, some knowledge, there we go, or like a pool noodle. 73 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 1: Oh well if it's for fun, but it's like a newspaper, 74 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:37,880 Speaker 1: like stop, don'tspaper. Have you hit them with the pool 75 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 1: noddle and you're having fun? 76 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,800 Speaker 2: No, it's like it's like it's like Charlie Stott boom. 77 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 1: I don't don't don't hit your kids. I don't think. 78 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,680 Speaker 1: I think there are there are two what's the word two? 79 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 1: Like extremes. You have hitting your children, which is too extreme, 80 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 1: and then you have literally doing nothing and just letting 81 00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 1: your kids run about. There is a medium and where 82 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 1: you are still controlling your kids. Yeah, no is over here, 83 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 1: not the great the gray, the median of not hitting 84 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,640 Speaker 1: your children and not doing nothing, but like having a 85 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 1: little bit of control of your kids, because I think 86 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:17,240 Speaker 1: a certain amount of control is necessary, especially making sure 87 00:04:17,279 --> 00:04:20,440 Speaker 1: that they're being safe. Like for example, if your kid 88 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:22,040 Speaker 1: was better run in the street, you need to grab 89 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 1: them or need to yell at them and be like 90 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:25,760 Speaker 1: don't run in the street because you might get, you know, 91 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:29,240 Speaker 1: hit by a car. So that's my thoughts on parenting. Okay, 92 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,919 Speaker 1: well a lot of people. The thing is that I 93 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 1: think that a lot of people who were spanked as 94 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:37,720 Speaker 1: kids think that they turned out okay, which is not 95 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 1: to say that they didn't on the grand scheme of things, 96 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:45,160 Speaker 1: but people have internalized problems that they're still dealing with. 97 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,839 Speaker 1: Like all parenting gives you a certain level like there's 98 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:52,359 Speaker 1: there's gonna you're gonna you know, parents aren't perfect, and 99 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: there's always gonna be a certain amount of mistakes that 100 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,360 Speaker 1: you have when you're raising a child. But yeah, I 101 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 1: think I think you you turn out okay, but you 102 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 1: still there's still you were affected in some. 103 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:06,120 Speaker 2: Way where you were hurt. Yeah. Also, I hope we 104 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,839 Speaker 2: don't get demonetized on you, just like you kept saying 105 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,920 Speaker 2: hitting kids, and I'm like, ohl about. 106 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:16,800 Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, well maybe you can blurt beep out. Actually 107 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:22,200 Speaker 1: I feel like if you beep it out, it'll bleeping 108 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:27,680 Speaker 1: kids kids deep Maybe I don't know. I feel like 109 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 1: I don't know. 110 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,520 Speaker 2: So I realized percent of people were spanked and turned 111 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:34,320 Speaker 2: down okay, yeah, but you did. 112 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 1: Not did you just really turn okay? Jolly Toaster says, 113 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:41,159 Speaker 1: I turned out okay in spite. I think that's the thing. 114 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,880 Speaker 1: It's like you you work through it. It's not a 115 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,480 Speaker 1: good thing, but you can get through it, but you 116 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,880 Speaker 1: still there are still effects to it. So I realized 117 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:51,719 Speaker 1: this behavior was not going to stop, and my husband 118 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,920 Speaker 1: and I told them they need to find a hotel 119 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,040 Speaker 1: or go home. Even though we had planned for them 120 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,480 Speaker 1: to stay a full week, we couldn't handle more than 121 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,040 Speaker 1: two days because of the gentle parenting. I told her 122 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 1: the gentle parenting is going to cause her kids to 123 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 1: have a very hard life and rude awakening someday, probably 124 00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:11,599 Speaker 1: even jail time. She argued back and really lost it 125 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:14,800 Speaker 1: when I told her this hippy dippy gentle parenting crap 126 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:17,360 Speaker 1: is a scam and will ruin your kid's life, which 127 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 1: I regret now but boiled over in the moment. Now 128 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 1: she won't speak to me, and our mom says I'm 129 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 1: in the wrong for kicking them out when they planned 130 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 1: on staying longer. Am I the jerk? And there are 131 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:33,360 Speaker 1: some relevant comments and an update, But what do you think, Riley? 132 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 1: Is Opie the jerk? 133 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,719 Speaker 2: No, it's your house, your rules. Yeah, those kids were 134 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:41,599 Speaker 2: destroying your house. 135 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:44,520 Speaker 1: They were literally destroying and abusing your. 136 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 2: Dog, and you were trying to like be like hey, 137 00:06:47,279 --> 00:06:49,280 Speaker 2: like not you try to be the cool nd being 138 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:52,280 Speaker 2: like hey, it's not cool that you're doing this. Nobody listened. Yeah, 139 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:53,480 Speaker 2: the right you can't gentle. 140 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,520 Speaker 1: Parent your sister. I think Op is not the a 141 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:58,880 Speaker 1: hole they Yeah, her house is being messed up, and 142 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 1: I think that her O. Her sister has a right 143 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 1: to parent her kids however she wants. But if that 144 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:09,760 Speaker 1: right impedes on Op's house and like living situation, mm hmm, 145 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 1: that's where she can draw the line and say I 146 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 1: don't want you in my house. You can do whatever 147 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 1: you want, you know, you comparent your kids how you want, 148 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 1: but not in my house. But let's get into these 149 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,800 Speaker 1: relevant comments. So one commoner says it would have worked 150 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:25,200 Speaker 1: way better than using violence and shouting. Most chronic negative 151 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:28,600 Speaker 1: childhood behaviors are the direct result of the parenting techniques 152 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,960 Speaker 1: of physical and verbal abuse slash domination. Edit. What you 153 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,560 Speaker 1: did with their children was in fact gentle parenting. If 154 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,880 Speaker 1: they can't behave with the dog, then you remove the 155 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,880 Speaker 1: dog from them. What you did to your sister was 156 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:42,200 Speaker 1: also gentle parenting. It's about having boundaries. It sounds like 157 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 1: she has none with their children, and that is as 158 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 1: bad or worse than abusive parenting. And OPI responds, I 159 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,600 Speaker 1: never used violence towards my child, and I should have 160 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,560 Speaker 1: said raised voice instead of yell, because that is more 161 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,560 Speaker 1: the point I was trying to get across. It's not 162 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 1: realistic to expect a kid to only be exposed to 163 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 1: a super hundred percent of the time and then be 164 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 1: able to deal with a non calm tone in the 165 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,920 Speaker 1: real world when they're grown. There are definitely circumstances where 166 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:11,160 Speaker 1: a raised voice is appropriate. If you don't agree, then 167 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:13,960 Speaker 1: that's okay. But I guess you're a monk and there 168 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 1: is an update. But let's read some of your comments. 169 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:21,160 Speaker 1: Titanius says gentle parenting does not mean letting your kids 170 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:24,320 Speaker 1: destroy things. Too many people focus on the gentle and 171 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 1: skip the parenting wards bars certifiably genses I might have 172 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,520 Speaker 1: turned out okay if I was just spanked as a kid. 173 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:35,000 Speaker 1: What happened to me? I don't wish on any pity. 174 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,559 Speaker 1: I don't spank my kids. We talk and they get 175 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:40,640 Speaker 1: disciplined accordingly. That's the thing. Talking to your kids and 176 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:45,080 Speaker 1: explaining the consequences and explaining why they're being punished is 177 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:48,160 Speaker 1: so much better than just you know, what's another way 178 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:52,360 Speaker 1: I could say than hitting then using physical getting physical 179 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:52,960 Speaker 1: with your kids. 180 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,719 Speaker 2: I don't know, Like I was spanked and they got 181 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:56,880 Speaker 2: a point across. I feel like there are some things 182 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,560 Speaker 2: you need to be spanked for until you're five. I 183 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:02,559 Speaker 2: feel like if you're spaking after five, well it's a problem. 184 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 2: But then wals, it's I'm just gonna do wall sit. 185 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,920 Speaker 1: I think there's also a level. I mean, I would 186 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:10,560 Speaker 1: I think our parents generation and older have different ideas 187 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:13,079 Speaker 1: of parenting, and that's not they were raised that way. 188 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:16,400 Speaker 1: And I think that we as we learn generationally, I 189 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,679 Speaker 1: think we learn better ways to parent, Which doesn't mean 190 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:20,680 Speaker 1: that our parents are bad people. It just means that 191 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,880 Speaker 1: we're learning as we grow. Like obviously, people in the 192 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 1: eighteen hundreds had completely different parenting styles than we do now, 193 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 1: and those and now we can look back on those 194 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,680 Speaker 1: and we're like, wow, they sent their kids to work 195 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 1: in minds. Yeah yeah, and so industrial revolution and now 196 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,840 Speaker 1: we would look back and be like that's crazy, but 197 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:44,720 Speaker 1: they were working with but yeah, they were working with 198 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:48,040 Speaker 1: the tools that they knew, you know, So I don't 199 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:51,480 Speaker 1: want to say, like your no one's parents are you know, 200 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 1: if you love your parents, you can still love them 201 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,280 Speaker 1: regardless of how they raised you, but you can also 202 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 1: still learn from how they raised you. 203 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I'm gonna I told them, like, 204 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,520 Speaker 2: I have a kid before I can do anything. 205 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:06,079 Speaker 1: I think. I think that's I yeah, that's actually, I mean, 206 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:09,200 Speaker 1: that's absolutely true. I don't I don't have kids, so I. 207 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:12,400 Speaker 2: Can't say we'll call trauma with walls or maybe they'll 208 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:13,000 Speaker 2: like them a lot. 209 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe they'll be super super buff. 210 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:19,360 Speaker 2: Oh no, I'll figure it out. We'll see and they 211 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,480 Speaker 2: go to therapy. Then I did something. 212 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:26,680 Speaker 1: Just support therapy, Like, you're super supportive of therapy, but 213 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:29,200 Speaker 1: you're also traumatizing me. You're like, no, no, no, I 214 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,240 Speaker 1: know that I'm sending you to therapy, but I'm so like, 215 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:35,160 Speaker 1: I love therapy. Yeah, Matt hatter Gall, thank you for 216 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:36,720 Speaker 1: the ten bucks. I think it would do the same 217 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,559 Speaker 1: as my mom did when I was a kid. When 218 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:41,040 Speaker 1: I was in trouble, she would take everything my stereo, 219 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:44,640 Speaker 1: CD player and no TV. Hmm, yeah, I think there. 220 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,600 Speaker 1: I actually sometimes when I get would I would get 221 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 1: in trouble. My parents would take my books away from 222 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:53,080 Speaker 1: me because I would read too much. Yeah, let's get 223 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:58,920 Speaker 1: into this update though next day, WHOA, I read the comments. 224 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:02,240 Speaker 1: Sounds like my sister's version of gentle parenting is not 225 00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:08,920 Speaker 1: actually gentle parenting neglecting. However, the real gentle parenting lots 226 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:11,600 Speaker 1: of you are describing still sounds like an odd choice 227 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 1: of parenting in my view, And if it was around 228 00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:15,800 Speaker 1: when my kids were little, I can't imagine it would 229 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:18,080 Speaker 1: have worked on them. I guess this new generation of 230 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,559 Speaker 1: parents are just doing things differently. Not sure how that's 231 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,679 Speaker 1: going to work out in the long run for society. 232 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 1: But to each thrown, the world isn't gentle. How are 233 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: all of these gentle parented kids going to deal with 234 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 1: the real world when someone yells at them or does 235 00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:33,440 Speaker 1: any of the things gentle parenting doesn't include. If our 236 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,240 Speaker 1: world was a perfect utopia, then gentle parenting sounds great. 237 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 1: But it isn't, and it's not realistic to me. I 238 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,200 Speaker 1: don't plan on ever inviting my sister over to stay 239 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:43,559 Speaker 1: at my home again if her kids will be with her, 240 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,880 Speaker 1: that is, if she ever decides to even speak to 241 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 1: me again, which even after all of this, I do 242 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 1: hope our relationship is mended because she's still my sister, 243 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,680 Speaker 1: just can't deal with her kids. And there are some 244 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 1: relevant comments and an update. 245 00:11:56,920 --> 00:12:01,200 Speaker 2: I have some cousins that are like this, actually like like, 246 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:04,000 Speaker 2: the parents are very hands off and they're crazy. Yeah 247 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 2: not good. 248 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:06,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the thing. I think if you're going a 249 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,839 Speaker 1: gentle parent, you can't be fully hands off and just 250 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,520 Speaker 1: let your kids run them off. I think there needs 251 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,760 Speaker 1: to be some level of a control. But I do 252 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 1: I think I do a little bit disagree with Op's 253 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 1: take on on gentle parenting of just like, oh, well, 254 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,880 Speaker 1: the world's you know, harsh, and you need to prepare 255 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 1: your kids for that. I think that teaching them how 256 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:28,520 Speaker 1: to have communicate and how to have an argument or 257 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:32,640 Speaker 1: discussion without yelling is I think that is preparing them 258 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:34,720 Speaker 1: for the world and preparing them to be able to 259 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 1: deal with things without getting stressed and without going you know, yeah, 260 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:39,240 Speaker 1: a little bit crazy. 261 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:43,360 Speaker 2: Parenting sounds fun, but the disciplined part I don't like 262 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:44,680 Speaker 2: confrontation me neither. 263 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,640 Speaker 1: I like, I've done a lot of babysitting and I 264 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:51,280 Speaker 1: think I'm able to, you know, kind of control the kids. 265 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:54,800 Speaker 1: And honestly, I guess I have done gentle you know, 266 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,800 Speaker 1: babysitting in a way yeah, where it's like, hey, you 267 00:12:57,840 --> 00:12:59,880 Speaker 1: can't do that and if you know, if you're going 268 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,719 Speaker 1: to behave this way, we're gonna have to sit down 269 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,080 Speaker 1: and you're gonna have to stand the other room. And 270 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:07,320 Speaker 1: so it's like that because I feel like babysitting is 271 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:11,280 Speaker 1: actually a great foray into parenting because you're not allowed 272 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:14,960 Speaker 1: to punish kids harshly because they're not your kids. I 273 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:18,560 Speaker 1: mean why would I. Oh, so you're like learning how 274 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,880 Speaker 1: to deal with kids in a way that is more gentle. 275 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:26,200 Speaker 1: What is the poll? Who would you let babysit your child? 276 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 2: Do you guys have experience? 277 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:30,679 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we both have experiences. 278 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:31,840 Speaker 2: That doesn't really count. 279 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:33,840 Speaker 1: You should put you you should have put your name 280 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:34,199 Speaker 1: up there. 281 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:36,760 Speaker 2: But like, I don't really babysit them. They're like, hey, 282 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,160 Speaker 2: can you get me this? And I'm like no, Hey 283 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:40,079 Speaker 2: can you give me a drink? No? 284 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,480 Speaker 1: He used to you can figure that out, Sam. One 285 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:44,959 Speaker 1: time I think I talked about this, but one time, 286 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,960 Speaker 1: Sam babysit, babysat. 287 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:49,160 Speaker 2: For me and like you or for you? 288 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:53,240 Speaker 1: Sorry me babysat man okay, and uh my parents were 289 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,160 Speaker 1: gone and I was like, Sam, can you make me dinner? 290 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,480 Speaker 1: And Sam was like he was a teenager and he 291 00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 1: was like yeah, sure, and he put a bowl of 292 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,080 Speaker 1: cereal in front of me and I was like, that's 293 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:06,280 Speaker 1: a gutter. Yeah, okay, let's get into this update. Oh 294 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:10,440 Speaker 1: we know relevant comments. Sorry. Commenter one says, hi, gentle 295 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:13,920 Speaker 1: parent here, this is not gentle parenting. You are still 296 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,560 Speaker 1: allowed to say no in gentle parenting, and part of 297 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,880 Speaker 1: me feels this is fake with how weirdly focused you 298 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:22,400 Speaker 1: are in gentle parenting itself instead of your sister's weird behavior. 299 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,640 Speaker 1: Opie says, I'm so focused on gentle parenting because it's 300 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,960 Speaker 1: solely to blame for the downfall of mine and my 301 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:31,680 Speaker 1: sister's relationship, which I have always cherished. I am focused 302 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:34,920 Speaker 1: on my sister's behavior, but her behavior is being driven 303 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,360 Speaker 1: by her parenting style. She completely changed as a person 304 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 1: when she implemented this parenting style. And then another commenter 305 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,080 Speaker 1: says the dog thing. Sure, I'd be annoyed at your 306 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 1: sister for not intervening, but all of the things you 307 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:50,120 Speaker 1: described are regular kid things for their age's tvh what 308 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,640 Speaker 1: and yelling at your sister and kicking them out after 309 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:55,040 Speaker 1: two days over it is a big reaction if you 310 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:58,200 Speaker 1: consider pulling flowers and drawing on the walls destroying your home. 311 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,720 Speaker 1: I don't know what to tell you ever have kids 312 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 1: of your own? I guess what, what kind of one? 313 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:07,840 Speaker 1: Opie already had kids. We've already established that Opie had 314 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:11,600 Speaker 1: grown children and two That is destroying your home. And 315 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:14,360 Speaker 1: the reason that she kicked her family out was because 316 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:17,280 Speaker 1: she asked her sister to parent her children and tell 317 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,840 Speaker 1: them not to do it, and she wouldn't. I hate 318 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:23,160 Speaker 1: this commoner. Ye down, vote vote vote. 319 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,080 Speaker 2: They came from Redpool and if they just like let 320 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:27,240 Speaker 2: the kids do whatever, they wouldn't have a house. 321 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:31,480 Speaker 1: Yeah. Also, everything would be broken if you're staying with someone. 322 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:34,280 Speaker 1: If someone came to our house m and like was 323 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:37,720 Speaker 1: staying with us and started drawing on the walls and like, 324 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,040 Speaker 1: you know, messing up our garden, Yeah, I'd be like, 325 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,240 Speaker 1: what are you doing? Stop or leave? 326 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:46,440 Speaker 2: Yeah? Like if Emily was just like drawing on the walls. 327 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:50,600 Speaker 1: Yeah stop please please? 328 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:52,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, they would be invited again. 329 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:53,920 Speaker 1: No, they wouldn't. 330 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,480 Speaker 2: We had a conversation at the house. Like certain people 331 00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:58,640 Speaker 2: were like, ah, we were really a friend, but they weren't. 332 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,680 Speaker 2: They weren't doing that stuff. They were just conversationally doing 333 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:05,320 Speaker 2: They were like in conversations, drawn on the walls, Yeah 334 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:05,960 Speaker 2: what are you doing? 335 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,520 Speaker 1: What do you do? And stuff? Drawing on my walls 336 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:11,480 Speaker 1: conversationally get out of Yeah yeah. Jayce says they were 337 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: hitting the dog, drawing on the walls, throwing rocks at 338 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,240 Speaker 1: Opie's car. That's not normal, but child behavior because they 339 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:21,440 Speaker 1: should know better, per their mother parenting them. I absolutely agree. 340 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,720 Speaker 1: I'm so yeah, that's I don't know what this coming 341 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,360 Speaker 1: is like on, that's not normal kid behavior. 342 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:27,560 Speaker 2: Pill that's what they're on. 343 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:31,000 Speaker 1: I never I don't think I've ever drawn on walls. 344 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:34,080 Speaker 1: I've never hit a dog, and I've never thrown rocks 345 00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:37,880 Speaker 1: at a car. What come on? No? Like truly never 346 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:41,600 Speaker 1: done a rocket a car a car? No? Why would 347 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:42,520 Speaker 1: I throw a rocket a car? 348 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:43,280 Speaker 2: I did? 349 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:45,200 Speaker 1: That makes sense? 350 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 2: I like, I like doing this when I was five 351 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:50,760 Speaker 2: and it went accidentally, presumably, But I mean I hit 352 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,160 Speaker 2: a car, and I've hit a dog before I was little, 353 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,280 Speaker 2: it was like five or three. 354 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:55,520 Speaker 1: I don't know, I've never hit a dog. 355 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,480 Speaker 2: Was the only drawn walls. You never drawn a wall? 356 00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,960 Speaker 1: No, were you ever a kid? How was your childhood? 357 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:05,120 Speaker 1: I had a lovely childhood. I think I personally really 358 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:05,960 Speaker 1: enjoyed my childhood. 359 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,800 Speaker 2: What do you guys think about what would you raise 360 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:09,560 Speaker 2: Sofia's childhood from what you've heard. 361 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:12,000 Speaker 1: From what you've heard I had, it was very much 362 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 1: like outdoors and like creative and like theater based. Like 363 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,840 Speaker 1: we were always telling my parents were always telling me stories, 364 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:23,400 Speaker 1: and it was a lot of that. And we were 365 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,480 Speaker 1: surrounded by artists all the time because my dad was 366 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,919 Speaker 1: in like the he started as an actor and then 367 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,480 Speaker 1: you know, was in the state in that, and my 368 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,000 Speaker 1: mom was an architects. So it was a lot of that, 369 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,760 Speaker 1: like very creative people. So I really enjoyed my. 370 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:38,920 Speaker 2: Child that's good. Good. I worked a lot my childhood, 371 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:40,359 Speaker 2: but I got paid. Dude. 372 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:43,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, I was doing a lot of theaters, so I 373 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,320 Speaker 1: didn't work until uh, well, I was doing a lot 374 00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:46,880 Speaker 1: of babysitting actually, so that was my job. 375 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:47,480 Speaker 2: Oh nice. 376 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:51,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, let's get into the update word. Two days from 377 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:55,040 Speaker 1: the original post, someone either sent my sister my original 378 00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:57,719 Speaker 1: post or she's on Reddit herself and she saw it. 379 00:17:57,840 --> 00:17:59,720 Speaker 1: She texted me a link to my post and said 380 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:03,440 Speaker 1: she can I can't believe I'm airing our family drama online. 381 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,760 Speaker 1: She told me she was leaning towards working out our differences, 382 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,160 Speaker 1: but now that I've posted it on here, she's done 383 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:12,040 Speaker 1: and blocked me. How do you find it? Since I 384 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:14,600 Speaker 1: can't reach her by phone, I'll address her on here 385 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:19,000 Speaker 1: since she's clearly reading this, Alison, Is this her real name? 386 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:19,879 Speaker 2: Docs heir? 387 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:24,000 Speaker 1: Alison. I do love you and have always cherished our relationship, 388 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,520 Speaker 1: but if you feel like you're done, then that's okay. 389 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:30,359 Speaker 1: I can't change your mind. Look at me talking about feelings. 390 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,680 Speaker 1: You should be proud. At this point, I'm pretty done too. 391 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:37,040 Speaker 1: So here it is. You are family, but that doesn't 392 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:40,000 Speaker 1: mean I'm gonna be a pushover and allow your children 393 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:43,760 Speaker 1: to behave the way they did in my home, especially 394 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:47,960 Speaker 1: pulling Bella the dog's hair and smacking her in the face. 395 00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:52,359 Speaker 1: That was animal abuse. It was all completely unacceptable, and 396 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,560 Speaker 1: I don't understand how you'll allow them to behave the 397 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:58,679 Speaker 1: way you and Steven allow them to. Some people have 398 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,040 Speaker 1: suggested I send you a bill for the damage your 399 00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:03,680 Speaker 1: kids cause, but I'm not gonna do that. I'll pay 400 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,200 Speaker 1: for the repairs, but only because I know this will 401 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,640 Speaker 1: never happen again, since your kids are not welcome back 402 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:14,560 Speaker 1: in my home unless you drastically change your parenting style 403 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:19,600 Speaker 1: and finally implement legitimate discipline. I'm still not saying you 404 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,360 Speaker 1: need to physically discipline them, but you need to do 405 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,840 Speaker 1: some form of actual discipline before it's too late and 406 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:29,840 Speaker 1: their future is ruined. Oh man, I don't understand why 407 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:33,080 Speaker 1: you have decided to gentle parent or whatever form of 408 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:36,920 Speaker 1: gentle parenting is, and it has changed you as a person. 409 00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:38,879 Speaker 1: You don't act the way you used to, and now 410 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,520 Speaker 1: you're offended by everything and don't agree with the way 411 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,720 Speaker 1: anyone else does anything. I just don't understand what happened. 412 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,600 Speaker 1: I encourage you to look at some of these comments 413 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 1: on the original post to prove to you ninety nine 414 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,720 Speaker 1: percent of people would have done exactly what I did 415 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,119 Speaker 1: in this situation, and I was not just being harsh. 416 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:59,240 Speaker 1: There has to be consequences for bad behavior or else 417 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,639 Speaker 1: you're doing your k It's a disservice, which is not 418 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:04,560 Speaker 1: kind on your part. When you read the comments, some 419 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,880 Speaker 1: have good parenting advice and others are harsh, but hey, 420 00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:14,000 Speaker 1: that's life. It's not so gentle boom, what a clapback? Get? 421 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:18,880 Speaker 1: What a clapback? Wait? Who? When the who? In the babysitting? Nice? 422 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:21,520 Speaker 1: I truly think John would be a great babysitter. 423 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,240 Speaker 2: Though, me too, Yeah I would. 424 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:27,280 Speaker 1: Yeah. Uh what you agreed to that? You're like? I 425 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,680 Speaker 1: just said yeah, and then I realized what she said. 426 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:33,040 Speaker 1: Wow wee Opie really dug into her sister. 427 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:35,679 Speaker 2: Oh let's go what. Let's hop into it. 428 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,640 Speaker 1: Let's hop into her. Let's get into these robin comments. 429 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,840 Speaker 1: Commenter says this doesn't sit right with me. I'd suggest 430 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:44,000 Speaker 1: having a talk or some sorts, and Opie says, she 431 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,639 Speaker 1: blocked me, and I can't call or text her. What 432 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:49,520 Speaker 1: do you suggest I do? Send her a note via pigeon? 433 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 1: Commenter says, do you have any mutual friends who you 434 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:55,320 Speaker 1: can send messages to? And Opie says, I am not 435 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:58,560 Speaker 1: getting any of our mutual connections involved in this drama. 436 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,800 Speaker 1: If she blocked me, she clear really doesn't want to 437 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:05,240 Speaker 1: talk anyway. And there is an update four days later. 438 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:10,720 Speaker 2: This sucks because my mom, Yeah and my aunt had 439 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:12,000 Speaker 2: a falling out for a little bit. 440 00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:15,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it was pretty bay. 441 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:16,800 Speaker 2: Yes, this is what it feels, you know, I've. 442 00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,880 Speaker 1: Had like family stuff like that as well, and it's 443 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,959 Speaker 1: it's it's also I think it's funny when you're not 444 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,560 Speaker 1: at all involved in it. Yeah, and your parents are 445 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:26,280 Speaker 1: just like, yeah, we're not talking to them anymore, and. 446 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:27,800 Speaker 2: I'm like gotta pick sides. 447 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like, okay, all right, I guess we're not 448 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:34,200 Speaker 1: seeing them at the family gatherings. Yeah. 449 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,360 Speaker 2: It was about kids too, and parenting styles. 450 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, it was sad. It was. It was about different 451 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,040 Speaker 1: parenting styles as well. 452 00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, because like one of my they will 453 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,679 Speaker 2: never she will never see this, Okay. One of my 454 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,760 Speaker 2: cousins was biting my brothers and my mom told my 455 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,680 Speaker 2: brother that if they bite them, you need to punch them. 456 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I mean because yeah. 457 00:21:55,320 --> 00:22:00,359 Speaker 2: So, like something happened at Thanksgiving and my aunt reeked 458 00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:02,359 Speaker 2: out and then my mom got mad at her and 459 00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:04,840 Speaker 2: showed her out, and then they didn't talk for like 460 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:07,119 Speaker 2: a year. But then COVID happened and they had to 461 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:08,439 Speaker 2: go to my both of them had to go to 462 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,720 Speaker 2: my grandma's house because that's where the internet was, and 463 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:11,600 Speaker 2: they became friends. 464 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:15,399 Speaker 1: Okay, okay, yeah, I was like, as usually, you know, 465 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,200 Speaker 1: coming back together at some. 466 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:19,720 Speaker 2: Point it was good. It was good. But yeah, they're 467 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,240 Speaker 2: still like with that kid, I don't know, it's hard 468 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,480 Speaker 2: with that, With that cousin. I tried to just be 469 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,639 Speaker 2: nice to him, like, hey, what's up. How's life? 470 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, hey, what's up? 471 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:29,000 Speaker 2: That's life. 472 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:31,000 Speaker 1: Keep you, keep your mouth to yourself. 473 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:34,240 Speaker 2: Keep you. 474 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:37,239 Speaker 1: You're like going for a hell, You're like, don't bite me, 475 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:39,560 Speaker 1: don't bite me, don't bite me. Let's get into this 476 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:43,040 Speaker 1: next bit, this next update. Four days later. I love 477 00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:46,440 Speaker 1: that we're getting like real time. Yeah, this is June eighteenth. Yeah, 478 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:49,919 Speaker 1: it's like June eighteenth. Wow, this was last week. A 479 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:53,080 Speaker 1: lot could happen in a week. June's June has been. 480 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,560 Speaker 2: Jude's not here anymore. It's gonna be gone by the 481 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:55,800 Speaker 2: end of this. 482 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:59,000 Speaker 1: But June's been like a full month. I think maybe 483 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:00,040 Speaker 1: because I was producing all. 484 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:03,240 Speaker 2: But like, whoa, now you's gone b so quick to me? 485 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,600 Speaker 1: Oh damn for me. It's I don't know if it's 486 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:08,000 Speaker 1: been quick or not, but it's just been like has. 487 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,760 Speaker 2: It been dragon, No, It's just is so full. 488 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,280 Speaker 1: It's so bit Like this is I think the busiest 489 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:17,080 Speaker 1: month because I started improv, I was producing. We've been 490 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:19,120 Speaker 1: doing a lot of like throwing parties, and then we're 491 00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:21,080 Speaker 1: going to Vigcon and then it's my birthday. 492 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,240 Speaker 2: I've been meeting people, been meeting people. 493 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 1: It's a lot. Let's get into this update. Allison not 494 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:36,639 Speaker 1: her real name, Okay drag her finally reached out to 495 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,199 Speaker 1: me to talk. She read some of the comments and 496 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,120 Speaker 1: sees that most people think she's neglecting her kids due 497 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:45,399 Speaker 1: to her parenting choices. She asked, if I agree, we 498 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,240 Speaker 1: already know. I told her I think there could definitely 499 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,520 Speaker 1: be some changes in the way she parents. She said 500 00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:53,760 Speaker 1: she tried gentle parenting but realizes now that she's gotten 501 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:56,399 Speaker 1: it wrong. I asked her what her plan moving forward is, 502 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,639 Speaker 1: you apologize for the way your kids acted? Okay and 503 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,960 Speaker 1: sad her and her husband have lost friends over the 504 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,800 Speaker 1: way her kids act because people don't want to be 505 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,159 Speaker 1: around them. She said that this whole ordeal has been 506 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,600 Speaker 1: a wake up call. Alison said she's going to try 507 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:12,000 Speaker 1: a different parenting style since gentle parenting didn't pan out 508 00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:14,040 Speaker 1: very well for her kids. She said she's going to 509 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:18,440 Speaker 1: enforce punishment and consequences, but still nor corporal punishment, which 510 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:20,200 Speaker 1: I think is a good idea, I said, I think 511 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,720 Speaker 1: that's great. Her worry is that the kids won't take 512 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,399 Speaker 1: it well and it will cause even more problems. I 513 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,040 Speaker 1: think there probably will be an adjustment period where it 514 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,520 Speaker 1: will be really hard to get them on that page. 515 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:32,000 Speaker 1: But I think you still. 516 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:36,280 Speaker 2: Have to do it like weaning yeah yeah, breast milk. 517 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:40,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, or like off the pacifier. It takes a bit, 518 00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:42,439 Speaker 1: they cry and they whine about it, but you know, 519 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:43,840 Speaker 1: like eventually they. 520 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:48,360 Speaker 2: Just love bubbles. What a lesson learned on Reddit what Yeah. 521 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:52,080 Speaker 1: Honestly props to the sister she's getting it. Apparently her 522 00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:55,639 Speaker 1: husband was never in agreement with the gentle parenting and 523 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,359 Speaker 1: it has also caused marital issues due to the fact 524 00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,760 Speaker 1: they don't see eye to eye. Now now her husband 525 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,280 Speaker 1: is happy, she's finally come around to some form of 526 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:07,080 Speaker 1: consequences and punishment for their kids. 527 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:07,879 Speaker 2: Let's go. 528 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:11,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm still not happy about what her kids did 529 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:14,040 Speaker 1: to my house and dog, but the fact she's willing 530 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,720 Speaker 1: to change her parenting style so that doesn't happen again 531 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:20,439 Speaker 1: makes me feel a lot less angry. And yes, I 532 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,440 Speaker 1: got Allison's permission to post this update. We really were 533 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,800 Speaker 1: able to work things out. She really is a good person, 534 00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 1: just had to lapse in judgment in parenting. Edit. Since 535 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,240 Speaker 1: this will be the last update on this issue by me, 536 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,520 Speaker 1: want to say something about the permissive parenting versus gentle 537 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:37,640 Speaker 1: parenting style. A lot of people commented about gentle parenting 538 00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:40,640 Speaker 1: how everyone is explaining the comments sounds like the kid 539 00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:43,320 Speaker 1: does something wrong, then the parent asks how they feel, 540 00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:46,720 Speaker 1: then directs them to a different task or activity, maybe 541 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,320 Speaker 1: telling them no, but maybe doesn't, and they call the 542 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,919 Speaker 1: redirection to a different task slash activity the discipline or 543 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:56,440 Speaker 1: natural consequent part of gentle parenting that is the exact 544 00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:59,480 Speaker 1: same thing as permissive parenting because there's still no legitimate 545 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:02,800 Speaker 1: punishment or consequence. I'll agree that my sister wasn't doing 546 00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:05,720 Speaker 1: the form of gentle parenting everyone was describing, because all 547 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:07,720 Speaker 1: she did was talk about feelings and left out the 548 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:10,520 Speaker 1: redirection and the possible no, don't do that. But even 549 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,919 Speaker 1: after reading all the comments, permissive parenting and gentle parenting 550 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:17,160 Speaker 1: sound very similar, if not the exact same. If kids 551 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,879 Speaker 1: are taught redirection is what happens when they do something wrong, 552 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,880 Speaker 1: They're going to be completely shocked and confused when their 553 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:27,440 Speaker 1: real consequences and punishment and not just redirection or natural consequences. 554 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:29,639 Speaker 1: In the real world, if they grow up and steal 555 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,320 Speaker 1: the car, the police arrest them, send them to jail, 556 00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:34,400 Speaker 1: and make them pay a fine, they will think it's 557 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:37,280 Speaker 1: an incredibly harsh punishment and be shocked because all they 558 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:40,000 Speaker 1: were expecting was a natural consequence of returning the car 559 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:42,040 Speaker 1: to the owner and then moving on with their day. 560 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,560 Speaker 1: And then there are some more comments talking about parenting, 561 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:48,840 Speaker 1: but we're just gonna end that story there. My final thoughts, 562 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:52,080 Speaker 1: I'm I'm very happy that they worked it out too, Yeah, 563 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,800 Speaker 1: and that she's realizing that her style of parenting, the 564 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:58,680 Speaker 1: sister style of parenting, wasn't effective, because that's Yeah, we 565 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:02,000 Speaker 1: love a lesson learn. We don't see it often, honest. Actually, 566 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,280 Speaker 1: yesterday we had a lot of really wholesome stories. So 567 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:05,120 Speaker 1: I'm glad. I'm glad. 568 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:06,480 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, on that train. 569 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. It's just everyone's feeling good on 570 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:14,919 Speaker 1: Reddit these days. Oh good, surprisingly, Yeah, everyone's something's in 571 00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:16,560 Speaker 1: the air, everyone's doing well. 572 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:17,200 Speaker 2: Good. 573 00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:20,119 Speaker 1: I'm just glad these sisters were able to still be sisters. 574 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:20,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. 575 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,560 Speaker 1: They they worked it out. They figured they gentle parented 576 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:26,199 Speaker 1: each other into into figuring out the solution. 577 00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:30,359 Speaker 2: I think gentle parenting is about to be my moist word. 578 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,280 Speaker 1: Oh you don't like you know, I don't know. 579 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,240 Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know if it flows nice parenting. 580 00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,439 Speaker 1: I think it has certain connotations for people, But I 581 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:41,120 Speaker 1: think I think for me. 582 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:42,919 Speaker 2: What about hardcore parenting? 583 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,440 Speaker 1: Hardcore where they have to do squats? 584 00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:49,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, they stay hard and they just they do something wrong. 585 00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:51,360 Speaker 1: You shoot them with a nerve gun and make them 586 00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:55,160 Speaker 1: do tempush dude, guys, guys nice? 587 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:56,000 Speaker 2: No. 588 00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:59,960 Speaker 1: I think I think parenting my my vision for my parents, 589 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:02,520 Speaker 1: which you know, can be different for everyone. I think 590 00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:06,760 Speaker 1: currently I would say that I would want stages of parenting. 591 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:09,280 Speaker 1: So I think when like, we talk a lot about 592 00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,199 Speaker 1: how to tell kids about grown up things, and we 593 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:15,200 Speaker 1: have age appropriate I think there are age appropriate ways 594 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:18,199 Speaker 1: of punishing a child. So, for example, I think the 595 00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:21,160 Speaker 1: redirection thing could work really well for a kid who's 596 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,480 Speaker 1: like four and under, who doesn't really understand why they're 597 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,760 Speaker 1: being punished because they don't understand the world yet. So 598 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:29,679 Speaker 1: I think there you could be like, hey, let's not 599 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,600 Speaker 1: do that, why are we doing that, Let's do something else. 600 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,040 Speaker 1: But when they're you know, maybe five or six, they 601 00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:37,960 Speaker 1: understand that their actions have consequences. They understand that they're 602 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,120 Speaker 1: hurting someone. So at that point you could be like, hey, 603 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:42,920 Speaker 1: that really hurts someone if you do that again, or 604 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:44,640 Speaker 1: maybe if they do that now, you're gonna have to 605 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,360 Speaker 1: have time out, you're gonna have to clean up that mess. 606 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,480 Speaker 1: Stuff like that, where they're getting consequences based off of 607 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:54,000 Speaker 1: their level of knowledge. I think that's my parentings. I'm 608 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:58,760 Speaker 1: just going to read a book right out and I'm like, 609 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:02,120 Speaker 1: I just have to figure that out. Yeah, because I 610 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,680 Speaker 1: do want to be a parent. But if you love us, 611 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:06,320 Speaker 1: make sure to subscribe. 612 00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:08,600 Speaker 2: We love you and see you tomorrow.