WEBVTT - Hey Girlfriend! 0:00:00.720 --> 0:00:04.360 Welcome to Reasonably Shady, a production of The Black Effect 0:00:04.400 --> 0:00:19.960 Podcast Network and I Heart Radio. Hi, what's up? What's up? Okay, 0:00:20.000 --> 0:00:24.200 this is reasonably Shy. I am Gazelle Bryant. What's up? 0:00:24.239 --> 0:00:27.240 What's up? I am Robin Dixon. Thank you so much 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:31.280 for joining us for our third episode. Oh my gosh, 0:00:31.320 --> 0:00:33.120 I think we must be doing something right, Robin, it's 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:37.560 getting scary. We are. And guess what what? We pressed record? Yes, 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:43.160 and we are recording everything that we're saying. So last episode, um, yeah, 0:00:43.200 --> 0:00:46.080 we talked for like over ten minutes. And Robin because 0:00:46.120 --> 0:00:49.320 it's her job to press record, okay, fine, it might 0:00:49.360 --> 0:00:51.239 be mine. Who knows if that didn't press it. This 0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:55.000 is a collaborative effort. Okay, alright, alright, it takes two 0:00:55.480 --> 0:00:59.280 green eye bandits to press record, all right, now, yes 0:00:59.320 --> 0:01:01.760 it does. But guess what, we will never make that 0:01:02.880 --> 0:01:05.560 wrong mistake again. Oh no, because I was ready to quit, 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:08.280 like I was like, okay, my my podcast days are over. 0:01:09.640 --> 0:01:12.959 Oh gosh. All right, so we have a wonderful like 0:01:13.080 --> 0:01:16.920 we have a like explosive kind of episode tonight. Yes, 0:01:17.040 --> 0:01:20.120 this is a fun topic. I think I know you 0:01:20.120 --> 0:01:21.640 and I have a lot of input on it. I 0:01:21.640 --> 0:01:26.040 know our listeners are going to be right there with us, Yes, agreeing, 0:01:26.280 --> 0:01:29.640 having you know, the same shared experiences, all that good stuff. Yes, 0:01:29.680 --> 0:01:31.920 And the topic tonight is I don't have us tonight. 0:01:31.920 --> 0:01:35.520 But the topic for this episode is hey, girlfriend, we're 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:39.920 talking all things. Girlfriend. We're talking do we like them? 0:01:39.959 --> 0:01:43.480 Do we hate them? Do we need new friends? Um, 0:01:43.959 --> 0:01:46.959 we're getting into it. Can we get into the girlfriend scenario? Yes? 0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:49.120 Because you know what, it's so weird, like it doesn't 0:01:49.160 --> 0:01:52.880 matter how old we are. Yes, it's still like navigating 0:01:52.920 --> 0:01:55.840 the friendship world is still kind of awkward. You know, 0:01:56.080 --> 0:01:59.160 you find out that like, Okay, it doesn't matter how 0:01:59.160 --> 0:02:03.480 old we are, people still have issues and we still 0:02:03.480 --> 0:02:06.680 need to be sensitive towards them. Yes, yes, So but 0:02:06.760 --> 0:02:08.520 before we get into the episode, of course, we have 0:02:08.600 --> 0:02:18.800 our reasonably shady moment of the week. So I'm going 0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:24.359 to go first. And since the topic is about girlfriends friends, um, 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:26.280 this is going to be centered around that. So so 0:02:26.360 --> 0:02:31.200 my reasonably shady moment goes to myself of course. Um, 0:02:31.200 --> 0:02:35.840 and it's because I actually picked up the phone and 0:02:35.880 --> 0:02:39.400 called two of my friends, you know, like nowadays, like 0:02:39.480 --> 0:02:42.720 you know, we just text, you know, you might say, 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:45.400 you know, hey, girl, you look cute on on Instagram 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:48.280 or something, but like you don't really pick up the 0:02:48.320 --> 0:02:51.200 phone that much and talk to your friends these days, 0:02:51.280 --> 0:02:53.799 or certain ones are certain friends that talk all the time, 0:02:53.840 --> 0:02:57.520 Like you and I we talk all the time. So 0:02:57.760 --> 0:02:59.560 this is where the shady part comes in now, because 0:02:59.560 --> 0:03:01.440 I was fuse, you just pick up the phone call 0:03:01.440 --> 0:03:03.560 and your girlfriends. When when is the shade coming in? 0:03:04.120 --> 0:03:07.600 The shady part is it was like thirty seconds into 0:03:07.639 --> 0:03:09.720 the call and I'm like, so you know this is 0:03:09.720 --> 0:03:13.919 why I don't call because they was talking about nothing. 0:03:14.200 --> 0:03:17.600 They was just a wine and a complaining and it's like, 0:03:17.720 --> 0:03:21.520 oh God, now I know why I don't call or 0:03:21.560 --> 0:03:25.240 why I don't pick the phone up instantly. So you know, Okay, 0:03:26.400 --> 0:03:28.280 along those same lines, So you have some friends when 0:03:28.280 --> 0:03:29.799 they call, You're like, Okay, let me see what you want. 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:31.120 I'm gonna pick I'm gonna pick up because you know 0:03:31.200 --> 0:03:33.720 she's calling for a reason, or it's gonna be like 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:36.440 you know you're gonna have a good conversation. Okay, girl, 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:39.040 let's talk about this man bad man. I'm off. Then 0:03:39.080 --> 0:03:42.400 there's other friends that call and you're like, lord, what 0:03:42.440 --> 0:03:45.200 do shell? God? I don't got time. I can't do 0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:47.760 it right now. I'm cooking dinner. She's gonna distract me. 0:03:47.840 --> 0:03:50.120 I'm trying to like, no, this is this is a that. 0:03:50.560 --> 0:03:51.960 Those are the ones that you call when you're in 0:03:52.000 --> 0:03:55.080 the car, like when you're driving long distances and you're like, okay, 0:03:55.080 --> 0:03:57.160 who can I call and you're like, let me call 0:03:57.160 --> 0:03:58.520 her friend back. So I'm in the car, I call 0:03:58.560 --> 0:04:02.840 her back, okay, and I'm just like, why, so did 0:04:02.920 --> 0:04:04.760 you lie to her and making an excuse to get 0:04:04.800 --> 0:04:07.480 off the phone. No, and see that, and this is 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:09.200 the reasonable part. I am a good friend, and I 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:12.720 know sometimes my friends just want me to listen or 0:04:13.000 --> 0:04:14.400 you know, they just want to hear my voice, or 0:04:14.440 --> 0:04:16.599 they want to hear that I care. And I do care. 0:04:17.920 --> 0:04:21.640 But there's just the limit where I'm like, okay, enough, 0:04:21.839 --> 0:04:25.039 it's enough. Is enough for shady Giselle would have been like, girl, 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:27.760 oh my god, I gotta go. I got a flat tire, 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:31.960 Oh my god, I gotta go. It was actually when 0:04:32.000 --> 0:04:34.760 we went to um the music video that we were 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:38.000 at whole d that whole Okay, that was a good 0:04:38.000 --> 0:04:42.440 hour and a half. Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, alright, So 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:47.080 my reasonably shady. Moment of the week is um. Okay. 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:52.599 So I am a huge proponent of getting rid of 0:04:52.640 --> 0:04:56.280 this thing called COVID. So I got myself a little 0:04:56.279 --> 0:04:59.760 appointment and I got my first shot. My vaccine is 0:04:59.800 --> 0:05:03.760 in my arm, and I am mad at the entire world. 0:05:04.040 --> 0:05:09.240 Why because everybody says, so, your arm is gonna hurt 0:05:09.279 --> 0:05:11.920 a little bit, but you're gonna be good. No, just 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:16.040 that was flat on her back. Okay, I was. I 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:19.080 was on my I had chills fever, I was shaking. 0:05:19.120 --> 0:05:21.719 My kids were looking over me like, Mommy, are you 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:25.560 going to be okay? And I was really not prepared 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:28.919 for what came with that first shot. Now am I 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:31.279 getting the second shot? Of course I am. Do I 0:05:31.279 --> 0:05:34.120 think everybody should be vaccinated, Yes, I do. But I 0:05:34.160 --> 0:05:35.839 just want to say the world is shady because y'all 0:05:35.880 --> 0:05:38.560 lied to me about the symptoms and the side effects. 0:05:38.600 --> 0:05:41.160 I mean I heard some people say they had side effects. 0:05:41.400 --> 0:05:45.960 You hear it all, Oh, it's not that bad or um, 0:05:46.000 --> 0:05:48.640 I was tired, I couldn't get out of bed all day. Well, 0:05:48.680 --> 0:05:51.799 for me, it was bad, And I just want people 0:05:51.839 --> 0:05:55.040 to know that it can be bad, yes, because I 0:05:55.360 --> 0:05:57.240 think if they don't know that, then they think like, 0:05:57.400 --> 0:05:59.080 oh my god, this thing is gonna kill me, or 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:00.880 you know, I know it's wouldn't have taken it, or 0:06:01.040 --> 0:06:03.600 you know something's wrong. So yeah, it probably is good 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:05.680 for them to tell you, like, um, this thing is 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:07.839 not going to be easy. Now I did after I 0:06:07.839 --> 0:06:09.480 got the shot go out and have drinks. But that's 0:06:09.480 --> 0:06:10.840 a whole another story and we don't need to talk 0:06:10.839 --> 0:06:13.440 about that anyway. Let's move into the episode. Is that 0:06:13.600 --> 0:06:18.640 in the rules there a rule or something. Listen, Okay, 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:22.240 it is time to start this episode in which we're 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:26.360 going to talk about our girlfriends. Hey girlfriends, girl, how 0:06:26.480 --> 0:06:32.400 you doing? Okay, So, first and foremost, at this point 0:06:32.400 --> 0:06:35.240 in time in our lives, are we Drake? Do we 0:06:35.320 --> 0:06:38.480 need new friends? No new friends? How's it going? No 0:06:38.560 --> 0:06:40.840 new friends? No new friends? I can't remember how it 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:46.160 goes either. Robin sings sing the wrong song right now? Okay? 0:06:46.520 --> 0:06:50.279 So I do appreciate, for instance, you and I, Robin, 0:06:50.360 --> 0:06:54.479 we met later in life, and if I had the 0:06:54.560 --> 0:06:57.200 thought in my head okay, no new friends, then our 0:06:57.200 --> 0:07:00.040 friendship would not have happened. So true. Okay, So I 0:07:00.160 --> 0:07:02.440 want to block myself from new people that are coming 0:07:02.480 --> 0:07:04.400 into my life. You never know what why God is 0:07:04.400 --> 0:07:06.599 sending somebody into your life, so I never want to 0:07:06.600 --> 0:07:10.880 do that. However, these women out here crazy, right. I 0:07:10.920 --> 0:07:14.760 think the older we get, the more you know, well 0:07:14.840 --> 0:07:18.960 set in the ways people are um, the more like 0:07:19.160 --> 0:07:21.920 and especially if they've experienced some things. It's weird. Like 0:07:22.040 --> 0:07:24.600 I keep thinking, like, oh, as adults, you should realize, 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:27.200 like you know, life is like a box of chocolates, 0:07:27.240 --> 0:07:29.160 and you know, you get tougher and you just kind 0:07:29.160 --> 0:07:31.720 of roll with the punches. But some people let everything 0:07:31.720 --> 0:07:34.960 they go through like scar them, and and then they 0:07:35.040 --> 0:07:39.400 become more pressed to like impress people or you know, 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:42.040 it's like this this crazy need to keep up with 0:07:42.080 --> 0:07:44.760 the joneses and to make sure that you are like, 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:47.920 you know, the baddest one and or you know whatever. 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:50.960 It is like competing with people, and I think that's 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:54.640 when we have a problem. But I find and it's 0:07:54.840 --> 0:07:56.560 you know, this is crazy. I never thought I would 0:07:56.560 --> 0:07:59.280 say this, but like I'm making friends with like the 0:07:59.320 --> 0:08:01.840 sports ums that I hang out with, you know, I 0:08:01.880 --> 0:08:05.120 mean from your kids, from your kids teams, so my 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:08.600 kids football teams, basketball teams. And it's like, because those 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:10.800 are women that I spend a lot of time with 0:08:11.560 --> 0:08:15.040 and you'll have something in common, which is the game 0:08:15.080 --> 0:08:17.320 that your kids are playing, right exactly our kids. Our 0:08:17.400 --> 0:08:20.120 kids might become friends, and but it's something it's like 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:23.040 it's funny because you're like, Okay, when I was growing up, 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:25.080 but I've made friends with this person or what I've 0:08:25.120 --> 0:08:28.400 been friends with this person in college. Not necessarily like 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:31.840 you wouldn't have chosen to be that be friends with 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:34.400 some of these people, but because you're around them all 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:37.360 the time, you're communicating with them all the time, you 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:39.880 end up you know, like you know, I kind of 0:08:39.880 --> 0:08:43.080 share before in a hotel room drinking all night with people, 0:08:43.320 --> 0:08:46.480 and that was episode one. If y'all miss that Robin 0:08:46.640 --> 0:08:49.120 drinks with these women that she meets and they're in 0:08:49.160 --> 0:08:50.880 hotel rooms and they don't make it to the games 0:08:50.920 --> 0:08:52.960 the next day to see their kids play. We do, 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:55.120 but like with one I opened, they're delirious. They have 0:08:55.200 --> 0:09:00.520 no idea what's happening. Okay. So another question is when 0:09:00.520 --> 0:09:04.280 you meet these new people, do you google them? Well, 0:09:05.280 --> 0:09:08.959 it depends, Okay. I feel like when you meet someone 0:09:09.440 --> 0:09:11.920 that is that comes in the room and it's talking 0:09:11.960 --> 0:09:15.240 about what they do and who they are, and what 0:09:15.280 --> 0:09:18.280 they have and what their man has and where they live. 0:09:18.360 --> 0:09:21.559 Then yeah, I'm a googling you. Yes, and I'm googling 0:09:21.600 --> 0:09:28.199 your house, your address. Okay, okay, okay, I'm not going 0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:30.920 that far. But I kind of feel like, um, if 0:09:31.160 --> 0:09:34.920 if you're in my personal space and potentially in my 0:09:35.000 --> 0:09:37.839 intimate setting, right, I don't know what's gonna happen. The 0:09:37.880 --> 0:09:39.960 cops might come. I don't know if you if you're 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:43.200 a drug dealer girlfriend, if you had a criminal background 0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:45.680 and all of a sudden the fans caught up with you, Like, 0:09:45.679 --> 0:09:47.280 I don't want to be around when the fads come. 0:09:47.600 --> 0:09:50.400 But that's not going to be on on Google. It's 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:53.800 just not So it's not gonna be like You're gonna 0:09:53.800 --> 0:09:57.320 be like Susie Jones is her boyfriend is a jug dealer. 0:09:59.520 --> 0:10:01.800 It would be on Google because this has happened. I 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:05.360 had a friend and she had a case pending. Oh 0:10:05.800 --> 0:10:08.600 and so that's a case search. Oh well I didn't 0:10:08.600 --> 0:10:09.959 it just ship. It just came. It was in the 0:10:10.000 --> 0:10:12.960 Washington Post, So it just came up when I googled her, 0:10:13.480 --> 0:10:16.160 and so so then I knew, Okay, if I go 0:10:16.240 --> 0:10:19.240 out with her and just have some drinks. There's a 0:10:19.280 --> 0:10:25.240 potential that somebody might come that night lock her up. True, 0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:28.560 But are you going to be doing illegal activity with 0:10:28.600 --> 0:10:30.960 that friend? No, I'm not doing any illegal activity. But 0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:32.679 I just need to know because I'm just going to 0:10:32.760 --> 0:10:35.120 get locked up for associated with her. I don't I 0:10:35.120 --> 0:10:37.120 don't want to be in the paper like Jaelle Bryant 0:10:37.200 --> 0:10:39.280 was there when so so got locked up. No, I 0:10:39.280 --> 0:10:41.320 don't want that. So instead, you're just going to be 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:43.360 like out to drinks and like your head is on 0:10:43.400 --> 0:10:48.880 a swivel. I'm not going. And when she invites me 0:10:48.920 --> 0:10:50.719 to for drinks, I'm not going. You're not going to 0:10:50.760 --> 0:10:54.400 be her friend? Oh right, that's mean Okay, No, I'm not. 0:10:55.320 --> 0:10:59.360 And that's when Drake comes in friends exactly. Okay, I 0:10:59.360 --> 0:11:01.280 mean I think. Right, So, if it's a new friend 0:11:01.360 --> 0:11:05.560 she's got some criminal record, yeah you might want to 0:11:05.840 --> 0:11:09.760 you know, stand back, yes, yes, But if it's a 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:12.320 friend that you've had for a while and she got 0:11:12.320 --> 0:11:14.240 into a little bit of trouble, I say you continue 0:11:14.280 --> 0:11:18.880 to support her, Okay, alright, so you know because I know, 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:22.360 and it bothers the freak out of me. That a 0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:26.040 lot of times, especially when when we meet people, they 0:11:26.200 --> 0:11:30.600 feel like they have something to prove, right for whatever reason, 0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:32.520 I don't know. Maybe it's because we don't we on TV. 0:11:32.960 --> 0:11:34.559 I don't know what it is, but they feel like 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:36.360 they've got something to prove, so they want to come 0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:41.920 to the conversation talking about all this stuff like bragging, 0:11:42.600 --> 0:11:46.000 like name dropping. That is an instant turn off for me, 0:11:46.320 --> 0:11:48.440 Like you you want me to turn my ears off? 0:11:49.360 --> 0:11:53.120 Like they're like, just you know, my ears don't work 0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:57.040 as soon as you start talking about who you know 0:11:57.320 --> 0:12:00.559 and what you did and what you have and No, 0:12:01.840 --> 0:12:03.760 the best way to make friends, I think is to 0:12:03.960 --> 0:12:08.079 just be normal. Just be you. Don't try to be 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:11.440 something you're not, just be who you are. Right. And 0:12:11.480 --> 0:12:14.400 it's weird. It's like I think some people might hear 0:12:14.440 --> 0:12:15.800 that where we're like, you know, we don't want to 0:12:15.840 --> 0:12:18.680 hear people bragging like oh, well, maybe you're jealous of 0:12:18.679 --> 0:12:20.679 what their what's coming out of their mouth. It's like, no, 0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:23.960 I want to have a connection with someone because I 0:12:24.040 --> 0:12:27.520 connect with them with their personality. Um, I don't want 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:31.040 it to be Okay, Well, I'm impressed by what you 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:32.560 have and what you do, so I want to be 0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:34.640 your friends. So I can benefit from what you have 0:12:34.760 --> 0:12:38.040 and what you do. You know, that's a no. Yeah. 0:12:38.160 --> 0:12:41.880 And there's been times I remember, like, you know, years 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:44.079 ago when I was, when we were young and done, 0:12:44.120 --> 0:12:47.040 we would buy new cars like all the time. And 0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:50.040 I remember like buying a car, and I'm a type 0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:52.040 I don't like, I don't go around bragging about what 0:12:52.120 --> 0:12:54.320 I have. And and the next time my friends saw me, 0:12:54.320 --> 0:12:55.920 they were like, oh my god, why didn't you tell 0:12:55.920 --> 0:12:57.600 me you got a new car? And I'm like, wow, 0:12:57.640 --> 0:13:02.560 would I tell you that I got a new car? Yes? 0:13:02.800 --> 0:13:05.120 And people who asked that, I gotta look at them 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:08.320 weird because it's like, why you why? Why is that 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:12.440 the topic of conversation? Why is materialistic things the only 0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:15.439 topic of conversation? Exactly? So that's the type of stuff 0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:17.559 like where my antennas are up when the focus is 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:20.640 on materialistic things, or you know, what you have or 0:13:20.679 --> 0:13:22.000 what you do or who you know. I mean, there 0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:24.320 are some people we we know, we have mutual friends 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:28.280 or mutual acquaintances that they come in the room and like, yeah, 0:13:28.360 --> 0:13:31.080 I was with Bobby Brown the other night and then 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:35.120 Al Sharpton called me, and then all Sharpton didn't call 0:13:35.200 --> 0:13:37.720 you and they don't know you. And then I was 0:13:37.840 --> 0:13:40.240 I was at a restaurant and Hillary Clinton walked over 0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:42.640 and was like, I think I met you before. Like 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:48.320 it's like girl styles. Stop. Were not impressed. We're actually 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:54.040 turned off if it comes up in casual conversation, right, 0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:56.240 you know. Like, So I don't want people to think like, 0:13:56.240 --> 0:13:58.720 oh my god, well I can't share anything about my life. 0:13:58.760 --> 0:14:03.800 But it's a certain way to do it. I have 0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:08.040 to make an admission. I don't like talking about anything deep, okay, 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:11.280 or anything spiritual. Okay, I just don't. I noticed real bad. 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:14.520 That's not a surprise to me. It's not surprise to 0:14:14.600 --> 0:14:16.720 Robbing or anyone else that knows me. I don't have 0:14:16.760 --> 0:14:19.680 no deep conversation. And people probably think you do because 0:14:19.680 --> 0:14:22.200 you're like a preacher's wife. They probably think like you 0:14:22.400 --> 0:14:26.080 sit around and just have deep thoughts. Yeah. No, I'm 0:14:26.120 --> 0:14:30.680 not sitting around reciting gospel hymns. Okay, I'm not doing that. 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:34.520 And I'm just I don't want anything that's like I 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:39.480 have to like really super think about it. So talk 0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:43.600 to me only if I just met you about surface things, okay. 0:14:43.720 --> 0:14:47.040 So um so so word to anyone that meets just 0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:50.440 wants to be her friend, Surfer her about the weather, 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:57.120 talk to her about her favorite place to vacation, and restaurants, 0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:03.239 her favorite design, my shoes, talking about my shoes, my airrings, 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:07.040 favorite restaurant, and and I don't know what the last 0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:09.520 thing you watched on Netflix? Yes, the latest Netflix. Yeah, 0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:12.200 that's it. If you talk about anything outside of that, 0:15:12.280 --> 0:15:13.560 I would have had to have known you for a 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:17.640 very long time. Well, so there's levels two girlfriends, friendships, 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:21.720 there's levels, yes, But I feel like, what about business? 0:15:21.720 --> 0:15:25.400 What if there's a woman that an entrepreneur and you know, 0:15:25.520 --> 0:15:27.920 you wanna you all kind of just start talking about 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:30.400 what you do and I like that. Okay, you like that. 0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:33.160 I like that, But you can't lie. No, no, no, 0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:35.800 we're not lying. We're not bragging. No line, no bragging. Okay, 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:37.320 all right, So I like that. So if you're coming 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:41.640 to me and we just met and we're bonding over business, um, 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:44.120 the best way to you know, start up a business 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:47.720 being an entrepreneur being the pitfalls of being a black 0:15:47.720 --> 0:15:49.640 woman in this in this world call I mean this 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:53.080 thing called life. Stay stay tuned for that episode that's coming. Yes, 0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:55.520 that's that's coming out. I love that okay, because I 0:15:55.600 --> 0:15:58.400 always want to see black women win. But the minute 0:15:58.600 --> 0:16:01.359 you get deep with it and start talk about I was, 0:16:01.160 --> 0:16:07.280 I was, what if she's like and God told me that. No, 0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:09.760 the minute you get deep, but I'm out, I'm tuned out. 0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:13.120 I have tuned the freak out. I am. I'm not listen. 0:16:13.160 --> 0:16:16.240 That's the reason why she's a multimillionaire, because she told 0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:20.400 her to do to open that business. Okay, fine, I'll 0:16:20.440 --> 0:16:24.600 listen then, all right, but you can't. There's again, there's 0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:30.120 levels to girlfriend friendship. Level number one talk about nothing, okay. 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:34.160 Level number two you can get throw some business in. Okay, 0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:36.280 But you know what I do? You hate? I hate 0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:38.840 when I go to a I mean, it doesn't happen 0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:41.200 that much anymore because now we're on TV and people 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:43.240 recognize this. But in the past, people go to like 0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:46.600 the social events and you're just meeting random people and 0:16:46.720 --> 0:16:49.840 the very very very first question out of their mouth 0:16:50.080 --> 0:16:52.560 is what do you do? So what do you do 0:16:52.640 --> 0:16:55.040 for a living? I say nothing. I stit on the couch. 0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:59.840 Me too. I'd be like, well, I thank you for asking, 0:17:00.000 --> 0:17:04.840 but I am a stay at home woman. I just 0:17:04.920 --> 0:17:07.200 find it very pretentious when people come and they ask 0:17:07.240 --> 0:17:09.080 that kind because they want you to ask them what 0:17:09.119 --> 0:17:11.320 they do because they're like, you know, a high power, 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:13.800 they're like a partner at a law firm, and they 0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:16.639 would like tell you that. Like, I just hate that question, 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:18.840 and maybe I hate it because like I never I 0:17:18.880 --> 0:17:21.000 didn't really have something I wanted to talk because Robin 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:23.320 was actually at at home on that. Yeah, Like if 0:17:23.359 --> 0:17:25.919 I was like a surgeon, I'd be like, yes, I 0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:28.040 am a brain surgeon, and I'd be like thank you 0:17:28.080 --> 0:17:32.240 for asking, right, right, Okay, So there's always I find 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:34.639 like in a group of girlfriends that's this girlfriends that 0:17:34.680 --> 0:17:37.200 you're have in different categories, right for sure? So this 0:17:37.320 --> 0:17:38.840 girlfriends that you want to hang out with and have 0:17:38.920 --> 0:17:43.480 drinks with. So are are their friends that you like 0:17:43.600 --> 0:17:47.640 them better when they're drunk? Right? Like there's some friends 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:52.359 that they're they're non drunk self, I can't stand, but 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:56.280 when they're drunk, Oh they're amazing, right right, that's not 0:17:56.320 --> 0:17:59.080 good though, it's not good at all. But I only 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:01.000 want to be around you when you're drunk. So then 0:18:01.040 --> 0:18:04.520 do you like push drinks towards their way? And I 0:18:04.600 --> 0:18:07.240 only want to be around you if drinks are being 0:18:07.240 --> 0:18:12.640 served so, so then that's a surface friend. Okay, yes, right, yes, 0:18:12.760 --> 0:18:14.919 that's that's a surface friend, like you have no desire 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:16.879 to talk to that person on the phone or to 0:18:16.920 --> 0:18:19.919 hear about what they're going through or you know, to 0:18:19.960 --> 0:18:24.000 talk about what you're you know, right, No, so, and 0:18:24.000 --> 0:18:26.760 and there's a friend that we both know, and she 0:18:26.800 --> 0:18:31.320 doesn't want to drink anymore, right, and she I don't 0:18:31.359 --> 0:18:34.360 want to be around her like when she was drinking, Oh, 0:18:34.440 --> 0:18:37.639 she was the life of the party. She was the 0:18:37.640 --> 0:18:39.720 best woman in the room. But now that she doesn't 0:18:39.720 --> 0:18:41.720 want to drink anymore, I don't want to see her, 0:18:42.119 --> 0:18:43.760 I know. But then you have to worry about people 0:18:43.800 --> 0:18:45.840 like that, like what's going on in their real life 0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:50.280 that they can't be fun and enjoyable when they're not drinking. 0:18:50.760 --> 0:18:53.080 But see, that's not this is like this is girlfriends. 0:18:53.080 --> 0:18:54.959 I'm not married to you. That's not my problem, Like 0:18:55.119 --> 0:18:56.600 I'm not you know what I'm saying. We just friends, 0:18:56.600 --> 0:18:58.119 like you know, you gotta you gotta worry about your 0:18:58.119 --> 0:19:00.800 own problems on your own time. Yes, she did the 0:19:00.800 --> 0:19:04.199 worst friend. Yeah, she's a surface friend. Yes I am 0:19:04.240 --> 0:19:07.520 the worst. Now then you have I have some friends 0:19:07.600 --> 0:19:12.399 where I'm like, please don't get drunk. Why Because it's 0:19:12.440 --> 0:19:16.840 like because then they become the one that's like, oh 0:19:16.880 --> 0:19:20.760 my god, I'm so upset. My life is so crazy, 0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:24.320 like like they become emotional then and then they ruin 0:19:24.440 --> 0:19:27.200 your drunkenness like they ruin your they blow the high, 0:19:27.240 --> 0:19:30.560 your high, you know, and it's like, oh, good, what 0:19:30.600 --> 0:19:33.080 are you doing? Okay that whoever that is in your life, 0:19:33.119 --> 0:19:35.040 she's not going out with us. I don't want her 0:19:35.080 --> 0:19:39.040 around because I don't want no crying drunks at the club. 0:19:40.200 --> 0:19:44.560 That's crazy. Okay, I'm so horrible, right, So yeah, that's like, 0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:47.160 but that's that can be like your real good friend 0:19:47.160 --> 0:19:49.960 in real life, and then put some drinks up in 0:19:50.040 --> 0:19:53.520 her and she's just like a Debbie Downer right right? 0:19:54.160 --> 0:19:59.879 Und Now, do you feel like girlfriends tell you that 0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:04.080 truth as it relates to their their whole factor, right, 0:20:04.800 --> 0:20:10.080 their their whole meter, right, Because that's really important. And 0:20:10.080 --> 0:20:12.680 the reason why it's important is because if her whole 0:20:12.760 --> 0:20:15.640 meter is off the charts, she's gonna sleep with your man, 0:20:16.040 --> 0:20:20.480 no question. So it's always like when she starts talking 0:20:20.520 --> 0:20:23.360 about stuff she's doing, it's like I'm side eyeing her 0:20:23.400 --> 0:20:26.280 because at any given moment, she's going to try to 0:20:26.359 --> 0:20:29.280 sleep with the dude I'm right now, especially if she 0:20:29.359 --> 0:20:35.240 said her boyfriend was married. I'm always feeling like we 0:20:35.359 --> 0:20:38.080 might try to sleep with I'm not married, but she 0:20:38.200 --> 0:20:40.959 just you have no roles, you have no boundaries. I 0:20:41.000 --> 0:20:44.879 need roles. Well, okay, So the question is, so you 0:20:44.920 --> 0:20:48.360 meet a new friend, do you ask them what their 0:20:48.359 --> 0:20:51.960 whole meter is? No, you just listen when okay, you 0:20:52.080 --> 0:20:55.080 just listen to the things she starts saying, probing questions 0:20:55.119 --> 0:20:58.479 you asked, um, yes you know, hey girl, you know 0:20:58.880 --> 0:21:02.639 you're married? No, who you're saying all? I'm saying so 0:21:02.680 --> 0:21:04.879 a so. But but then this is another question that 0:21:04.920 --> 0:21:07.400 goes along with that. So, if you are in a relationship, 0:21:07.600 --> 0:21:10.000 or if you're married in a relationship, do you even 0:21:10.119 --> 0:21:14.560 want to invite new friends around that are single? You know? 0:21:14.920 --> 0:21:17.840 Or do you want most of your new friends to 0:21:17.960 --> 0:21:23.280 be in a relationship? M you know the plot picking 0:21:24.440 --> 0:21:29.080 I think I think that yes, if I was married, 0:21:29.720 --> 0:21:33.280 I would want my new girlfriends to also be married 0:21:33.520 --> 0:21:36.199 or in a like significant relationship. I don't want no 0:21:36.920 --> 0:21:39.960 straggly single girls just around, right, because then that doesn't 0:21:40.000 --> 0:21:42.480 even work. So it's like, oh, all right, honey, you're 0:21:42.480 --> 0:21:44.520 talking to your man. All right, honey, I'm about to 0:21:44.560 --> 0:21:49.600 go out with Tracy. Who's Tracy? Oh? Tracy? Tracy is 0:21:49.640 --> 0:21:52.080 my friendly can I played the part of one who's Tracy? 0:21:53.600 --> 0:21:56.560 I never heard no Tracy. Well I just met Tracy. 0:21:56.720 --> 0:21:59.320 We were at the mall and I bumped into her 0:21:59.359 --> 0:22:01.440 and we were shot being and like, she just wants 0:22:01.440 --> 0:22:04.200 to hang out and where y'all going. We're just gonna 0:22:04.200 --> 0:22:08.400 get some drinks. M hmm. What time you coming back? 0:22:09.320 --> 0:22:10.920 I mean, I don't know. It will be out like 0:22:10.960 --> 0:22:14.399 a couple of hours. Maybe it's Tracy. What's so she married? 0:22:14.480 --> 0:22:19.440 What's up with um? I don't think Yeah. No, Now, 0:22:19.480 --> 0:22:21.399 Wine is not going to say no, but he is 0:22:21.440 --> 0:22:23.480 going to be He's going to ask fifty questions and 0:22:23.520 --> 0:22:26.399 call me fifty times. Yeah, he's going. Okay. Just for 0:22:26.440 --> 0:22:29.480 those of y'all don't know why Dixon Wine calls Robbing 0:22:30.200 --> 0:22:34.159 a thousand times a day. Like we've been sitting here 0:22:34.200 --> 0:22:36.520 doing this podcast. Now we're all minute twenty two. He's 0:22:36.520 --> 0:22:41.080 called four times. Okay, I'm lying, But Whine calls Robin. 0:22:41.320 --> 0:22:44.120 Now if one thanks, Robin is out doing something she's 0:22:44.160 --> 0:22:48.320 supposed to be doing that puts some calls. Repeat, Okay, 0:22:48.880 --> 0:22:51.560 Dixon and Win is the type of guy do you 0:22:51.560 --> 0:22:52.760 think someone on the side of the road and now 0:22:52.880 --> 0:22:55.120 he doesn't? Why? Is the type of guy that if 0:22:55.160 --> 0:22:59.200 you don't answer, he keeps calling back and heeps calling 0:22:59.200 --> 0:23:02.640 back and do you ain't what I call my friends? Yes? Yes, 0:23:02.720 --> 0:23:04.959 And then he will call anybody that she said she 0:23:05.119 --> 0:23:07.280 was with. Okay, that's just one. That's the nature of 0:23:07.320 --> 0:23:11.520 their relationship. No judgment. It's crazy, but no judgment. He's 0:23:11.560 --> 0:23:17.920 just worried. Okay, the man at the gas station kidnapped me. Okay. 0:23:18.200 --> 0:23:21.680 But I I totally agree. I feel like girlfriends that 0:23:21.920 --> 0:23:24.800 are not that don't have the same demographic that you 0:23:24.800 --> 0:23:28.320 are living should not come into your circle. I mean, 0:23:28.320 --> 0:23:30.959 I just think that that's you're you're setting yourself up 0:23:31.000 --> 0:23:34.679 for problems, right, I agree, unless you have like mutual 0:23:34.760 --> 0:23:36.879 friends that can vouch for that person. You know, I 0:23:37.200 --> 0:23:41.320 just feel like not a random that it's totally living 0:23:41.520 --> 0:23:44.239 the single whole life. No, that's not gonna work, Like, 0:23:44.400 --> 0:23:47.120 no at all, No, not at all. Um and and 0:23:47.160 --> 0:23:49.720 it so so we're saying all this to say, it 0:23:49.880 --> 0:23:53.960 becomes very difficult for you to really a trust people 0:23:54.040 --> 0:23:57.480 that are going to be in your circle. UM, I 0:23:57.520 --> 0:23:59.680 don't think that, you know, I get real nervous about 0:23:59.720 --> 0:24:03.240 what people. You know, if I have a conversation with somebody, 0:24:03.280 --> 0:24:06.879 like how they take that conversation later, Like how that 0:24:06.960 --> 0:24:09.919 convers you know what I mean, Like, M I think 0:24:09.960 --> 0:24:12.199 it's a great conversation, but they walk away and they're like, 0:24:12.240 --> 0:24:14.680 Gezell's an asshole, And I'm like, but I thought it 0:24:14.720 --> 0:24:17.800 was good. I thought we had jokes and everything. So, 0:24:17.960 --> 0:24:21.280 you know, I always get feel weird about it sometimes. 0:24:21.280 --> 0:24:24.359 But but the reality of it is you have to 0:24:24.440 --> 0:24:26.760 really have your spotty senses up with all people, not 0:24:26.840 --> 0:24:30.959 just girlfriends, but like all people, because people are crazy 0:24:31.000 --> 0:24:33.359 out here in the streets. I'm trying to remember the 0:24:33.480 --> 0:24:38.240 last time I met a new friend and like outside 0:24:38.240 --> 0:24:42.520 of the show, you know, not because of the show, um, 0:24:42.560 --> 0:24:51.280 that I connected with and like really developed a friendship with. Um. 0:24:51.320 --> 0:24:57.359 You know what I would say, like, Um, Vicky Vicky Irvin, 0:24:57.440 --> 0:25:02.600 who is I met her on a business matter? Yes, 0:25:02.920 --> 0:25:06.400 and that kind of you know, created a friendship. Yes, 0:25:06.480 --> 0:25:11.040 And Vicky Irvin, you did your um lipstick with correct? Okay, 0:25:11.080 --> 0:25:13.160 so we had so so I did a lipstick lip 0:25:13.240 --> 0:25:17.960 lost collaboration with her. So she's an entrepreneur. Um, my 0:25:18.080 --> 0:25:21.000 real estate mentor introduced me to her because he thought 0:25:21.359 --> 0:25:23.800 that she could be helpful to me because he knew 0:25:23.840 --> 0:25:26.919 that I was just you know, getting into the entrepreneurial space, 0:25:27.600 --> 0:25:30.800 and so so that friendship developed. Um, but it was 0:25:30.840 --> 0:25:34.680 it started more. It's I feel like nowadays at our age, 0:25:34.680 --> 0:25:37.760 when we meet people it's because of a purpose. Yeah, yeah, 0:25:37.800 --> 0:25:39.800 it's it's it's got to be. You guys have to 0:25:39.840 --> 0:25:42.560 be aligned in some kind of way. So so if 0:25:42.560 --> 0:25:46.080 it's not business, it might be because you said my kids, 0:25:46.400 --> 0:25:49.320 because kids or your partners might know each other, and 0:25:49.320 --> 0:25:53.200 then you guys bond over that. Um. Otherwise it's just 0:25:53.240 --> 0:25:55.280 like I'm not going and getting my hair done and 0:25:55.400 --> 0:25:57.680 I meet you at the salon and we become friends. 0:25:58.000 --> 0:26:00.879 That's not happening. No, No, definitely. In it's it's like 0:26:01.080 --> 0:26:02.960 kind of weird when people are like, oh, we should 0:26:02.960 --> 0:26:06.560 exchange numbers and you're like, no, we shouldn't. Why we 0:26:06.600 --> 0:26:11.719 should not, because first of all, I'm already not the 0:26:11.760 --> 0:26:13.720 best friend that I can be to the friends that 0:26:13.760 --> 0:26:19.399 I already have, you know, because I'm just kidding. Rob 0:26:19.640 --> 0:26:22.480 is great to me probably these days get most of 0:26:22.520 --> 0:26:26.120 my friend time. That's very much. Other friends are probably 0:26:26.160 --> 0:26:31.040 hating on you, I know. But actually that happened to 0:26:31.080 --> 0:26:35.720 me in the gym, so very nice. Um lady girl. 0:26:35.920 --> 0:26:38.399 She walked up to me and she started asking me. 0:26:38.480 --> 0:26:41.359 She she saw that my house is being renovated, and 0:26:41.400 --> 0:26:43.400 she asked me about it, and then she talked about 0:26:43.440 --> 0:26:47.080 the fact that she's got she knows somebody who you know, 0:26:47.119 --> 0:26:50.480 has a renovation business or something. And then she was like, Oh, 0:26:50.560 --> 0:26:54.240 you're so super cool. We should hang out. Let's exchange numbers. Yeah, no, 0:26:54.320 --> 0:26:58.000 I'm not that superb. I'm not. And I and she 0:26:58.160 --> 0:27:00.640 made me give her my number, Like it was kind 0:27:00.640 --> 0:27:02.600 of like her phone was out and I had my 0:27:02.640 --> 0:27:04.479 phone in my hand, and like I didn't know what 0:27:04.520 --> 0:27:08.080 to do. I couldn't back away, so I had to 0:27:08.119 --> 0:27:10.200 give her my number. And it was just like so weird. 0:27:10.240 --> 0:27:12.880 And I thought to myself, Oh my god, I hope 0:27:12.880 --> 0:27:18.400 she hasn't called me. Did she know? Thank God? But 0:27:18.400 --> 0:27:21.240 but but when things like that happen, it just makes 0:27:21.240 --> 0:27:23.720 me feel like this is not authentic. I want to 0:27:23.760 --> 0:27:27.680 meet girlfriends and it's an authentic relationship, you know. It's 0:27:27.680 --> 0:27:31.200 a great feeling right. It's not like pushed on you exactly. 0:27:31.359 --> 0:27:36.240 Yeah yeah, yeah, Um, digital interaction? What the hell is that? 0:27:36.520 --> 0:27:39.560 Social media? Okay? So I'm supposed to meet people on 0:27:39.600 --> 0:27:42.040 social media? Okay, for the record, let's just say, for 0:27:42.040 --> 0:27:44.080 the record, I feel like I have enough girlfriends in 0:27:44.119 --> 0:27:47.639 my life. Do you oh I have tons? Yes? I 0:27:47.680 --> 0:27:50.680 have tons? Yes? Okay, But so you are you asking 0:27:50.800 --> 0:27:54.199 if on social media somebody reaches out? So okay, So 0:27:54.320 --> 0:27:59.080 say on social media you have like acquaintances kind of 0:27:59.800 --> 0:28:04.840 in they're trying. It's like does that muddy your your 0:28:04.960 --> 0:28:08.840 real your interaction with them in real life? So you 0:28:08.920 --> 0:28:15.040 have people who I think, um are more friendly on 0:28:15.080 --> 0:28:19.280 social media than they are in real life. Like they 0:28:19.359 --> 0:28:23.919 might see you come afar and like not speak, and 0:28:23.920 --> 0:28:26.760 then on social media they're all like, hey girl, how 0:28:26.800 --> 0:28:31.720 would you know? Um, you just know, I don't know. 0:28:31.880 --> 0:28:35.919 I feel like that's like people not being comfortable, you know, 0:28:36.280 --> 0:28:39.280 like you like, okay, if you see someone who's commenting 0:28:39.320 --> 0:28:41.640 on your social media, but when you see them in 0:28:41.680 --> 0:28:43.680 real life, they're barely like coming up to you and 0:28:43.720 --> 0:28:47.400 saying hi. Okay, So there's social media friends, right right, 0:28:47.840 --> 0:28:50.600 But then but they're like almost intimidated in real life 0:28:50.600 --> 0:28:52.640 to come up to you. Yeah, that's that's weird. So 0:28:52.680 --> 0:28:56.560 it's kind of like you're hiding behind your social media handle. Yeah, 0:28:56.600 --> 0:28:59.280 that's I find that to be a stalker exactly. Yeah, 0:28:59.320 --> 0:29:01.440 I mean it's I just think it's more of like 0:29:01.640 --> 0:29:04.320 maybe they are socially awkward or maybe they're intimidated. But 0:29:04.400 --> 0:29:07.719 I have experienced that where people will interact with me 0:29:07.800 --> 0:29:11.400 more on social media than if they were actually face 0:29:11.520 --> 0:29:15.200 to face. Right, Okay, Okay, So I do have some 0:29:15.280 --> 0:29:22.880 girlfriends and unfortunately they're like sorority sisters, right, and unfortunately 0:29:22.920 --> 0:29:25.000 there sororities. Well there was a reason. I mean, I 0:29:25.360 --> 0:29:27.760 love the fact that they're my sorority sisters, but like 0:29:28.080 --> 0:29:31.600 that's the reason why they've been in my life forever. Right. 0:29:31.640 --> 0:29:34.120 But then as time goes by, you know, as you 0:29:34.160 --> 0:29:37.840 get older, you change, you grow, and you see people 0:29:37.880 --> 0:29:41.200 who don't change and grow, and then you realize they're losers. 0:29:41.360 --> 0:29:43.920 Right is that terrible to say? Like they're kind of 0:29:43.960 --> 0:29:48.240 like they're stuck. They're stuck. They're stuck, they haven't grown, 0:29:48.360 --> 0:29:51.720 they haven't evolved, and you're at a totally different place. 0:29:51.880 --> 0:29:54.200 So how do you deal with do you do you 0:29:54.200 --> 0:29:56.120 cut those people out of your life. Don't listen to 0:29:56.120 --> 0:29:59.280 me because I cut people like I got I got 0:29:59.320 --> 0:30:01.440 a machete, I here, and I'd just be cut. No, 0:30:01.600 --> 0:30:04.160 you know why you don't cut them out because guess what, 0:30:04.200 --> 0:30:08.880 one day you might be in a totally different places. Yes, 0:30:09.720 --> 0:30:14.040 and you might need your friends to love you unconditionally. Right. 0:30:14.240 --> 0:30:18.520 So I have you know, my sore roars that I 0:30:18.600 --> 0:30:22.560 love dearly that I probably would never have have even 0:30:22.720 --> 0:30:25.520 met if I weren't in the sority, you know, so 0:30:25.560 --> 0:30:28.480 I would would have never really been friends with them, 0:30:28.560 --> 0:30:31.640 and we are totally different people. I mean, the sority 0:30:31.680 --> 0:30:33.760 is a good thing because it kind of forces you 0:30:33.880 --> 0:30:37.600 to receive people where they are, to love them regardless, 0:30:37.680 --> 0:30:40.200 and to kind of be their friend regardless like whether 0:30:40.280 --> 0:30:42.640 or not you would be their friend or not outside 0:30:42.640 --> 0:30:46.959 of the sorority. And so I think it's you know, 0:30:47.120 --> 0:30:49.680 you can't be like you didn't level up yet, girls, 0:30:50.160 --> 0:30:52.800 So I'm not going to be your friends. Not you 0:30:52.840 --> 0:30:55.600 didn't level up. But it's kind of like the the 0:30:55.600 --> 0:30:59.080 the we're in a different space mentally, right, Okay, So 0:30:59.120 --> 0:31:00.760 I'm just gonna say to the people, if you want 0:31:00.760 --> 0:31:02.920 to cut people out your life. Because God brings people 0:31:02.960 --> 0:31:04.960 in your life for a reason in the season, then 0:31:05.000 --> 0:31:07.040 go ahead on and do it. I'm not mad at you, 0:31:07.280 --> 0:31:11.600 I mean but reasonable, Robin. Just don't be mad when 0:31:11.600 --> 0:31:15.600 other people cut you out of their life. Okay, listen, 0:31:15.680 --> 0:31:18.680 I've been begging people to cut me out there life. Please? 0:31:19.000 --> 0:31:22.640 Can I have it at writing? Right? Are you sure? Yes? 0:31:23.280 --> 0:31:26.680 Oh my God, leave me alone. But but I do 0:31:26.800 --> 0:31:29.480 feel like, you know, there comes a time and place 0:31:29.520 --> 0:31:34.040 where you want people that can add value, right, and 0:31:34.120 --> 0:31:36.560 you want you want to be you want to surround 0:31:36.560 --> 0:31:39.640 yourself with people that are constantly allowing you to be 0:31:39.680 --> 0:31:43.160 your greater self. And and sometimes the girlfriends can't come 0:31:43.200 --> 0:31:46.720 on that journey. But but why is it just because 0:31:47.240 --> 0:31:51.560 so so you're saying mentally they're like they're negative or 0:31:51.600 --> 0:31:53.880 they are because just because they might not be on 0:31:53.960 --> 0:31:57.200 your level, they might still be able to provide some 0:31:57.240 --> 0:32:00.880 sort of support to you or some sort of encouragement 0:32:01.240 --> 0:32:05.360 or you know, friendship. Right, Yes, yes, that's true. And 0:32:05.400 --> 0:32:08.240 sometimes you want to keep that friend who was there 0:32:08.280 --> 0:32:11.800 with you before you are you were the person you 0:32:11.840 --> 0:32:13.840 are today. Okay, but if but if we've known each 0:32:13.840 --> 0:32:15.840 other for like twenty five years and you're still talking 0:32:15.840 --> 0:32:17.680 about the same ship that you were talking about when 0:32:17.680 --> 0:32:20.560 I met you five years ago, then there's a problem. Yeah, 0:32:20.560 --> 0:32:22.520 well that's a big problem, right, Like if I if 0:32:22.560 --> 0:32:24.880 I feel like and it's not that I've leveled up 0:32:24.920 --> 0:32:27.840 and you stayed the same, it's like mentally we're just 0:32:27.920 --> 0:32:31.040 not there, right. So have you said that to them? No? 0:32:31.400 --> 0:32:33.000 I thought, don't that. I think that's rude. If I 0:32:33.000 --> 0:32:37.280 tell people you are a loser, We'll see. That's a 0:32:37.280 --> 0:32:39.760 conversation like what is okay to say to your friends 0:32:40.000 --> 0:32:42.400 and what's not okay to say to your friends, because 0:32:42.440 --> 0:32:44.960 sometimes your friends need to hear the hard truth and 0:32:45.560 --> 0:32:49.320 if they don't receive it the way you intended, then 0:32:49.360 --> 0:32:51.720 that's on them. That is very true. And to be 0:32:51.760 --> 0:32:53.720 honest with you, I am very honest with my friends, 0:32:55.120 --> 0:32:59.480 I think. And do they appreciate your honesty? Hell? Nodate 0:32:59.600 --> 0:33:03.000 me know I'm getting I think they do. You want 0:33:03.000 --> 0:33:05.560 to know why? Because I have so many friends that 0:33:05.600 --> 0:33:09.160 I've had forever and they tell me things that I've 0:33:09.200 --> 0:33:13.840 said to them ten fifteen years later that helped them 0:33:13.880 --> 0:33:15.800 in that moment that I didn't know help them. But 0:33:15.960 --> 0:33:18.040 they tell me, hey, I remember you said this to 0:33:18.040 --> 0:33:20.239 me a long time ago, and then I broke up 0:33:20.240 --> 0:33:22.800 with that loser dude and I found this other guy 0:33:22.920 --> 0:33:26.600 or whatever, whatever the scenario is. They repeat to me 0:33:26.760 --> 0:33:31.040 verbatim what I said to them, and so, um, oh 0:33:31.040 --> 0:33:33.000 did I tell you I was an oracle? I this 0:33:33.040 --> 0:33:36.040 is what I know. I'm going off the deep end. Okay, fine, 0:33:36.240 --> 0:33:38.720 but now I do. I'm getting deep and y'all know 0:33:38.760 --> 0:33:41.880 I don't get deep. Um, but I need to get 0:33:41.920 --> 0:33:43.360 back to that. I need to get back to just 0:33:43.440 --> 0:33:46.880 like being brutally honest with people when I know you 0:33:46.920 --> 0:33:49.400 can do better and be a better person. Right. Oh, 0:33:49.520 --> 0:33:53.760 for sure, I think especially as you get older. Um, 0:33:53.800 --> 0:33:55.720 it's not you're not helping your friend at off. You 0:33:55.720 --> 0:33:58.520 can't be honest with your friend. Yes, if you can't 0:33:58.800 --> 0:34:02.240 encourage them to, you know, drop the negativity, the toxicity 0:34:02.320 --> 0:34:05.040 and to do better. And if your friend does not 0:34:05.160 --> 0:34:08.640 want to receive those messages, then yeah, maybe it's time 0:34:08.640 --> 0:34:12.759 to drop them as a friend because you can't. You 0:34:12.800 --> 0:34:14.720 don't know how to be a good friend to someone 0:34:15.120 --> 0:34:18.520 that doesn't want to receive your friendship, right Um? And 0:34:18.560 --> 0:34:21.120 I think this is friendship is not always about being 0:34:21.120 --> 0:34:24.160 a yes person. It's not about always agreeing with your friends, 0:34:24.640 --> 0:34:27.120 liking what they do. Um. You know, of course we 0:34:27.160 --> 0:34:29.360 want to celebrate our friends and support our friends. But 0:34:29.400 --> 0:34:32.000 if there's something that we can you know, what is 0:34:32.040 --> 0:34:35.960 it constructive criticism? If we can constructively criticize our friends. 0:34:37.000 --> 0:34:39.719 I know I want to be constructively criticized. You know, 0:34:41.239 --> 0:34:43.239 I don't. I don't receive it very often because I 0:34:43.280 --> 0:34:49.920 am quite perfect. Okay, all right, okay, So and this 0:34:49.960 --> 0:34:53.360 is this is actually from me and you, um, because 0:34:53.640 --> 0:34:56.399 you know we've been friends and we we have we're 0:34:56.480 --> 0:34:59.640 in this group, this circle, um, you know, we'll just 0:34:59.640 --> 0:35:04.040 referred to of the show. And a lot of times, um, 0:35:04.239 --> 0:35:08.080 they think that we know things about each other that 0:35:08.360 --> 0:35:12.040 therefore that that the world doesn't know. Therefore that's why 0:35:12.080 --> 0:35:14.359 we're friends, because we we got dirt on each other, right, 0:35:14.960 --> 0:35:20.160 which is true, But that's not why we're friends. Meaning 0:35:20.239 --> 0:35:22.799 I know stuff about Robin that I'll never say, and 0:35:22.920 --> 0:35:26.920 vice versa. But that's what friendship is. But the question 0:35:27.080 --> 0:35:29.640 is when you meet somebody new, like how quickly do 0:35:29.719 --> 0:35:35.239 you tell them like your business, your business, your personal business, 0:35:36.080 --> 0:35:38.279 because that's a trust thing, right, you gotta trust that 0:35:38.280 --> 0:35:41.160 person because you gotta know you're telling them and they 0:35:41.239 --> 0:35:43.760 might tell one other person, but they can't tell the world. 0:35:44.719 --> 0:35:47.040 I don't That is so hard because I feel like, 0:35:47.080 --> 0:35:50.520 for me, I'm not going to tell you anything until 0:35:50.560 --> 0:35:55.239 you tell me something, and so then it becomes like 0:35:55.320 --> 0:35:57.799 what comes first, the chicken or the egg? Yes, and 0:35:57.840 --> 0:35:59.279 I know you ain't telling me that, Like I don't 0:35:59.280 --> 0:36:02.360 even know how. I think it takes a minute, but 0:36:02.600 --> 0:36:05.480 like a very long time for people to really start 0:36:05.520 --> 0:36:09.160 sharing unless you're a really open person and you don't care. 0:36:10.520 --> 0:36:14.960 But I don't know. I mean, I'm not I I 0:36:15.040 --> 0:36:17.600 always find that people spill their guts to me. I 0:36:17.640 --> 0:36:21.440 do not know why, um, but they do. And then 0:36:21.440 --> 0:36:23.680 she tells me everyone and then I did tell Robin. 0:36:23.840 --> 0:36:25.480 But I mean, they spill their guts, and I think 0:36:25.520 --> 0:36:28.360 maybe they feel like that is their way to to 0:36:28.480 --> 0:36:31.719 build trust. And then maybe they're thinking, I'm gonna spell 0:36:31.719 --> 0:36:33.279 my guts. But I'm done you right now. I don't 0:36:33.320 --> 0:36:34.960 care when I meet you, how I meet you. I'm 0:36:35.000 --> 0:36:39.840 never spelling my guts. Um. But I feel like it's 0:36:40.239 --> 0:36:45.200 it's very difficult for for women to feel a sense 0:36:45.239 --> 0:36:47.200 of comfort. So because you do want to have somebody 0:36:47.239 --> 0:36:49.719 that you can share a bunch of stuff with and 0:36:49.760 --> 0:36:52.000 that is going to support you and not judge you, 0:36:52.040 --> 0:36:54.399 and that's in your corner. So it's just a it's 0:36:54.400 --> 0:36:57.279 just a very fine line and and I have I 0:36:57.280 --> 0:37:00.279 haven't been able to balance it or figure it out right. 0:37:00.400 --> 0:37:03.640 I don't think there's a real right time. You know, 0:37:03.680 --> 0:37:07.680 it's not like, oh well, exactly on the day after 0:37:07.719 --> 0:37:11.040 meeting the friend, now it's okay to share. You know. 0:37:11.120 --> 0:37:13.279 I think it's more of an intuition thing. I think 0:37:13.320 --> 0:37:17.120 it's more of just, you know, the vibe between the 0:37:17.160 --> 0:37:23.120 two people where you feel, okay, this person knows me 0:37:23.320 --> 0:37:27.080 or cares about me differently or more than someone else. 0:37:27.160 --> 0:37:29.719 Like it's so weird, like you can't really explain why 0:37:30.040 --> 0:37:33.759 certain people are closer friends than others. You know, you 0:37:33.800 --> 0:37:37.480 can have a friend circle of eight or ten people 0:37:37.880 --> 0:37:39.960 and there might be that one or two people that 0:37:40.000 --> 0:37:44.520 you just vibe better with for whatever reason, for whatever reason. 0:37:44.600 --> 0:37:48.720 Maybe it's it's it's pheromones, it's just you know, campus 0:37:48.920 --> 0:37:52.480 it's whatever it is. We right, what is it? What 0:37:52.640 --> 0:37:55.279 is it? I don't know. I don't know, um, but 0:37:55.400 --> 0:37:56.920 I just want to put out there because you know, 0:37:56.960 --> 0:38:00.160 I'm thinking about my girlfriends and and just relationships. And 0:38:00.320 --> 0:38:02.400 I'm the girl that if I see your man cheating, 0:38:02.480 --> 0:38:05.759 I'm gonna tell you, okay, and I'm going to get 0:38:05.800 --> 0:38:10.200 my phone and video, but see and pictures. I feel 0:38:10.239 --> 0:38:12.399 like you have to if you're going to tell her, 0:38:12.760 --> 0:38:15.160 you gotta have the pictures in the video. Yes, and 0:38:15.200 --> 0:38:17.040 I'm gonna let you know. And I don't want to 0:38:17.040 --> 0:38:21.000 discuss it. Yes, because there's there. I'm there are many, many, 0:38:21.040 --> 0:38:25.040 many situations where a girlfriend sees something or hear something 0:38:25.120 --> 0:38:28.800 and then she tells the friend and the man lies 0:38:28.880 --> 0:38:31.239 and oh no, that didn't happen. She lying, she's lying 0:38:31.600 --> 0:38:34.240 you you don't need to be friends with her anymore, 0:38:34.400 --> 0:38:39.680 and then you're the one, the messenger that's on the Okay. Yes, 0:38:40.120 --> 0:38:43.600 So I feel like it's hard. I think it's on 0:38:43.680 --> 0:38:46.600 the relationship. Depends on the relationship. But if that's your 0:38:46.600 --> 0:38:49.440 good girlfriend, I think it's your right to let her 0:38:49.480 --> 0:38:53.200 know what's going on. So then do you think friends 0:38:53.200 --> 0:38:55.920 should when they kind of start their friendship or at 0:38:55.920 --> 0:38:58.520 some point in their friendship say look, girl, I'm just 0:38:58.560 --> 0:39:00.719 telling you, if you hear some then or see something 0:39:00.760 --> 0:39:02.440 about my man, then tell me, like, do you think 0:39:02.520 --> 0:39:05.120 that should be a spoken that should that be spoken? 0:39:06.200 --> 0:39:07.960 Do you think it should be like, all right, let's 0:39:07.960 --> 0:39:11.360 everybody sit down in the circle and okay, robbing, do 0:39:11.440 --> 0:39:14.600 you want to know? Okay? Do you want to know? Okay, Susie, 0:39:14.600 --> 0:39:16.640 do you want to know? You know what I mean? 0:39:16.719 --> 0:39:19.040 And it's like some people don't want to know. Let's 0:39:19.080 --> 0:39:21.759 write it down. We're gonna take notes so that we know. 0:39:21.880 --> 0:39:24.680 And so then when so when something happens, all you know, 0:39:25.040 --> 0:39:26.719 ten girls in the group and the nine girls get 0:39:26.760 --> 0:39:30.239 on a conference call, are y'all? So? Um, Stephanie says 0:39:30.320 --> 0:39:33.440 she wants to know. So who's going to tell her 0:39:36.040 --> 0:39:38.920 what I'm saying? Like I was, I'm almost considering like 0:39:39.000 --> 0:39:41.960 texting my girlfriends and saying, hey, guys, we need to 0:39:41.960 --> 0:39:43.640 like sit down because they're gonna be like, oh, are 0:39:43.640 --> 0:39:46.080 you talking about my man? You talk my momn Hey 0:39:46.239 --> 0:39:49.799 my man? They came home every night. I know he 0:39:49.840 --> 0:39:52.480 ain't doing it, but I think that should be disclosed. 0:39:52.520 --> 0:39:55.239 I actually think that should be like a girlfriend rule 0:39:55.320 --> 0:39:58.000 because I have had and I'll say like in college, 0:39:58.560 --> 0:40:01.680 um one I was I was pledging Delton, I was 0:40:01.719 --> 0:40:06.080 never around and wand cheated on me. Oh with a 0:40:06.120 --> 0:40:11.719 girl at Maryland and right, I can't breaking news. One 0:40:11.840 --> 0:40:14.320 cheated on me when when we were in college and 0:40:14.680 --> 0:40:17.920 one of so after I crossed, one of my line 0:40:17.920 --> 0:40:22.759 sisters found out and it was a whole like, you know, 0:40:22.920 --> 0:40:26.120 I didn't know that they my out of the ten 0:40:26.239 --> 0:40:29.040 of us, nine of my line sisters are having these 0:40:29.080 --> 0:40:31.160 power owls about what do we do? What do we say? 0:40:32.200 --> 0:40:34.719 You know what I mean? And then and it turned 0:40:34.719 --> 0:40:38.120 into a whole mess because I just needed my one 0:40:38.160 --> 0:40:41.080 line sister to come to me and tell me. But 0:40:41.120 --> 0:40:43.680 then it just turned into it was a mess in 0:40:43.719 --> 0:40:45.840 my relationship with that one line sister was kind of 0:40:45.840 --> 0:40:47.879 messed up for a little bit and blah blah blah 0:40:47.880 --> 0:40:50.880 blah blah, all that that's why, that's why. But you 0:40:50.920 --> 0:40:54.400 pledged Delta, that's a whole another story. But anyway, I mean, no, 0:40:54.719 --> 0:40:56.880 like that's a mess. And the reason why it's a 0:40:56.960 --> 0:40:58.920 mesters because you know they're sitting around talking about you 0:40:59.320 --> 0:41:01.319 for days. But so I feel like if you just 0:41:01.440 --> 0:41:03.360 if everyone just puts it out there in the air, 0:41:03.640 --> 0:41:06.080 you know, to your girlfriend's, to your friend's circle, and say, look, 0:41:06.120 --> 0:41:07.799 this is what it is, so we don't have to 0:41:07.840 --> 0:41:10.560 we can skip that part you know, so tell me 0:41:10.800 --> 0:41:13.279 or don't tell me. It's truck about it. That's true, 0:41:13.320 --> 0:41:15.160 act like you ain't never seen it. Yes, I don't 0:41:15.160 --> 0:41:19.360 need to know. Okay, well I'm telling you now, So 0:41:19.960 --> 0:41:23.319 text message, text message your girlfriend group tonight, y'all and 0:41:23.360 --> 0:41:26.719 make that decision. Do you want to know? Check the boxes? 0:41:27.120 --> 0:41:29.560 And I think that's a good takeaway for everyone listening, Like, 0:41:29.640 --> 0:41:32.120 I think that's a good that's actually like a good 0:41:32.160 --> 0:41:35.200 conversation to have, like when you have your girls night 0:41:35.239 --> 0:41:37.440 and you're drinking wine and and so let's put that 0:41:37.480 --> 0:41:40.960 topic out there. Yes, do you want to know? All right? So, 0:41:41.040 --> 0:41:43.759 typically at the end of our episode, we have our 0:41:43.840 --> 0:41:47.040 reasonably shady people are the week for that episode, but 0:41:47.239 --> 0:41:50.799 today we have some changes. Okay. So we have put 0:41:50.800 --> 0:41:55.160 out to the universe, um, some friendship pet peeves we 0:41:55.239 --> 0:41:57.960 put out there on our social media and you all 0:41:58.080 --> 0:42:01.520 have answered yes and a very big way. Okay, So 0:42:01.680 --> 0:42:05.120 friendship pet peeves is what we're going to be discussing 0:42:05.400 --> 0:42:08.680 on right now. So we're we are going to go 0:42:08.880 --> 0:42:12.480 into let's see, I'm going to tell you the number 0:42:12.520 --> 0:42:17.759 of people that said one uppers what Okay, So okay, 0:42:17.800 --> 0:42:21.360 let's let's talk ab Okay, what what opers is? Hey, girl, 0:42:21.840 --> 0:42:24.520 I just bought a new car. And then you say, 0:42:25.080 --> 0:42:28.080 oh my god, well I'm getting a new car tomorrow, 0:42:28.680 --> 0:42:32.320 and it's going to have I get a new car tomorrow, 0:42:32.600 --> 0:42:35.000 and it is like the Bentley of the Bentley's. Yes, 0:42:35.040 --> 0:42:37.200 I'm the only one that has it. Yes, they only 0:42:37.239 --> 0:42:39.319 made two in the United States and I have one 0:42:39.360 --> 0:42:43.040 and Oprah has the other one, like crazy, or like 0:42:43.200 --> 0:42:44.600 you buy a house and then your friends like, well, 0:42:44.600 --> 0:42:46.759 I'm gonna go buy a house and yes, how many 0:42:46.800 --> 0:42:49.400 square feet is your house? Minus four thousands? Oh? Mineus 0:42:49.480 --> 0:42:53.080 five thousand? Girls like that, like that's some bullshit and 0:42:53.080 --> 0:42:55.719 stop it right, like save it. The thing is like 0:42:55.840 --> 0:42:59.280 your friend. Whenever your friend has some news, like celebrate 0:42:59.320 --> 0:43:01.520 your friend in that moment, make it about your friend, 0:43:02.000 --> 0:43:05.439 let them have their moment, and then okay, a week later, 0:43:05.840 --> 0:43:08.239 if the conversation arises on the same topic, then you 0:43:08.239 --> 0:43:11.480 can share your news. But like, let your friend have 0:43:11.760 --> 0:43:16.520 their moment, yes, and stop talking about yourself. They end, 0:43:17.680 --> 0:43:21.240 which you know leads to a lot of people said, 0:43:21.640 --> 0:43:24.239 um selfishness, okay, so what does that mean? And not 0:43:24.400 --> 0:43:32.040 reciprocating support. So some friends call you when they have 0:43:32.160 --> 0:43:34.319 something going on that they either want to, you know, 0:43:34.360 --> 0:43:38.400 talk about or tell you about. And then when the conversation, 0:43:38.440 --> 0:43:41.359 when that conversation about themselves ends, what a conversation is over. 0:43:41.760 --> 0:43:44.319 And it's like, right, they don't they don't care about 0:43:44.360 --> 0:43:46.440 what's going on in your world. They don't hear about 0:43:46.600 --> 0:43:49.320 you know, I might be a victim of this. And 0:43:49.360 --> 0:43:52.480 I'm gonna tell you why. Everybody knows. I have a 0:43:52.480 --> 0:43:56.359 friend named Cal, and every night me and Cal talk 0:43:56.680 --> 0:43:59.160 and he says, okay, Ages, I'll start talking about you. 0:44:00.280 --> 0:44:04.080 That's how he starts the conversation. And I'm like, it's like, hello, hey, hey, 0:44:04.120 --> 0:44:06.480 al right, start talking about you. Just out just and 0:44:06.520 --> 0:44:08.600 I'm like, cow, no, stop, Like I want to know 0:44:08.600 --> 0:44:11.960 about your day. He's like, the day was good. Okay, 0:44:12.000 --> 0:44:16.680 oh it's it's actually funny now. But it made me 0:44:17.000 --> 0:44:20.160 think like, okay, do I just give him like my 0:44:20.400 --> 0:44:23.560 side of my world? And do I never check in 0:44:23.600 --> 0:44:26.759 with his? And probably? So I am happy that he 0:44:26.800 --> 0:44:29.880 made me aware so that I don't do that anymore. Yes, 0:44:30.200 --> 0:44:33.960 that's good. Another one in this I am so a 0:44:33.960 --> 0:44:37.520 lot of these. I'm starting to reevaluate myself as a 0:44:37.560 --> 0:44:40.080 friend because I'm starting to think I'm a horrible friend. 0:44:40.760 --> 0:44:44.239 Um because people said friends that are late, friends that 0:44:44.239 --> 0:44:48.120 are late, friends that are flakey, Robin Robin can I 0:44:48.200 --> 0:44:51.120 can I tell you like my flake meter is off, 0:44:51.320 --> 0:44:55.879 off the charts, off the chart. I literally one time 0:44:57.480 --> 0:44:59.960 I had it was going to Las Vegas to celebrate 0:45:00.000 --> 0:45:03.560 a friend's birthday. Huh like New Year's Eve, Las Vegas. 0:45:03.920 --> 0:45:06.239 I didn't feel like packing, so I didn't go. Did 0:45:06.280 --> 0:45:08.440 you have a ticket? Yes, I did a ticket. Hotel 0:45:08.520 --> 0:45:11.520 room I pay. Here's here's my portion for the hotel 0:45:11.640 --> 0:45:14.440 room I'll get you know all that. I'm like, I 0:45:14.480 --> 0:45:17.840 don't feel like packing. I'm not going. Rob is the worst, worst, 0:45:18.160 --> 0:45:21.719 the worst. You have to do better. You have to 0:45:22.320 --> 0:45:24.200 do better, but at least you pay. Because my pet 0:45:24.239 --> 0:45:26.719 peeve is my friends that don't want to pay for that. 0:45:27.320 --> 0:45:31.680 All right, y'all bitches are broke, okay, and I'm mad 0:45:31.760 --> 0:45:34.919 at it, and Gazelle ain't gonna continue to pay. See 0:45:34.960 --> 0:45:37.399 that's the thing. I will. I will pay just so 0:45:37.440 --> 0:45:40.360 we can eliminate that grape. Like, okay, you know what 0:45:40.360 --> 0:45:41.680 I'm saying, Like, I don't need you to be mad 0:45:41.719 --> 0:45:43.840 because I flaked and I didn't pay, you know, so 0:45:44.280 --> 0:45:47.919 let me just uh yeah, let me let me pay 0:45:47.960 --> 0:45:52.040 for your love. Yeah. No, I'm not that. I'm sick 0:45:52.080 --> 0:45:55.719 of it. Okay, I'm sick of it. So guess what. 0:45:55.840 --> 0:45:58.520 Anybody who does not contribute from here on out, y'all 0:45:58.560 --> 0:46:01.279 not my friends, A nomore relationship is over? Oh yeah 0:46:01.320 --> 0:46:08.680 for sure? Um another one guilty not texting back? Like 0:46:08.719 --> 0:46:10.520 what you mean you don't give a thumbs up or 0:46:10.880 --> 0:46:14.480 smiley face, or you don't text back at all sometimes 0:46:14.920 --> 0:46:19.640 because you know why, that's horrible. I need iPhone to 0:46:19.680 --> 0:46:24.000 hear me. Listen to me, iPhone, I Apple, I need 0:46:24.080 --> 0:46:27.879 you to please give us the feature of marking our 0:46:27.960 --> 0:46:34.239 text messages as unread because sometimes I'm driving or I'm 0:46:34.280 --> 0:46:37.160 doing something and I can't respond right away, and I 0:46:37.200 --> 0:46:40.160 just want to mark my text message unread. But because 0:46:40.440 --> 0:46:43.279 I don't have the ability to do that. Yes, there's 0:46:43.280 --> 0:46:47.239 a there's a dot. No you can't market At the 0:46:47.280 --> 0:46:49.560 top it says how many you Okay, alright, go ahead, 0:46:50.000 --> 0:46:52.480 So it's like once you look at it, it's like 0:46:52.760 --> 0:46:56.880 either respond now or forever hold your peace. Okay. And 0:46:57.480 --> 0:47:01.840 I have a problem with a little scatter brained, a 0:47:01.920 --> 0:47:05.040 little little yeah, a little I'm a little scatter brained 0:47:05.080 --> 0:47:07.680 and distracted. I get distracted very easily, and so like 0:47:07.960 --> 0:47:09.960 you know, I might open my phone and then like 0:47:11.480 --> 0:47:14.839 be like, oh let me, let me text Nicole back. 0:47:15.120 --> 0:47:21.120 And then I opened Instagram and just start Then I 0:47:21.239 --> 0:47:24.719 started scrolling and then I forget why I opened my phone. Yes, okay, 0:47:24.760 --> 0:47:26.880 I do do that too, but then you have to lie. 0:47:26.640 --> 0:47:29.560 I do try to like, yeah, robb me, you're the worst. 0:47:29.560 --> 0:47:32.520 So do you go back to your text messages and 0:47:32.800 --> 0:47:34.239 like go through them and say, okay, who do I 0:47:34.239 --> 0:47:36.440 need to reply to? Yeah? Am I am? I all 0:47:36.520 --> 0:47:39.439 good on my text messages. At some point in the day, 0:47:39.719 --> 0:47:41.239 I try to go through and make sure like the 0:47:41.280 --> 0:47:46.200 top text messages I've even responded to, or I've checked 0:47:46.239 --> 0:47:48.160 to make sure that I've responded to, or whatever the 0:47:48.200 --> 0:47:50.520 case means. So how many unread text messages do you have? 0:47:50.560 --> 0:47:52.600 So so right now I have none because that drives 0:47:52.600 --> 0:47:56.160 me insane. So I have um and we're gonna look, okay, okay, 0:47:56.200 --> 0:47:59.040 I'm gonna pull my little phone. I have three Okay, 0:47:59.120 --> 0:48:04.120 so I have to to five and what yes, I 0:48:04.160 --> 0:48:06.040 have twenty five? Or I'm gonna delete this one because 0:48:06.080 --> 0:48:09.360 that's like a alert and you. You can actually you 0:48:09.360 --> 0:48:12.720 can only see three on my screen, so that means 0:48:12.880 --> 0:48:16.520 the rest are like, so, Robin, I see this, this, 0:48:16.520 --> 0:48:20.719 this one, Oh my god, April three. Okay, So for 0:48:20.880 --> 0:48:23.960 the record, okay, so sometimes I'll text you right and 0:48:24.040 --> 0:48:29.279 you won't respond, and so I'm assuming you are on 0:48:29.320 --> 0:48:31.719 the phone or something like you're doing something else, like 0:48:31.760 --> 0:48:35.440 you're talking on the phone possibly or whatever. But I 0:48:35.440 --> 0:48:37.200 thought you were really doing something. I didn't know you 0:48:37.239 --> 0:48:41.680 were just ignoring me. This is a new level to 0:48:41.719 --> 0:48:48.759 our friends. I wouldn't call it ignoring sometimes. Okay, some 0:48:48.760 --> 0:48:53.240 some of these people I ignored that do better, Robin, 0:48:53.400 --> 0:48:57.719 just do better, just do better. But it's not that 0:48:57.760 --> 0:48:59.840 I didn't ignore them on I don't know what it 0:48:59.880 --> 0:49:03.640 is like. I literally might sit on the couch and 0:49:03.680 --> 0:49:06.279 be like, oh, I need to respond, and then and 0:49:06.280 --> 0:49:11.399 then she starts watching the view the end. Someone out 0:49:11.440 --> 0:49:15.440 there relates. I know that. And then you know why 0:49:15.440 --> 0:49:17.879 I know someone out there relates because I had so 0:49:17.920 --> 0:49:20.880 many people on Instagram respond that their pet peeves when 0:49:20.920 --> 0:49:24.120 their friend does not text them back. Yes, okay, okay, 0:49:24.280 --> 0:49:28.000 so friends, can I tell you the story? Can I 0:49:28.000 --> 0:49:30.120 tell you another story? And we have to wrap it up. 0:49:30.120 --> 0:49:32.280 I had a friend that texted me and I didn't respond, 0:49:32.320 --> 0:49:34.160 and then she text me again and I didn't respond. 0:49:34.239 --> 0:49:36.680 It text me. It wasn't that I wasn't like I 0:49:36.719 --> 0:49:39.960 wasn't ignoring her. I was just busy, right, and then 0:49:39.960 --> 0:49:42.160 she started like going crazy and like calling, calling, calling 0:49:42.200 --> 0:49:45.600 and calling one and so then it turns into like, Okay, 0:49:45.640 --> 0:49:52.640 I'm now I'm purposely not responding rob It is a 0:49:52.760 --> 0:49:56.720 four year old child, and she's rebelling. Okay, she's rebelling 0:49:56.719 --> 0:49:58.799 against her friend that just wants to talk to, just 0:49:58.800 --> 0:50:02.319 wants to make sure I'm going, Oh my gosh, so um. Yeah, 0:50:02.440 --> 0:50:04.200 one of the things that's adults. One of the pet 0:50:04.200 --> 0:50:07.239 peeves adults acting like petty teens. Yes, and that would 0:50:07.239 --> 0:50:09.880 be Robin Dixon. Okay, but she's good. I'm so happy 0:50:09.920 --> 0:50:12.040 that we had this episode today because we've been able 0:50:12.080 --> 0:50:15.840 to pick apart why Robin needs to do better? What 0:50:15.960 --> 0:50:18.399 about you? I need to do better too. I don't. 0:50:18.600 --> 0:50:21.040 I don't get deep. I don't. I just I just 0:50:21.040 --> 0:50:22.920 want to know what the weather is. Your list is 0:50:22.960 --> 0:50:25.680 a little longer than my, okay, but I mean mine 0:50:25.680 --> 0:50:31.480 are like fixable. Okay. Anyway, I believe that is our 0:50:31.560 --> 0:50:36.600 episode for today. We are reasonably Shady, and I think 0:50:36.880 --> 0:50:40.399 I think today you might be shady. Robin. I might 0:50:40.440 --> 0:50:44.080 be told a little bit too much my friends. Yes, 0:50:44.480 --> 0:50:48.680 and I think Giselle might be reasonable Hold no, oh 0:50:48.680 --> 0:50:53.040 my gosh. Right, but we so appreciate you all listening. 0:50:53.160 --> 0:50:55.480 I think that our next episode, we don't know what 0:50:55.480 --> 0:50:57.279 our next episode is going to be, but I do 0:50:57.360 --> 0:51:00.560 believe we might have a guest, so you guys have 0:51:00.640 --> 0:51:03.120 to stay tuned. Thank you so much for listening to us. 0:51:03.120 --> 0:51:05.520 This is Reasonably Shady. I am Giselle Bryants and I 0:51:05.560 --> 0:51:16.320 am Robin Dixon. Hey, we're out. We love y'all. Reasonably 0:51:16.360 --> 0:51:20.200 Shady is a production of the Black Affect podcast Network. 0:51:20.480 --> 0:51:23.239 For more podcasts from our Heart Radio, visit the I 0:51:23.400 --> 0:51:26.480 Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to 0:51:26.560 --> 0:51:29.400 your favorite shows, and you can connect with us on 0:51:29.440 --> 0:51:38.640 social media at Robin Dixonton, Giselle Briant, and Reasonably Shady.