WEBVTT - Lab 003: Lie to Me 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.800 What's the last lie you told? I generally don't lie. 0:00:02.840 --> 0:00:06.359 I feel like I'm an honest person. So so that lie? 0:00:06.559 --> 0:00:08.319 What lie that you just told? 0:00:13.240 --> 0:00:16.000 I feel like if you want to call trying to 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:19.520 make someone happy a lie, then. 0:00:19.320 --> 0:00:22.160 Then yes, you're lying. It's a lie. Regardless of your intention, 0:00:22.520 --> 0:00:25.240 you're lying. I don't. I don't think that's how that works. 0:00:25.280 --> 0:00:27.400 I can tell when you're lying. You always go. 0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:31.360 Like, yeah, it looks good, Yeah, come on, it'll be fine. 0:00:31.520 --> 0:00:33.479 I think you should wear that outfit. And so whenever 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:36.640 you start climbing those octaves, I know you're lying. 0:00:36.760 --> 0:00:38.760 To be kind, I think that there are good lies 0:00:38.800 --> 0:00:40.640 and there are bad lies, and I think I tell 0:00:41.040 --> 0:00:42.240 nothing but good lies. 0:00:42.680 --> 0:00:48.960 Glinda the good Witch, still a witch. I'm t T 0:00:49.200 --> 0:00:50.400 and I'm Zachiah. 0:00:50.040 --> 0:01:06.920 And from Spotify Studios. This is Dope Labs. 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:10.400 Hey friend, Hey banana breadhead. 0:01:10.680 --> 0:01:15.200 Okay, listen, I shared on the last episode, and y'all 0:01:15.240 --> 0:01:16.880 out here calling name on the comment. 0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:20.119 Oh y'all been roasting in the comment and I am 0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:23.280 bid up. We said it was a safe space, but 0:01:23.319 --> 0:01:24.120 my god. 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:25.520 Do we need to lay out the rules for that? 0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:29.840 These comments really made me smile, but it also reignited 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:33.639 the kid's frustration in that moment, and so she's upset all. 0:01:33.520 --> 0:01:35.960 Over again with tt not with y'all. 0:01:36.080 --> 0:01:38.920 Okay, banana breadhead, Let's get to today's topic. 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:43.040 What are we talking about today? Today, we're talking about lies. 0:01:43.319 --> 0:01:46.560 America doesn't run on duncan It runs on lies. That's right, 0:01:47.720 --> 0:01:48.600 who run the world? 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:53.040 Lies? People have been lying for a long time, though. 0:01:53.120 --> 0:01:55.559 I remember an episode of The Flint Song where Fred 0:01:55.600 --> 0:02:00.680 Flinstone lied to Wilma and said that he had lost 0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:03.440 his wallet when really he had lost all his money 0:02:03.440 --> 0:02:06.920 in a poker game. Yep, Who's gonna get bronis Sorosberger's propeller. 0:02:07.440 --> 0:02:09.760 Even though people have been lying since the Flotstone days, 0:02:09.840 --> 0:02:12.040 it does feel like lately things have been getting worse. 0:02:12.240 --> 0:02:12.520 Lately. 0:02:12.560 --> 0:02:14.440 I've been feeling like some of these lies that are 0:02:14.440 --> 0:02:17.680 being told on the Internet are ratcheting up to a 0:02:17.760 --> 0:02:20.919 whole new level that we have never seen before. 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:22.520 The stuff with Jesse. 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:25.560 Smullett, Oh gosh, I mean, we don't want that to 0:02:25.560 --> 0:02:28.440 be true, Like we hope that he's not lying, but 0:02:28.600 --> 0:02:29.919 if he is, but. 0:02:29.919 --> 0:02:30.960 He's not the only one. Line. 0:02:31.200 --> 0:02:33.080 If he is lying, he's not the only one because 0:02:33.080 --> 0:02:36.440 at First, the Chicago Police Department said he paid these guys. 0:02:36.480 --> 0:02:37.160 We have the check. 0:02:37.520 --> 0:02:39.600 Then they released the image of the check and it 0:02:39.639 --> 0:02:43.639 says on the memo line personal training. Huh, I would 0:02:43.680 --> 0:02:46.040 pay trainers for personal training, right, and I would use. 0:02:45.919 --> 0:02:47.919 A check to do that. Well, I don't use personal 0:02:47.960 --> 0:02:52.720 checks neither. It's twenty nineteen exactly, you don't have venmo. 0:02:53.880 --> 0:02:56.640 And then there's this whole messy triangle with Tristan Thompson 0:02:56.680 --> 0:02:58.160 and Chloyd Kardashian and Jordan. 0:02:57.960 --> 0:03:01.160 Woods right right, Jordan's said that she lied to Chloe 0:03:01.240 --> 0:03:03.400 about what happened that night because she was trying to 0:03:03.440 --> 0:03:06.519 protect her, and so she's saying it feels like more 0:03:06.520 --> 0:03:07.800 of a nuanced lie. 0:03:07.880 --> 0:03:09.799 Would you call that a Glinda the good Witch line 0:03:09.919 --> 0:03:11.799 in that case? No, that's not a Glinda the good 0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:13.480 Witch lie. Okay, that's a lie. 0:03:13.520 --> 0:03:15.920 And so then the question is have we always been 0:03:16.000 --> 0:03:18.480 lying this much and now the internet's just catching us 0:03:18.480 --> 0:03:20.120 in our messy webs or. 0:03:20.680 --> 0:03:24.120 Has the barometer for what's socially acceptable shifted? 0:03:24.280 --> 0:03:26.920 It's like, now we're accepting it more. Everybody's lying. So 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:28.520 it's just like, huh, okay, and not. 0:03:28.560 --> 0:03:32.559 Just accepting it, but like propping those folks up, exalting 0:03:32.600 --> 0:03:34.440 those people that are telling those you should. 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:38.080 Be a congressman, you know what, you should be president? 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:42.680 Right, everybody's lying, and we're just like, oh, okay, sure, sure, 0:03:42.840 --> 0:03:43.720 including you all. 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:45.800 We ask you guys on Instagram to let us know 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:49.160 what your best, worst, and biggest lies you've ever told. 0:03:49.480 --> 0:03:51.400 Then a lot of you responded, I like this one. 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:53.800 Somebody said I'm getting food for me and my husband, 0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:56.400 but they were really just ordering two meals for themselves. 0:03:56.440 --> 0:03:59.640 Another person said, I told my parents I was still 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:01.320 a verse when I got married. 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:04.760 Somebody said that they've lied about having plans instead of 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:06.720 telling somebody they didn't just want to deal with their drama. 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:09.680 This person said the lie that they told was it 0:04:09.720 --> 0:04:11.360 was one time I swear it's over. 0:04:13.280 --> 0:04:14.640 Oh here's a lie biomission. 0:04:14.840 --> 0:04:17.680 Somebody says I didn't precisely lie, but I just didn't 0:04:17.680 --> 0:04:29.359 tell because the person didn't ask, right, So let's start. 0:04:29.200 --> 0:04:32.839 The recitation with what we know, which is that everybody lies. 0:04:33.080 --> 0:04:35.680 A twenty fifteen study published in the Dreurnal Act of 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:39.000 Psychological found that half of people between the ages of 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:43.039 eighteen and forty four, so most of y'all tell one 0:04:43.080 --> 0:04:46.440 to five lies per day, but we also know that 0:04:46.480 --> 0:04:49.559 when it comes to lying, there are varying degrees. Lying 0:04:49.680 --> 0:04:51.520 is not a one size fits all activity. 0:04:51.720 --> 0:04:53.920 So Zekiah, what type of liar do you think you are? 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:57.040 I'm prone to hyperbole, like similar to soldier boy, you know, 0:04:57.200 --> 0:04:59.960 like I feel like if somebody has on the outfit. 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:02.440 You remember when we were all going out that time, yes, 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:05.320 and my friend didn't have she didn't have a clothes 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:05.760 to go out. 0:05:05.839 --> 0:05:07.240 She was like, I don't know, can I wear this? 0:05:07.279 --> 0:05:08.640 I don't even remember what it was. It was something 0:05:08.680 --> 0:05:12.520 that was like a screen printed tea and just some 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:15.120 regular jeans, and I was like, you're gonna be edgy. 0:05:15.240 --> 0:05:17.200 Yep, I'm versed out laughing because I was just like, 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:18.080 oh my goodness. 0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:19.080 And that was hyperbole. 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:21.400 Like the most accurate thing to say was you're going 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:23.200 to be dressed different from the other people at the bar, 0:05:23.360 --> 0:05:24.440 right you. 0:05:24.400 --> 0:05:27.120 Will stand out slightly because most people will not be 0:05:27.160 --> 0:05:27.640 wearing that. 0:05:28.160 --> 0:05:31.000 But I think it is okay, and to me it 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:33.440 is okay. Yeah, she wore, she wore and she was 0:05:33.560 --> 0:05:35.400 just fine. What about you? What kind of lies do 0:05:35.480 --> 0:05:35.960 you spind? 0:05:35.960 --> 0:05:37.520 I feel like the types of lies that I tell 0:05:37.760 --> 0:05:41.680 are always just never that big of a deal, Like 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:44.360 it's always like, yeah, it would be like somebody made 0:05:44.360 --> 0:05:46.960 some type of food and I take a bite and 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:48.960 I don't like it, but I know that they worked 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:51.440 really hard on it. I was like, it's really good. 0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:53.520 I really like it, and I will eat the whole thing. 0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:56.359 And I feel like that is a good lie. I 0:05:56.400 --> 0:05:58.400 think there's good lives and bad lives, and I think 0:05:58.440 --> 0:06:00.520 I only tell good lies because I'm just trying to. 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:04.040 Make people feel good. Doesn't that count for something? 0:06:04.120 --> 0:06:06.000 It counts for something, But now it makes me dumb. 0:06:06.000 --> 0:06:07.680 I have to look you right into the pupil when 0:06:07.800 --> 0:06:10.279 No tell me something he's a good cook. I've never 0:06:10.560 --> 0:06:11.880 not be like, peel your eyelids back. 0:06:11.960 --> 0:06:13.479 Let me see. Is it the truth? Is that how 0:06:13.520 --> 0:06:15.560 you really feel? Did you really like it? But nah? 0:06:15.640 --> 0:06:18.719 Man, I feel like some lies are okay. And I 0:06:18.760 --> 0:06:21.400 think that when you're trying to make somebody feel good 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:24.800 about themselves that you should get a pass on that lie. 0:06:25.160 --> 0:06:31.679 Hmmm, this is feeling very situational under which conditions? 0:06:31.920 --> 0:06:34.120 Well, okay, maybe that's a good question for us to 0:06:34.120 --> 0:06:37.400 answer today, Like is it ever okay to tell a lie. 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:39.839 Yeah, And I want to know what's going on inside 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:41.200 our brains when we tell a lot? 0:06:41.279 --> 0:06:44.480 And also like why do we lie? What's the motivation 0:06:44.640 --> 0:06:45.159 behind it? 0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:47.719 Are people born liars? Or do you become one based 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:49.599 on your surroundings and how you grow up? So like 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:50.960 nature verse nurture, So. 0:06:50.920 --> 0:06:53.200 Like if your mama's a liar, is you going to be. 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:58.000 A whole family liar? They got bad blood? Lion blood, 0:06:58.160 --> 0:06:59.719 that's that lion family down the street. 0:06:59.839 --> 0:07:02.160 And then why do we choose to believe lies even 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:04.640 when we know that they're not true? She not answering 0:07:04.640 --> 0:07:06.760 the phone and it ain't cut. She out with her girls. Okay, 0:07:07.000 --> 0:07:10.120 so let's find out. Today's guest for our dissection is 0:07:10.200 --> 0:07:10.960 Yamede House. 0:07:11.040 --> 0:07:14.280 My name is Yamedae House and I am a nationally 0:07:14.320 --> 0:07:16.480 board certified clinical counselor. 0:07:16.560 --> 0:07:19.480 A Yamade started her career in school counseling, working with 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:22.720 at risk youth while earning her master's degree. During that time, 0:07:22.760 --> 0:07:25.720 she did her practicum at a women's maximum security prison and. 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:30.160 It was women from all walks of life, like nurses 0:07:30.320 --> 0:07:34.480 and it folks and you know, like people with master's 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:36.680 degrees and then people with no degrees, you know. 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:39.760 And that's what inspired her to focus specifically on women's work. 0:07:39.880 --> 0:07:42.160 And Yamede has been working with women on all sorts 0:07:42.160 --> 0:07:44.200 of issues for over five years. And one of the 0:07:44.240 --> 0:07:46.160 first things she told us is that there are no 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:50.400 accidental liars right. Lying is not as easy as you 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:50.960 would think. 0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:54.640 Basically, the brain does more work to lie than it 0:07:54.680 --> 0:07:55.600 does to tell the truth. 0:07:55.680 --> 0:07:57.920 So let's say I ask you a question, for instance, 0:07:58.000 --> 0:07:59.920 do you like the meal I prepare for you this evening, 0:08:00.040 --> 0:08:01.000 and then you decide to. 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:03.560 Lie to me. I feel like you're targeting me. 0:08:04.240 --> 0:08:07.440 This may be true, but a Yamade says it's a 0:08:07.480 --> 0:08:09.440 fourth step process to tell a lie. 0:08:09.560 --> 0:08:12.200 The first step is that I know the truth in 0:08:12.280 --> 0:08:14.600 my head. Now, I told you that I love your cooking. 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:17.000 But for the sake of explanation, let's say that I 0:08:17.040 --> 0:08:22.240 find the food a little bit SALTYA. 0:08:20.600 --> 0:08:24.040 Okay, what's the second step. Your brain's gotta decide if 0:08:24.080 --> 0:08:25.320 it wants to tell the truth. 0:08:25.680 --> 0:08:30.080 So, like I imagine saying it's a little salty, and 0:08:30.120 --> 0:08:32.480 you get really mad and it makes me feel a 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:34.680 certain way, and I don't want to feel that way, 0:08:34.760 --> 0:08:38.040 So I decide I'm gonna say something else, which brings 0:08:38.080 --> 0:08:39.040 us to the third step. 0:08:39.280 --> 0:08:41.880 Then you will have to create the new fact. So 0:08:41.920 --> 0:08:44.200 your brain comes up with a new narrative that's actually 0:08:44.200 --> 0:08:46.080 the opposite of how you feel about my food. 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:50.120 And finally I open my mouth and I say the lies, 0:08:50.200 --> 0:08:52.000 something like, this is the best. 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:54.360 Meal I've ever had in my life. And don't forget 0:08:54.360 --> 0:08:56.199 to turn it up a few octaves. You know how 0:08:56.240 --> 0:08:59.360 you do, right, I have to become peek at you 0:09:01.280 --> 0:09:04.800 my life according to you. That's exactly how so the 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:05.600 process takes. 0:09:05.440 --> 0:09:07.760 Twice as much brain power as it does to tell 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:10.280 the truth. When I'm telling the truth, I have the 0:09:10.320 --> 0:09:12.400 thought the food is salty, and I just say it. 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:15.160 The food is salty, but my food isn't. Okay, soakia 0:09:15.320 --> 0:09:17.640 it was the best meal I ever had. Perfect. 0:09:18.040 --> 0:09:20.480 But even after you tell the lie, your work's not over. 0:09:20.640 --> 0:09:23.240 In fact, you're now creating even more work for your brain. 0:09:23.400 --> 0:09:26.839 Line is stress. You have to keep up the lie. 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:31.000 You have to be able to remember and access all 0:09:31.080 --> 0:09:32.520 the lies that you've told. 0:09:32.640 --> 0:09:34.880 Basically, our mind just becomes a rolodex of lies, and 0:09:34.920 --> 0:09:36.800 anytime someone asks you a new question, you have to 0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:39.360 shuffle through all those cars to make sure your answer 0:09:39.480 --> 0:09:41.480 is in line with all of the FIBs you've been 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:42.120 telling people. 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:44.720 What I want to know is is what's actually going 0:09:44.800 --> 0:09:47.640 on inside of my brain when I'm telling this lie, 0:09:48.040 --> 0:09:50.479 like which parts of my brain are being activated? 0:09:50.600 --> 0:09:53.199 All right, let's zoom in for the purpose of today's lab. 0:09:53.200 --> 0:09:54.560 We're gonna think of the brain as made up of 0:09:54.600 --> 0:09:57.280 two main components, the white matter in the middle, and 0:09:57.320 --> 0:09:59.640 then the gray matter that's all around it on the outside. 0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:02.480 Gray matter is made up of nerve cells in your brain, 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:07.040 and nerve cells receive and process stimuli or signals from 0:10:07.080 --> 0:10:10.560 outside or inside your body, and then they tell your 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:13.040 body how to react. For example, if you touch a 0:10:13.040 --> 0:10:16.040 hot stove, the nerve cell will process that stove is 0:10:16.080 --> 0:10:18.760 hot and direct your body to pull your finger away. 0:10:19.080 --> 0:10:20.920 But the nerve cells don't work without being able to 0:10:20.920 --> 0:10:23.079 communicate with each other. In order for them to talk 0:10:23.080 --> 0:10:24.959 to each other, they have to send messages, and the 0:10:25.040 --> 0:10:28.000 space through which they send those messages that's your white matter. 0:10:28.480 --> 0:10:30.240 The white matter in your brain is sort of like 0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:33.720 a rubber coating around a copper wire. It insulates the 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:36.440 gray matter and helps ensure the messages get where they 0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:38.280 need to go. The more white matter you have, the 0:10:38.320 --> 0:10:40.640 stronger the connections between those nerve cells and different parts 0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:41.160 of your brain. 0:10:41.559 --> 0:10:44.959 And as Yamade says, there's also a connection between white 0:10:44.960 --> 0:10:47.679 matter and the brain and lying. There is some science 0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:51.400 behind it that says that people who have more white 0:10:51.440 --> 0:10:54.640 matter in their brain it's easier for them to lie. 0:10:54.840 --> 0:10:58.080 That makes sense because lying is work, and white matter 0:10:58.160 --> 0:10:59.920 makes it easier for your brain to do all the 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:01.920 mental gymnastics needed to lie. 0:11:02.000 --> 0:11:04.000 And there are studies that say it's actually possible to 0:11:04.040 --> 0:11:05.960 increase the amount of white matter in your brain, like 0:11:06.000 --> 0:11:08.320 if you exercise more or learn a new skill. The 0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:10.480 same is true for lying. The more your brain does it, 0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:12.679 the more white matter you create, and the easier it gets. 0:11:12.920 --> 0:11:15.320 So you just keep laying those bricks building a house 0:11:15.320 --> 0:11:15.760 of lies. 0:11:15.880 --> 0:11:18.280 So you keep practicing, and pretty soon you'll be what 0:11:18.400 --> 0:11:21.559 Kobe Bryant is to basketball, the black Mamba of liars. 0:11:21.880 --> 0:11:24.120 Right, this is like a new first date question. So 0:11:24.120 --> 0:11:25.680 I'm gonna be saying, I'm gonna ask people like, do 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:27.360 you know your white matter percentage? 0:11:27.520 --> 0:11:30.040 Right? Have you? When was your last MRI skin? Right? 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:33.679 If it's so much work, then why do we lie? 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:36.760 Yamade says, there's two main reasons why we're lying to 0:11:36.800 --> 0:11:40.040 each other. When we talk about it from a psychological standpoint, 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:41.840 it's about power and control. 0:11:41.880 --> 0:11:44.040 You're either controlling what you want people to feel or do, 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:46.040 or you're trying to gain some power as it relates 0:11:46.040 --> 0:11:47.280 to what you can and can't attain. 0:11:47.559 --> 0:11:51.280 Like another meal at my house. I'm always down for 0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:52.480 another meal at your house. 0:11:52.720 --> 0:11:56.720 So when even if it's something minute, like when somebody says, hey, 0:11:56.880 --> 0:11:59.320 how are you, when you're saying, oh, I'm fine, things 0:11:59.360 --> 0:12:04.239 are good and things are terrible, for instance, you're controlling 0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:06.880 the situation. You're trying to control the conversation so people 0:12:06.920 --> 0:12:07.960 don't dig any deeper. 0:12:08.360 --> 0:12:09.679 I knew it all this time. 0:12:09.760 --> 0:12:12.040 You've been telling me my outfit looks good or you 0:12:12.200 --> 0:12:14.560 like my food, and you've been controlling me while everybody 0:12:14.559 --> 0:12:15.640 thinks that you're the good guy. 0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:18.760 But what about power though? How do people use lying 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:21.640 as a power move? When do you think about power 0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:25.040 and lying? Let's take the best example. 0:12:25.120 --> 0:12:26.760 We have the president. 0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:28.880 He is the most powerful man in the world, and 0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:31.959 he continues to lie about winning the popular vote, about 0:12:31.960 --> 0:12:34.000 how many people showed up to his inauguration, or you 0:12:34.040 --> 0:12:36.839 know Russia, Why because if he tells the. 0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:39.920 Truth, the truth that he be lying, then in the 0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:43.680 simplest form, his power may diminish because he's no longer 0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:44.479 an authority. 0:12:44.679 --> 0:12:44.839 Right. 0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:47.440 That's the reason why he's so like gung ho about 0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:50.200 this whole wall thing. And he told everyone that he 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:52.480 was going to build this wall and that Mexico was 0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:55.280 going to pay for it. And if he doesn't build 0:12:55.320 --> 0:12:57.439 this wall, then in his mind he feels like he's 0:12:57.440 --> 0:12:59.800 going to lose some type of power. At this point, 0:12:59.840 --> 0:13:02.000 I think he'll say that anything is a wall, just 0:13:02.040 --> 0:13:04.120 to maintain that it could be a bed of roses, 0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:06.040 and he'll be like, my wall is working. 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:09.960 So now we understand the motivation behind lying and what's 0:13:10.000 --> 0:13:12.080 going on in your brain when you do lie. When 0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:13.520 we come back from the break, we're going to talk 0:13:13.520 --> 0:13:15.440 about the more extreme side of lying, the kind of 0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:17.320 line that can affect the course of your life or 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:37.280 land you in jail. Stay tuned, so we're back and 0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:39.400 ready to talk about the more extreme side of line. 0:13:39.720 --> 0:13:42.600 So everybody lies, and you know, for some people is 0:13:42.600 --> 0:13:45.280 more extreme than for others. But for a smaller subset 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:47.720 of people, lying is a symptom of something bigger. 0:13:47.760 --> 0:13:52.720 There are some diagnoses where lying is a symptom or 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:56.240 a behavior of the diagnoses. These diagnoses that a Yamide 0:13:56.360 --> 0:13:59.400 is talking about fall under the category of personality disorders. 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:03.320 A personalorder is a deeply ingrained pattern of behavior that 0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:06.120 makes it really hard for people to have long term 0:14:06.160 --> 0:14:10.599 relationships or function in society. The most common personality disorders 0:14:10.640 --> 0:14:16.160 include antisocial personality disorder, which is also called sociopathy, and narcissism. 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:20.720 The difference between the narcissist and someone who was a sociopath. 0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:24.960 The narcissist wants to be grand. When you think about it, 0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:27.800 like you are trying. You are so insecure, you feel 0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:30.880 so bad about who you are and what you do 0:14:31.040 --> 0:14:33.000 or do not have, and you are trying to create 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:36.320 this grander sense of self. So for narcissists, it's really 0:14:36.360 --> 0:14:39.840 about making yourself look really popping in the public eye, 0:14:39.880 --> 0:14:42.880 So making yourself look like you diddy when you're really not. 0:14:43.240 --> 0:14:45.680 Like Billy McFarland from The Fire Festival. 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:47.720 When you watch the documentary, like all of a sudden, 0:14:47.720 --> 0:14:50.800 he started buying like Mazaratis, and he wanted to be 0:14:50.880 --> 0:14:53.600 a celebrity, and he wanted to rub elbows and he 0:14:54.040 --> 0:14:54.600 had all. 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:57.160 This prestige, And this is just a disclaimer. 0:14:57.320 --> 0:15:01.240 Yamaday is not Billy's counselor, and we're not diagnosing him 0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:02.600 with a personality disorder. 0:15:02.960 --> 0:15:04.359 We're not those kind of doctors. 0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:08.160 When I saw the sheer levels of I'm just trying 0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:10.160 to get this money, I don't care about y'all lies that. 0:15:10.120 --> 0:15:13.360 Were being told exactly, I could not believe it. 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:17.480 How can you sit there and tell these bold face 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:22.320 lies when you have taken tens of thousands of dollars 0:15:22.320 --> 0:15:25.880 from people and you know for a fact that this 0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:29.800 thing ain't happening, and you're still like, cute, up the music, turn. 0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:31.920 It up, loud, turn the music up. I'm like, Broy, 0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:34.320 you can't play the music over that. There's no ten 0:15:34.480 --> 0:15:37.120 for these people. There's no villain. You gave me a 0:15:37.200 --> 0:15:39.760 cheese sandwich and I paid ten thousand dollars to come here. 0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:42.360 Right, I was thinking about the Ballou challenge, right when 0:15:42.400 --> 0:15:44.960 Balow got caught posting a bunch of lies on Instagram, 0:15:45.000 --> 0:15:47.920 trying to stunt in the streets. So did you see 0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:50.120 where they're showing people in this other I can't remember 0:15:50.160 --> 0:15:52.200 what country it is, but like they're paying to go 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:55.120 and take pictures of themselves on private jets, but they 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:58.640 never leave the runway, like just to look like I'm 0:15:58.680 --> 0:15:59.360 out here. 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:04.240 Yeah, man, And that is typical narcissistic behavior. But for sociopaths, 0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:06.080 the motivation is a little bit different. 0:16:06.200 --> 0:16:09.480 Our sociopaths are going to be people who will lie 0:16:10.160 --> 0:16:13.000 because they have no conscience, so they don't care how 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:15.360 it makes you feel, because at the end of the day, 0:16:16.040 --> 0:16:20.200 it's about self preservation. Sociopaths don't have empathy, and that's 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:23.400 the ability to stand in someone else's shoes and understand 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:26.320 how they feel. This means they can lie without feeling 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:29.440 any of the guilt or remorse that many people experience. 0:16:29.680 --> 0:16:32.880 Still, sociopaths can be really hard to spot. So basically, 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:38.840 people who are sociopaths tend to be extremely charismatic. They 0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:43.560 know how they're supposed to act. Lots of times, sociopaths 0:16:43.560 --> 0:16:48.800 have the inability to create to create meaningful relationships, so 0:16:48.880 --> 0:16:51.840 they might be a really nice person, but nine times 0:16:51.840 --> 0:16:53.400 out of time they don't have any friends. So you 0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:56.320 may be thinking, these are such terrible people. We see 0:16:56.360 --> 0:16:57.600 you over there judging, But. 0:16:57.560 --> 0:17:00.800 From a scientific perspective, there's some important content to think about. 0:17:00.840 --> 0:17:03.560 That actually makes these people a pretty fascinating group. 0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:07.320 Biology does not make any mistakes. There are sociopaths for 0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:12.280 a reason. Sociopaths are always going to make sure that 0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:14.400 they will survive, and they. 0:17:14.320 --> 0:17:17.560 Will when it's the zombie apocalypse. I need somebody who's 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:20.280 gonna save the human race. Not out here trying to 0:17:20.280 --> 0:17:23.119 save a pregnant soundra Bullock right from the cus. 0:17:22.960 --> 0:17:24.840 Like bird box, right exactly. 0:17:25.200 --> 0:17:28.159 We don't need any tender ronies. It's time for a 0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:33.760 rough ride up right right. So regardless of why someone 0:17:33.840 --> 0:17:36.680 is lying, what about the people that are receiving the lies? 0:17:36.720 --> 0:17:40.160 What makes us continue to believe lies? Like even though 0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:41.639 we know you didn't get a six pack from that 0:17:41.680 --> 0:17:44.000 flat tummy tee, We're still gonna. 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:46.280 Like your posts. I'm gonna come back and see what 0:17:46.280 --> 0:17:47.520 you're posting tomorrow. 0:17:47.280 --> 0:17:50.680 Because it costs more to not believe it. Lots of times, 0:17:50.760 --> 0:17:53.040 we live in this space called emotional mind. 0:17:53.200 --> 0:17:56.680 In the emotional mind, your feelings outweigh everything else, right, 0:17:56.760 --> 0:17:57.920 So the facts don't matter. 0:17:58.040 --> 0:18:00.680 Yeah, you only care about what makes you feel good. 0:18:00.880 --> 0:18:02.359 Does that sound familiar to any of you? 0:18:02.520 --> 0:18:05.600 That's the biggest part of therapy is for some folks 0:18:05.600 --> 0:18:09.480 is just having them believe the truth. And so when 0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:14.840 we say that, we're really talking about believing and connecting 0:18:14.880 --> 0:18:17.679 with what we see and what we hear and all 0:18:17.720 --> 0:18:20.560 of our senses, and not necessarily with the emotion. I 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:22.439 don't know if this is emotional mind, but this is 0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:26.639 a time when t T told a partial lot, not 0:18:26.720 --> 0:18:29.359 really a lot. She just said some things, and my 0:18:29.440 --> 0:18:32.639 emotional mind took over. I was out to dinner with 0:18:32.680 --> 0:18:36.400 friends and you told me, and you were like, come, 0:18:36.480 --> 0:18:37.480 I need you to come home now. 0:18:37.520 --> 0:18:39.520