Speaker 1: While we hope couch Talks can be a tool that
Speaker 1: helps and supports wherever you are in life, couch Talks
Speaker 1: does not serve as a replacement or substitute for therapy
Speaker 1: or any mental health services.
Speaker 2: Good a right, break it down. If you ever have
Speaker 2: feelings that you just falls home, Amy and Cat gotcha
Speaker 2: covin like and now brother ladies and felas, do you
Speaker 2: just follow ann the spirit where it's all us go
Speaker 2: from and real stuff to the chaill stuff and the
Speaker 2: m but sway, sometimes the best thing you can do
Speaker 2: it just stop to feel things. This is Feeling Things
Speaker 2: with Amy and Kat.
Speaker 3: Happy Thursday, Welcome to couch Talks, our Q and a
Speaker 3: episode of the Feeling Things podcast. I'm Amy and I'm Cat,
Speaker 3: And today we've got a voicemail from a listener and
Speaker 3: an email from a listener sort of y'all just engaging
Speaker 3: with the conversation. So while couch Talks is most of
Speaker 3: the times a Q and A, this is more of
Speaker 3: just a we're all involved, Like, we're all having this conversation.
Speaker 1: Together, yeah, back and forth.
Speaker 3: So we're just sitting on the couch tracking couch talks,
Speaker 3: and I'm going to open up something that Kat gave me.
Speaker 3: Was it four years ago?
Speaker 1: Do you think I think it was the first year?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: It just twenty twenty, No, twenty twenty one.
Speaker 1: How do you think twenty one?
Speaker 3: So it's called a blessings jar and there's lots of
Speaker 3: hidden things inside. We'll go over exactly what that is.
Speaker 3: But this is such an awesome gift idea for somebody
Speaker 3: in your life. So we're gonna get into the jar.
Speaker 1: I should have brought mine because I have one to
Speaker 1: pull out.
Speaker 3: Some gems see what people said. But speaking of what
Speaker 3: people have to say, I'll start with the email from
Speaker 3: Carrie or do you think it's Cary. I think it's
Speaker 3: Cary Cary, Okay.
Speaker 1: It could be Carrie. I do know somebody named Cary
Speaker 1: and she spells her name that right.
Speaker 3: Okay, that way ka r I. I just wanted to,
Speaker 3: out of respect, since she's probably listening to this right now,
Speaker 3: shout out. I don't think she wants to be an
Speaker 3: on this.
Speaker 1: I think this one's okay.
Speaker 3: I think this is the same. I appreciate the recommendation
Speaker 3: that she shares. So here we go. Hey, Amy and Kat,
Speaker 3: I just listened to your episode from a couple of
Speaker 3: weeks ago where Amy was feeling eager. Her reason put
Speaker 3: a smile on my face and I knew I had
Speaker 3: to share this bird house I just bought last weekend.
Speaker 3: It suction cups to a window and you can watch
Speaker 3: the nest. It comes with a film to put on
Speaker 3: the plexiglass of the birdhouse so the birds can't see
Speaker 3: you watching them and disturb them. I bought mine at
Speaker 3: wild Bird Store in Hendersonville, and the suite owner said
Speaker 3: it just needs to be on a window where a
Speaker 3: tree is nearby so that mama can watch the house
Speaker 3: and not be too far away. I love the podcast
Speaker 3: and have learned so many things from y'all and other
Speaker 3: listeners who have shared their questions and stories. One of
Speaker 3: my favorite lessons that really stuck with me is never
Speaker 3: suppress a generous thought. Thanks for letting me in on
Speaker 3: your conversations. It truly feels like listening to Why's curious
Speaker 3: and really fun? Friends?
Speaker 1: Nice shut out.
Speaker 3: I hope you'll have the day you need to have
Speaker 3: your friend on the north side of town carry so
Speaker 3: even the blessings jar would be in alignment with like,
Speaker 3: never suppress the generous thought, because this is the blessing
Speaker 3: jar is sort of a gift that keeps on giving
Speaker 3: because not only is it a kind, thoughtful, generous gift,
Speaker 3: but anytime the receiver of the jar needs to dip
Speaker 3: into the jar to pull out a card or something
Speaker 3: that was written nice about them, it's like you're giving
Speaker 3: the opportunity of all the friends and loved ones in
Speaker 3: their lives to not suppress a generous, thoughtful, kind thought.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I opened mine up the other day and
Speaker 4: I was having a bad day.
Speaker 3: He dips into the cook in the jar, into the
Speaker 3: blessings jar. So I feel like this is an alignment
Speaker 3: of this email. We could do the voicemail, but we'll
Speaker 3: go ahead and talk about the Blessing's jar, which this
Speaker 3: is something that you put together for me, and I
Speaker 3: know we've mentioned it before on the podcast, but I
Speaker 3: feel like it's still the beginning of the year where
Speaker 3: people might have several birthdays coming up this year of
Speaker 3: people that are in their life and they're like, what
Speaker 3: in the world do I get this person? They have everything?
Speaker 1: Well, it's good for a milestone.
Speaker 4: And I don't want to take credit for this idea
Speaker 4: because somebody had given me a blessing jar. First before
Speaker 4: I gave one to you, so it's kind of passing
Speaker 4: it on. My sister gave me one. I was going
Speaker 4: through a really bad time and so she gave it
Speaker 4: to me. It was just like I needed to hear
Speaker 4: all of those things that people were saying about me,
Speaker 4: and a lot of the things, like the little snippets
Speaker 4: that you guys will will hear, are things that you
Speaker 4: would not think other people thought, or they could be
Speaker 4: like little memories or stories that you might not have remembered.
Speaker 4: And so it helped me.
Speaker 3: Well, so you put it on whole cards that came
Speaker 3: with those cards. Oh, I thought you did. Where did
Speaker 3: you get the cards though, because they have quotes already
Speaker 3: printed on them, like it.
Speaker 1: Came with the jar.
Speaker 3: Oh, it came with the jar. But like do Etsy
Speaker 3: or Amazon or.
Speaker 4: What that came from? Altered state oddly enough. But I
Speaker 4: think you can just buy it on like Etsy, Amazon.
Speaker 4: I'm sure there's a million places you can get it.
Speaker 4: It also can just be a jar. And my sister
Speaker 4: when she made mine, she just got different color card
Speaker 4: stock and wrote the things on it, like you could
Speaker 4: make your own.
Speaker 3: And that's what I was thinking, like, oh, maybe you
Speaker 3: could print these out and cut them up. But okay,
Speaker 3: so kath came already put together as a blessing jar,
Speaker 3: and then people hand wrote notes on the cards. But
Speaker 3: you could do one hundred percent diy, yeah, and keep
Speaker 3: it simple. This is from Bobby. You're an extremely hard worker, Bobby,
Speaker 3: which I think you did you just like I wrote that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but he wrote he said, he said it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, just like I think Bobby would say
Speaker 4: this about you.
Speaker 3: You are an.
Speaker 1: Extremely how do your friend send me things? And then
Speaker 1: I wrote them all.
Speaker 3: Okay, Like Gracie, you are a deep well of wisdom
Speaker 3: that overflows as a fountain of life for those around
Speaker 3: you Proverbs sixteen twenty two. And then Gracie also did
Speaker 3: another one, so people can do multiple You are kind, generous,
Speaker 3: and there is nothing you wouldn't do for your friends
Speaker 3: and family. That's really sweet. I'm not going to read
Speaker 3: all right now, so weird. Oh my gosh, Keaton wrote
Speaker 3: like so like such a long so many let's see,
Speaker 3: let me try to find a short one from Oh,
Speaker 3: there's nother one from Bobby. You're always genuinely kind to
Speaker 3: all people you interact with. Okay, that's nice.
Speaker 4: This is not hard I feel like I should be
Speaker 4: reading it, not you.
Speaker 3: You make others feel less alone in their own struggles,
Speaker 3: which is very healing. Brittany the shout out Brittany Spencer, Right, Oh, Lisa,
Speaker 3: Yeah this is weird.
Speaker 1: I bet Lisa's was really deep.
Speaker 3: You're the strongest soft hearted person I know. Thanks for
Speaker 3: being you, which that's I love that she used the
Speaker 3: words strong and soft in the same sentence. So this
Speaker 3: is just yeah, it is. I'm not going to read
Speaker 3: all of these, go and do one more from you.
Speaker 1: No, no doubt. Yes, I don't know what I say.
Speaker 3: This one is from you.
Speaker 1: It looks long.
Speaker 3: What I said. I know you don't think you're famous. Lol. However,
Speaker 3: that is one of the ways you bless us all.
Speaker 1: You're like a real deal.
Speaker 3: You are you all the time, even when it's hard
Speaker 3: and scary. Thanks Cat. Yeah, okay, so blessings jar like
Speaker 3: this is something I already am thinking of someone this
Speaker 3: year that I want to do this for that I
Speaker 3: And I'm known about the blessing jar because obviously you
Speaker 3: gave it to me. Oh, you just wrote me something
Speaker 3: about Delilah. That's probably why you made the famous comment too.
Speaker 3: It's because you had had a thing about you said
Speaker 3: you will bless us all over when you take over
Speaker 3: Delilah and speak wisdom into the radio waves every night,
Speaker 3: cat and you labeled it a future blessing that you're
Speaker 3: speaking into existence. Oh, Delilah, if you know.
Speaker 1: You know, and you shall know.
Speaker 3: You said you are changing lives every day with the
Speaker 3: vulnerability you share. Okay, we're done this. I can't do this.
Speaker 1: You can say that serious is this.
Speaker 3: Is such a good idea and it's I could see
Speaker 3: how I felt was by myself having a moment where
Speaker 3: if I pulled one of these out that would be
Speaker 3: very helpful. And so that is if you're wondering, like,
Speaker 3: because some people may live far away, how do you
Speaker 3: get them to write the card, We'll just text them
Speaker 3: or find a way to get word that you're doing this,
Speaker 3: and they can send you what to put on the card,
Speaker 3: and like you did, you fill it out for them
Speaker 3: and that way, because I could see how taking on
Speaker 3: a task like this would feel overwhelming if you're like, oh,
Speaker 3: I need to get this person to write it and
Speaker 3: get that. But if you send out like text and
Speaker 3: then wait for the reply and you fill it out yourself,
Speaker 3: then bam, bam, yeah, bam bam.
Speaker 4: And then you can get people from yeah all over
Speaker 4: because Lisa is in New York and she was able
Speaker 4: to have blessings in your jar.
Speaker 6: Yeah, show notes, Oh, Shannon, Shannon found a blessings jar
Speaker 6: on Amazon, and she said she's gonna link it, so
Speaker 6: I will I when I do the show notes.
Speaker 3: She was letting me know that I can link it
Speaker 3: in the show notes. Show lie, if people were here
Speaker 3: behind the scenes show, Shannon's sitting here with her computer
Speaker 3: while we're working in case like we have a question
Speaker 3: about something or we want to look it up, or
Speaker 3: we're about to play a voicemail from a listener, and
Speaker 3: Shannon's got the voicemail queued up on her phone ready
Speaker 3: to play through our road caster, which is like our
Speaker 3: little I call it our little podcaster box. The soundboards soundboard, Yeah,
Speaker 3: with buttons and life. It's so cute, right colorful. I
Speaker 3: like it. And so she's got it hooked up so
Speaker 3: it'll play through there sub way. The audio sounds good
Speaker 3: because like I don't know, back in the day, like
Speaker 3: if I was running the show, I'd be like I
Speaker 3: just hold up my phone to the microphone. But it
Speaker 3: sounds better when we run it through Shannon's. So that's
Speaker 3: what we're going to do for the voicemail coming up
Speaker 3: in just a minute. But before we get to that,
Speaker 3: I want to talk about like going out in your
Speaker 3: thirties and forties and how a lot of times we
Speaker 3: just turn into hermits and don't want to go out anymore.
Speaker 3: And I saw a geriatric psychologist.
Speaker 1: Like, you're targeting me.
Speaker 3: No, I'm not, I'm targeting myself, Took. It's not just
Speaker 3: to you, I think it's anybody. Like when you hit
Speaker 3: that thirty five to forty to forty five range, it's
Speaker 3: like you go out less and less and it's harder
Speaker 3: to get together because you just want to stay home.
Speaker 3: But obviously you know what a geriatric psychologist is.
Speaker 1: Psychologists for older people.
Speaker 6: Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding.
Speaker 3: So I'm gonna pull it up because he talked about
Speaker 3: how basically it's the music for the post. But he
Speaker 3: was talking about how if you're we need to stop
Speaker 3: waiting to feel social, because you don't wait to feel
Speaker 3: inspired to brush your teeth. Socializing after forty is no
Speaker 3: longer entertainment. It's cognitive maintenance, sort of like you wake
Speaker 3: up every day and brush your teeth, to take care
Speaker 3: of your hygiene health. We need to take care of
Speaker 3: our brain health. And the older you get, like the
Speaker 3: more isolated we get because we just don't want to
Speaker 3: go out. But he was saying that we need to
Speaker 3: force interactions with the same discipline that we use for
Speaker 3: like our monthly mortgage payment, Like you do that every
Speaker 3: month no matter what, because you don't want to fall behind. Well,
Speaker 3: you need to plan a gathering with friends no matter
Speaker 3: what because you don't want to fall behind. Which Gracie,
Speaker 3: she's one of the people that you had in my
Speaker 3: Blessings jar. You know, she has emergency confetti and something
Speaker 3: else that she's organized in our town. I guess with
Speaker 3: moms in our area is a monthly mom's club and
Speaker 3: it's all on email. I receive the emails. I've yet
Speaker 3: to go, but I want to every time, and then
Speaker 3: when they come around, I mean, I'm not able, But
Speaker 3: I'm also not forcing myself to go because I could
Speaker 3: make it a priority of like okay, I just need
Speaker 3: to get there and cancel whatever it else I has,
Speaker 3: or like I can't stay home because I'm tired, Like
Speaker 3: I need to go because the truth is such a
Speaker 3: good way to gather with other women and other moms
Speaker 3: that are in similar situations, and you get to talk
Speaker 3: about all kinds of things. And they do an activity
Speaker 3: at every single one, Like they put a lot of
Speaker 3: thought into it, and you maybe have to venmo like
Speaker 3: ten bucks, twenty bucks to contribute towards whatever the activity is.
Speaker 3: And I think it's so cool that Gracie is doing that,
Speaker 3: and you can tell she's putting a lot of thought
Speaker 3: and love and care into it, her and a couple
Speaker 3: of other girls. And I'm like, that could be my
Speaker 3: monthly activity, my monthly cognitive maintenance.
Speaker 4: Do you want to challenge yourself? Do you want to
Speaker 4: challenge yourself to go to.
Speaker 3: The next one? Sure, I don't know if I'm available. Okay,
Speaker 3: I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I think I am.
Speaker 3: I think I am, And yeah I might.
Speaker 1: What's the activity next time?
Speaker 4: Do you know?
Speaker 3: I'll have to check the email let me see if
Speaker 3: one has gone out. I think it's like the first
Speaker 3: They kind of keep it consistent. Maybe it's the first
Speaker 3: Thursday of every month. Okay, So like for Valentine's Day
Speaker 3: they did, like for the month of February, they did
Speaker 3: like a Gallantine's and then they had little actvities where
Speaker 3: they had I think they had candles, and then they
Speaker 3: decorated the candles. Oh.
Speaker 1: I saw her post about that. That looked really cute.
Speaker 3: And you wore like fun pajamas and it was real
Speaker 3: casual and then they had cute little Valentine snacks and whatnot.
Speaker 3: But March, I know there's a Bunco.
Speaker 4: Okay, waiting for you to say bunco because I think
Speaker 4: of her when I hear bunco, because didn't you do
Speaker 4: that for her birthday or something?
Speaker 3: That's what she did for her birthday.
Speaker 4: Yeah, my parents when I was younger had Bunco club
Speaker 4: or like group or whatever, and once a month they
Speaker 4: would go to one person in their group's houses and
Speaker 4: do like a party.
Speaker 1: And I would like to do that. I don't know
Speaker 1: how to.
Speaker 4: Play bunko, but when you were talking about this, you
Speaker 4: said the words like going out, but it could be
Speaker 4: just gathering with friends inside. It doesn't have to be like, yes,
Speaker 4: go out. It could be like go to somebody's house
Speaker 4: and have a game night. I would love to have
Speaker 4: like a whether it's bunco or another game, like a
Speaker 4: group like that that feels very middle aged, like, and.
Speaker 3: I think even in your like or if you have
Speaker 3: a boyfriend or a husband or whatever, like, are y'all
Speaker 3: like my boyfriend and I have talked about this, like
Speaker 3: we need to go on more double dates, Like we
Speaker 3: need to get out and like be intentional of socializing
Speaker 3: with other couples. So it could be that that's your
Speaker 3: like every two weeks or once a month, I get
Speaker 3: it with kids and work and we fall into that
Speaker 3: pattern of like, Okay, well we're just tired. Do we
Speaker 3: really want to get dressed and go out? And we
Speaker 3: could just so something that we've talked about is like
Speaker 3: we need to be intentional of going out with other
Speaker 3: couples and doing that, because it's easy to be tired
Speaker 3: and want to just get cozy and order food and
Speaker 3: watch a TV show. And then that's isolation even though
Speaker 3: you're even with someone else.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so just no.
Speaker 3: I think that as we think his point of being
Speaker 3: a geriatric psychologist is like the forties, thirties, forties, that's
Speaker 3: when you start seeing it show up, and then you
Speaker 3: train yourself to just stay home. So then in your
Speaker 3: fifties your sixties, you're kind of doing the same, and
Speaker 3: it just progressively gets worse. So treat it as maintenance.
Speaker 3: You are in that routine and it's just part of
Speaker 3: your lifestyle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's not.
Speaker 4: It doesn't mean that you can't wear comfy clothes and
Speaker 4: order take out and watch movies. It's you're saying, like
Speaker 4: a sprinkle in some social interaction into that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I'm not going to take away comfy
Speaker 3: clothes and ordering food and watching TV. Heck no, I
Speaker 3: love that. It's just that if that's your default every
Speaker 3: single time, I think that's yeah, I can relate to that,
Speaker 3: and we need to do better. I just checked Gracie's
Speaker 3: name in my email and they haven't sent out details
Speaker 3: yet for the Oh they did give a teaser in
Speaker 3: the Gallantines one. They said, yeah, the March hang will
Speaker 3: be a Bunco night, So I guess that's what it is.
Speaker 3: That's where I had that in my head. In January
Speaker 3: they did a vision board night.
Speaker 1: But you don't know. You still don't know when. Right.
Speaker 3: It says March fifth, which is I think the first
Speaker 3: Thursday of the month.
Speaker 1: Are you a builble Thursday nights?
Speaker 3: I have to go check. Let me see. We have
Speaker 3: a Bobby Bone Show cruise that week, so I will
Speaker 3: try to go if I can. Okay, it's on the
Speaker 3: upcoming ones because obviously now I know that it'll be
Speaker 3: April second, okay, and then yeah, May seventh, so I
Speaker 3: can start putting that on my calendar as my monthly
Speaker 3: maintenance with my Mom's Club, which I don't know if
Speaker 3: everybody has that, but maybe you could be the person
Speaker 3: in your town that starts it, because I'm like, Gracie's
Speaker 3: put a lot of work into this, but once you
Speaker 3: get like the template of it, it could be fun
Speaker 3: and you can I think she's got it on social media.
Speaker 3: I don't know if it's even the handle monthly Mom's Club,
Speaker 3: but you could look to it for inspo or like
Speaker 3: just take this and be like, Okay, the first month,
Speaker 3: we're going to do a girl's night where we decorate something,
Speaker 3: We're going to do a bunco night, or we're going
Speaker 3: to do what's it that everybody does?
Speaker 1: That's that sounds to me, that's too complicated.
Speaker 3: That's like I don't know how to play.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of it feels like rules and stuff.
Speaker 4: I keep getting like videos on Instagram and TikTok of
Speaker 4: like Majong rules, and I don't know why that's in
Speaker 4: my algorithm.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's telling me, it is.
Speaker 3: Telling you something for your cognitive health.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll play Bunko Majong is I just feel like
Speaker 1: a lot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, my friends that play it though, they love it.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll start Majong listeners.
Speaker 3: If y'all play, send us encouragement. Yeah, and do you
Speaker 3: think Kat and I would like it? Like, really think
Speaker 3: about us and who we are.
Speaker 1: I love games, but well I love that game.
Speaker 3: Right, and I would say I like games.
Speaker 4: You're so fun when you play them. You was the
Speaker 4: star of my birthday that one year because you were
Speaker 4: so good at the what were the poetry for N'anserthal's
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3: Okay, that game is fun. Yeah, I love, I love.
Speaker 3: I guess it just depends on the game. If I'm
Speaker 3: going to.
Speaker 1: You like Bunko when you play it.
Speaker 3: I wasn't very good at it, but it's also doesn't take.
Speaker 1: It like a dice game.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not skill, it's luck. It's luck. So I
Speaker 3: guess I just wasn't very lucky with it. So anyway,
Speaker 3: I just wanted to offer that encouragement since we had
Speaker 3: the email of never suppress a generous thought. Maybe never
Speaker 3: suppress a moment to go out. Sometimes suppress it. Once
Speaker 3: a month you need to go out. Let's just set
Speaker 3: the goal of, like once a month you need to
Speaker 3: do something with friends.
Speaker 1: I can even do twice a month.
Speaker 3: The months are flying by.
Speaker 1: You could do twice a month. I could.
Speaker 3: But also there's kids and sports.
Speaker 1: But does that not count?
Speaker 3: Going to like and work functions.
Speaker 4: Going to a sporting event with your partner counts. Are
Speaker 4: you sure that's getting out in your social and you're
Speaker 4: talking to other people, you're getting dressed barely.
Speaker 3: I told you there was that one game I got
Speaker 3: dressed for and I showed up and my boyfriend was like,
Speaker 3: where are you going? And I was like here and
Speaker 3: it did feel fun to get dressed up. So maybe
Speaker 3: that was my once a month. But I got to say, like,
Speaker 3: when I told you, I've told you. When I think
Speaker 3: of like how often I feel really awesome in a month,
Speaker 3: there aren't that.
Speaker 4: Many days because maybe you aren't having the experiences that you.
Speaker 3: Know, just like I think it's hormones. But I finally
Speaker 3: booked an appointment to get my blood work done with
Speaker 3: a hormone doctor, like I combined it with my yearly appointment,
Speaker 3: like I started to realize I didn't like my gynecologists
Speaker 3: that I was going to. Oh and so my friend
Speaker 3: had asked me for a guid in collegist's recommendation and
Speaker 3: she was like, do you have someone that you've gone
Speaker 3: to you? I said, yeah, I have someone I'm going
Speaker 3: to for years, but I don't think I recommend them.
Speaker 3: And then I was like, well that's weird. Yeah, Like
Speaker 3: why why wouldn't I just schedule somewhere else, because well,
Speaker 3: they already have on my paperwork, I've already been going.
Speaker 3: She knows my family history, and there's she's not terrible,
Speaker 3: but she's just not and sometimes it's hard to get
Speaker 3: into people.
Speaker 1: So it's and.
Speaker 3: My sister and I were talking about this, because there
Speaker 3: is the doctor that I just got in with. I
Speaker 3: assumed that she would be difficult to get into and
Speaker 3: it might take a long time. So therefore I just
Speaker 3: kept putting off calling because I didn't want to deal
Speaker 3: with the wait list, when in actuality, if I just
Speaker 3: picked up the phone and called, even if it was
Speaker 3: a three month four month waitlist, by the time that
Speaker 3: three or four months came along, i'd have the appointment,
Speaker 3: but the way I roll, the three or four months
Speaker 3: would pass and I haven't made an appointment with anybody,
Speaker 3: so it doesn't matter. And my sister was like, why
Speaker 3: are we this way? I'm like, I don't know, I said,
Speaker 3: but knew me because I I had a guide acologist
Speaker 3: appointment last week and it was the day with the
Speaker 3: old one. It was the day before the appointment, and
Speaker 3: I was like, why am I going to someone that again?
Speaker 3: I wouldn't even recommend to my friends that are asking me.
Speaker 3: So I called the new place and they were like,
Speaker 3: we can see you on February twenty fourth, stop and
Speaker 3: I was like, of twenty twenty six, like this year,
Speaker 3: February twenty fourth like coming up and they're like yeah,
Speaker 3: and I was like, okay, put me down. So she's
Speaker 3: going to do my yearly check up and my blood
Speaker 3: work for hormones because she's also the hormone specialists that
Speaker 3: I've heard other people rave about, and she's going to
Speaker 3: help get me on some hormone replacement therapy, which I
Speaker 3: know that I need one hundred percent know that I need,
Speaker 3: and I can't wait to see where my levels are
Speaker 3: and what I need and how we're going to supplement
Speaker 3: it and even talking about new me coming up.
Speaker 1: So if very combined with.
Speaker 4: Going out my social maintenance, Yeah, I'm not even going
Speaker 4: to recognize you.
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know. I mean that's just gonna help
Speaker 3: us combat loneliness in the future and isolation, yeah, which
Speaker 3: is an epidemic.
Speaker 4: Well, and like I think i'd like to see you
Speaker 4: out of the house more. Yeah, when I see you,
Speaker 4: it's at your house.
Speaker 3: Maybe the hormones will help, because yes, to your point,
Speaker 3: that is a huge reason why so many women im
Speaker 3: perimido pouse.
Speaker 1: They just don't.
Speaker 3: Feel like themselves. They're like, I have no joy. I'm
Speaker 3: not like a miserable person to be around, but I
Speaker 3: don't like I'm not like excited. I just feel kind
Speaker 3: of like nah, but I'm not sad. It's just a
Speaker 3: me feeling. You said no joy, So that, yeah, I think, Well,
Speaker 3: you know how we want to have whimsy all the time.
Speaker 3: In practice, like I'm even telling myself be whimsy, and
Speaker 3: it's like where's the way. I can't find it. It's
Speaker 3: not coming to me as easily as it once did.
Speaker 3: And I don't feel like it was that long ago
Speaker 3: that I was able to tap into the whimsy with ease.
Speaker 3: It's like you can't. It's difficult to get there, you know.
Speaker 3: It's like you want to be playful and be like, okay, dishes,
Speaker 3: time to take a bath, but you're just like dishes.
Speaker 4: Was it last year when you like wanted this to
Speaker 4: be a cat or you were talking about yes, whimsy
Speaker 4: for you? Sure, Maggie's the model on the cover of
Speaker 4: her cat food. Maggie was sad and depressed because that's
Speaker 4: her sister who's a model in New York now, And
Speaker 4: I had this whole narrative of hell, yeah, yeah, I know,
Speaker 4: she got to go to live in New York and
Speaker 4: chase her dreams and you're stuck here in Nashville, inside
Speaker 4: the house with no claws. And I know you're beautiful
Speaker 4: and you could have made it as a model too,
Speaker 4: but I'm like, you could do be on my Instagram.
Speaker 4: How's Maggie's health journey. How's Maggie's health journey?
Speaker 3: I think she's good. She seems smaller to me. I
Speaker 3: put her on my kitchen scale and she's like a
Speaker 3: accurate Yeah, it's a little digital scale. I have to
Speaker 3: put her in a box and then put measure away
Speaker 3: the box and then put her in the box. And
Speaker 3: then anyway, thanks for asking about her overweight cat. Uh, no,
Speaker 3: we're not.
Speaker 1: Are you still hiding her food?
Speaker 3: No, I have it on the treadmill, though she does.
Speaker 3: You're not making your cat walk on the tread It's
Speaker 3: just ironic because it's like her food's on the treadmill.
Speaker 3: So that's her workout. She seems to have a good life.
Speaker 3: Let's just say that. Wait, what else was I going
Speaker 3: to say? I was talking about, Oh, my appointment, I
Speaker 3: just did it, so I canceled, And then now I'm
Speaker 3: going I did did the dang thing. So like, if
Speaker 3: that's you and you are going to a doctor that
Speaker 3: you feel about and you know there's maybe somebody else
Speaker 3: out there that could be more beneficial to your life,
Speaker 3: make the call and maybe it will take three or
Speaker 3: four months, but that too shall pass and then you'll
Speaker 3: get there. Yeah. Yeah, that's normal, I know, but look
Speaker 3: in my in my case, it was like, oh, this
Speaker 3: is right around the corner, like literally, yeah, so I'm
Speaker 3: going to be able to go in no time. And
Speaker 3: good for you, Yeah, thank you? Have you done anything
Speaker 3: awesome for yourself.
Speaker 4: Well, I got a new doctor, but it was Morgan,
Speaker 4: so because I had to, because I moved in My
Speaker 4: doctor moved to California.
Speaker 3: But good for you for finding one, because I they're
Speaker 3: a part of me. Would be like, oh, I just
Speaker 3: want my doctor move. Yes, yeah, well and they could.
Speaker 3: I actually could.
Speaker 4: I've stayed at that place I was at and they
Speaker 4: would have just assigned somebody else to me. I really
Speaker 4: liked my doctor though. That's the difference. Is how sad
Speaker 4: that she moved. But then I was like, why am
Speaker 4: I going to drive to Nashville now that I live
Speaker 4: in Franklin to go to this doctor when this is
Speaker 4: a perfect opportunity to not. But I will say I
Speaker 4: didn't go to the doctor for many years because my
Speaker 4: doctor were tired at one point and like a lot,
Speaker 4: that's our eighth sh And then but then they gave
Speaker 4: me a new person. He read the wrong chart the
Speaker 4: first time I saw him, and I was like what.
Speaker 4: And then he asked me how my flangy was doing,
Speaker 4: and I was like my what. He was like your
Speaker 4: finger and I was like I broke it in second grade,
Speaker 4: Like why are you checking in on that?
Speaker 1: It was just very weird and then he made me cry. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I told.
Speaker 3: You this, Well, probably I forgot years ago.
Speaker 4: Because my primary doctor was prescribing my ADHD medication just
Speaker 4: because she could. She's like, you don't need to go
Speaker 4: to the psychiatrist every three months. We can just check
Speaker 4: in everything three months and do whatever. And so then
Speaker 4: he was taking that over and he was like, so,
Speaker 4: I don't know how to describe it, like accusatory instead
Speaker 4: of like trying to understand me, he was very much like, well,
Speaker 4: how do you know you have this? And like was
Speaker 4: like asking, He's like, oh, so you graduated from Vanderbilt,
Speaker 4: but you weren't taking medication, Like how are you?
Speaker 1: How'd that happen? I was like it was really hard.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 4: And so I just felt very now that I didn't
Speaker 4: feel seen because I guess he was seeing me.
Speaker 3: He dismissed.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I felt judged and I felt like I was
Speaker 4: having to like defend myself and that's not you should
Speaker 4: never feel like that with a medical provider. So I
Speaker 4: sat in my car and I cried. And then my
Speaker 4: friend has a doctor that she loves, so I just
Speaker 4: got in with her and they were the same, like
Speaker 4: different places but same company, so.
Speaker 1: They're able to switch me.
Speaker 3: Oh perfect.
Speaker 4: But yeah, if you have a doctor like that that
Speaker 4: you dread seen, then you're not going to go when
Speaker 4: you have a problem, or if you have a problem
Speaker 4: and you don't feel like they're really hearing you, then
Speaker 4: you're not going to get the care you deserve. So
Speaker 4: I just don't think he was the doctor for me.
Speaker 4: But I had the same doctor from second grade till
Speaker 4: I was thirty years.
Speaker 3: Are you talking about because second grade so now you're
Speaker 3: just talking about actual regular doctor.
Speaker 1: Well, my doctor was my family doctor, was my guynocologist.
Speaker 3: She did it all, Oh is she?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: She original my first doctor when I moved to Tennessee.
Speaker 4: Our family doctor, doctor Langston, my mom.
Speaker 3: So she met with you when you were in second grade,
Speaker 3: but then when you were of age to get pap smears.
Speaker 5: She did.
Speaker 4: She was also a gynecologist, so then when she retired,
Speaker 4: that was a big deal because I had to get
Speaker 4: another regular doctor, and I had to get another gynecologist,
Speaker 4: and I had never had different.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I only.
Speaker 1: Knew that, and I knew her so well, and she
Speaker 1: knew me so well.
Speaker 3: Have you ever gone to a male gynocologist?
Speaker 1: No, I don't think I would ever choose that. I
Speaker 1: did once. How was that experience?
Speaker 3: And then so he was recommended by my friend and
Speaker 3: college roommate's dad. He was a doctor and they had
Speaker 3: this guy they recommended. So they were all friends, right,
Speaker 3: and we were all family friends. So they had a
Speaker 3: barbecue once and the gynecologist was invited. And I went
Speaker 3: to the barbecue and I'm like this, I can't do this. Wait,
Speaker 3: you're this is weird because I went to him and
Speaker 3: he's like, hey, how are you? And I'm like, mine, you,
Speaker 3: this is weird. I don't like that you. I have
Speaker 3: come to you for a perhaps yes, and other things
Speaker 3: and other things, and now I'm we're just like in
Speaker 3: the food line together.
Speaker 1: This is it's weird.
Speaker 4: I will say, I lied, I do have This isn't
Speaker 4: my like gynecologists. But I went to a fertility doctor
Speaker 4: that's a male.
Speaker 3: But did they see your parts?
Speaker 4: They have to do vaginal ultrasounds. I'd got many, so yeah,
Speaker 4: but that didn't feel weird to me. He was so
Speaker 4: like professional, and I think if I saw him in
Speaker 4: a social setting, I'd.
Speaker 3: Be like, I had a barbecue, Yeah, that would feel different.
Speaker 1: But it was like very routine very.
Speaker 4: So when you're doing that kind of stuff, you have
Speaker 4: to do it so often that I'm like, Okay, here
Speaker 4: we go again. Hmm, So you kind of get used
Speaker 4: to it. But I don't think for my long term care,
Speaker 4: I would. I think having I personally like having a woman,
Speaker 4: just because I feel like I can open up and
Speaker 4: be more honest with them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I did.
Speaker 4: I tell you a more one time that I went
Speaker 4: to my new gynecologist and I panics.
Speaker 1: I didn't know how to put the robe on. How
Speaker 1: do you put well done?
Speaker 3: Right? I do feel like I'm doing it wrong as
Speaker 3: well at times, but then they I'll ask the nurse again,
Speaker 3: like I'll do that same thing too. If I'm going
Speaker 3: in for a mammogram, I'm like, wait, did I put
Speaker 3: this on right?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 3: So I put it on.
Speaker 4: Were the front open? So okay, that's the correct way. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but I didn't.
Speaker 3: Know, but I put it on the other way. I
Speaker 3: get what you're saying, Yeah, make that put it on
Speaker 3: because that feels normal. But in order to have because
Speaker 3: they have to check your chest, yeah, and then open
Speaker 3: it up put your leg.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: The whole thing is just like those videos that people
Speaker 3: make where they're like they put the camera inside of
Speaker 3: a paper bag and that's supposed to be like the
Speaker 3: inside of your body, and then it's okay, it's like reels.
Speaker 3: There are reels that people make that are funny of
Speaker 3: like this is if you want to know what it's
Speaker 3: like to go to the gynecologist, Like, here's your body's
Speaker 3: point of view. So the camera's in the bag and
Speaker 3: then they put their head in the bag and they're
Speaker 3: like and then it's like hands with gloves and then
Speaker 3: you know, tongs and like a scraper thing and like
Speaker 3: in the bag you can just see and you're like,
Speaker 3: oh my gosh. Yes, Like if guys want to understand
Speaker 3: like what we have to go through when we go there,
Speaker 3: it's like it's tough.
Speaker 4: It's tough, especially if you have to figure out how
Speaker 4: to put on an whole outfit and they don't tell you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, well we can do the voicemail. Okay, now
Speaker 3: Shannon has that queued up and ready to go, which
Speaker 3: we love hearing from y'all. Y'all can call us eight
Speaker 3: seven seven two oh seven two seven seven, Hi.
Speaker 5: Amy and Kat, This is Tracy. I live in Denver, Colorado.
Speaker 5: I just listened to the episode about things to say
Speaker 5: when you don't want to say it's going to be
Speaker 5: okay if you don't know what it's going to be okay,
Speaker 5: which was also really helpful, But I wanted to add
Speaker 5: the question of what do you need is helpful for
Speaker 5: all kinds of situations. I wound up using that with
Speaker 5: my daughter when she was in college and then a
Speaker 5: young adult, and you know, you transition into the days
Speaker 5: of life of they're making their own decisions. Sometimes they
Speaker 5: still want advice, but don't give it if they're not
Speaker 5: asking for it. So we had a couple of not
Speaker 5: great interactions where she would call and I'd do the
Speaker 5: wrong thing, and finally we just established that I would
Speaker 5: ask are you calling for advice? Or are you calling
Speaker 5: this event? And straight up I would ask that and
Speaker 5: we still do that to this day. And it was
Speaker 5: so great because then she got what she needed and
Speaker 5: I was able to give her what she needed without
Speaker 5: you know, stepping on her toes or upsetting her or whatever.
Speaker 5: So anyway, I think it's just can be really useful
Speaker 5: in other situations as well. So thank you for all
Speaker 5: you do. Love it, and I hope you have the
Speaker 5: day you need to have by bye.
Speaker 3: Love that, Tracy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just got a nice good for all times anybody,
Speaker 4: because we've all been there when we like call somebody
Speaker 4: and we're trying to get something out and then they
Speaker 4: give you like this, well.
Speaker 1: Have you thought about that?
Speaker 4: And you're like, that's not what I needed, Like I
Speaker 4: feel like you're lecturing me now, so good job.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we appreciate y'all sharing your nuggets of wisdom, like
Speaker 3: after you've listened to something we've said, and I think
Speaker 3: that's what you know the emailer was saying. Which is
Speaker 3: why I loved that we picked this email in this
Speaker 3: voicemail to go together, is because the emailer even referred
Speaker 3: to like things that we've said and she's learned from
Speaker 3: us and other listeners, and that's what helps us feel
Speaker 3: like connected, feel like our little feeling things.
Speaker 5: Community.
Speaker 3: But I just don't know that I love that word.
Speaker 1: What would you like to call it? I don't know, circle.
Speaker 4: Group?
Speaker 1: Does community? Feel too?
Speaker 3: Like? Oh, I think there's something I love this giving me.
Speaker 3: Just maybe I hear people say it online a lot
Speaker 3: and then I'm like, Okay, I don't know. Maybe I'm
Speaker 3: kind of over it because I know I've said it before.
Speaker 1: It is a community.
Speaker 3: It is a community. I know you feel like cult. No,
Speaker 3: I mean, now that I think about it, community sounds,
Speaker 3: our flock, our flock, our feelers, feelings how like you know,
Speaker 3: Beyonce has her bees or beehive like behive, or Lady
Speaker 3: Gaga has little monsters we could have.
Speaker 1: Our expert has armchairries. That's cute.
Speaker 3: What about feelers our little Yeah, it's just not as cool.
Speaker 3: Thingies are our things are saying?
Speaker 1: Are thingies?
Speaker 4: Okay, We're not okay, are trying to like our club club?
Speaker 3: I hate you hate it.
Speaker 4: I don't want to say community thing our club. I
Speaker 4: love our little club. If you have ideas, let us.
Speaker 3: Know, Yeah, share with us. You can email us. Hey,
Speaker 3: they're at feelingthingspodcast dot com. We will be back on
Speaker 3: Tuesday with another Feeling Things episode, but don't forget on Saturdays.
Speaker 3: Other episodes load up on the feed from other people
Speaker 3: in my network, different content that maybe you haven't heard before,
Speaker 3: from really awesome women. So make sure you check out
Speaker 3: those downloads on Saturdays and see if there's anything that
Speaker 3: tickles your fancy. Maybe you want to join their club,
Speaker 3: their community, their tribe, their Yeah. So until then or
Speaker 3: until we see you next. Here you next, you see
Speaker 3: us next, you hear us next.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, it sounded like you just skipped half
Speaker 4: the day. You need to have bye.