WEBVTT - How Men Think with Rashad Jennings 0:00:00.920 --> 0:00:03.840 We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This 0:00:04.559 --> 0:00:08.479 is how Men Thick and I heard radio podcast. Yo, Yo, 0:00:08.520 --> 0:00:11.360 what's up everybody? This is just Rashad Jennings. I am 0:00:11.400 --> 0:00:15.720 a former NFL running back, season twenty four Dancer with 0:00:15.760 --> 0:00:19.040 the Stars champion and New York Time best selling author 0:00:19.040 --> 0:00:20.919 in the book title The If in Life. If you 0:00:20.920 --> 0:00:23.840 haven't ready to go check it out, I'm happy today 0:00:23.880 --> 0:00:27.040 to be hosting How Men Think. I'm gonna be answering 0:00:27.080 --> 0:00:29.760 some questions and try to help you understand exactly that 0:00:29.920 --> 0:00:33.760 how Men Think. But first let's get into the eleven questions. 0:00:34.920 --> 0:00:36.840 What are you known for? And tell us a little 0:00:36.880 --> 0:00:39.080 bit about yourself. What am I known for? It depends 0:00:39.080 --> 0:00:43.600 on who you ask. UM, I've from a lot of people. 0:00:43.600 --> 0:00:46.040 I'm known for planning in the NFL for eight years, 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:49.559 for with the Jacksonville Jaguars, one with the Oakland Raiders, 0:00:49.920 --> 0:00:53.360 and three with the New York Giants. UM. Some people 0:00:53.400 --> 0:00:55.200 may say they know me as a dancer as a 0:00:55.320 --> 0:00:58.400 one season twenty four Dancers with the Stars. My partner 0:00:58.440 --> 0:01:01.040 was in a slater and we had a all. UM. 0:01:01.160 --> 0:01:03.360 Some may know me because I am a New York 0:01:03.360 --> 0:01:07.679 Time bestselling author, titled the book title. By the title 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:10.240 of the book, the if in life to plan words, 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:13.000 we spell out the word life if it's in the middle, 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:16.840 and I went through fifteen chapters exploring how pivotal and 0:01:16.920 --> 0:01:19.960 interesting that one word is to the success and failures 0:01:20.000 --> 0:01:22.600 of our life. Um some people know me because I'm 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:27.200 philanthropically driven. I have a Rashot Jenny's foundation. We've put 0:01:27.240 --> 0:01:30.600 on reading, education and literacy, UM and health and fitness. 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:34.479 UM so may know me as a good friend. UM 0:01:34.560 --> 0:01:38.440 as I try to live with the idea of if 0:01:38.480 --> 0:01:40.720 you you should be better off having met me in 0:01:40.800 --> 0:01:43.640 life than not if I come across you. My job, 0:01:44.120 --> 0:01:47.680 it seems to um be, is to inspire you. And 0:01:47.760 --> 0:01:52.400 there's a difference between being inspired and being motivated. Motivated 0:01:53.120 --> 0:01:55.080 is to me, I look at it as a drill sergeant, 0:01:55.080 --> 0:01:57.160 that somebody can motivate you to do a hundred push 0:01:57.240 --> 0:01:59.360 us because they're physically in your face yelling at you. 0:01:59.760 --> 0:02:03.120 But when you're inspired, nobody's around and that person is 0:02:03.160 --> 0:02:08.040 still motivating. And that's what that's what an inspiration is. 0:02:08.080 --> 0:02:11.160 So I'm known as an inspiration, known as a great son, 0:02:11.240 --> 0:02:14.359 I'm known as a I'm known as a goof. I'm 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:16.680 an auder to that. I'm addicted to learning. I mean, 0:02:16.800 --> 0:02:22.560 everyday guy. Nothing especial about me, just a position I'm in. Um, 0:02:22.639 --> 0:02:26.360 who are you in your personal life? Uh so? My 0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:31.000 personal life legitimately is the same as my known life. 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:36.880 There's no difference legitimately. I think. The only difference between 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:39.560 and everybody will tell you this, the only difference between 0:02:39.600 --> 0:02:42.440 my personal life being when the cameras are not around, right, 0:02:43.160 --> 0:02:46.919 and when the cameras are around, is that I will 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:55.440 cuss in my personal life, not maliciously. Is just something 0:02:55.480 --> 0:02:57.720 about what I'm on TV. It's to promise that I 0:02:57.840 --> 0:03:01.440 had with my mom that I never well use profanity 0:03:01.639 --> 0:03:06.200 and and and on on TV. So any radio show 0:03:06.440 --> 0:03:13.000 and podcasts, any TV. I've never been seen in the 0:03:13.120 --> 0:03:15.640 last in all of sixteen years of being like a 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:19.960 public figure, I've never that once heard saying the cuts work. Um. 0:03:20.000 --> 0:03:21.920 I think that's the only difference. Everything else is what 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:25.440 you see is what you get. There's a quote that 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:28.079 I live by. No, I take that back. There's a 0:03:28.160 --> 0:03:32.200 quote that has written in such a way that and 0:03:32.360 --> 0:03:38.000 somebody was to shadow my life. I want to live 0:03:38.040 --> 0:03:42.240 a life that would cause them to write these words 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:46.320 by shadowing, and it's the master and art of living 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:50.200 shows a little distinction between his work and his play, 0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:53.960 his labor and his leisure, his love and his religion. 0:03:54.760 --> 0:03:58.320 He simply pursues everything he does with excellence, leaving others 0:03:58.360 --> 0:04:01.920 to decide is he working or is he playing? But 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:05.000 to him, he's always doing both. And that's how I 0:04:05.040 --> 0:04:10.280 lived my life. Um, three shows you're binge watching? Three 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:13.560 shows that I'm binge watching. You know what I can't 0:04:13.640 --> 0:04:17.920 I've stopped watching you You Okay, I really I really 0:04:17.960 --> 0:04:20.240 got caught up in you. I think that was a 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:26.039 great show. Um, I did bene watch um all American? Uh. 0:04:26.080 --> 0:04:28.359 Shout out to Spencer He's he was one of my 0:04:28.400 --> 0:04:31.080 teammates that based on the True Store. I know the 0:04:31.160 --> 0:04:35.960 actual guy himself. We played football together. Um. And Third, 0:04:36.160 --> 0:04:38.960 let me see, I don't know, I get. I have 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:41.720 to watch I have to watch all the Bachelor Bachelorettes. 0:04:42.000 --> 0:04:44.480 I just do. It's kind of I end not finding 0:04:44.520 --> 0:04:47.359 myself having to watch it. U. What is your favorite food? 0:04:47.400 --> 0:04:50.000 That's easy? My favorite food by as far as sushi. 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:52.320 You want to make me happy, give me some sushi 0:04:52.360 --> 0:04:55.680 and gluten free cookies and dairy free and we'll have 0:04:55.720 --> 0:04:59.760 a good time. Tell us about your career. UM. So 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:04.800 career a getting played in the NFL. UM long journey 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:07.200 to get there started off in high school with a 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:10.279 point six g P a fifth string running back in 0:05:10.320 --> 0:05:13.560 high school football. So it was an unlikely role. No 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:18.680 red carpets over here, no best UM player, five star 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:23.120 rating at all, barely slithered through everything, through the skin 0:05:23.200 --> 0:05:26.080 of my teeth with a lot of work ethic, I 0:05:26.080 --> 0:05:27.960 had it. It was a one eight in my life. 0:05:27.960 --> 0:05:29.839 It was a point where I was lazy and I 0:05:29.880 --> 0:05:34.800 took a one. And so my career led me to football, UM, 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:37.440 which then led me to entrepreneurship, which then led me 0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:40.720 to all the many things that I'm doing currently and today, 0:05:40.839 --> 0:05:49.480 writing shows, producing, UM executive producing, acting, hosting, TV commentating, writing. UM. 0:05:50.080 --> 0:05:53.039 I could just bore you, but my hands are in 0:05:53.120 --> 0:05:57.000 a lot UM and I and I always claim myself 0:05:57.040 --> 0:05:59.880 to be a novice. That's something I am at I don't. 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:04.400 I'm not both. I'm not proudful, I'm always willing to learn. UM. 0:06:04.440 --> 0:06:07.719 That's part of my career. What's your biggest fear in life? 0:06:08.040 --> 0:06:12.360 My biggest fear in life is too not utilize all 0:06:12.400 --> 0:06:17.960 my skill sets and talents, And that's a fear, and 0:06:18.440 --> 0:06:22.240 a fear of not telling somebody that I really care 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:25.039 about how I feel about them and then not wake 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:29.880 up the next day. That's another fear. So I try 0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:32.720 to do both of those as much as I possibly can, 0:06:32.880 --> 0:06:34.880 utilize all my skill set as a prayer that I 0:06:34.920 --> 0:06:37.240 have always God, please teach me how to utilize my 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:40.440 skill set and talents UM to bring more people to 0:06:40.440 --> 0:06:45.279 know who you are. So my fear is not doing that. Uh, 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:47.960 what's your biggest pet peeve? My biggest pet peeve? If 0:06:48.160 --> 0:06:55.120 it's people that get piste off quick, so annoying? Um? 0:06:55.240 --> 0:06:58.880 What makes you the most happy when people don't get 0:06:58.880 --> 0:07:05.520 piste off quick? Now? Seriously, what makes me the happiest? 0:07:08.640 --> 0:07:11.000 All I need is good food and good people. I 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:14.200 figured out the rest man. I'm easy. I'm from Forest, Virginia. 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:18.840 I'm a little country boy, grew up around horses, um, farm, 0:07:19.200 --> 0:07:23.680 farm land. And you know, this world ain't got too 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:26.160 much to offer me, to be honest with you, it 0:07:26.320 --> 0:07:30.400 just don't. But good food, good people makes me happy. 0:07:31.880 --> 0:07:36.280 What is your ideal Saturday morning? Waking up a little 0:07:36.320 --> 0:07:39.920 bit late, rolling out of bed, playing with my dog. 0:07:39.960 --> 0:07:45.880 I have a German shepherd. Um. Making some waffles and 0:07:46.080 --> 0:07:49.240 uh egg whites. Not I probably go with an omelet, 0:07:50.000 --> 0:07:54.600 you know, and uh a protein shake, running a mile, 0:07:56.200 --> 0:08:00.600 coming back, showering, exploring a little bit of the day 0:08:01.360 --> 0:08:03.680 and let the rest be. I'm I'm it doesn't take 0:08:03.760 --> 0:08:08.600 much to you know, to please me. I'm super simple. 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:11.480 It's so I'm so simple that it might it may 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:16.320 be confusing. Um, but yeah, I said, are you more 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:25.360 of an athlete or an armchair quarterback? I am an athlete, 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:30.200 so I would say I'm more of an athlete than 0:08:30.280 --> 0:08:34.200 somebody that is an armchair quarterback. UM. I get my 0:08:34.240 --> 0:08:38.520 hands dirty and everything that I do. UM, my own 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:43.360 my own agent. Um. I'm a rarity in in in 0:08:43.400 --> 0:08:46.360 a lot of aspects there where people will say I'm 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:48.720 stupid for doing it. But I represent myself in so 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:52.520 many ways. If anybody sees Rashad Jennings, it's because of 0:08:54.000 --> 0:08:57.720 by the hands of the people that I that I 0:08:57.760 --> 0:09:02.360 put in place to work directly. Uh for myself. There 0:09:02.440 --> 0:09:05.600 isn't anything signed that isn't approved by me. There isn't 0:09:05.600 --> 0:09:08.520 any contract that hasn't been read over a dent by me. 0:09:08.559 --> 0:09:12.040 I don't. I don't put my trust in you know, 0:09:12.080 --> 0:09:15.679 a whole bunch of people. So, um, I'm definitely an 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:20.600 athlete physically and uh mentally too, so I'm not an armchair. 0:09:21.760 --> 0:09:25.160 What keeps you motivated? Look, we talked about, Uh, what 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:27.800 keeps me motivated is what I am inspired by. We 0:09:27.920 --> 0:09:30.600 discussed a little bit earlier as the difference between motivation 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:35.160 and inspiration. Um, I'm inspired, which motivates me? What am 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:38.520 I inspired to do? I'm inspired to lead my family 0:09:39.400 --> 0:09:43.680 from the grave. Sounds crazy. I think about death quite often, 0:09:44.120 --> 0:09:45.760 and not in a morbid way, but as a matter 0:09:45.760 --> 0:09:47.440 of fact, where we all gonna die. If you can 0:09:47.480 --> 0:09:51.360 hear my voice, you're gonna die one day. And I 0:09:51.400 --> 0:09:53.600 want to be the leader of for my family from 0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:55.520 the grave. And the only way possible to do that 0:09:55.640 --> 0:09:58.160 is to be very conscientious of the decisions I make 0:09:58.240 --> 0:10:02.560 while I'm here. And um, so that's my inspiration. Is 0:10:02.600 --> 0:10:06.920 what keeps me motivated? All right, guys, that was me 0:10:07.040 --> 0:10:10.480 wrapping up eleven questions and we're gonna take a quick 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:12.800 break and come back and answer some questions. Remember you 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:24.840 with for shots in and some men think, ye, hey, Megan, 0:10:24.840 --> 0:10:28.000 how are you doing? Hey? Hey, I'm in a little 0:10:28.000 --> 0:10:29.920 bit of a dilemma right now. But how are you. 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:33.280 I'm good, I'm good. Hopefully, uh, hopefully it's not too 0:10:33.280 --> 0:10:37.160 bad of a dilemma. Well, so, my boyfriend and I 0:10:37.240 --> 0:10:41.880 have been officially dating for only about two months now, um, 0:10:41.920 --> 0:10:45.760 but he just got offered a position for his dream 0:10:45.880 --> 0:10:50.760 job across the country, and so I'm not sure what 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:53.920 to do as far as like, it's so early if 0:10:53.960 --> 0:10:56.080 we do long distance now, I don't think we're going 0:10:56.120 --> 0:10:58.560 to make that work. But is it also too early 0:10:58.640 --> 0:11:01.920 for me to offer to move with him? And then 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:04.440 would it be too soon to like move in with him. 0:11:04.280 --> 0:11:07.040 I'm just I'm not sure what to do. So I 0:11:07.120 --> 0:11:10.000 always tell people I'm not one to tell you what 0:11:10.080 --> 0:11:13.320 to do. I will always try to evaluate scenario. So 0:11:13.400 --> 0:11:16.720 y'all have been talking for now too months? You said, Well, 0:11:16.760 --> 0:11:19.079 we dated for maybe a couple of months, but we've 0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:23.200 been officially like boyfriend girlfriend for two months now, been 0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:27.120 exclused to for two months. Yeah. OK. And there is 0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:30.560 an opportunity, a dream job for him to move across 0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:34.000 the country to chase a dream and has he offered 0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:37.360 you to come along or is that kind of something 0:11:37.360 --> 0:11:41.360 that you gotta. I would have to like bring that up. 0:11:41.400 --> 0:11:43.880 He hasn't necessarily offered, But I also don't know if 0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:46.840 he thinks that. It's like maybe he's too scared to 0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:50.440 say come with me because it's too soon. I'll say 0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:53.640 this though, as a guy, right, this is how many 0:11:54.080 --> 0:11:58.280 So when I played in the NFL, um there were 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:01.960 I was in a Jackson. Then there was an opportunity 0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:04.920 that was gonna arise through free agency, and I had 0:12:04.960 --> 0:12:06.720 no idea where I was gonna go. And then through 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:08.720 that free agency again I had no idea why I 0:12:08.760 --> 0:12:11.400 was gonna go. So I will say this, it's tough 0:12:11.480 --> 0:12:17.840 for a man to invite a woman to travel the 0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:22.480 world with him unless he has given a ring or 0:12:22.559 --> 0:12:26.480 a staple commitment to that that this is going to 0:12:26.559 --> 0:12:29.000 be my woman. The reason why is because if he brings, 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:31.320 if he has a heart, it's gonna be hard for 0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:35.040 him to make that ass because if he brings you 0:12:35.760 --> 0:12:38.080 out there and things don't work, he is going to 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:41.600 feel that weight of responsibility that he has to now 0:12:42.000 --> 0:12:45.360 provide or take care of you. Um, and so that 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:47.640 is gonna be tough. So I would suggest to you 0:12:48.440 --> 0:12:52.640 truly to bring it, bring up the conversation in a way, 0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:54.360 in a merriment. Maybe you' all going out to eat, 0:12:54.400 --> 0:12:56.839 and maybe you're you're celebrating him as you're bringing the 0:12:56.920 --> 0:12:59.440 conversation of Hey, baby, I'm so excited for you talk 0:12:59.480 --> 0:13:02.439 about it and say so. I know it's early in 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:05.719 our relationship, and you know I'm not trust me. I'm 0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:07.680 not putting any pressure. I just want to know what 0:13:07.760 --> 0:13:10.800 are your thoughts on long distance relationship, so farth and 0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:13.960 so on traveling? What about? I mean, do what can 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:16.920 you can you find? Is there a job in his city? 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:20.960 Um that is applicable to your career as well? Finding 0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:22.960 a way, not to put pressure on him to figure 0:13:22.960 --> 0:13:25.079 out the answer, but working it together and you will 0:13:25.200 --> 0:13:27.120 hear more of where his heart is. If you put 0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:33.720 pressure on him, Odds are he's gonna break because his focus, right, 0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:37.400 a man's focus is to build the ship. Then bring 0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:40.360 your woman aboard. He's found a career, he's found an 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:43.480 opportunity to build his ship. It sounds like right, So 0:13:43.559 --> 0:13:47.120 until he's built it, until he's there working, knows his schedule, 0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:49.880 knows his ins and outs, knows where the grocery store, 0:13:50.000 --> 0:13:53.000 like knows his ship. You know, if you will it's 0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:55.720 until then it's hard to find a way to bring 0:13:55.760 --> 0:14:00.559 the woman aboard when a man is chasing a dream. Absolutely, 0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:04.320 I actually wasn't expecting you to say all that, and 0:14:04.400 --> 0:14:07.720 it makes so much sense, and it's making me hopeful 0:14:07.760 --> 0:14:10.440 that like we could continue to build it, maybe even 0:14:10.800 --> 0:14:15.480 distance forward. You know, absolutely they don't if that that's 0:14:15.520 --> 0:14:18.840 the guy, trust me. Um, long distance may suck, but 0:14:19.120 --> 0:14:21.080 it will be well worth it and you'll see that 0:14:21.160 --> 0:14:25.280 in a couple of months. Yeah, absolutely, thank you, Absolutely, 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:30.800 I'm here for it. Thanks. Hey, But now the people, 0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:34.080 what's on your mind? So I have my eye on 0:14:34.200 --> 0:14:37.360 this guy and I really want to catch his attention. Um, 0:14:37.400 --> 0:14:42.080 but he's like really into movies, like the history of movies. Um, 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:45.440 is it weird if I like do my research to 0:14:45.560 --> 0:14:48.760 talk to him about movies, Like I just I can't 0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:51.160 tell if it's if that's like I catch me enough, 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:53.320 Like will he will he like that? Or do that? 0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:55.720 Or do you? Guys usually like I don't know, like 0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:59.800 girls that have opposite interests to them, So depending on 0:14:59.840 --> 0:15:02.360 the got I mean, everybody likes to add more value 0:15:02.360 --> 0:15:05.800 to life. So you bringing in perspective and bringing in perspective, 0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:09.160 maybe he likes outdoors, maybe like indoors, and then it works, right, 0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:13.160 But when when it comes to an interest, people love 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:18.840 people that have similarities and interests. So by you listen, 0:15:19.760 --> 0:15:24.160 I um, I met uh. This is a funny story, right, 0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:27.600 So me meet a girl that likes if I if 0:15:27.640 --> 0:15:29.400 I want to, if I'm interested in a girl, right 0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:33.080 and she likes country music and I hate country music, 0:15:33.640 --> 0:15:36.040 I would go listen to country music and a few 0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:38.800 artists just to be able to find out what are 0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:41.120 the popular songs and country what are the what are 0:15:41.160 --> 0:15:44.160 the most popular artists in countries, So that way in 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:46.840 a dialogue we have something to relate to. It's gonna 0:15:46.880 --> 0:15:49.800 make her happy. Now is that wrong or right? I 0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:51.440 can't tell you, but I'm gonna tell you what it's. 0:15:51.680 --> 0:15:53.880 The outcome of that is that you're going to be 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:56.560 more connected. It's smart, and I can tell that you 0:15:56.600 --> 0:16:00.520 care if you're already considering studying some it's or buff 0:16:02.120 --> 0:16:04.280 acts in order to connect with them. So I would 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:08.800 suggest do it, um and even in a playful way, 0:16:08.920 --> 0:16:12.920 you know, to let him know, hey listen, I depending 0:16:12.960 --> 0:16:15.360 depending on the vibe, even telling him that you did 0:16:15.440 --> 0:16:19.480 that may even show him that like one of the 0:16:19.480 --> 0:16:22.840 most beautiful things. Again, this is how men think. One 0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:26.000 of the most attractive things to a man is a 0:16:26.120 --> 0:16:31.600 woman's willingness. Like the fact that you're willing to go 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:34.680 to a football game. Nobody's expecting you to understand it, 0:16:35.720 --> 0:16:37.760 you know what I mean. This is a different but 0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:41.359 you do great. But the willingness to go, the willingness 0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:43.440 just and I'm I'm assuming I can't speak for women, 0:16:43.480 --> 0:16:45.560 but I'm assuming it's probably the same for a woman, 0:16:46.000 --> 0:16:48.960 Like the willingness to set down and watch a you know, 0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:53.520 romantic comedy. The willingness to do it is what's connective 0:16:53.520 --> 0:16:56.560 and attractive. So I would say, keep yourself fun, open 0:16:56.560 --> 0:17:00.680 and willing and go study that history. I will thank 0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:04.960 you so much. That was very helpful. Have a good one, 0:17:05.920 --> 0:17:09.240 take care. And by the way, I like country music. 0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:14.080 It's great. Hey, Lisa, how you doing? You want a 0:17:14.080 --> 0:17:16.360 hot line or how man? Thank you for Sean Jenens. 0:17:16.920 --> 0:17:20.720 Hey there, Hi, how you doing. I'm amazing, I'm amazing. 0:17:20.800 --> 0:17:24.400 What's on your mind? Okay? Well, all right, here's the deal. 0:17:24.880 --> 0:17:28.040 My husband, we've been married a long time and he's 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:32.000 been a really good career and um, he's actually it's 0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:35.080 kind of exciting he's able to retire at a pretty 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:38.600 young age. And um, there's one thing. Last night he 0:17:38.680 --> 0:17:41.840 was expressing to me that he feels kind of like 0:17:41.920 --> 0:17:44.240 a little bit, um, like he's feeling lonely or he's 0:17:44.240 --> 0:17:46.240 afraid he's gonna feel kind of lost without his career. 0:17:46.280 --> 0:17:49.159 He had a really big career and um, you know, 0:17:49.160 --> 0:17:51.080 when he retires, he doesn't know what he's gonna do 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:53.159 with himself, you know what I mean. And so he 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:55.560 was kind of expressing me the sense of loss or 0:17:55.720 --> 0:17:58.560 or feeling alone. And and I want to know. I 0:17:58.560 --> 0:18:00.639 want to know from you because I think are so great. 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:03.280 I want to know, um, you know a great smile too. 0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:05.800 I want to know, um, what I can do to 0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:09.000 help him, like encourage him. I've always been kind of 0:18:09.040 --> 0:18:12.000 a supporter and a cheerleader. But you know, I'm just 0:18:12.040 --> 0:18:13.480 trying to think of a way, you know, how to 0:18:13.480 --> 0:18:15.479 help him in this change in his life. Is there 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:19.000 anything special I could do for him? What do you suggest? Yeah, 0:18:19.000 --> 0:18:21.919 I appreciate that, Lisa, And Um, I would say that 0:18:22.040 --> 0:18:26.920 transition in a man's life could be tough. At Tom's, 0:18:27.320 --> 0:18:32.800 especially that the career change, Um, a man feels the 0:18:33.480 --> 0:18:40.119 innate draw to lead and provide. And I will say 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:45.320 that there is there's respect. Um. A woman's job is 0:18:45.359 --> 0:18:49.720 to respect a man, right and and this is my opinion, 0:18:49.800 --> 0:18:54.360 right um. And a man's job is to love a woman. Right. 0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:59.879 So those two seemingly are the same, but they have 0:19:00.600 --> 0:19:06.240 different intentionalities and details. Um. I would say, if he 0:19:06.440 --> 0:19:11.800 feels the support in respect from you, rightly, I think 0:19:11.920 --> 0:19:16.880 naturally it would help him transition. Um. You know, going 0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:19.240 from one career to another. It's difficult, and he's going 0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:24.640 to have these I maybe even identities of of crisis 0:19:24.680 --> 0:19:26.399 of what do I do what I show for how 0:19:26.440 --> 0:19:29.480 to approve myself? I am a worthy it's self, not 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:32.640 even necessarily to you. He might be battling the man 0:19:32.680 --> 0:19:36.520 in the mirror, um, for his own proof to himself 0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:38.679 that he's a leader in all these things. So I 0:19:38.680 --> 0:19:42.000 would just encourage him to um, whatever he brings up 0:19:42.440 --> 0:19:44.600 that he wants to do, encourage him to do it 0:19:45.240 --> 0:19:51.160 um truly, and in trying not to question him through 0:19:51.200 --> 0:19:54.120 the process, because he When you ask somebody a question 0:19:54.200 --> 0:19:56.920 that they do not have the answers to, they get 0:19:56.920 --> 0:20:00.400 really piste when they feel they're supposed to answer it, right, 0:20:00.520 --> 0:20:03.400 and so like in a relationship, if if you don't, 0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:06.280 if you know he doesn't know the answer, don't ask 0:20:06.320 --> 0:20:09.639 him because it becomes very frustrating. If if if you 0:20:09.840 --> 0:20:11.680 say you're opposed to cook dinner, I'm like, hey, what's 0:20:11.720 --> 0:20:13.840 for dinner? And you don't know what you're gonna cook, 0:20:14.200 --> 0:20:17.240 that's when you get frustrated. But if you have a plan, Hey, 0:20:17.240 --> 0:20:19.600 well we're gonna cook. I got this. This, this it 0:20:19.640 --> 0:20:24.400 feels better. So I tell women, and I suggested women 0:20:24.480 --> 0:20:27.880 don't ask a man a question. That's that's sincere if 0:20:27.920 --> 0:20:31.720 he doesn't if you don't think he has that plan yet, right, 0:20:32.119 --> 0:20:35.320 you know, I remember one time, um a therapist told me, 0:20:35.359 --> 0:20:37.440 you know, when you're suffering, you need to make a plan. 0:20:37.920 --> 0:20:40.120 So you're you're really spot on on this. I mean, 0:20:40.200 --> 0:20:43.440 I think because without a plan, you you do feel lost, right, 0:20:43.480 --> 0:20:45.240 I mean, you know, you feel like you're you have 0:20:45.280 --> 0:20:47.520 nowhere to go and what to do, and and you know, 0:20:47.680 --> 0:20:51.200 I just I know sometimes I don't want him just 0:20:51.320 --> 0:20:53.360 moping around, So I'm gonna try and you know, use 0:20:53.400 --> 0:20:57.240 my enthusiasm that I already have and and to try 0:20:57.280 --> 0:20:59.600 to like you know, make things. So I think you 0:20:59.600 --> 0:21:02.520 really reagered something me about this having a plan kind 0:21:02.520 --> 0:21:04.960 of thing and and helping him find kind of a 0:21:05.000 --> 0:21:08.119 way to have a you know, a plan maybe travel 0:21:08.240 --> 0:21:10.560 or something like that, you know, or or even write 0:21:10.560 --> 0:21:13.119 a book maybe right right, Hey, writing a book is 0:21:13.280 --> 0:21:16.640 is therapeutic. And I would also encourage you through that 0:21:16.720 --> 0:21:22.040 transition to um give time. Um. You know, transition is 0:21:22.080 --> 0:21:25.600 not one of them things that are very simple. Um. 0:21:25.680 --> 0:21:28.320 And it doesn't happen overnight, especially you know, for me, 0:21:28.359 --> 0:21:30.159 I told you I played in the NFL for a 0:21:30.200 --> 0:21:32.359 total of eight years, but I've been playing since I 0:21:32.400 --> 0:21:34.440 was six, and that's pretty much what I want to accomplish. 0:21:34.480 --> 0:21:37.800 And when I had to transition, it was easier for 0:21:37.840 --> 0:21:40.960 me because I never thought I was a football player. 0:21:41.320 --> 0:21:43.119 I just happened to do it, so it was different 0:21:43.200 --> 0:21:46.160 and my identity wasn't in it. Actually into your point 0:21:46.720 --> 0:21:49.160 when you said it sounds like something that a counselor said. 0:21:49.160 --> 0:21:51.080 I'm actually studied to be a premier to merit the 0:21:51.119 --> 0:21:53.160 counselor because I love love. I think it's the best 0:21:53.280 --> 0:21:57.080 item of clothing anybody could ever wear. Um. People illuminate 0:21:57.200 --> 0:21:59.160 once it's on them. So if I could help people 0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:02.439 wear a love I try, um, and so I do 0:22:02.680 --> 0:22:07.240 encourage you to keep the idea of whatever it is 0:22:07.280 --> 0:22:11.600 I'm saying or asking him, is it in a respectful way? 0:22:11.800 --> 0:22:14.680 And it will help him so much throughout this time, 0:22:15.040 --> 0:22:17.080 well at least I look forward to hopefully we'll come 0:22:17.119 --> 0:22:19.760 back with some good news. Yes, I'd love to talk 0:22:19.760 --> 0:22:26.320 to you again. All right, take care? Thanks? Bye? Hey Colleen, Hi, 0:22:27.000 --> 0:22:30.639 how are you good? How are you good? So you're on? 0:22:31.200 --> 0:22:33.840 How man? Think here? We're for shot, Jennis. I want 0:22:33.840 --> 0:22:36.600 to see what's on your mind before you actually say anything. 0:22:37.080 --> 0:22:42.280 Your name? I had to ask. Somebody told me that 0:22:42.320 --> 0:22:46.880 Colleen is calling? I said, Colleen Calleen is Colleen? Has 0:22:47.040 --> 0:22:49.720 have you ever heard that joke? Yes? All right, I 0:22:49.760 --> 0:22:55.200 feel better. I feel better. Well, what's on your mind? Um? 0:22:55.240 --> 0:22:58.200 So I'm single, but I'm having like a hard time 0:22:58.400 --> 0:23:01.800 finding a genuine connect shin. I just feel like really 0:23:01.920 --> 0:23:05.920 underwhelmed by the dating apps because no one ever wants 0:23:06.000 --> 0:23:09.280 like follow through and meet in person. You spend like 0:23:09.320 --> 0:23:12.680 a few days chatting, but then like nothing, you never 0:23:12.760 --> 0:23:16.840 hear from them again. So my question is, um, is 0:23:16.880 --> 0:23:19.040 there a way to send a message to get someone 0:23:19.119 --> 0:23:23.960 to meet in person without sounding like super desperate. UM 0:23:24.119 --> 0:23:28.760 to that, I would say, there isn't a singular message 0:23:28.840 --> 0:23:33.920 because everybody is an individual and things and absorbs the 0:23:33.960 --> 0:23:38.520 information different, So it wouldn't be one message that will 0:23:38.560 --> 0:23:42.560 work for all. UM. And with that in mind, you 0:23:42.560 --> 0:23:45.720