WEBVTT - Celebrating 7 years of Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>episode is going to be a slightly longer one, but

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<v Speaker 1>instead of interviewing someone fascinating about how they take their

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<v Speaker 1>days from great to awesome, I am going to be

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<v Speaker 1>talking about some of the best tips I have heard

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<v Speaker 1>over the years and that have been shared on Before

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<v Speaker 1>Breakfast so all of us can make our days a

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<v Speaker 1>little better. Before Breakfast launched in March of twenty nineteen,

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<v Speaker 1>so this episode is celebrating seven years of the show.

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<v Speaker 1>This is a daily podcast, and yes, there's been a

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<v Speaker 1>new episode every weekday morning for the past seven years.

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<v Speaker 1>That is a lot of episodes, and it is a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of morning It's a lot of ideas on how

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<v Speaker 1>to do life better. For the first five or so years,

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<v Speaker 1>the show was only short episodes, approximately four to six

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<v Speaker 1>minutes each. Then in late twenty twenty four, I began

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<v Speaker 1>adding one interview episode a week so we could hear

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<v Speaker 1>from other people about their expertise and their strategies. It's

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<v Speaker 1>been fun for me to talk with all kinds of

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<v Speaker 1>amazing people and to share these conversations with you. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>today I'm going to be talking through some of my

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<v Speaker 1>favorite ideas from the first year of the show. If

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<v Speaker 1>you just joined us in the past year or so,

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<v Speaker 1>I encourage you to go back through the archives see

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<v Speaker 1>what you missed. But here is some very practical advice

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<v Speaker 1>from twenty nineteen that I think still holds up now.

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<v Speaker 1>For instance, on March twenty ninth, twenty nineteen, I suggested

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<v Speaker 1>listeners plan something fun for Sunday nights. Even people who

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<v Speaker 1>like their jobs can often feel a sense of trepidation

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<v Speaker 1>those Sunday scaries by Sunday afternoon. One way to avoid

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<v Speaker 1>those scaries is to plan in something you can anticipate

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<v Speaker 1>for later in the weekend. After all, if you are

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<v Speaker 1>meeting friends for dinner on Sunday night, you will be

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<v Speaker 1>thinking about your dinner rather than Monday morning for much

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<v Speaker 1>of Sunday afternoon, and that is a lot more fun. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>Sunday night is a school night, so you might want

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<v Speaker 1>to do something simple and not plan on being out

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<v Speaker 1>too late. But there is no reason to lose Sunday

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<v Speaker 1>mentally to Monday. Enjoy every second of Sunday that you can.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's another twenty nineteen idea that is related to weekends.

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<v Speaker 1>On May third, twenty nineteen, I did an episode saying

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<v Speaker 1>don't grocery shop on weekends. Now, I know, I know

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<v Speaker 1>that really feels like the time it fits for a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of people with full time jobs. But grocery stores

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<v Speaker 1>are often very busy on weekends since everybody shops in,

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<v Speaker 1>so it will take a lot of time to get

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<v Speaker 1>in and get out and battle the crowds. Grocery shopping

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<v Speaker 1>on weekends also reinforces the idea that weekends are for

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<v Speaker 1>chores and errands. But are they? I think it might

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<v Speaker 1>be wise to keep the focus on family time and

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<v Speaker 1>rejuvenating leisure. Maybe chores and errands can be done during

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<v Speaker 1>the week when you are already in work mode. A

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<v Speaker 1>lot of grocery stores are open late. If you've got

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<v Speaker 1>a fly, maybe one parent does bedtime and the other

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<v Speaker 1>goes out grocery shopping. Or if you work from home

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<v Speaker 1>on occasion, maybe you could use what would have been

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<v Speaker 1>the commute time someday to shop. The shopping will take

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<v Speaker 1>less time during the week than during the madness of

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<v Speaker 1>a Saturday afternoon, and you will be able to use

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<v Speaker 1>the weekends for other things. On June sixth, twenty nineteen,

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<v Speaker 1>the before Breakfast tip was to schedule a mental health morning. Now.

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<v Speaker 1>This was a listener's suggestion. Someone noted that it was

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<v Speaker 1>often hard to take a full day of PTO if

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<v Speaker 1>you had various responsibilities, and when people do take PTO,

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<v Speaker 1>they often want to use it for longer vacations. But

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<v Speaker 1>it might be possible to take half a day off

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<v Speaker 1>and use that time for something restorative. For instance, if

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<v Speaker 1>you had a dentist appointment at eleven am, you might

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<v Speaker 1>purposefully take the morning off until then and do something

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<v Speaker 1>that would soothe your soul, reading hobbies, maybe seeing a

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<v Speaker 1>friend with some flexibility in their schedule. Even a little

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<v Speaker 1>break can go a long way toward making life feel

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<v Speaker 1>more sustainable. If you schedule your mental health morning and

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<v Speaker 1>for a week or two ahead of time, then you

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<v Speaker 1>can look forward to it, and I believe that anticipation

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<v Speaker 1>is one of the best forms of self care out there.

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<v Speaker 1>In that same vein of taking small breaks, on June twelfth,

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<v Speaker 1>twenty nineteen, we talked about how Wednesday is the best

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<v Speaker 1>day to work from home now. This episode aired long

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<v Speaker 1>before COVID, when working from home became a lot more common.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes before Breakfast was around before the pandemic. Back in

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<v Speaker 1>twenty nineteen, people were writing whole think pieces on the

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<v Speaker 1>angst of negotiation to work from home just one day

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<v Speaker 1>a week. Then, as now, the most common day people

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<v Speaker 1>would ask for was Friday, And on some level it

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<v Speaker 1>makes sense, as Fridays tend to be slower, people thought

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<v Speaker 1>their managers would be most likely to approve Fridays as well,

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<v Speaker 1>people often work less on Fridays, or maybe leave a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit earlier, and so the perceived opportunity cost is lower.

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<v Speaker 1>But the problem is that buys into the idea that

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<v Speaker 1>people who are working from home aren't really working. Choosing

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<v Speaker 1>Friday just limits the damage. Now you and I both

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<v Speaker 1>know this isn't true. Many of us work quite hard

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<v Speaker 1>from home. So I suggested that people consider negotiating to

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<v Speaker 1>work from home on Wednesdays. That way, if you have

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<v Speaker 1>a long commute, you will only have to do it

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<v Speaker 1>twice in a row. Wednesday provides a nice mid way

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<v Speaker 1>week break from the usual routines. You could use Wednesday

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<v Speaker 1>to hunker down and work on all the deliverables coming

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<v Speaker 1>out of the meetings on the other days. I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>sure how many people took me up on this idea

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<v Speaker 1>to negotiate to work from home on Wednesday, but I

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<v Speaker 1>still think it's a good one. So We're going to

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<v Speaker 1>take a quick ad break and then I will be

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<v Speaker 1>back with some more historic Before Breakfast ideas from the

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<v Speaker 1>first year. Well we are back. I am sharing some

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<v Speaker 1>of my favorite tips from the first year of Before

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<v Speaker 1>Breakfast as we celebrate the show's seventh anniversary. So, speaking

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<v Speaker 1>of dealing with long commutes, as we were talking about

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<v Speaker 1>before the break on July tenth of twenty nineteen, I

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<v Speaker 1>suggested people try to commute with a friend. Not every day,

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<v Speaker 1>of course, but given how much people hate their commutes

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<v Speaker 1>and how many people say they wish they could see

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<v Speaker 1>their friends more, I am surprised at how little this

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<v Speaker 1>actually happens. For a lot of people. Commuting time is

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<v Speaker 1>almost entirely wasted. Turning it into relationship building time would

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<v Speaker 1>massively upgrade the experience. Now, I know that carpooling involves

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<v Speaker 1>a fair amount of planning and coordination, not everyone lives

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<v Speaker 1>near each other or works in similar places. Even for

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<v Speaker 1>people who do live near each other or even live

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<v Speaker 1>with each other and who work near each other, it

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<v Speaker 1>might be a little inconvenient. It might add a few

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<v Speaker 1>minutes onto the trip. You might lose a sense of

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<v Speaker 1>absolute flexibility on when you can leave. But what an upside.

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<v Speaker 1>If a friend, their family member, or partner works anywhere

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<v Speaker 1>near you, it would be worth trying even just one

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<v Speaker 1>day a week or one day every two weeks as

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<v Speaker 1>a way to reclaim a few minutes and make something

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<v Speaker 1>that is not fun feel a lot more fun. On

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<v Speaker 1>July twenty fifth of twenty nineteen, our Before Breakfast episodes

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<v Speaker 1>suggested that people read at lunch. When people take a

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<v Speaker 1>lunch break, the temptation is often to read headlines or

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<v Speaker 1>scroll around on social media if they're not with somebody else,

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<v Speaker 1>and it feels kind of relaxing. But reading a real

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<v Speaker 1>book would feel even more indulgent. And this reading time

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<v Speaker 1>does add up. If you read for fifteen minutes at

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<v Speaker 1>lunch five times a week, that's another one point two

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<v Speaker 1>five hours of reading per week. A lot of books

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<v Speaker 1>take about three to four to read, so if you

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<v Speaker 1>do the math, that's like adding another book every three

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<v Speaker 1>to four weeks right there. That gives you an extra

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<v Speaker 1>fourteen to seventeen extra books per year without really giving

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<v Speaker 1>anything up. That certainly sounds like a win to me.

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<v Speaker 1>Instead of losing time in general to small things, collecting

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<v Speaker 1>these bits of time ephemera and focusing them on one

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<v Speaker 1>thing can make life feel a lot more fulfilling. On

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<v Speaker 1>August twelfth of twenty nineteen, a listener suggested a hack

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<v Speaker 1>which became an episode called Create a Better to Do List.

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<v Speaker 1>The idea was to give all tasks on your to

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<v Speaker 1>do list an actual time. The basic idea here is

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<v Speaker 1>that tasks take time, so if there is not a

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<v Speaker 1>designated time to do the tasks, they are probably not

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<v Speaker 1>going to happen. This is a very simple idea, but

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<v Speaker 1>it is so true, and so many people try to

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<v Speaker 1>ignore it. They put things on the to do list

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<v Speaker 1>with no available time to do them, and then get

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<v Speaker 1>frustrated when they don't make it through their to do list. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>some of us have reasonably flexible jobs and so we

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<v Speaker 1>don't have to be quite as rigid about exact times

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<v Speaker 1>for everything on our to do lists. But if you

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<v Speaker 1>do happen to have a job or a situation where

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<v Speaker 1>time is tight, as you are making your to do

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<v Speaker 1>list for the next day, figure out when you will

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<v Speaker 1>do each task, where on your calendar will it go.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe you will need to move things around, or maybe

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<v Speaker 1>you will need to limit your to do list. You

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<v Speaker 1>might have to make some hard choices, but you know

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<v Speaker 1>that is not a bad thing. Choices lead to a

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<v Speaker 1>to do list that is actually doable. On September twenty three,

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<v Speaker 1>twenty nineteen, I suggested something that could make email more fun.

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<v Speaker 1>Reach out to someone you admire. If someone has done

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<v Speaker 1>something cool in the world, send them an email and

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<v Speaker 1>let them know that you thought it was cool or

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<v Speaker 1>if it had an impact on you. Now, if the

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<v Speaker 1>particular person is really well known or famous, they might

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<v Speaker 1>not respond, but a lot of these emails do in

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<v Speaker 1>fact get read. You will feel good sending it, and

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<v Speaker 1>most likely the person will feel good reading it, or

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<v Speaker 1>at least someone on the person's team will feel good

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<v Speaker 1>knowing that they are doing good in the world. There's

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<v Speaker 1>really no downside. This is true for sending positive emails

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<v Speaker 1>in general. Let an old friend or colleague know your

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<v Speaker 1>thinking about them. I'm guessing that you couldn't mind getting

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<v Speaker 1>a similar email from someone else, so that can be

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<v Speaker 1>your guiding principle for whether to send these things. On

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<v Speaker 1>September twenty sixth, twenty nineteen, I shared one of my

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<v Speaker 1>favorite suggestions for how people with young kids can have

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<v Speaker 1>more real leisure time. Give each parent one night off.

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<v Speaker 1>The idea is that if you are in a two

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<v Speaker 1>parent family, or at least your co parenting with someone,

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<v Speaker 1>each of you gets one night off from caregiving duties

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<v Speaker 1>to go do something that is not work and is

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<v Speaker 1>not taking care of family members, but is fun for you.

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<v Speaker 1>For instance, maybe one of you sings an a choir

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<v Speaker 1>on Tuesdays and the other person plays in a pickleball

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<v Speaker 1>league on Thursdays. The kids are still with a parent

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<v Speaker 1>on each of these nights, but each parent gets to

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<v Speaker 1>feel like a full person, maybe even keeping up with

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<v Speaker 1>interests they have from before kids. A lot of parents

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<v Speaker 1>feel like they have no time for fun, but I

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<v Speaker 1>find that many times people aren't using all the resources

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<v Speaker 1>that are available to them. Your co parent is a resource,

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<v Speaker 1>and you have a joint pool of hours. Each of

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<v Speaker 1>you can take some time for you, as long as

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<v Speaker 1>you trade off and keep it fair. Now, I know

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<v Speaker 1>all families don't look like this, but maybe you could

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<v Speaker 1>swap nights with someone else in your life to take

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<v Speaker 1>a night for you. A friend, a neighbor, an extended

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<v Speaker 1>family member. I'm betting that it can still work. We're

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<v Speaker 1>going to take one more quick ad break and then

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<v Speaker 1>I will be back with some more historic Before Breakfast advice. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I am back talking ideas from the first year of

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast as we celebrate this show's seventh anniversary on

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<v Speaker 1>October eighth, twenty nineteen. I suggested that listeners become a

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<v Speaker 1>regular somewhere. A lot of people feel disconnected these days,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe even a little bit lonely. It's good to go

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<v Speaker 1>somewhere where everybody knows your name, as they sang in

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<v Speaker 1>the theme song for Cheers. If you and your family

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<v Speaker 1>like to go out to eat twice a month, maybe

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<v Speaker 1>you make a point of going to the same restaurant

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<v Speaker 1>for one of those times, so you eat at the

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<v Speaker 1>same place twelve times a year and you get to

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<v Speaker 1>know the establishment. Or maybe you always go to the

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<v Speaker 1>same bar with your pickleball league after your games. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>you and your running buddy stop at the same coffee

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<v Speaker 1>shop for coffee after your run every Saturday morning, and

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<v Speaker 1>so you get to know the people who work there

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<v Speaker 1>at that time and the regulars who are also getting

0:16:05.160 --> 0:16:11.080
<v Speaker 1>their coffee. You can learn people's names. You could say hello,

0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:14.360
<v Speaker 1>and even though you don't have a close relationship with

0:16:14.400 --> 0:16:18.800
<v Speaker 1>these people, you'll feel like someone in the universe knows

0:16:18.840 --> 0:16:24.040
<v Speaker 1>about you and knows you exist. Plus, you develop favorites

0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:26.680
<v Speaker 1>that you could start to tell others about and have

0:16:26.840 --> 0:16:30.600
<v Speaker 1>some knowledge here everyone likes the guacamole at that particular

0:16:30.640 --> 0:16:36.000
<v Speaker 1>Mexican place. You know, that sort of thing. On December sixth,

0:16:36.160 --> 0:16:40.600
<v Speaker 1>twenty nineteen, we talked about the wisdom of trying forty

0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:44.800
<v Speaker 1>minute meetings. There is no real reason that meetings have

0:16:44.880 --> 0:16:49.120
<v Speaker 1>to default to thirty or sixty minutes. If you might

0:16:49.200 --> 0:16:53.240
<v Speaker 1>be tempted to schedule something for an hour, see if

0:16:53.240 --> 0:16:57.040
<v Speaker 1>you can construct the agenda to be done in forty

0:16:57.040 --> 0:17:01.800
<v Speaker 1>minutes instead. This leaves time for making sure everyone is

0:17:01.920 --> 0:17:05.160
<v Speaker 1>clear on all the next steps, and maybe even doing

0:17:05.240 --> 0:17:07.480
<v Speaker 1>some of those next steps. You can send those emails

0:17:07.560 --> 0:17:10.680
<v Speaker 1>right then. This also lets people go to the bathroom

0:17:10.840 --> 0:17:13.600
<v Speaker 1>or get a cup of coffee and get to their

0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:18.359
<v Speaker 1>next meeting on time. One of the reasons people often

0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:22.159
<v Speaker 1>feel frantic or so behind during the workday is that

0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:27.840
<v Speaker 1>we often don't build in time for transitions. But even

0:17:27.840 --> 0:17:32.040
<v Speaker 1>if you are meeting virtually and not in person, transitions

0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:37.680
<v Speaker 1>don't take zero time. They do take sometime build them

0:17:37.720 --> 0:17:41.920
<v Speaker 1>in and everyone will be a lot more calm and

0:17:42.440 --> 0:17:48.719
<v Speaker 1>a lot happier. Finally, on December sixteenth, I suggested that

0:17:48.840 --> 0:17:55.119
<v Speaker 1>busy people make mornings into family time. Sometimes the time

0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:59.520
<v Speaker 1>after work can be hard to use well. People are tired.

0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:02.560
<v Speaker 1>Young kids might need to go to bed on the

0:18:02.600 --> 0:18:04.960
<v Speaker 1>early side, which limits how much you can see them then.

0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:09.440
<v Speaker 1>But from my experience, many young kids also wake up

0:18:09.840 --> 0:18:13.239
<v Speaker 1>at the crack of dawn. If your kid is up

0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:16.600
<v Speaker 1>at let's say five thirty am, and you don't need

0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:20.560
<v Speaker 1>to leave for work until eight thirty am, this is

0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:24.679
<v Speaker 1>three hours you could potentially be spending together, and my

0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:27.919
<v Speaker 1>guess is you don't need all of it for getting ready.

0:18:29.440 --> 0:18:32.320
<v Speaker 1>With a few exceptions, whatever playing you would have done

0:18:32.320 --> 0:18:36.120
<v Speaker 1>in the evening can be done in the morning. Yep,

0:18:36.160 --> 0:18:38.040
<v Speaker 1>you can go to a playground at seven thirty in

0:18:38.040 --> 0:18:41.000
<v Speaker 1>the morning if you like, even if you don't have

0:18:41.080 --> 0:18:45.480
<v Speaker 1>little kids. Trying a family breakfast or building in enough

0:18:45.520 --> 0:18:48.199
<v Speaker 1>time into a morning to talk with your partner or

0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:52.239
<v Speaker 1>talk with your teenage children can make mornings feel a

0:18:52.240 --> 0:18:56.080
<v Speaker 1>lot more satisfying. They don't just need to be about

0:18:56.200 --> 0:18:59.679
<v Speaker 1>racing out the door. We can take our days from

0:18:59.760 --> 0:19:03.240
<v Speaker 1>g to awesome by being more mindful of the time

0:19:03.240 --> 0:19:12.040
<v Speaker 1>that already exists and moving our mindset from surviving to thriving. Anyway,

0:19:12.119 --> 0:19:15.199
<v Speaker 1>those are some of my favorite tips from the first

0:19:15.440 --> 0:19:19.360
<v Speaker 1>year of the show. Thank you so much for listening

0:19:19.359 --> 0:19:22.320
<v Speaker 1>to Before Breakfast. It has been a great seven years

0:19:22.359 --> 0:19:25.440
<v Speaker 1>since March of twenty nineteen, and I hope you will

0:19:25.480 --> 0:19:29.399
<v Speaker 1>continue to tune in every morning for more tips on

0:19:29.520 --> 0:19:34.480
<v Speaker 1>taking days from great to awesome. What have been your

0:19:34.560 --> 0:19:38.639
<v Speaker 1>favorite episodes of Before Breakfast? You can let me know

0:19:38.840 --> 0:19:40.679
<v Speaker 1>or let me know any feedback and what you'd like

0:19:40.720 --> 0:19:47.360
<v Speaker 1>to see more of at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.

0:19:47.480 --> 0:19:53.639
<v Speaker 1>In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and

0:19:53.760 --> 0:20:03.840
<v Speaker 1>here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for

0:20:03.920 --> 0:20:08.680
<v Speaker 1>listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback,

0:20:09.000 --> 0:20:18.360
<v Speaker 1>you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.

0:20:18.440 --> 0:20:22.520
<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts

0:20:22.520 --> 0:20:27.119
<v Speaker 1>from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

0:20:27.160 --> 0:20:29.000
<v Speaker 1>wherever you listen to your favorite shows.