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Speaker 1: A's is a leading cause of death in African Americans,

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Speaker 1: especially in young women. HIV effects African American heterosexual women

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Speaker 1: more than any woman of any other race. One in

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Speaker 1: forty eight African American women may be diagnosed with HIV

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Speaker 1: in their lifetime. I would be hosting a virtually event

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Speaker 1: on December one at seven pm Easter, which is World's

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Speaker 1: Age Day, to unite in the fight against HIV, to

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Speaker 1: show support for people living with HIV and to remember

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Speaker 1: honor those who die from an age related illness. If

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Speaker 1: you are interested in attending this virtualy event, please visit

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Speaker 1: the link in the show notes below. With that being said,

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Speaker 1: I hope you all really do enjoy this week's episode

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Speaker 1: as it is a follow up episode with my guests

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Speaker 1: from episode two. I am HIV positive. Her story is

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Speaker 1: beyond inspirational and I really do hope that y'all enjoy it.

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Speaker 1: Until next time, everyone, Thanks for always holding me down

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Speaker 1: and now holding me up later. Welcome. You are now

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Speaker 1: listening to the professional Professional Professional. Hey professional Home girls,

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Speaker 1: and it's your girl. Eban a from the PSD podcast,

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Speaker 1: the only place where you would hear interviews from women

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Speaker 1: anoviously on stories that were enlightened and expand on taboo topics. Now,

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Speaker 1: if you hear someone that sounds familiar, mind abits to

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Speaker 1: pays you child. If you like the PSD podcast, please rate,

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Speaker 1: review and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Please five star reviews only.

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Speaker 1: Hold me down, don't hold me up. You can connect

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Speaker 1: with me on Instagram at the Professional home Girl, at

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Speaker 1: the PSC podcast, and last not Least at and a Beauty.

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Speaker 1: If you are all caught up with episodes, listen to

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Speaker 1: bonus episodes by supporting the PSC podcast Patreon account. To support,

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Speaker 1: please visit www dot patreon dot com. Forward slash the

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Speaker 1: PSD podcast Now. Please keep in mind that all of

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Speaker 1: my guests aren't honest. So let's begin this week's episode.

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Speaker 1: As always, I am super excited about speaking with my guests.

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Speaker 1: I haven't spoken to her since March nineteenth, since twenty nineteen,

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Speaker 1: oh wow, right, alright, so what is up? How are

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Speaker 1: you doing? Oh? Life is grand. We're in the year

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Speaker 1: and we're doing the best that we can. So it's wonderful. Um,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm so tired today, Like, and we'll

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Speaker 1: get into all the work that I'm doing. But I've

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Speaker 1: been on calls all week I've done a VIVS from it. Um.

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Speaker 1: I'm working with an organization called the Wealth Project, who

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Speaker 1: I love so much. I do my own business stuff.

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Speaker 1: Feeling is voluntary. I have this nine year old and

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Speaker 1: I just ate today. So if we're gonna speak anything

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Speaker 1: on self care, I've just eaten today since Wednesday. So

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Speaker 1: now I'm not gonna like y'all. She has been like

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Speaker 1: ever since. I mean, we'll get more into it during

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Speaker 1: our interview or if I'm said, I say, but ever

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Speaker 1: since the last time I spoke to you, like, you've

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Speaker 1: been non stopped. Oh it's crazy, it's crazy, and all

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Speaker 1: I can do is just say thank you, guys, thank you,

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Speaker 1: like universe, it's amazing. Um, oh my gosh. So March nineteen,

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Speaker 1: twenty nineteens, Wow, before you sorry, been treating the pandemic. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I cannot complain at all, says like I posed this

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Speaker 1: question to my face book the other day of like

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Speaker 1: his really been the worst year of your life? Um?

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Speaker 1: Because for me, I would say that two thousand seven

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Speaker 1: was the worst year of my life for many different reasons.

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Speaker 1: But this year has definitely been a different one. Um.

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Speaker 1: But as a black woman in America who grew up

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Speaker 1: in poverty. There were some things that that experience had

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Speaker 1: already taught me how to deal with. So like want

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Speaker 1: to know, I know how to work on limited resources,

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Speaker 1: you know, I know how to stretch. I already have

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Speaker 1: a firm foundation and community, so whenever I'm out as something,

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Speaker 1: I can reach out to another person in my community

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Speaker 1: for that, because there's something we've already established in poverty. Um,

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Speaker 1: I'm able that that not knowing you know that, and uh,

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Speaker 1: we already know that they don't really care too much

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Speaker 1: about people that look too much like me, so you

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Speaker 1: kind of have this independence anyway from you know, the

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Speaker 1: bigger structure look like us, look like a white woman.

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Speaker 1: I always try to keep things so personal because I

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Speaker 1: never want to speak for nobody else, but yes, for

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Speaker 1: people that look like us, brown in any shade of brown,

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Speaker 1: the feature that's different. And so yeah, it is what

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Speaker 1: it is. And just getting put in the boots to

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Speaker 1: the ground and getting their working and coming up with

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Speaker 1: like unconventional ways of continuing to move forward. UM, been

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Speaker 1: very creative in that. Um, thank you guys, Like I

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Speaker 1: have had no I haven't had to fall any unemployment

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Speaker 1: claims and like like his grands so is a different one.

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Speaker 1: That's all I cussed when everything happened. Um, the COVID

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Speaker 1: scare you. And the reason why I asked this because

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Speaker 1: I always feel like people that find out about let's

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Speaker 1: say your status, they always are more so scared of you.

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Speaker 1: But not it should it's the other way around, whereas

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Speaker 1: I can get too sicker faster than you can get

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Speaker 1: me sicker. Yes, definitely. Um. At the beginning, I really

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Speaker 1: took it as a joke, to be honest, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: they're coming out with another IRIS. But then I think

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Speaker 1: is we went on the implications word that it wasn't

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Speaker 1: just a joke, that it is serious and so now, Dave,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to get sick because I don't need anything,

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Speaker 1: oh you know, in my life. But in speaking with

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Speaker 1: my medical providers, there was a question I posed to her,

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Speaker 1: was would like, what would COVID look like for someone

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Speaker 1: have been with HIV? And she said, you know, as

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Speaker 1: long as you're taking a medicine and your immune system

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Speaker 1: is working as it should, it wouldn't look any different

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Speaker 1: in you than anyone else. So heaven, that gave me

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Speaker 1: some confidence to continue just living normally. And I'm a caretaker.

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Speaker 1: I care take for a few of my family members.

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Speaker 1: So I'm the one going out in the street because

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Speaker 1: we have some disabled in some um older yes, and

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Speaker 1: my son. Um. So I'm the one going out into

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Speaker 1: the supermarket standing in the long lines, you know. And

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Speaker 1: I felt like the secor official lamb. I used it

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Speaker 1: sometimes to explain, like I'm the one that was willing

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Speaker 1: to go out here and see what it was about,

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Speaker 1: make sure we had all this stuff that we needed,

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Speaker 1: just so that I could keep them safe. And it

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Speaker 1: was a lot of you know, making sure that I'm

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Speaker 1: keeping myself sanitized and my wash face covered. But then

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Speaker 1: still like putting those people. They were a priority to

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Speaker 1: me and they still are over myself. So yes, it

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Speaker 1: scares me, but you gotta do what you gotta do, right.

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Speaker 1: So a fun fact, I learned something that's something about you,

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Speaker 1: and I thought it was so funny because you're always

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Speaker 1: doing it on Instagram. I learned that you want to

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Speaker 1: be a dance for growing up. Oh yes, girl, y'all.

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Speaker 1: She'd be on Instagram doing all types of dance moves.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, what is this girl doing. It's only just

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Speaker 1: moving my hips, okay, but it makes me so happy.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie, and I can tell that it

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Speaker 1: makes you happy. So what are some other ways that

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Speaker 1: you keep your joy? Hashtag self care? So, UM, I

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Speaker 1: think that my spirituality is something that definitely keeps me

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Speaker 1: ruded and that joy so knowing that there's nothing and

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Speaker 1: that you or anybody else could say about me that

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Speaker 1: would replace what I know about myself because I'm a

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Speaker 1: creation as we are, and I'm very firm rooted in that. UM.

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Speaker 1: I like to I like to watch watch YouTube sometimes.

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Speaker 1: That's one of my things that keeps me, um, you know,

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Speaker 1: disconnected from everything else. Wait, wasn't oh my God girl?

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Speaker 1: So I will shamelessly say that I love this one

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Speaker 1: called um Tasha K. But she's so messy. You have

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Speaker 1: to kind of like treat her child and are mind

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Speaker 1: Like I used to pride myself on the faith that

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Speaker 1: I didn't like watch all those popular shows, and I'm

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Speaker 1: on YouTube with it. Um. I'm even still pulling inspiration,

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Speaker 1: you know, from places they are unlikely, because I'm so

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Speaker 1: inspired by you know, anybody that can remain consistent in

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Speaker 1: whatever they're doing and whenever they whenever their face with adversity,

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Speaker 1: they don't give up. Like that is always still so inspiring.

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Speaker 1: I love to it is my purpose here to help

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Speaker 1: other people. So that's the reason why my platforms have

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Speaker 1: been able to continue the way that they have is

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Speaker 1: because there is an authenticity and a genuine love that

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Speaker 1: I have for other people and making you feel better.

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Speaker 1: So I know that if I feel some way about

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Speaker 1: my gut, and I got plenty of it, me getting

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Speaker 1: up here showing my gut or me you know, dancing

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Speaker 1: will inspire another person. So that's joy in a nutshell.

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Speaker 1: So one thing about you, child is you stay with

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Speaker 1: a man, honey, m So how has your day life then? Well,

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Speaker 1: so if we talk them marks of last year, everything

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Speaker 1: was probably really good. But I'm just we're just going

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Speaker 1: through a little breakup right now, so trying to like,

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Speaker 1: you know, phase that person out of my life. Um hmm.

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Speaker 1: Getting to a point where I got shipped to do, like,

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Speaker 1: I got stuff to take care of, and everybody's not

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Speaker 1: really ready to go on the journey with you, no

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Speaker 1: matter how bad you want them to be there. So

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Speaker 1: now I'm in there, not a new space, but rejoining

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Speaker 1: the space of being single and being alone and what

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Speaker 1: that looks like, and it looks so much different to

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Speaker 1: me now than it has previously because I have so

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Speaker 1: much going on, so I don't I don't really know

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Speaker 1: what dating would be. Did you learn anything about yourself

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Speaker 1: from dating? And not with this last person, but just

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Speaker 1: in general, because I feel like when I look at

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Speaker 1: where you are now and I listened to our first conversation, like,

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Speaker 1: I can't even hear a change in your tone. So

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Speaker 1: did what did you learn different? Or what did you

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Speaker 1: learn doing and dating? Um that I'm not going to settle,

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Speaker 1: like my HIV status doesn't have to make me accept

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Speaker 1: someone else's baggage, you know, because at some point I

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Speaker 1: would I thought that, I thought that, oh, since you

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Speaker 1: would set me living with HIV, then I have yeah,

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Speaker 1: all of it? And no, no, no, at some point

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Speaker 1: there's a fucking cutoff because I'm not coming to the

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Speaker 1: table with that. M So have they like don't in

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Speaker 1: your face before? Oh yeah, that's hurtful. Oh yeah, a

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Speaker 1: dirty What did he call me? Yeah? You called me

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Speaker 1: a dirty whore or something like that, and I'm nasty

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Speaker 1: and he had his ex girlfriend calling me names and stuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I'm this last when there's something that I really

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Speaker 1: appred ship like that has never been, never been a

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Speaker 1: point for him to take. So yeah, of course, you know,

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Speaker 1: when people get me, they like to show anything up.

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Speaker 1: And if you could say I got HIV, then yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I dealt with that already, so they don't hurt

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Speaker 1: Tell me something I don't know, Okay. And one thing also,

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Speaker 1: when I was listening to our last conversation was, Um,

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Speaker 1: you were recently married. Do you want to get married again?

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Speaker 1: We're not because it's been a while. No, we were engaged,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't married. Tell him I've been married before. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and that was in my early twenties. Um, And so

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Speaker 1: they didn't last very long. And I'm actually sitting here

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Speaker 1: contemplate in marriage again. I don't know, Like I just

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Speaker 1: don't know. I'm too free right now, and now he

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Speaker 1: had too much to accomplish to like be trying to

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Speaker 1: start over, at least in this moment, So I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Maybe one day, but not the day. The reason why

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Speaker 1: I'm asking you this because you know, I'm gonna share

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Speaker 1: a question from one of the listeners and it kind

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Speaker 1: of like broke my heart because you know, I think

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Speaker 1: that sometimes we get so caught up in our mistakes

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Speaker 1: and it's like when I look at you, I really

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Speaker 1: do see you being happy and you live in a

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Speaker 1: full life like HIV is just only a small part

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Speaker 1: of you. You know what I'm saying. So I have

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Speaker 1: read her question at all, but it was really heartbreaking.

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Speaker 1: I definitely gave her your information she can reach out

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Speaker 1: to you or just where she could just look on

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Speaker 1: your Instagram page and see the light that you exude.

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Speaker 1: M h um, because life is not over. Life is

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Speaker 1: definitely not over with the HIV diagnosis. And I'm not

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Speaker 1: really sure if we had spoken about my other diagnosis

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Speaker 1: in the other interview, but we did not. I was

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Speaker 1: gonna bring up but go ahead, Oh you might as

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Speaker 1: well because to go with them. So not really, but

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Speaker 1: I have HIV and hs V, which is herpies, So

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Speaker 1: I have general herpies and I contracted day after HIV

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Speaker 1: day so from person no, from a different person, but

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Speaker 1: with this person I had, I told them about my

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Speaker 1: you know, my status, and they just didn't share with me.

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Speaker 1: There's so that's how I ended up getting, you know,

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Speaker 1: both of them. Oh, he denies it to this day,

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Speaker 1: denies it. But I know for a fact because I

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Speaker 1: never was having on type of issues before him. I've

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Speaker 1: been tested in everything. All I had was HIV and

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Speaker 1: we we used condoms and up until we took that

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Speaker 1: condom off our street. And then as soon as the

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Speaker 1: condom came off, I had my first outbreak. Um. But

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Speaker 1: dating with s T I STVS periods, it is hard.

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Speaker 1: But dating by itself, it's hard. So you just I think,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. You gotta just keep going for it,

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Speaker 1: keep trying. Like everybody not going to tell you. Yes,

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Speaker 1: you're not going to like everybody, but just it's about

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Speaker 1: I say, if you put out a hundred implications, at

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Speaker 1: least one person is going to come back that you like.

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Speaker 1: And it has to be a mutual like and not

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Speaker 1: just accepting something like bullshit, because you come with something

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Speaker 1: like no, you're worth more than it. H When you

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Speaker 1: found out about your the herpies, did you were you

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Speaker 1: feeling down and stuff? Are you just like it is

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Speaker 1: what it is? Gotta keep it moving. I was hurt

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Speaker 1: because there was another breach of trust. Um, but it

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Speaker 1: was already like all right, come on right, come one,

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Speaker 1: gotta keep it moving. And this was still this has

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Speaker 1: been a why old so I've had time to like

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Speaker 1: deal with it and kind of like to see how

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Speaker 1: I'm going to navigate in this space and speaking with

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Speaker 1: many people. There are a lot of people in this

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Speaker 1: world with her I was reading the c d C.

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Speaker 1: I think they said like five million people in the

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Speaker 1: world with it. Yeah, there's a lot of people with herpees.

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Speaker 1: But that's why the doctors don't even test for her

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Speaker 1: pies because they don't even consider her pies as a

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Speaker 1: as an STV to consider it a skin infection. Oh,

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Speaker 1: they don't hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt. At least there's been

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Speaker 1: my experience and knowing that I contracted it, you know,

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Speaker 1: in a way that I did, and about it because

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Speaker 1: I'm still trying to figure out how this person could

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Speaker 1: still say they ain't got it, You lying, you lying.

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Speaker 1: But they say that men can be like siline carriers,

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Speaker 1: so a lot of times they won't have any symptoms.

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Speaker 1: But you know, you know, and Neon, just navigating that

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Speaker 1: space of living with two SCRs in it can all

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Speaker 1: be managed and it still doesn't make you worth fless.

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Speaker 1: But what made you come up with this? Because you

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Speaker 1: know I already knew about this, because me and you

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Speaker 1: this is not our first time having a conversation, but

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Speaker 1: in the beginning, you wasn't really sharing that part of

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Speaker 1: your story. Did something change or no, it just was

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Speaker 1: a part of, you know, my journey to transparency. So

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Speaker 1: when I first disclosed my HIV status, it was around

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Speaker 1: World AIDS Stay in two thousand and eighteen, and that's

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Speaker 1: when I first came public with it. And as time

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Speaker 1: went on, I felt like I was not being authentic, Like, no, all, y'all,

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Speaker 1: this is the real dest and there is a lot

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Speaker 1: of shame. I know that it exists, because I know

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Speaker 1: I'm not the only person living with HIV who also

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Speaker 1: his herpies. But when in speaking too many evocands is

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Speaker 1: like you you either got picked one of the other

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Speaker 1: because the world is not really ready for this. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: because it's yeah, no no, and oh it's so great

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Speaker 1: that you bring that black woman thing up again. I

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Speaker 1: and how we are so often objectified and like sexualized,

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Speaker 1: and you know said, there we are, this, this and

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Speaker 1: this way, and every fucking stereotype you got about me,

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Speaker 1: like you might as well throw it out the window.

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Speaker 1: I've had to do that with my own selfish throw

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Speaker 1: those labels and things out of my window, just because

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Speaker 1: I turned my waist away did I turn my waisted,

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Speaker 1: I might bend over and I might you know, ask

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Speaker 1: these questions without much of a filter. That doesn't mean that,

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00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,520
Speaker 1: don't mean nothing. It really ain't got nothing to do

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Speaker 1: with you, and you can't make no assumptions offit it

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Speaker 1: at all. I know people it is, you know, very

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Speaker 1: comfortable in their sexuality and their feminine limity, and you know,

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Speaker 1: just choose to express that, but are still virgin, so

305
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Speaker 1: you can judge none of the like though all of it.

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00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:23,160
Speaker 1: I'm all for people like giving them the middle finger

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00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,120
Speaker 1: because you keep that over there, whatever you got over there,

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Speaker 1: keep it there because I'm gonna be me and this

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Speaker 1: is what it is. Anything else would be an assumption.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like more people are accepting of the

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Speaker 1: virus since it's becoming so common? Hv oh no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: uh no. I think that we are hearing about it

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Speaker 1: a little bit more, and we have, you know, things

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Speaker 1: out there like prep and PEP and commercials and stuff

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00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,560
Speaker 1: like that. But I think hear some mixed reviews about

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00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:05,320
Speaker 1: PEP prep. What you what you've been hearing about? So

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Speaker 1: I thought to my home girl, and she is a nurse,

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Speaker 1: and she's also transgender and she was telling me how

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Speaker 1: a lot a medical professionals has been pushing the PREP hill,

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00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 1: but it's like number one reasons for your kiding to fall,

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Speaker 1: and they're not telling people that. No, no, So this

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Speaker 1: puts me in a very no that's correct, No, that's

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Speaker 1: real correct. And I've always been wanting to speak about

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Speaker 1: because it's HIV drugs. I believe what they're using for prep.

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Speaker 1: Don't hold me said this, but I believe it's true.

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Speaker 1: Vada True. Vada is one of the pills I first

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Speaker 1: took in one of my first regiments of medicine to

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Speaker 1: treat my HIV. And they know that HIV meds have

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Speaker 1: affects long term and you know, one of these major

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Speaker 1: organs and stuff. They know that, So now for it

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Speaker 1: to be put in PREP, yes, I mean I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: expect for the side effects and long term effects to change.

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Speaker 1: And there is a reason why I still always want

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00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:19,200
Speaker 1: people to know that the option is developable. But I'm

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00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,480
Speaker 1: not really like one of them was, you ain't gonna

336
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:25,159
Speaker 1: see too much on my page about it, because I

337
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,680
Speaker 1: do feel like that, and I just feel like more

338
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,680
Speaker 1: and more research needs to be done because if I'm

339
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:39,639
Speaker 1: undetectable to my situation, but um, the research must be,

340
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:44,359
Speaker 1: but not not the pill itself. But I think that

341
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:48,280
Speaker 1: they were realizing that it could be taken to prevent

342
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 1: the virus from growing in your body. So you know,

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00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 1: prep is I kind of like to think of it

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00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 1: as like birth control for every So you could take

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00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:01,280
Speaker 1: that pill every day and if you were ever exposed

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00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 1: to HIV, it wouldn't give like HIV would have no chance,

347
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,240
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be able to take to yourselves or not.

348
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,119
Speaker 1: And then you have something called PEP. PEP would be

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00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 1: uppell that you. I kind of like to think of

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00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 1: it as the morning after pill. So say you were

351
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:20,359
Speaker 1: exposed and then you go get this treatment for PEP,

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00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,920
Speaker 1: so that wouldn't be like you was taken every day.

353
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,400
Speaker 1: They would just give you the dosage then, so they

354
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 1: once again to get to take HIV before it has

355
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:36,520
Speaker 1: a chance to um. But yeah, they do have um

356
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:41,240
Speaker 1: long term effects. And I think was really important to

357
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:44,160
Speaker 1: note is that a lot of the people that were

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Speaker 1: diagnosed with the virus, you know, like early on, many

359
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 1: of them are still here. Thank god. They are like

360
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:56,439
Speaker 1: now over fiftyes. So now we're getting new research that

361
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 1: we didn't ever always have our hands on So now

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00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:04,280
Speaker 1: we're seeing what these medicines are doing to people who

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00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:07,119
Speaker 1: are in the older population. We don't yet have the

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00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 1: data they see, you know what these pills are going

365
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 1: to do over the complete life because you know we Yeah,

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00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,719
Speaker 1: So I feel like, on whit hand, we're treating it.

367
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:22,400
Speaker 1: I'm undetectable. So we had that message undetectable equals untransmittable.

368
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 1: So if I take my medicine and I become viraally supprissed,

369
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,199
Speaker 1: I forget the time frame that they give for. But

370
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 1: if as long as that is the case, I wouldn't

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00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 1: be able to transmit HIV to anybody sexually. Right. So, now,

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Speaker 1: if I'm undetectable and I'm with a person who is

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Speaker 1: BE negative, I don't understand why they would have to

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Speaker 1: take PREP Like I kind of get it, but I

375
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,639
Speaker 1: kind of don't because it's like I'm already doing what

376
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,879
Speaker 1: I need to do so that they don't so that

377
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:04,119
Speaker 1: I can't pay them to take the pill. I guess

378
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 1: maybe it's like another backup or something, and every person

379
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 1: should know that it's available to them. But I'm just

380
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:14,160
Speaker 1: not going to be the one to push this so

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00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:16,160
Speaker 1: this is the last time we're talking even til now.

382
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:19,440
Speaker 1: Obviously everybody can tell that you're really big on educating

383
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 1: our community and anybody else on HIV. So what's have

384
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:25,720
Speaker 1: what you been up to? What's some of the things

385
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:32,640
Speaker 1: you've been evolving lately. Oh wow, it's so great. So

386
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:38,560
Speaker 1: I I guess we've done a Hello beautiful insert. We've

387
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:45,880
Speaker 1: done UM something with Cosmopolitan. I my organization is now

388
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:55,719
Speaker 1: I'm offering coaching sessions. I do UM, I do social media,

389
00:25:55,840 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 1: so I'm a social media consultantly on I just sat

390
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:05,119
Speaker 1: on the board for HERSA and they're the ones that

391
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 1: deal with like Ryan White Funds. I just came from

392
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:12,120
Speaker 1: a virtual conference which would have been in Puerto Rico,

393
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 1: the US conference when eight. I'm so much, so much

394
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,639
Speaker 1: every conference I could get my hands on. I'm trying

395
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 1: to be there just so that I can, you know,

396
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,960
Speaker 1: be abreast on what the newest information is, so that

397
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:32,120
Speaker 1: I can come back to the community and share. Now,

398
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:36,240
Speaker 1: the question from the listener um she was diagnosed with HIV,

399
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 1: I want to say two around two thousand and seven,

400
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,440
Speaker 1: two thousand and eight. So her question is how did

401
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 1: you move beyond the bitterness and resentment towards a person

402
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 1: who gave it to you. Wow, that's easy. Um, I

403
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 1: put most of the blame on myself because I can't

404
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: really tell you who getting me like, I have a

405
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 1: good idea, but I can't really say for sure. And

406
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 1: that's a heavy bird. Was somebody I went to who

407
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 1: I thought it was, um and okay, who I thought

408
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:19,639
Speaker 1: it was the first time he put me on hold

409
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 1: and he never came back to another right. So then

410
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:28,120
Speaker 1: the dude that I'm really almost certain because the next

411
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 1: time I saw him, he looked like he was not

412
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:37,160
Speaker 1: taking care of himself like at all, and I never

413
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:41,879
Speaker 1: said anything to him. I was really more disappointed in

414
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:45,880
Speaker 1: my own self. M And I'll do that sometimes take

415
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 1: more responsibility than what I'm entitled, but this I felt like,

416
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:52,919
Speaker 1: if I was doing what I needed to do to

417
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:56,639
Speaker 1: protect myself, there was no chance that this could hear

418
00:27:56,760 --> 00:28:00,439
Speaker 1: hip me. So how I've learned to for I and

419
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 1: move past myself is that, you know, we make mistakes.

420
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:08,479
Speaker 1: Sometimes sometimes they come with long term, um, you know, guilt.

421
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,640
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's something that you could just forget about real quick,

422
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 1: but this one is something that you know, I have

423
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 1: a long forever My whole life to think about, and

424
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 1: you can't beat yourself up forever. I think the greatest

425
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 1: analogy I've ever heard is like, when a child gets

426
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 1: in trouble, you would put them in time out, but

427
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:29,280
Speaker 1: you wouldn't keep their child in time out forever? So

428
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 1: why would you do that to yourself? Like, at some

429
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 1: point you have to you have to forgive, You have

430
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: to learn how to love again and understand that you

431
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:41,480
Speaker 1: need to offer yourself some great because that probably ain't

432
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 1: the first or the last mistake you yea one some

433
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:48,960
Speaker 1: other things you did towards your he goes When I

434
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 1: was listening to you the first episode we did, Hey,

435
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,560
Speaker 1: like you and your mom y'all cried for like three days,

436
00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 1: and like, you know, you just really had a hard

437
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:03,280
Speaker 1: time for obvious reasons. So like, what was the other

438
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,840
Speaker 1: things you did just to give her a couple of

439
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:13,320
Speaker 1: more options? Okay? And that she's speaking specifically to the

440
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:17,920
Speaker 1: personage just period, like just getting over and accepting it.

441
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:22,080
Speaker 1: Oh oh okay. Yeah. I definitely had to build a

442
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 1: support support and I was very very lucky because my

443
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 1: mom was and still is a major part of my support. Um.

444
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 1: Some people don't have that front. The beginning. So what

445
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 1: I said just always is to reach out and look

446
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 1: for the support, like when you have the blessings of

447
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 1: you know, social media and our fingertips for the most point.

448
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 1: And there are so many organizations, small groups, UM, Facebook groups,

449
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 1: advocates that are open online, so many of them available

450
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,920
Speaker 1: that if you just browsed through their page, you'll find

451
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 1: another advocated, another advocate, somebody that you can connect with.

452
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 1: And we're not all the same, so it's not like

453
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 1: a one size fits at all, but I'm sure that

454
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 1: you can find somebody that you can relate to and

455
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 1: kind of just like you know, reach out to them

456
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 1: and who they're following and just get connected a little bit.

457
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 1: I have people sometimes create like fake pages to reach

458
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 1: out to me, and I understand it because we want

459
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:28,200
Speaker 1: to protect the privacy UM. But just reaching out to

460
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 1: talk I personally on my own page. I make phone calls.

461
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 1: Like people reach out to me, I take the time

462
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 1: to call them back. We email, were talking d m s.

463
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 1: Because I never want you to fill alone. Like that

464
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 1: seventeen year old that was in the office the same

465
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 1: day I got diagnosed or went from my first treatment.

466
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 1: She was in there by herself and I felt so

467
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 1: bad and knew that I wanted to I wanted to

468
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:55,880
Speaker 1: be there with her, like to help support her even

469
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 1: though we was in the same situation. So yeah, I

470
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:03,320
Speaker 1: think for me, support has been the greatest thing that

471
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:08,600
Speaker 1: can come from doctors other providers. I go to therapy.

472
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:12,880
Speaker 1: Therapy is a necessity in my life. I go once

473
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 1: a week and I've been doing it for almost two years.

474
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:19,160
Speaker 1: One of the most beneficial things that I've ever done.

475
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 1: Oh isn't a wonderful I mean, I had a real

476
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 1: fun thing today, But besides that, I've been real sen out,

477
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 1: like I don't let things get to me as much

478
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:32,960
Speaker 1: as I used to. Therapy has been very instrumental in

479
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 1: my girl for sure. Mm hmmm. And realizing that, you

480
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 1: know you, we packed down so much stuff and maybe

481
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,520
Speaker 1: the emotion that we feeling the day isn't attributed to

482
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 1: anything that hippens today. But we need a place to

483
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 1: be able to unpay that, and therapy for me is there.

484
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 1: I get to go in here every week, that one

485
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 1: where well, of course we're doing it virtual now, but

486
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:06,480
Speaker 1: that one hour is just about me. So if I

487
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 1: don't take no other time for myself out there, we

488
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:12,800
Speaker 1: we got one hour that is doing some major major

489
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 1: work on the inside. I big up therapy all the time.

490
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:21,720
Speaker 1: One thing that we spoke about recently is how p

491
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 1: x G change things for you, being that it was

492
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 1: the first platform you shared your story that made me

493
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 1: so happy. Yes it was, um, you were among the

494
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,479
Speaker 1: one of the first ones I did. And I just

495
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 1: always hold y'all to such hot esteem because like we

496
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 1: don't I think sometimes we don't realize this inverse are

497
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 1: reciplical relationship because like while we're I'm out here hoping

498
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 1: educate you know your audience, You out here inspiring me

499
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:00,680
Speaker 1: to believe that the voice like guy, you think I

500
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 1: had no voice. Oh if somebody would listen to this, okay,

501
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 1: cool and just how they just can create a fire

502
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 1: in somebody and my fire ain't going out yet. So yes,

503
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. Had really shilly day. So I'm

504
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:23,800
Speaker 1: a little emotional, almost like crying, says keep going, keep going,

505
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 1: because you got a good thing going. You got a

506
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:30,000
Speaker 1: good thing. And to anybody that is you know a platform,

507
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 1: I always just say, keep going. Even if we don't

508
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:36,480
Speaker 1: get no lights, no views, no nothing. You reached whoever

509
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 1: you were supposed to reach in there is still purposing there.

510
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 1: What do you think it's in the future for HIV?

511
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 1: Like do you think I have a virus? Not virus?

512
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 1: You canna have a cure song The conspiracy theorist in

513
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:58,720
Speaker 1: me says that they already, um, because I just feel

514
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:02,120
Speaker 1: like there's probably already a care for a lot of

515
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:06,520
Speaker 1: different things here. But I feel like the money making game,

516
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 1: like it makes so much money. My pills are three

517
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 1: thousand dollars of money and it's just for one person,

518
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 1: and it's just for the pills, not they count my

519
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 1: lay at work. I need to get when I go

520
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:21,399
Speaker 1: or the doctor visited itself for anything else, like just

521
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:26,720
Speaker 1: the medication. It's three thousand dollars and you can treat

522
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 1: somebody forever. It will only take one time to care

523
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 1: of them. So if you can't, I mean a business move,

524
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 1: you could get this money, get the bag. And as

525
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:41,280
Speaker 1: we see, our government don't really care about the people

526
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,479
Speaker 1: like this is this is very clear, Like I don't

527
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:47,600
Speaker 1: know if it took one presidency for it to become

528
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:50,839
Speaker 1: more clearer than this what we already know they don't

529
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:55,960
Speaker 1: care so um. But I did just see a trial

530
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:59,399
Speaker 1: or some research come out that said that they were

531
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:04,600
Speaker 1: looking at an injectable UM HIV regiment where it would

532
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:09,920
Speaker 1: be like every two months or something long acting shots

533
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,360
Speaker 1: UM and I can't remember if it was being referred

534
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:17,759
Speaker 1: to for prep or for treatment, but you see they

535
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:21,399
Speaker 1: coming up with, you know, newer advanced stuff every day,

536
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 1: so I can see a cure being released sometime in

537
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 1: the future. And last, not least looking back, okay everything,

538
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 1: if you have accomplished and you will accomplish, did you

539
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:42,239
Speaker 1: think you would make it this far? Oh? Oh no?

540
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 1: And it just amazes me every day that, oh, once

541
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,719
Speaker 1: again at reciprocal relationship, because I now don't hear this

542
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,799
Speaker 1: relationship with people on my platform that I've never met

543
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:57,839
Speaker 1: in my life, and how they just keep pushing me

544
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 1: every day. Like I'm thinking, now I'm falling, like I

545
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:02,560
Speaker 1: just want to fall back. I don't want to do

546
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:05,919
Speaker 1: this no more. And then somebody reaches out and says, oh,

547
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 1: you motivated me so much, or you you did this,

548
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 1: and I'm like, really, y'all still becoming motivated through all

549
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 1: of this? What I feel like mess over here? Um? No,

550
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,279
Speaker 1: I didn't think. I did not think that I would

551
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:22,319
Speaker 1: be able to be working from home in a way

552
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 1: that I'm working from home and doing things that I

553
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:29,319
Speaker 1: actually love to do. No, never what I have thought, Well,

554
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 1: I am super proud of you. I think that just

555
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:34,279
Speaker 1: watching you and I'm like, damn, I cannot believe it's

556
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 1: been like over a year some change and like you

557
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:40,799
Speaker 1: really hit the ground running. So I think what you're

558
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 1: doing is amazing. And I'm pretty sure this will not

559
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,720
Speaker 1: be the last time we talked about doing some things together.

560
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:54,120
Speaker 1: Oh no, oh no, I'm always damn always always, especially

561
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 1: like just reaching the people the I want to make

562
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:02,719
Speaker 1: it like real person because I'm just another person. Like

563
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 1: we all people, and we have our own struggles and

564
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:11,200
Speaker 1: battles and I'm not here to flex for nobody. Like

565
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 1: it just is what it is. I make payment arrangement,

566
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:23,760
Speaker 1: come on, and I got a late fee, moved professional

567
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:31,040
Speaker 1: home girls now, yes, yes, yes, but that's what it

568
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,880
Speaker 1: is because I think that, especially in the age of

569
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 1: social media, Um, we are off the court up in

570
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:42,319
Speaker 1: those pictures, yo, I'm showing you my best angles and

571
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:45,000
Speaker 1: I'm taking this in the best fight with my best

572
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:48,680
Speaker 1: clothes on. I'm not showing you the payment arrangement at

573
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 1: the phone bills that the picture got took on okay,

574
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:55,080
Speaker 1: and I'm not telling you that this is my home

575
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:57,359
Speaker 1: girl card because my car got again in the side

576
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:01,840
Speaker 1: of it. Like we just are, you can't believe everything

577
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:04,760
Speaker 1: that you see. So if I could use my life

578
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:06,799
Speaker 1: in my platform to make things a little more real,

579
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 1: to take a little pressure off of somebody else, Yes,

580
00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:13,320
Speaker 1: we don't listen. If you have any questions coming to concerns,

581
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:15,800
Speaker 1: please make sure to email me at Hello at the

582
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 1: PhD podcast dot com. As always, it is a pleasure

583
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:23,239
Speaker 1: speaking with my guests. I'm gonna ask her about some

584
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 1: things off the air, so do you have anything you

585
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 1: want to say before we leave. I know they I

586
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:32,040
Speaker 1: don't really know you and you don't really know me,

587
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:36,840
Speaker 1: but I I love you, and please believe it. I

588
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:39,239
Speaker 1: love you too, and I really do appreciate you like

589
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,319
Speaker 1: you have been one of my favorite guests and as

590
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,440
Speaker 1: we approached two years, I could not have done it

591
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 1: without you. So I appreciate you and until next time,

592
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 1: everyone Later,