Speaker 1: Hi. This is Malan Vervier and this is Kim Azarelli.
Speaker 1: We are co authors of the book Fast Forward, How
Speaker 1: Women Can Achieve Power and Purpose. And you're listening to
Speaker 1: Seneca Women Conversations on Power and Purpose, brought to you
Speaker 1: by the Seneca Women Podcast Network and I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Welcome to this special edition. During these difficult times, we're
Speaker 1: talking to experts who can help us gain perspective on
Speaker 1: the impact of coronavirus, as well as share tips and
Speaker 1: resources and so much needed inspiration. Today I'm joined by
Speaker 1: Ruth Glenn. Ruth is the president and CEO of the
Speaker 1: National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Ruth, thanks so much for
Speaker 1: joining us. Thank you much so UH. Obviously this is
Speaker 1: a very difficult I'm on so many levels. UH. And
Speaker 1: we're starting to see some of the fault lines in
Speaker 1: our society being exposed. UM, and you obviously have a
Speaker 1: very important role to play in this moment for our listeners.
Speaker 1: How common is domestic violence in the US? UH? And
Speaker 1: and how common was it prior to coronavirus. It's very
Speaker 1: common in fact in our field of work, and UM,
Speaker 1: in our relationships with our allies and those that want
Speaker 1: to end domestic violences address domestic violence. We consider it
Speaker 1: a public health crisis, UM a hidden for the most
Speaker 1: part public health crisis, but a public health crisis. There's
Speaker 1: the estimates of one in three women UM and we
Speaker 1: speak mostly about women, of course, but one in three
Speaker 1: women are experiencing or have experienced domestic violence. If you're
Speaker 1: out there dinner with your friends, you know one of you,
Speaker 1: of the three of you, UM, has experienced domestic violence
Speaker 1: or experiencings. So this is all prior to coronavirus. What
Speaker 1: are you seeing now in the midst of you know,
Speaker 1: one of the greatest health crisis are our country, certainly
Speaker 1: and the world has faced in recent year. Well, we
Speaker 1: UM were active, as were some of our allies and
Speaker 1: partners in UM, ensuring that we provided support and resources
Speaker 1: to survivors and advocates as we dealt with this. What
Speaker 1: we're seeing, and I'm certain that we're going to see more,
Speaker 1: is more incidence of domestic violence being reported. That's going
Speaker 1: to be kind of a long term thing. Will see
Speaker 1: a lot more towards the end of this. The other
Speaker 1: concern that we have is the intensity by which domestic
Speaker 1: violence is happening in the home, and UM we've been
Speaker 1: hearing of incidences where UM an abusive person has been
Speaker 1: using COVID to threaten their victim. We had one incident
Speaker 1: that was actually pretty frightening where UM he was he
Speaker 1: was very convinced that she was trying to harm him
Speaker 1: with COVID and UM began to m verbally and physically
Speaker 1: assault her. UM as a result of that, from our
Speaker 1: perspective that it had really nothing to do with COVID.
Speaker 1: COVID has become another tool by which abusers can abuse.
Speaker 1: But those in sort of in domestic violence situations, it
Speaker 1: seems as though what we're hearing is that that is
Speaker 1: really going up, and and why is that going up?
Speaker 1: What I like to say really comcretely is that now
Speaker 1: abuser have proximity to the victim UM. Whereas the victim
Speaker 1: might have had some ability to have respite or release
Speaker 1: from being exposed to the abuser, now the abuser has
Speaker 1: a lot more access and using COVID as a tactic
Speaker 1: to UH continue their abuse would not be that uncommon.
Speaker 1: Abusers make a choice to abuse, and when they discover
Speaker 1: that they have yet another links at their disposal to abuse,
Speaker 1: they are certainly going to use that. I think COVID
Speaker 1: is not necessarily a trigger. UM. I do UM like
Speaker 1: to say that when an abuser is seeking tools and
Speaker 1: tactics to abuse, they make choices about that, but it
Speaker 1: can certainly be risk factors such as substance to use,
Speaker 1: mental health COVID nineteen. UM. All of those things can
Speaker 1: certainly be a risk factor, but for the most part,
Speaker 1: abusers will will use those as a tactic to exercise
Speaker 1: their power and control. And at the same time, we
Speaker 1: know that any women have less choices now in terms
Speaker 1: of being in proximity in this lockdown moment when we're
Speaker 1: sort of stuck at home. Um, what what can women
Speaker 1: do in that moment? So I got to remind everyone,
Speaker 1: UM that it is certainly not only physical. So I
Speaker 1: can't even imagine the verbal an emotional assault that may
Speaker 1: be occurring in a home in which an abuser UM
Speaker 1: is present in abusing their partners. And what I would
Speaker 1: say to survivors, Um, you've gotten this far by your
Speaker 1: creative thinking. You're planning whatever it might have been that
Speaker 1: kept you safe. Don't forget what you've done to this
Speaker 1: point to make that happen, and just keep employing that,
Speaker 1: keep thinking about that, and then Secondly, if and when, um,
Speaker 1: the survivor victim is ready to make any kind of change,
Speaker 1: whether it's reaching out to get support services or whether
Speaker 1: it's reaching out to go to to a domestic violence shelterre,
Speaker 1: please don't hesitate to do that. Our programs on the
Speaker 1: ground and direct service aducies are doing all that they
Speaker 1: can to make sure that their services have not been
Speaker 1: disruptive and it's been challenging, but they are there for
Speaker 1: you if the divider victim needs to call out. As
Speaker 1: you said, it's one in three women will be making
Speaker 1: such domestic violence in our lifetime. What can someone do
Speaker 1: to help a neighbor, a friend who you feel might
Speaker 1: be at risk? And what what signs or signals should
Speaker 1: should we be looking for? If any sure? I think
Speaker 1: that's a great question. I think, Um, if you have
Speaker 1: someone in your family or a friend and your alarm
Speaker 1: goes off, you know, I always say it's pretty with women,
Speaker 1: we sometimes have the best intuition and then we sometimes
Speaker 1: do the best that we can do. Ignoring if your
Speaker 1: line bell is going going off because that person isn't
Speaker 1: as available as they used to be. They're not picking
Speaker 1: up the phone. Uh, they're showing up very distraught quite frequently. UM,
Speaker 1: they seem evasive, their personality has changed. That's probably the
Speaker 1: most common is that you know this person needs to
Speaker 1: be this and now they're that. It's okay to say
Speaker 1: to someone I think something is happening to you. I
Speaker 1: want you to know that if you need anything, I
Speaker 1: will be here for you. Know, we have a tendency
Speaker 1: as a society to say, oh my god, what's happening
Speaker 1: to you? We want you to leave, You've got to
Speaker 1: get out. UM probably be worth ad by. We could
Speaker 1: give someone if we think that they're exparentsing that UM.
Speaker 1: We should allow them to make that choice, simply because
Speaker 1: there's the best of assessing safety. But we should be
Speaker 1: available to provide them a phone number or location or
Speaker 1: refuge or whatever it might be, so that when they
Speaker 1: are ready to go, we're the person that they know
Speaker 1: they can go to. And is there a is there
Speaker 1: a resource that you can direct people to who are listening, um,
Speaker 1: and that we can direct people to at Seneca Women
Speaker 1: that you feel, um, isn't it is important in this moment.
Speaker 1: We have a list on our website for family and
Speaker 1: friends who may feel as so, UM, they know someone
Speaker 1: who might be experiencing domestic violence. If you're referring to
Speaker 1: victims and survivors, I would certainly encourage them to call
Speaker 1: the National Domestic Violence Hotline. And that's that one eight
Speaker 1: hundred seven nine nine seven two three three one eight
Speaker 1: hundred seven nine nine spaces. And then of course our
Speaker 1: website is UH that C A B B got Org.
Speaker 1: We'll be back after this break. We've heard actually from
Speaker 1: the u N this week that violence against women is
Speaker 1: sort of approaching epidemic levels UM in the coronavirus. Is
Speaker 1: there is there something that listeners can do to support
Speaker 1: the work you're doing and other organizations are doing so.
Speaker 1: Cash donations, of course, are always accepted by our organization,
Speaker 1: for instance, that also does not get any grants to
Speaker 1: do the work that we do. So we're always very
Speaker 1: very happy to be supported by individual donors, and so
Speaker 1: are local community UM entities. So during this time in particular,
Speaker 1: we would definitely encourage cash donation. I would also not
Speaker 1: hesitate to call those entities that you know about, says
Speaker 1: there's something that you would like for me to do.
Speaker 1: Can I volunteer at home? Can I take some of
Speaker 1: the burden off UM? I know we're searching for volunteers
Speaker 1: and all the times, so both financial donations and also
Speaker 1: donations of time. I mean people do people at least
Speaker 1: have more time on their hands and UM and would
Speaker 1: like to have an impact. And obviously we're all focused
Speaker 1: on what the medical workers are doing and are so
Speaker 1: appreciative of all the frontline works, UM, but there are
Speaker 1: ways that we who are not frontline workers can contribute,
Speaker 1: and I think this is a really important way. So
Speaker 1: obviously a very difficult time, a very difficult subject and
Speaker 1: difficult reality. Is there something that makes you optimistic in
Speaker 1: this moment? Yes, um, you know UM as a survivor myself,
Speaker 1: kim Um, I came to this work being optimistic that
Speaker 1: not only could I, but we could we as a nation,
Speaker 1: could make a change when the World Health Organizations says
Speaker 1: that the USA is the United States of America is
Speaker 1: the worst at protecting women. Know, we have a problem
Speaker 1: in the station. So I appreciate you saying that, UM,
Speaker 1: But when I came to this work, I just thought
Speaker 1: we can make change. What makes me optimistic is having
Speaker 1: conversations with persons such as yourself about domestic violence and
Speaker 1: how we can do things differently and um, not just
Speaker 1: during COVID, So I do have to say I feel
Speaker 1: a little bit of courage that we're having more and
Speaker 1: more conversations they've been outside of COVID and people ask
Speaker 1: me the question that that you've been asking. What can
Speaker 1: we do to make sure that the drivers are assisted?
Speaker 1: And then what can we do to change the paradigm
Speaker 1: here in the United States and starts to be domestic violence. Well, Ruth,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for everything uh you do and
Speaker 1: continue to do, particularly during this moment, and please call
Speaker 1: on Santeca Woman for anything that you need as you
Speaker 1: move forward. Thank you so much, Kim, and of course
Speaker 1: thank you to send to women and we will certainly
Speaker 1: give you a call. You're listening to Seneca Women Conversations
Speaker 1: on Power and Purpose, brought to you by the Seneca
Speaker 1: Women Podcast Network and I Heart Radio with support from
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Speaker 1: a great day.