WEBVTT - Love Stories: Amy and T.J. 0:00:02.759 --> 0:00:05.760 Hey, there are folks in this episode. Contrary to a 0:00:05.800 --> 0:00:10.960 popular belief, marriage doesn't suck, and we have the couples 0:00:10.960 --> 0:00:13.800 to prove it. Welcome to this special cupling season edition 0:00:13.880 --> 0:00:17.279 of Amy and TJ Rhodes. We started this out and 0:00:17.360 --> 0:00:21.360 it was supposed to be just a fun exercise we 0:00:21.360 --> 0:00:24.160 were excited about and I am so serious right now. 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:25.439 This turned into something else for me. 0:00:25.640 --> 0:00:29.480 It really did. This was about talking to happy, successful 0:00:29.480 --> 0:00:31.080 couples leading up to Valentine's Day. 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:32.879 We didn't know how happy they were leading in. 0:00:33.159 --> 0:00:35.760 Wait, that's true, that's true, But that was the premise 0:00:35.800 --> 0:00:37.879 that we wanted to talk to successful couples, not just 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:41.120 couples who lasted, but couples who were happy to be 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:44.040 together even after all the years. And we just thought 0:00:44.080 --> 0:00:46.639 it might be a nice nod to Valentine's Day and 0:00:46.720 --> 0:00:51.160 to true love. But wow, not only did we connect 0:00:51.760 --> 0:00:56.480 commiserate with these couples, but we were also inspired by them. 0:00:56.680 --> 0:01:01.200 And there was a comfort in finding similarities and shared 0:01:01.280 --> 0:01:05.080 experiences and knowing you're not alone when you face problems 0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:07.120 in a relationship. But it gives you a sense and 0:01:07.160 --> 0:01:10.319 a source of comfort that even when you have the 0:01:10.360 --> 0:01:13.880 bumps in the road, so does everybody else. It doesn't 0:01:13.920 --> 0:01:17.199 mean or spell disaster. I think that was a really 0:01:17.400 --> 0:01:21.920 fun takeaway for me to see that everybody has mess 0:01:22.240 --> 0:01:24.400 and it's just how you handle it. 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:26.920 Well, that's what we know. Everybody has mess, But for 0:01:26.959 --> 0:01:28.959 whatever reason, we look at everybody on Instagram and think 0:01:29.000 --> 0:01:31.080 they don't like we're trying to compare ourselves, oftentimes to 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:34.440 another couple that we don't know a damn thing about 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:37.319 because it looks good on the surface. This was cool 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:38.920 to see and a lot of these folks do look 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:40.800 good on the surface. But when you start asking, and 0:01:40.800 --> 0:01:42.400 we asked them all the same was the question that 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:46.480 you start delving into. Yes, they ran into some hell 0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:49.000 and they've been through some things. And to your point, 0:01:49.200 --> 0:01:51.240 we talk about this all the time with I guess 0:01:51.240 --> 0:01:53.600 people in the public eye who go through something, oftentimes 0:01:53.640 --> 0:01:58.559 it's if it's illness, they come out and they're open 0:01:58.560 --> 0:01:59.880 about it and they talk about it, and you have 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:03.440 this ground swell of people saying, Wow, that helped me 0:02:03.480 --> 0:02:05.240 because I'm going through it too. I've never really thought 0:02:05.240 --> 0:02:07.520 about that. Relationships, you know, that's what happens. 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:09.600 That is a really good point. It is the same 0:02:09.600 --> 0:02:12.440 thing when people talk about their problems or they talk 0:02:12.480 --> 0:02:15.639 about the not so great moments, everyone else'll say, oh 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:19.600 my goodness, you too, and it just it's comforting and 0:02:19.680 --> 0:02:22.720 it's also inspiring because when you see how they handle 0:02:22.800 --> 0:02:25.640 the problems, and it's not always perfectly, but every time 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:28.400 you don't do it right one time, you'll do it 0:02:28.480 --> 0:02:31.079 better than next, hopefully if you're in it with the 0:02:31.160 --> 0:02:33.880 right person who's also in it. I think the teamwork 0:02:33.919 --> 0:02:35.720 aspect of it was really exception. 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:38.400 The team was a theme. And I have to tell 0:02:38.440 --> 0:02:40.560 we've talked about this privately, but I could say it 0:02:40.600 --> 0:02:45.600 here publicly. Now. I feel so much better about our 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:49.640 relationship after going through and talking to all of these couples, 0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:53.799 not as a matter of we got it better than. 0:02:53.760 --> 0:02:56.200 Anybody, Oh we're we're not comparing. 0:02:55.840 --> 0:02:57.720 Not that kind of a thing, but to hear so 0:02:57.720 --> 0:02:59.639 many of the nuggets, to hear that we've gone through 0:02:59.639 --> 0:03:02.239 the exact same things, and to see them come out 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:04.359 and be happier, and also to see how they have 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:07.040 argued and fight and gotten through things we have done 0:03:07.040 --> 0:03:10.560 things similar, So I wow, Wow, we're actually doing something 0:03:10.639 --> 0:03:12.360 right even when things aren't great. 0:03:13.040 --> 0:03:16.040 That is so true. I felt the exact same way. 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:19.440 And it's cool you made that connection to cancer journeys 0:03:19.480 --> 0:03:22.160 because it's so true when you're going through something hard, 0:03:22.200 --> 0:03:25.840 to see someone else who's gone through something similarly difficult 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:28.480 and come out on the other end with a smile, 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:33.239 that is sometimes all the inspiration you need to keep going. 0:03:33.520 --> 0:03:35.760 So those were kind of at least for me, this 0:03:36.000 --> 0:03:38.520 turned into something I didn't expect, and that's wonderful. To 0:03:38.800 --> 0:03:40.760 the point, I can't wait to do this again. I 0:03:40.800 --> 0:03:43.480 would love to continue talking to couples. So we had 0:03:44.040 --> 0:03:46.200 these were our couples, and some of them we did 0:03:46.280 --> 0:03:50.440 have a little history with and some we had no idea, Oh, 0:03:50.520 --> 0:03:53.280 hadn't spent any time with them. So this was our 0:03:53.320 --> 0:03:55.920 list of couples. Trista and Ryan Sutter twenty one years 0:03:55.920 --> 0:03:58.720 strong after meeting on the Bachelorette. Of course she was 0:03:58.760 --> 0:04:02.560 the og. Tristan Tamer and Eddie Judge married eleven years. 0:04:02.800 --> 0:04:05.040 You know them, of course from Real Housewives. And then 0:04:05.080 --> 0:04:07.320 you had Samantha Greenstone and Jacob Hoff. You might not 0:04:07.400 --> 0:04:11.320 know those names newlyweds. They are a mixed orientation couple. 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:15.920 He's gay, she's straight, and they are in a monogamous marriage. 0:04:15.920 --> 0:04:17.400 That was an interesting one to talk all right. 0:04:17.400 --> 0:04:20.360 Then we had doctor Jeff Gardier and doctor Amber Brody. 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:23.080 We of course knew this couple. We were at their wedding. 0:04:23.120 --> 0:04:25.880 They're newlyweds, but they've been together for more than a decade. 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:28.360 And oh, by the way, they have a twenty seven 0:04:28.440 --> 0:04:32.760 year age difference. He's black, she's white, she's Jewish he's not. 0:04:33.680 --> 0:04:37.480 That was really fun to hear how they handle all 0:04:37.520 --> 0:04:39.800 of those differences beautifully, by the way. Then we had 0:04:39.839 --> 0:04:42.559 Jenna Kramer and Alan Russell. We know Jana very well. 0:04:42.800 --> 0:04:45.440 They were engaged after just six months and there was 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:48.599 literally an ocean between them. And this was Jenna's fourth 0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:53.000 marriage his second. So this is a couple that we 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:55.920 were looking to for some answers. Mike and Lauren Sorrentino. 0:04:56.560 --> 0:04:59.680 Mike the situation seven years married and their first year 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:03.400 of marri marriage was with Mike in prison. That's remarkable. 0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:07.400 Then we have Peta Murgatroyd and Max Schermot. Oh my gosh, 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:09.080 I knew I was gonna get this wrong. 0:05:10.800 --> 0:05:14.039 Max. She always tells me, if you're listening, she always says, no, 0:05:14.200 --> 0:05:15.800 I got it. I can hand this last and it's 0:05:15.839 --> 0:05:16.839 all we have to say it. 0:05:16.920 --> 0:05:19.640 Max Schmerkovsky when we were in Warning America to say 0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:21.520 their names all the time from Dancing with the Stars, 0:05:21.520 --> 0:05:25.680 So Peta Murgatroyd and Max Schermovsky perhaps the funniest of 0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:28.160 our interviews. They've been married for eight years. And then 0:05:28.240 --> 0:05:30.279 Jenny Garth, who also is a friend of ours, and 0:05:30.320 --> 0:05:33.560 her husband Dave Abrams. They've been married for ten years, 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:37.400 but there was a year long separation and divorce papers 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:39.080 in the mix of their marriage. 0:05:39.080 --> 0:05:41.279 Who surprise you most in this career or maybe intrigued 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:44.080 you most because we have a little background, a little 0:05:44.960 --> 0:05:48.480 some kind of a baseline or foundation idea of these couples. 0:05:49.279 --> 0:05:52.080 But what jumped out? Who jumped at it? 0:05:52.160 --> 0:05:55.160 I think Mike the situation in Lauren, because I didn't 0:05:55.240 --> 0:05:58.040 realize everything they had been through, that they've known each 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:01.760 other for twenty one years, that they were dating and 0:06:01.760 --> 0:06:04.479 then broke up for what five years plus while he 0:06:04.640 --> 0:06:07.520 was on Jersey Shore. Then they get back together, and 0:06:07.560 --> 0:06:09.560 then he goes to prison just to hear not just 0:06:09.560 --> 0:06:12.440 what they went through, but where they are today. And 0:06:12.480 --> 0:06:15.920 he had so many incredible nuggets that I was writing down. 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:19.960 I think that's fair surprise, because there's something if I say, 0:06:20.120 --> 0:06:22.960 anybody hear that, we say Mike the situation, you immediately 0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:25.159 jumped to some conclusion about him from what you know 0:06:25.279 --> 0:06:27.279 of that show, from what he was on Jersey Shore, 0:06:27.400 --> 0:06:30.240 And if you didn't know he was married, you might jump, oh, 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:31.440 he must have met her and he was on the 0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:37.200 show something. This is totally different what we got out 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:39.200 of them. That might have been the biggest surprise because 0:06:39.240 --> 0:06:41.200 I went in with expectations that I shouldn't have had. 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:43.159 Yep, yeah, I was gonna ask you. Did anyone else 0:06:43.200 --> 0:06:45.080 surprise you besides Mike and Lauren. 0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:50.240 I think the mixed orientation couple, Samantha and Jacob. Again, 0:06:50.480 --> 0:06:52.320 you folks will get into more of it, and we 0:06:52.440 --> 0:06:54.200 encourage you to go listen to that interview we had 0:06:54.279 --> 0:06:56.719 with them, but I think you hear it and Okay, 0:06:56.760 --> 0:06:59.760 he's gay, she's straight, and they're in a monogamous relationship, 0:06:59.800 --> 0:07:02.159 so immediately you go, what the hell. But the thing 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:06.520 that shocked or surprised me most they're just like us. 0:07:07.880 --> 0:07:13.200 It doesn't matter who you are, where you're from, even ages. 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:17.880 Every single person, including a couple that seemingly that abnormal. 0:07:18.120 --> 0:07:20.480 If you will only say, abnormal because it's not normal 0:07:20.560 --> 0:07:25.040 out there in society is just as normal as you 0:07:25.120 --> 0:07:27.560 and I and the things they deal with, the hopes 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:31.040 they have, the fights they have around the house, they're 0:07:31.080 --> 0:07:33.360 the exact I was really really thrown by that. 0:07:33.360 --> 0:07:37.520 That was so cool to hear and see just how 0:07:37.640 --> 0:07:41.400 everybody faces the same stuff. It was really cool. 0:07:42.280 --> 0:07:44.520 Okay, a lot of it was do you have a 0:07:44.640 --> 0:07:48.120 standout response that you got from anybody along the way 0:07:48.160 --> 0:07:50.080 something that jumped out was like, Holy hell, this dude's 0:07:50.120 --> 0:07:55.400 crazy or this lady's funny, or there were several hilarious 0:07:55.760 --> 0:07:59.840 moments throughout. Was there any response that jumped out at 0:07:59.880 --> 0:08:02.360 you a three year and again all these interviews. 0:08:01.840 --> 0:08:04.680 Well, I look, there are so many things that jumped out. 0:08:04.840 --> 0:08:09.680 I loved hearing in our Kevin McHale and Austin McKenzie 0:08:09.680 --> 0:08:13.040 interview because we have struggled with this. They're not married, 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:16.240 and so they were trying to decide, you know, is 0:08:16.280 --> 0:08:18.720 he my boyfriend? Is he my husband? To see my partner? 0:08:19.080 --> 0:08:22.360 And Austin said, Kevin is my person because it's more 0:08:22.400 --> 0:08:24.720 than all of those things. And he said, it's my 0:08:24.800 --> 0:08:29.240 person who I'm committed to. And so instead of when 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:31.880 they're fighting him, thinking wait, is this not my person? 0:08:31.920 --> 0:08:34.000 He's like, no, I've made a decision to be committed 0:08:34.600 --> 0:08:37.440 that this is my person, and I'm trusting that the 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:41.160 best moments that I know we've had get us through 0:08:41.720 --> 0:08:44.120 the not so best moments because he is my person. 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:47.880 I just I love that commitment that didn't require anything 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:48.520 beyond that. 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:50.800 We're going to see them later. We really really hit 0:08:50.840 --> 0:08:53.719 it off with those guys. They were awesome. We look 0:08:53.760 --> 0:08:55.360 forward to that so again, we hope you listen to 0:08:55.440 --> 0:08:57.840 them as well. But this was a list we had 0:08:57.880 --> 0:09:00.440 with thirty five forty questions. We didn't get to all 0:09:00.480 --> 0:09:03.559 of themm sometimes because some of the answers were a 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:06.880 little more long winded than others. Did you find as 0:09:06.920 --> 0:09:08.439 well that it seemed like most of the guys were 0:09:08.440 --> 0:09:10.600 doing more talking than the women. 0:09:10.679 --> 0:09:12.880 You know what, It was really fascinating to see that, 0:09:13.080 --> 0:09:16.000 and I actually was laughing. I get this because sometimes 0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:18.320 when we do podcasts, I learned something about you. I 0:09:18.360 --> 0:09:22.400 watched the women listening to the men saying, wow, I 0:09:22.440 --> 0:09:25.040 didn't know you thought that, I didn't know you felt that. 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:27.160 Why do you think that is because a lot. 0:09:26.960 --> 0:09:29.880 Of times we don't say what's on our mind. Maybe 0:09:29.920 --> 0:09:34.200 it's because we're afraid to, we're embarrassed to. We don't 0:09:34.200 --> 0:09:35.760 know what the reaction is going to be, And somehow 0:09:35.800 --> 0:09:39.439 it feels safe, hilariously on a podcast in front of 0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:42.320 thousands and thousands of people, but you feel like you're 0:09:42.320 --> 0:09:44.720 in a safe space with another couple who will understand 0:09:44.720 --> 0:09:46.600 where you're coming from. So I just saw a lot 0:09:46.600 --> 0:09:49.080 of honesty and a lot of openness that maybe wasn't 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:50.800 even shared in private moments. 0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:53.480 I was going to say, most of the women were saying, Wow, 0:09:53.480 --> 0:09:55.160 I didn't know that because this is the first time 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:56.600 the guy really got a chance to talk. 0:09:57.040 --> 0:09:58.800 Oh that's funny. That could be true too. 0:09:58.720 --> 0:10:01.959 Though No, we say that kind of jokingly, not as 0:10:02.000 --> 0:10:04.400 an insult here. But we had several women who are 0:10:05.679 --> 0:10:08.600 the stars, if you will, at least the TV personality, 0:10:08.679 --> 0:10:10.680 the big personality used to talking in front of folks. 0:10:11.000 --> 0:10:13.760 Some of the guys I expected to be quiet. We 0:10:13.800 --> 0:10:16.840 couldn't get him stuff like though Ryan Ryan, Ryan was 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:19.520 he might be my number one and all this. I 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:23.560 enjoyed Ryan. So Trista's's a husband so much because I 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:27.520 again an expectations game. He's the quiet guy he's usually 0:10:27.520 --> 0:10:29.800 in the background. Through all these years, you don't hear 0:10:29.800 --> 0:10:32.360 a lot from him. He sat down, he was the 0:10:32.400 --> 0:10:36.199 most insightful, interesting, funny, but still quiet if you will, 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:38.840 in the way he has a quiet demeanor, right, but 0:10:39.000 --> 0:10:43.160 he was incredible, but just it seemed like, I'm not 0:10:43.200 --> 0:10:45.280 sure he has said anything. He needs to get off 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:48.680 his chest. But you were right about We took a 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:50.800 couple of interviews in before we realized, you know what, 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:53.240 We're getting some great stuff. And it might be because 0:10:53.400 --> 0:10:54.800 they're sitting across from another. 0:10:54.600 --> 0:10:58.600 Couple and they feel safe, and they feel like this couple, 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:01.040 either she or he is going to understand where I'm 0:11:01.040 --> 0:11:04.040 coming from. So it won't just be a me versus her. 0:11:04.280 --> 0:11:07.160 It will be us talking about problems that we all 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:09.680 have and it feels safe. It's funny you mentioned the 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:14.000 men speaking up and being really insightful. It might have 0:11:14.080 --> 0:11:16.600 been from years of listening. And I'm not even kidding. 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:19.839 I was thinking about that. I always know I need 0:11:19.880 --> 0:11:22.000 to listen more, But when you sit there and you 0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:26.120 listen again, they were so I need to listen more, 0:11:26.440 --> 0:11:27.160 That's what I'm saying. 0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:29.120 Wait, how do you determine that you need to listen more. 0:11:29.160 --> 0:11:33.400 What all I'm saying is watching the men speak up 0:11:33.600 --> 0:11:36.520 okay and really have these incredible golden nuggets. Not that 0:11:36.559 --> 0:11:39.199 the women didn't, but they really did have some cool 0:11:39.240 --> 0:11:41.760 things to say. I had that thought in my head, 0:11:42.160 --> 0:11:45.600 probably from all the years of listening. You gain a 0:11:45.600 --> 0:11:49.720 lot of insight when you aren't talking. I'm giving myself 0:11:49.760 --> 0:11:50.319 this advice. 0:11:50.720 --> 0:11:53.080 Okay, so, but you're saying the only thing coming out 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:55.400 of the men's mouths. They didn't come up with those 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:56.960 thoughts on their own. They had just been listening for 0:11:57.360 --> 0:11:58.880 a long time and then they collected it. 0:11:59.160 --> 0:12:01.760 No, I think they know. I think they've listened to 0:12:01.800 --> 0:12:04.600 what's happened. They've observed what's going on, and they've made 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:08.160 that insightful determination in their mind and they just haven't 0:12:08.280 --> 0:12:11.320 articulated it yet until this moment, because oh wow, because 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:13.600 they didn't have the opportunity. 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:15.200 To And you think that you could this is an 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:19.199 area you could improve. Oh of course, really, Oh I 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:20.360 think you're a great listener. 0:12:21.280 --> 0:12:25.440 I do really, huh, I don't believe you. 0:12:25.880 --> 0:12:27.440 I'm glad we didn't have to get asked some of 0:12:27.440 --> 0:12:29.199 these questions. Most of them we would have been okay, 0:12:29.240 --> 0:12:31.520 but we started with this was a nice icebreaker that 0:12:31.600 --> 0:12:33.600 was on our list. We asked everybody give us three 0:12:33.600 --> 0:12:36.760 words to describe your relationship. I think most people I 0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:40.079 think honesty and theme. You know, Contentment was a theme 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:41.839 as well. It doesn't sound romantic, but. 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:44.400 Fun was a big theme. A lot of people said 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:48.360 fun that is how they would describe their relationship. Yes, 0:12:48.559 --> 0:12:52.199 and content. It doesn't sound sexy necessarily, but when you 0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:55.280 go through enough of life, that sounds awesome. 0:12:55.760 --> 0:12:58.000 Who said I love you first? Was a fun question, 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:01.559 and I think overwhelmingly it was the It was yes, 0:13:01.640 --> 0:13:03.360 end up saying who said I love you? Okay, of 0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:07.280 course I did. This question was interesting. I got great 0:13:07.320 --> 0:13:09.440 insights on this one. Why did you want to be 0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:11.480 married again? A lot of people will look at that, Hey, 0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:12.880 it's just a piece of paper. Who kids is not 0:13:12.880 --> 0:13:15.040 going to change anything, or people think, oh, it's going 0:13:15.080 --> 0:13:17.320 to change us too much. There were some great answers 0:13:17.320 --> 0:13:17.839 to that question. 0:13:17.960 --> 0:13:21.040 Yes, I think people not only Some of them said 0:13:21.080 --> 0:13:25.240 that it was they were traditional people and they value 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:27.600 the tradition of marriage. Other people said they liked the 0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:31.480 idea of commitment in front of friends and family, that 0:13:31.480 --> 0:13:36.040 that had power and just the whole idea of publicly 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:39.200 stating this is my person was an important part of it. 0:13:39.240 --> 0:13:40.839 And other people said it was because of their kids. 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:44.079 Some of them had kids from previous marriages or had 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:46.280 had children before they got married and just thought that 0:13:46.280 --> 0:13:48.439 that was a lesson or an example they wanted to 0:13:48.480 --> 0:13:49.199 set for their children. 0:13:49.360 --> 0:13:52.160 Okay, And we asked about fighting. How often you fight, 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:54.560 do you what do you fight most about? We asked 0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:57.520 about going to bed angry. That was a big debate 0:13:57.559 --> 0:13:59.880 that a lot of people have out there about relationships. 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:03.320 Asked about the folks sex life, which we got a 0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:07.800 lot of interesting and I guess more thoughtful answers and 0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:10.120 grown up answers. I think is a way to They 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:12.839 were adulting in these answers like, yeah, we love that 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:14.880 have a better sex life. But there's a teenager on 0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:16.720 this SI all teenager on that side of the. 0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:19.600 Way, right it was they just said, yeah, I believe 0:14:19.760 --> 0:14:21.480 was it Ryan? When we said how is your sex 0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:24.120 life change? She said, well, it's scheduled now or what's 0:14:24.440 --> 0:14:27.960 what's the opposite of less spontaneous? But that is real 0:14:28.080 --> 0:14:30.760 And I think people who are in long term marriages, 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:33.320 who have kids, it's nice to hear that even sexy, 0:14:33.400 --> 0:14:36.280 hot couples who you see on TV, who imagine are 0:14:36.320 --> 0:14:40.160 having sex marathons every day, are saying, yeah, we're like 0:14:40.360 --> 0:14:42.920 not in that phase anymore. And it's okay. And I 0:14:42.960 --> 0:14:45.680 will say all of them said that the sex was better, 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:50.160 that it was more meaningful, that it was not necessarily 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:52.640 the quality over quantity is what I believe. 0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:56.080 One person said, yeah, you gotta make account, all right. 0:14:56.240 --> 0:14:59.560 So this was an absolute blast for us. So we're 0:14:59.560 --> 0:15:02.240 gonna get into the nitty gritty here in a second. Now, 0:15:02.640 --> 0:15:06.640 we're gonna tell you about the themes that emerged from 0:15:06.720 --> 0:15:11.280 these couples, and they were obvious. It was consistent that 0:15:11.400 --> 0:15:14.520 no matter who the couple was, there were certain things 0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:17.160 that jumped out and you need to hear that make 0:15:17.240 --> 0:15:20.920 these successful couples successful. Also, we'll get into some of 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:23.320 the surprises we got from a lot of the couples, 0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:25.760 and we'll tell you what advice we heard from them 0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:37.800 that we are going to be using ourselves. Welcome back 0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:41.280 everybody to this special cuffing season episode of Amy and TJ. 0:15:41.360 --> 0:15:45.960 We are recapping the Valentine's Day love stories that we 0:15:46.000 --> 0:15:47.880 did with a number of couples. You can check out 0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:50.560 all of those interviews. They're gonna be up in the 0:15:50.600 --> 0:15:54.360 feed all in order here for you to see right now. 0:15:54.360 --> 0:15:57.400 But we've been releasing one a day of the entire 0:15:57.400 --> 0:15:59.520 month of February leading up to Valentine's Day, so we're 0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:01.800 kind of given recap of all those now. But Rhodes 0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:06.160 I said, some themes did emerge. It doesn't matter young, old, 0:16:07.920 --> 0:16:11.280 where they are, first marriage, second mayor there are certain 0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:13.600 themes that did emerge. 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:16.640 That's true. A lot of the couples that we talked 0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:20.080 to that are successful and have lots of years under 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:22.800 their belts have said that they were in other relationships 0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:26.000 when they first met. So this is a big thing, yes, 0:16:26.200 --> 0:16:29.520 and so they had to pause, take some time get 0:16:29.560 --> 0:16:32.440 out of those relationships before they actually entered theirs. But 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:36.400 that was a significant number of the couples. Tamra and Eddie, 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:40.760 I recall, were in that situation, what. 0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:44.040 Max and Peter were in that situation as well. 0:16:45.360 --> 0:16:48.000 Well, Trista was in a relationship with how many men 0:16:48.160 --> 0:16:49.760 at the time she met Ryan. I mean, that's kind 0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:51.520 of funny. Well, she didn't say I love you to 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:53.400 him while he was saying it to her because of that, 0:16:53.520 --> 0:16:54.800 which is kind of funny. 0:16:54.880 --> 0:16:57.640 Well, I thought this was something that everybody needs to that. Again, 0:16:57.720 --> 0:17:00.840 these are themes what makes us full successful. I think 0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:04.000 so often I talk to people, and oftentimes it is 0:17:04.480 --> 0:17:07.359 women who say I can't meet anybody while dating is 0:17:07.400 --> 0:17:09.600 so difficult. Where do I go to meet people? Or 0:17:09.920 --> 0:17:12.560 and talking about online you don't have to meet them. 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:15.639 Possibly he's there in your life right now and you 0:17:15.960 --> 0:17:20.160 just haven't realized or recognized that. Think that is real, folks, 0:17:20.240 --> 0:17:23.119 and y'all need to pay attention to that because it 0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:25.520 showed up in these relationships. And a lot of these 0:17:25.560 --> 0:17:28.320 folks when they first meet, they don't meet. They meet innocently. Yeah, 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:29.920 they some of them met at work. They meet in 0:17:29.960 --> 0:17:31.800 a way that's okay, Hi, how you doing it? Move 0:17:31.880 --> 0:17:33.560 on and not even thinking about that person. 0:17:33.720 --> 0:17:35.440 A lot of people met at work that you just mentioned. 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:38.119 Pete and Max, they certainly did, and there wasn't sparks 0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:41.280 at first. According to Peter, Jeff and Amber they met 0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:43.240 at work as well and spent a couple of years 0:17:43.280 --> 0:17:45.560 as just friends or at least eighteen months as just friends. 0:17:45.640 --> 0:17:48.440 And get this, folks, those two he used to help 0:17:48.480 --> 0:17:49.800 her in her dating life. 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:52.800 Yeah, he helped her with Jay dates and then she 0:17:52.960 --> 0:17:55.480 actually made the first move and said, Hey, I'd actually 0:17:55.600 --> 0:17:58.719 like to date you. So it goes to show someone 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:00.919 has to make that first move. But you can get 0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:01.800 out of the friend zone. 0:18:04.040 --> 0:18:06.320 Yeah, and sometimes you don't even know it or realize 0:18:06.359 --> 0:18:08.760 and you're not even trying to and it happens. That 0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:12.160 absolutely jumped out at me. Another theme that was here, 0:18:12.200 --> 0:18:14.560 and folks, be in a relationship, pay attention to this one. 0:18:14.600 --> 0:18:18.280 And this one makes me nervous. Big breakups happen to 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:19.440 successful relationship. 0:18:19.480 --> 0:18:22.960 Big breakups happen, and it's good to know that if 0:18:23.080 --> 0:18:26.639 the foundation is there, you will come back together. And 0:18:26.720 --> 0:18:30.560 we saw that happen. Jenny and Dave stand out specifically 0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:34.040 to me because they broke up for or they were separated, 0:18:34.080 --> 0:18:35.520 I believe for almost a year and a half. He 0:18:35.560 --> 0:18:38.399 had divorce papers that he had tucked in his truck 0:18:38.880 --> 0:18:40.120 and drove around with them. 0:18:40.320 --> 0:18:42.639 Folks, serious, if this is one you need to listen to. 0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:46.280 This was unbelievable. He literally had divorce papers for her 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:49.679 to sign and for a year plus, right, they were 0:18:49.720 --> 0:18:52.359 in a little you know, the driver's seat in your car, 0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:54.320 the back of the driver's seat has a little compartment 0:18:54.320 --> 0:18:56.160 you can slide on the little pocket. They were there, 0:18:56.320 --> 0:18:58.680 he said, for a year plus writing just riding around 0:18:58.720 --> 0:18:59.080 as well. 0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:01.920 There and now well they've been back together for six 0:19:02.000 --> 0:19:04.400 years and are so happy. So that's that's a cool 0:19:04.480 --> 0:19:06.920 thing to know that it can get that bad and 0:19:07.040 --> 0:19:09.640 if there still is that much love and a foundation there, 0:19:09.960 --> 0:19:12.400 you can come back together. Mike and Lauren same thing. 0:19:12.720 --> 0:19:15.359 They broke up four I believe it was five years 0:19:15.600 --> 0:19:18.680 while the whole time while he's experiencing all of this 0:19:18.840 --> 0:19:22.000 fame and a significant addiction problem as well at the 0:19:22.040 --> 0:19:25.159 same time. But they came back together and now are 0:19:25.280 --> 0:19:28.200 stronger than ever. They were really impressive to me. 0:19:28.440 --> 0:19:30.360 This made me nervous and that a while when az 0:19:30.359 --> 0:19:33.119