1 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 1: Yes, Yes, I am Dramas and this is the Street 2 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:22,800 Speaker 1: Stowic Podcast, bringing to your daily dose of stoic philosophy, 3 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: a remix for the hip hop generation. Now, with that 4 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: in mind, let's get things started with your daily shot 5 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:37,159 Speaker 1: of inspiration. Now today we are going to be focusing 6 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:42,040 Speaker 1: all around the stoke idea of diminishing your ego. And 7 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:45,840 Speaker 1: a quote that came to mind is from Aubrey Graham 8 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,880 Speaker 1: himself Drake and I just thought this was an interesting 9 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 1: way to kind of look at the idea of diminishing 10 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 1: our ego a bit, right, And a quote I pull 11 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 1: from Drake, he says, I was born to make mistakes, 12 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:03,280 Speaker 1: not to fake perfection. I love this quote for a 13 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:06,800 Speaker 1: multitude of reasons, right, I think, particularly living in the 14 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: era that we are in where it's social media and 15 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,279 Speaker 1: everybody is basically posting their highlight reel for the world 16 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:17,760 Speaker 1: to see on Instagram and TikTok, and it's their vacation 17 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:22,120 Speaker 1: pictures and it's filters and it's everything you can imagine 18 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:25,760 Speaker 1: that comes along with people putting off the best version 19 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 1: of themselves on social media, right, and listen. 20 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 2: More power to them. 21 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 1: But I think it deviates away from the idea that 22 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 1: we as human beings are inherently flawed and that's just 23 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 1: a part of the experience of living. And I think 24 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 1: it's often easy to feel like everybody else has this 25 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 1: stuff figured out well, we're still scrambling, or it seems 26 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 1: so much easier for other people based upon what we're 27 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:56,600 Speaker 1: seeing on their social media, right. 28 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:58,840 Speaker 2: And I think because. 29 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 1: Of the social media culture that we live in, this 30 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 1: idea of perfection, people find it harder and harder to 31 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:07,120 Speaker 1: kind of be humble and acknowledge that they have a 32 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,880 Speaker 1: shortcoming or they don't know all the answers and they 33 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:12,120 Speaker 1: want some help trying to figure it out right. And 34 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:15,800 Speaker 1: I think the first, you know, sort of rule of thumb, 35 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:19,320 Speaker 1: if you really are trying to pursue greatness, you're trying 36 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:21,520 Speaker 1: to grow as a human being, you're truly trying to 37 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 1: find happiness, to stop trying to give off this perception 38 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 1: of perfection or that you have it all figured out right. 39 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:31,680 Speaker 1: I think we have to accept and be okay with 40 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:33,959 Speaker 1: and embrace and love the fact that part of being 41 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 1: a human being is making mistakes right and learning to 42 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,680 Speaker 1: be okay with that and understanding that there is so 43 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,679 Speaker 1: much to learn from said mistakes. Right, that at the 44 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:46,240 Speaker 1: end of the day, us being able to acknowledge our 45 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,920 Speaker 1: defeat or our shortcomings, or that we don't have all 46 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 1: the answers, it's only going to make us better and 47 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:55,640 Speaker 1: a far more formidable opponent for the sort of battle 48 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:58,600 Speaker 1: of life itself. And this leads perfectly to one of 49 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,680 Speaker 1: the stoics, a quote from one of the stove Epictetius, 50 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 1: where he says it isn't the things themselves that disturb people, 51 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:07,799 Speaker 1: but the judgments that they form around them. This speaks 52 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: to a lot of what comes up for us when 53 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:14,120 Speaker 1: we do find ourselves making a mistake, when we find 54 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 1: ourselves not having all the answers right, and the judgments 55 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,639 Speaker 1: that we form on ourselves, because this is what Epictetus 56 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,639 Speaker 1: is talking about, the feelings that we attach to our failures, right, 57 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,240 Speaker 1: those end up being worse than the mistake themselves. 58 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 2: Right, we beat ourselves up because. 59 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,800 Speaker 1: Of this mistake that we made, bringing shame to ourselves, 60 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 1: and we only make said mistake even worse. 61 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:33,640 Speaker 2: Right. 62 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 1: It's like when you think back to an old like 63 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,120 Speaker 1: we've all seen, like the memes or the jokes about 64 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 1: like all of a sudden, randomly a thought from high 65 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:44,080 Speaker 1: school will pop. 66 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 2: Into your mind and you'll. 67 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 1: Beat yourself up over this, Right, Like you'll think about 68 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,720 Speaker 1: a time that you tripped and fell in front of 69 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 1: your crush in high school and at randomly pop into 70 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:53,880 Speaker 1: your mind. It's like, even though you're thirty years old, 71 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 1: you're still bringing shame to yourself for something you did 72 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,160 Speaker 1: when you were thirteen. Right, And it's like this this 73 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,440 Speaker 1: thing it's fun in theory, but it also speaks to 74 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 1: the fact that we're all so quick to beat. 75 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,080 Speaker 2: Ourselves up over not being perfect. 76 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 1: And again, it's when you can embrace that imperfection, embrace 77 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,720 Speaker 1: the fact you were a silly teenager, it makes it 78 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 1: a funny moment rather than one that you sit there 79 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:14,000 Speaker 1: beating yourself up about. 80 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:14,240 Speaker 2: Right. 81 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 1: And obviously that's just like a simple silly example, but 82 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,719 Speaker 1: it's something that I think proves true in so many 83 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,040 Speaker 1: of our lives, you know. And I relate to this, 84 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 1: you know, in so many different ways. I think I 85 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,479 Speaker 1: am human where I will beat myself up over every 86 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:32,440 Speaker 1: little thing. You know. I recently did a speaking engagement, 87 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,279 Speaker 1: and when I did the engagement, I felt great about it. 88 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,120 Speaker 1: I did the event, I talked, and the crowd was 89 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 1: very receptive. 90 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:38,280 Speaker 2: They loved it. 91 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 1: And then I recently got the video back for it, 92 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 1: and what it was my first inclination. I watched it 93 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 1: and just picked myself apart for every little thing that 94 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 1: I did wrong on stage, and not in a way 95 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,280 Speaker 1: of like, okay, let's improve that next time. I picked 96 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 1: myself apart in a way of beating myself up, like 97 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 1: you should have known not to walk around so much, 98 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,040 Speaker 1: you should have talked less with your hands, you should 99 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 1: have done this, done that better. And none of that 100 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,600 Speaker 1: is constructive criticism because I'm literally just beating myself up. 101 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:04,000 Speaker 2: Now. 102 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 1: There is a positive way to critique myself, right, oh, 103 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,560 Speaker 1: way to look at it and say, okay, you did great. 104 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 1: You know you felt really good about it. You crushed 105 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 1: it in the moment, you felt really good about it. 106 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,920 Speaker 1: Now where can we improve? Where can we get better? 107 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:17,160 Speaker 2: Right? 108 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,800 Speaker 1: That should have been my first inclination. That should have 109 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,200 Speaker 1: been the first thing I led with, rather than immediately 110 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,800 Speaker 1: making myself feel like crap because it didn't look as 111 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,040 Speaker 1: good as I thought it did in my head. 112 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:27,719 Speaker 2: Right now, we've. 113 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 1: Talked about Drake, We've talked about one of the stokes, Epatitis, 114 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 1: talked about myself. Now, let's talk about how you can 115 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,440 Speaker 1: make it your mantra for today. But first it's take 116 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:49,000 Speaker 1: a quick break and then we'll be right back. So 117 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 1: today we're talking all about the Stoke idea of diminishing 118 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 1: your ego. And we've heard from Drake, we've heard from 119 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 1: one of the Stokes Epatitis. I've given you some insight 120 00:05:55,720 --> 00:06:00,159 Speaker 1: into my own struggle or acceptance of this idea. Now 121 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 1: let's talk about how you can make it your mantra 122 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:05,720 Speaker 1: for today. And first and foremost, I just want to 123 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,880 Speaker 1: sit here as somebody who is no real intention, no 124 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,640 Speaker 1: skin in the game as far as your life goes. 125 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:12,920 Speaker 2: I don't have a personal attachment. 126 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,800 Speaker 1: You know. I haven't had the pleasure of meeting most 127 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,120 Speaker 1: of you who listen to this, right, I just want 128 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,280 Speaker 1: to remind you, want to sit up here and remind 129 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 1: you to let yourself off the hook. Whatever thing that 130 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,920 Speaker 1: you've been shaming yourself for or holding over your head. 131 00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:28,640 Speaker 2: It's okay. You're not always going to get it right. 132 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,200 Speaker 2: It's called being human. 133 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 1: Right again, It's asking yourself, what can we take away 134 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 1: from this moment, this thing that we're seeing, that we're reliving, 135 00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:39,840 Speaker 1: that we are feeling a certain way about what takeaways 136 00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:41,800 Speaker 1: can we have from it, and then just move on. 137 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:47,400 Speaker 1: It's embracing imperfection rather than striving for this unobtainable perfection. Right, 138 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:52,560 Speaker 1: it's incredibly inhuman to think that you're going to live 139 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,719 Speaker 1: this perfect life. Yet we hold ourselves to a standard 140 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,240 Speaker 1: as if we should be living this perfect life. And 141 00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:02,520 Speaker 1: it's a completely backward words way of living. It's incredibly 142 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:05,480 Speaker 1: unhealthy and it doesn't serve us in any way. Right 143 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 1: because when our goal in a situation becomes to be perfect. Right, 144 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 1: when we set our goal our intention when we enter 145 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 1: a situation and that intention is to be perfect, we've 146 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 1: automatically set ourselves up for failure because that perfection is 147 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 1: just not going to exist for any of us. And 148 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 1: when it's all over, when that event, that situation happens 149 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 1: and it wasn't perfect, as it's not ever going to be. 150 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,920 Speaker 1: Instead of shaming yourself and adding these extra emotions to it, again, 151 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 1: looking at it as an inevitable part of life and 152 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 1: an opportunity to learn a lesson, nothing more, nothing less, Right, 153 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 1: there should be no other emotion attached to it aside 154 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,880 Speaker 1: from the fact that this is just a part of 155 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 1: the human experience, and there's probably going to be a 156 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 1: lesson to learn from it for next time. And that's 157 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,720 Speaker 1: how you have to adapt this idea of diminishing your ego, 158 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 1: not letting it fool you into thinking that you have 159 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 1: to be perfect and live this perfect life all the time. Right. Again, 160 00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:01,600 Speaker 1: it's just unobtainable and incredibly unhealthy striving for that. Now, 161 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,040 Speaker 1: with that said, let's recap all we've been talking about today. 162 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:04,320 Speaker 2: Right. 163 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,360 Speaker 1: You have Drake literally talking about the fact that he 164 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,440 Speaker 1: was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection, right, 165 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 1: and him embracing that fully and not striving for perfection 166 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 1: but instead just striving to do the best that he can. 167 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:17,600 Speaker 2: Right. 168 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 1: And epictetis talking about how the things don't actually hurt us, Right, 169 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,760 Speaker 1: it's the judgments that we have from them. Right, So 170 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,080 Speaker 1: our ego, you know, shaming us in the moments that 171 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: we've come up a bit short from expectation. Right, That's 172 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,760 Speaker 1: where the negative connotation from a moment comes from. Right, 173 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 1: That's where the negative emotion comes from. It is self inflicted. 174 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,160 Speaker 1: It's a self inflicted wound at the end of the day. Right, 175 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 1: if we are proud of ourselves for how we did. 176 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:44,559 Speaker 1: Regardless of how close to perfection it was or wasn't, 177 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,839 Speaker 1: there's not going to be a negative connotation attached to it. 178 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:48,520 Speaker 2: Right, we add that. 179 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,760 Speaker 1: Negativity to a moment by shaming ourselves, by beating ourselves up, 180 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 1: by setting unrealistic expectations of perfection. 181 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:57,840 Speaker 2: And then even in my case, you know, I don't. 182 00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:59,800 Speaker 1: Think I was even striving for being perfect in that, 183 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,839 Speaker 1: but I was beating myself up and sort of throwing 184 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:06,960 Speaker 1: the baby away with the bathwater because when I rewatched it, 185 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,840 Speaker 1: it didn't feel as good or look as good as 186 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:12,800 Speaker 1: it did in my mind. And again I had something 187 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 1: to be proud of. I thought I gave a great speech. 188 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 1: I know I gave a great speech. 189 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 2: Was it perfect? Of course not? 190 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,200 Speaker 1: But why am I going to diminish that experience because 191 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:24,800 Speaker 1: it wasn't perfect? Right, I'm setting this unachievable goal of 192 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:29,199 Speaker 1: perfection rather than celebrating myself for doing something that I've 193 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: been wanting to do and then also looking at it, 194 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,080 Speaker 1: studying it so that I can learn and be even 195 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 1: better for the next opportunity that I get. Right, That's 196 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:39,280 Speaker 1: the healthy way to go about this thing called life, 197 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaker 1: And it really rests on you. Being able to diminish 198 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:47,560 Speaker 1: your ego and not allow it to rule, or more importantly, 199 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:51,600 Speaker 1: not allow it to add unnecessary emotion to a situation 200 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 1: that just does not call for it. Now, with that said, 201 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,560 Speaker 1: thank you so much for checking out the Street Stoke Podcast. 202 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,040 Speaker 1: Do your best to apply these concepts that we discussed 203 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:09,520 Speaker 1: into everyday life, and I'll catch you next time. The 204 00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 1: Street Stoke Podcast is a production of Iheart's Mica podcast Network.