Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. You're
Speaker 1: listening to I Choose Me, the podcast where extraordinary people
Speaker 1: remind us what's possible. I had the honor of bringing
Speaker 1: some of those wise voices to the stage for my
Speaker 1: second annual I Choose Me Live Empowerment Summit. I'm so
Speaker 1: excited I get to share these conversations with you.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: My friend Collina Estrino sat down backstage with brain health
Speaker 1: pioneer doctor Daniel Amen, beloved actress and advocate Gabrielle Carteris,
Speaker 1: and the incredibly talented Val Schmerkovsky. I would also like
Speaker 1: to thank our signature sponsors for the event, Capitol Group
Speaker 1: and Nella Speck.
Speaker 3: We are backstage at the I Choose Me Live Women's Summit,
Speaker 3: and joining me right now is doctor Daniel Amen. Thank
Speaker 3: you so much for being here.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3: So this is a really important event for a lot
Speaker 3: of people, and they're so excited to be here talking
Speaker 3: about empowerment, talking about choosing themselves and really navigating properly.
Speaker 3: For you specifically though, today, since we're here to talk
Speaker 3: about choosing ourselves, what are some simple things that we
Speaker 3: can choose to do daily to keep our brain active.
Speaker 4: Well, I mean the first thing is to think about it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like very cool.
Speaker 5: People think about it.
Speaker 4: Nineteen ninety one. I'm a double board certified psychiatrist. I
Speaker 4: was a top neuroscience student in medical school. I didn't
Speaker 4: care about my brain at all because I'd never seen it.
Speaker 4: And when I started our brain imaging work, I scanned
Speaker 4: my mom, who was sixty at the time, stunningly beautiful.
Speaker 4: Then I scanned mine and it wasn't great because I
Speaker 4: played football in high school and I had meningitis when
Speaker 4: I was a young soldier, and I had bad habits,
Speaker 4: like I was only sleeping four hours and night. I
Speaker 4: was chubby and overweight, and I just had never cared
Speaker 4: until I saw it, and then I'm like, oh no,
Speaker 4: this has to be better. So I developed a term
Speaker 4: I like called brain envy. I always say Freud was wrong.
Speaker 4: Penis envy is not the cause of anybody's problem. I've
Speaker 4: not seen it once in forty five years. The only
Speaker 4: organ where size really does matter is your brain. And
Speaker 4: so the first thing people can do is love their brain,
Speaker 4: because if you love your brain, you love your life.
Speaker 4: The brain controls everything you do, how you think, how
Speaker 4: you feel, how you act, how you get along with
Speaker 4: other people. It's the organ that manages your money, that
Speaker 4: manages your marriage, that manages your children, that manages happiness.
Speaker 4: And if it's not healthy, you're not healthy. And so
Speaker 4: the one thing I'm working on a National Brain Health
Speaker 4: Revolution initiative. I'm very excited about this. It's based on
Speaker 4: one question, is what you're doing now me talking to
Speaker 4: you good for your brain or bad for it? And
Speaker 4: does it make the world a better place? And if
Speaker 4: you can answer that one question with good information, and
Speaker 4: quite frankly, most seven year olds know things that are
Speaker 4: good for your brain are bad for it, you just
Speaker 4: transform your life in such a powerful, wonderful way.
Speaker 3: I can't wait for that. That seems like that's going
Speaker 3: to be a great When is that happening? You're working
Speaker 3: at a rush end of this year? Thought, oh my god,
Speaker 3: Oh you can do a tour or is it going
Speaker 3: to be one?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 3: I cannot wait. Keep me updated on that. If someone says,
Speaker 3: doctor amen, I have a very busy life. I try
Speaker 3: to sleep at night, my mind is racing. It takes
Speaker 3: me forever to fall asleep. What would you suggest for them?
Speaker 3: To try to help them navigate around that.
Speaker 4: Don't take your phone to bed. It's really important because
Speaker 4: what the blue light from your phone does is it
Speaker 4: turns off the production of melatonin, and then you're just
Speaker 4: wide away and then become disciplined. Like I do the
Speaker 4: same thing every night. When I go to bed, I
Speaker 4: say a prayer and then I go what went well today?
Speaker 4: And the bad stuff shows up, but I sweep it away,
Speaker 4: like have this big black room sweeps it away, and
Speaker 4: I go hour by hour throughout my day on what
Speaker 4: I loved about the day, even the little tiniest things,
Speaker 4: holding my wife's hand, having eye contact, texting, or something
Speaker 4: funny throughout the day. So many awesome things happen to us,
Speaker 4: but our minds don't focus on them, and then we
Speaker 4: get upset. And most of my patients, if they do
Speaker 4: this just for three weeks, they have an increased level
Speaker 4: of happiness. And I suggest you do it for the
Speaker 4: rest of your life. When my dad died during the pandemic,
Speaker 4: the worst day of my adult life, when I went
Speaker 4: to bed that night, I went what went well to
Speaker 4: and then the supervising voice, you know, sort of the
Speaker 4: critic goes seriously we're going to do this tonight. But
Speaker 4: because it was my habit, I did it. And I
Speaker 4: remembered something funny my mom said to the police officer
Speaker 4: and all the people who texted me because they loved
Speaker 4: me and my dad and just holding his hand which
Speaker 4: was so soft before the mortuary took him away.
Speaker 5: And then I went to sleep.
Speaker 4: And it didn't mean I didn't love him, didn't mean
Speaker 4: I wasn't grieving, but it meant I was managing my
Speaker 4: mind rather than let my mind manage me.
Speaker 3: So when you suggest to kind of write things down,
Speaker 3: look back, focus on the positive, can you walk us
Speaker 3: through what that does to your brain and how that
Speaker 3: in a three weeks time makes such a big difference
Speaker 3: in your day to day life.
Speaker 4: So it actually turns off the an area of the
Speaker 4: brain called the default mode network. So if you just
Speaker 4: let your mind want you just like lay in bed
Speaker 4: and try to go to sleep, the critic part of
Speaker 4: your brain, it's called the default mode network, just starts
Speaker 4: picking on you, noticing what's wrong. It's part of the
Speaker 4: brain involved in error detection. What do you don't like
Speaker 4: about your husband, what do you don't like about yourself?
Speaker 4: What do you don't like about work, what do you
Speaker 4: don't like and by focusing on what you love, it
Speaker 4: actually turns it off a little bit like psilocybin, but
Speaker 4: without any of the side effects. And developing this practice,
Speaker 4: and the first time people go I can't do it,
Speaker 4: it's like sort of like the first time you shot
Speaker 4: a free throw, you were terrible at it. You just
Speaker 4: have to keep doing it, and the more you do it,
Speaker 4: the easier it becomes. And when you do it at night,
Speaker 4: it sets your dreams up to be more positive and
Speaker 4: you're more likely to have better sleep, which means tomorrow
Speaker 4: is going to be better. If you want a better
Speaker 4: memory tomorrow, do this exercise and sleep well tonight.
Speaker 3: I do feel like Los Angeles in general has this
Speaker 3: very hustle culture. Right You're working constantly, You're working sixteen
Speaker 3: hour days, NonStop, possibly even longer. What do you want
Speaker 3: to say to them, because my assumption is, and maybe
Speaker 3: it's a bad assumption, there's not a lot of sleep
Speaker 3: going on in the entertainment industry. With people's schedules and
Speaker 3: lifestyles and things that they have to do, things that
Speaker 3: they're obligated to do. What do you want them to
Speaker 3: know about brain health? About making sure they take care
Speaker 3: of themselves.
Speaker 5: Yeah, if you.
Speaker 4: Don't sleep, So when you sleep, your brain cleans and
Speaker 4: washes itself, So your brain has this cleaning mechanism that
Speaker 4: actually doesn't turn on until you sleep. So if you're
Speaker 4: not getting six and a half to nine hours of
Speaker 4: sleep at night, sort of trash builds up and it's
Speaker 4: going to be a lot harder for you to be
Speaker 4: effective in your job. So, as busy as I am,
Speaker 4: it's a priority for me.
Speaker 3: What do you say when it comes to napping. Is
Speaker 3: napping considered still part of that long you know, getting
Speaker 3: that six to eight hours of sleep or is that
Speaker 3: not good?
Speaker 4: Yeah, just think of it in a twenty four hour period.
Speaker 4: You want to target six and a half to nine hours.
Speaker 2: That was a personal question for me.
Speaker 3: I'm a napper. Okay, last question for you, how because
Speaker 3: I know you help so many people with your advice
Speaker 3: and your expertise, and I mean everything that you just
Speaker 3: said today is so so helpful, But you personally, how
Speaker 3: do you choose yourself on a daily basis? What do
Speaker 3: you do to make sure you are happy? You stay empowered,
Speaker 3: That I have the right habits and I only love food.
Speaker 4: That loves me back because you're in a relationship with food.
Speaker 4: And I don't know if you've ever been in a
Speaker 4: bad relationship, but all the time I have, and I'm
Speaker 4: not doing that anymore. I'm like married to my best
Speaker 4: friend and I'm damn sure not doing it with food.
Speaker 4: And so people go, I love pizza, but it's bad
Speaker 4: for you. I love ice cream, Yeah, it makes you
Speaker 4: fat and sad and feeble minded. No, and so oh
Speaker 4: it's like, oh, don't you have any fun? And I'm like, well,
Speaker 4: who has more fun? The person with the good brain
Speaker 4: and the person with the bad brain. And so I
Speaker 4: choose me by choosing things that.
Speaker 5: Love me back.
Speaker 4: That's perfect.
Speaker 3: Thank you. I'm Kallena Astrino's and we are backstage right
Speaker 3: now with Gabrielle Carteris. Thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 3: So let's talk about choosing yourself. This is really important
Speaker 3: to do on a day to day basis. So with
Speaker 3: all of us, I know, what are some ways that
Speaker 3: you make sure, you know you're busy, that you choose
Speaker 3: yourself on a day to day basis.
Speaker 2: You know, it's a practice, right, So for me at
Speaker 2: getting up early before everybody else is really important to
Speaker 2: have just quiet time. I take walks, I do a
Speaker 2: lot of yoga and a breathing for me. Breathing, I'm
Speaker 2: telling you, before doing anything, even coming here, I had
Speaker 2: to go breathe, Gabrielle, just be here, and I think,
Speaker 2: so those are the things I do to help myself
Speaker 2: be in the moment of my life.
Speaker 3: Can we talk about yoga really fast, because there are
Speaker 3: so many there's so much research out there about the
Speaker 3: benefits to yoga, but I feel like when people see
Speaker 3: the poses, they get nervous and they don't want to go.
Speaker 3: Can you just let people know what it's really like
Speaker 3: in those yoga rooms and how there's so many different
Speaker 3: levels for people.
Speaker 2: I've been doing yoga now for almost thirty three years,
Speaker 2: thirty four years. Yes, there is so many different types
Speaker 2: of yoga. First of all, yoga is great, and people
Speaker 2: need to have good teachers because you can hurt yourself.
Speaker 2: I really yoga, but yoga is Yoga is not the poses.
Speaker 2: Yoga is really about breathing. Yoga is teaching you how
Speaker 2: to be able to breathe even outside. What you do
Speaker 2: outside of the room, what we do in the room,
Speaker 2: is to help us in life. So there are different
Speaker 2: kinds in terms of levels of yoga. There's hatha yoga,
Speaker 2: there's yen yoga, which are more like that's a more
Speaker 2: I don't want to say it's not passive, because it's
Speaker 2: a more RESTful, easier, not as hard. Hata is all
Speaker 2: about the breath. You have vinyasa yoga, which can be
Speaker 2: more about strength. It's about flow, but all of the
Speaker 2: movements again, it's not about that. It really is about breathing.
Speaker 2: And I would say to everybody, you know, as we
Speaker 2: get older, particularly you know, when we don't move orf
Speaker 2: we're tight. That means blood's not flowing because our muscles
Speaker 2: are tight. When you stretch right and you're really releasing
Speaker 2: your your blood is flowing. And if your blood is flowing,
Speaker 2: you're going to get through your body. You're going to
Speaker 2: heal better, you're going to be healthier, you're going to
Speaker 2: feel better, your mind is going to be clear. So
Speaker 2: there's a real it's meditative. It can be. It can
Speaker 2: be you can have a very aggressive yoga class where
Speaker 2: you it's very athletic, but it's really all those are
Speaker 2: just things that you do. It's about breathing, and everybody
Speaker 2: can do it. And I think it's one of the best.
Speaker 2: I mean, for me, it is my saving grace. I
Speaker 2: even have an injury. I have a torn meniscus, and
Speaker 2: so I choose to do different kinds of yoga right
Speaker 2: now while I'm healing, so that I can still be
Speaker 2: in it.
Speaker 3: I feel like that yoga hearing you speak so passionate
Speaker 3: about it, and you mentioned it's the way you choose yourself.
Speaker 3: It also offers you that empowerment aspect, that voice, that
Speaker 3: something that you can turn to, that you know you
Speaker 3: can always count on to make you feel good. Can
Speaker 3: you talk about that a little bit?
Speaker 2: You know, it's so funny. I go and I do yoga.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I don't want to go, so I all use
Speaker 2: it in the respective yoga. I don't always want to
Speaker 2: go and do it because I don't want to get
Speaker 2: dressed to go whatever, And I go, and then when
Speaker 2: I'm in the yoga, what makes me feel good is
Speaker 2: AI arrived. So sometimes life is feeling good is sometimes
Speaker 2: just arriving even when you didn't want to leave, right
Speaker 2: it's just kind of getting there. So that makes me
Speaker 2: feel good. I think that when I'm in the yoga
Speaker 2: and I'm really starting to breathe. I get out of
Speaker 2: my talking monkey brain and I start settling in my
Speaker 2: body and I start to breathe and I'm in the moment.
Speaker 2: And then at the end, I swear to God. And
Speaker 2: this is true for me for yoga. Every time I'm like,
Speaker 2: I am a hero, I am a champion, I am
Speaker 2: a true that is when I because I did it
Speaker 2: despite whatever considerations I had. I showed up and I
Speaker 2: did my best. And in the end, I feel good
Speaker 2: and I as long as I've been doing it, so
Speaker 2: like thirty three years, right whatever, I still forget that
Speaker 2: until I finally finish and I'm like, that's what I
Speaker 2: wanted to do. That is exactly where I needed to be.
Speaker 2: So yoga that's where I find my worry your self,
Speaker 2: and that's when I don't know if that was the
Speaker 2: cold question you asked, but that's kind of like where
Speaker 2: I go with it.
Speaker 3: I mean, I agree with you. I feel like I'm
Speaker 3: not as advanced as you are by any means, but
Speaker 3: even just going to those classes and just taking the
Speaker 3: time out for yourself because life is so busy, and
Speaker 3: I mentioned this earlier in one of the other interviews.
Speaker 3: Our industry is so much of a hustle culture where
Speaker 3: you it's hard sometimes to make sure that you take
Speaker 3: yourself out of that. So I think it's always good
Speaker 3: to have.
Speaker 2: Well, you're not the industry else, right, Like it reminds
Speaker 2: you about who you really are, absolutely, because you have
Speaker 2: so many things you have to Like you're interviewing me
Speaker 2: and Neil, you have to be on point. You have
Speaker 2: to you know you're coming in here. You want to
Speaker 2: have a certain way you look, the certain way you
Speaker 2: have to act, and it's exhausting. At the end of
Speaker 2: the day. You want to be with.
Speaker 3: You, Yes, And I'm glad to be here with you.
Speaker 2: I'm glad to be with you. Thank you.
Speaker 3: Let's talk about Jenny taking the iconic line from the
Speaker 3: TV show that you guys were both on I know,
Speaker 3: Tuan ol hello and make it into this mantra. Did
Speaker 3: you ever think that all those years ago it would
Speaker 3: turn into what we're saying today with this huge event
Speaker 3: and just this huge, this outpouring of support and respect
Speaker 3: from women and men.
Speaker 2: Well, first of all, I just want to say, I
Speaker 2: choose me as just It's a phrase, so that's I
Speaker 2: never thought about ever, never connected whatever for me when
Speaker 2: I am really amazed with is Jenny. It is talk
Speaker 2: about somebody who is truly really blossom into her humanity,
Speaker 2: and who she is as a woman, is as a
Speaker 2: human being is tremendous. She really I have such deep
Speaker 2: respect for her. So if that's where she found her flame,
Speaker 2: you know, I think her flame came from many different things,
Speaker 2: and that was the anchor that she talks about. But
Speaker 2: what I can say is I never imagined that in
Speaker 2: our lives we would be here today at this time,
Speaker 2: and that I would be seeing Jenny as the woman
Speaker 2: that she is right now. And it's beautiful to see
Speaker 2: that she's making a difference for herself and for others
Speaker 2: that she cares. And I think that people receiving her
Speaker 2: and all that we are in a time of great
Speaker 2: strife in this world and we need to feel connected
Speaker 2: and lifted up, and so for what she's doing is
Speaker 2: tremendously important. I think now more than ever, I.
Speaker 3: Feel like both of you grew up in the public eye.
Speaker 3: When you look back at your time on the show together,
Speaker 3: on look back at your friendship then till now, is
Speaker 3: there anything that you would say to her younger self
Speaker 3: or your younger self to help navigate all of.
Speaker 2: That to help navigate the celebrity of it all.
Speaker 3: The celebrity that also, I mean, you guys were everywhere,
Speaker 3: so yeah, you know what, it's so weird.
Speaker 2: I was thinking about this the other day. You know,
Speaker 2: I have only known my adult life like this, and
Speaker 2: Jenny start even younger than me, but our whole lives
Speaker 2: have been this is the only thing we've ever known.
Speaker 2: So I think that if I were to say anything
Speaker 2: to my younger self or to Jenny's younger self, it's
Speaker 2: the thing I would say to anybody when they're young.
Speaker 2: It's all going to be good. It's okay. Just keep on,
Speaker 2: keep being honest tree to yourself, and life will happen
Speaker 2: and it'll be unexpected, and know that it's okay. That's
Speaker 2: just what it is. But this has just been our truth.
Speaker 2: But everybody's truth is you know what I mean. I
Speaker 2: don't know any other truth. I really don't.
Speaker 3: Well, in your adult life, I've seen so many things
Speaker 3: that you've done with helping people in the industry, making
Speaker 3: sure you have a voice for the voiceless. Moving forward
Speaker 3: ten fifteen years from now, where do you see yourself
Speaker 3: in those avenues? And also where do you hope to
Speaker 3: see Jenny when it comes to I Choose Me and
Speaker 3: all of the outreach that she's doing to help with
Speaker 3: women empowerment.
Speaker 2: I just hope she's happy. I think that you know,
Speaker 2: she's going to keep. Clearly, Jenny is really energized. She's
Speaker 2: a hard worker, she's very focused. So I imagine it
Speaker 2: will become I Choose Me empire. I mean, I think
Speaker 2: she's going to do great where I'll be. You know what,
Speaker 2: I don't know where I'll be. I am. I'll say this.
Speaker 2: I think I'm sixty five now, so I'll say I
Speaker 2: don't think it ever stops that seeking who you are
Speaker 2: and what's going on. I Choose Me moment is reinvented
Speaker 2: constantly through our lives, and so I'm choosing me right now.
Speaker 2: I really am, and I'm really I'm taking time to
Speaker 2: be with my children and my husband and my friend
Speaker 2: and myself, and I don't know where I'll be. I'm
Speaker 2: a president right now with the International Federation of Actors,
Speaker 2: so I know I have four more years of service
Speaker 2: for performers still, but I think my whole life will
Speaker 2: be still about service. I don't know where I'll be.
Speaker 2: I hope that I am a part of the empire
Speaker 2: with Jenny, I choose me life, and but for myself,
Speaker 2: I hope I'm a part of my my I am
Speaker 2: the storm. There was a whole thing I said I had.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you heard it, but you probably
Speaker 2: didn't because we were just doing I have a tattoo
Speaker 2: and it says, I am the storm, and it comes
Speaker 2: from Fate whispers to the warrior, you cannot withstand the storm,
Speaker 2: and the warrior whispers back, I am the storm, and
Speaker 2: so I am the storm. Is what I have on
Speaker 2: my arm. And I hope to be fifteen years from
Speaker 2: now a fierce storm continue to be I do. I hope,
Speaker 2: and I hope that for another thirty years, and me
Speaker 2: give myself like thirty more years and then I think,
Speaker 2: you know, we'll see I think it's.
Speaker 3: Going to happen. Actually, I know it's going to happen.
Speaker 3: I believe it's going to happen.
Speaker 2: I believe there. I believe in you.
Speaker 3: Yes, thank you so much. You're amazing. I'm Cleean u
Speaker 3: Estrainas and we are backstage right now the Women's Empowerment
Speaker 3: Summit for us. I choose me, and we have vowed Chermyskovsky,
Speaker 3: Did I say it right? I'm going to really get mad.
Speaker 5: It's good, hold on, it's probably it's not your fault.
Speaker 3: Can you say for me?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: No, Noamerkovski, Chamarkovsky beautiful, Okay, Chamarkovski Okay, three two one.
Speaker 3: I'm Kalina Astrinos. We're here at the Women's Empowerment Summit
Speaker 3: for I choose me and I have vowed Trimerskovsky. Did
Speaker 3: I do it again? It's okay, tell me, now do
Speaker 3: it one more time?
Speaker 2: Do I practice this for hour?
Speaker 3: Chamr cough CoV Chamarakovski.
Speaker 5: It's like Tchaikovsky, but Tamarkovski.
Speaker 3: We have vowed. Tamarikovski here with us right now? What's up?
Speaker 3: They're going to edit that together for me. Thank you
Speaker 3: for being so cool about that. My name is tough too,
Speaker 3: so I always try to, like, what is get it right,
Speaker 3: Kleina Astrinos, But it looks like a youok.
Speaker 5: Like first one first take?
Speaker 3: Okay, Wow, anyway, let's talk about you, shall we? How
Speaker 3: we cannot we can't be as perfect as you? How
Speaker 3: are you? Because you were recently in the hospital for
Speaker 3: her to go?
Speaker 6: I was, I mean, that's not crazy news. But but
Speaker 6: thank you for mentioning that. I yes, I'm on tour,
Speaker 6: first of all, just to give it some context. It's
Speaker 6: not just because I'm just turned forty. I am on tour,
Speaker 6: uh And it was like a situation and just perfect storm.
Speaker 6: I sleep on the back of the bus with my
Speaker 6: son and gets a little shaky on the road. So
Speaker 6: I guess I don't want to get too much into it,
Speaker 6: but one of my little equilibrium stones crystals they call them, yep,
Speaker 6: kind of escaped the pouch and what happens is then
Speaker 6: you have vertigo.
Speaker 5: And so.
Speaker 6: Basically I had to do this maneuver to get it
Speaker 6: back into the pouch and then it kind of put
Speaker 6: everything back into the you know, into places.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Again, it was scary because I'm in the middle
Speaker 5: of tour.
Speaker 6: I you know, I'm constantly obviously I'm on stage, dancing, turning, jumping,
Speaker 6: I'm lifting a lot of times. You know, I'm supporting
Speaker 6: my partners. So that was kind of the challenge. But thankfully,
Speaker 6: health wise, it's all good, Thank you good.
Speaker 3: And you know what, forty is the new twenty, so
Speaker 3: don't even worry about it. So I feel I feel
Speaker 3: like Benjamin Button I mean you look like you look great.
Speaker 2: You know, I love it.
Speaker 5: Okay, this is audio only.
Speaker 2: What stop?
Speaker 3: No, everybody would agree with me if they saw you.
Speaker 3: Don't even worry about it. Let's talk about Hulu was
Speaker 3: announced with the new reality show Looking for the next
Speaker 3: Dancing with the Stars pro. Okay, you obviously have a
Speaker 3: ton of experience. So what are three things that you
Speaker 3: think every great dancer needs to know in order to
Speaker 3: succeed in the professional dance world.
Speaker 6: Uh, well, I don't want to digress from the question.
Speaker 6: Is just Dancing with the Stars in particular is a
Speaker 6: ballroom partner dance focus show, right, And so for partner
Speaker 6: dancing is very different than when you're doing contemporary or
Speaker 6: jazz or any solo stuff. So I know there's one
Speaker 6: advice when it comes to a professional dancer pursuing the
Speaker 6: craft in general, and there's another advice for professional dancers
Speaker 6: that are pursuing a spot on Dancing with the Stars
Speaker 6: and being a bom dancer. I think the number one
Speaker 6: thing is is to remember to be of service to
Speaker 6: your partner. And again, ballroom dance kind of champions that
Speaker 6: and I'm proud of that. And so sometimes if you
Speaker 6: have a really talented dancer who can do it all
Speaker 6: but has no experience being a partner. I think they
Speaker 6: will find it quite quite a bit challenging. So that's
Speaker 6: my advice. If you want to be on Dancing with
Speaker 6: the Stars, start taking partner dancing immediately. Secondly, I mean again,
Speaker 6: you gotta love it. One of the things I'm proud
Speaker 6: of with the success that I've been lucky enough to
Speaker 6: have on Dancing with the Stars is that I pursued
Speaker 6: ballroom dance at a time when there was no prospect.
Speaker 6: There was no Dancing with the Stars in my future,
Speaker 6: there was no real financially lucrative career ahead of me.
Speaker 6: I was just pursuing it with blind passion, you know,
Speaker 6: and and somehow the universe aligned for me. So I'm
Speaker 6: really proud of that. I'm proud that my parents were
Speaker 6: able to support me irrationally as well, with no end
Speaker 6: goal in mind of like I said, financial prosperity, which
Speaker 6: is something that I think a lot of people look
Speaker 6: uh when when they're looking to pursue a craft of sorts, Uh,
Speaker 6: where's you know, how am I going to make money?
Speaker 6: I didn't have those thoughts. I was just luckily or unluckily.
Speaker 6: I don't know, I was ignorant to that. I wasn't
Speaker 6: considering that. I was just you know, I had a
Speaker 6: bank full of pride because I was doing what I love.
Speaker 3: So I honestly that's kind of empowering, right, because you
Speaker 3: say true to yourself and the goal that you set
Speaker 3: out to accomplish.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Again, I have a tough time for an advice because
Speaker 6: I feel very fortunate, you know, and you know you
Speaker 6: can't replicate luck, right, I just think you know, luck
Speaker 6: is preparation meeting opportunity. So what you can do is
Speaker 6: stay optimistic and keep showing up and keep working hard.
Speaker 6: But again, unless you have a passion for the craft,
Speaker 6: you will always have.
Speaker 5: A hard time working on it. You know.
Speaker 6: I just loved perfecting it, and you know I wasn't
Speaker 6: too I guess preoccupied with the financial incentives behind it.
Speaker 6: So that's why I'm lucky and fortunate and so grateful
Speaker 6: and then so excited to do what I do because,
Speaker 6: like I said, my parents gave up a lot for it.
Speaker 6: I gave up a lot for it, and we did
Speaker 6: it for the right reasons, and the universe rewarded us.
Speaker 5: Well.
Speaker 3: You mentioned being a good partner in dance. You have
Speaker 3: a partner away from dance, right, your wife celebrated what
Speaker 3: seven years of marriage? Congratulations, that's a huge accomplishment.
Speaker 5: Is it's like today's times, it's like years year marriage.
Speaker 3: Let's talk about how you stay empowered, stay true to yourself,
Speaker 3: but also stay true to your marriage, stay true to
Speaker 3: each other, to make sure you both get the chance
Speaker 3: to choose you individually but also in that partnership.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I mean again, it took a lot of work and
Speaker 6: growth and conversation, difficult conversation, and yeah, man, I just realized,
Speaker 6: you know, I also learned through these you know, we've
Speaker 6: been married for seven years, we've been together for way
Speaker 6: more than that. You know, there's no quicker path to
Speaker 6: resentment then not choosing yourself, you know, to neglecting yourself
Speaker 6: in a partnership. You know, So, as I say, you know,
Speaker 6: I really look forward to being of service to my partner,
Speaker 6: whether it's my wife in life or.
Speaker 5: Someone, you know, my partner in dance. You know, I'm
Speaker 5: really driven by that. I love that.
Speaker 6: I love camaraderie, I love the unity of it. And
Speaker 6: it took me some time to realize that you need
Speaker 6: to also respect the relationship that you have with yourself
Speaker 6: and your own needs. And it's not always uh a
Speaker 6: toxic selfishness to choose yourself at times. In fact, I
Speaker 6: think it's a very responsible part of a relationship because
Speaker 6: you know, it's like that seat belt theory, right, if
Speaker 6: you got to buckle yourself up before assisting someone else.
Speaker 5: If you're if you're.
Speaker 6: Malnourished emotionally, spiritually, it's very little that you can offer
Speaker 6: to someone else, especially someone so close to you, like
Speaker 6: your significant others. So I just realized, yeah, like like
Speaker 6: with health, like with everything, you gotta you know, replenish
Speaker 6: your own I guess, well, spiritual well, and then and
Speaker 6: then you could, like I said, if you're a good person,
Speaker 6: you're going to use those resources to to help the
Speaker 6: people around you and to love people around you. And
Speaker 6: so that's kind of like.
Speaker 5: What I've learned.
Speaker 6: Love it, we've both learned. You know, I think it's
Speaker 6: it's important because you want to be loved and and
Speaker 6: and you know, be attended to. But again I think
Speaker 6: you need to be mindful of your partner and make
Speaker 6: sure that she loves herself and attends to herself as well.
Speaker 3: We just got to rap already before you go still
Speaker 3: some more time. What's the last thing you did where.
Speaker 2: You chose yourself this?
Speaker 6: You know, I had a show last night in Vegas.
Speaker 6: We drove down. I have a show tonight at the
Speaker 6: Adobe Theater, and I should you know, probably tour wise,
Speaker 6: they'd want me backstage right now, you know, warming up
Speaker 6: and then thinking about the show.
Speaker 5: But you know this is important to me.
Speaker 6: I wanted to be in this collective of people speaking
Speaker 6: about things outside of dance.
Speaker 5: Uh. And I chose me.
Speaker 6: To, you know, I chose me to be here and
Speaker 6: to do that and to feed my soul so that tonight,
Speaker 6: you know, I could come out there and be the
Speaker 6: best performer.
Speaker 3: I could be beautiful. Sorry I asked you about dance.
Speaker 6: No, that's okay, I listen. I love dance, but again,
Speaker 6: it's like back with dance. Dance is just something that
Speaker 6: I've been lucky enough to find and use as a
Speaker 6: vehicle to excel in my life, to be of service
Speaker 6: to others, you know, kind of realize my own potential.
Speaker 6: But it isn't who I am or or you know,
Speaker 6: the only thing I love.
Speaker 5: So yeah, thank you, Bravo.