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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and

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Speaker 1: I'm Jamila. Oh, Jamila's out today?

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Speaker 2: All right? I got distracted and even I got he

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Speaker 2: threw me off there.

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Speaker 3: Wow, because Jamila and Mila are so I know different.

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Speaker 3: I never hear you call yourself that I'm Jamila. My

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Speaker 3: name is Jamila.

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Speaker 2: I think I call you like I only call you Jamila. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I don't know why you're acting so.

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Speaker 2: Because I don't ever hear you whatever. Whatever. Moving on, Hi, guys, Hi.

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Speaker 3: It's us bickering about my name.

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Speaker 1: I can only have one.

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Speaker 4: Why is it that every time you start recording, the

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Speaker 4: fucking blind ass dog wants to come in.

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Speaker 1: It's like she's blind, but she knows we're doing this,

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Speaker 1: so she knocks. It's like, why, Okay, how are you

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Speaker 1: doing this week?

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Speaker 2: I'm good.

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Speaker 1: Actually, I just got back from a little trip to

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Speaker 1: Palm Springs.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, how was that?

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Speaker 1: It was?

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Speaker 4: It was fun, it was good. I went with a

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Speaker 4: few girlfriends. Actually was a girl's trip, and then my boyfriend.

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Speaker 4: Then I noticed that poetry. I was like, it's poetry, baby.

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Speaker 4: The only guy there?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he was.

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Speaker 4: I ended up actually having a friend that was in

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Speaker 4: town that came through. But originally it wasn't supposed to

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Speaker 4: be just girls, and so that's when he kind agreed

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Speaker 4: to come there. Was supposed to be like another dude,

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Speaker 4: and then like they back he backed out, and then

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Speaker 4: it was just him.

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Speaker 1: Was he in heaven or was he like overly annoyed? No,

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Speaker 1: he's cool, Like he's no, he was. He was very

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Speaker 1: cool with the girls.

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Speaker 2: The ladies.

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Speaker 4: You know, I had to make sure that I was

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Speaker 4: also making sure I was being attended to, hit attentive

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Speaker 4: and not like just girls tripping it up and being

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Speaker 4: like fuck you nigga.

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Speaker 3: That's what I hate hanging out with guys because they

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Speaker 3: always needed to be like don't be like fuck niggas,

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Speaker 3: go away, let me.

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Speaker 2: Get my fuck niggas off.

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Speaker 1: Okayay god, yeah, No, it was cool.

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Speaker 4: We rented this house. I just love like Palm Springs,

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Speaker 4: and they were like retro vibes. You know, it's always

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Speaker 4: like those like sixties seventies retro houses that are kind

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Speaker 4: of like slanted with like big floor to ceiling windows.

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Speaker 1: Was it super hot or was it not so hot

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Speaker 1: that it was hot?

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Speaker 4: But my friend went to Palm Springs like three weeks

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Speaker 4: ago and said it was like unbearable even with the pool,

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Speaker 4: Like the pool was hot.

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Speaker 1: That's what I was thinking.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, sometimes La gets so hot, Palm Springs is

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Speaker 3: unbearably hot, Like you can't even go outside to the

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Speaker 3: pool until it's like five o'clock.

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Speaker 2: No, it was good, it was cool.

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Speaker 4: We did Tesla, which was great, really great until the

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Speaker 4: end when I had no more happiness left inside me.

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Speaker 4: I was literally like this reminded me of this one

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Speaker 4: time when I went to Coachella, like when I was

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Speaker 4: like twenty two and I did so many drugs that

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Speaker 4: like I remember calling my baby daddy and he was

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Speaker 4: not my baby daddy at this point, but I called

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Speaker 4: him and I was like, Babe, I'm never gonna be

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Speaker 4: happy again. I'm never gonna be happy. I don't have

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Speaker 4: the capacity to be happy ever again. And that's kind

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Speaker 4: of like how I felt, because like I was, we were,

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Speaker 4: I was, I was. I was just pure euphoria, just

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Speaker 4: so happy for how.

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Speaker 1: Many hours, like four to five? I took a half.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Well, then she called me like I was the dealer

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Speaker 3: and cursed me out, like I have.

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Speaker 1: No happiness left. It's terrible.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, bitch, what I was like it was literally

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Speaker 4: like a switch. Like I was sitting in the jacuzzie

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Speaker 4: and I was happy, and then I wasn't anymore. I

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Speaker 4: was not and then at that point I was like,

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Speaker 4: I need to go have sex. Maybe that'll make make

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Speaker 4: you happy. Yeah, And then we did and it was great.

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Speaker 4: And then I was not only unhappy, but I was tired.

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Speaker 4: And then he left to go to the store, and

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Speaker 4: then I got really sad.

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Speaker 2: I don't ask me why. I knew he was coming back,

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Speaker 2: but like I got hella sad.

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Speaker 4: And then like my friends were talking to me, and

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Speaker 4: like one of my girlfriends doesn't like do shit like that,

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Speaker 4: so she was just trying to get me to drink.

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Speaker 4: She kept like passing me drinks and I was just

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Speaker 4: like sitting there just like with no emotion, just like

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Speaker 4: staring at them eating dry ass pizza. And then eventually

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Speaker 4: like they kept talking and I was like, I'm gonna

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Speaker 4: go lay down, and I just laid there with like

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Speaker 4: awake but like tired but awake but tired, and I

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Speaker 4: was like.

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Speaker 1: Just let this day be over the next day, do

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Speaker 1: you feel better?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 1: Then so he went to the store to go get

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Speaker 1: me vitamins. He was like, you need vitamins.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna go get you like ashwaganda root, whatever the

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Speaker 4: hell it's called.

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Speaker 2: He got me all hell all these vitamins.

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Speaker 4: When I took them, and the next morning I did

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Speaker 4: feel much better, and they were.

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Speaker 1: Like, you want to do it again?

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Speaker 2: I was like, hell, no, bitch the fuck no, I'm good.

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Speaker 3: Here's the thing with ecstasy, guys, you gotta be careful.

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Speaker 2: I can't do that shit.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, when I take halfs I'm usually good the next day.

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Speaker 3: But when I do whole, or if I don't do

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Speaker 3: a tesla, if I do some other kind of molly

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Speaker 3: or ecstasy the next day, it can be not good.

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Speaker 3: It could be pretty grim. My friends, who's coming to

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Speaker 3: the drive in this weekend? I mean, on Friday, we

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Speaker 3: have a drive in.

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Speaker 4: Hey, oh my god, I'm so excited. We're doing our

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Speaker 4: first meetup in forever. It feels like five hundred years hellelujah.

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Speaker 4: And it's a movie drive in and we're gonna go

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Speaker 4: watch next Friday.

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Speaker 1: And wave at each other from the cars.

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Speaker 4: You know. My friend told me he was like because

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Speaker 4: he was like, I've ever been to a drive in.

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Speaker 4: I was like, I don't know, and He was like,

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Speaker 4: the best driving experience I've ever had is in a

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Speaker 4: pickup truck.

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Speaker 1: Well, yeah, because you can. And I was like, do

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Speaker 1: I need to message my baby daddy?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because we can back it in and then we

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Speaker 3: could put blankets in the yea, I know.

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Speaker 1: We can probably open your trunk too. Yeah, that's how

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Speaker 1: you're supposed to do it.

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Speaker 3: In Atlanta, Ni guts, we out there barbecueing and shit,

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Speaker 3: it gets real. You could do like all time, bring weed,

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Speaker 3: bring food, where your pajamas.

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Speaker 1: You ever been to the drive in? I'm like a

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Speaker 1: huge fan of the drive in.

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Speaker 3: I drive to like far places to go to the

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Speaker 3: driving because there's not one in La.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm excited.

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Speaker 3: To go to this drive in me too. I'm excited

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Speaker 3: comfort La is gonna be my girlfriend. My crazy girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: Stacey was like, I'm gonna bring a surprise for you.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, don't bring ecstasy bag, please, I'm already depressed.

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Speaker 1: Don't bring it. Don't want it. You know I can't

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Speaker 1: say no, So don't worry.

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Speaker 3: If you guys come, I'm not gonna be preer pressuring anyone.

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Speaker 1: To do more.

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Speaker 3: You take ecstasy like our usual made ups, don't worry.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna be a swell, disciplined regular movie watcher.

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Speaker 2: Oh you are okay, cool?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean so the next day, like yeah, I

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Speaker 4: had to recover and I was like, I'm just gonna

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Speaker 4: drink and it was good and it was great.

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Speaker 2: I just realized that like those type.

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Speaker 1: Of things, I can only do like once a few.

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Speaker 4: Every like I don't know, six months. I don't really

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Speaker 4: know how people recover from them quickly.

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Speaker 3: I don't know how people do like two ecstasies, three

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Speaker 3: ecstasies in a row, like three days in a row.

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Speaker 1: People just keep.

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Speaker 2: How do you how do you have any serotonin left

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Speaker 2: for to drain out of your brain?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know, but there's no way.

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Speaker 4: I was like, there's no fucking I could do this

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Speaker 4: all the time. I'm just I'm really responsible. Actually that's

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Speaker 4: what poetry Bay told me. He was like, you know,

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Speaker 4: you have like very responsible, illegal fun and I was like,

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Speaker 4: you know what, I agree with that.

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Speaker 2: I agree.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure we've made some bad decisions.

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Speaker 2: I mean I know, but like they just they're still

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Speaker 2: like I'm still always like present and being like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's probably I might die. I mean those days I

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Speaker 2: think our.

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Speaker 1: Little except Momchella last year, which.

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Speaker 4: I mean, we weren't gonna die, we were just gonna

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Speaker 4: get and abandoned.

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Speaker 3: Well, this weekend, Adventure Bay broke up with me because

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Speaker 3: because of myself, because of my own actions.

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to go into deep detail right now

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Speaker 1: because I'm not prepared for that right now. But he

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Speaker 1: he's gonna be pissed.

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Speaker 3: But whatever, Adventure Bay, you guys don't judge me. First

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Speaker 3: of all, I stayed at his house.

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Speaker 1: I took Luna.

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Speaker 3: It was my first time staying his house overnight with Luna.

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Speaker 1: Actually she never been to his house.

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Speaker 3: Like I know, we've been on camping and stuff, but

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Speaker 3: I was already feeling on edge about that. First of all,

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Speaker 3: I'm a cancer, and I'm realizing as a thirty two

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Speaker 3: year old cancer, I am becoming increasingly emotional like I

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Speaker 3: used to be. Like my my Gemini side because I'm

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Speaker 3: on the cusp usually really straightens me out, like I'm

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Speaker 3: not a very emo ass bitch, but like this year,

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Speaker 3: not so much. I'm just crying all the time. I'm

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Speaker 3: just on edge. Everything is a big deal. So I

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Speaker 3: had to My plan was to take Luna with me

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Speaker 3: to my appointment because it was our friend. But also

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Speaker 3: she started that bullshit ass Zoom school, so she has

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Speaker 3: to be in like the right place at the right time.

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Speaker 3: So I was running late, and so she was gonna

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Speaker 3: be late if I took her with me. So I'm like,

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Speaker 3: you know what he's like, just leave her here, it's fine,

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Speaker 3: I'm working. She could be on the zoom.

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Speaker 1: I was like, okay, okay, So I set her up.

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Speaker 1: I left, and I was having anxiety about that.

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Speaker 3: You know, Like one of the things I say is

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Speaker 3: like I'm never gonna like date a guy and let

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Speaker 3: him stay with my kid for extended times. Like, don't

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Speaker 3: trust niggas, don't trust anybody with your baby. Even though

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Speaker 3: I don't have a baby, I have like a tween ager.

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Speaker 3: So like, as I was walking out the door, he

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Speaker 3: just looked at me. He's like, you're doing a good job,

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Speaker 3: and I was like, thank you.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know why. That made me want to cry.

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Speaker 1: Everything makes me want to cry.

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Speaker 3: So I get to where I'm going and I start

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Speaker 3: lashing and I said, huh no, no, no, I left

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Speaker 3: my computer and I shouldn't have done that. I have

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Speaker 3: trauma from my baby. Daddy going through my shit, my journals,

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Speaker 3: my computer, my phone.

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Speaker 1: Any possible ten seconds, anything you could think of.

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Speaker 3: He will go through. So and I've had like even

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Speaker 3: I had a bad history growing up. Remember I made

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Speaker 3: that sacred language. I have a secret language from childhood

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Speaker 3: because people were going through myself, teachers, my parents, all

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Speaker 3: types of I have trauma from that. And as soon

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Speaker 3: as I got to where I was going, I was like, fuck,

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Speaker 3: I shouldn't have left my computer there. Sure enough, I

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Speaker 3: get back and I could tell something is a little

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Speaker 3: bit off, and I'm like, fuck, what is in my messages?

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Speaker 1: What have I done? Like I'll admit I'm not perfect.

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Speaker 3: I haven't been perfect, and this guy pretty much has

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Speaker 3: been adventure my husband like pretty much perfect. So I

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Speaker 3: had no there's no I have no excuses for my behavior.

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Speaker 3: But I felt super violated. And he didn't say anything.

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Speaker 3: He didn't say I went through your shit. But you know,

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Speaker 3: you'd be knowing, you know.

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Speaker 4: When the energy shifts and you're like, oh shit. And

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Speaker 4: also a guilty conscience will do that too.

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Speaker 2: You'd be like, oh fuck.

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Speaker 1: Right, you're scanning through the things, and what did I do?

248
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Speaker 1: Have I done?

249
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Speaker 2: What did I say?

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Speaker 5: So?

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Speaker 1: I didn't have.

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Speaker 3: I had like super anxiety in my gut, like I

253
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Speaker 3: had to get out of there.

254
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Speaker 1: So eventually we left. He dropped us off and I

255
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Speaker 1: could tell.

256
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Speaker 3: I was like, I said I love you when I left,

257
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Speaker 3: and he's like, I don't feel that way, and I

258
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Speaker 3: was like, okay, great. So when I got to where

259
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Speaker 3: I was going, I text like, I fucked up. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: He's like explained, and I was like, well, let's just

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Speaker 3: talk in person. And he ghosted me for like three days,

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Speaker 3: which will make a bitch go fucking nuts.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, I finally talked to him, he dumped me.

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Speaker 1: It got emotional.

265
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Speaker 3: I feel like, I don't know, he's like a computer whiz.

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Speaker 3: I don't know how much access to my shit he's

267
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Speaker 3: had for how long.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. It was just a lot of unanswered questions.

269
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Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, I took I'm

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Speaker 3: taking responsibility for my actions because I know that I

271
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Speaker 3: was wrong. I'm realizing, like why did I do this?

272
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Speaker 3: Because I have Nigad tendencies. It's true, I do.

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Speaker 1: I do.

274
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Speaker 3: I have nicod tendencies, and I can really separate sex

275
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Speaker 3: from emotion easily.

276
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Speaker 1: And also like I have I have.

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Speaker 3: I have a lot of mostly had toxic relationships. I've

278
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Speaker 3: had seen toxic relationships, and I guess the part of

279
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Speaker 3: me is like, let me prove that this is also toxic.

280
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Speaker 3: You know, like this, this is too good to be true.

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Speaker 2: You know this, I don't toxic feels comfortable.

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Speaker 3: I don't deserve this and if I maybe, if I

283
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Speaker 3: do this, I'm gonna pull out you know, his true feelings,

284
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Speaker 3: you know, or like maybe I'm playing up to like

285
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Speaker 3: what I've been people have projected on me, and I

286
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Speaker 3: don't know. There's all types of reasons that I have

287
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,920
Speaker 3: to like sit down and explore because I feel really

288
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Speaker 3: fucked up.

289
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Speaker 1: He's been really good to me, and so he dumbed me.

290
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Speaker 2: Have you ever dumped?

291
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,520
Speaker 3: I'm sure I have, But you know that's I also noticed,

292
00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:38,439
Speaker 3: like I also try to make people dumb me. At

293
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Speaker 3: the end, he's like, do you consider yourself a hoe?

294
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:50,200
Speaker 3: And like mid tiers, I was like, what, no, why

295
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:53,920
Speaker 3: do you you don't know? What he said like basically guess,

296
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Speaker 3: but like I feel like that's what I was getting.

297
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Speaker 1: That's what I like, Not that I wanted that you

298
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Speaker 1: wanted him to call you a hout. I wanted to

299
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Speaker 1: be like I told you.

300
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,840
Speaker 2: I told you like you're not you're an asshole.

301
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, like I knew, like that's I knew that's how

302
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:05,480
Speaker 1: you felt about it.

303
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, kind of like I knew it, like I knew

304
00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:11,079
Speaker 3: you were fronting for that. I don't know what, like

305
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:15,880
Speaker 3: I don't know why, like why that's my weird sick

306
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,320
Speaker 3: cycle or why, Like I don't know why.

307
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,959
Speaker 1: I don't know why that's like how I felt.

308
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:26,360
Speaker 2: Well. Also, he asked you that, right, Yeah, why did

309
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:27,080
Speaker 2: he ask you that?

310
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Speaker 1: Because he probably wanted me to know that. I'm huh exactly.

311
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:33,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, well done, so like your feelings are not not

312
00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:36,600
Speaker 4: valid actually, like that was an asshole thing for him

313
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:40,320
Speaker 4: to say. Also, you're an asshole for whatever whatever you did.

314
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,600
Speaker 4: So you know, I guess it's like a tit for

315
00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:44,840
Speaker 4: tat type of situation. He wants you to hurt like

316
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:48,360
Speaker 4: you hurt that he hurts, like he felt hurt by you. However,

317
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:54,880
Speaker 4: I do feel that when men feel when you men

318
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:58,400
Speaker 4: use that start using those type of tactics to me,

319
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:01,640
Speaker 4: it's a red flag for like what other ways will

320
00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:02,120
Speaker 4: you make.

321
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:06,240
Speaker 2: Me feel like disgraced by my body and the way

322
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:09,199
Speaker 2: I use it? You know, whether or not I'm using

323
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,400
Speaker 2: it in the in the ways that we've agreed upon,

324
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,840
Speaker 2: does not make me this or that, you know, And

325
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,600
Speaker 2: I want you to know that, like you are not,

326
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,920
Speaker 2: oh yeah, and I know you know that, but I

327
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,360
Speaker 2: want you to know that because I know that men

328
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:26,040
Speaker 2: have violated you. I know that men have said things

329
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:29,400
Speaker 2: to you that have made you have to question that

330
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:30,320
Speaker 2: in yourself.

331
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:33,720
Speaker 4: And you are not. And you are just a free

332
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:36,240
Speaker 4: woman who is trying to figure their shit out right right,

333
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,720
Speaker 4: you know, And like I'm not going to fault him

334
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:40,840
Speaker 4: for it, because I think he's a good guy, but

335
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,080
Speaker 4: like that can't happen again.

336
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:47,160
Speaker 1: It's just so I think for me, it's just so predictable.

337
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,320
Speaker 3: And I even put myself in that position had it

338
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:50,800
Speaker 3: been the other way around, and I'd be like, you're

339
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:51,240
Speaker 3: a hoe.

340
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,280
Speaker 1: Like I don't know, I don't know.

341
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,720
Speaker 3: I just think I think men use that word particularly

342
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:59,400
Speaker 3: because it's there's so much weight on it. There's been

343
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,760
Speaker 3: so much weight on it, so immediately, you know, it

344
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,720
Speaker 3: takes you from here to here, like from the woman

345
00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:06,920
Speaker 3: that I loved to like some bitch on the street.

346
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,600
Speaker 1: Oh that's what it was. This is what it was.

347
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:17,040
Speaker 3: Then prior to that question he said, he said.

348
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:18,200
Speaker 1: You know, it's still it's cool.

349
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,680
Speaker 3: We could still go have drinks, you have good sex,

350
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:26,200
Speaker 3: And I was like, okay, yes, even mid tears, I

351
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:32,120
Speaker 3: was like, listen, we're not gonna go have drinks and

352
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:33,760
Speaker 3: we're not gonna have.

353
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:37,840
Speaker 1: Sex like you. It's not what bothered me about it.

354
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,880
Speaker 3: Like keep in mind, I know the niggas out there

355
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:42,960
Speaker 3: like bitch, Okay, I know I'm a fuck up. I

356
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:46,000
Speaker 3: fucked up. I realized that I can't take back those actions.

357
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,840
Speaker 3: I have no I have no real reason why I

358
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:51,040
Speaker 3: did what I did. I don't That's something I have

359
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,600
Speaker 3: to explore. There are things that I definitely have to heal.

360
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:59,440
Speaker 3: Me having casual sex for absolutely no reason is not mature,

361
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:02,080
Speaker 3: and I don't know, I have no excuse for that.

362
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:05,720
Speaker 1: But I feel like that those.

363
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:09,760
Speaker 3: Particular comments were just like the same, like taking me

364
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,080
Speaker 3: from here on this pedestal that you've created for me

365
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:16,280
Speaker 3: because he treats me great, and then saying, but I'll

366
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:19,320
Speaker 3: dispose of you this way. I'll just I'll use you

367
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,240
Speaker 3: into like this, like like how you use your like

368
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,760
Speaker 3: how you're letting other people use you.

369
00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:25,560
Speaker 1: And again, I know you're hurt. I know he's hurt.

370
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,480
Speaker 2: And the thing about it is like, I know he's

371
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:28,280
Speaker 2: not capable of that.

372
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,360
Speaker 4: He said that to hurt you specifically because I know

373
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:35,040
Speaker 4: that he's probably not capable of taking you to drinks

374
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,760
Speaker 4: and just fucking you casually because.

375
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:37,360
Speaker 2: Your sex is good.

376
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:39,840
Speaker 4: No, I know that too, but you know, but that's

377
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,800
Speaker 4: that's what I'm saying, Like he doesn't really feel that

378
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:43,720
Speaker 4: way at all, and.

379
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:48,960
Speaker 3: That he said he felt sad for me, which okay,

380
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:52,240
Speaker 3: that's sad. I mean, okay, I mean, I don't know.

381
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,400
Speaker 3: I just I just took it because what am I

382
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:57,920
Speaker 3: gonna do, right, Like I'm wrong despite the fact that

383
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,560
Speaker 3: like you invaded my privacy to get to information.

384
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:00,920
Speaker 1: I'm wrong.

385
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,320
Speaker 3: I'm dead wrong, which not much I could say, so

386
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:03,680
Speaker 3: I wasn't really trying to defend myself.

387
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:05,440
Speaker 1: But what I did say before I left.

388
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:07,320
Speaker 3: Mid Tiers, I was like, you could you could say

389
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,240
Speaker 3: you feel sorry for me, you feel sad for me,

390
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,920
Speaker 3: You could say you know, we can we can fuck occasionally.

391
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,639
Speaker 3: I'm like, but don't forget that this is this was

392
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:18,520
Speaker 3: real three days ago, you know, Like that's my thing,

393
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,560
Speaker 3: Like we can go through things and we can like

394
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,320
Speaker 3: have disagreements and people.

395
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:25,280
Speaker 1: Will fuck up. But in the heat of those fuck ups,

396
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,000
Speaker 1: like where.

397
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:30,040
Speaker 3: Like even in hurt, where am I gonna how how

398
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:30,720
Speaker 3: low am.

399
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,160
Speaker 1: I willing to go to make you hurt?

400
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,920
Speaker 3: That's something I have a big boundary on because I've

401
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:38,600
Speaker 3: been in relationships that had none. It was just like

402
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:42,680
Speaker 3: fuck you bitch, you trash ass, like like like what

403
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,200
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. So it was a lot

404
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:47,280
Speaker 3: of up and down and manipulation that way, and so like.

405
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,560
Speaker 1: That that bothered.

406
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:51,440
Speaker 3: Me because he's really not a disrespectful guy and any capacity,

407
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:52,440
Speaker 3: and he really hasn't been.

408
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,000
Speaker 1: And it's me, like, I have my own issues.

409
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:58,199
Speaker 3: That I have to figure out about monogamy, about my body,

410
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:01,760
Speaker 3: about my pussy, about what I like my like is

411
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,400
Speaker 3: it just that I'd like to have sex and I'm like, eh,

412
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,680
Speaker 3: let's see it, like let's just do it, or I'm

413
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,040
Speaker 3: drinking or whatever, or is it is it something deeper

414
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:09,280
Speaker 3: than that?

415
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:09,639
Speaker 1: You know?

416
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:12,399
Speaker 3: And I've said that before on the show, like I

417
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:16,199
Speaker 3: think we can be powerful women and be liberal and

418
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,960
Speaker 3: be free and.

419
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,960
Speaker 1: And sometimes the truth is there do be a fine nigga.

420
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,960
Speaker 1: You just want to fucking keep it moving. That is

421
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,600
Speaker 1: Actually that's true, that happens.

422
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:29,920
Speaker 3: But sometimes when it's a it's an habitual, habitual thing

423
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,520
Speaker 3: that you do all the time. You at some point

424
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:34,480
Speaker 3: as a woman, when you're as you're growing, as you're

425
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,640
Speaker 3: healing from trauma, you have to acknowledge if there's something

426
00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:38,240
Speaker 3: deeper than that.

427
00:18:38,359 --> 00:18:41,560
Speaker 1: Are you trying to fill a void with people with sex?

428
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,400
Speaker 3: Are you trying to avoid something in you know, in yourself,

429
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,600
Speaker 3: or are you trying to get validated in some way

430
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,119
Speaker 3: even if it's like the thing is, even if it's

431
00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:51,200
Speaker 3: people you don't even really care about getting validation from,

432
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:53,880
Speaker 3: you know, Is it filling my ego in some way?

433
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,040
Speaker 3: Does it make me feel good even if it's not

434
00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:59,280
Speaker 3: like physically I'm coming, but like just to feel wanted,

435
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,320
Speaker 3: even if it's I'm periary because I realize I have

436
00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:05,520
Speaker 3: an issue with like I want to kind of I'm

437
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,240
Speaker 3: just realizing this now because I'm high and I'm talking

438
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:12,960
Speaker 3: like inflicting pain on myself. You're like a masochist, Yeah,

439
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:13,439
Speaker 3: Like if.

440
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:17,520
Speaker 1: I do it to myself, then you can't hurt me.

441
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:22,080
Speaker 3: I can hurt I'd rather hurt myself than like so

442
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,600
Speaker 3: when I don't, I don't know, does.

443
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:24,080
Speaker 1: That even make sense.

444
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:27,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it doesn't make sense. Absolutely, That's what a

445
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:27,800
Speaker 2: masochist is.

446
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,160
Speaker 4: And like if somehow it feels like you're lessening the blow, right, right,

447
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:34,720
Speaker 4: I already did it, nigad, Right, I already know what

448
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:35,200
Speaker 4: I'm doing.

449
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:36,440
Speaker 2: I did it to myself.

450
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,560
Speaker 4: You didn't get here first, right, right, And it's almost

451
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,080
Speaker 4: like that it's because I've had that, Like don't you.

452
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,600
Speaker 1: Ever think that you had that capability? Right?

453
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:45,679
Speaker 4: And but it's kind of it is kind of sad

454
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,200
Speaker 4: because you're like, because I've already done it to myself, right,

455
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:48,560
Speaker 4: And I.

456
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,119
Speaker 2: Think that goes back to like it's sad because we

457
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,240
Speaker 2: all do it. We all hurt ourselves constantly.

458
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,200
Speaker 4: We do things and we make mistakes that we don't

459
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,040
Speaker 4: know why, and like we're trying to work through our

460
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:58,360
Speaker 4: traumas and like you.

461
00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:00,639
Speaker 2: Said, like there is a there's a but there is

462
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,560
Speaker 2: it's possible to be a.

463
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:07,000
Speaker 4: Liberated woman and have sex and casual sex, but there's

464
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,680
Speaker 4: also possibility that there's trauma intertwined within that.

465
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:10,560
Speaker 1: And there's both.

466
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,320
Speaker 3: And I think it just as we grow, we have

467
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,600
Speaker 3: to start kind of filtering it out. And what I

468
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,879
Speaker 3: will say, like, hands down, without a doubt, one hundred

469
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:25,080
Speaker 3: and four hundred thousand percent. I as an adult, thirty

470
00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:29,680
Speaker 3: two year old woman, thirty two year old woman, I.

471
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,560
Speaker 1: Have taken and am in a place where I am

472
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:31,200
Speaker 1: taking a.

473
00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:35,720
Speaker 3: Really long time to learn lessons that I already know

474
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:39,120
Speaker 3: the answers to, like a really long time, like fuck

475
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,920
Speaker 3: up after fuck up after fuck up after fuck up

476
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,359
Speaker 3: after fuck up, to the point where it's like I

477
00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:47,760
Speaker 3: won't even tell Erica, I won't even say shits to

478
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,480
Speaker 3: Erica because I know I've fucked up.

479
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:52,840
Speaker 1: I know I shouldn't be fucking with this person.

480
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:57,720
Speaker 3: I know I'm ashamed and I'm still suck in these

481
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,639
Speaker 3: toxic cycles. And I think it's even worse that I

482
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,080
Speaker 3: talk about it every week. Then I am aware and

483
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:08,120
Speaker 3: that I just for some reason, there's things that I girl, you.

484
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 1: Know, like I be fucking up, and I'm like you are,

485
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,480
Speaker 1: You're human, just.

486
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,399
Speaker 2: Because you talk about it every week, And like I know,

487
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 2: sometimes we talk about like feeling like we have this

488
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:20,160
Speaker 2: responsibility because we do talk about our shit every week,

489
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,560
Speaker 2: and like we're supposed to like be working on shit.

490
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:25,600
Speaker 2: But guess what, motherfucker, like we are just we're human too.

491
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:30,240
Speaker 4: I be fucking up too. You know, and like it's okay,

492
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,000
Speaker 4: it's okay. It's not okay, And I get that. You

493
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,320
Speaker 4: have to accept that too. You have to understand that too.

494
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 1: It's not okay.

495
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:37,359
Speaker 2: It can't be okay.

496
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:41,479
Speaker 4: But like, no one loves you any less, like I

497
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,399
Speaker 4: love you no matter what give me. I love you

498
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 4: no matter what, whether you tell me or not, whether

499
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 4: you're not ready to or whether you never ever fucking

500
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:52,240
Speaker 4: tell me. I don't care, and you're not alone, and

501
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:53,760
Speaker 4: you're going to be okay.

502
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:57,239
Speaker 1: I know. It's just I'm getting frustrated with myself, you know.

503
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 1: And I know I'm not the only one in the

504
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:02,520
Speaker 1: world making the same bad.

505
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 3: Decision over and over and over again. But I'm like,

506
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:09,119
Speaker 3: what the fuck is the problem? Why do I lack

507
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:13,119
Speaker 3: the discipline to make better decisions for myself?

508
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 1: You know?

509
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:18,320
Speaker 3: And because at the end of the day, like it

510
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 3: does affect me, And even if I do this shit

511
00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:22,920
Speaker 3: a hundred times, I'm still affected by And I think

512
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 3: it's more frustrating because I can't figure out what the

513
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 3: fuck is the problem?

514
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:32,320
Speaker 1: Bitch? Why won't you just stop? It's frustrating for me?

515
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,280
Speaker 3: Like you, I can give advice to any of my

516
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,639
Speaker 3: friends and say this is crazy, this is wrong. I

517
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:40,640
Speaker 3: you know, it's easy to judge somebody else, but when

518
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:44,200
Speaker 3: it's you, I don't know, Like I want to be gentle,

519
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 3: like we're supposed to be gentle with ourselves, but also

520
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:47,400
Speaker 3: it's like, bitch, what the fuck are you doing?

521
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:52,120
Speaker 1: It's like a strange it's a strange like it's a.

522
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 2: Strange place to be.

523
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,680
Speaker 4: And when you're that self aware, you know, yeah, you think.

524
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 4: You just have to think about what happens in those

525
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 4: moments that you make those decisions like what what do

526
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,800
Speaker 4: you What is it that you're you say to yourself?

527
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 4: What is the conversation you have or don't have?

528
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,199
Speaker 2: What is like?

529
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:09,159
Speaker 1: Where? What do you?

530
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:11,639
Speaker 4: What your what is your mental state? Like are you

531
00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 4: drunk during that time? Are you smoking weed during that?

532
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 4: Like these are all things you have to pick apart,

533
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,760
Speaker 4: you know what I mean. And it's like you have

534
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 4: to then make decisions based on that, like not the

535
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:27,879
Speaker 4: overall thing, but like, yeah, I mean, I don't know,

536
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 4: I'm not a fucking therapist. That's the only way. That's

537
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,160
Speaker 4: the only thing I could think of is like me too,

538
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 4: because I know I've done stuff repeatedly that have taken

539
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:36,560
Speaker 4: me time to learn.

540
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:43,240
Speaker 2: I think you know, you are.

541
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:51,719
Speaker 4: So loving and you are so forgiving, even though you

542
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,200
Speaker 4: act like you're not. You act like you're not forgiving,

543
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 4: and you'll cut a bitch off. You are one of

544
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:59,239
Speaker 4: the most forgiving people I've ever met. You have like

545
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:03,120
Speaker 4: a heart of and I think it's like you have

546
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 4: to like work on the forgiveness of yourself and not

547
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 4: putting so much forgiveness in other people and allowing them to,

548
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:15,159
Speaker 4: you know, have that power over you, whatever it is.

549
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,960
Speaker 4: I mean, only you know what it is. And I

550
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:23,760
Speaker 4: know I know what that's like, you know, people having

551
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:29,119
Speaker 4: that capacity over you. And it feels like, how do

552
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,919
Speaker 4: you how I'm in I can't control myself here in

553
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,400
Speaker 4: this space. I can do it here and here and here,

554
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:35,920
Speaker 4: but here I can't.

555
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 3: It's I'm just like and then it's not like there

556
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:46,439
Speaker 3: haven't been consequences, you know there are. And I'm like,

557
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,440
Speaker 3: why am I not learning from these mistakes over and over?

558
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:51,879
Speaker 3: Why am I putting my body through this? Why am

559
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 3: I putting my soul through this? My feelings going up

560
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 3: and down? Why am I doing this? And I can't,

561
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 3: for the fucking I can't figure it out. I mean obviously,

562
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 3: I just have to be better. There's just like a

563
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 3: point where you just decide you're going to be better,

564
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 3: but you.

565
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:12,200
Speaker 2: Have to start believing, like treating maybe the the traumas

566
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,639
Speaker 2: of men and people making you feel that maybe you

567
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:19,400
Speaker 2: are worthless is what it is. You feel like you'll.

568
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 4: Be okay, I'm fine, Like my body's fine, this is fine.

569
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:26,720
Speaker 4: You're not valuing and putting all of that into yourself

570
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:30,160
Speaker 4: because some part of you believes it, you know.

571
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:33,439
Speaker 3: And maybe even like having a partner who maybe believed

572
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 3: it or did it, it was.

573
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 2: Too much for you. You wanted him to unvalidate you. Be

574
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 2: like all of them. You're just all of them are

575
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:40,400
Speaker 2: the same.

576
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,440
Speaker 3: There's no way you can't be like everybody else because

577
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:50,919
Speaker 3: that doesn't exist. I don't know, but I had a roughbeacond,

578
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:52,760
Speaker 3: and you know what, I guess I haven't been dumped

579
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 3: lately or in a long time because.

580
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 1: This wasn't fun.

581
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 3: It's not fun being sad or feeling like, you know,

582
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,960
Speaker 3: like you you fuck something up that was a good

583
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 3: thing and I hurt somebody, and that you know, I

584
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:07,920
Speaker 3: never want to I don't want to hurt. Well.

585
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that you've had a hard weekend.

586
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 4: But I know that you know your I'm seeing the

587
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:18,919
Speaker 4: changes that you're making. You have made changes. Don't be

588
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 4: so hard on yourself.

589
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 2: You have, I mean there's things, but like you have.

590
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 3: I mean, I've I'm a come a long way from

591
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 3: maybe two years ago, even if I'm still fucking up

592
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:31,359
Speaker 3: a lot.

593
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,040
Speaker 4: I think, I think if I'm gonna be honest, I

594
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 4: think one of your mistakes that you made in this

595
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:38,640
Speaker 4: thing is thinking that he wouldn't accept you for all

596
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:42,800
Speaker 4: of you and like being totally honest with like everything

597
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 4: that you that you actually really I think need if

598
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 4: you're gonna be a relationship, the space and the things

599
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 4: that you need, and not that he didn't give you space,

600
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 4: but I felt like he was down. He's teased down

601
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,680
Speaker 4: to like take whatever you throw at him. And I

602
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 4: think sometimes you get scared.

603
00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:02,359
Speaker 1: And you have no reason to be like you are.

604
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:05,959
Speaker 4: Amazing at your full capacity, like even the things that

605
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:07,960
Speaker 4: you want and the way that you might need to

606
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 4: view relationships and how you really view relationships, and that

607
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 4: could be like a scary conversation when you're with someone

608
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:17,159
Speaker 4: that maybe doesn't want that right you know, but it's like, no,

609
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 4: this is what works for me, and like that I feel,

610
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:24,240
Speaker 4: I don't know, you have to give people the opportunity.

611
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:28,879
Speaker 4: You can't just give them half and then expect different results.

612
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:33,880
Speaker 4: You know how parent hood forces you.

613
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:37,439
Speaker 2: You can't run away anymore. You can, you could, but

614
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 2: you won't and I know you, and I know you can't.

615
00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:39,800
Speaker 2: You won't.

616
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,520
Speaker 4: You have to just put yourself first and think about too,

617
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:46,119
Speaker 4: you know, like what kind of change you want for

618
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:49,160
Speaker 4: Luna too, because I feel like you know you are

619
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 4: you're very much like your parents' daughter, you know, but

620
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:53,920
Speaker 4: you're self aware of it, but you are. You do

621
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 4: repeat some of the shit they do, I know, like

622
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 4: everybody else, you know, me to me included, I do

623
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:01,520
Speaker 4: shit where I'm like, oh my god, that is exactly

624
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:03,880
Speaker 4: like my mom. And that's my least favorite thing about her,

625
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:04,720
Speaker 4: you know, m.

626
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:09,800
Speaker 2: You know, so, I don't know.

627
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:14,679
Speaker 4: I think you just have to eliminate the You have

628
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 4: to just I tell you, like, one thing at a time.

629
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 4: Just eliminate one thing at a time. It's like you

630
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 4: don't have to be change all these things immediately. And

631
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 4: what I was saying is just like the honesty thing,

632
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 4: like you're so honest. Look at you, like right here, like,

633
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 4: you know, we've done this thing every week because of honesty,

634
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 4: Like people you know, relate to this shit right here

635
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 4: because of honesty, Like you have the capacity to be

636
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,240
Speaker 4: totally and completely honest. You just have to know that,

637
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 4: Like you're not gonna leave because of that. I will

638
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 4: leave though if you're not.

639
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:48,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do think I have some attachment issues or

640
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 3: abandonment issues or whatever the fuck whatever way, but I

641
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 3: I even noticed because me, okay, so I told Eric

642
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:56,080
Speaker 3: at this, but me and my mom got into an

643
00:28:56,200 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 3: argument in front of Luna. Me we gotta have an

644
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 3: interesting relationship. But we got into a fight in front

645
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 3: of Luna and she was cursing me out basically in

646
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:12,400
Speaker 3: front of Luna, like get the fuck out of.

647
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,640
Speaker 1: My car, fuck you bitch.

648
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:18,040
Speaker 3: And Luna was in the back seat like turning up

649
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 3: Like I just got quiet because I realized she was

650
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 3: driving a little erratic. My kid was in the car,

651
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 3: and I wasn't about to win. I was just like,

652
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 3: let me get to where we're about to go and

653
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 3: let me get out. So I wasn't really saying much,

654
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 3: but I noticed my ghetto ass baby and the back seat.

655
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 1: Was like my mom stopped talking to my mom like

656
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 1: that be quiet. My mom start arguing and.

657
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 3: She was like turned up, like completely turned up like

658
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:45,480
Speaker 3: I was.

659
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 1: She was yelling at my mom and I.

660
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:48,479
Speaker 3: Wasn't even really yelling, and I was like, this is

661
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 3: absolutely insane. So we get out the car and I

662
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 3: get in the elevator and I start crying because it

663
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 3: was just a lot in like a ten minute period.

664
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 3: You know, me and my mom have a very up

665
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 3: and down relationship. There's issues that she needs to do with,

666
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 3: even to the point where I'm like, I don't should

667
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 3: I cut her off? Like should I? Should I? Can

668
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 3: I not be around her? Can I not let my

669
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 3: baby be around her? Because it's so unpredictable, Like this

670
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 3: is not okay.

671
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 1: And I was.

672
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 3: Crying in the elevator and Luna was like surprise, like

673
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 3: why are you crying? Like hugging me, but she was

674
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 3: so unfazed by this entire exchange. It was so like

675
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,239
Speaker 3: to her like yay, I'm a customer, Grandma out, I'm

676
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 3: gonna get out and we're gonna keep going about the day.

677
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh my god, this is crazy.

678
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,640
Speaker 3: Like my parents fought a lot growing up. I saw

679
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 3: that a lot, to the point where when I turn

680
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 3: eighteen and I moved to Atlanta, I was like, don't

681
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,480
Speaker 3: fucking call me. I was like, I was counting down

682
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,960
Speaker 3: the school months when I was about to move. I'm like,

683
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:48,560
Speaker 3: I can't wait to get the I was telling them,

684
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:49,960
Speaker 3: I can't wait to get the fuckup out of here.

685
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 3: So for to see my daughter do play very easily

686
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 3: into the same kind of like normal normalcy.

687
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 1: It scared me, it did.

688
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 3: And then like I was upset and like that's another thing,

689
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:07,320
Speaker 3: like I can talk, but I don't like to talk

690
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,360
Speaker 3: about my own shit. I feel like I haven't been

691
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,960
Speaker 3: taught to talk about shit like that, Like like it's

692
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,200
Speaker 3: so it's so personal. It's my family. You don't talk

693
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 3: about your family. You don't talk about those type of

694
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 3: personal things, and like you just keep it pushing. So

695
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 3: I called Erica and like talk to her for a minute,

696
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 3: and then I had I called adventure Bay. I called

697
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 3: my boyfriend because I was like, Okay, that's what you're

698
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:31,160
Speaker 3: supposed to do when you're upset, right, and then whatever,

699
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 3: he's like, you know, later that night, hours later, we

700
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 3: went out, we went to chill and he picked me

701
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 3: up and he like he's like, oh, I got a

702
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:41,640
Speaker 3: some liquor. Let's go to the park and you'll talk

703
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 3: for a little bit. And immediately I was like, fuck,

704
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 3: he's gonna want to talk about this shit that I

705
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 3: told him about, and I got anxiety and I was

706
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 3: like this nigga always want to talk. But it was

707
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 3: just me, like I didn't want to talk about my

708
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,240
Speaker 3: personal shit. I don't want to be crying and being

709
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 3: on emo about like family shit.

710
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:01,760
Speaker 1: You know, that's immediately how I felt.

711
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 3: I felt like ugh, and I even projected it, like

712
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 3: as if he was the emotional one, and I like,

713
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 3: I was annoyed.

714
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 1: And when I got to the park, I knew he

715
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 1: was about to ask me.

716
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:13,600
Speaker 3: He's like, so tell me about your day, because that's

717
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:17,080
Speaker 3: the kind of nigga. He is, like a very nigga

718
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 3: who wants to be a part of your life and

719
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 3: know what's going on, you know, like a good one.

720
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 1: So I was like wow. I was like, let me

721
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 1: tell you. I'm really feeling anxiety.

722
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,040
Speaker 3: You have this conversation, I don't really want to talk

723
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 3: about it, and he's like okay, and I was like,

724
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 3: I know I told you earlier this happened, so it

725
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 3: doesn't make a lot of sense. But I'm realizing I

726
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 3: have I'm having anxiety talking about like opening up about

727
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 3: this like very personal shit to me.

728
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 1: And I'm that way, Like we could talk here all

729
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:41,239
Speaker 1: the time, and I do.

730
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 3: We get very honest, but there's a lot of shit,

731
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 3: you don't know what going on between and Ericas and

732
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:46,360
Speaker 3: I was live, like we got a lot of shit,

733
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:49,680
Speaker 3: like it could look it sound cool, but there's still

734
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 3: so much shit. We're all human, we're both human, and

735
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 3: so I was just like I even with Erica, like

736
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 3: as much as we see each other every day and

737
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 3: all the time and we're best friends, we've only been

738
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 3: best friends for like two and a half years, as

739
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 3: long as the podcast has existed, and even times like

740
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,480
Speaker 3: it's taken, you know, as much as I've opened up

741
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:11,000
Speaker 3: to Erica in a short period of time, it's taken

742
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 3: us to be hanging out every fucking day for that

743
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:17,320
Speaker 3: to happen, right like, because I don't feel comfortable doing that.

744
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 3: And so I just realize there's a lot of shit

745
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 3: that needs to be healed, and that it will inevitably

746
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:27,400
Speaker 3: bleed over to my seed or whatever, to my offspring

747
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 3: if I don't correct it now.

748
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 1: And so it's becoming more urgent where I think in your.

749
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 3: Twenties, you're like can you could just keep doing going

750
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 3: in cycles without really questioning it, But when you physically

751
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:41,400
Speaker 3: see somebody else absorbing that toxicity, you're like, oh, fuck,

752
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 3: Like am I what am I doing?

753
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:44,720
Speaker 1: How can I stop this?

754
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:49,720
Speaker 3: And even like this is long, So even right before

755
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 3: all this stuff I got broken up with, he had

756
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 3: made a comment to me after I've told him about this.

757
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 1: He was just like, you know, about our future and

758
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:57,200
Speaker 1: about like.

759
00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 3: Really hoping that we can create an environment that will,

760
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 3: you know, continue the pattern of trauma that we've both

761
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 3: experienced in our family life.

762
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 1: And I never had a nigga say that to me.

763
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:11,839
Speaker 3: I've never even had a partner who was like like

764
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 3: in tune enough to say that, And that you know,

765
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 3: meant a lot to me at that time. But I

766
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,719
Speaker 3: think and all honestly, it just also scares the shit

767
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:21,520
Speaker 3: out of me. Someone who's serious and real and seems

768
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,160
Speaker 3: like there's a potential for it to be like Wow,

769
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 3: there's really nothing wrong with this person. It's very very scary,

770
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:30,160
Speaker 3: and I just think I got scared, and I've been

771
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 3: scared and I've been looking for a reason to fuck

772
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 3: it up. I've been looking for a reason to say

773
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 3: there's something wrong, like he doesn't travel the same way

774
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:40,399
Speaker 3: as me, he sends too many links, whatever the fuck,

775
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:43,120
Speaker 3: crazy shit I pull out of the sky or whatever

776
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:45,879
Speaker 3: like it could be because it's like something in my gut,

777
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,239
Speaker 3: or it's something that I need to work on, like

778
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:52,759
Speaker 3: just being okay with being in a space for someone

779
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 3: where it's actually healthy, you know. And so I have

780
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,120
Speaker 3: a lot of work to do, and that's why I

781
00:34:58,160 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 3: need to call better help.

782
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:02,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, have you been talking about her?

783
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 4: Hope?

784
00:35:03,239 --> 00:35:05,080
Speaker 3: No, I took a break, but I need to go

785
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:08,719
Speaker 3: back because clearly I have issues that I need to

786
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 3: work on and that I'm happy that I said this

787
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:15,399
Speaker 3: today that I have problems talking about myself because even

788
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:19,280
Speaker 3: in therapy, I find myself like kind of like talking

789
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 3: like I can I can therapize myself like I'm rational

790
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:22,879
Speaker 3: as fuck.

791
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,440
Speaker 1: I'm not smart. I'm rational though, so.

792
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 3: A lot of them, but a lot like a lot

793
00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:32,120
Speaker 3: of times I can I can feel myself being guarded

794
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 3: in certain places saying shit but not really saying it

795
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,359
Speaker 3: because it feels too emotional. So I just I think

796
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 3: I have to just reapproach my life with a different

797
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 3: set of like skills and applying myself and really being

798
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:47,799
Speaker 3: vulnerable and really being like really not giving a fuck,

799
00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:50,839
Speaker 3: you know, really not giving a fuck, being able to

800
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:54,000
Speaker 3: like unhinge and like unravel and just being like this

801
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:56,600
Speaker 3: is it. Like sorry, sorry, Like this is where I'm

802
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 3: at right now. Like it's not the best, it's not

803
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:02,520
Speaker 3: my best, but like I'm going through a transition, which

804
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 3: is really hard for me to say, because I have,

805
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:07,280
Speaker 3: like we all have expectations of ourselves where we should

806
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:09,239
Speaker 3: be and where we're gonna what we're gonna do, and

807
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:11,440
Speaker 3: what amount of time. And I'm this age and I

808
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 3: have a baby, so I should definitely have this or

809
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:17,000
Speaker 3: my friends have this. Everybody on Instagram has a fucking husband,

810
00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 3: is on baby number two, and everybody seems to be

811
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 3: rich and I don't know how because LA's house buying houses?

812
00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 1: Everybody? How's everyone buying houses?

813
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, who is money to buy houses?

814
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 1: What do you do?

815
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:27,399
Speaker 2: How when?

816
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 1: Like where what my friends talk?

817
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 3: My friends talk about buying houses like oh, well it's

818
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 3: one point a and like.

819
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:41,400
Speaker 1: One point eight thousand? What the fuck? Where do I?

820
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 1: Why do I live here? Why did I come here?

821
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:47,279
Speaker 3: What am I gonna do here, Like honestly, it gives

822
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:51,880
Speaker 3: me anxiety, and so I'm just sorry this is a ram.

823
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 4: No, but I no, I think that you just figured

824
00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:58,040
Speaker 4: out what you need to do. I think that's really

825
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:04,319
Speaker 4: like you just need to start talking more. But like honestly, yes, yes, yes,

826
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:06,400
Speaker 4: not talking about a problem.

827
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 1: Talking no problem talking no, And like that's.

828
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 4: The practice right there, Like when someone asks you how

829
00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:16,560
Speaker 4: you're doing and you're not okay, not being like I'm good,

830
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 4: grom fine, Like really, if someone's asking, it's because they

831
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:21,319
Speaker 4: want to they want to make sure, and like maybe

832
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 4: you don't feel comfortable with telling that specific person, but

833
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,239
Speaker 4: don't feel that way with everybody. Give people the chance

834
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:29,960
Speaker 4: to help you and to like be there for you

835
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:33,480
Speaker 4: and support you and show up for you.

836
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:34,800
Speaker 1: That's also really hard for me.

837
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:36,400
Speaker 3: When he was trying to like help me, I was

838
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:38,440
Speaker 3: just like it's okay, like and I don't need that,

839
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 3: you know.

840
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:40,400
Speaker 1: Like I wouldn't.

841
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:42,800
Speaker 3: I don't want to ask. It's hard for me to accept.

842
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 3: It's hard for me to be like I'm vulnerable, I'm

843
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:46,440
Speaker 3: fucked up right now. Like it's hard for me to

844
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:48,080
Speaker 3: say those things. And I think it's a lot because

845
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:49,799
Speaker 3: in my family, Like it's like this.

846
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 1: Is our business.

847
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:52,920
Speaker 3: You know, you don't tell your business, Like these are

848
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 3: things like to me like make me.

849
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 1: Look weak or feel weak even saying.

850
00:37:57,239 --> 00:37:59,279
Speaker 3: But the truth is, like we're human and there's going

851
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,000
Speaker 3: to be ups and there's going to be downs, and

852
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 3: like that's just life. And just like I'm always happy,

853
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:10,959
Speaker 3: though I'm generally a happy person, Like my circumstances doesn't

854
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 3: really equate my happiness, but like sometimes I am super

855
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:16,279
Speaker 3: emotional and I want to get out of bed, and

856
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 3: I'm like lazy and I'm not doing the things I

857
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 3: know I need to do because.

858
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:20,879
Speaker 1: There's probably shit I need to work through.

859
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:26,680
Speaker 4: And that you had like a very intense few weeks girl,

860
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,320
Speaker 4: like you know with your the thing with your mom,

861
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 4: and you know, just there's underlying things happening and you

862
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 4: just have to start checking things off the list and

863
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 4: giving your releasing the pressure of certain things. And if

864
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:42,719
Speaker 4: that means like taking a break from your mom, then

865
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:44,800
Speaker 4: do that. You know what I mean, She's always to

866
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 4: me your mother, but like you, sometimes you have to

867
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,400
Speaker 4: set boundaries and sometimes it's with your parents and like

868
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 4: as a parent, now, like that scares the fuck.

869
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:52,319
Speaker 2: Out of me.

870
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,480
Speaker 4: But like I'd rather do that than Luna said a

871
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:57,799
Speaker 4: boundary with you later because you didn't do the work

872
00:38:57,840 --> 00:38:58,399
Speaker 4: you had to do.

873
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 1: Imagine that. Imagine how that would feel, you know.

874
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 4: And I think I think being honest and vulnerable and whatever,

875
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 4: whether that's with therapy, with me, with whoever you feel

876
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:12,919
Speaker 4: comfortable with, and do that.

877
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:14,400
Speaker 2: You have to talk for things. Do you see how

878
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 2: much you just talked through right now, and like you

879
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:18,399
Speaker 2: have to do that.

880
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:20,319
Speaker 1: I guess at the end of the day, like we

881
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:23,160
Speaker 1: could all be scared of being judged.

882
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:26,080
Speaker 3: I mean we all are to some capacity scared of

883
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:28,840
Speaker 3: being judged, scared to be looked at a certain way,

884
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 3: or you know, someone be able to say something negative

885
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 3: about you. But at the end of the day, like

886
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 3: everybody goes through shit, so the same person casting judgment

887
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 3: has their own shit going on all the time.

888
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:44,799
Speaker 1: You know, there's nobody out here doing perfect, No, absolutely not.

889
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 3: And I think, you know, we're in such an age

890
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 3: of social media where it literally does look like everybody

891
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:51,640
Speaker 3: else is doing perfect.

892
00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 1: And like we live like we grew up in the valley.

893
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 1: Most of my friends are doing.

894
00:39:56,200 --> 00:40:00,720
Speaker 3: Pretty well because they have safety debts, they have their parents,

895
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 3: they have you know, businesses that were given to them,

896
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 3: or opportunities like you know, for them to figure out

897
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 3: what their lane is or what they're gonna do, or

898
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:10,080
Speaker 3: you've you've you've had a net to be like, well,

899
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 3: I'm gonna try this, so I'm gonna try.

900
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:12,880
Speaker 1: That where a lot of people don't.

901
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:15,160
Speaker 3: And when I like living in an environment where all

902
00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 3: of my friends have these that set up, it's like, fuck,

903
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:21,680
Speaker 3: I'm so far behind or you know, my like.

904
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:22,160
Speaker 2: But you're not.

905
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:24,799
Speaker 4: But you're not because take all that in mind, that

906
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:27,600
Speaker 4: where would they be with all that, all that, all

907
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 4: those things.

908
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:31,759
Speaker 3: Well that's just why like social media fucking la its

909
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:32,840
Speaker 3: shit is so fake.

910
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:35,279
Speaker 1: You know, the shit is not real. It's not realistic.

911
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:38,440
Speaker 1: Like we're all out here struggling.

912
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 3: In something, you know, like whether it be finances, Like

913
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:43,120
Speaker 3: I'm like, we all hope to be better and we're

914
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:46,840
Speaker 3: all growing. But you can't compare yourself to other people,

915
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 3: and you can't expect for everybody to understand where you're at.

916
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,759
Speaker 3: You can't expect for everyone to understand your circumstances or

917
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:57,839
Speaker 3: where you're at, because some people really don't understand because

918
00:40:57,840 --> 00:40:59,319
Speaker 3: they're not in that situation at all.

919
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 1: And so it's just like keeping all that in mind, those.

920
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:06,880
Speaker 2: Might be the people that maybe you don't like.

921
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:09,279
Speaker 4: I mean, I think you need to constantly communicate and

922
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 4: open up, but like I just feel like sometimes maybe

923
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:14,440
Speaker 4: you open up to people that you feel like you

924
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:16,399
Speaker 4: can't relate and you don't get like you don't get

925
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:20,239
Speaker 4: really the feedback that you need or that you're expecting,

926
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 4: and then it turns you off and wanting to talk

927
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 4: it all again. And then it sets you off and

928
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 4: you're like, yeah, yeah, I never mind.

929
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:28,160
Speaker 2: That's why I don't tell people shit, right, you know,

930
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:31,440
Speaker 2: right right. So finding those people that you feel comfortable

931
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 2: sharing those.

932
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 3: Things with, well, well I kind of even felt like

933
00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:35,719
Speaker 3: I wanted to feel that way, and I know it's

934
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 3: my own self sabotage. Like like I said, with like Adventure Bay,

935
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:40,239
Speaker 3: I wanted to be like, oh yeah, I knew it.

936
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:42,920
Speaker 3: Like see, I started opening up and like you know,

937
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 3: and like I've been in between places.

938
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:47,359
Speaker 1: I was staying with my mom. Me and my mom

939
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:48,319
Speaker 1: don't get along well.

940
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 3: And that's been like very heavy burden on me because

941
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:53,560
Speaker 3: I do have a kid, because that's.

942
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 1: Not where any mom wants to be.

943
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:59,239
Speaker 3: But then at the end of this conversation with him,

944
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:01,799
Speaker 3: He's like, do you want me to help you get

945
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:02,320
Speaker 3: your stuff?

946
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:03,800
Speaker 1: You know I had stuff there.

947
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:05,000
Speaker 3: Like not a whole bunch of shit are kind of

948
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:07,520
Speaker 3: but so I'm like collecting my stuff. My Stacy came

949
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 3: to get me. Thank you Stacy for being a writer.

950
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 3: She's like, be there in fifteen. Do I need to fight?

951
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:12,200
Speaker 2: Yes?

952
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:15,879
Speaker 1: Yes, say I love that bitch took my massage table

953
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:19,359
Speaker 1: from him, like put it in the backseat. Oh man.

954
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:20,919
Speaker 1: But like I just was like.

955
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 3: Getting comfortable and having stuff so many places I should

956
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:27,640
Speaker 3: at Airca's house, I got you had a mama's house.

957
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 3: I got shit everywhere. My shit is everywhere. I probably

958
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 3: have a suitcase in five places right now, honestly. But

959
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:37,840
Speaker 3: like collecting my shit and putting it in my friend's

960
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 3: car was like I was like having some kind of

961
00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:43,239
Speaker 3: even though I know all of this shit I brought

962
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:46,440
Speaker 3: upon myself every single thing that happened, like I'm not

963
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 3: not taking your responssibility.

964
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:48,359
Speaker 1: But then like.

965
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 3: Almost that was not satisfying, but like sadly satisfying because

966
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:56,760
Speaker 3: it's just like I knew I couldn't.

967
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:59,160
Speaker 6: Be comfortable here, and you know, like I know, like

968
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:01,080
Speaker 6: I need to stop but then being picked up like

969
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:04,080
Speaker 6: a baby thing from the mushrooms, but like just getting

970
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 6: comfortable in places, and then feeling like you're not.

971
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:09,960
Speaker 1: Comfortable, like you can't be comfortable, you can't be.

972
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 2: Like there you go again.

973
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:13,560
Speaker 1: You can't be vulnerable, you can't be just like I'm

974
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:18,840
Speaker 1: fucked up right now, you know, And it hurt me.

975
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:23,320
Speaker 3: And I know it's selfish because I know I hurt him,

976
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 3: but it was just I don't know, I have issues

977
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:30,400
Speaker 3: and I need to call the therapist, you know, I

978
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:32,760
Speaker 3: think it's but it's self inflicting.

979
00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:33,400
Speaker 1: I know it is.

980
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 4: No but you know what, all these things happened. They

981
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:37,359
Speaker 4: had to these things.

982
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:40,640
Speaker 2: It had to happen, Mila, like that all this should

983
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 2: had to happen. You haven't been hurt and been hurting

984
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:45,720
Speaker 2: like this and acknowledging it in a really long time.

985
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:48,600
Speaker 2: So like this is.

986
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:50,719
Speaker 1: All crying like all the time, and it was a

987
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:51,239
Speaker 1: fuck good.

988
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 4: It's because your body can't hold attention anymore for you. Your

989
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:58,960
Speaker 4: body's like, no, bitch, there's no more space. Like the computer,

990
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:03,240
Speaker 4: there's no more capacity, is full of bit this full

991
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 4: must release eject eject yet.

992
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's why it's coming through our technology.

993
00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:11,040
Speaker 1: It's me.

994
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 2: I'm like you. The reasons for me.

995
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:17,319
Speaker 3: My phone is always full, both computers are always full.

996
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:22,520
Speaker 3: There's never time technology works smoothly because my my personal

997
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:24,279
Speaker 3: life is spilling over into our work.

998
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 2: I think.

999
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 4: Another good thing I want to challenge you to do

1000
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 4: is like I know you're gonna move soon, and I

1001
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:37,919
Speaker 4: need you to start consolidating. I mean, because it's gonna

1002
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,399
Speaker 4: be therapeutic. I'm just telling you, like I think one

1003
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 4: day I'll even help you, Like just bring all your

1004
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 4: shit here and let's go through it. Let's organize it

1005
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:48,239
Speaker 4: so that when you do move, it's not like you

1006
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:51,800
Speaker 4: bringing all this baggage A minimalist no, but like I

1007
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:53,719
Speaker 4: don't even want you to bring all those bags. I

1008
00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:56,279
Speaker 4: don't want you all those bags into your new place

1009
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,239
Speaker 4: for real. I really feel like there's a lot of

1010
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:00,680
Speaker 4: energy and all that stuff. I know, like we should

1011
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:02,839
Speaker 4: go through it and like we should sort it through,

1012
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:05,680
Speaker 4: wipe it off, put it in its place, so that

1013
00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:06,600
Speaker 4: when you're ready.

1014
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:08,800
Speaker 1: To move, you got it and it's.

1015
00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:13,080
Speaker 2: Minimal and it's easy and you're not starting somewhere stress out.

1016
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:14,319
Speaker 1: No, I'm not, I'm not.

1017
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:17,560
Speaker 4: I like, you just have to simplify ship and like

1018
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:20,240
Speaker 4: make take the pressure the things that you can control,

1019
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:22,279
Speaker 4: take control of them.

1020
00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:24,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I don't know why I have a problem

1021
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:24,399
Speaker 1: with that.

1022
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:27,200
Speaker 3: I'm I just I do, and I do. I know

1023
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:29,840
Speaker 3: I have to deal with ship head on and I don't.

1024
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:32,560
Speaker 3: That's a big problem with mine, and I just need

1025
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 3: to break it.

1026
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:38,680
Speaker 1: Yes, can you guys go in the other room or

1027
00:45:38,719 --> 00:45:46,320
Speaker 1: almost done me? Yeah, cut your shoulder, trying to frank

1028
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:48,400
Speaker 1: you guys a treat?

1029
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:57,920
Speaker 3: Thank yous are like little fairries.

1030
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:06,600
Speaker 1: And another thanks baby thanks. I gotta stop letting her

1031
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:10,720
Speaker 1: watch this. She just watches like these scripted like Disney shows.

1032
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 3: That the one first of all, Andrea Adrianna Grande what

1033
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 3: her name Ariana Grande used to be on it used

1034
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:17,799
Speaker 3: to be on a Disney show.

1035
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:18,680
Speaker 1: Oh, I remember that.

1036
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:21,239
Speaker 3: It's like a scriptive show. It's for older kids. But

1037
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:24,040
Speaker 3: she's like hey Jesse, Yeah, hey, it's like hey Jesse.

1038
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:26,960
Speaker 3: But La is mature, so she can fall along with

1039
00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:28,799
Speaker 3: she shouldn't be able fall on with and so she's

1040
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 3: like picking up shit.

1041
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:30,239
Speaker 1: And I don't like it.

1042
00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 4: They're not mature, they're just at their age. They're we

1043
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:36,759
Speaker 4: are just not acknowledging that they just understand more ship.

1044
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 2: We want it. We're ready for them to know.

1045
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:42,920
Speaker 3: And then we talked about the moms are like, okay, Jackie.

1046
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:44,680
Speaker 1: We're going to the park.

1047
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:47,279
Speaker 3: The guys, why, Jackie's gonna act like a kid much

1048
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 3: longer than these fucking brats.

1049
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:50,759
Speaker 2: Maybe we should have babied that.

1050
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:53,080
Speaker 1: We should have bathed them long. I should have spoon

1051
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 1: fed them until yesterday.

1052
00:46:57,440 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 2: Okay, well I know, I don't know.

1053
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:03,399
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go to therapy. I'm gonna go to better

1054
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:05,719
Speaker 3: help and schedule this. As soon as we get off

1055
00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 3: of this.

1056
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,360
Speaker 2: We're gonna organize your ship. I'm excited because you know

1057
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:09,240
Speaker 2: I love a project.

1058
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:13,440
Speaker 1: I'm met your Erica's project. No, not you, your stuff.

1059
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:15,720
Speaker 2: I'm gonna organize. We're gonna organize all that ship.

1060
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:18,239
Speaker 1: You probably have some cool ship you forgot you had

1061
00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:19,759
Speaker 1: that needs to be resurfaced.

1062
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 2: We probably have some ship you need to throw away

1063
00:47:21,560 --> 00:47:22,399
Speaker 2: and say.

1064
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:24,080
Speaker 1: You probably get some shit on marketplace to.

1065
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:26,759
Speaker 4: Oh my god, Oh my god, I'm putting everything on

1066
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:28,760
Speaker 4: my Facebook market Oh my god, I'm so so excited.

1067
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 1: My Facebook marketplace is pretty lit.

1068
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:35,319
Speaker 2: Did you want to read this?

1069
00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:39,560
Speaker 1: Horry just more? Oh my god, I had you know what,

1070
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:41,640
Speaker 1: I've just noticed. I want to tell that Horyna be

1071
00:47:41,719 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 1: so long.

1072
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:43,319
Speaker 3: So every time we said we're gonna have a short

1073
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:45,640
Speaker 3: episode and what just us, it's fucking long.

1074
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:47,279
Speaker 1: We never told this.

1075
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 3: Story about the birthday party and about she could forget Cogetter.

1076
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:55,160
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that was a good one.

1077
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:56,000
Speaker 1: Can we tell both?

1078
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1079
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:57,799
Speaker 1: Okay, horry time.

1080
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:04,160
Speaker 2: Who stories?

1081
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:12,480
Speaker 1: Okay, it's hoary time. Oh okay.

1082
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:15,560
Speaker 3: Also, my ex in the midst of this breakup told

1083
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:19,120
Speaker 3: me that I should look into voiceovers for animation porn.

1084
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:20,520
Speaker 1: Oh, And I.

1085
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:23,759
Speaker 3: Was like, I an argument, Like I don't know, I

1086
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:25,440
Speaker 3: don't know how this slid in there, But I.

1087
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:30,360
Speaker 1: Was like, how do you find those job listings? But

1088
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:35,560
Speaker 1: I was like, right, I should like the animate Oh okay.

1089
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:42,760
Speaker 3: Anyway, once upon a time, Erica and I early COVID,

1090
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:45,760
Speaker 3: went to our girlfriends. They are very rich bitch friends.

1091
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:49,560
Speaker 3: She had a very classy birthday party at a mansion

1092
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:52,120
Speaker 3: in Hollywood Hills, and she had like a very select

1093
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:55,240
Speaker 3: few of ten friends come for a private chef dinner.

1094
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:57,400
Speaker 1: And you know, we all got dressed up. It was COVID.

1095
00:48:57,400 --> 00:48:58,840
Speaker 1: No one had dressed up in a long time. I

1096
00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:01,280
Speaker 1: don't think we posted because we were scared. We were scared.

1097
00:49:01,560 --> 00:49:03,319
Speaker 3: We don't want anyone to shame us. We're going to

1098
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:10,040
Speaker 3: a ten person gathering that we went. So, you know,

1099
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:14,319
Speaker 3: we're sitting, we're having drinks and sent two is fucking

1100
00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:18,960
Speaker 3: candy in my mouth. Eric is on her our DMS

1101
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:21,799
Speaker 3: and she's like, we have a very special listener. We

1102
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:24,759
Speaker 3: do a very special listener. Like that's another thing. We

1103
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:28,360
Speaker 3: have a very special job. So we have different, like

1104
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:31,040
Speaker 3: very different friends, and they come in all different shapes

1105
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 3: and sizes. That's when like Adventure was looking through my DMS.

1106
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:35,480
Speaker 3: I was like, dude, you can't take any of that

1107
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:36,160
Speaker 3: shit seriously.

1108
00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 4: I know.

1109
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:39,120
Speaker 3: I'm like, I was like, I'm a dom in my DM.

1110
00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:43,239
Speaker 3: I'm a whole dom. I'm collecting cash apps as a

1111
00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:46,720
Speaker 3: dom in my DM. So like, you're gonna get really sidetracked.

1112
00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:48,640
Speaker 3: I'm telling me, I guess you could suck come out

1113
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 3: of all our pussies. Never just see them, you know whatever.

1114
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I hope that my real stub doesn't

1115
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:59,360
Speaker 3: hear that. Okay, So we have a special friend.

1116
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:01,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's in Atlanta. He's out Atlanta.

1117
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 3: We've met him like this point is fun point and

1118
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:06,399
Speaker 3: he has a nice ass Penis, Like.

1119
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:09,480
Speaker 1: Beautiful both beautiful, beautiful Penis.

1120
00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 4: I'm talking like eight and a half in me, like night,

1121
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:15,880
Speaker 4: it's growthy, it's nice, it's nine inches and a beautiful,

1122
00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:17,480
Speaker 4: Like shit is huge.

1123
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:20,000
Speaker 3: I haven't seen it lately. You're always getting him first.

1124
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:25,759
Speaker 3: Okay when you Okay, he just asked a request one.

1125
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:27,320
Speaker 2: He just sent me some stuff recently.

1126
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:29,440
Speaker 1: Okay, it's just so beautiful.

1127
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 3: Okay, anyway, anyway, I made it very beautiful, bougie private

1128
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:38,799
Speaker 3: chef dinner in the Hollywood Hills. Erica goes, oh, we

1129
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:42,360
Speaker 3: call him sugar, don't ask us why, Sugar. Her just

1130
00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:45,400
Speaker 3: DMed me and he wants he wants to meet. He

1131
00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:47,200
Speaker 3: wants to he wants me to see him come. But

1132
00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:49,200
Speaker 3: I told him I was with ten girls. So I

1133
00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:51,920
Speaker 3: asked him if we can all watch him come. So

1134
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:53,560
Speaker 3: we're like, yeah, good idea.

1135
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:56,560
Speaker 2: He's of course he's down because he's a voyeurist.

1136
00:50:56,719 --> 00:50:56,959
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1137
00:50:57,040 --> 00:50:59,200
Speaker 1: So she we FaceTime him.

1138
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:01,080
Speaker 4: But I didn't realize you this tep of artist. I

1139
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:03,320
Speaker 4: was very impressed and happy.

1140
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:05,280
Speaker 1: It was like the greatest save everybody's lives.

1141
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:10,600
Speaker 3: She uh facetimed, like I FaceTime Instagram FaceTime him and

1142
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 3: he's jacking jacking off his big beautiful dick, just jacking up,

1143
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:15,399
Speaker 3: and we're all passing the phone around.

1144
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:17,560
Speaker 4: And first of all, we're all at dinner dressed like

1145
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:18,840
Speaker 4: picturesque like dressed.

1146
00:51:19,239 --> 00:51:21,400
Speaker 2: It's so nice. No one's dressed this nice in like

1147
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:22,680
Speaker 2: five months.

1148
00:51:22,719 --> 00:51:25,440
Speaker 4: And we're at this beautiful house and we're all these

1149
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:29,000
Speaker 4: like horny bitches crouching around a fucking long table, a.

1150
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 3: Long dinner table, just like all like she's standing up

1151
00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:33,719
Speaker 3: showing everybody on the phone and we're.

1152
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:34,640
Speaker 2: Passing it around.

1153
00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:40,040
Speaker 1: We're like fucking Hyaenas like I'm pulling out a titty.

1154
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:43,000
Speaker 1: It's like giving him inspiration like we were going.

1155
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:45,279
Speaker 3: You would have think we were fucking Hyaenas about to

1156
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:47,239
Speaker 3: go like in on some prey.

1157
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:50,560
Speaker 2: Right then he tells us count down.

1158
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:54,440
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he couldn't have said anything better. We

1159
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:55,839
Speaker 1: got so excited.

1160
00:51:56,160 --> 00:52:04,920
Speaker 7: We're like ten nine e seven five four three two

1161
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:12,279
Speaker 7: what And he's not U everywhere and we're like, oh

1162
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:12,839
Speaker 7: my god.

1163
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:17,560
Speaker 4: Crowd goes crazy on QUE you guys on Q, I

1164
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:19,640
Speaker 4: tell you like a movie.

1165
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:22,760
Speaker 1: It was like you can't make this up. I don't.

1166
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 3: We have the best dms that ever lived, And everybody

1167
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:28,719
Speaker 3: was so happy and we even like sent a couple

1168
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:30,400
Speaker 3: of years cash cash cheptain.

1169
00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:32,960
Speaker 1: He has a real job, but he was happy to

1170
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:33,920
Speaker 1: do it, but he was.

1171
00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:37,520
Speaker 3: He did such an a one performance that I mean wow,

1172
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:39,919
Speaker 3: and not only that, like I just realized a women

1173
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:43,160
Speaker 3: are fucking hyenas, okay, because I think like maybe two

1174
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:45,440
Speaker 3: like an hour later, like her boyfriend, like two guys

1175
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:47,239
Speaker 3: came and the vibe totally change.

1176
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:51,840
Speaker 1: We're like, they're like, hi, are you lasterious? Clever? But

1177
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:57,480
Speaker 1: like five minutes before we're like, like you women also

1178
00:52:57,560 --> 00:52:58,760
Speaker 1: got on top of the table.

1179
00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:00,840
Speaker 2: We were like howling.

1180
00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:03,719
Speaker 3: We were literally howling. Like after it was done, we

1181
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:05,360
Speaker 3: had to look at ourselves like are.

1182
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:07,839
Speaker 1: We was that human? Are we even here?

1183
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:09,320
Speaker 2: Are animals?

1184
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:10,640
Speaker 1: And like do we all need better?

1185
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:16,440
Speaker 3: Somebody called better help group session right now, So I

1186
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:18,719
Speaker 3: don't know vibe. We never teld that story, but it

1187
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:20,960
Speaker 3: was beautiful and shout out to sugar got.

1188
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:24,440
Speaker 1: Okay, here we go.

1189
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:25,680
Speaker 2: Whoor Story number two.

1190
00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:28,640
Speaker 1: A year ago, I was dating this guy, let's call

1191
00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:29,239
Speaker 1: him Tate.

1192
00:53:29,640 --> 00:53:31,200
Speaker 2: I think I knew it wasn't going to work out.

1193
00:53:31,280 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 4: He was definitely a rebound to get over my baby daddy,

1194
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:35,719
Speaker 4: but still I got tired of playing with my own

1195
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:39,160
Speaker 4: pussy and needed consistent dick, so why not. Anyways, I

1196
00:53:39,239 --> 00:53:41,520
Speaker 4: broke up with him one day and one of my

1197
00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:44,279
Speaker 4: best guy friends, let's call him Nick, came over to

1198
00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:45,680
Speaker 4: take my mind off the situation.

1199
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:49,800
Speaker 2: Taken. Nick had take and Nick was just a tongue twister.

1200
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:50,920
Speaker 2: Tate and Nick had.

1201
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:53,160
Speaker 4: Never talked to each other or officially met, but I'd

1202
00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:55,600
Speaker 4: see each other in passing and knew each other only

1203
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:58,120
Speaker 4: through me. So Nick and I were sitting in my

1204
00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:01,360
Speaker 4: living room getting high. My Tate pulls up to the

1205
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:03,560
Speaker 4: house and starts blowing up my phone begging me to

1206
00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:06,040
Speaker 4: come outside. He knew I was inside with Nick because

1207
00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:07,800
Speaker 4: his car was in the driveway, and so he was

1208
00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:10,600
Speaker 4: doing anything he could to get me to come outside.

1209
00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:14,719
Speaker 4: At one point, I did go outside because it was

1210
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:17,000
Speaker 4: late and I didn't want him causing a scene, so

1211
00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:17,960
Speaker 4: I went out to try and.

1212
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:18,880
Speaker 2: Diffuse the situation.

1213
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:21,040
Speaker 4: It was pointless because he got upset and when he

1214
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 4: saw I was wearing just a long T shirts and

1215
00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:26,240
Speaker 4: booty shorts and started to argue it was my house,

1216
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:28,440
Speaker 4: I do what I want. So I dubbed that and

1217
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:32,440
Speaker 4: went back inside. That's right, girl, Tate dead ass came

1218
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:34,839
Speaker 4: up to the porch and started kicking at my door,

1219
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:38,440
Speaker 4: like the damn Feds anyways. Now, to be honest, my

1220
00:54:38,560 --> 00:54:41,040
Speaker 4: friend is fine as fuck, and I've had a thing

1221
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:43,360
Speaker 4: for him since I was fifteen years old I'm now thirty.

1222
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:45,480
Speaker 4: I always thought he had a thing for me too,

1223
00:54:45,640 --> 00:54:47,680
Speaker 4: but we never crossed that line. So we always just

1224
00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:51,120
Speaker 4: so We've always just been really close. So Nick got

1225
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:55,239
Speaker 4: annoyed because of the commotion, and was because of the

1226
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:58,520
Speaker 4: commotion that was clearly messing with our high Nick was like,

1227
00:54:58,960 --> 00:55:01,160
Speaker 4: what does he think we're doing in here fucking to

1228
00:55:01,239 --> 00:55:06,480
Speaker 4: which I jokingly respond, probably well. I turned around and

1229
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:10,160
Speaker 4: he pulled his whole dick out chow. When I tell you,

1230
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:12,399
Speaker 4: he was packing in my head.

1231
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:13,600
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, friend.

1232
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:19,000
Speaker 2: He pushed my head down and I went straight to work.

1233
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:21,000
Speaker 4: I started giving him head right in my living room

1234
00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:23,840
Speaker 4: with my ex banging on my front door, literally just

1235
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:25,920
Speaker 4: a few feet away from us. He was playing with

1236
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:28,960
Speaker 4: my He was playing with my pussy, and he clearly

1237
00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:31,239
Speaker 4: was loving it and talking about he's been waiting for

1238
00:55:31,320 --> 00:55:33,480
Speaker 4: this for years and talking all nasty to me.

1239
00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:34,080
Speaker 2: Now.

1240
00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:37,160
Speaker 1: At this point, my pussy was throbbing dripping.

1241
00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:38,480
Speaker 2: She was ready, he was.

1242
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:41,120
Speaker 4: He finally bent me over and started eating my pussy

1243
00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:43,839
Speaker 4: from the back. Things got loud and crazy real quick.

1244
00:55:44,160 --> 00:55:46,520
Speaker 4: Keep in mind, the banging on the door is still

1245
00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:49,520
Speaker 4: carrying on. Nick ended up picking me up and started

1246
00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:51,960
Speaker 4: fucking me on the dining table. Now the table is

1247
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:55,200
Speaker 4: in front of a big window, like almost floor to ceiling,

1248
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:57,000
Speaker 4: and on the other side of the window is my

1249
00:55:57,080 --> 00:55:59,520
Speaker 4: front deck that leads to my front door, the front

1250
00:55:59,560 --> 00:56:02,239
Speaker 4: door my ex was banging on. So Nick turns me

1251
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:04,759
Speaker 4: around and now I'm getting fucked from the back. He

1252
00:56:04,840 --> 00:56:06,800
Speaker 4: had my hair wrapped around his fist, pulling on my

1253
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:11,640
Speaker 4: hair and choking me with his other hand. Damn girl, shit, Oh,

1254
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:16,000
Speaker 4: she's tingling just thinking about it. Right as I start coming,

1255
00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:18,000
Speaker 4: I look up and see my ex just standing there

1256
00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:21,000
Speaker 4: watching us through the window. Nick's bold assed and opened

1257
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:23,080
Speaker 4: the damn curtain. I thought my ex was going to

1258
00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:25,440
Speaker 4: break the damn door down, but Nick didn't stop and

1259
00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:28,200
Speaker 4: KNEI he did. I now I'm really throwing it back

1260
00:56:28,239 --> 00:56:31,560
Speaker 4: because now I have to show out a few minutes.

1261
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:35,560
Speaker 4: A few minutes in, my ex pulls his dick out

1262
00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:39,640
Speaker 4: and starts stroking himself while watching us. This man comes

1263
00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:43,080
Speaker 4: up to the window and leans on it, face on

1264
00:56:43,440 --> 00:56:48,600
Speaker 4: the glass, hand streaks down the glass like that scene

1265
00:56:48,640 --> 00:56:49,400
Speaker 4: in the Titanic.

1266
00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:57,160
Speaker 2: I can't our eyes were locked. That shit turned me

1267
00:56:57,280 --> 00:57:01,080
Speaker 2: the fuck on. I was coming so hard, streaks down

1268
00:57:01,120 --> 00:57:04,600
Speaker 2: the glass like the scene in the Titanic. Our eyes

1269
00:57:04,719 --> 00:57:07,120
Speaker 2: were locked. That shit turned me the fuck on. I

1270
00:57:07,239 --> 00:57:08,160
Speaker 2: was coming so hard.

1271
00:57:08,239 --> 00:57:10,080
Speaker 4: So Nick put me in this position where I was

1272
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:13,719
Speaker 4: holding myself myself up on one side with my one

1273
00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:16,440
Speaker 4: leg and one hand, had my other leg up over

1274
00:57:16,520 --> 00:57:17,040
Speaker 4: his shoulder.

1275
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:19,640
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, kama su true. Wait.

1276
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:21,600
Speaker 4: The table I was on is right next to the

1277
00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:23,440
Speaker 4: front door, and I don't know what possessed me to

1278
00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:26,080
Speaker 4: reach over with one free hand and unlocked the door.

1279
00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:27,400
Speaker 2: But I sure.

1280
00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:30,160
Speaker 1: Am done with you.

1281
00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:33,360
Speaker 4: This is honestly, I didn't even Oh my god, I'm

1282
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:35,080
Speaker 4: so glad I didn't read this all the way through.

1283
00:57:35,960 --> 00:57:37,400
Speaker 4: I read half this, you guys, and I was like,

1284
00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:38,480
Speaker 4: oh no, this is happening.

1285
00:57:38,560 --> 00:57:39,040
Speaker 2: We're reading this.

1286
00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:42,560
Speaker 4: So Nick put me in his position. Okay, wait, where

1287
00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:45,680
Speaker 4: am I shit? Okay, and unlocked the door, but I

1288
00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:48,320
Speaker 4: sure did. My X walks in and pushes me down

1289
00:57:48,440 --> 00:57:50,400
Speaker 4: on my back. So now I'm all laid out on

1290
00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:53,120
Speaker 4: the table like a full course meal with one man's

1291
00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:55,200
Speaker 4: dick in my pussy and the other one in my mouth,

1292
00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:58,200
Speaker 4: and turned into a full blown threesome. They took turns

1293
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:00,200
Speaker 4: eating my pussy and I lost track of how many

1294
00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:02,800
Speaker 4: times I came for both of them. A bitch was

1295
00:58:02,920 --> 00:58:05,480
Speaker 4: lightheaded as fuck. It was truly a team effort, like

1296
00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:08,800
Speaker 4: for real. One of them was like for real. One

1297
00:58:08,840 --> 00:58:11,120
Speaker 4: of them was holding me, fucking me in my pussy

1298
00:58:11,200 --> 00:58:13,080
Speaker 4: while the other one was giving me anal at.

1299
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:13,919
Speaker 2: The same time.

1300
00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:16,320
Speaker 1: Oh wow, your life is a porn.

1301
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:19,040
Speaker 4: I was sporting all over the damn house when I

1302
00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:21,360
Speaker 4: tell you I had the best sex of my life.

1303
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:23,520
Speaker 2: Nothing could ever top that.

1304
00:58:23,840 --> 00:58:27,920
Speaker 4: Uh yeah, my whole entire life existence Like many lives,

1305
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:29,120
Speaker 4: it's probably fantasy.

1306
00:58:29,200 --> 00:58:32,640
Speaker 1: It's porn. Did this happen right, it's too perfect. It's porn.

1307
00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:38,000
Speaker 2: Okay, it was like some porn no fantasy shit for everyone.

1308
00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:41,280
Speaker 2: I'm sure we legit all had sex till like six

1309
00:58:41,360 --> 00:58:43,480
Speaker 2: in the morning. This was like five straight hours of

1310
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:47,880
Speaker 2: NonStop sex. Anyways, in the end, I completely cut off

1311
00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:50,080
Speaker 2: my ex after that and never spoke to him again.

1312
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:54,080
Speaker 2: Good farewell sex, though, and my friend has now become

1313
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:55,840
Speaker 2: my permanent fuck buddy the end.

1314
00:58:56,120 --> 00:58:59,880
Speaker 1: Wow, that was beautiful that she like that never happens

1315
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:00,200
Speaker 1: to me.

1316
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:03,160
Speaker 2: That's just that's what you call love story. That is

1317
00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:04,919
Speaker 2: called that's a hoary love story.

1318
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,040
Speaker 1: That is a hory fucking love story. It just happens

1319
00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:11,640
Speaker 1: so easily. Just wow, I mean it just turned. It

1320
00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:14,720
Speaker 1: took a turn for the better. Okay, Well, well.

1321
00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:17,600
Speaker 2: I'm so glad that that. I'm so glad that happened

1322
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:19,480
Speaker 2: for you. Fucking kudos to you.

1323
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:23,000
Speaker 1: Honestly, that is like you like, your whole entire sex

1324
00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:24,919
Speaker 1: life is just on ten.

1325
00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:28,080
Speaker 2: It's on ten. You've You've topped everyone and everyone.

1326
00:59:28,240 --> 00:59:35,320
Speaker 4: Everyone real life porn fantasies like anger, jealousy, TI turn

1327
00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:37,000
Speaker 4: turn feast.

1328
00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:37,800
Speaker 1: Like that's amazing.

1329
00:59:40,600 --> 00:59:44,200
Speaker 4: Anyway, guys, we will catch you guys next week. If

1330
00:59:44,200 --> 00:59:46,480
Speaker 4: you guys are interested in joining Better Help, we have

1331
00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:51,280
Speaker 4: a link in our description, and also make sure you

1332
00:59:51,800 --> 00:59:54,160
Speaker 4: subscribe tour newsletter Goodbomesbad Choices.

1333
00:59:53,880 --> 00:59:56,919
Speaker 3: Dot com and to our Patreon because I'm probably gonna

1334
00:59:56,920 --> 01:00:00,240
Speaker 3: go into much more deeper detail about my breakup on

1335
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:02,360
Speaker 3: Patreon because I'm scary.

1336
01:00:03,520 --> 01:00:05,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, Patreon is where we really like talk about all

1337
01:00:05,840 --> 01:00:08,440
Speaker 4: our ship because we get a little nervous one here,

1338
01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:10,320
Speaker 4: whether you believe it or not.

1339
01:00:11,400 --> 01:00:15,080
Speaker 3: So go to patreon dot com, backslash, good Mom's Bad Choices.

1340
01:00:15,440 --> 01:00:17,360
Speaker 3: You can't just go to Patreon and type us in

1341
01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:20,160
Speaker 3: because we are explicit, So you got to put the

1342
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:23,600
Speaker 3: whole thing in the search search bar. Patreon dot com,

1343
01:00:23,760 --> 01:00:25,240
Speaker 3: Good Mom's Bad Choices.

1344
01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:29,120
Speaker 4: Packslash, Good Mom's bat Choices, Instagram, good Moms, but good whatever,

1345
01:00:29,200 --> 01:00:29,959
Speaker 4: it's all good moms.

1346
01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:31,320
Speaker 2: No, just fine.

1347
01:00:31,400 --> 01:00:34,240
Speaker 3: And also, yes, you better fucking comment and review, okay,

1348
01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:35,640
Speaker 3: because we said so.

1349
01:00:35,880 --> 01:00:38,040
Speaker 1: God damn it. This is important comment and review.

1350
01:00:38,280 --> 01:00:41,040
Speaker 2: We bear our souls, we cry. You can leave a review. Okay,

1351
01:00:41,280 --> 01:00:42,000
Speaker 2: you know my business.

1352
01:00:42,040 --> 01:00:44,440
Speaker 1: You get a ship for freak least you could do.

1353
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:45,680
Speaker 1: It costs you nothing.

1354
01:00:46,760 --> 01:00:48,000
Speaker 2: All right, we'll see you guys next week.

1355
01:00:48,200 --> 01:01:03,120
Speaker 5: Please like I did the last three s Comboby Lamoiselle

1356
01:01:03,200 --> 01:01:04,160
Speaker 5: La ranzol

1357
01:01:12,160 --> 01:01:12,560
Speaker 2: Mm hmm