WEBVTT - MFM Minisode 500 0:00:16.840 --> 0:00:19.880 Hello and welcome to the minisode. 0:00:20.040 --> 0:00:23.120 It's our five hundredth minisode. 0:00:23.280 --> 0:00:24.880 Oh is that even possible? 0:00:25.200 --> 0:00:26.680 It's quite an accomplishment, it is. 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:30.120 I'm proud of us. I'm breaking the cute little five hundred. 0:00:30.280 --> 0:00:33.720 I'm proud of Corey for this design. So cute, incredible, 0:00:33.840 --> 0:00:34.319 all of it. 0:00:34.440 --> 0:00:38.040 But we're doing a very fun thing for like, especially 0:00:38.040 --> 0:00:41.400 for this episode. Our producers thought it would be fun 0:00:41.520 --> 0:00:45.239 to take all of the different subcategories of minisodes that 0:00:45.280 --> 0:00:47.240 we've asked you all to send in over the years, 0:00:47.800 --> 0:00:50.240 and the ones that they know we like the best. 0:00:50.680 --> 0:00:54.480 They've tried to get two for ones, two subjects in 0:00:54.560 --> 0:00:55.720 one email for us. 0:00:55.800 --> 0:00:59.120 So like a random hero pet meets treasure in the 0:00:59.120 --> 0:01:00.200 wall kind of a thing. 0:01:00.360 --> 0:01:02.520 A grandma meets al Capone. 0:01:02.560 --> 0:01:05.759 That's the only example, the grandma and al Capone, Grandma 0:01:05.760 --> 0:01:07.520 and al Capone. But then you have to have another 0:01:07.560 --> 0:01:11.000 one meets a deathbed confession. 0:01:10.680 --> 0:01:13.080 Glitchen, the matrix, Glitchen the matrix. 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:15.399 Those are my favorite. So yeah, that's what. 0:01:15.600 --> 0:01:18.640 But here's an even more fun part is that these 0:01:18.640 --> 0:01:21.160 are complete surprises to us. Usually we pick our own 0:01:21.160 --> 0:01:23.480 emails to read to each other. Yeah, but this time 0:01:23.480 --> 0:01:26.240 they've been chosen for us by us. 0:01:26.440 --> 0:01:28.520 Right, So I'm going to read three from Karen that 0:01:28.640 --> 0:01:32.720 Karen chose specifically for me and vice versa. So I've 0:01:32.760 --> 0:01:34.840 never seen these, so they better not be embarrassing. That 0:01:34.880 --> 0:01:36.280 would be really Eryl. 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:38.119 There are all three emails about your butt. 0:01:38.160 --> 0:01:40.200 I don't know how I did it, but I did it. 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:43.399 I'm proud of you. Okay, so yeah, let's do it. 0:01:43.480 --> 0:01:45.000 Let's get and do it. Who goes first? 0:01:45.280 --> 0:01:47.360 What do you think you want to go first? Sure, 0:01:47.400 --> 0:01:49.560 they're pure surprises, so we can't even wait. 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:50.720 Hold on because I have a good one for your 0:01:50.760 --> 0:01:52.280 last one. So if I go, then you go, then 0:01:52.320 --> 0:01:54.200 I go, then you go, then I go, then you go. 0:01:54.480 --> 0:01:59.960 So yeah, me counting, I've got I can't count five 0:02:00.400 --> 0:02:02.600 because you're so good at this. That's right that you've 0:02:02.640 --> 0:02:03.000 done it. 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:06.400 Also, just for everyone at home, Georgia thought this up 0:02:06.760 --> 0:02:07.480 the first. 0:02:07.200 --> 0:02:08.400 Week we did this podcast. 0:02:08.440 --> 0:02:11.880 What mini soots were an immediate It was a great idea. 0:02:12.120 --> 0:02:15.080 I'm so happy that we did it. It's it's brought 0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:17.960 so much joy I think into our lives. Oh yeah, 0:02:18.120 --> 0:02:20.680 this is you know, it's my favorite. What better than 0:02:20.720 --> 0:02:23.919 to read other people's grandma's adventures? Totally or whatever. We've 0:02:23.919 --> 0:02:27.399 read so many great stories over the years, the latch 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:30.600 Key children, Jude, That's just everything that we learn about 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:33.720 ourselves and our listeners has been so much fun. Okay, 0:02:33.760 --> 0:02:35.280 So the first one that you picked for me is 0:02:35.480 --> 0:02:39.160 a grandma vengeance story with cats. So it's the Sassy 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:44.040 Grandma's and cats. Those two topics as one one. Sassy 0:02:44.080 --> 0:02:47.640 Grandma's chocolate, cat's vanilla, and you get here. We love 0:02:48.560 --> 0:02:51.760 I want that, okay, Hi all, but especially cats for 0:02:51.840 --> 0:02:54.560 reasons that will soon be clear. Before I begin my 0:02:54.639 --> 0:02:57.760 sincerest apologies to anyone I know irl who listens to 0:02:57.800 --> 0:03:01.720 this podcast, because I've definitely already told you this story. Anyways, onwards. 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:05.000 My grandmother garepa on the beach in Tampa, Florida, and 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:08.040 every kid in her neighborhood had their own little row boat. 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:11.440 It was the thirties, so child safety was not a thing. 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:13.240 How fun would that be? 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:14.800 How old did you have to be to get your 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:15.639 own rowboat? 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:16.760 Eight? Probably? 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:17.920 What if it's fine? 0:03:18.040 --> 0:03:21.799 Y'd so easy. One day, when she was about eight 0:03:21.880 --> 0:03:24.960 or nine, Oh, she looked outside and saw another kid 0:03:25.040 --> 0:03:27.519 out in his rowboat, holding a cat by the tail 0:03:27.600 --> 0:03:31.520 and swinging it over the water. Filled with a righteous rage, 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:34.160 my grandmother jumped into her boat, rowed out to the 0:03:34.200 --> 0:03:36.720 boy with the cat, stood up, and started beating him 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:38.800 over the head as hard as she could with one 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:41.160 of her oars. I thought I was gonna say, with 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:45.080 one of her cats, thinking of the cat. This apparently 0:03:45.120 --> 0:03:47.160 went on for quite a while, but eventually my grandmother 0:03:47.200 --> 0:03:49.800 decided that the boy had been suitedly punished, and she 0:03:49.920 --> 0:03:52.760 grabbed the cat and rowed back to the shore. A 0:03:52.840 --> 0:03:54.920 new home was found with the cat, and the story 0:03:54.920 --> 0:03:57.840 of the boy and the oar passed into family legend. 0:03:58.120 --> 0:04:01.800 That is amazing. Now, my grandmother was known to exaggerate things, 0:04:01.840 --> 0:04:03.880 so my mom and her siblings always took the story 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:07.080 with several grains of salts. But years and years later, 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:10.840 my grandparents decided to retire back down to the Tampa area. 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:13.680 My mom, being a youngest and the only kids still 0:04:13.680 --> 0:04:17.560 at home, got dragged along on various errands. One of 0:04:17.560 --> 0:04:20.040 these errands was to the local bank. When they walked 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:22.480 into the bank manager's office, he took one look at 0:04:22.480 --> 0:04:26.080 my grandmother's maiden name and started edging around to the 0:04:26.120 --> 0:04:29.320 other side of a desk. It was the same boy 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:33.320 and he was a fairly still very scared of my grandmother. 0:04:33.520 --> 0:04:37.719 Fifty years later. Fuck yeah, my mom obviously lost her 0:04:37.960 --> 0:04:40.960 entire mind, but my grandmother just laughed and reassured him 0:04:40.960 --> 0:04:42.720 that as long as he didn't have any cats and 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:46.039 she didn't have any ores, he was probably safe. My 0:04:46.080 --> 0:04:48.839 grandparents opened a new bank account without further incident, and 0:04:48.880 --> 0:04:52.560 they proceeded to have a very happy retirement, and as 0:04:52.560 --> 0:04:54.960 far as I know, the bank manager didn't torture any 0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:57.960 more animals. Thanks for all you do and for getting 0:04:57.960 --> 0:05:00.320 me through many long hours in the lab because I 0:05:00.360 --> 0:05:03.800 work on my PhD. Stay sexy and believe your grandmother 0:05:03.839 --> 0:05:05.599 when she tells you that she wants to meet up 0:05:05.640 --> 0:05:10.440 a kid on behalf of a cat, Cassie. The generations 0:05:10.440 --> 0:05:14.160 of cats that owe their life to this grandmother, Yeah, 0:05:14.320 --> 0:05:15.280 is such a beautiful thing. 0:05:15.440 --> 0:05:19.080 Actually, the cat she saved birth over five thousand kittens. 0:05:19.080 --> 0:05:23.000 That's right, five hundred five hundred kittens. Oh it was 0:05:23.040 --> 0:05:25.000 not a good one. Yeah, okay, I can't remember what 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:25.680 it picks for you. 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:27.479 It's so funny that I picked that one for you 0:05:27.560 --> 0:05:29.760 but didn't eat because I was just like trying to 0:05:29.800 --> 0:05:32.960 get it right. And it's like children in little rowboats 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:36.919 the cutest. There's got to be pictures of that. I mean, like, 0:05:36.960 --> 0:05:39.040 I need to go into that world. Want a tiny 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:42.720 rowboat that's just for me, Yeah, for me in that ocean. 0:05:42.800 --> 0:05:44.360 Put snacks in it the ocean. 0:05:44.960 --> 0:05:52.839 Okay, ooh, here's my first one. The subject line is 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:58.400 hidden things in walls. Yes, surprise, it's Grandma Grandma's and walls. 0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:01.240 Oh okay, yeah, okay, I'm over this one now. 0:06:03.680 --> 0:06:05.200 It starts a hoioi pals. 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:08.680 My grandparents live in an adorable nineteen fifties Cape cod 0:06:08.720 --> 0:06:11.760 split level house. Those two styles put together give you 0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:14.120 a lot of odd little nooks and crannies and places 0:06:14.120 --> 0:06:16.719 you wouldn't expect, which makes for a great hide and 0:06:16.760 --> 0:06:19.960 seek house for the grandkids. Eventually we found all the 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:22.159 really good hiding places in our hide and seek games 0:06:22.160 --> 0:06:24.200 turned into hide and scare the shit out of each other. 0:06:25.279 --> 0:06:27.880 My dad has always really been interested in old timey shit, 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:30.360 and I was a poor middle child who just wanted 0:06:30.360 --> 0:06:33.400 some attention for crying out loud, So we would often 0:06:33.440 --> 0:06:36.839 go into my grandparents' attic and spend rainy Saturday afternoons 0:06:37.000 --> 0:06:41.119 looking through old family photos, trinkets, and trasures. This attic 0:06:41.400 --> 0:06:44.080 was more like a hall closet that led to unfinished 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:46.120 crawl space in the eaves of them. 0:06:46.360 --> 0:06:48.120 I love for the imagination of a kid is like, 0:06:48.240 --> 0:06:49.280 this is a hidden room. 0:06:49.400 --> 0:06:52.159 It was a beautiful Now that was just don't step 0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:53.640 on the pink part exactly. 0:06:53.680 --> 0:06:54.680 It's golation. 0:06:54.960 --> 0:06:55.760 Yeah. 0:06:56.040 --> 0:06:58.680 One afternoon, when the two of us were up there, 0:06:58.920 --> 0:07:01.520 I pulled out a box and uncovered a small door 0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:04.560 that neither of us knew. I mean. 0:07:07.760 --> 0:07:09.679 Just a door, a small door. 0:07:09.800 --> 0:07:10.680 Yeah. 0:07:10.800 --> 0:07:12.960 We had just gone to see National Treasure. So my 0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:15.680 eleven year old self instantly yelled, oh my god, the 0:07:15.720 --> 0:07:18.840 Declaration of Independence might be in there, and then in 0:07:18.920 --> 0:07:20.680 parentheses it says, what a fucking nerd. 0:07:21.240 --> 0:07:22.320 But friends, I am. 0:07:22.200 --> 0:07:25.000 Here to tell you it was way more practical than that. 0:07:25.600 --> 0:07:29.520 What we found was the plumbing access space behind the bathroom. 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:32.040 You could get into the bathroom from the crawl space 0:07:32.160 --> 0:07:36.200 simply by pushing out the built in wall hamper. Oh. 0:07:36.320 --> 0:07:38.480 I had found the holy grail of hiding places that 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:40.320 my sister and cousins knew nothing. 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:43.960 But I could not wait to use it. Holy shit, 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:44.760 this is awesome. 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:47.480 My twisted little mind started thinking of the perfect way 0:07:47.520 --> 0:07:49.920 to scare the ever loving shit out of them, and 0:07:50.000 --> 0:07:52.480 play the best prank ever. I had to make sure 0:07:52.520 --> 0:07:54.679 my plan would work, so I picked the best guinea 0:07:54.720 --> 0:07:55.600 pig I could think of. 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:56.600 Grandma. 0:07:57.760 --> 0:08:00.240 Now I wasn't a complete lunatic, so I made sure 0:08:00.280 --> 0:08:03.320 she wasn't in the shower where she could slip and fall, 0:08:03.400 --> 0:08:06.520 thank you. But while she was cleaning the bathroom, I 0:08:06.560 --> 0:08:09.560 snuck into the crawl space through the attic and started 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:12.880 lightly tapping on the walls of the shower, then pushing 0:08:12.880 --> 0:08:15.720 on the hamper, and topped it off by making quiet 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:16.920 groaning sounds. 0:08:17.480 --> 0:08:19.640 Kids think they're so sad, I'll let you know. Grandma 0:08:19.680 --> 0:08:19.960 was like. 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:21.760 You think one of them's on the wall. 0:08:22.520 --> 0:08:24.520 Then just as I'm ready to jump out and scare her, 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:26.840 she yanks the hamper out of the wall and scares 0:08:26.880 --> 0:08:29.880 me first. Yes, I couldn't understand how she knew it 0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:32.600 was one of her grandkids when I so clearly sounded 0:08:32.600 --> 0:08:35.800 like a ghost. Apparently this was a prank she would 0:08:35.840 --> 0:08:41.520 play on my Grandpa when they first moved in the house. Grandma, 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:46.640 relationship goals, Grandma, you have to find someone that you 0:08:46.720 --> 0:08:52.720 can scare constantly. Oh no, this was their empty Nestor's house. 0:08:52.840 --> 0:08:54.679 So the thought of my grandma, in her late fifties 0:08:54.720 --> 0:08:58.480 hiding in the crawl space to scare her husband of 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:01.560 thirty some years tickles me me too. Just when I 0:09:01.600 --> 0:09:04.040 think she couldn't get any cooler, she says, did you 0:09:04.080 --> 0:09:05.640 know this goes all the way back to the guest 0:09:05.679 --> 0:09:06.440 room closet. 0:09:06.920 --> 0:09:08.480 We could really get them good. 0:09:09.400 --> 0:09:11.400 My oldest sister and cousin were hanging out in the 0:09:11.400 --> 0:09:14.320 guest room being cool teenagers and not letting me in 0:09:14.480 --> 0:09:18.199 because sisters. So my grandma decided to go to that 0:09:18.360 --> 0:09:20.720 end of the crawl space and start tapping on the walls. 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:23.560 They began screaming and ran to the only room with 0:09:23.600 --> 0:09:24.480 a lock on the door. 0:09:24.960 --> 0:09:32.280 The veg Yeah motherfuckers, Yeah, big sisters, where. 0:09:32.200 --> 0:09:34.680 I was still hidden in the wall making spooky noises. 0:09:34.760 --> 0:09:36.600 Needless to say that two of them had the scare 0:09:36.600 --> 0:09:39.400 of their lives and still have no idea that their 0:09:39.400 --> 0:09:42.280 ghostly encounter was just me and Grandma creeping in the walls. 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:45.240 That's how hilarious. People were, like, what's your ghost story? 0:09:45.360 --> 0:09:47.480 And it's just their sibling that they don't know. 0:09:48.200 --> 0:09:51.640 I was looking at a copy of Stephen king Rice's 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:56.079 pet seminary and all of a sudden, no, your shitty 0:09:56.160 --> 0:09:59.200 like little sister, it's your middle sister getting revel right. 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:01.840 Grandma still loves a good prank and is always down 0:10:01.840 --> 0:10:04.040 for a game of anything with one of her twenty 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:08.160 two grandchildren or eleven great grandchildren. Her and my grandpa 0:10:08.360 --> 0:10:11.760 just celebrated their sixty first wedding anniversary. When I asked 0:10:11.800 --> 0:10:14.480 how they have stayed together this long, my grandpa says, 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:17.480 she has the most amazing laugh I've ever heard. And 0:10:17.520 --> 0:10:19.480 I decided a long time ago, Oh. 0:10:19.360 --> 0:10:22.880 No, I know. I was like, Oh, Karen's gonna cry. 0:10:22.960 --> 0:10:24.640 She has the most amazing laugh I've ever heard, And 0:10:24.679 --> 0:10:26.719 I decided a long time ago I wanted to hear 0:10:26.760 --> 0:10:28.040 that laugh every day. 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:30.720 For the rest of my life, so long as she 0:10:30.920 --> 0:10:34.040 lets me. Oh keep making your laugh, you son of 0:10:34.080 --> 0:10:38.600 a bit. You made me cry on the first That 0:10:38.760 --> 0:10:39.800 is so perfect. 0:10:40.520 --> 0:10:42.720 I know, my god, I'll take that over. I don't 0:10:42.760 --> 0:10:44.560 think I could be in a relationship that scares each 0:10:44.559 --> 0:10:46.560 other like I can't jump out to me jumping out 0:10:46.600 --> 0:10:50.320 and scaring someone's abuse. Really, yeah, that's not They can't 0:10:50.320 --> 0:10:51.360 do it to me, and I won't do it to 0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:53.680 them like that snows. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like we'll be 0:10:53.720 --> 0:10:55.880 like I'm right behind you, just to be like, I'm 0:10:55.920 --> 0:10:56.960 not trying to scare you. 0:10:57.240 --> 0:11:00.960 It's the opposite of what you would enjoy. Like my 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:03.840 cousin Stevie and well it's with his daughter's Kim. His 0:11:03.880 --> 0:11:06.800 wife would never have it, right. Uh, that's all they 0:11:06.800 --> 0:11:09.319 do is try to find a place. If that's agreed upon, 0:11:09.440 --> 0:11:12.800 it's great, it's hilarious. And I know Vince too, we 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:14.439 want no part of it whatsoever. 0:11:14.640 --> 0:11:15.320 They're so bad. 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:17.320 They do things where it's like you're we're like we 0:11:17.520 --> 0:11:20.079 just went to Dollywood, like we're all walking and they 0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:22.040 always have their eyes out of like I could. 0:11:21.920 --> 0:11:23.960 Run ahead and just get in there, or even if 0:11:23.960 --> 0:11:26.280 you go, what's that like, then they get scared, like 0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:28.800 don't don't do that to me. I don't want that. 0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:30.520 No, I know it's not where you're. 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:33.840 Enjoying that and tickling, like unless we specifically said that 0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:36.960 those things are okay and enjoyable, like don't fucking. 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:39.360 Actually, I think that's a good rule for everybody. 0:11:39.440 --> 0:11:43.200 Yeah, don't don't tickle people unless you have an express, written, 0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:48.040 direct written permission. Okay, stay sexy and check your cross 0:11:48.040 --> 0:11:52.439 space for grandma's before going to the bathroom. See she her, 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:59.239 and it says, ps, grandma's name is Zilla. So good, Priscilla, 0:11:59.480 --> 0:12:02.319 so good grandmothering her ass off? 0:12:02.880 --> 0:12:03.160 Great? 0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:06.520 That was awesome. See thank you, well, it's so good. 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:12.120 Let's see what your next one for me is. Okay, 0:12:12.120 --> 0:12:16.280 this is a combo of or so we thought, and cats. 0:12:16.640 --> 0:12:18.240 So I love it. 0:12:18.760 --> 0:12:21.160 Okay, of course you guessed that I did that to you. 0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:24.400 Oh you did. Of course you didn't do that. Okay. 0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:27.880 The time my husband found our lost cat, dot do dot, 0:12:28.000 --> 0:12:32.840 or so we thought, Georgia, Karen, love your gorgeous faces. 0:12:33.160 --> 0:12:35.480 A couple of years ago, a stray cat snuck into 0:12:35.480 --> 0:12:37.480 one of the vans at my husband's work and gave 0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:40.199 birth to a litter of kittens. Oh my god, my dream. 0:12:41.520 --> 0:12:42.520 We had to keep them. 0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:44.319 It's they picked us right. 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:47.480 Several weeks later, each kitten went home with a different coworker, 0:12:47.800 --> 0:12:51.360 and their mama became the shop kitty. That is how 0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:54.199 we came to own our second cat, Hazel, a brown 0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:57.080 tabby who was afraid of almost nothing. She holds her 0:12:57.080 --> 0:12:59.640 own against our eighty five pound dog. She runs a 0:12:59.679 --> 0:13:03.720 laps around the house with our two wild boys, like children. 0:13:03.800 --> 0:13:07.080 That's funny, and she's a great addition to the family. However, 0:13:07.120 --> 0:13:09.800 Hazel has always been an indoor cat, despite her best 0:13:09.800 --> 0:13:13.280 efforts otherwise. At around a year old, Hazel went through 0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:16.000 a phase where she would run full speed toward any 0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:18.800 door that was opened, just for a taste of the outdoors. 0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:21.719 Oh my fucking god. Well, one Sunday evening, before going 0:13:21.840 --> 0:13:24.240 to bed, I realized I hadn't seen Hazel in a while. 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:25.800 This is me all the time. Have you seen mo? 0:13:26.080 --> 0:13:28.640 I haven't seen mo in a while. I searched the house, 0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:32.199 so tabby right, yeah, yeah, I searched the house in 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:34.439 the yard and couldn't find her anywhere. It was clear 0:13:34.480 --> 0:13:36.880 she had snuck out at some point, with Adis realizing it. 0:13:37.000 --> 0:13:39.640 I was so worried about her. The next morning, as 0:13:39.640 --> 0:13:41.920 we drove around looking for her, my husband called to 0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:44.040 tell me he had found her in a neighbor's yard, 0:13:44.080 --> 0:13:46.160 but she was hiding from their dogs and was too 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:48.880 scared to come out. I grabbed some cat treats and 0:13:48.920 --> 0:13:50.800 headed that way to help coax her out of her 0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:53.360 hiding spot. And at work, she crept out from under 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:55.920 the shed, and when she did, my husband grabbed her, 0:13:56.440 --> 0:14:00.000 except then she went absolutely wild, biting, scratching, twisting around 0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:02.960 and doing everything she could to get away. It was 0:14:03.000 --> 0:14:05.360 nothing like her, and she was such a sweetheart, so 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:08.600 it was very unexpected, but she was obviously terrified. The 0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:10.960 neighbor who lived there grabbed a cage and my husband 0:14:11.000 --> 0:14:14.200 somehow managed to put the writing cat inside. His hand 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:16.880 was bleeding everywhere. There was a deep puncture wound in 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:20.240 his pinky finger and scratches up his arms. He headed 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:23.200 to urgent care to get bandage and injected with an antibiotic. 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:27.480 Then finally we brought Hazel home, or so we thought, 0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:30.600 Oh my god, we seen the meme of like I 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:33.040 found my cat three months ago. It came home today 0:14:33.040 --> 0:14:35.840 and it's just too large, black and white, exactly like that. 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:39.800 Looked identical. When we opened the cage, she immediately went 0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:42.600 into our laundry room, hid behind our dryer and would 0:14:42.600 --> 0:14:45.120 not come out. As I stood looking at her cowering 0:14:45.160 --> 0:14:47.080 in the corner, I turned to my husband and said, 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:51.280 I don't think that's Hazel. My husband wasn't sure either, 0:14:51.360 --> 0:14:53.680 so we started the process of getting the cat back 0:14:53.720 --> 0:14:56.520 into the cage and managed to do it without further injury. 0:14:57.040 --> 0:14:58.720 We took her to a nearby vet and had her 0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:02.400 scam for a microchip. She didn't have. Hazel has a microchip. 0:15:02.640 --> 0:15:06.280 This was not our cat. My husband drove back to 0:15:06.320 --> 0:15:08.560 the neighbor's house where he had found this cat and 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:11.760 talked to the neighbor's wife. He explained the situation and 0:15:11.800 --> 0:15:15.840 the wife responded, yeah, that's our cat. The neighbor's only 0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:18.680 explanation for why he assisted in the cat napping of 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:22.200 his own pet was that they had several cats. He 0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:24.360 said he thought it looked like one of theirs, but 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:27.560 my husband seemed so sure that he didn't want to disagree. Wow, 0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:30.440 that's therapy. Got to go to therapy. Yeah, that's right. 0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:32.880 Needless to say, my husband was not happy about the 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:37.400 injuries he sustained retrieving the wrong cat. Meanwhile, I continued 0:15:37.400 --> 0:15:39.960 the search for Hazel. I did everything I can think of, 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:42.840 posted online, put up flyers, talked with neighbors, and got 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:45.320 permission to search their yards, and put out a trap 0:15:45.360 --> 0:15:49.840 that managed to catch two more incorrect cats. Then, a 0:15:49.840 --> 0:15:52.600 couple days later, I walked into her kitchen and Hazel 0:15:52.680 --> 0:15:54.880 was sitting at our back door waiting to be let in. 0:15:55.400 --> 0:15:57.840 After three nights of doing god knows what. I guess 0:15:57.880 --> 0:15:59.000 she was ready to come home. 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:03.320 That's amazing. It sounds like it was too much totally. 0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:06.840 She was covered in cobwebs. I fucking love that. Hungry 0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:09.480 and thirsty, but none the worse for wear. My husband's 0:16:09.480 --> 0:16:12.120 hand healed, but he still doesn't have complete feeling in 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:15.400 his pinky finger and does not find the story nearly 0:16:15.440 --> 0:16:20.400 as entertaining as most people do. Oh Thankfully, Hazel has 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:23.160 mostly outgrown her taste for freedom. She still makes the 0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:26.280 occasional break for an open door, but has mostly accepted 0:16:26.320 --> 0:16:29.440 that she is strictly an indoor cat. I have attached 0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:31.880 a photo of her to share. Thanks for reading my story. 0:16:31.920 --> 0:16:35.080 Stay sexy and don't aid an a bet in catnapping 0:16:35.120 --> 0:16:38.840 your own pet. Josie she her, Oh my goodness, he 0:16:39.080 --> 0:16:42.120 looks just like mo, Just like, look at that's a 0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:43.520 that's a smart, bad cat. 0:16:44.000 --> 0:16:46.760 So cute. She's like, what, I was just under the deck. 0:16:46.920 --> 0:16:48.040 Yeah, what are we gonna do? 0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:48.840 Why are you guys. 0:16:48.720 --> 0:16:52.000 Freaking out all the time? Stop grabbing all the cats 0:16:52.000 --> 0:16:53.520 that look slightly similar to me? 0:16:53.800 --> 0:16:55.880 God, I love that story so much. 0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:57.400 It's so good. 0:16:58.840 --> 0:17:00.920 So we thought good love cats? 0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:04.040 Oh what the subject line of this. 0:17:05.600 --> 0:17:06.440 I forgot. 0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:12.480 This is a combo hero dog celebrity sighting. Oh yeah, okay, 0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:15.400 I remember now incredible. Should I hold this subject line? Yeah? 0:17:15.440 --> 0:17:18.320 Yeah, yeah, yeah, No, I wish I hit it from you. 0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:19.480 Too, perfect though. 0:17:19.760 --> 0:17:24.720 Okay, this starts MAM's Hi, I'm obsessed with true crime, 0:17:24.800 --> 0:17:26.399 but his fate would have it. I grew up in 0:17:26.440 --> 0:17:29.479 a quiet southern Californian neighborhood no one's ever heard of, 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:31.720 which seems like the perfect spot to dig up some 0:17:31.800 --> 0:17:35.080 murder history or should I take a sinkhole? But alas 0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:35.640 here I am. 0:17:35.680 --> 0:17:37.320 Oh wait, this one is so well written. I just 0:17:37.359 --> 0:17:39.639 I thought it was a different one. Okay, so well written. Okay, 0:17:39.800 --> 0:17:40.560 don't get me wrong. 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:42.840 I'm super thankful my parents plopped us down in the 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:45.679 most boring and safest of surroundings, but it leaves me 0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:48.720 very limited on content to send in to super casually 0:17:48.760 --> 0:17:51.119 say hey, and for that, I'm resentful. 0:17:51.760 --> 0:17:52.680 And then it happened. 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:56.000 I have been summoned in a recent minnesot You guys 0:17:56.040 --> 0:17:58.520 asked for the weirdest celebrity run ins, and I am 0:17:58.560 --> 0:18:02.600 here to answer the call. Imagine it's nineteen eighty eight. 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:06.120 I'm a teeny tiny baby. Fuck you, I'm graduating from 0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:06.639 high school. 0:18:10.440 --> 0:18:14.400 What were you in sixth grade? You're eight third grade. 0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:17.880 I'm a teeny tiny baby ten months maybe in one 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:23.080 of those adorable eighties baby onesies with the feet. They've 0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:26.280 literally been around since State of fifteen hundreds. The nineties 0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:29.879 are upon us. Simple times, Growing pains is in full 0:18:29.920 --> 0:18:34.560 teen swing. Everyone's swooning over Kirk Cameron, including my half sister, 0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:37.399 who's fifteen or sixteen at the time, so it's a 0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:40.880 baby and then half sister. My parents have gotten our dog, 0:18:41.040 --> 0:18:44.560 Sarah from some dog breeder trainer who I guess also 0:18:44.680 --> 0:18:47.640 had some sort of celebrity connections. He calls my dad 0:18:47.680 --> 0:18:50.600 and says, hey, Steve, Kirk Cameron is looking for someone 0:18:50.680 --> 0:18:52.439 to watch his dog while he goes off and shoots 0:18:52.440 --> 0:18:55.720 a movie. Would you be interested? Why he chose my 0:18:55.800 --> 0:18:58.800 parents rather than someone entirely more qualified is beyond me, 0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:01.480 and why my parents agreed to do it he's even 0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:05.200 more strange. But wouldn't you know, Kirk Cameron himself delivered 0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:11.119 his sweetheart, fluffball Tibetan mastiff Rex to our house shortly. 0:19:10.760 --> 0:19:15.080 After, Like we fucked that guy, But back then, like, oh, 0:19:15.119 --> 0:19:17.080 she was the heart throb of heart throb. 0:19:17.240 --> 0:19:20.200