WEBVTT - EP 123: Teach Them Their Worth w/April Richie 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:06.760 Right job all across the USC Compton, Watts Bay to 0:00:07.000 --> 0:00:12.000 l A. Come on the California the Valley. We represent 0:00:12.080 --> 0:00:14.640 that kind of county. So if you're keeping it rail 0:00:14.720 --> 0:00:17.560 on your side of your town, you tune into Gangster 0:00:17.680 --> 0:00:23.000 Chronicles Chronic Goals. We're gonna tell you how we go. 0:00:24.040 --> 0:00:26.480 If I lie my nose a girl like Pinocchio, We're 0:00:26.480 --> 0:00:28.440 gonna tell you the truth and nothing but the truth. 0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:33.760 Gangster Chronicals. This is not your average show. You're now 0:00:33.920 --> 0:00:37.199 tuned into the rail m C A, Bick James and 0:00:37.320 --> 0:00:46.720 bixtails from the streets. Hello, Welcome to the Gangster Chronicles podcast, 0:00:46.760 --> 0:00:49.879 the production of My Heart Radio and Black Effect Podcast Network. 0:00:50.240 --> 0:00:52.600 Make sure you download the I Heart Apple, subscribe to 0:00:52.600 --> 0:00:55.320 the Gangster Chronicles for my Apple users, hit the Purple 0:00:55.400 --> 0:00:57.840 Michael your front screen, subscribe to the gainst the Chronicles 0:00:57.840 --> 0:01:00.280 and leave a five star rate in the comment. We 0:01:00.440 --> 0:01:02.840 like to welcome every one to another episode against the 0:01:02.880 --> 0:01:06.080 Chronicles podcast. You know with my player partner Jake, and 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:08.800 once again m C eight is out there with the 0:01:08.880 --> 0:01:12.280 kids at football practice, but he promised his return his Monday, 0:01:12.319 --> 0:01:14.320 So y'all joined me and letting them know that we're 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:16.240 giving them a knuckle sandwich if you don't show back, 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:17.920 if I'm just playing. But he to taking care of 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:21.319 the babies, and um, we don't talk about it much 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:23.280 on this show where you guys know we all fathers, 0:01:23.319 --> 0:01:25.760 but we never talked about the relationships that we have 0:01:25.959 --> 0:01:30.440 with our daughters, which is very important because you got daughter, James, correct. Yeah. 0:01:31.560 --> 0:01:33.679 Was the relationship with her always a little bit different 0:01:33.680 --> 0:01:37.119 than it was the boys. My daughter was my closest, 0:01:37.920 --> 0:01:40.720 you know what I'm saying, because I had the privilege 0:01:40.760 --> 0:01:44.200 of raising her for seven and a happy ish whenever mama, 0:01:44.360 --> 0:01:48.080 you know what's going through her issues, So it taught 0:01:48.120 --> 0:01:51.280 me a lot, you know. When man, it's crazy. When 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:54.160 my daughter first started administration, I didn't know what the 0:01:54.200 --> 0:01:56.240 hell to do, So it was totally different for me 0:01:56.760 --> 0:02:01.280 and I straight freaked out. But just being there for that, 0:02:01.920 --> 0:02:04.760 you know what I'm saying, and I'm running to my 0:02:04.880 --> 0:02:08.480 sister then, man, what I wanted to do, you know 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:13.880 what I'm saying, And they was like boy, calmed down. Boys. Yeah, 0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:16.880 but you know, just being around my you know, my daughter, 0:02:17.000 --> 0:02:20.040 you know, she was in the car with me every day. 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:21.720 You know, when I was up in the hood, she 0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:24.640 was in the cala with me every day. Why her 0:02:24.720 --> 0:02:27.320 mama went to work, and when her mama went off 0:02:27.360 --> 0:02:30.239 and did her thing, she was with me every day. 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:33.079 Your daughter is a real special, same thing with mine. 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:37.120 Um I guess from the ages of like one six, 0:02:37.200 --> 0:02:39.080 I want to do everything with it. When she first 0:02:39.080 --> 0:02:41.320 went to school, I hadn't even drive and drop her off. 0:02:41.360 --> 0:02:43.320 I would walk with her up to hold her hand, 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:45.720 hold her way to the class start. That's like I 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:47.560 didn't I didn't want to let her go. And the 0:02:47.600 --> 0:02:51.400 reason I'm mentioning our relationships with our daughters and M. 0:02:51.480 --> 0:02:54.640 C eight has daughters as well. As we're here with 0:02:54.720 --> 0:02:56.960 Ms April Rick, he sees the author of the book 0:02:57.080 --> 0:03:00.480 teach them their worth. A father is his daughter's is love. 0:03:00.639 --> 0:03:03.200 How you doing, April? I'm fine, Well, I'm happy to 0:03:03.240 --> 0:03:06.560 be here. Sure now you we've been talking a little 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:08.639 bit off camera, off the show and everything, and when 0:03:08.680 --> 0:03:10.600 you wrote this book, the thing that touched me with 0:03:10.680 --> 0:03:13.480 it is that you said that dad is his daughter's 0:03:13.480 --> 0:03:16.880 first love exactly, and that goes so and I started 0:03:16.880 --> 0:03:21.320 thinking about the dynamic between fathers and daughters. It's usually, however, 0:03:21.360 --> 0:03:23.880 the dady use that's the type of um man that 0:03:23.960 --> 0:03:27.640 the daughter winds up hooking up with. Right in some ways, Yeah, 0:03:28.120 --> 0:03:31.480 some ways we like for instance, it's not so much 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:34.640 it's because you're never gonna find a man like your father. Never, 0:03:34.960 --> 0:03:37.280 It's impossible. I've been told that you're looking for a 0:03:37.320 --> 0:03:40.320 man like your father. No, I'm not looking. I'll never 0:03:40.400 --> 0:03:44.280 find one exactly like my father. But those qualities is 0:03:44.320 --> 0:03:48.520 what we're looking for, those qualities that our father have. 0:03:48.960 --> 0:03:52.960 Is what if you have a good father, a loving 0:03:53.000 --> 0:03:56.800 and karen father, all the qualities that he has, of 0:03:56.880 --> 0:04:00.640 the qualities that you're gonna look for and are liustions ship, 0:04:01.360 --> 0:04:03.720 Yeah exactly. And that's the thing, you know, And I 0:04:03.760 --> 0:04:06.800 thought about the reversal of that too, you know, because 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:10.120 you have women that have issues, um like you know, 0:04:10.200 --> 0:04:13.440 the sisters that may be out there doing their things, 0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:16.320 selling their bodies, um the ones that may run into 0:04:16.400 --> 0:04:20.640 drug addiction or either into intive abusive relationships too. So 0:04:20.680 --> 0:04:22.760 it kind of works both ways. Would you say something 0:04:24.960 --> 0:04:27.159 blaming it on the father's shand is the father fulk 0:04:27.240 --> 0:04:29.280 that she's out there like that? You know, it's not 0:04:29.320 --> 0:04:31.880 it's not all but his fault because people make choices, 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:33.880 but he's a big part. He could be a big 0:04:33.920 --> 0:04:36.760 part of the reason. What happens when you have a father, 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:40.680 that dude that does everything, and then the mama breaks off, 0:04:40.920 --> 0:04:44.120 father breaks off the relationship with mama, and now the 0:04:44.200 --> 0:04:49.279 baby becomes upon. You can't see your baby if you 0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:51.280 don't this and that, if you don't this, the child 0:04:51.320 --> 0:04:54.800 supports ship. Um, come on, man, it's you know, some 0:04:54.960 --> 0:04:57.880 fathers can be fathers. Because you have too many mothers 0:04:57.880 --> 0:05:01.599 out there that's worried about something that exactly and a 0:05:01.600 --> 0:05:04.719 lot of those women they have something's wrong that they 0:05:04.800 --> 0:05:08.080 probably didn't have a father because they don't understand. Otherwise 0:05:08.080 --> 0:05:11.040 they would understand the dynamics that James is talking about. 0:05:11.440 --> 0:05:13.960 It wouldn't be that way. They would understand how important 0:05:14.000 --> 0:05:16.359 it is for him to be in his daughter's life 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:19.400 or who whatever, man, who, whichever, whoever it is, they 0:05:19.440 --> 0:05:22.960 would understand that it's important. You can't use a child 0:05:23.000 --> 0:05:26.600 as a pond, you know, it's not gonna get you anywhere. Ultimately, 0:05:26.720 --> 0:05:28.960 is just hurting the child. No, you can't. But you 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:31.520 know you have those girls and we all knew them 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:33.960 girls in high school that was like known for kind 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:37.159 of being kind of promiscuous, a lot of those girls 0:05:37.200 --> 0:05:40.279 that knew there was like that had issues with their 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:43.520 father or either had abandonment issues, their fathers wasn't at 0:05:43.560 --> 0:05:45.680 home with them, their fathers was locked up, and stuff 0:05:45.720 --> 0:05:48.159 like that. So I think ultimately a lot of women 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:50.920 may find themselves trying to replace that father figure, and 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:54.840 they do. You are absolutely right. Norm a lot of women, 0:05:55.320 --> 0:05:59.200 especially dogs, that are promiscuous. A lot of the reasons why, 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:01.799 it's because as they're looking for they're trying to understand. 0:06:01.800 --> 0:06:04.200 They don't know. They didn't have nobody to model what 0:06:04.279 --> 0:06:06.320 a man was, so they had to try to create 0:06:06.360 --> 0:06:08.560 that man in their own head and figure out, Okay, 0:06:08.680 --> 0:06:10.240 is this what a man? Is? This what a man 0:06:10.360 --> 0:06:14.159 is supposed to be, even controlling man. Some women think 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:17.680 that controlling means he loves me, you know, they think that. 0:06:17.800 --> 0:06:21.560 I've been told that before by women, that well, he 0:06:21.640 --> 0:06:23.760 loves me. You know, I didn't. I thought that that's 0:06:23.760 --> 0:06:25.440 what a man was supposed to do. You know, I'm 0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:27.919 supposed to do these things. I'm supposed to do whatever 0:06:28.000 --> 0:06:30.680 he says. But a lot of them have told me 0:06:30.720 --> 0:06:33.400 that the reason why they dealt with certain situations is 0:06:33.440 --> 0:06:36.640 because they had to figure out what a man was. 0:06:36.760 --> 0:06:38.960 They didn't have a father at home to teach him that. 0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:43.839 So you know, fathers get the bad end of the 0:06:43.920 --> 0:06:48.960 stick here because you know and and and let just say, father, 0:06:49.000 --> 0:06:52.239 ain't there. What's the strength of a black woman? Don't 0:06:53.080 --> 0:06:55.880 you know what I'm saying, Marty step up and she's 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:59.440 gonna take care of flock, right, So what what what? 0:06:59.440 --> 0:07:03.320 What daddy don't teach mama teaching? I had my mother 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:07.680 raised five and her three sons and and and one 0:07:07.760 --> 0:07:13.480 daughter was bad in the streets, hanging, but my mama 0:07:13.480 --> 0:07:16.280 still did it. You feel me. My mama taught me 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:20.000 a lot of street ship. She made me understand a 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:23.600 lot of things, even with our problems. So that's what 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:28.240 I'm saying, a black woman, the strength of a black woman, 0:07:28.560 --> 0:07:34.160 you can't measure that, you feel me, because she's so many, 0:07:34.440 --> 0:07:38.040 so many ways. It's so many things to her. Yeah, 0:07:38.080 --> 0:07:40.160 they do make a lot of stuff. Shake um on 0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:42.120 one thing that he was amazing. I ain't gonna get 0:07:42.160 --> 0:07:44.440 too much off topic about the black women is like 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:47.520 I thought about it one day, I said, man, how 0:07:47.560 --> 0:07:51.239 does somebody manage you know, they gotta pay for their rent. 0:07:52.200 --> 0:07:55.720 That might be in California, it could be eight dollars 0:07:55.720 --> 0:07:58.440 for one bed in my apartment, right and you may 0:07:58.520 --> 0:08:01.080 have two kids with a due. It ain't that it's 0:08:01.120 --> 0:08:04.920 non existent. That's not helping nothing financially. They gotta get 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:06.960 took care of. They need food, clothing, and shelter. And 0:08:07.000 --> 0:08:09.240 you wondered sometimes and they may be working a couple 0:08:09.280 --> 0:08:11.400 of jobs and taking care of the kids on top 0:08:11.440 --> 0:08:13.760 of that. And usually it's a grandma somewhere in the 0:08:13.800 --> 0:08:15.920 cut helping out. So then you got another black woman 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:19.320 the background is, you know, helping to make stuff possible. 0:08:19.400 --> 0:08:22.920 But you know, we're not talking about those type of situations. 0:08:22.920 --> 0:08:26.400 We're talking about the situations to where because sometimes a 0:08:26.520 --> 0:08:30.040 father can all that leads to it. Though, norm everything 0:08:30.080 --> 0:08:34.160 we're talking about leads to this book because and some 0:08:34.240 --> 0:08:37.440 of the situations we can be fathers because of the mother. 0:08:38.160 --> 0:08:41.360 You know, I'm saying and and being a parent that 0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:45.280 there is totally different from forty years ago, fifty years ago, 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:49.880 you know, And I can speak for myself being a father, 0:08:50.840 --> 0:08:53.640 and I'm in the streets. I gave the streets more 0:08:53.720 --> 0:08:58.040 time than I did, you know, with my son, with 0:08:58.120 --> 0:09:01.920 my first kid, and then when my second one came Okay, 0:09:02.679 --> 0:09:05.360 solow down a little bit. The third one came, Okay, 0:09:05.360 --> 0:09:07.079 I'm gonna cut to Jered Carroll. I'm gonna move and 0:09:07.080 --> 0:09:10.760 I'm gonna try to do this, but no serious talk. 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:15.440 You know, I'm speaking from experience being a father. I 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:18.800 gave everything I had, I gave my last I went 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:21.400 out there robbing and steel to get what they didn't have. 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:25.120 And then at the end of the day, when your 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:27.720 kids grow up, you and I thought I taught my 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:30.080 daughter everything. I thought she was gonna be the coldest 0:09:30.120 --> 0:09:33.520 book that walked around. You know what I'm saying, because 0:09:33.760 --> 0:09:36.480 I always told my daughter, you don't want no man 0:09:36.600 --> 0:09:40.160 like your daddy. You don't want no man like your uncle's. 0:09:41.080 --> 0:09:43.520 This is it right here. You see how your daddy 0:09:43.520 --> 0:09:46.480 and your uncle's is. You turn your head and run. 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:51.479 You feel me? So, you know, thinking that she understands 0:09:52.679 --> 0:09:55.120 when when when I released her, when I let her 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:58.600 go back to her mother, after the time I had 0:09:58.640 --> 0:10:01.920 with her and spent with her, she got pregnant and 0:10:01.960 --> 0:10:04.839 I didn't even know it. I'm you know, I'm like, damn, 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:08.120 where did I go wrong on that one? But she 0:10:08.320 --> 0:10:11.679 just wanted to be what her daddy was, what her 0:10:11.720 --> 0:10:15.840 mama was, and she daddy was her first love, and 0:10:15.920 --> 0:10:19.080 she just went gangster. You know, my daughter would fight boys, 0:10:19.120 --> 0:10:22.199 she wouldn't fight girls, you know what I'm saying. So 0:10:23.720 --> 0:10:26.960 it hurt me to lose my daughter to the system, 0:10:27.040 --> 0:10:30.599 the same system I went through. You feel me, So 0:10:31.400 --> 0:10:35.000 I didn't know how to relate to that. Right now 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:38.360 on the day I can't talk to you on the phone, 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:42.280 and these people saying you are talking to her made 0:10:42.320 --> 0:10:45.160 in the correctional I have sucked that. I don't. I 0:10:45.200 --> 0:10:50.200 wanted more for my daughter, but she felt victim to 0:10:50.240 --> 0:10:54.320 the street, just like I did. So I always you 0:10:54.400 --> 0:10:56.360 always tell me too. You feel like if your daughter 0:10:56.360 --> 0:10:59.839 would have stayed, your company stayed, she would have been 0:11:00.480 --> 0:11:02.640 everything would have been. I would have had her planet. 0:11:02.760 --> 0:11:05.560 I'd have had her planet. But it's never too late. 0:11:05.720 --> 0:11:08.400 You can still do it now. She come home, like 0:11:08.440 --> 0:11:10.520 I said, when she come home and get out of prison. 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:13.880 I went to prison one time and I realized it 0:11:13.960 --> 0:11:16.959 wasn't for me. So it's damn soon not gonna be 0:11:17.160 --> 0:11:19.640 a career for her. You know what I'm saying. I 0:11:19.679 --> 0:11:23.280 got her. I'm not dealing with this jail ship. I'm 0:11:23.320 --> 0:11:28.720 not been Uh pamp you because you knew better. And 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:30.680 just like when I went to prison, I didn't have 0:11:30.800 --> 0:11:33.240 my mom and daddy. You know what I'm saying. I 0:11:33.280 --> 0:11:36.640 had my son mother, and thank God for her, I 0:11:36.760 --> 0:11:39.280 was good. I was comfortable in prison. I had my 0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:43.120 levis and my tennis shoes and my packages, you know 0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:47.200 what I'm saying. And and long as her mama doing that, Okay, 0:11:47.200 --> 0:11:50.600 I'm cool. So I'm just waiting on her date so 0:11:51.080 --> 0:11:53.199 maybe I can come back in her life and be 0:11:53.360 --> 0:11:57.679 her father at a years old, nine years old, I'm 0:11:57.679 --> 0:12:03.680 still your daddy, Still got time. It's never too late, never. 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:07.640 I mean, you know this, this right here is is 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:11.760 It's a lot. This is where. This is where I mean, 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:16.160 this is a topic that touched me because my daughter 0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:19.400 not here. You know what I'm saying with me physically, 0:12:19.920 --> 0:12:22.360 you know what I'm saying. And when she come home, 0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:24.280 I don't know how mad Am. I am I going 0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:27.199 to act like a kid in in a chockolate factory. Am. 0:12:27.200 --> 0:12:30.240 I'm gonna be happy that she home. No, I want 0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:33.520 to see how my daughter grew orf or if her 0:12:33.600 --> 0:12:36.280 situation made her grow, you know what I'm saying. But 0:12:36.840 --> 0:12:39.640 I can only be her father. You know what I'm 0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:43.720 saying to start from today about yesterday, what happened yesterday. 0:12:43.760 --> 0:12:46.640 It starts when she comes on. You know, with all 0:12:46.679 --> 0:12:49.520 that being said, you don't heard these two men's perspectives 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:55.680 on everything. What was your inspiration to write this book? Okay, well, 0:12:55.880 --> 0:12:59.480 recently I lost my father in October. I lost my father. 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:04.120 He was my hero um and I had been rying 0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:06.880 many of many books. I've always been wanted to be 0:13:06.920 --> 0:13:10.680 a writer. I wanted to write books, screenplays, and I 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:16.040 started like maybe four But when he passed away, I 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:19.080 just had this desire to tell my story, you know, 0:13:19.200 --> 0:13:23.160 to help other to help other daughters and other fathers 0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:26.880 understand the importance because, like I told Norman James earlier, 0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:30.120 we don't hear that we always hear about mothers. Now, 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:32.800 this is not to bass mothers at all. We're talking 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:36.760 about fathers today. Mothers always gonna be on, you know, 0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:39.040 I mean, come on, Mother's Day is one of the 0:13:39.040 --> 0:13:43.200 biggest holidays, you know, But fathers need to understand how 0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:45.600 important they are. So the reason why I wrote the 0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:48.960 book was because my father was such He made such 0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:53.040 an impact in my life as a little girl, adolescent 0:13:53.559 --> 0:13:55.960 and woman still to this day. It's a lot of 0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:58.679 decisions that I make based on what I dealt with 0:13:58.679 --> 0:14:02.120 with my father, his wisdom, him his lessons, you know, 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:04.640 the care that he gave me, the attention that he 0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:07.680 showed me. It's very important. And like I was saying, 0:14:07.720 --> 0:14:10.400 it's never too late to do that. So this was 0:14:10.440 --> 0:14:13.640 my inspiration. Also, there's daughters out there that didn't have 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:16.839 a father. James just mentioned that. What about and then 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:21.080 also what about the daughters who mothers don't want the 0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:23.960 fathers to see them? Well, we got to change that. 0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:26.560 That's not good because it's not about you and the 0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:30.200 and the and your boyfriend or your husband. It's about 0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:33.440 your child. We gotta put them first. Because that girl 0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:35.600 or that that girl we're talking about, we an' talking 0:14:35.600 --> 0:14:37.560 about boys, but I'm just gonna mention them too. They're 0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:40.440 gonna grow up to be adults one day, you know, 0:14:40.960 --> 0:14:44.040 and they need to understand where how to be or 0:14:44.080 --> 0:14:46.280 he needs to understand how to be a man. And 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:49.120 she needs to understand what a woman should deal with, 0:14:49.320 --> 0:14:51.280 how much a woman should take. And that's what a 0:14:51.360 --> 0:14:54.080 father teaches your daughter. He doesn't teach her how to 0:14:54.160 --> 0:14:56.960 be a lady. He teaches her how to be treated, 0:14:57.840 --> 0:15:01.800 how she should be treated, you know, and so it is, 0:15:01.960 --> 0:15:04.720 you know, all right, hold on, hold on, let's drop 0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:06.800 a commercial real quick. We gotta pay some bills in here. 0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:11.560 How do you father to teach his daughter how to 0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:14.440 be a woman. He can't mother teaches you, you know, 0:15:14.520 --> 0:15:17.160 your mother, like norm said, your grandmother. Because some of 0:15:17.240 --> 0:15:19.680 us didn't have our mothers or our fathers, you know, 0:15:20.240 --> 0:15:23.600 but we might have somebody. Anybody has always had somebody 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:26.000 in their life. I'm sure that they looked up to 0:15:26.120 --> 0:15:29.560 whether it was a grandmother, big mama, big daddy, me ma. 0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:34.600 You know so, April, you're telling me that I can't 0:15:34.600 --> 0:15:38.280 instill in my daughter whether a woman should be or 0:15:38.320 --> 0:15:41.880 the type of just say advances. I want a specific woman, 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:45.520 you know what I'm saying. I can't explain to my 0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:49.240 daughter what type of woman I want to reflect on her, 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:53.800 just for her to just say, yeah, my daddy wanted 0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:56.000 a woman like that. I want a man that wants 0:15:56.120 --> 0:15:59.480 a woman, not a boy that wants to just play around. 0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:04.760 That he can daughter, Well, you know what you can 0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:07.520 teach well, you know you you really can't. What you 0:16:07.560 --> 0:16:10.760 can do is teach your your your whole role in 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:13.800 your daughter's life is to teach her what her worth 0:16:14.040 --> 0:16:16.440 is, is is, to teach her what self respect is, to 0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:19.480 teach her how the difference between a man that you 0:16:19.560 --> 0:16:21.480 got to stand at the door with your shotgun with 0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:24.080 or a man that's gonna come into that house and 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:27.920 respect your daughter and you, and when and how you 0:16:27.960 --> 0:16:29.880 want him to take care of your daughter? You know, 0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:33.560 who cares about that, that's what you want. So to 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:36.320 answer the question as far as teaching her what kind 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:38.800 of woman she should be, you you want to teach 0:16:38.800 --> 0:16:41.360 her that by the way you treat her. That's how 0:16:41.400 --> 0:16:43.880 she's gonna know what kind of man she should deal with. 0:16:44.120 --> 0:16:46.560 She's gonna know that by the way her father treats her. 0:16:47.200 --> 0:16:50.520 You know, if he if he says, if he communicates 0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:52.720 with her. It's really important that you sit down to 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:56.840 communicate with your daughter. Don't judge her, don't talk at her, 0:16:56.920 --> 0:17:00.320 talk to her, you know, um, let her know that 0:17:00.480 --> 0:17:02.440 you you you want to know what's going on in 0:17:02.480 --> 0:17:04.959 her life. I talked to a lot of men, and 0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:08.879 even my doctor recently told me, what you brought a book? 0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:12.480 What is it about? I told him it's something called 0:17:12.520 --> 0:17:14.440 teach them of their work. You know. He's like, well, 0:17:14.440 --> 0:17:16.760 what is that about. I told him. He's like, oh 0:17:16.800 --> 0:17:19.159 my god, I need one of them. I'm dealing with 0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:22.240 girls right now that they have boyfriends, and every sense 0:17:22.280 --> 0:17:24.480 they got boyfriends, they don't deal with me no more. 0:17:24.520 --> 0:17:27.119 I don't know what's going on. The communication ain't there, 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:29.920 you know, and I want to know what's going on. 0:17:30.040 --> 0:17:31.920 I still want them to know that, you know, I'm 0:17:31.960 --> 0:17:34.680 still their daddy, you know. So I told him sit 0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:36.560 down and talk to him. The best thing you could 0:17:36.560 --> 0:17:39.120 do is start asking them about the guy that they're 0:17:39.119 --> 0:17:41.320 dealing with, you know, so you can learn more about 0:17:41.359 --> 0:17:43.840 them and make sure they're being treated right. That's a 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:46.400 hard rule for That's a hard peal for day to swallow, 0:17:46.440 --> 0:17:48.879 because I know, prior to my little girl, you know, 0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:51.600 coming of age, I always said she but not ever 0:17:51.640 --> 0:17:58.160 had no boyfriend when you and so when she did 0:17:58.240 --> 0:18:00.959 get one, I didn't feel I got thoughts gonna beat 0:18:01.000 --> 0:18:02.879 because I saw the way the young man was and 0:18:02.920 --> 0:18:05.400 he had good parents. The thing that struck me good 0:18:05.400 --> 0:18:08.159 with him was his parents cared about him like I 0:18:08.240 --> 0:18:09.960 care about my daughter. So if he was over there, 0:18:10.000 --> 0:18:12.160 I was getting a call from Miss Pop saying are 0:18:12.200 --> 0:18:14.280 you home, Mr Steele, was my son is saying that 0:18:14.520 --> 0:18:17.000 you said it was cool he came over. I liked that, 0:18:17.119 --> 0:18:19.440 and I'd get advice versa. She said, she going over there, 0:18:19.520 --> 0:18:22.320 y'all at home, because I'm not gonna make it convenient 0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:24.560 for y'all to go make me no grandfather all earlier 0:18:24.520 --> 0:18:25.880 and stuff, you know what I mean. So I'm gonna 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:27.480 make sure that we don't get y'all to me the 0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:31.040 my opportunities, you know what I mean. But my daughter, 0:18:31.359 --> 0:18:34.560 and she really liked this young man, but she decided 0:18:34.600 --> 0:18:37.440 to transfer schools for her senior year and he graduated 0:18:37.560 --> 0:18:40.159 last year, and it was a situation when she told him, 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:42.200 I'm gonna transfer over here because of this, this and 0:18:42.240 --> 0:18:45.639 the third. You know, he made a big deal with 0:18:45.680 --> 0:18:47.040 why are you going over there? I don't want you 0:18:47.080 --> 0:18:48.919 to go over there because this, this and that, and 0:18:48.960 --> 0:18:50.919 she said, but what are you saying about me? She 0:18:51.080 --> 0:18:53.440 was really offending, and she broke up with him. I'm 0:18:53.480 --> 0:18:55.760 talking about crying the whole first two days and everything. 0:18:55.800 --> 0:18:58.200 But she says, I can't beat with nobody that would 0:18:58.960 --> 0:19:01.280 just stopped me from stop me from doing whatout doing. 0:19:01.280 --> 0:19:04.240 And then she said she felt that that was disrespectful 0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:06.479 because she said, you know, what are you telling me? 0:19:06.560 --> 0:19:09.879 You think? I'm like, like, why would I be because 0:19:09.880 --> 0:19:13.440 it's boys over there, boys everywhere exactly. But she didn't 0:19:13.480 --> 0:19:21.720 like that, you know, because she she I ain't gonna 0:19:21.760 --> 0:19:27.200 let no relationship at this time. The only seventeen tell 0:19:27.280 --> 0:19:30.040 me that I shouldn't get education and I shouldn't go 0:19:30.119 --> 0:19:34.359 where I think it's best for me to get. So boy, 0:19:34.480 --> 0:19:36.800 going about your business, let me hand my business, and 0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:40.360 I about the relationship later. And you know, I missed 0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:42.840 the ear hustle right at night because you can hear everything, 0:19:43.080 --> 0:19:45.320 you know, because she wasn't talked to him, and then 0:19:45.440 --> 0:19:47.040 you know, I hear to find what like, you know, 0:19:47.080 --> 0:19:49.360 she talked to him and then she got him kind 0:19:49.400 --> 0:19:51.240 of on the speaker, so I can hear everything he's saying. 0:19:51.280 --> 0:19:53.000 So I'm staying out the door. He's like, well, I'm 0:19:53.000 --> 0:19:54.600 just gonna go to the army because I love you 0:19:54.640 --> 0:19:57.359 so much. I don't know. And he said, that's fine. 0:19:57.400 --> 0:19:58.720 If you do that and it's gonna make you a 0:19:58.760 --> 0:20:00.520 better person, go do it, but don't do it for me. 0:20:00.600 --> 0:20:05.520 Do that for yourself. Oh good, he said, And I said, okay, 0:20:05.600 --> 0:20:08.960 I and that's a lot of times as a father, 0:20:09.119 --> 0:20:11.800 because you know, it's a lot of pops out that 0:20:11.800 --> 0:20:14.919 it's real strict with their daughters. I just know, to me, 0:20:15.040 --> 0:20:17.040 that's the wrong way to do stuff because I don't 0:20:17.040 --> 0:20:20.040 want my kids ever to sneak and do ship. That's 0:20:20.040 --> 0:20:22.840 for people getting drunk. I don't want to. I want 0:20:22.920 --> 0:20:24.359 them to be able to communication. So if you got 0:20:24.400 --> 0:20:27.320 a boyfriend, yeah, I would rather have a little boyfriend 0:20:27.440 --> 0:20:29.040 over at my house where I keep buying on them 0:20:29.040 --> 0:20:31.120 and look at him on my phone from upstairs like, yeah, 0:20:31.200 --> 0:20:33.679 you're gonna sitting a little too closely and telling the 0:20:33.720 --> 0:20:35.639 move over a little bit to the left. You know, 0:20:36.080 --> 0:20:38.000 I would I would rather be able to see you 0:20:38.200 --> 0:20:40.440 and have you in my house and have you around. Sure, 0:20:40.480 --> 0:20:41.960 I take you all the movies and you know where 0:20:41.960 --> 0:20:44.639 my daughter is at, versus me telling them all you 0:20:44.680 --> 0:20:46.760 can't do that. It's like you don't know which your 0:20:46.800 --> 0:20:50.160 key is capable of exactly. Sure, would you agree that 0:20:50.440 --> 0:20:54.560 is really not the kids because your daughter is gonna 0:20:54.560 --> 0:20:59.760 act out. It starts with the mother of the father, definitely, 0:21:00.000 --> 0:21:02.000 you know what I'm saying. Definitely starts with the mother 0:21:02.000 --> 0:21:04.800 and the father, And like these days, we got mommy 0:21:04.920 --> 0:21:09.359