Speaker 1: Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Hey, y'all, I think this
Speaker 1: conversation with Pastor mic Todd is going to be transformative
Speaker 1: for those that will listen with an open mind and
Speaker 1: an open heart. That you will listen with an open
Speaker 1: mind and an open heart. And if you're able to
Speaker 1: get to the end of my conversation, I'm gonna surprise
Speaker 1: him too. But I'm going to surprise you, and I
Speaker 1: want you to listen to the end of the conversation
Speaker 1: for some specific instructions that I am going to give.
Speaker 1: Pastor mic Todd is a number one New York Times
Speaker 1: bestselling author, pastor of Transformation Church in Tulsa, oakal lie
Speaker 1: A Homer, a phenomenal musician and producer, and it's good
Speaker 1: to hear him picking up music again. And we'll talk
Speaker 1: about that. We'll talk about how sometimes, you know, do
Speaker 1: you feel like you have to lay something down for
Speaker 1: a season because of something else that you're maybe called
Speaker 1: to do a purpose to do. So you gotta lay
Speaker 1: one thing down, do your assignment, and then come back
Speaker 1: up and pick up the other thing that you're also
Speaker 1: gifted at too. So I'm excited to hear his take
Speaker 1: on all of that. And so y'all stay locked in.
Speaker 1: Pastor Mike Todd is in the building, y'all listen. I
Speaker 1: am very excited to have on checking in Pastor Mike Todd. Now,
Speaker 1: if you read the book, he tells you his whole
Speaker 1: government name. Okay, on like the first page of Damage
Speaker 1: but Not Destroyed, y'all. I'm so excited because Damage but
Speaker 1: Not Destroyed is available now today. T U h d
Speaker 1: A y okay. So I'm gonna make him blush a
Speaker 1: little bit. But all I'm gonna do is speak facts.
Speaker 2: Oh no, okay.
Speaker 1: He is the number one New York Times bestselling author.
Speaker 1: All right, two million now, two million copies sold of
Speaker 1: his first book, Relationship Goals.
Speaker 2: That's crazy, right, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: How do you feel.
Speaker 3: About that number one? I'm talking to Michelle Willions.
Speaker 1: It's good to be on the New York Times bestseller list.
Speaker 1: I thought I was gonna make it. I didn't make it.
Speaker 1: I want I could have been number twenty nine on
Speaker 1: the best but you number one.
Speaker 3: But this is better than the New York's Time bestseller list.
Speaker 3: Because I'm on a podcast with Michelle Williams. Do you
Speaker 3: know how much of an intricate part you were of
Speaker 3: my upbringing? Okay, save my name and save my name.
Speaker 3: I just needed you to know.
Speaker 1: That's one of the chapters of the book.
Speaker 3: Okay, keep going, Okay, we don't give it away yet,
Speaker 3: don't give it away yet. We talked about that in
Speaker 3: a minute. But I am so excited to be here
Speaker 3: with you. I feel like you're my sister. We got
Speaker 3: to meet for just a little moment in Atlanta, and
Speaker 3: it was like, where have you been all my life?
Speaker 3: And it's just really one of those cool, cool moments
Speaker 3: to connect with people who actually care about doing the
Speaker 3: inner work as well as all the things that are
Speaker 3: happening in public. So yeah, I wrote a book about
Speaker 3: relationship goes about me and my wife, who I've been
Speaker 3: dating since I was fourteen years old. Is when I
Speaker 3: met her, and literally all the ups and downs, trials, tribulations,
Speaker 3: crazy moments and our story of redemption and just some
Speaker 3: things that people could be helped in relationship because people
Speaker 3: kind of fail at that a lot in this day
Speaker 3: and age. And I put it out in the middle
Speaker 3: of a pandemic. I'd never written a book before I
Speaker 3: barely passed math, math, and English high school. So it
Speaker 3: was like, I mean, let me just share something that
Speaker 3: I think is valuable, and I mean it went crazy
Speaker 3: and people bought it all over the world. And to
Speaker 3: think that's the first time I've heard the two million number.
Speaker 3: That's ridiculous. Like the fact that that book has gone on.
Speaker 3: I just pray that it's a blessing to people for
Speaker 3: a long long time.
Speaker 2: And help people win. In Mayorage dating and checks that's it.
Speaker 1: And he smiled really big too when he got to
Speaker 1: say that because he got somebody, he gets to go
Speaker 1: home to.
Speaker 2: His wife, Glory to the living God.
Speaker 1: Listen, listen, listen, Lord, help me too. Oh don't and
Speaker 1: I have. It wasn't nothing. It wasn't y'all listening. It
Speaker 1: wasn't none of your business. But yes, okay.
Speaker 2: Another fact is.
Speaker 1: That you are the lead pastor of Transformation Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Speaker 2: I am, okay, I am, and I love it.
Speaker 1: And there's so many ways I can go relationship, go
Speaker 1: the faith testimony of how you guys acquired the building
Speaker 1: and just your whole journey. It would take hours to
Speaker 1: talk about it. But I also want to tell people. Y'all,
Speaker 1: he is a phenomenal musician, producer. I say, a.
Speaker 2: Musician, Michelle, you're doing too much, too much. I know
Speaker 2: we're here to.
Speaker 1: Talk about damage but not destroyed, from trauma to triumph.
Speaker 1: I get it, and we're gonna get there. But y'all,
Speaker 1: he's more than pastoring.
Speaker 2: Is that's the thing.
Speaker 1: And we'll talk about a choice that you might have
Speaker 1: had to make. Okay, let's just let's do that.
Speaker 2: The choice just going. Let's go and do it.
Speaker 1: The choice that you possibly had to make to lay
Speaker 1: down music to go into ministry. Now, music can be ministry,
Speaker 1: but I'm just saying in the form of ministry that
Speaker 1: you now you had to lay down the desire to
Speaker 1: be the artist and producer musician.
Speaker 3: So part of part of my journey is I tell
Speaker 3: people all the time, you are not what you do
Speaker 3: only and a lot of people so many times they
Speaker 3: wrap their entire identity off of whatever became successful. And
Speaker 3: one of the things that I a six minutes in, oh,
Speaker 3: I thought we was I thought we came to do
Speaker 3: it like I thought this was that podcast, so we
Speaker 3: could go all the way in.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: So, and so the truth of the matter is a
Speaker 3: lot of people, whatever successful, they think that's where they
Speaker 3: should rest all of their identity and purpose. But the
Speaker 3: one thing I learned very early on is that God
Speaker 3: never gives people just one seed. He gives so many
Speaker 3: seeds on the inside. It depends on what you water.
Speaker 3: And on the inside of me, there were so many
Speaker 3: seeds music and speaking and creative and all these things,
Speaker 3: and I decided that at a young age, I was
Speaker 3: going to water all of them. And so when the
Speaker 3: fruits started coming from all of them, I had to
Speaker 3: make a decision to begin to ask God what was
Speaker 3: my assignment, not my opportunity. And a lot of people
Speaker 3: right now are caught because they have so many opportunities
Speaker 3: and they don't know what an assignment is. And that's
Speaker 3: where I'm here to really tell this generation that you
Speaker 3: only can get an assignment from God.
Speaker 2: But if you good, you can have tons of opportunities.
Speaker 3: And so my my journey took me to a place
Speaker 3: where the greatest thing that I do is never what
Speaker 3: can I do?
Speaker 2: It's what does God want me to do?
Speaker 3: And that's where I think a lot of people are
Speaker 3: off right now. Somebody could offer me a lot of
Speaker 3: money to do something I'm good at but I knew
Speaker 3: it wouldn't be my assignment, and so that thing wouldn't
Speaker 3: be blessed for me. And so I just know that
Speaker 3: for me, that's what happened. In the music and ministry.
Speaker 3: I would have been successful as a music producer. I
Speaker 3: probably would have produced your third album. I probably would
Speaker 3: have done all of those different things. And now there's
Speaker 3: still an opportunity I would I would have been I
Speaker 3: would have been there. But at the same token, God's
Speaker 3: timing is perfect. When you obey him, he brings everything
Speaker 3: back around. He wastes nothing. There is nothing that he's
Speaker 3: going to put on the inside of you that he's
Speaker 3: going to leave on the.
Speaker 2: Inside of you. Is just about timing.
Speaker 3: And so now is the season where I'm getting to
Speaker 3: walk into a whole bunch of music opportunities.
Speaker 2: People that I love, like.
Speaker 3: Michelle Williams, I'm sitting on the phone with So if
Speaker 3: I had a track, I could text it to you
Speaker 3: right now.
Speaker 2: Did you understand what I'm saying?
Speaker 3: Like, following his purpose leads me into the thing that
Speaker 3: I love, and that's a passion.
Speaker 1: Wow. I don't have no title or anything in church,
Speaker 1: but I'm hearing Seki first, the kingdom, Oh yeah, I've got.
Speaker 2: In Matthew six thirty three.
Speaker 3: Yes, And then everything else gets at it, and a
Speaker 3: lot of people are seeking the things. They're going after
Speaker 3: the things instead of him, and they go after the
Speaker 3: things what I say, instead of the king. And the
Speaker 3: King actually knows the playbook, he knows the lay of
Speaker 3: the land, he knows what he wants for you to do.
Speaker 3: And I've just found in my short little life of
Speaker 3: a lot of impact comes from places I didn't think
Speaker 3: it was gonna come from because I did it in
Speaker 3: the timing that God wanted it to happen, not in
Speaker 3: the timing that I wanted it to happen. And the
Speaker 3: more you like lean into that and get into that lane,
Speaker 3: you don't have to worry nothing I'm doing right now.
Speaker 3: I have to hold up. I just got to show
Speaker 3: up like I'm not trying to hold things together. I'm
Speaker 3: not trying to finesse and do all of these things
Speaker 3: that a lot of people have to do. And that's
Speaker 3: what causes stress, that's what causes burnout, and that's what
Speaker 3: causes trauma. And so a lot of people have to
Speaker 3: really real themselves back in to figure out what's my assignment,
Speaker 3: not just what's my opportunity?
Speaker 1: Well, am I allowed to say your word success fueled
Speaker 1: by the wrong source is.
Speaker 2: Just stress that that's it.
Speaker 1: Is taken from damage but not destroyed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know that's the truth.
Speaker 1: And I'm so excited about that. I want to pivot
Speaker 1: back to something you said about assignments versus opportunities. Do
Speaker 1: you feel that's why so many people maybe are not
Speaker 1: fulfilled or they don't ever complete anything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's exactly the reason is because if you're not
Speaker 3: attached to something bigger than you, something that's outside of you,
Speaker 3: something that is for somebody else that benefits you, but
Speaker 3: it honestly helps the world. We were built with that
Speaker 3: on the inside of us, Like we were built to
Speaker 3: be generous.
Speaker 2: We were built to give what God's given us away.
Speaker 3: And so many times, like people chase after bags and
Speaker 3: they lose the blessing, Like the bag is not the blessing.
Speaker 3: The blessing is I'm doing what i was called to do.
Speaker 3: I'm helping somebody, I'm walking in purpose. And so if
Speaker 3: I could give any message to my peers in this
Speaker 3: generation is like you've tried it, You've tried to go
Speaker 3: after the bag.
Speaker 2: You've gone on.
Speaker 3: Vacations, you catching flights, you burkinged up, you got Louie
Speaker 3: and Dewey and gooy. You've done everything, and at the
Speaker 3: end of the day, sitting in that penthouse apartner, you
Speaker 3: still feel empty, Like there's no way that that was
Speaker 3: the thing that was supposed to fill you.
Speaker 2: It has to be something else. And that's why I'm
Speaker 2: telling people right.
Speaker 3: Now, a lot of those things that we're talking about,
Speaker 3: they're coping mechanisms for trauma we've experienced. If we want
Speaker 3: to be honest about it, like a lot of us
Speaker 3: going after the opportunities and the thing is because I
Speaker 3: don't really want to deal what's going on inside of me.
Speaker 2: So let me go and be successful.
Speaker 3: Come on, let me go out here and let me
Speaker 3: try to prove that I'm worth something, that I still
Speaker 3: have value that when I post on Instagram with old.
Speaker 2: Boy or old girl like that validates me.
Speaker 3: And I'm telling you all that stuff is a quick
Speaker 3: way to just burn out and not actually have any
Speaker 3: real fulfillment in life. And so I'm just encouraging people like,
Speaker 3: evaluate what you do for real and then see if
Speaker 3: there's anything attached to it. That is traumatizing to you,
Speaker 3: and it's the reason you do it, because if we
Speaker 3: don't deal with the root of it, we'll never be
Speaker 3: able to get better.
Speaker 2: Fruit.
Speaker 1: Listen, I would have say this. There's something I was
Speaker 1: gonna say to Okay, let's be transparent.
Speaker 2: Humble, open and transparent. Let's go. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was gonna go into that too. I used to buy,
Speaker 1: especially cars, every time I would break.
Speaker 3: App Yes, everybody not, but everybody, I just need to
Speaker 3: let you know this can This may not be your testimony,
Speaker 3: but we are talking to Michelle Williams.
Speaker 1: Go ahead, listen, and my mama, my mama, start your amen.
Speaker 1: My mama noticed a pattern. And one day I bought
Speaker 1: a car and she said, who'd you break up with?
Speaker 1: And so I had to trauma wise, what was in
Speaker 1: me that was trying to replace something that's gone on,
Speaker 1: something that's left. Now, when you get on assignment and
Speaker 1: you get in purpose the things that you thought you
Speaker 1: even wanted, you don't even want him no more.
Speaker 2: You don't even want it no more.
Speaker 1: You don't want him her or the car. You don't.
Speaker 2: You don't.
Speaker 1: So, by the way, and I didn't read the room.
Speaker 1: I did not say that to to flex, I pray
Speaker 1: on my heart.
Speaker 3: No, that's her real life. Everybody that that was her
Speaker 3: real life. Okay that that that may not be your
Speaker 3: real life, but that's her.
Speaker 2: Well some of y'all.
Speaker 1: You you might be standing in the Michael Kors line,
Speaker 1: the Louis Maton line to get their purse to get.
Speaker 3: Or or Michelle they may they may be in front
Speaker 3: of the refrigerator. Because the truth of the matter is,
Speaker 3: many times, a lot of the things that we put
Speaker 3: in our mouth are because of what we don't have.
Speaker 2: In our lives.
Speaker 3: Yes, sir, a lot of times it's it's we're eating
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get some cake because I'm gonna feel good today,
Speaker 3: Like I'm gonna I'm gonna go have me a double
Speaker 3: dip of whatever this ice cream is and I feel
Speaker 3: better because they say it's vegan.
Speaker 2: But that don't take the sugar out of it.
Speaker 3: The under sad what I'm saying, And the truth of
Speaker 3: the matter is a lot of times we need to
Speaker 3: evaluate what we put in because what we don't feel
Speaker 3: like we have within that is a real value metric
Speaker 3: that everybody needs to evaluate. More clothes, more friends, more opportunities,
Speaker 3: more success. Do you actually need more or are you
Speaker 3: trying to feel a god hole is what I call it,
Speaker 3: with things that will never be able to fit in
Speaker 3: that space in your life.
Speaker 1: And y'all listen, don't be like me, because I was
Speaker 1: always upside down in every trade because the Lord didn't
Speaker 1: want me. It never worked out for me, you know,
Speaker 1: always trying to replace stuff. So don't do that, y'all.
Speaker 1: To finish out the loan, finish out the least of
Speaker 1: the thing, and it's so you won't be upside down.
Speaker 1: And really the lesson is we dig ourselves into financial holes,
Speaker 1: we dig ourselves into emotional pits and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: So fine purpose get healed, so that way we're not
Speaker 1: trying to replace stuff. You said some things that were
Speaker 1: also snippets to y'all. I gotta keep talking about the
Speaker 1: book I personally passed through my TID. I asked for
Speaker 1: an advanced copy of the book because they got it
Speaker 1: to me, and because I despise when I write a
Speaker 1: book or put out music, the person that's interviewing me,
Speaker 1: they don't read or listen to it, and then they
Speaker 1: got to ask me dumb questions. I appreciate that, so
Speaker 1: I want the interview, to go beyond what surface. What
Speaker 1: we can google, you can't get a book get So
Speaker 1: there are some things. I won't give the book away,
Speaker 1: but it really you can give it away.
Speaker 2: You can give it away. I want them to be here.
Speaker 1: Listen. It touched me so much, damaged but not destroyed,
Speaker 1: from trauma to triumph. You talk about so much, you're
Speaker 1: so honest. I just transparent, and you get so vulnerable.
Speaker 1: You get so vulnerable, y'all the endorsements preached.
Speaker 3: I got some good friends, I got some good endorsements preach.
Speaker 1: Okay, so y'all get the book so you can know
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about, and you'll be like, okay, I
Speaker 1: gotta get a chapter one. But let me let me
Speaker 1: tell you what I said. I said, you are very honest, transparent,
Speaker 1: and you get very vulnerable in this book, to the
Speaker 1: point where I read the book with one hand over
Speaker 1: one eye A little bit. Yeah, because when someone gets
Speaker 1: there's a difference between vulnerable and being transparent. Being transparent
Speaker 1: is yeah. I used to buy cars when I would
Speaker 1: break up with people. But being vulnerable, being vulnerable. You
Speaker 1: tell how you felt about the thing. I felt like crap,
Speaker 1: I felt horrible. I felt used, I felt less than
Speaker 1: and you say all so many things about yourself, yourself aware,
Speaker 1: you don't blame shift and blame anybody else. And it
Speaker 1: also rattled a thing or two in me that let
Speaker 1: me know, Sis, oh you need to process this hit.
Speaker 1: You took a little more.
Speaker 3: This is actually I'm getting goosebumps because this is the
Speaker 3: reaction that I wanted, because I said, if somebody's gonna
Speaker 3: get healed, you know, when you're going through something and
Speaker 3: you're like, well, who's gonna go to the dance floor first?
Speaker 3: Like it's a party, but everybody's standing on the side
Speaker 3: and the music is going, and everybody looking who's.
Speaker 1: Gonna go to the buffet line? Because you don't want
Speaker 1: to look greedy?
Speaker 2: Yeah, who's gonna do it first? Yeah?
Speaker 3: And everybody hungry and everybody is hurting, But who's gonna
Speaker 3: go first? And And for me, even with the position
Speaker 3: that I hold this pastor many times pastors we put
Speaker 3: it on people we know y'all are struggling with and
Speaker 3: we know y'all a da da da. And I was like,
Speaker 3: I want to take a whole different approach. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: put myself on blast. I'm gonna I'm gonna say everything
Speaker 3: that the Lord has been doing in me from the
Speaker 3: time of two years old all the way up to
Speaker 3: almost forty. I want to use this as a playbook.
Speaker 3: This is the book that people write when they're seventy.
Speaker 3: And I said, the problem is it's too far removed
Speaker 3: from when I need to do the work. And so
Speaker 3: I want to remember this fresh and I want I
Speaker 3: want to hopefully inspire somebody to do the work, because
Speaker 3: the life on the other side of doing the work
Speaker 3: of walking out this healing journey, It's like my life
Speaker 3: went from black and white to color. And I tell
Speaker 3: people in the book, I said, there's nothing like a
Speaker 3: hit you don't see coming. And many of us don't
Speaker 3: recognize that A lot of the things when we're one
Speaker 3: hit away from totally breaking because we haven't dealt with
Speaker 3: none of our issh excuse me for my language, but
Speaker 3: I'm just telling you that some of you are one
Speaker 3: disappointment away, one frustration away, one job loss away, one
Speaker 3: breakup away from your whole world crumbling. Not because it
Speaker 3: has to, it's me because you've been holding so much
Speaker 3: stuff together that you have not really dealt with. You've
Speaker 3: pushed it down you've buried it. You visit your family
Speaker 3: every Thanksgiving and every Christmas with problems, but you never
Speaker 3: say anything. And when you get in the car, you
Speaker 3: just cuss and scream and get frustrated. There's so much
Speaker 3: on the inside of us, but we're not letting that
Speaker 3: thing out in a way that would be healthy. And
Speaker 3: I'm just telling people, like, listen, this is the season
Speaker 3: where you allow everything that's happened to you no longer
Speaker 3: to find you.
Speaker 2: But you cannot ignore it. You gotta face it.
Speaker 3: You gotta walk up to it and say you are
Speaker 3: no longer the thing that will be able to put
Speaker 3: me in my ship.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna deal with you.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna handle you, and with God's help and God's
Speaker 3: grace and counseling and community and being honest, those things
Speaker 3: can actually turn your pain into your platform. I'm here
Speaker 3: talking about all the crap that I went through and
Speaker 3: it's going to help people and it's gonna see me and.
Speaker 2: My wife on vacation.
Speaker 3: So I'm just saying, like, the pain can become your platform,
Speaker 3: and God can use all of your trauma and turn
Speaker 3: it into your trump.
Speaker 1: Come on, listen, listen, y'all, y'all should see my posture.
Speaker 1: I'm making that ugly face you make in church when
Speaker 1: the pastor is just dropping gems. And that that's another
Speaker 1: thing I want to say when you. When I was
Speaker 1: reading reading your new book, first of all, I want
Speaker 1: to say, I was reading it in your voice, because
Speaker 1: you have to.
Speaker 2: You got you gotta.
Speaker 1: Read it in his voice, in his manner asm. And
Speaker 1: then there's a portion in the book where I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: he preaching, and I read it. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take this, and I'm a hoop with a
Speaker 1: little bit.
Speaker 2: So I'm there you ready to go ahead and do it?
Speaker 1: So listen because then your the book you say that
Speaker 1: no matter what happened to you, no matter who hurt you,
Speaker 1: no matter how you feel, I want you to know
Speaker 1: if this value is still in you, touch it ever
Speaker 1: say say it's sin, you a sin, it's.
Speaker 2: Genuine, send you, it's sending you, it's send you to
Speaker 2: It is in.
Speaker 1: You, and so thank you. I thought I went to
Speaker 1: enough therapy and I volunteer at a healing retreat. But again,
Speaker 1: damage but not destroyed definitely, says sus. You need to
Speaker 1: unpack this, you need to process this. Now, remember I said,
Speaker 1: we got to read the book in your voice. Will
Speaker 1: there be an audiobook?
Speaker 3: There is already an audio book. It is done, it
Speaker 3: is finished. I gave you my whole thing. When I
Speaker 3: write a book or when I do something. I was
Speaker 3: never a big book reader when I was younger. I
Speaker 3: like to watch things. I like to see them. I
Speaker 3: like to visualize it. And as I got older and
Speaker 3: got into the professional pastoring and had to open businesses
Speaker 3: and do anything, reading is fundamental. You got to be
Speaker 3: able to read. So I started reading a lot more.
Speaker 3: But one of the things that I realized is that
Speaker 3: you can read in a way that it seems live like,
Speaker 3: it seems real.
Speaker 2: You can put the picture in people's mind.
Speaker 3: And so for anybody who's not a big reader, I'm
Speaker 3: telling you, when you read this book, like Michelle said,
Speaker 3: you'll see it. You'll hear me, You'll see it. It's vivid.
Speaker 3: I pull on cultural things to be able to bring
Speaker 3: your mind to where I'm at, and I think it's
Speaker 3: all important so that we can actually get the message.
Speaker 3: And I really do believe the message of my life
Speaker 3: is no matter how much you've been damaged, they're still
Speaker 3: value in you. I literally had somebody Michelle, give me
Speaker 3: a gift that was a regift. It was an expensive gift,
Speaker 3: but the box was jacked up and the wrapping paper
Speaker 3: was messed up. And the truth of the matter is
Speaker 3: is that no matter that the wrapping paper was ripped
Speaker 3: and the box was tattered, the value of that gift
Speaker 3: was in the content that was inside of it.
Speaker 2: And so many people.
Speaker 3: In this life, they've had their relationships ripped up, they've
Speaker 3: had their character scarred and marred.
Speaker 2: But the truth of the matter is who God's really
Speaker 2: created you to be.
Speaker 3: That essence of who you are is still good and
Speaker 3: is still valuable, And the price of the thing did
Speaker 3: not change because the box or the rapping was jacked up.
Speaker 3: You take those things out that God has placed on
Speaker 3: the inside of you, and you got to realize that
Speaker 3: the value is still in you. And that's my encouragement
Speaker 3: to people who've lost, who've gone through divorce, who've had
Speaker 3: bad relationships, who have not been able to see the
Speaker 3: success that they wanted to see. Yeah, you got some scratches,
Speaker 3: and you've got some ribs, and you've got some tatters,
Speaker 3: but I promise you who you really are the most
Speaker 3: valuable part of you is still waiting for the world
Speaker 3: to see it. And if you would allow yourself to
Speaker 3: heal from some of the things that have happened, I
Speaker 3: promise you you're gonna be able to help so many people.
Speaker 1: Listen, everything that you need is on the other side
Speaker 1: of your healing. And we talked about loss. I wanted
Speaker 1: to ask you definitely how what you're saying can also
Speaker 1: apply to grief, but you kind of touched it a
Speaker 1: little bit.
Speaker 3: I'm touching it because I feel the audience that is
Speaker 3: listening to this, and I know that many people have
Speaker 3: lost things. I mean, we're coming we're three years removed
Speaker 3: from COVID, where that literally shifted the life of so
Speaker 3: many people, whether it was you lost an actual loved one,
Speaker 3: you lost business, you lost money, and that was a
Speaker 3: time for some people that they gained a lot, but
Speaker 3: they lost priority and they lost focus. So you got
Speaker 3: a bunch of money, but your children got lost in
Speaker 3: the mix of all of that stuff. A loss comes
Speaker 3: at a lot of different ways. The thing that you
Speaker 3: have to understand is the fact that you're still existing
Speaker 3: does not mean that you're actually thriving. And a lot
Speaker 3: of people I'm finding are existing, they're going through the
Speaker 3: they're doing what's necessary, but they're not actually living the
Speaker 3: life that I believe God intended for them to live.
Speaker 3: And that's why I think trauma makes you numb like
Speaker 3: that's what it does. It makes you not feel the
Speaker 3: things that you actually feel. And just think about a
Speaker 3: car accident. A lot of times when if you ever
Speaker 3: get in a car accident, and I pray nobody does,
Speaker 3: but if you've ever been in one, you can sometimes
Speaker 3: jump out of the car on adrenaline. You don't feel
Speaker 3: what's going on. Oh no, no, no, I'm fine. I'm fine,
Speaker 3: I'm fine. Everything is moving, but it's not until you
Speaker 3: sit still. It's not until you get into a relaxed position.
Speaker 3: It's not until the heightened moment passes that you actually
Speaker 3: start to feel what happened. And may I submit to
Speaker 3: us that many of us are so busy that we
Speaker 3: never let ourselves get into the point where we can
Speaker 3: feel it. We stay so inebriated with being outside and
Speaker 3: going from event to event and being in relationship to relationship.
Speaker 3: You're in your third relationship in two years, and you
Speaker 3: never hear from the one before it, and so you're
Speaker 3: moving trash to another area that would have and could
Speaker 3: have been good. But you're taking the toxic into the
Speaker 3: next And God is saying to many people that are
Speaker 3: listening right now, could we just get rid of some
Speaker 3: of the weight, some of the damage. I'm not saying
Speaker 3: that it all got to change today, but let's go
Speaker 3: on a journey of dealing with this thing. And because
Speaker 3: of loss, many times people think that loss is the end.
Speaker 3: Loss is never the end. Loss gives you the opportunity
Speaker 3: to find a new beginning, Yes, sir, And a lot
Speaker 3: of times the greatest things in my life that I
Speaker 3: lost were literally the stages for the greatest revelations, changes
Speaker 3: and renewals in my life. But if you get stuck
Speaker 3: in the loss, that's when you lose.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: But I'm encouraging.
Speaker 3: Somebody that's listening to this right now, don't get stuck
Speaker 3: in the loss. Don't get stuck in who left. This
Speaker 3: is the season where God's saying I got more for you,
Speaker 3: and there's value still in what's ahead of you. And
Speaker 3: that's why your damage can no longer define you. But
Speaker 3: this damage can be the thing to push you to destiny.
Speaker 3: And I don't know, Michelle, somebody's pulling on me right now.
Speaker 3: But you are about to give up, You are about
Speaker 3: to stop, you are about to throw in the towel.
Speaker 3: And this podcast came on to let you know that
Speaker 3: there is more in you. That you are not at
Speaker 3: the end of your rope. You're actually at the beginning
Speaker 3: of your new life.
Speaker 2: This is a new.
Speaker 3: Season, this is a new day, and you may be damaged,
Speaker 3: but you are not destroyed destroy I feel.
Speaker 1: It Pastor byke Todd, one of the best communicators, motivators
Speaker 1: encouraging men of God that this planet currently has right now,
Speaker 1: the courage to be honest, open and transparent. Everybody can't
Speaker 1: be that, and we need more of that in church.
Speaker 3: We got to have it in church. If we don't
Speaker 3: got it nowhere else, we got to have it in church.
Speaker 3: And that's why a lot of people are jacked up.
Speaker 1: But are we really ready? Because when someone is honest,
Speaker 1: open and transparent in church.
Speaker 2: It's wrong.
Speaker 1: It's like, well, what do you want? Do you want
Speaker 1: him to fake it?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: So the truth of the matter is when somebody is honest, transparent,
Speaker 3: and I want to even go a little a little
Speaker 3: further and say like violently vulnerable, Like I feel like
Speaker 3: I'm violently vulnerable, Like I try to say it to
Speaker 3: the point where it moves something in you, like I
Speaker 3: want you to understand that this is what really happened.
Speaker 3: And when you are like that, what it does and
Speaker 3: why people fight against it is because it actually triggers
Speaker 3: something on the inside of them. It becomes a mirror
Speaker 3: and they're like, hold on, if they talking about that,
Speaker 3: that means I need to talk about that. Uh, let's
Speaker 3: talk about them instead of talk about me. And so
Speaker 3: that's where comments go. That's where people did you hear
Speaker 3: about such and such? All it is is deflection. All
Speaker 3: they're trying to do is make that came too close
Speaker 3: to an issue I might really have that tame too
Speaker 3: close to what me and my family may have been
Speaker 3: dealing with. And so a lot of times the natural
Speaker 3: response the Bible says it like this, if you're going
Speaker 3: to point out the spec in your brother's eye, why
Speaker 3: don't you start by taking the log out of your
Speaker 3: own eye. And it's very hard because I don't want
Speaker 3: to deal with this log, but I do want to
Speaker 3: talk about the dust that's over there, and that if
Speaker 3: it keeps it off of you.
Speaker 1: Listen, first of all, thank you for the encouragement that
Speaker 1: you gave every listener. Heck, me and the producers that
Speaker 1: are sitting on here, thank you for what you just
Speaker 1: imparted into us. I want to ask you this question,
Speaker 1: and I want to hold you. Of course, we've got
Speaker 1: to ask you relationship questions, but.
Speaker 2: Mom, I'm here for you. Well, I'm here whatever you need.
Speaker 1: It's something that you were saying about how we don't
Speaker 1: like to deal with our own stuff, but yet we will.
Speaker 1: We'll talk about what everybody else is going through and
Speaker 1: to make us feel better. I wanted to ask you
Speaker 1: about anger and judgment. Yeah, when you are angry, why
Speaker 1: does it seem so easy to go into judgment of
Speaker 1: others their situation and that judgment turns right back around
Speaker 1: and it hits your house.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: The truth of the matter is anger is a secondary
Speaker 3: emotion and it's an easy one. And when I say
Speaker 3: a secondary emotion, it's like, usually anger is the thing
Speaker 3: that I feel after I feel something real, like I
Speaker 3: feel neglected, and so I get angry or I feel
Speaker 3: I feel devalued, so I get angry. And a lot
Speaker 3: of people have tapped into anger because an anger. Studies
Speaker 3: show that anger is an easy emotion to tap into
Speaker 3: when you don't understand, even as a child. So you
Speaker 3: might not understand why your mom left, but it made
Speaker 3: you angry. You might not have understood why y'all don't
Speaker 3: have food, but made you angry. You might not understood
Speaker 3: why they're picking on you for wearing that name brand,
Speaker 3: but it made you angry. And so anger becomes an
Speaker 3: ally for many people from a young age. And so
Speaker 3: when anger is your ally, what happens is you talk
Speaker 3: to the people you know the most because you with
Speaker 3: them the most. And so if anger is the thing
Speaker 3: that you've been with since you were five years old
Speaker 3: the most, even when you don't even want to go
Speaker 3: to that emotion, it's the quickest one that comes up.
Speaker 3: And so a lot of people have to actually tell
Speaker 3: anger that they are no longer best friends. We're going
Speaker 3: to have to search for a different emotion to be
Speaker 3: able to express what's going on, because when you get
Speaker 3: into anger, a lot of things happen in anger that
Speaker 3: you don't even really mean. Come on, everybody, listen. When
Speaker 3: you get angry, you say some stupid stuff, you do,
Speaker 3: some stupid stuff you done, broke stuff that's your own,
Speaker 3: stuff like that.
Speaker 2: Why we create more damage. And this is my aunt
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to be.
Speaker 3: You don't punch the hole in your own wall, Like,
Speaker 3: what in the what kind of sense do that make?
Speaker 2: But the truth of the matter, I'd.
Speaker 1: Rather punch and then punch and punch my girl. Man,
Speaker 1: you over ready to push the hole in the wall, bro.
Speaker 3: But the truth of the matter is that especially for
Speaker 3: men that that has been an ally from adolescents, and
Speaker 3: if anger has been your ally from adolescence, it's going
Speaker 3: to turn into something that nobody needs to be walking
Speaker 3: in rage because when you get into rage, you don't
Speaker 3: understand why you do what you're doing. You're just doing
Speaker 3: things and that's where it switches. And so a lot
Speaker 3: of times when you get anger as an ally from adolescence,
Speaker 3: it means that if I'm not gonna physically act this out,
Speaker 3: I have to judge everybody that's around me.
Speaker 2: I have to.
Speaker 3: I have to show them and tell them, and even
Speaker 3: if I don't say it out loud, I have to
Speaker 3: have secret things of what I feel about them because
Speaker 3: it makes me feel better about myself. And this is
Speaker 3: why I'm saying, especially to men out there, man, yo,
Speaker 3: we are destroying families because we are not actually dealing
Speaker 3: with our issues. It hurts us and we have been
Speaker 3: told that we cannot express those emotions and we've only
Speaker 3: been given applause when we do it one way. And
Speaker 3: I'm telling you anger is not the way to do this.
Speaker 3: We need counseling, we need therapy, we need community, we
Speaker 3: need to talk to each other, we need to ask
Speaker 3: ourselves real questions because we're out here putting families together
Speaker 3: that many times we're not in because of our issues.
Speaker 3: And at the same time, we're the only ones that
Speaker 3: can fully heal what's been going on in this world.
Speaker 3: And this is what I say to people. What's not
Speaker 3: transformed in you is transferred. So everything you won't deal with.
Speaker 3: The Bible talks about it visiting the generations, and we've
Speaker 3: seen it. Some of us are angry, but it's because
Speaker 3: our big mama was angry and our uncle was angry,
Speaker 3: and that stuff just passes down.
Speaker 2: And so I'm just encouraging everybody.
Speaker 3: If you cannot find within yourself to do your work
Speaker 3: for you, at least do it for them children that
Speaker 3: you love. At least do it for that next generation
Speaker 3: who's watching you. Because the pattern is being repeated if
Speaker 3: we do not deal with our data.
Speaker 1: One you actually said transformed instead of what's not transform
Speaker 1: is transferred. That was actually something that I was supposed
Speaker 1: to get to, and you hit the nail on the head.
Speaker 1: That's why I know this conversation is spirit led. I'm
Speaker 1: so sociaid no, this.
Speaker 2: Is real, so so excited.
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts on what's not transformed can be transferred?
Speaker 1: I'm assuming your meaning. So what's not transformed in me?
Speaker 1: If I go and have children, can I transfer to
Speaker 1: them based on how I respond to when life?
Speaker 3: Yes, So this is I have four kids, and the
Speaker 3: one thing I can't do with my four kids is hide.
Speaker 2: I can't hide. They're with me all the time.
Speaker 3: They might be as cool, but they see when I'm angry,
Speaker 3: they see when I'm happy.
Speaker 2: They see I'll respond in.
Speaker 3: Hard times, and they see how I respond in happy times.
Speaker 3: The truth of the matter is, if you want to
Speaker 3: know who you really are, ask your kids. I mean,
Speaker 3: the truth of the matter is you know your mama
Speaker 3: better than your mama. Probably know your mama like because
Speaker 3: like they think, they are responding yourself. I was good
Speaker 3: to you, I was like mama, you was mean every
Speaker 3: time you came home after word you was mean, and
Speaker 3: they don't want to hear that. And then they start
Speaker 3: saying stuff like you're not going to disrespect me, and
Speaker 3: they start doing all of these things that are generational
Speaker 3: patterns that once I said, so all that stuff is dumb.
Speaker 3: It's all things that you do when you have a
Speaker 3: little language of emotion, when you do not have a
Speaker 3: large vocabulary emotionally, you say stuff to make people shut down.
Speaker 3: And a lot of times, you think, especially in black households,
Speaker 3: a lot of the language we were told was shut
Speaker 3: down language, shut up before I give you something to
Speaker 3: cry about, you ain't really ain't never. I had no
Speaker 3: problem like literally minimizing whatever is real to you at
Speaker 3: that moment, which teaches you to not deal with real
Speaker 3: issues like and so the truth of the matter is
Speaker 3: in my living, I am teaching my children how to live,
Speaker 3: whether I say it directly or indirectly.
Speaker 2: And so if.
Speaker 3: Every time I'm faced with the hard situation between me
Speaker 3: and their mama, I leave the house, they're learning when something.
Speaker 2: Gets hard, relationally dip like. That's what they're learning.
Speaker 3: And don't matter if I tell them no, you stay
Speaker 3: and you work it out you dah da da da.
Speaker 2: They're going to do what they see.
Speaker 3: So what is what's not transformed in me will be
Speaker 3: transferred into them. I cannot be surprised when my daughter's
Speaker 3: in her relationship and she show up in my house, Daddy, I.
Speaker 2: Left, hold on you married? Why did you leave? I
Speaker 2: didn't want to deal with it. I didn't Da da da.
Speaker 3: And the truth of the matter was she really just
Speaker 3: that I saw you do that with Mammy, and people
Speaker 3: don't have that real conversation. And so that's the That's
Speaker 3: the thing that I really want people to understand. Like
Speaker 3: you affect everybody around you when you act like it
Speaker 3: doesn't affect you. I'm gonna say it one more time.
Speaker 3: You affect everyone around you when you act like it
Speaker 3: doesn't affect you.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, me.
Speaker 3: And you actually deal with whatever affects you. It has
Speaker 3: a ripple effect. And I talk about that in the book,
Speaker 3: like good things can happen and ripple out to be
Speaker 3: able to help so many people if you actually deal
Speaker 3: with what hurts you or what what hindered you, or
Speaker 3: what made you like like want to stop. Like when
Speaker 3: you do that, you gonna you ain't even met yourself.
Speaker 3: You don't even know you yet, Like I'm telling you,
Speaker 3: it'll change your whole life.
Speaker 2: You know, when you.
Speaker 1: Can have the heart conversations with yourself and have the
Speaker 1: hard conversations with each other.
Speaker 2: Yikes.
Speaker 1: In your book you mentioned I don't want to give
Speaker 1: everything away, but there was something going on in your
Speaker 1: family with one of your precious children. And you know
Speaker 1: your wife, missus Natalie, She's telling you one thing and
Speaker 1: you're like, no, I'm good. But it's like you had
Speaker 1: to go.
Speaker 2: Let's go, let's go and say it. Let's go and say.
Speaker 1: I was I was just saying how you had to
Speaker 1: go get some self awareness to be like, my bad,
Speaker 1: I was wrong.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like I was arrogant. This is the true yes,
Speaker 2: and then be When you can do.
Speaker 1: That, you can go to that person and have a
Speaker 1: hard conversation.
Speaker 2: And that's the thing. Humility starts all of this.
Speaker 3: And most people will never reach purpose, not because of
Speaker 3: their performance.
Speaker 2: It'll be because of their pride.
Speaker 3: Like like most people won't reach their God given purpose,
Speaker 3: not because they couldn't produce whatever it is, it's because
Speaker 3: of pride. They will not allow anybody else to speak
Speaker 3: into their life. You see me now, and I don't
Speaker 3: see myself. And if I had something on my face
Speaker 3: right now and you saw it, but I'm denying that
Speaker 3: it's there. That level of delusion keeps me from destiny.
Speaker 3: And that's what a lot of people do in their
Speaker 3: own lives. They don't allow anybody to speak because you
Speaker 3: younger than me, you older than me, you ain't got
Speaker 3: as much money as me, and all this other stuff.
Speaker 3: And one thing that I found out is that if
Speaker 3: I'm going to be healed, I have to be humble.
Speaker 3: Like it's like healing takes humility, and that is where
Speaker 3: I think a lot of us have to like stop
Speaker 3: the cart and really recognize, like not this fake humble
Speaker 3: thing that people talk about, Like I'm talking about, Can
Speaker 3: somebody lovingly tell you that you're mean and you actually evaluated?
Speaker 3: Can somebody tell you that lovingly. I'm not talking about
Speaker 3: going off on you or anything like, but lovingly say
Speaker 3: like you run away every time it gets hard and
Speaker 3: you like what you mean, or run away like matter
Speaker 3: of fact, I gotta go. I got a trip to Atlanta.
Speaker 3: It's like see right there, I got you're running away
Speaker 3: right now.
Speaker 1: You're giving us a lesson.
Speaker 2: I want this conversation this is good, I'm not the way.
Speaker 1: And the tone that you're saying, Hey, you're mean.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're hey, And tone is everything. Tone is everything.
Speaker 3: If you don't want somebody to hear you go off,
Speaker 3: like defenses come up immediately, like the way that you
Speaker 3: approach it, it allows them to have an excuse to
Speaker 3: not deal with the real issue, because you become the issue. Now,
Speaker 3: I need everybody to understand that. A lot of times
Speaker 3: we want to help somebody, the best thing you can
Speaker 3: do is not become an issue trying to help them
Speaker 3: with their issue. And tone is a big part of that.
Speaker 3: And that's why, again, it's hard to help somebody when
Speaker 3: you haven't helped yourself because the only reason I can
Speaker 3: have that tone is because I've had to have empathy
Speaker 3: because I've gone through it, and I know somebody has
Speaker 3: had to say to me, hey, you're not listening. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: I hear what you're saying. I understand it, but you're
Speaker 3: not listening. Like and it's like, what you mean, I'm
Speaker 3: not listening. I'm like, here, I hear you. No, you're
Speaker 3: hearing me, but you're not listening to what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: And so now, oh oh, oh, he did something.
Speaker 1: Go on listening.
Speaker 2: Those are two totally different things.
Speaker 3: Right now, even as I'm here, there's some people outside
Speaker 3: working on different things. I hear them, but I'm not
Speaker 3: listening to them. I'm listening to you. Like I hear
Speaker 3: a lot of noise, but I'm listening. My listening is
Speaker 3: where I'm focused. And a lot of times when we're
Speaker 3: in specially heated discussions or discussions that have to do
Speaker 3: with the soul and our real emotions, we're not listening anymore.
Speaker 3: We're just hearing. And until you start listening, you'll never
Speaker 3: actually be led to a place of healing. And so
Speaker 3: for me, the reason why I come at stuff a
Speaker 3: certain way is because I know what it is to
Speaker 3: have to deal with issues and have my wife or
Speaker 3: my friend or people I pay. Let me just say this,
Speaker 3: it doesn't matter where it comes from. If it's good
Speaker 3: for you, it needs to be received. And that's why
Speaker 3: I said this whole healing journey starts with humility. This
Speaker 3: is the only reason I was able to write damage
Speaker 3: but not destroyed. It's because I had to humble myself.
Speaker 3: And the Bible says it like this. It says you're
Speaker 3: either going to humble yourself or you will be humbled.
Speaker 3: It's gonna happen either one way or another. And before
Speaker 3: I was humbled, and before I had to to take
Speaker 3: losses that were unnecessary, I said, let me do this work,
Speaker 3: let me start talking to somebody, let me journal a
Speaker 3: little bit. Let me and for me, like journaling is
Speaker 3: not a thing, and for a lot of guys it's
Speaker 3: like I don't sit down in journal. So what I did,
Speaker 3: I voiced journal. I would just start my phone on
Speaker 3: the notes app and I would say today, I feel
Speaker 3: like crap. I feel like nobody's for me. And I
Speaker 3: really don't want to go to counseling. I don't want
Speaker 3: to deal with this situation, but I know I need
Speaker 3: to talk about it. And I really want my wife
Speaker 3: to have sex with me tonight, but we've been in
Speaker 3: an argument, so like I don't know if that's going.
Speaker 3: Like I was just being honest with myself, honest with
Speaker 3: where I was at. And the thing that I tell
Speaker 3: people all the time, this journey in life is about progression,
Speaker 3: not perfection.
Speaker 2: So many people are trying to leave this perfect life.
Speaker 3: It's impossible you live in this world with all of
Speaker 3: its issues in troubles.
Speaker 2: What you need is.
Speaker 3: To just make a step forward, progression over perfection every
Speaker 3: single day. And so as you do that, that's how
Speaker 3: you go from your trauma to triumph. That's how you
Speaker 3: turn your damage into destiny. Not one miracle, it's one
Speaker 3: step out of time. And that's why in this book,
Speaker 3: I want to be your coach, Like I have gone
Speaker 3: through it, and I got the scars and they have
Speaker 3: healed now and now I can point to them and say,
Speaker 3: you see this. This is why you do this in community,
Speaker 3: because when you isolate and through it alone, that's where
Speaker 3: you can get your a whooped. Like that's like like,
Speaker 3: that's where I want to show you so that you
Speaker 3: can be able to walk this out because I believe
Speaker 3: there's so much value still in everybody listening.
Speaker 1: And I feel listen, it says it's in you. It's
Speaker 1: in you, and y'all, y'all are so going to enjoy
Speaker 1: the visuals and the diagram of even that of the
Speaker 1: value being in you. And I believe pastor Mike type
Speaker 1: because you are on the journey of healings, it might
Speaker 1: be a lifelong thing.
Speaker 2: It don't stop, don't stop, it don't stop.
Speaker 1: You know, it does not stop. But being an emotionally intune,
Speaker 1: emotionally healthy pastor, I can only imagine and get excited
Speaker 1: to visit your church one day to see all the
Speaker 1: all the emotionally healthy people, all the people that are
Speaker 1: starting to get emotionally healthy because of what you are
Speaker 1: willing to talk about. I feel like, like, ain't no
Speaker 1: need of us doing all this shouting and praising. If
Speaker 1: you what now? Now? You sound like your brother mentor
Speaker 1: Tim Ross?
Speaker 2: That was the first what yeah? Were we?
Speaker 3: We we don't need just to do something, so we
Speaker 3: need more deodorant.
Speaker 2: We need to deal with our damage so we can
Speaker 2: get to destiny. Do you hear me?
Speaker 1: Like? Well? I I am just super super super excited
Speaker 1: for everybody to hear this podcast. I am super I
Speaker 1: want one hundred people that listen to this podcast. I
Speaker 1: want you to d m me so that I can
Speaker 1: send you damaged but not destroys.
Speaker 3: No, Mochelle, all you're going to do is all you're
Speaker 3: gonna do.
Speaker 1: Now, let me let me tell you. If you're listening,
Speaker 1: you're gonna d m me damaged but not destroyed. You're
Speaker 1: also gonna d m me your name and the maling
Speaker 1: address when you do that, that lets me know you
Speaker 1: listen to this episode, So the first one hundred people
Speaker 1: that do that, because we are about healing forever. I
Speaker 1: know what the healing power of Jesus Christ has done
Speaker 1: in my life. I know what it's doing in the relationships,
Speaker 1: business and personally. And I have I, like I said,
Speaker 1: even me reading his book. Since you need to unpack
Speaker 1: this a little more. You need to. You need to
Speaker 1: unpack this a little more. And uh, pastor Mike to
Speaker 1: thank you. It just seems like you have fun in
Speaker 1: everything you Oh.
Speaker 2: That's it. We got to. We got to.
Speaker 3: I believe that life is to be enjoyed, not endured,
Speaker 3: and I believe that the freedom in Christ allows you
Speaker 3: to do that. So that that means you can't listen
Speaker 3: to a bunch of people because they think it's different.
Speaker 3: But I am grateful for you. You are a blessing.
Speaker 3: You are helping so many people right now be able
Speaker 3: to just approach their healing journey. And it's because of
Speaker 3: your personality, your words, you using your platform. It really
Speaker 3: is refreshing to see people actually use what God's given
Speaker 3: them to help people and not just throwing money at
Speaker 3: it or just throwing an endorsement, like you're actually in
Speaker 3: here doing the hard work and helping people. And I
Speaker 3: just want to say thank you on behalf of all
Speaker 3: the people that won't be able to be on the podcast,
Speaker 3: which I want to say, thank you.
Speaker 2: Your value is great to our world and we really
Speaker 2: appreciate the work that you do.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you. And let me tell y'all I'm
Speaker 1: excited his book is out right now. His book is
Speaker 1: out now today October third, Tuesday. It is out, so
Speaker 1: number one hundred people that's gonna hit me. But this
Speaker 1: book we're gonna add to themselves.
Speaker 2: Let's go to be a another.
Speaker 1: New York Times bestseller. I'm so happy that the timing
Speaker 1: of this conversation could take place for the release date
Speaker 1: of your book Damage, but not this.
Speaker 3: Hey, Michelle, Yeah, let me say one thing. Every black
Speaker 3: male needs this book. Yes, And I want to say
Speaker 3: I want to say this as well, because I know
Speaker 3: my ladies they gonna already go, y'all are y'all are
Speaker 3: next level when it comes to like emotions. Oh, we're
Speaker 3: gonna get better. Oh y'all gonna already do it. My
Speaker 3: request for all the listeners. The back of this book
Speaker 3: is the coolest part. And you can't see it right now,
Speaker 3: but but but this is this is a picture. If
Speaker 3: you see the book, it's a picture of three generations
Speaker 3: of Todd men. It's my dad's face, my four brothers face,
Speaker 3: my face, and my son's face, and and and it
Speaker 3: looks like me. But it's all of us together, which
Speaker 3: you look like you, But you're the sum of all
Speaker 3: the people that have ever affected you. And there are
Speaker 3: so many men who need the puzzle pieces of their
Speaker 3: life put back together and need to deal with their trauma.
Speaker 2: So if you're listening to this and you are a man, or.
Speaker 3: You love a man, you got a young boy, you
Speaker 3: got a high school student, you got a college student,
Speaker 3: your baby, daddy, whatever, you need to get this book
Speaker 3: because it's gonna help them be able to at least
Speaker 3: start seeing the value in trying to deal with some
Speaker 3: of the things that happen to them. And I believe
Speaker 3: when the men and women get their health emotionally and
Speaker 3: spiritually right, it's gonna change everything in your family, in
Speaker 3: your community, and in your world. Michelle, I love you,
Speaker 3: dammage been not destroyed. Y'all are the best ever.
Speaker 2: Thank y'all.
Speaker 1: Let's go Okay, listen, I mean, what do you say?
Speaker 1: What do you say?
Speaker 3: So?
Speaker 1: I hope to the person that feels like you've done
Speaker 1: too much wrong or that you've sabotaged every good thing
Speaker 1: in your life, that you are encouraged to know that
Speaker 1: it's not too late. The folks that sit on these
Speaker 1: platforms as pastors, or even me with the podcast, and
Speaker 1: who authored a book, you know, who's had gospel albums out,
Speaker 1: just I hope that you could hear our hearts as
Speaker 1: far as the healing journeys and knowing that nobody escapes trauma.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, nobody is immune to Now there are some
Speaker 1: people in my life who say, Michelle, I've honestly, I've
Speaker 1: had a great childhood. My parents were awesome. They taught
Speaker 1: us how to be loving, they taught us how to
Speaker 1: be emotionally healthy, and they instilled that in us. So
Speaker 1: I do not want to minimize that. There are some
Speaker 1: people who actually have that testimony. Yes, that's a testimony,
Speaker 1: that is a testimony. But there are some folks who
Speaker 1: have endured some abuse, some trauma, some neglect, some abandonments,
Speaker 1: some betrayal, lost. You are trying to find your way,
Speaker 1: so just want you to know that we hear you,
Speaker 1: we see you, and we feel you. That's why I
Speaker 1: passed for Mike Todd. Had to take a moment to
Speaker 1: speak in to the person's listening who might feel like
Speaker 1: you're too far gone, that too much has happened to you.
Speaker 1: Or maybe you're one who's made up team mistake after
Speaker 1: mistake after mistake, and I'm telling you you can go
Speaker 1: from trauma to triumph. All right. There's nothing you can
Speaker 1: do that separates you from God's love. Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: I love y'all. Checking In with Michelle Williams is a
Speaker 1: production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts
Speaker 1: from iHeart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.