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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. If you need advice

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Speaker 1: and relationships on dating, work, sex, parenting, and more, please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're gonna read this

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Speaker 1: one right here, right now. Okay, Margot lappinhold on tight,

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Speaker 1: We got it for you. Here he is the Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject pick me or your mama. Dear

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley, I am a young woman in my early

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Speaker 1: thirties and I have been dating a forty four year

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Speaker 1: old man for ten years. We have had a great

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Speaker 1: relationship until recently when his mother moved to the city

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Speaker 1: we live in. Since then, we've been fussing more and

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Speaker 1: I'm really starting to dislike him. His true colors are

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Speaker 1: showing all because of his mother. We cannot move on

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Speaker 1: with our lives. Because his mother is stuck on her

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Speaker 1: son not being with her. Whenever he has your time

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Speaker 1: in his schedule, she manipulates him into thinking she's going

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Speaker 1: to die alone one day because he doesn't see her daily.

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Speaker 1: I have made him realize that she wasn't complaining as

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Speaker 1: much when she didn't live this close to us. He

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Speaker 1: told his mother that we are finally going to get married,

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Speaker 1: and she told him that if he marries me, she

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Speaker 1: will not be around to watch it go down. I

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Speaker 1: do not know when things change between his mother and

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Speaker 1: I because we've always been cordial and respectful to each other.

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Speaker 1: It makes me wonder if my man has told her

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Speaker 1: something about me. He says he would never tell her

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Speaker 1: anything negative about me because he knows how she is.

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Speaker 1: This man loves his mama and he loves me. So

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Speaker 1: I'm stuck in the middle, always the one trying to

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Speaker 1: smooth things over with his mom while she dotes on

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Speaker 1: her son and overlooks me. I'm not trying to come

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Speaker 1: between a mom and a son. But come on, we

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Speaker 1: are grown people. We aren't married. We aren't married so

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Speaker 1: I can leave him any time. And he knows I'm

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Speaker 1: ready to call it quits, and he's begged me to

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Speaker 1: give him one give him more time to talk to

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Speaker 1: his mom. Should I leave him alone now and move

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Speaker 1: on with my life or should I go through with

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Speaker 1: the wedding and just avoid his nasty acting mama? After

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Speaker 1: ten years, I say it's time to blink or get

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Speaker 1: off the pot anyway. I mean, I just say, don't

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Speaker 1: let this forty four year old mama's boy, because that's

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Speaker 1: what it is, have any more of your time. If

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Speaker 1: he doesn't put you first now before he marries you,

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Speaker 1: what do you think marriage is going to be like

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Speaker 1: with him? Every time Mama calls, he's gonna leave you

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Speaker 1: and run right over there to be with mama. You

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Speaker 1: say this man loves you, well, I gotta say this,

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Speaker 1: love would put you first. Love would stand up to

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Speaker 1: his mama on your behalf. Love would not let his

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Speaker 1: mom manipulate him. Love would not have to have you

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Speaker 1: stuck in the middle. You would be upfront. You would

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Speaker 1: be out front where you belong. And no, I don't

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Speaker 1: think you should go through with the wedding and just

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Speaker 1: avoid his nasty acting. Mama. You deserve way better. And

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Speaker 1: it's time now for the boy, the son, the mama's boy,

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Speaker 1: to let his mom know exactly how he feels about you.

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Speaker 1: And you know, respectfully, of course it's his mom, but

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Speaker 1: he's got to let her know that she can't do this.

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Speaker 1: I mean, like you say, she wasn't doing it when

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Speaker 1: she didn't live in the same city. Now she is

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Speaker 1: being very manipulative. It reminds me of the Jefferson's the

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Speaker 1: TV show George's mom and his mama and Wheezy, that dynamic. So, no,

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Speaker 1: don't let this go down. If you feel like you

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Speaker 1: need to get out of there because he's treating you

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Speaker 1: not like the queen you are, then you gots to go. Steve,

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Speaker 1: really ridiculous letter kind of in a way, because there's

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Speaker 1: so many things. You forty four year old man, you

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Speaker 1: and your early thirties. You've been dating a man ten years.

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Speaker 1: What is going got a great relationship until his mama

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Speaker 1: moved to the city we live in. Oh Hell came

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Speaker 1: to town. Now, y'all been fussing. Huh, I said, Hell

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Speaker 1: came to town. Oh Hell, here come Hell. Yea, Hell

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Speaker 1: came to town. Now here's his true colors are showing

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Speaker 1: all because of his mother. Here's what she says. We

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Speaker 1: cannot move on with our lives because his mother stuck

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Speaker 1: on her son not being with her whenever he has

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Speaker 1: extra time in his schedule. Why does his mama know

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Speaker 1: his schedule? Let's start there. So now every waning moment

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Speaker 1: he got, he got to give to her. And then

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Speaker 1: she always telling about she gonna die alone one day

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Speaker 1: because he don't see her daily. I mean, it's cool

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Speaker 1: if you can see your mama a day. I wish

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Speaker 1: I could see mine. But my mom was living. I

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Speaker 1: didn't see her every day. You know, which had some

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Speaker 1: more time? Would? I'll admit that, But every day, you know,

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Speaker 1: you know, if you was twelve, I saw my mom

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Speaker 1: Mary day I was twelve, I was at the house.

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Speaker 1: I saw every day that I was sixteen, right up

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Speaker 1: until I was seventeen and moved out. Once I moved out,

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Speaker 1: I never really could go back to my mom and

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Speaker 1: daddy house. Now, you Shirley's absolutely correct. You got a

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Speaker 1: mama's born on your head, and it seemed like ain't

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Speaker 1: nowhere around it now. He told his mother that y'all

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Speaker 1: was finally gonna getting married. She told him if he

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Speaker 1: married me, she would not be around to watch it

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Speaker 1: go down. What do that mean? She gonna die, she

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Speaker 1: gonna move back out of town, She ain't coming to

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Speaker 1: the wedding, she gonna get sick. What do it mean?

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Speaker 1: I don't even know what that means. I ain't gonna

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Speaker 1: be around, lady. Why, Yeah, he can't marry you? The

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Speaker 1: boy can't marry you Jesus. All right, Steve, hang on,

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Speaker 1: we'll have part two of your response coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letters subjects

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Speaker 1: picked me or your mama. We'll get back into it

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Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening, all right, Steve, Come on,

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Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry Letters subject pick me or your

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Speaker 1: mama for it for you, old man. She's been dating

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Speaker 1: for ten years. That's tricky right there. And then his

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Speaker 1: true colors came out when his mother moved into the city.

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Speaker 1: And now she got the man thinking that, you know,

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Speaker 1: and because if you're not spending all your extra time

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Speaker 1: with your mama, it's a problem. Well it is a

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Speaker 1: problem because nobody want to do that, not every damn

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Speaker 1: waking minute, you know. And then all we got down

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Speaker 1: to he told his mother that we was gonna get married.

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Speaker 1: She told him, and she married me, that she gonna

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Speaker 1: not be around and watch it go down. Dad. I

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Speaker 1: didn't understand. Are you gonna die, are you gonna lead town?

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Speaker 1: Are you sick about it? You just ain't coming to

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Speaker 1: the wedding whatever? And then the lady can't figure out

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Speaker 1: when things changed between him and the mother because they

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Speaker 1: always been cordial and respectful. Then it makes me wonder

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Speaker 1: if he just said something to the mama he sayd

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Speaker 1: he not? He just know how his mama is. So

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Speaker 1: now you stuck in the middle, always trying to smooth

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Speaker 1: things over with his mom while she doats on her

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Speaker 1: son and overlooks me. Okay, this is atypical mama boy

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Speaker 1: red behavior. I'm not trying to come between a mom

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Speaker 1: and her son. That's not you should have to. If

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Speaker 1: you're a relationship with a man, you shouldn't want to

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Speaker 1: come between. You shouldn't have to feel as though I'm

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Speaker 1: saying that you're coming between a man and his mother.

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Speaker 1: You shouldn't be made to feel that way. Something's wrong.

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Speaker 1: Come on, we grown people. Now, she says, we're not married,

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Speaker 1: so I can leave him at any time. Now, okay,

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Speaker 1: we're in hold up punch of breaks. All of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: the truth came out. I can leave him anytime. He knows.

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Speaker 1: I'm ready to call it quitz. And he has begged

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Speaker 1: me to give him more time to talk to his mom.

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Speaker 1: So you're ready to roll out? Sounds like, yeah, damned

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Speaker 1: the ten years that ain't gonna I ain't mad at

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Speaker 1: you about that. Damned to ten years. They don't need

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Speaker 1: to put in ten more in just like it. So

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Speaker 1: damn the ten years, Damn the love, Damn the wedding

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Speaker 1: vials to hair with his mama, I roll out, I'll

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Speaker 1: pull up, pull up duces persho, whoop I'm about now?

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Speaker 1: Should I leave him alone now and move on with

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Speaker 1: my life? Or should I go through the wedding? Just

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Speaker 1: a void? Is nawsty adding Mamma, that's gonna be impossible.

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Speaker 1: Shirley's right. And I was talking to somebody today, a

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Speaker 1: contractor at my house, and he said a counselor told

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Speaker 1: him he went to counseling for his relationship. When a

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Speaker 1: person shows you who they are, believed them. That's why

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Speaker 1: the guy said to counselor, I've heard that, but he said,

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Speaker 1: a counselor told him today, when a person shows you

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Speaker 1: who they really are, believe them. Okay, you should believe him.

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Speaker 1: He showed you who he really is, who he really

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Speaker 1: gonna be loyal to, and who who's really gonna he's

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Speaker 1: gonna place first. Shirley said, you should be first. Now

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Speaker 1: he's shown you, you're not going to be first. I

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Speaker 1: need some time to talk to her. The conversations just

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Speaker 1: it's real simple, Mama, Mama, you're tripping now. You need

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Speaker 1: to quit talking to her like that. This my girl.

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Speaker 1: Then you talking to a crazy gotta feeling some kind

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Speaker 1: of way, and that ain't right. And if you keep

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Speaker 1: doing that, I ain't bringing her around, and I ain't

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Speaker 1: coming around. Then you respect who I am or what

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Speaker 1: I want to do. That's That's a simple conversation. Now,

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Speaker 1: Mama's boys. Is hard to have that conversation because they

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Speaker 1: Mama's boy, you don't talk to me that way, Shut

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Speaker 1: your stupid ass up. And then he going and an

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Speaker 1: sit down somewhere. That's mama talking. Yeah, no, my mama

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Speaker 1: ain't never done me like that, because number one, I

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Speaker 1: ain't never talked back to mine. I couldn't. It wasn't loud,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, it was my mother. But my mother never interfered.

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Speaker 1: So I don't know what to tell you, lady. I

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Speaker 1: was going about you seem like you said, rather casual.

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Speaker 1: We ain't married, so I could leave him at any time.

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Speaker 1: He know I'm ready to call it quit. He'd begged

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Speaker 1: me to give him more time to talk to his mama.

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Speaker 1: Should I leave him alone now and move on with

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Speaker 1: my life. Or should I go through the wind and

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Speaker 1: just avoid his name? Ask the act? Just go through

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Speaker 1: with the wedding right there? Yeah? Should I just leave

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Speaker 1: him now? Or should I just go through it? Go

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Speaker 1: through with the wedding. That don't even sound right. Listen,

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Speaker 1: listen to me, and don't be half from me. Tommy,

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Speaker 1: Carla and Shelly. Don't just sign up talking about you're

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Speaker 1: gonna just go through with the wed not what this is?

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Speaker 1: I got this way too many U can't just go

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Speaker 1: through it moments in marriage. His advice I give to

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Speaker 1: everybody we were talking about this off day. Three things

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Speaker 1: you got to have. You have to be in love

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Speaker 1: with the person. You have to like a person, and

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Speaker 1: you have to love the person. In love is different

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Speaker 1: from loving them. So you need to be in love.

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Speaker 1: You need to be uh, you need to like them,

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Speaker 1: and you need to love them. Yeah, because on any

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Speaker 1: given day, one of them can be missing, and all

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Speaker 1: the two guys to take take care of you any

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Speaker 1: any on any date, one of them could just turn

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Speaker 1: up missing. I don't like his ass today, so that's it,

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Speaker 1: all right, I'm with surely, run all right? Listen up

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Speaker 1: post your comments, thank you, Steve. Post your comments on

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Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook,

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Speaker 1: and please check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand

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Speaker 1: you're listening to