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Speaker 1: You hear me confession I can't take back e arms.

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Speaker 2: Little mouse speaker text to sevent eighty five nine two

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Speaker 2: says I accidentally recorded over my wife's old high school

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Speaker 2: graduation video the movie Freddy got fingered.

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Speaker 3: No, would you like some?

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Speaker 4: I had to throw the tape out, and she still asks,

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Speaker 4: as I've seen the VHS anyway?

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Speaker 1: Wait?

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Speaker 5: Wait does she want to watch it?

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Speaker 6: Like?

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Speaker 5: What are you gonna do with it?

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Speaker 3: Anyway?

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Speaker 4: Besides, who wants to admit that they still own a VHS?

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Speaker 4: That's just embarrassing.

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Speaker 3: Good you threw that thing out.

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Speaker 4: The thing is, we have a listener on the line

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Speaker 4: right now who wants to play the tape on one

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Speaker 4: of his old secrets, and he's chosen to go by

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Speaker 4: the name Mark today.

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Speaker 3: So Mark, welcome to the show.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, hand out.

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Speaker 3: I will also put my hand out.

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Speaker 5: Are you feeling like a little nervous everybody?

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Speaker 1: It's still it's not going to be a.

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Speaker 3: You're nervous.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Let's be confusing too, when you're using a name that's

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Speaker 4: not your real name.

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Speaker 3: How you do and you're like, oh yeah.

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Speaker 4: Wait, that's me just so you know on our and

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Speaker 4: your voice sounds super weird.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, we literally don't know who you are. Voice

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Speaker 3: changer is on.

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Speaker 4: You are the mass speaker mark whenever you're ready, let's

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Speaker 4: hear your confession.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I never knew my dad growing up as a kid.

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Speaker 3: Was that a choice of yours? You didn't want to

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Speaker 3: know him? You just no thing? Yeah, yeah, I'm not interested.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I'm just joking. I'm sorry, man.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's okay. Listen, I'm an adult now, I've been

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Speaker 1: to therapy. Yeah, it was growing up. My mom, she

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Speaker 1: didn't want to talk about it if I brought it up.

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Speaker 1: We never really talked about my dad.

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Speaker 6: I mean different generation too, about how our parents handled

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Speaker 6: trauma and things like that.

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Speaker 5: So you know, I get that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. The weird thing is a couple of years ago

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Speaker 1: I had told for my mom to come over for

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Speaker 1: lunch and I get there and she introduces me to

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Speaker 1: the sky and she's like, this is your real father? What?

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Speaker 1: Whoa what?

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Speaker 6: Well wait wait, there's no legs like that warming you

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Speaker 6: up to this idea, asking you if you're ready or okay, No.

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Speaker 1: My mother is very much of the rip off the

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Speaker 1: band Aid generation.

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Speaker 6: Wow yeah, wow, just over a casual tune of sandwich

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Speaker 6: at the kitchen table.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, So.

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Speaker 3: What do you do? Do you go in for a hug? There?

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Speaker 5: Are you punch him in the face?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? How do you? I couldn't react even to this day.

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, when I talk about it, it wears

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Speaker 1: me out.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, I can't imagine what you were feeling.

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Speaker 5: That's for me, just even you delivering that news.

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Speaker 6: I can't.

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Speaker 5: I can't fathom what happened.

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Speaker 1: Well, here's the thing, she tells me. He's been working

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Speaker 1: for the government in secret for the last like thirty

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Speaker 1: years or so, and he had to completely stay away

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Speaker 1: from us for our own safe.

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Speaker 6: No way, and you're just hearing about it, I mean,

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Speaker 6: what it's going through.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it gets better, she goes, his suiting to the

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Speaker 1: country has been fulfilled now and he's back and they

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Speaker 1: can be together again.

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Speaker 5: And wait, so they're together?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 5: What shut I believe it?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like trying to process it myself.

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Speaker 6: I mean, maybe your mom believes it, but is this guy,

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Speaker 6: Like I feel like this guy is the one that's

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Speaker 6: putting her on, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Like, Yeah, well it felt weird, but just from the

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Speaker 1: way he acts and the way she acts, I can

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Speaker 1: kind of see them being together, and then she pulls

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Speaker 1: out some old photos of the two of them from

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Speaker 1: like way back before I was born.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, it's okay, so your dad standing in front of you.

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Speaker 5: Whoa.

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Speaker 1: But I still felt weirded out besides all of us

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Speaker 1: being just dumped on me. I mean, the biggest thing

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Speaker 1: was I don't really look like my mom, but I

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Speaker 1: don't look at this guy at all. Yeah, that was

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Speaker 1: the biggest problem in my head. Like I couldn't get over.

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Speaker 6: I would want to be like, even if this was

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Speaker 6: one of your mom's ex boyfriends, you'd want a paternity test, right, Like,

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Speaker 6: what did you do?

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Speaker 1: Well? I didn't want to upset my mother being happy

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Speaker 1: for all. He seems like a nice guy. He's not

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Speaker 1: trying to do anything. But my suspicions were just like

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Speaker 1: you just said, paternity you know. Yeah, So one day

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Speaker 1: I decided I need to test his DNA.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, get his old brush, right, some of his hair.

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Speaker 3: Clearly Brooks had to do a few paternity tests for

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Speaker 3: her children.

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Speaker 1: So spit in the tube.

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Speaker 5: Okay, how do.

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Speaker 3: You get him to spit into a tube?

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Speaker 5: Like, secretly you hope that he jewels when he's sleeping.

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Speaker 3: Food on your lip. Here, hold on, let me grab

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Speaker 3: this big glass tube. Almost I need a little bit

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Speaker 3: more than actually spit that out for me. How did

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Speaker 3: you do that?

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Speaker 1: What I did was I went to the bathroom and

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Speaker 1: I grabbed his toothbrush and excreted it side the tube,

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Speaker 1: and I said it to the lab.

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Speaker 5: It turns out you're related to Crest.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, they're like, also your twenty peppery.

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Speaker 5: Did it come back with anything?

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Speaker 1: Zero match of the DNA? He's not my father?

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Speaker 3: WHOA?

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Speaker 5: Not so? Wait?

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Speaker 6: I mean could it be inconclusive because you didn't have

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Speaker 6: enough DNA sample?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they were able to get a DNA profile, it

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Speaker 1: didn't match mine. WHOA?

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Speaker 6: That leaves you in such an awkward position. So who

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Speaker 6: do you talk to your mom? Do you approach him?

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Speaker 1: Well, I haven't told him. I'm so acting like he's

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Speaker 1: my dad. I've decided I can't bring it up to them. No,

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Speaker 1: my mom is done through enough as it is. If

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Speaker 1: she's happy, that's the only thing that really matters. You know,

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Speaker 1: I made peace a long time ago.

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Speaker 5: But why would they be lying to you about it

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Speaker 5: this late in the game.

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Speaker 3: I think she thinks is real.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, she might think it's real.

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Speaker 3: What if it's not his real mom either, and you

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Speaker 3: need the DNA swam.

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Speaker 1: Okay, we're we're not. I'm not doing that.

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Speaker 5: If that's your real dad, that's crazy.

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Speaker 4: So you're just gonna let them both believe that they're

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Speaker 4: your parents.

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Speaker 1: I just think. I think as for all of this time,

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Speaker 1: I found my own piece of it, and I'm not gonna.

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Speaker 1: My mom is happy for the first time in a

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Speaker 1: long time, So just for the sake of her happiness,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna. I'm not going to confront them. But

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Speaker 1: I had to tell somebody because I can't tell anybody

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Speaker 1: I know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I.

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Speaker 5: Hope you're back in therapy. Man.

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Speaker 1: Uh, this has had me set up with the point.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I would imagine that's good. That might be the

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Speaker 5: biggest confession we've ever had on this show.

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Speaker 4: I really appreciate you coming on our show and sharing

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Speaker 4: that with us and text in to seven eight five

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Speaker 4: nine too if you think your Mark's real dad.

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Speaker 3: We want to know.

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Speaker 4: Also text in if you have a confession you've been

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Speaker 4: holding on to. We'll hide your identity, mask your voice,

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Speaker 4: and you can become the next mass speaker.

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Speaker 3: Phone taps coming up right after this

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Speaker 5: Freaking Jeffrey in the morning,