WEBVTT - "I LEFT A CULT AFTER 22 YEARS"

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<v Speaker 1>While they were within the community, they were having drunk

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<v Speaker 1>sex parties.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh man, why'd you leave.

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<v Speaker 1>Because the people having the drunk sex parties left?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh man? Well, did did you gonna invite it after

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<v Speaker 2>the fact, Like, once you finally left, did they invite you?

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<v Speaker 1>Not exactly, They're not really doing that anymore. I did

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<v Speaker 1>get a lap dance from a witch once with one

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<v Speaker 1>of those friends, So that was that was sort of

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<v Speaker 1>a moment where I was like, Hey, this is probably

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<v Speaker 1>as far as from I ever thought I would be.

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<v Speaker 2>What do you mean a lap dance from a witch?

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<v Speaker 2>What did that entail? Dylan?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes?

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<v Speaker 2>How are you? Dylan?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm good?

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<v Speaker 4>How are you?

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<v Speaker 2>I am a gecko on the computer. I wonder how

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<v Speaker 2>many more times I can say that before it gets old.

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<v Speaker 2>What's going on with you? Dylan?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you want to start broadly or right now?

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<v Speaker 2>Hmm, that's a really good question. Do I want to

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<v Speaker 2>start broadly or right now? I kind of want to

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<v Speaker 2>start with you know what, Let's start broadly? Okay, Well,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean listen, it says here that you left the

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<v Speaker 2>Jehovah's Witnesses a couple of years ago, and you want

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<v Speaker 2>to talk about that? Yes, yes, broadly, you know what,

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<v Speaker 2>let's get into it. Tell me, tell me about the JW.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, Well, I know you've had some people on

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<v Speaker 1>here or had experience with it. I mean, my experience

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<v Speaker 1>was very explosive with how I left. I mean, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to get too close, too far into how

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<v Speaker 1>it really started with like everything, I was in it

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<v Speaker 1>for twenty two years, my whole life.

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<v Speaker 2>Twenty two years. Well you're you're twenty four, all right,

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<v Speaker 2>So you were in it from the time you were

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<v Speaker 2>a little You were a little baby knocking door to door,

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<v Speaker 2>spreading the good word.

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<v Speaker 1>With a tiny, tiny briefcase in a diaper. Yep.

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<v Speaker 2>Kind of adorable.

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<v Speaker 1>But many doors were slammed in that baby's face. So

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<v Speaker 1>I handled rejection really well.

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<v Speaker 2>Must feel good to slam a door in a baby's

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<v Speaker 2>face anyway. Anyway, all right, so you start off your

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<v Speaker 2>little baby Jehovah's witness boy, and you know, tell me

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<v Speaker 2>about what that was like growing up in that in

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<v Speaker 2>that community.

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<v Speaker 1>It was, I mean, it had its ups and downs.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean I can't, I really truly can't say that

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<v Speaker 1>it was all bad. I mean, I have my family

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<v Speaker 1>with me, and I love my family, and I loved

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of the friends that I had made, whether

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<v Speaker 1>it was just because they were there or I actually

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<v Speaker 1>pursued a friendship with them, because there's a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>forced friendship in that culture, of course, But you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I never ever truly felt one hundred percent on it.

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted to one hundred percent on it so badly

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<v Speaker 1>because I could everyone else in my family was such

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<v Speaker 1>a golden star in it, you know, like my yeah

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<v Speaker 1>both into it, Like my mom has made missionary trips

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<v Speaker 1>to Africa, like they they're crazy, like.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, So you're in this community and everybody around you believes,

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<v Speaker 2>and so you really want to believe truly.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Like I wanted to wake up every day and

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<v Speaker 1>just be like I have this connection with God, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>and he's he's really he's really guiding me. But I

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<v Speaker 1>never felt like that.

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<v Speaker 5>It was.

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<v Speaker 1>And what I did, whether that was you know, actually

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<v Speaker 1>putting effort into it or being a complete blob and

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<v Speaker 1>not giving a shit about like getting farther in it,

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<v Speaker 1>you know.

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<v Speaker 2>And you said just now, you said something that I

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<v Speaker 2>thought was kind of interesting where you were like a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of these friendships are forced, but you alluded a

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<v Speaker 2>little bit to having if I'm interpreting this correctly. You

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<v Speaker 2>alluded a little bit to having at least a few

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<v Speaker 2>friendships that you pursued intentionally. Is that Is that true?

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<v Speaker 2>Do you feel like you made some genuine friends in

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<v Speaker 2>this community?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, absolutely, And interestingly enough, a couple of these true

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<v Speaker 1>friends are now also exited and I I'm still I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to an LS Dream concert on Friday with a

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<v Speaker 1>couple of them, so that will be fun.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And it makes sense to the people that you would,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, sort of hook up with. There are also

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<v Speaker 2>people who are like, hey, what's fuck's going on with

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<v Speaker 2>all this stuff?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, no, totally. And they left before me, but they

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<v Speaker 1>could not believe that I left when I did, because

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<v Speaker 1>everyone viewed me as a golden child as well, even

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<v Speaker 1>though internally I never.

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<v Speaker 6>Felt that way.

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<v Speaker 2>How did you feel being viewed as a as a

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<v Speaker 2>golden child? Was that like a pressure on you?

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<v Speaker 1>It's funny you should say that, because I didn't realize

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<v Speaker 1>they viewed me as a golden child until after I

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<v Speaker 1>had left, and they told me they weren't inviting me

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<v Speaker 1>to the like drunk sex parties they were having.

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<v Speaker 2>Who was an inbody?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>With the the people within the community. The people who

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<v Speaker 2>left the community were having the drunk sex parties.

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<v Speaker 1>While they were within the community, they were having drunk

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<v Speaker 1>sex parties.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh man, why'd you leave.

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<v Speaker 1>Because the people having the drunk sex parties left?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh oh, okay, all right, So so here's okay. So

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<v Speaker 2>here's what I'm what I'm hearing here is like there's

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<v Speaker 2>a little gang there's a little gang of this, a

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<v Speaker 2>little gang of the factors in here. There's little gang

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<v Speaker 2>of people who are like, hey, what's going on? And

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<v Speaker 2>they but they and you secretly are are a de factor.

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<v Speaker 2>But the factors they look at you as as as

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<v Speaker 2>a golden boy because you're trying to believe so like

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<v Speaker 2>outwardly it would it makes sense that you're giving off

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<v Speaker 2>this golden boy air to you. Is that is that accurate?

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<v Speaker 1>Sort of? Sort of? I mean, I wasn't. I wasn't

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<v Speaker 1>a defector until the day I decided I wanted to leave.

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<v Speaker 1>I believed up until a certain moment, there was always

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<v Speaker 1>a part of me that believed in it and was

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<v Speaker 1>scared of it. But I also had a rebellious streak

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<v Speaker 1>inside me that wanted to like get out there and

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<v Speaker 1>do shit that I wasn't supposed to. But these people

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<v Speaker 1>didn't give a shit earlier than I did, and I

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<v Speaker 1>was much better at avoiding those situations, so which is

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<v Speaker 1>why they never invited me to they're drunk sex parties.

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<v Speaker 2>Man, Well, did did you invite it? After the fact, like,

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<v Speaker 2>once you finally left, did they invite you?

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<v Speaker 1>Not exactly. They're not really doing that more because there

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<v Speaker 1>are adults that are trying to be slightly more.

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<v Speaker 5>Good.

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<v Speaker 1>I did get a lap dance from a witch once

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<v Speaker 1>with one of those friends, so that was That was

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<v Speaker 1>sort of a moment where I was like, Hey, this

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<v Speaker 1>is probably as far as from I ever thought I

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<v Speaker 1>would be.

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<v Speaker 2>What do you mean a lap dance from a witch? What?

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<v Speaker 2>What did that entail? U?

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<v Speaker 1>We had gone to a concert and one of my

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<v Speaker 1>friends met this or had reconnected with this crazy wicked

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<v Speaker 1>girl and we ended up at a tenthouse suite in

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<v Speaker 1>Boston and she was giving lap dances to everyone. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>we were all fucking blasted, and I just was like,

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<v Speaker 1>had this go away from Jesus moment? I guess it's

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<v Speaker 1>the complete opposite of come to Jesus. But she, my god,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm getting a lap dance from a witch. Right now.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and.

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<v Speaker 1>I was trying to get people to open the Good Book.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. You know, it's interesting that you defected, defected, de facted,

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<v Speaker 2>whatever the word is, because I actually was approached on

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<v Speaker 2>the street by a sort I don't think there were Mormons,

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<v Speaker 2>there were Christians, but they were religious people, and when

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<v Speaker 2>I was talking to them, it was very they were very,

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<v Speaker 2>very convinced. No part of my brain felt like these

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<v Speaker 2>people would ever budge on what it is that they

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<v Speaker 2>were spreading the Good Word of So it feels like

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<v Speaker 2>whatever's going on in these communities, I mean they're tight,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, the people who who really truly believe, I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>they fuck be leave.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's one a cult and a lot of people

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<v Speaker 1>don't know that it's starting to get out there. But

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<v Speaker 1>it's super controlling, like scarily. So obviously didn't really realize

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<v Speaker 1>that until doing external research after I had decided to leave.

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<v Speaker 1>But like I I could never go back now, obviously,

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<v Speaker 1>Like it's it's I've taken the red pill, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>or whatever, it's whichever fucking pill he took. I took

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<v Speaker 1>one of.

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<v Speaker 2>Those, so tell me, tell me, all right, So this

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<v Speaker 2>was only two years ago. It's fairly recent So as

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<v Speaker 2>a twenty two year old young man who has been

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<v Speaker 2>living in this, uh, it sounds to me a restrictive

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<v Speaker 2>community for a while. You deflect to fact whatever, whatever

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<v Speaker 2>the word of the day is, that we've been using.

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<v Speaker 2>That I've been using a shit ton all right?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>And and what do what are some of the first

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<v Speaker 2>things you do as a as a free man you

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<v Speaker 2>know that you haven't been able to do for the

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<v Speaker 2>twenty two first years. What were some of the first

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<v Speaker 2>ventures into I guess hedonism that you embarked upon.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I'm I think literally the day after I'd decided

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<v Speaker 1>to leave, I installed Tinder, which makes sense for a

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<v Speaker 1>young man at that page still have it, So it's

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<v Speaker 1>not it's not something I've grown out of. But I

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<v Speaker 1>immediately met a girl and dated her for six months,

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<v Speaker 1>and I was a virgin until I hadn't even kissed

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<v Speaker 1>the girl. I was twenty almost almost twenty two, I

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<v Speaker 1>think it was just about to turn twenty two at

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<v Speaker 1>the time, and never even kissed the girl. So that

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<v Speaker 1>was interesting and crazy trying to figure out maybe if

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<v Speaker 1>I was bisexual or gay or anything. I'm realized I'm straight,

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm boring as fuck. But you know, that was

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<v Speaker 1>an period I tried out because I'm super not Christian

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<v Speaker 1>anymore at all, and I don't have any of those leanings,

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<v Speaker 1>but not that I have anything against it, as long

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<v Speaker 1>as people aren't oppressing other people. But what else? I mean, drugs,

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<v Speaker 1>but not really anything that crazy, just like weed, which

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<v Speaker 1>I don't like. So I'm like, like, what couldn't that

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<v Speaker 1>have worked out for me? Of all Thames?

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<v Speaker 2>So I feel like there's got to be I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>after twenty two years of all that stuff, I feel

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<v Speaker 2>like there's gotta be a significant like adjustments going on.

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<v Speaker 2>It's going to be there's got to be a little

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<v Speaker 2>bit of a period of going like, well, I like

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<v Speaker 2>getting out of jail, like, well, what the fuck do

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<v Speaker 2>I do now?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh? It's fucking nuts? Like, Well, the way it happened

0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:15.680
<v Speaker 1>was I was super before I decided I wanted to leave.

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<v Speaker 1>I was super depressed. A couple of times. I was

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<v Speaker 1>borderline suicidal and I had never been suicidal in my

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<v Speaker 1>life and I didn't ever try anything, but it was

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<v Speaker 1>just getting to a point where it's completely unsustainable. And

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<v Speaker 1>so what happened is I was sitting at the meeting

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<v Speaker 1>they call on Kingdom Halls, but it's really just a church.

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<v Speaker 1>So sitting at the meeting and I am out of

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<v Speaker 1>my mind. I can't focus. I felt horrible, and all

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<v Speaker 1>of a sudden it just popped into my mind. Why

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<v Speaker 1>don't I look up some stuff or material that people

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<v Speaker 1>have who have left have written, So during this fucking

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<v Speaker 1>meeting preaching to me, I'm sitting there. It's actually what

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<v Speaker 1>we call the circuit over to your visit. So like

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<v Speaker 1>this grand puba character is here visiting, trying to like

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<v Speaker 1>build us all up with his grandeur. And I'm looking

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<v Speaker 1>up this shit and took three paragraphs of that online

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<v Speaker 1>article or essay to completely dissolve what was left of

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<v Speaker 1>my face. And I looked up. I'm not fucking crazy.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not that I am not fitting into a place

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<v Speaker 1>where I should be fitting in. It's that I don't

0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:48.920
<v Speaker 1>have to fit in at all. And I should not

0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:55.680
<v Speaker 1>be oppressing and suppressing my character for the sake of

0:14:55.880 --> 0:15:00.760
<v Speaker 1>even people that I love, because it's just not sustainable.

0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:04.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So to that point, for you say, for the

0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:07.840
<v Speaker 2>people that you love, tell me, how did uh talking

0:15:07.840 --> 0:15:13.720
<v Speaker 2>about the process of like reconciling this with your family.

0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:19.040
<v Speaker 1>That That was crazy because that happened like the day,

0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:24.160
<v Speaker 1>A day or two after. I was obviously having a

0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:26.680
<v Speaker 1>lot of inner turmoil and thoughts about it. My mind

0:15:26.720 --> 0:15:30.520
<v Speaker 1>was racing, and you know, reading all this material after

0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:36.359
<v Speaker 1>the fact, after the waking up process had really gone underway.

0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:39.640
<v Speaker 1>I was at work one day cleaning windows, which is

0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:43.440
<v Speaker 1>a super fucking common profession for witnesses. If anyone else

0:15:44.520 --> 0:15:46.640
<v Speaker 1>in the chat used to be in there, it's always

0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:50.000
<v Speaker 1>a joke that witnesses clean windows because it's easy to get.

0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:52.280
<v Speaker 1>But I decided, I'm like, I need to call my

0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:54.960
<v Speaker 1>family right now and tell them because this is on

0:15:55.040 --> 0:15:58.240
<v Speaker 1>my mind. So like, one by one, I just started

0:15:58.280 --> 0:16:02.760
<v Speaker 1>calling people while I was doing my job on my

0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:05.680
<v Speaker 1>Bluetooth headset, and just one by one, each of them

0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:13.320
<v Speaker 1>just completely dumbfounded and aghast and you know, crying and

0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:17.920
<v Speaker 1>begging me to change my mind or and you know,

0:16:19.160 --> 0:16:21.520
<v Speaker 1>somewhat gaslighting me, like we won't be able to talk

0:16:21.560 --> 0:16:24.480
<v Speaker 1>to you anymore, and I'm like, I just can't. I can't.

0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:32.640
<v Speaker 1>So my sisters and my mom and pretty much a

0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:35.800
<v Speaker 1>couple other people, that was the last time I've spoken

0:16:35.840 --> 0:16:38.240
<v Speaker 1>to them, really I have.

0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:40.720
<v Speaker 2>So in the past year, you haven't spoken to your sister,

0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:41.400
<v Speaker 2>your mom at all.

0:16:43.480 --> 0:16:47.360
<v Speaker 1>My sisters have and my mom have not spoken to

0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:54.000
<v Speaker 1>me or reached out at all. My dad my dad

0:16:54.040 --> 0:17:00.760
<v Speaker 1>a couple of times, but that's gotten worse because with

0:17:00.840 --> 0:17:04.760
<v Speaker 1>the whole Ukraine and Russia thing going on, they they

0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:06.720
<v Speaker 1>think that it's the end times. So I think that

0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:10.920
<v Speaker 1>they're really doubling down on their own indoctrination for the

0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:16.119
<v Speaker 1>sake of their own mental health. And it was crazy

0:17:16.119 --> 0:17:19.120
<v Speaker 1>because when I moved out, I lived three minutes from

0:17:19.119 --> 0:17:21.760
<v Speaker 1>my sister, and I remember one day I went up

0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:28.680
<v Speaker 1>to her house with her recently married husband, who opened

0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:31.560
<v Speaker 1>the door, and because I just was like, I just

0:17:31.600 --> 0:17:33.480
<v Speaker 1>want to go see I want to see what happens

0:17:33.520 --> 0:17:35.400
<v Speaker 1>if I go to see her.

0:17:36.080 --> 0:17:39.000
<v Speaker 2>You just went to her house like on a whim.

0:17:40.040 --> 0:17:42.200
<v Speaker 1>On a whim, on a whim after work one day

0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:48.160
<v Speaker 1>since I had left, and I went up to the door.

0:17:49.080 --> 0:17:55.240
<v Speaker 1>Her husband opened the door and he didn't invite me in. Uh,

0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:57.280
<v Speaker 1>like I was with them on their first date. Like

0:17:57.359 --> 0:18:00.040
<v Speaker 1>this is like not somebody I don't know, Like this

0:18:00.160 --> 0:18:06.919
<v Speaker 1>is my my sister's husband who I was all courting period.

0:18:07.320 --> 0:18:10.760
<v Speaker 1>He and I was. He was so awkward and I

0:18:10.800 --> 0:18:12.639
<v Speaker 1>asked for a glass of water because I kind of

0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:15.600
<v Speaker 1>wanted to test it and see if I could get inside. Yeah,

0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:20.240
<v Speaker 1>And he brought it out and I was like, Okay,

0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:21.639
<v Speaker 1>this is how it's going to be. And so I

0:18:21.680 --> 0:18:25.400
<v Speaker 1>was like, he is, is Maddie not going to come

0:18:25.440 --> 0:18:28.320
<v Speaker 1>in or come out? He's like no, I don't think so,

0:18:29.359 --> 0:18:32.199
<v Speaker 1>and I'm like okay. So I turned around and I

0:18:32.240 --> 0:18:35.480
<v Speaker 1>got back in my car. And that's the last attempt

0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:40.879
<v Speaker 1>to at like physical contact with with family it is.

0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:43.160
<v Speaker 1>I mean that was during the height of COVID too.

0:18:43.320 --> 0:18:49.080
<v Speaker 2>So anyway, so, man, how do you how do you

0:18:49.240 --> 0:18:52.879
<v Speaker 2>feel about all of this? Does it is that? Is

0:18:52.920 --> 0:18:56.560
<v Speaker 2>that painful for you? I'd have to imagine.

0:18:57.680 --> 0:19:01.440
<v Speaker 1>It ebbs and flows. Like sometimes I feel like I'm

0:19:01.440 --> 0:19:06.000
<v Speaker 1>a robot because I will think about my family and

0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:09.879
<v Speaker 1>have almost no feeling at all, and that kind of

0:19:11.280 --> 0:19:18.639
<v Speaker 1>because I'm not a sociopath or but I don't feel

0:19:18.640 --> 0:19:23.560
<v Speaker 1>like I have the proper feelings to process it. Like

0:19:23.640 --> 0:19:28.439
<v Speaker 1>I barely cry about it. I sobbed once at a

0:19:28.480 --> 0:19:32.600
<v Speaker 1>friend's house. Well, I was high on weed and a

0:19:32.600 --> 0:19:36.560
<v Speaker 1>little bit drunk, and something just set me off and

0:19:36.600 --> 0:19:39.840
<v Speaker 1>that felt good, and I wanted I wish I could

0:19:39.880 --> 0:19:40.919
<v Speaker 1>do that more.

0:19:42.840 --> 0:19:44.840
<v Speaker 2>You have a desire to be more in touch with

0:19:44.880 --> 0:19:46.199
<v Speaker 2>your emotions about everything.

0:19:46.640 --> 0:19:50.480
<v Speaker 1>Oh I wish I could just sob for hours about

0:19:50.520 --> 0:19:54.720
<v Speaker 1>the trauma I've faced. But you know, like there's just

0:19:54.800 --> 0:20:02.600
<v Speaker 1>like a block. Other times I'm angry, just pissed at

0:20:02.640 --> 0:20:06.280
<v Speaker 1>them that they I don't care that they believe in

0:20:06.280 --> 0:20:10.480
<v Speaker 1>the religion. I don't care that they have a different

0:20:10.520 --> 0:20:15.440
<v Speaker 1>belief system than me. I just want them to recognize

0:20:15.480 --> 0:20:18.720
<v Speaker 1>that I'm the same person and I'm not some hideous

0:20:18.800 --> 0:20:20.720
<v Speaker 1>gargoyle of sin.

0:20:21.080 --> 0:20:21.360
<v Speaker 6>You know.

0:20:23.119 --> 0:20:25.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'd be fucking pissed. If I were you, I'd

0:20:25.240 --> 0:20:27.239
<v Speaker 2>be like, what the fuck? I'm your brother, I'm your son,

0:20:27.320 --> 0:20:31.439
<v Speaker 2>who gives a fuck about all the stupid you know,

0:20:31.760 --> 0:20:35.879
<v Speaker 2>god stuff. It's like, can't you see what's really important here?

0:20:37.000 --> 0:20:37.280
<v Speaker 5>Oh?

0:20:37.400 --> 0:20:42.280
<v Speaker 1>Totally, Well, especially since my dad lost his dad at

0:20:42.440 --> 0:20:45.879
<v Speaker 1>he he died at sixty two, just having like he

0:20:46.000 --> 0:20:47.800
<v Speaker 1>was walking down the street and had a heart attack.

0:20:48.359 --> 0:20:53.879
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, if you would, you would he would

0:20:53.880 --> 0:20:57.639
<v Speaker 1>give anything to see you again, or vice versa. And

0:20:57.760 --> 0:21:02.240
<v Speaker 1>yet I am your son that you held in your arms,

0:21:02.400 --> 0:21:07.399
<v Speaker 1>and you could have me right now, you know, And

0:21:09.080 --> 0:21:11.800
<v Speaker 1>that's just baffling to me, like I can't imagine doing

0:21:11.840 --> 0:21:15.240
<v Speaker 1>that to my future children, Like and I want to

0:21:15.280 --> 0:21:21.159
<v Speaker 1>have children, And I'm like, how I can't mentally parse

0:21:22.920 --> 0:21:25.199
<v Speaker 1>what could carry you away from a child, especially if

0:21:25.240 --> 0:21:27.919
<v Speaker 1>they're not like a fucking murderer or a or a

0:21:28.040 --> 0:21:30.640
<v Speaker 1>rapist or I don't know something.

0:21:30.800 --> 0:21:31.160
<v Speaker 2>You just.

0:21:33.000 --> 0:21:36.080
<v Speaker 1>Even murderer's parents still love them, like you hear about

0:21:36.080 --> 0:21:38.480
<v Speaker 1>it all the time. Yeah, it's like what that.

0:21:41.920 --> 0:21:46.720
<v Speaker 2>M tell me about? Well, I mean, I mean, so Dylan, like,

0:21:46.800 --> 0:21:52.480
<v Speaker 2>what's your life like now? Like, uh, all right, But

0:21:52.600 --> 0:21:55.639
<v Speaker 2>so at the very beginning of this call, we were like, okay,

0:21:55.720 --> 0:21:59.040
<v Speaker 2>broad and then right now, I feel like we covered

0:21:59.040 --> 0:22:03.080
<v Speaker 2>the broad before we go, let's cover the now. Where

0:22:03.119 --> 0:22:05.320
<v Speaker 2>are we? Do we have? Friends? Do we have? I

0:22:05.359 --> 0:22:08.040
<v Speaker 2>know you, I know you that things have been pretty

0:22:08.200 --> 0:22:12.240
<v Speaker 2>fucking tough with the family, But uh, it sounds like yeah,

0:22:12.320 --> 0:22:15.959
<v Speaker 2>cool friends. You know, it sounds like I'm getting I'm

0:22:15.960 --> 0:22:18.879
<v Speaker 2>getting bits and pieces here of like you know, you

0:22:19.000 --> 0:22:21.639
<v Speaker 2>have a support system of some kind. You're not just

0:22:21.720 --> 0:22:25.240
<v Speaker 2>like hanging out in the wind. You know what's going on?

0:22:25.280 --> 0:22:25.560
<v Speaker 3>Now?

0:22:26.800 --> 0:22:31.159
<v Speaker 1>Oh, it's it's true. I mean I really value the friends.

0:22:31.160 --> 0:22:36.240
<v Speaker 1>I think I need to work on valuing the friends

0:22:36.240 --> 0:22:42.280
<v Speaker 1>I have rather than the amount of friends I want.

0:22:42.880 --> 0:22:46.479
<v Speaker 1>And it's unfortunate because I don't always want to just

0:22:46.600 --> 0:22:49.359
<v Speaker 1>connect with other ex witnesses. I want to connect with

0:22:49.440 --> 0:22:52.720
<v Speaker 1>people who aren't because I'm I don't even want to

0:22:52.760 --> 0:22:55.000
<v Speaker 1>consider myself an ex witness. I don't want to be

0:22:55.040 --> 0:22:57.280
<v Speaker 1>Dylan the person who less the religion. I want to

0:22:57.280 --> 0:23:03.680
<v Speaker 1>be Dylan yep, Just Dylan yep. But I really do

0:23:03.920 --> 0:23:08.520
<v Speaker 1>have good friends, and I mean I have a job

0:23:08.640 --> 0:23:14.000
<v Speaker 1>where like people appreciate me, and I just got promoted

0:23:14.920 --> 0:23:18.160
<v Speaker 1>in certified in my job. I'm a chimney sweep now,

0:23:20.119 --> 0:23:25.159
<v Speaker 1>so that's really cool and that's been going great, and

0:23:25.200 --> 0:23:30.960
<v Speaker 1>I can support myself really well, and it's all at

0:23:31.000 --> 0:23:36.120
<v Speaker 1>the expense of leaving, Like I pulled myself up by

0:23:36.160 --> 0:23:41.159
<v Speaker 1>my bootstraps and have my own apartment and pay my

0:23:41.800 --> 0:23:45.000
<v Speaker 1>time and have a good job and can afford to

0:23:45.000 --> 0:23:47.840
<v Speaker 1>go out and have fun sometimes. And it's like, I

0:23:47.960 --> 0:23:50.280
<v Speaker 1>really need to look at that more often and be like,

0:23:50.400 --> 0:23:54.040
<v Speaker 1>you are really fucking fortunate.

0:23:54.280 --> 0:24:02.720
<v Speaker 2>That you Yeah, what are we gonna say? I feel

0:24:02.760 --> 0:24:05.080
<v Speaker 2>like I cut you off. But as you're going to

0:24:05.119 --> 0:24:09.000
<v Speaker 2>go on a self a self motivational thing, I want

0:24:09.000 --> 0:24:09.639
<v Speaker 2>to let you finish that.

0:24:12.240 --> 0:24:16.320
<v Speaker 1>I can try a good attempt to rouse myself from

0:24:16.320 --> 0:24:21.679
<v Speaker 1>the ashes, but it's I think the biggest problem that

0:24:21.720 --> 0:24:26.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm facing right now is that I'm single, which means

0:24:26.040 --> 0:24:31.720
<v Speaker 1>I don't have very much intimacy. And that doesn't include

0:24:31.840 --> 0:24:35.480
<v Speaker 1>just sex. It's just I'm talking like heart to heart

0:24:35.560 --> 0:24:38.200
<v Speaker 1>with somebody that is dedicated to you or at least

0:24:38.240 --> 0:24:39.560
<v Speaker 1>is wanting to get to know you.

0:24:39.960 --> 0:24:40.960
<v Speaker 3>So that's tough.

0:24:42.640 --> 0:24:46.520
<v Speaker 1>Because pretty much the family that I make for myself

0:24:46.720 --> 0:24:49.720
<v Speaker 1>is going to be the family I have for the

0:24:49.760 --> 0:24:53.399
<v Speaker 1>foreseeable future. Like I don't think my I don't. I

0:24:53.440 --> 0:24:56.440
<v Speaker 1>can't assume my family will leave someday and then reconnect

0:24:56.480 --> 0:24:56.720
<v Speaker 1>with me.

0:24:58.680 --> 0:25:04.040
<v Speaker 2>So not having that, yeah, well, Dylan, I you know, look,

0:25:04.080 --> 0:25:06.479
<v Speaker 2>before we go, I want to say, you know, all

0:25:06.640 --> 0:25:11.080
<v Speaker 2>the all the sort of rousing yourself up that you

0:25:11.160 --> 0:25:15.119
<v Speaker 2>were doing, I think it's well earned. I mean, you claw,

0:25:15.320 --> 0:25:20.919
<v Speaker 2>I mean, it takes a lot of fucking balls to

0:25:20.960 --> 0:25:25.040
<v Speaker 2>be born into this life path that's set up for

0:25:25.119 --> 0:25:28.320
<v Speaker 2>you and set up for you pretty damn hard, and

0:25:28.400 --> 0:25:30.679
<v Speaker 2>having all I mean, these people who you you know

0:25:30.720 --> 0:25:35.399
<v Speaker 2>at a young age are like supposed to trust really hard.

0:25:36.000 --> 0:25:39.600
<v Speaker 2>Your mom, your dad, your sister. I mean, these the

0:25:40.480 --> 0:25:43.639
<v Speaker 2>closest people, the people that are supposed to be the

0:25:43.680 --> 0:25:47.240
<v Speaker 2>most worthy of your trust, lay out this path for you,

0:25:47.760 --> 0:25:53.160
<v Speaker 2>and then for you to just from within deflect from

0:25:53.240 --> 0:25:58.280
<v Speaker 2>that and decide for yourself what the right thing to

0:25:58.359 --> 0:26:04.080
<v Speaker 2>do is and then go and then like to have

0:26:04.160 --> 0:26:08.159
<v Speaker 2>those thoughts, to surmise those thoughts and those feelings, and

0:26:08.200 --> 0:26:11.199
<v Speaker 2>the desire to deflect is one thing, and then to

0:26:11.359 --> 0:26:16.879
<v Speaker 2>act on it against what everyone who you're supposed to

0:26:16.920 --> 0:26:20.440
<v Speaker 2>trust is telling you. I mean that that takes fucking guts,

0:26:20.840 --> 0:26:23.920
<v Speaker 2>and it takes a lot of guts. And the fact

0:26:23.920 --> 0:26:26.680
<v Speaker 2>that you were able to do that, and now you've

0:26:26.720 --> 0:26:30.639
<v Speaker 2>got this job, You've got friends, You've you've got a

0:26:30.680 --> 0:26:34.119
<v Speaker 2>fucking apartment that you're paying the rent on. You've you know,

0:26:34.400 --> 0:26:38.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure you'll have a girlfriend soon. You know. You've

0:26:39.000 --> 0:26:42.879
<v Speaker 2>you've built a life from your for yourself, not just

0:26:42.960 --> 0:26:45.280
<v Speaker 2>from I don't even want to say from scratch, Like

0:26:46.280 --> 0:26:49.240
<v Speaker 2>like you had worse circumstances than scratch. You had to

0:26:49.400 --> 0:26:51.960
<v Speaker 2>you were like in the negative. You had to get

0:26:52.000 --> 0:26:54.439
<v Speaker 2>out of that one life and then build a new

0:26:54.520 --> 0:26:57.080
<v Speaker 2>one from scratch. I mean, that's damn impressive, you know,

0:26:57.359 --> 0:27:01.199
<v Speaker 2>so you definitely definitely should be proud of yourself for

0:27:01.320 --> 0:27:04.920
<v Speaker 2>all of that, Dylan, and uh and Matt I, I

0:27:04.920 --> 0:27:08.119
<v Speaker 2>I wish you the best. I'm I'm inspired by by you,

0:27:08.240 --> 0:27:12.240
<v Speaker 2>by anyone who's brave enough to forge their own path,

0:27:13.240 --> 0:27:16.480
<v Speaker 2>you know, so, so props to you and and and

0:27:16.560 --> 0:27:19.159
<v Speaker 2>thank you very much for sharing all of that with

0:27:19.240 --> 0:27:22.160
<v Speaker 2>all of us. You've been on a on a crazy

0:27:22.280 --> 0:27:25.719
<v Speaker 2>journey and and I know you you mentioned that you

0:27:26.520 --> 0:27:31.520
<v Speaker 2>want to be able to process your emotions better. I hope,

0:27:31.560 --> 0:27:33.040
<v Speaker 2>I hope you're able to do that. That sounds like

0:27:33.040 --> 0:27:35.720
<v Speaker 2>some real therapy type of stuff that I hope you're

0:27:35.720 --> 0:27:39.280
<v Speaker 2>able to get a hold of. But damn you know

0:27:39.359 --> 0:27:42.600
<v Speaker 2>you're you're You're an impressive fucking guy, Dylan for real.

0:27:44.840 --> 0:27:48.320
<v Speaker 1>Well, that means a hell of a lot from a

0:27:48.320 --> 0:27:49.840
<v Speaker 1>anthropomorphic lizard.

0:27:50.440 --> 0:27:54.320
<v Speaker 3>I really appreciate it, of course, man, of course.

0:27:54.240 --> 0:27:57.200
<v Speaker 1>Definitely negative tonight. I appreciate it.

0:27:57.080 --> 0:27:59.840
<v Speaker 2>So much, of course. Man, thank you again for sharing.

0:28:01.480 --> 0:28:14.040
<v Speaker 2>Thanks Lyle, Love you, Bud, Take care, Dylan all Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello,

0:28:14.359 --> 0:28:15.560
<v Speaker 2>Hello is this Alisa?

0:28:17.040 --> 0:28:19.960
<v Speaker 5>This is Alisa. Hello. How are you doing all right?

0:28:21.119 --> 0:28:26.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm hanging out, Alisa. Uh, I'm a gecko on the computer.

0:28:26.160 --> 0:28:29.879
<v Speaker 2>I'm living life as best as I can. I hope

0:28:30.119 --> 0:28:30.879
<v Speaker 2>what's going on with you?

0:28:33.280 --> 0:28:36.600
<v Speaker 5>Well, I just had some positivity to share with you today.

0:28:37.200 --> 0:28:38.400
<v Speaker 2>Oh please hit me.

0:28:40.240 --> 0:28:41.040
<v Speaker 3>So on the.

0:28:41.040 --> 0:28:46.840
<v Speaker 5>Topic of large boobs, I actually had gigantic, huge boobs

0:28:47.320 --> 0:28:53.680
<v Speaker 5>and I recently got them chopped. And the positive news, yes,

0:28:54.200 --> 0:28:57.280
<v Speaker 5>I did. And the positive news about this is that

0:28:57.360 --> 0:29:01.680
<v Speaker 5>it is the most life changing thing, most positive things

0:29:02.280 --> 0:29:04.880
<v Speaker 5>I could have ever done for myself. And I feel

0:29:05.040 --> 0:29:08.880
<v Speaker 5>like a new woman, completely a new person. I feel free.

0:29:11.320 --> 0:29:15.400
<v Speaker 2>What inspired you to do? The shopping.

0:29:17.280 --> 0:29:22.760
<v Speaker 5>So happy, Marge? Booths is very difficult. It actually hinders

0:29:22.800 --> 0:29:26.960
<v Speaker 5>your movement a lot more than I realized until now.

0:29:28.000 --> 0:29:31.320
<v Speaker 5>And I can't buy like bras anywhere. I have to

0:29:31.400 --> 0:29:34.680
<v Speaker 5>like special order them for like seventy or eighty bucks

0:29:34.720 --> 0:29:37.240
<v Speaker 5>because like I had huge boobs, like I had to

0:29:37.240 --> 0:29:42.640
<v Speaker 5>buy like custom bros. And yeah, I can like run

0:29:42.720 --> 0:29:43.800
<v Speaker 5>up the stairs quickly.

0:29:44.840 --> 0:29:45.440
<v Speaker 1>It's crazy.

0:29:45.600 --> 0:29:49.160
<v Speaker 5>I'm just like my life has completely changed. They could

0:29:49.160 --> 0:29:52.440
<v Speaker 5>they took off ten pounds or like a little over

0:29:52.520 --> 0:29:53.600
<v Speaker 5>ten pounds.

0:29:53.520 --> 0:30:00.280
<v Speaker 2>Ten pounds total, I think it was total total. So

0:30:00.800 --> 0:30:05.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm curious, So, uh, you know, how long have you

0:30:05.920 --> 0:30:10.200
<v Speaker 2>had large boobs? And then what made what was like

0:30:10.360 --> 0:30:13.560
<v Speaker 2>the final straw where you're like, all right, I'm getting

0:30:13.560 --> 0:30:16.720
<v Speaker 2>these I'm getting rid of these guys.

0:30:17.800 --> 0:30:21.360
<v Speaker 5>Well, I had funny story is the first time I

0:30:21.400 --> 0:30:24.560
<v Speaker 5>remember my boobs like getting in the way of my life.

0:30:25.400 --> 0:30:29.200
<v Speaker 5>I was actually in third grade, and I remember I

0:30:29.240 --> 0:30:32.240
<v Speaker 5>like forgot to wear my like training bra to third grade,

0:30:32.240 --> 0:30:34.560
<v Speaker 5>which is like way too early to have a training bra,

0:30:35.640 --> 0:30:37.600
<v Speaker 5>and I forgot to wear it. And I remember like

0:30:37.680 --> 0:30:40.040
<v Speaker 5>calling my mom from the office and I was too

0:30:40.080 --> 0:30:43.240
<v Speaker 5>nervous to say the word bra, so I just called

0:30:43.280 --> 0:30:46.320
<v Speaker 5>and I was like, Mom, I forgot my underwear, Like

0:30:46.360 --> 0:30:48.640
<v Speaker 5>I don't have my undergarments because I didn't want to

0:30:48.640 --> 0:30:49.200
<v Speaker 5>say anything.

0:30:50.560 --> 0:30:56.080
<v Speaker 2>And because you're like on the on the phone like whatever,

0:30:56.120 --> 0:30:59.080
<v Speaker 2>the principal or office person is all like watching you

0:30:59.120 --> 0:30:59.640
<v Speaker 2>and shit.

0:31:00.720 --> 0:31:01.120
<v Speaker 7>Oh yeah.

0:31:01.120 --> 0:31:03.080
<v Speaker 5>And I went to a Catholic school, so they're like

0:31:03.160 --> 0:31:07.040
<v Speaker 5>staring at me on the phone and I'm like, yeah,

0:31:07.120 --> 0:31:10.920
<v Speaker 5>can you bring this and she yeah, she was like,

0:31:11.040 --> 0:31:12.600
<v Speaker 5>well you'll just last at the end of the day,

0:31:12.600 --> 0:31:15.760
<v Speaker 5>it'll be fine. I was uncomfortable all day and I

0:31:15.800 --> 0:31:17.479
<v Speaker 5>got home and my mom was like, why the hell

0:31:17.560 --> 0:31:20.320
<v Speaker 5>didn't you put on underwear this morning? And I was

0:31:20.400 --> 0:31:22.080
<v Speaker 5>like no, I didn't wear my bra and it was

0:31:22.080 --> 0:31:25.160
<v Speaker 5>really uncomfortable. And then ever since then, it's been like

0:31:25.320 --> 0:31:31.760
<v Speaker 5>exponential each year, like how big they got. And you know,

0:31:31.880 --> 0:31:33.440
<v Speaker 5>I was having a lot of back pain when I

0:31:33.440 --> 0:31:38.160
<v Speaker 5>got to into college and just genuinely uncomfortable, like couldn't

0:31:38.160 --> 0:31:41.760
<v Speaker 5>do things like the pendulum on my chest would just

0:31:41.800 --> 0:31:44.480
<v Speaker 5>like drag me in several directions anytime I tried to

0:31:44.520 --> 0:31:47.920
<v Speaker 5>be active or like you know, move my body like

0:31:47.960 --> 0:31:50.959
<v Speaker 5>a normal human. And I think I finally got up

0:31:51.000 --> 0:31:54.760
<v Speaker 5>to a thirty eight N and I was like all right,

0:31:54.880 --> 0:31:58.200
<v Speaker 5>like I literally can't do this anymore, like I've got

0:31:58.200 --> 0:31:58.920
<v Speaker 5>to get a reduction.

0:32:00.200 --> 0:32:02.480
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, they so they were growing, so they just

0:32:02.600 --> 0:32:04.520
<v Speaker 2>never stopped growing.

0:32:06.680 --> 0:32:08.920
<v Speaker 5>That's what I think. That's my theory, because they were

0:32:08.920 --> 0:32:12.160
<v Speaker 5>bigger every single year. Like I always was replacing bras,

0:32:12.200 --> 0:32:13.920
<v Speaker 5>and like I said, these things are not cheap.

0:32:15.760 --> 0:32:19.560
<v Speaker 2>So you went from an end to what are you now?

0:32:21.280 --> 0:32:23.320
<v Speaker 5>I'm like a handful now. I don't even know what

0:32:23.400 --> 0:32:27.680
<v Speaker 5>I am. I haven't even measured. I'm like wearing sports

0:32:27.720 --> 0:32:31.600
<v Speaker 5>bras every day sometimes brawless. I would guess that I'm

0:32:31.640 --> 0:32:35.080
<v Speaker 5>like a D or C now, which to me is

0:32:35.160 --> 0:32:38.080
<v Speaker 5>like minischool and very tiny and I'm very happy.

0:32:40.040 --> 0:32:42.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this is a good PSA for other people who

0:32:42.240 --> 0:32:44.760
<v Speaker 2>are struggling with similar issues.

0:32:46.360 --> 0:32:48.680
<v Speaker 5>Oh yes, I have one hundred percent recommend it. I

0:32:48.720 --> 0:32:51.200
<v Speaker 5>know a lot of people kind of get caught up

0:32:51.240 --> 0:32:55.440
<v Speaker 5>and like the male gaze or like self worse things,

0:32:55.560 --> 0:32:57.200
<v Speaker 5>And I know that can be hard. But if you

0:32:57.200 --> 0:33:01.080
<v Speaker 5>can get through that, like truly, I feel like so free.

0:33:01.240 --> 0:33:03.520
<v Speaker 5>I don't think. I was asked the other day by

0:33:03.560 --> 0:33:06.760
<v Speaker 5>my partner, like what amount of money I would like

0:33:07.000 --> 0:33:11.080
<v Speaker 5>exchange now knowing how I feel, and like the amount

0:33:11.080 --> 0:33:13.040
<v Speaker 5>of money that I would exchange for how I feel

0:33:13.120 --> 0:33:16.560
<v Speaker 5>right now, and like every morning is like like I

0:33:16.600 --> 0:33:18.320
<v Speaker 5>would pay like all the money I ever earned in

0:33:18.360 --> 0:33:20.720
<v Speaker 5>my life to feel like this really okay?

0:33:20.760 --> 0:33:24.080
<v Speaker 2>So if somebody off if somebody offered you ten million

0:33:24.160 --> 0:33:26.080
<v Speaker 2>dollars to go back to the old boobs, to the

0:33:26.120 --> 0:33:27.920
<v Speaker 2>thirty eight ends, you would you would turn it down.

0:33:29.000 --> 0:33:32.920
<v Speaker 5>Oh my god, yeah, I'd turn it down for sure.

0:33:33.840 --> 0:33:37.960
<v Speaker 5>So low key debilitating. So it's kind of like a

0:33:38.040 --> 0:33:41.160
<v Speaker 5>disability almost.

0:33:40.320 --> 0:33:44.160
<v Speaker 2>The yeah, do you should be you should be able

0:33:44.160 --> 0:33:46.440
<v Speaker 2>to if if you have over a certain cup size,

0:33:46.440 --> 0:33:49.760
<v Speaker 2>you should be able to hang one of those Uh, uh,

0:33:49.880 --> 0:33:53.840
<v Speaker 2>disabled things that you're park in those spots.

0:33:55.480 --> 0:33:57.880
<v Speaker 5>Well, I don't know about that, but it's definitely bad.

0:33:57.920 --> 0:34:00.760
<v Speaker 2>There's a lot of things I could not do, so

0:34:02.120 --> 0:34:05.200
<v Speaker 2>were there And it sounds like, you know, obviously after

0:34:05.240 --> 0:34:09.440
<v Speaker 2>the fact, after the surgery took place, you're like, Okay,

0:34:09.719 --> 0:34:13.719
<v Speaker 2>so glad I did it. You know it was debilitating

0:34:13.760 --> 0:34:16.840
<v Speaker 2>and I'm in a new place. But I mean, beforehand,

0:34:18.239 --> 0:34:21.200
<v Speaker 2>before you knew how great it was going to be,

0:34:22.040 --> 0:34:25.640
<v Speaker 2>did you have any apprehensions going into it. Was there

0:34:25.680 --> 0:34:28.200
<v Speaker 2>any part of you thinking thinking not to do it?

0:34:28.320 --> 0:34:33.720
<v Speaker 2>Or was it a very much gung ho, no regrets,

0:34:33.760 --> 0:34:37.719
<v Speaker 2>go for it decision from the beginning that it that

0:34:37.800 --> 0:34:39.640
<v Speaker 2>it happened that you decided.

0:34:41.239 --> 0:34:44.000
<v Speaker 5>I would say, like at the very beginning, when it

0:34:44.080 --> 0:34:46.720
<v Speaker 5>first popped into my head, I was still like working

0:34:46.760 --> 0:34:50.440
<v Speaker 5>on some like yeah, like self warth issues or like

0:34:50.520 --> 0:34:53.759
<v Speaker 5>dealing with the melgaze, and like I'm not gonna lie,

0:34:53.920 --> 0:34:56.840
<v Speaker 5>Like I had really nice boobs. They were awesome. I

0:34:56.880 --> 0:34:58.840
<v Speaker 5>will say a lot of people with the ends of

0:34:58.880 --> 0:35:02.520
<v Speaker 5>the boobs I had, they were like damn near symmetrical too.

0:35:02.560 --> 0:35:06.080
<v Speaker 5>They were awesome. But as I the thought entered my

0:35:06.160 --> 0:35:08.920
<v Speaker 5>head for the first time, every time After that, I

0:35:09.040 --> 0:35:12.040
<v Speaker 5>just got closer and closer to being like, well, I

0:35:12.080 --> 0:35:14.520
<v Speaker 5>don't actually care because I want to be able to

0:35:14.719 --> 0:35:19.120
<v Speaker 5>like move my body and like not spend eighty dollars

0:35:19.120 --> 0:35:22.480
<v Speaker 5>on bras. And then yeah, it just escalated until I

0:35:22.600 --> 0:35:26.000
<v Speaker 5>was like, actually got on the wait list for the

0:35:26.080 --> 0:35:28.880
<v Speaker 5>surgery center and I told them to like call me

0:35:29.040 --> 0:35:31.560
<v Speaker 5>if any spots opened up. And one day they called

0:35:31.600 --> 0:35:34.160
<v Speaker 5>me and they were like, like, I was supposed to

0:35:34.160 --> 0:35:36.680
<v Speaker 5>be seen in like two months. Yeah, and they were

0:35:36.719 --> 0:35:39.239
<v Speaker 5>like two days, like, you just got to get a

0:35:39.280 --> 0:35:41.880
<v Speaker 5>COVID test, you got to be with the anesthesia screener,

0:35:42.560 --> 0:35:44.640
<v Speaker 5>make it down here. And I was like deal. I

0:35:44.680 --> 0:35:46.880
<v Speaker 5>called into work, took a week off. I was like,

0:35:46.960 --> 0:35:51.200
<v Speaker 5>I'm busy, went up there and did it. It was awesome.

0:35:52.719 --> 0:35:55.480
<v Speaker 2>I so, so before we go, tell us some other

0:35:55.520 --> 0:35:59.760
<v Speaker 2>things that you can now do now after the surgery

0:35:59.800 --> 0:36:01.440
<v Speaker 2>that you couldn't do before, so that we get a

0:36:02.120 --> 0:36:06.960
<v Speaker 2>idea of, you know, how debilitating it was to have,

0:36:07.440 --> 0:36:10.000
<v Speaker 2>you know, end cups.

0:36:11.200 --> 0:36:14.919
<v Speaker 5>Now I can go for walks comfortably and easily. Soon

0:36:14.960 --> 0:36:17.560
<v Speaker 5>I'm going to be able to run with doctor's orders.

0:36:17.960 --> 0:36:21.440
<v Speaker 5>I did a summersault the other day. Pretty sick.

0:36:22.680 --> 0:36:23.960
<v Speaker 3>In general, with ends.

0:36:25.280 --> 0:36:28.760
<v Speaker 5>Oh hell no, that shit is not is not comfortable

0:36:28.800 --> 0:36:29.080
<v Speaker 5>at all.

0:36:29.200 --> 0:36:32.279
<v Speaker 2>I would like hit you in the face, knock you unconscious.

0:36:33.200 --> 0:36:35.560
<v Speaker 5>Oh yeah, like I bet you I could hang upside

0:36:35.600 --> 0:36:37.640
<v Speaker 5>down now. I could not do that ship before I

0:36:37.680 --> 0:36:41.880
<v Speaker 5>would start choking. Mm hmmm, dead ass. So yeah, I

0:36:41.920 --> 0:36:43.680
<v Speaker 5>don't know. It's really awesome. I can do a lot

0:36:43.719 --> 0:36:47.360
<v Speaker 5>of stuff I'm really excited to, like, oh yeah, clothes,

0:36:47.440 --> 0:36:50.719
<v Speaker 5>I can buy normal sized clothes now, Like I don't know,

0:36:50.760 --> 0:36:53.960
<v Speaker 5>I can just be in general, like more active and

0:36:54.080 --> 0:36:55.839
<v Speaker 5>the more I heal, the more stuff I'm going.

0:36:55.840 --> 0:36:56.520
<v Speaker 1>To be able to do.

0:36:56.640 --> 0:37:02.040
<v Speaker 5>So truly, like, if anyone thinking about it, like do

0:37:02.120 --> 0:37:04.440
<v Speaker 5>your research and like go for it. I think the

0:37:04.520 --> 0:37:07.319
<v Speaker 5>benefits far outweigh the cost.

0:37:07.920 --> 0:37:13.800
<v Speaker 2>Well, Alicia, that's your name, right, Alisa, Alisa, Well Alisau.

0:37:15.360 --> 0:37:18.200
<v Speaker 2>Happy for you on your new found lease of life.

0:37:19.840 --> 0:37:23.760
<v Speaker 2>Hopefully you've inspired other people to you know, gain theirs

0:37:23.840 --> 0:37:26.680
<v Speaker 2>and all the power to you. Thank you for sharing.

0:37:28.239 --> 0:37:30.040
<v Speaker 5>Awesome, Thank you so much, love the podcast.

0:37:30.440 --> 0:37:32.160
<v Speaker 2>Have a good one, Thank you, Lisa.

0:37:33.920 --> 0:37:34.200
<v Speaker 5>Bye.

0:37:35.680 --> 0:37:40.359
<v Speaker 8>Hello, Alyssa, Hello, how are you doing?

0:37:42.920 --> 0:37:47.719
<v Speaker 2>I am a gecko on the computer. You know, I

0:37:47.719 --> 0:37:50.920
<v Speaker 2>have noticed I've been thinking about this. The audio version

0:37:51.000 --> 0:37:56.360
<v Speaker 2>of this show. They can't really tell that I'm a gecko.

0:37:56.440 --> 0:37:57.799
<v Speaker 2>Oh I don't know if they can hear it. And

0:37:57.840 --> 0:37:59.160
<v Speaker 2>it kind of doesn't matter.

0:38:00.200 --> 0:38:04.160
<v Speaker 9>Well with a picture on the podcast right now, So

0:38:04.200 --> 0:38:04.800
<v Speaker 9>maybe there.

0:38:04.719 --> 0:38:08.800
<v Speaker 2>Is together, you know, right right there is a picture

0:38:08.840 --> 0:38:12.520
<v Speaker 2>on the thing, you know. I mean, I could rather

0:38:14.680 --> 0:38:17.840
<v Speaker 2>not in a gecko thing and it would be the

0:38:17.840 --> 0:38:19.600
<v Speaker 2>same thing, but it kind of wouldn't be the same

0:38:19.640 --> 0:38:23.960
<v Speaker 2>thing and all. Also because being a gecko affects my

0:38:24.080 --> 0:38:27.200
<v Speaker 2>words and affects your words and whatnot. I feel like

0:38:27.239 --> 0:38:28.960
<v Speaker 2>you have a take on this, and I keep interrupting you.

0:38:31.440 --> 0:38:35.279
<v Speaker 9>Yeah, I have a lot to say, you know, I

0:38:35.320 --> 0:38:37.560
<v Speaker 9>think the gecko suit gives it like a little bit

0:38:37.600 --> 0:38:40.840
<v Speaker 9>more but like a little like a lot of a

0:38:40.880 --> 0:38:44.960
<v Speaker 9>lot more effect than maybe you would have if you

0:38:45.040 --> 0:38:46.239
<v Speaker 9>didn't wear the gecko suit.

0:38:48.000 --> 0:38:51.640
<v Speaker 2>M it's a little bit of extra. No, I agree

0:38:51.640 --> 0:38:53.360
<v Speaker 2>with you fully. I think it's a little bit of extra.

0:38:54.560 --> 0:38:59.680
<v Speaker 2>It's a slight bit of extra anonymousness. I know I'm

0:38:59.719 --> 0:39:02.560
<v Speaker 2>not innymous and my name is on the podcast and

0:39:02.680 --> 0:39:04.840
<v Speaker 2>I tell people my name is Lyle and stuff, but

0:39:05.320 --> 0:39:07.319
<v Speaker 2>it does I do want it to feel like you're

0:39:07.360 --> 0:39:12.319
<v Speaker 2>just talking to this entity that that barely exists. This

0:39:12.400 --> 0:39:13.160
<v Speaker 2>gettos like.

0:39:13.200 --> 0:39:16.360
<v Speaker 9>That won't judge you, And sure, yeah, I get what

0:39:16.400 --> 0:39:17.000
<v Speaker 9>you're going before.

0:39:18.640 --> 0:39:24.399
<v Speaker 2>But enough about me and my silly, silly predicaments. What's

0:39:24.440 --> 0:39:25.920
<v Speaker 2>going on with you Melyssa.

0:39:27.719 --> 0:39:30.360
<v Speaker 9>Well, it's a bit of a long story.

0:39:30.640 --> 0:39:34.960
<v Speaker 2>So what's the give me the give me the gist.

0:39:35.200 --> 0:39:40.080
<v Speaker 2>Let's Taran, Let's let's tarantino this. You know, let's start

0:39:40.800 --> 0:39:43.120
<v Speaker 2>with the let's start in the middle.

0:39:45.040 --> 0:39:49.000
<v Speaker 9>In the middle. Oh, well, the middle, that's probably be

0:39:49.040 --> 0:39:54.719
<v Speaker 9>the worst part. So basically the middle would be that

0:39:55.840 --> 0:39:57.919
<v Speaker 9>I found out that I was related to the guy

0:39:57.920 --> 0:39:58.640
<v Speaker 9>that I was dating.

0:39:59.440 --> 0:40:03.840
<v Speaker 2>That's the all that's you know what, that's a great middle,

0:40:04.360 --> 0:40:09.239
<v Speaker 2>that's a great hook I'm now interested in. Let's hear

0:40:09.280 --> 0:40:10.200
<v Speaker 2>the full story.

0:40:11.000 --> 0:40:13.520
<v Speaker 9>So basically, I met this guy on Tinder. I matched

0:40:13.560 --> 0:40:17.440
<v Speaker 9>with them, and I really liked him, and we've been

0:40:17.520 --> 0:40:21.439
<v Speaker 9>dating for about like six months now, and a couple

0:40:21.480 --> 0:40:24.520
<v Speaker 9>of weeks ago we took like a DNA test, like

0:40:24.560 --> 0:40:28.160
<v Speaker 9>an on an ancestry dot com. And I guess I

0:40:28.160 --> 0:40:31.040
<v Speaker 9>should mention that we had the same birthday when we

0:40:31.080 --> 0:40:32.759
<v Speaker 9>first met, but you know, a lot of people have

0:40:32.840 --> 0:40:35.040
<v Speaker 9>the same birthday, so we didn't really think anything of it,

0:40:35.160 --> 0:40:41.520
<v Speaker 9>you know, just a coincidence. But anyways, back to the story. Okay,

0:40:41.560 --> 0:40:43.520
<v Speaker 9>so we took it. We noticed we had a lot

0:40:43.520 --> 0:40:48.279
<v Speaker 9>of similar relatives. And I don't know if you heard

0:40:48.280 --> 0:40:51.319
<v Speaker 9>the part where I said we had the same birthday coincidental.

0:40:51.360 --> 0:40:52.920
<v Speaker 9>A lot of people have the same birthday. I know

0:40:52.920 --> 0:40:54.600
<v Speaker 9>it like five or six people that the same birthday

0:40:54.600 --> 0:40:57.920
<v Speaker 9>as me. But when we started figuring out we had

0:40:57.920 --> 0:41:00.520
<v Speaker 9>the same relatives on the ancestry dot com, Okay, this

0:41:00.640 --> 0:41:03.480
<v Speaker 9>is kind of concerning. So we brought it up to

0:41:03.520 --> 0:41:10.719
<v Speaker 9>our parents and sure enough, we are actually twins. And

0:41:10.800 --> 0:41:13.000
<v Speaker 9>the reason we didn't know is because we are separated

0:41:13.560 --> 0:41:17.759
<v Speaker 9>a month after we were born, because our parents got

0:41:17.800 --> 0:41:19.359
<v Speaker 9>separated and one took the other.

0:41:25.200 --> 0:41:28.120
<v Speaker 2>And your parents didn't know this.

0:41:29.920 --> 0:41:33.719
<v Speaker 9>Well, they didn't know, like they didn't keep in contact

0:41:33.760 --> 0:41:36.520
<v Speaker 9>with each other. I don't know why. It's really kind

0:41:36.520 --> 0:41:42.960
<v Speaker 9>of messed up. But yeah, I know, it's really really crazy.

0:41:44.760 --> 0:41:47.960
<v Speaker 2>So how long were you dating this guy before you

0:41:48.000 --> 0:41:49.000
<v Speaker 2>found out he was your twin?

0:41:50.600 --> 0:41:51.320
<v Speaker 9>Six months?

0:41:52.239 --> 0:41:52.920
<v Speaker 2>Six months?

0:41:54.320 --> 0:41:55.040
<v Speaker 8>Six months?

0:41:55.560 --> 0:41:56.360
<v Speaker 2>Did you guys?

0:42:00.640 --> 0:42:09.920
<v Speaker 9>Listen? I don't want to say listen, you can't. We

0:42:10.080 --> 0:42:14.000
<v Speaker 9>neither of us knew. And that's also another thing, like

0:42:14.080 --> 0:42:16.560
<v Speaker 9>I feel kind of gross about it? But should I?

0:42:16.800 --> 0:42:18.640
<v Speaker 9>Because should I? Because I didn't know?

0:42:20.880 --> 0:42:22.319
<v Speaker 2>How how do you feel about it?

0:42:24.400 --> 0:42:27.520
<v Speaker 9>I feel I do. I do feel kind of gross

0:42:27.560 --> 0:42:31.640
<v Speaker 9>about it, because I mean, who wouldn't. But at the

0:42:31.680 --> 0:42:34.359
<v Speaker 9>same time, like, I also feel so contradicted, like should

0:42:34.400 --> 0:42:37.839
<v Speaker 9>I feel bad when I didn't know? And I also

0:42:37.920 --> 0:42:40.480
<v Speaker 9>don't know if I should keep in contact with him?

0:42:41.560 --> 0:42:42.040
<v Speaker 9>He's here?

0:42:42.120 --> 0:42:45.080
<v Speaker 2>Actually, oh he's he's with you.

0:42:46.719 --> 0:42:47.480
<v Speaker 9>He is with me.

0:42:48.280 --> 0:42:51.359
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, let's get him on the phone.

0:42:51.640 --> 0:42:53.399
<v Speaker 9>Okay, you want to talk to him right now?

0:42:53.760 --> 0:43:04.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Absolutely, okay, here he is. All right, So you

0:43:04.560 --> 0:43:07.320
<v Speaker 2>get sex with your sister. How do you how do

0:43:07.360 --> 0:43:07.720
<v Speaker 2>you feel?

0:43:12.800 --> 0:43:19.120
<v Speaker 8>Well, you know, you know, we didn't know. Uh, it's

0:43:19.200 --> 0:43:23.640
<v Speaker 8>kind of weird. I don't I don't really like it,

0:43:23.680 --> 0:43:27.080
<v Speaker 8>but you know, at the same time, I do care

0:43:27.120 --> 0:43:29.560
<v Speaker 8>about it, And you know, we've been dating for six

0:43:29.680 --> 0:43:35.160
<v Speaker 8>months and I don't know. I feel like you can

0:43:35.200 --> 0:43:36.360
<v Speaker 8>see how this is conflicting.

0:43:37.200 --> 0:43:44.319
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm. So what's what's your guys' relationship? Like now, I.

0:43:44.239 --> 0:43:47.799
<v Speaker 8>Mean it's a little it's a little awkward now, but

0:43:47.920 --> 0:43:52.040
<v Speaker 8>it was going really good up until we found that out.

0:43:52.239 --> 0:43:54.920
<v Speaker 8>But now it's been a little Yeah, it's been a

0:43:54.960 --> 0:43:59.600
<v Speaker 8>little awkward recently. So yeah, we've been just been like

0:43:59.640 --> 0:44:01.439
<v Speaker 8>thinking what to do about it.

0:44:03.560 --> 0:44:09.799
<v Speaker 2>Have your parents gotten back together with each other when

0:44:09.920 --> 0:44:11.719
<v Speaker 2>when you guys were separated at birth, is it like

0:44:13.040 --> 0:44:16.160
<v Speaker 2>was it like one parent kept one kid, one parent

0:44:16.239 --> 0:44:17.560
<v Speaker 2>kept the other kid type of deal.

0:44:18.960 --> 0:44:19.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:44:19.280 --> 0:44:24.080
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, my mom kept me and our dad kept her,

0:44:24.760 --> 0:44:26.640
<v Speaker 8>and they've both gotten remarried since.

0:44:28.320 --> 0:44:35.160
<v Speaker 2>So in these past six months, you never introduced either

0:44:35.239 --> 0:44:37.480
<v Speaker 2>of each other to your family.

0:44:40.960 --> 0:44:43.719
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, like like I met her parents and she met

0:44:43.719 --> 0:44:48.520
<v Speaker 8>my parents. They just like they had never like obviously,

0:44:49.840 --> 0:44:53.160
<v Speaker 8>we didn't recognize each other because we haven't seen each

0:44:53.200 --> 0:44:55.799
<v Speaker 8>other since like I was a month old, and they

0:44:56.239 --> 0:44:59.560
<v Speaker 8>kill our parents didn't keep in contact and they just

0:44:59.640 --> 0:45:03.000
<v Speaker 8>kind of read to each take one. I'm not really

0:45:03.040 --> 0:45:09.360
<v Speaker 8>sure because we believed our whole lives that are what

0:45:09.520 --> 0:45:12.200
<v Speaker 8>actually was our our stepparents, was our real parents.

0:45:14.760 --> 0:45:16.879
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so this is sort of a lot of revelations

0:45:16.920 --> 0:45:17.359
<v Speaker 2>going on.

0:45:17.680 --> 0:45:21.640
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, yeah, it's a big it's a big life life thing,

0:45:21.719 --> 0:45:24.920
<v Speaker 8>not just a relationship. But so our parents have been

0:45:25.000 --> 0:45:28.799
<v Speaker 8>lying to us for sometimes twenty years.

0:45:29.160 --> 0:45:29.319
<v Speaker 4>So.

0:45:31.320 --> 0:45:31.719
<v Speaker 3>Mm hmm.

0:45:33.040 --> 0:45:39.480
<v Speaker 2>Okay, And have your parents, since finding out that you

0:45:39.520 --> 0:45:42.400
<v Speaker 2>two data for six months gotten back in contact with

0:45:42.440 --> 0:45:42.759
<v Speaker 2>each other.

0:45:46.200 --> 0:45:51.040
<v Speaker 8>No, no, they y. I don't really know. It's it's

0:45:51.080 --> 0:45:53.359
<v Speaker 8>been kind of awkward. We haven't really talked with our

0:45:53.360 --> 0:45:56.520
<v Speaker 8>parents that much since finding out because we've been kind

0:45:56.520 --> 0:45:59.000
<v Speaker 8>of like upset with them.

0:45:59.680 --> 0:46:00.560
<v Speaker 2>Do they do they know?

0:46:03.400 --> 0:46:03.640
<v Speaker 1>Uh?

0:46:03.719 --> 0:46:14.600
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, they they found out that war dating. Yeah, they

0:46:14.600 --> 0:46:18.560
<v Speaker 8>thought it was pretty weird as you can imagine.

0:46:21.000 --> 0:46:24.480
<v Speaker 2>Interesting. So so what what what do we think is

0:46:24.560 --> 0:46:25.040
<v Speaker 2>next here?

0:46:28.640 --> 0:46:30.600
<v Speaker 8>Well, you know, that's kind of why we're calling you

0:46:30.680 --> 0:46:36.439
<v Speaker 8>get because we're like, we do we keep dating? Do we?

0:46:38.920 --> 0:46:42.360
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I think this one might be above

0:46:42.400 --> 0:46:44.799
<v Speaker 2>my pay right here? Have you spoken to a real

0:46:44.880 --> 0:46:45.759
<v Speaker 2>therapist about this?

0:46:47.560 --> 0:46:50.680
<v Speaker 8>We have not. No, this is you know, necess fairly recent.

0:46:51.520 --> 0:46:52.719
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmmm mm hmm.

0:46:53.719 --> 0:46:54.880
<v Speaker 8>Perhaps we should pick into that.

0:46:55.880 --> 0:47:00.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, totally. Well it's I you know, look, it's well,

0:47:01.239 --> 0:47:08.040
<v Speaker 2>it's nice that you guys are still friends. Yeah, yeah,

0:47:08.719 --> 0:47:09.960
<v Speaker 2>you know, friendship is important.

0:47:11.280 --> 0:47:14.640
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, yeah, you know it's good. You know, now I

0:47:14.640 --> 0:47:15.480
<v Speaker 8>have a sister.

0:47:17.000 --> 0:47:21.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. See, I think that's the truth, right, I think

0:47:21.520 --> 0:47:23.879
<v Speaker 2>you have to look on the bright side of this.

0:47:24.520 --> 0:47:28.120
<v Speaker 2>You may lose a lover, but you've gained a sister,

0:47:28.640 --> 0:47:31.960
<v Speaker 2>and that, at the end of the day is what's important.

0:47:33.840 --> 0:47:34.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:47:34.280 --> 0:47:39.480
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, that's another point. I think to her, maybe let

0:47:39.520 --> 0:47:39.799
<v Speaker 8>me let.

0:47:39.760 --> 0:47:40.960
<v Speaker 2>Me, let me let me talk to her.

0:47:42.520 --> 0:47:48.480
<v Speaker 9>Here she is, Hello, Uh.

0:47:48.120 --> 0:47:52.880
<v Speaker 2>What did you say? Your name was, Alyssa? I think

0:47:53.320 --> 0:47:58.840
<v Speaker 2>I was talking with what's your brother's name? Boyfriend? Or

0:47:59.800 --> 0:48:04.440
<v Speaker 2>are talking with Archer and I think we've decided that

0:48:04.440 --> 0:48:05.719
<v Speaker 2>we're going to look on the bright side of this.

0:48:06.800 --> 0:48:10.719
<v Speaker 2>You know, you have lost a lover. You've lost a lover,

0:48:11.880 --> 0:48:18.520
<v Speaker 2>but in turn, you've gained a brother, which debatably is

0:48:18.560 --> 0:48:20.840
<v Speaker 2>more valuable because they'll be with you forever.

0:48:22.920 --> 0:48:26.680
<v Speaker 9>I guess you're right about that. I guess that's that

0:48:26.840 --> 0:48:30.600
<v Speaker 9>is a positive. I guess out of the situation.

0:48:34.160 --> 0:48:39.320
<v Speaker 2>Totally, totally, totally, Yep, we'll think of very much for

0:48:39.360 --> 0:48:39.920
<v Speaker 2>calling Elissae.

0:48:41.200 --> 0:48:42.719
<v Speaker 9>Oh, thank you, thank you very much.

0:48:42.800 --> 0:48:43.000
<v Speaker 1>Keke.

0:48:44.840 --> 0:48:49.919
<v Speaker 2>Those two are going to be fine. Those two are

0:48:49.960 --> 0:48:55.279
<v Speaker 2>gonna be fine. They have each other to guide them

0:48:55.320 --> 0:49:00.799
<v Speaker 2>through thick and thin. I think it's people. I'm actually

0:49:00.800 --> 0:49:07.560
<v Speaker 2>a little jealous, honestly about of how close of a

0:49:07.600 --> 0:49:11.319
<v Speaker 2>bond they have with one another. You know, I wish

0:49:11.320 --> 0:49:16.120
<v Speaker 2>I had that kind of, you know, closeness with another

0:49:16.160 --> 0:49:19.720
<v Speaker 2>human being in my life. Those two are blessed.

0:49:20.920 --> 0:49:24.960
<v Speaker 3>Stevie gags.

0:49:25.800 --> 0:49:26.400
<v Speaker 2>What's going on?

0:49:26.480 --> 0:49:26.680
<v Speaker 3>Man?

0:49:28.600 --> 0:49:35.680
<v Speaker 6>That's going how are you? I actually I hate I'm sorry.

0:49:35.800 --> 0:49:37.640
<v Speaker 6>You know, I've watched your streams so many times, and

0:49:37.719 --> 0:49:42.200
<v Speaker 6>I really hate when people ask that because I just

0:49:42.239 --> 0:49:44.440
<v Speaker 6>feel like you hate people asking you that.

0:49:45.239 --> 0:49:48.200
<v Speaker 2>Well, it's it's not. I'm not mad at the I'm

0:49:48.200 --> 0:49:51.239
<v Speaker 2>not okay, I'm not mad at the people. It's not.

0:49:51.840 --> 0:49:54.080
<v Speaker 2>It's a common thing to do. When you see somebody,

0:49:54.080 --> 0:49:56.399
<v Speaker 2>you ask them. It's an autopilot thing. I would never

0:49:56.440 --> 0:50:00.440
<v Speaker 2>be mad at somebody asking how they are. I'm not.

0:50:00.640 --> 0:50:02.399
<v Speaker 2>I don't think i'm mad at it. I think i'm

0:50:02.480 --> 0:50:09.120
<v Speaker 2>mad that it exists as a form of social programming.

0:50:09.520 --> 0:50:11.880
<v Speaker 2>But that fact that it exists as a form of

0:50:11.880 --> 0:50:15.920
<v Speaker 2>social programming is nobody's fault in particular. It's just a

0:50:17.040 --> 0:50:19.640
<v Speaker 2>natural occurrence. So I'm not mad at you or anyone else.

0:50:19.960 --> 0:50:21.160
<v Speaker 4>No, I get that.

0:50:21.239 --> 0:50:23.239
<v Speaker 6>It's the same thing that I get whenever I go

0:50:23.400 --> 0:50:25.920
<v Speaker 6>to the checkout line at the grocery store and they

0:50:25.960 --> 0:50:28.279
<v Speaker 6>feel like, how are you? You find everything okay? And

0:50:28.280 --> 0:50:30.880
<v Speaker 6>I'm always like, oh, you know, I just feel like

0:50:30.880 --> 0:50:33.800
<v Speaker 6>it's a you know, I just yeah, you know what

0:50:33.880 --> 0:50:34.160
<v Speaker 6>I mean.

0:50:35.160 --> 0:50:38.600
<v Speaker 2>So, uh, Stevie, how's it going?

0:50:39.200 --> 0:50:41.560
<v Speaker 3>How are you good man?

0:50:41.800 --> 0:50:45.200
<v Speaker 6>Well, you know, I got screened and I was just

0:50:45.239 --> 0:50:48.800
<v Speaker 6>trying to get some insight on a little thing where

0:50:49.960 --> 0:50:55.239
<v Speaker 6>kind of in the middle of a breakup and kind

0:50:55.239 --> 0:50:58.600
<v Speaker 6>of sprung upon me and I didn't really you know,

0:50:58.680 --> 0:51:03.200
<v Speaker 6>my credit shit, and you know, I started going on

0:51:03.280 --> 0:51:10.200
<v Speaker 6>Craigslist looking for potential roommates, and everything just depressed me.

0:51:10.480 --> 0:51:15.160
<v Speaker 6>So I just I, you know, I started thinking more

0:51:15.200 --> 0:51:19.000
<v Speaker 6>about the alternative, which is to become a homeless nomad.

0:51:20.880 --> 0:51:27.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it says here that you're contemplating becoming homeless.

0:51:25.600 --> 0:51:28.880
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, voluntarily. It sounds way more exciting to me than

0:51:30.160 --> 0:51:32.600
<v Speaker 6>than anything else. Mm hmm.

0:51:33.280 --> 0:51:35.520
<v Speaker 2>So okay, tell me, tell me what about it feels

0:51:35.520 --> 0:51:36.200
<v Speaker 2>exciting to you.

0:51:37.600 --> 0:51:40.600
<v Speaker 6>Well, yeah, I have I have a pretty good job.

0:51:40.719 --> 0:51:42.359
<v Speaker 3>I make really good money.

0:51:42.160 --> 0:51:47.839
<v Speaker 6>And I'm trying to get away from that. And I

0:51:47.920 --> 0:51:50.480
<v Speaker 6>just think that the you know, I don't have the

0:51:50.520 --> 0:51:51.000
<v Speaker 6>money too.

0:51:51.960 --> 0:51:53.000
<v Speaker 2>I want to have.

0:51:54.719 --> 0:51:57.279
<v Speaker 6>I want to have more financial freedoms and stuff. But

0:51:57.320 --> 0:52:00.000
<v Speaker 6>I just feel like renting is kind of a scae

0:52:00.040 --> 0:52:05.680
<v Speaker 6>am and I just would rather not partake in that,

0:52:05.719 --> 0:52:09.279
<v Speaker 6>and I'd rather travel and become my own, you know,

0:52:10.440 --> 0:52:13.279
<v Speaker 6>my own person. Really, you know, it could just the

0:52:13.440 --> 0:52:16.160
<v Speaker 6>rent and everything like having a roommate, having to trust

0:52:16.239 --> 0:52:20.759
<v Speaker 6>someone that you don't really know, particularly, I don't really

0:52:20.920 --> 0:52:21.640
<v Speaker 6>know what else to do.

0:52:21.719 --> 0:52:28.319
<v Speaker 2>So so all right, So you have a job, and

0:52:28.400 --> 0:52:30.719
<v Speaker 2>I assume this is like one of those work from

0:52:30.719 --> 0:52:34.239
<v Speaker 2>home gigs that you can you're living the laptop lifestyle.

0:52:34.320 --> 0:52:36.640
<v Speaker 3>Is that when I'm hearing no, no, not at all.

0:52:36.800 --> 0:52:42.560
<v Speaker 6>I'm actually a freelance painter. I do interior homes.

0:52:42.560 --> 0:52:46.960
<v Speaker 2>Interesting, Okay, so are you planning on quitting your job

0:52:47.200 --> 0:52:50.600
<v Speaker 2>or are you going to keep your job but just

0:52:51.120 --> 0:52:52.919
<v Speaker 2>not have a place to live.

0:52:54.080 --> 0:52:56.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I'm going to keep the job I work with.

0:52:56.719 --> 0:53:00.759
<v Speaker 6>I started at my own business, and yeah, I was

0:53:00.840 --> 0:53:05.080
<v Speaker 6>just like really thinking more about like taking up new

0:53:05.120 --> 0:53:09.280
<v Speaker 6>alternatives because you know, painting is really hard on the body,

0:53:09.760 --> 0:53:13.040
<v Speaker 6>and it's it's just really grueling work.

0:53:12.920 --> 0:53:14.800
<v Speaker 3>That I don't I can't do forever.

0:53:15.239 --> 0:53:17.680
<v Speaker 6>But you know, it's just like I said, that just

0:53:17.760 --> 0:53:20.759
<v Speaker 6>kind of backs up more about what I'm doing with

0:53:20.920 --> 0:53:26.040
<v Speaker 6>my time, and uh, I would rather find another avenues,

0:53:26.080 --> 0:53:28.759
<v Speaker 6>but like renting is just gonna slow it down because.

0:53:30.200 --> 0:53:33.040
<v Speaker 2>I guess I'm trying to get into the logistics of this,

0:53:33.400 --> 0:53:39.200
<v Speaker 2>because are you so your freelance painter? So do you

0:53:39.239 --> 0:53:42.600
<v Speaker 2>do you have to don't you have to sort of

0:53:42.760 --> 0:53:47.719
<v Speaker 2>be in one place, like do you? Are you? Is

0:53:47.719 --> 0:53:51.520
<v Speaker 2>your clientele all sort of centered around one location?

0:53:53.120 --> 0:53:57.520
<v Speaker 6>Yeah? Pretty much. Yeah, I'm out in I have a

0:53:57.520 --> 0:54:00.600
<v Speaker 6>certain town that I work around, and you know, I've

0:54:00.600 --> 0:54:04.040
<v Speaker 6>been in this one neighborhood and picking up business like crazy.

0:54:04.160 --> 0:54:08.040
<v Speaker 6>So yeah, I'm in one place and I'm currently living

0:54:08.120 --> 0:54:11.840
<v Speaker 6>in this in my in the same place as my

0:54:11.880 --> 0:54:14.560
<v Speaker 6>girlfriend as we've broken up and everything and everything is

0:54:14.600 --> 0:54:19.759
<v Speaker 6>cool there, but like you know, yeah, I do have

0:54:19.800 --> 0:54:21.040
<v Speaker 6>a place I need to be.

0:54:21.160 --> 0:54:25.200
<v Speaker 3>Every day, right, so long hours?

0:54:25.640 --> 0:54:28.840
<v Speaker 2>Right? So are you planning on shutting down your business

0:54:28.840 --> 0:54:29.480
<v Speaker 2>to go travel?

0:54:31.440 --> 0:54:31.720
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:54:31.800 --> 0:54:35.680
<v Speaker 6>Eventually once I get a new thing lined up, like

0:54:35.760 --> 0:54:38.000
<v Speaker 6>I would, I want to become kind of a digital

0:54:38.080 --> 0:54:42.279
<v Speaker 6>nomad and travel around and just experience the world and

0:54:42.920 --> 0:54:45.600
<v Speaker 6>in my own on my own terms, you know.

0:54:46.560 --> 0:54:49.319
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, yeah, man, I've always wanted to do that.

0:54:50.840 --> 0:54:55.160
<v Speaker 2>I've always wanted to travel around and as you say,

0:54:55.280 --> 0:55:02.000
<v Speaker 2>experience the world on your own terms. And it sounds like, so,

0:55:02.320 --> 0:55:07.479
<v Speaker 2>I guess the what's what's the financial situation? Oh? Here,

0:55:07.520 --> 0:55:11.040
<v Speaker 2>do we have a nest stag of someting kinds or

0:55:11.080 --> 0:55:15.880
<v Speaker 2>something that's kind of the problem.

0:55:14.560 --> 0:55:18.560
<v Speaker 6>I've always had a problem with money, Like it's always

0:55:18.640 --> 0:55:22.040
<v Speaker 6>been my thing. Like uh and that's the reason why

0:55:22.120 --> 0:55:27.280
<v Speaker 6>this relationship kind of shipped the bed and yeah, yeah,

0:55:27.320 --> 0:55:29.520
<v Speaker 6>so my girlfriend kind of had enough of it. I

0:55:29.560 --> 0:55:32.440
<v Speaker 6>didn't know what else to do, and uh, I'm just trying,

0:55:32.680 --> 0:55:35.120
<v Speaker 6>like and now it's just kind of like more of

0:55:35.160 --> 0:55:38.600
<v Speaker 6>a thing that I've had to deal with it the

0:55:38.920 --> 0:55:41.520
<v Speaker 6>you know that's been presented to me with this breakup.

0:55:41.560 --> 0:55:44.440
<v Speaker 6>You know, I think you learn everything, you learn some

0:55:44.680 --> 0:55:47.479
<v Speaker 6>out of anything. Is there's always something to be learned

0:55:47.520 --> 0:55:51.120
<v Speaker 6>from it. And uh, this was the pretty serious relationship

0:55:51.160 --> 0:55:56.040
<v Speaker 6>of three years, and uh, you know, I wanted to

0:55:56.040 --> 0:55:57.719
<v Speaker 6>spend the rest of my life with her, but like

0:55:57.800 --> 0:56:00.879
<v Speaker 6>with this whole thing finance, as I said that that's

0:56:00.920 --> 0:56:05.360
<v Speaker 6>fair and uh yeah, I'm just like all right, well,

0:56:05.480 --> 0:56:07.799
<v Speaker 6>you know, if anything to be taken from it is

0:56:07.840 --> 0:56:11.279
<v Speaker 6>that I'm going to be more financially stable. And with that,

0:56:11.400 --> 0:56:15.880
<v Speaker 6>I'm like, you know, I told everyone I tell about

0:56:15.920 --> 0:56:19.480
<v Speaker 6>being coming homeless. They kind of you know, I'm thirty

0:56:19.719 --> 0:56:23.759
<v Speaker 6>I'm thirty five right now, and they're like kind of

0:56:23.880 --> 0:56:27.560
<v Speaker 6>get a little. Nobody really supports my decision, but I'm

0:56:27.600 --> 0:56:29.319
<v Speaker 6>kind of firm on what I want to do.

0:56:30.040 --> 0:56:31.960
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So when you say you're firm what you want

0:56:31.960 --> 0:56:36.760
<v Speaker 2>to do, you're this is are are we talking about

0:56:36.800 --> 0:56:40.719
<v Speaker 2>this right now? From your headspace of look, I'm going

0:56:40.800 --> 0:56:42.960
<v Speaker 2>to do it, but we're just you know here, I'm

0:56:42.960 --> 0:56:44.719
<v Speaker 2>gonna I'm going to talk about it. Are you Are

0:56:44.760 --> 0:56:45.759
<v Speaker 2>you firm in this plan?

0:56:52.880 --> 0:56:53.080
<v Speaker 3>You know?

0:56:53.160 --> 0:56:57.360
<v Speaker 6>The other part of it is, uh is going onto

0:56:59.000 --> 0:57:01.279
<v Speaker 6>And I don't think this is a healthier thing to

0:57:01.280 --> 0:57:03.319
<v Speaker 6>be doing at the moment because I'm still kind of

0:57:03.320 --> 0:57:04.520
<v Speaker 6>processing the breakup.

0:57:04.560 --> 0:57:06.520
<v Speaker 3>But like I started.

0:57:06.560 --> 0:57:11.040
<v Speaker 6>Going back onto the internet webs of dating, and okay,

0:57:11.080 --> 0:57:13.719
<v Speaker 6>that's the only thing that decurs me from doing this,

0:57:13.840 --> 0:57:16.280
<v Speaker 6>because I've started talking to some other girls, and you know,

0:57:16.360 --> 0:57:19.800
<v Speaker 6>it's just like, hey, you know, how do you Yeah.

0:57:19.680 --> 0:57:21.920
<v Speaker 2>And then they're like, hey, can I come over tonight?

0:57:21.960 --> 0:57:23.040
<v Speaker 2>And you're like, well about that?

0:57:24.400 --> 0:57:28.920
<v Speaker 6>Yeah exactly. I mean, I know it's just silly and

0:57:28.960 --> 0:57:31.600
<v Speaker 6>it's just kind of probably a distraction more than a

0:57:31.640 --> 0:57:33.680
<v Speaker 6>really serious thing, and it's probably not cool of me

0:57:33.760 --> 0:57:36.160
<v Speaker 6>to even interact with anybody at this moment.

0:57:36.280 --> 0:57:38.640
<v Speaker 2>But well, well, well hold on, We'll hold on that.

0:57:38.760 --> 0:57:40.360
<v Speaker 2>So here's what I mean. Look, here's the thing. If

0:57:40.480 --> 0:57:46.320
<v Speaker 2>if if having a partner is important to you, Look, man,

0:57:46.520 --> 0:57:51.400
<v Speaker 2>there's all there's all kinds of people out there. I

0:57:51.440 --> 0:57:55.080
<v Speaker 2>know this might sound crazy, but I think people get

0:57:55.080 --> 0:57:58.080
<v Speaker 2>stuck in that hole like, oh, women want a guy

0:57:58.280 --> 0:58:02.000
<v Speaker 2>like this who has a house or whatever. And look,

0:58:02.040 --> 0:58:05.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure a lot do. But I'm also sure there's

0:58:05.800 --> 0:58:10.040
<v Speaker 2>probably you know, plenty of women around the country who

0:58:10.040 --> 0:58:12.640
<v Speaker 2>are also like man, I kind of also want to

0:58:12.640 --> 0:58:15.600
<v Speaker 2>be homeless, you know, and maybe you guys hook up

0:58:15.600 --> 0:58:19.240
<v Speaker 2>and you travel around together. You know, Like, there's all

0:58:19.280 --> 0:58:21.800
<v Speaker 2>sorts of people who want all sorts of things. So

0:58:21.880 --> 0:58:24.200
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't go ahead, I would I wouldn't go out

0:58:24.240 --> 0:58:29.920
<v Speaker 2>on a limb and saying that that you're closed off

0:58:30.240 --> 0:58:37.560
<v Speaker 2>to romantic engagements due to your situation. In fact, some

0:58:37.600 --> 0:58:40.920
<v Speaker 2>people might even find that attractive. As weird as that sounds.

0:58:40.960 --> 0:58:46.360
<v Speaker 2>But but but sort of what were you gonna say?

0:58:47.800 --> 0:58:50.240
<v Speaker 6>No, I was just agreeing with you pretty much.

0:58:51.040 --> 0:58:55.040
<v Speaker 2>But but forgetting about the sort of finding a girl

0:58:55.120 --> 0:58:58.680
<v Speaker 2>part of this, because I feel like that's that's sort

0:58:58.680 --> 0:59:03.760
<v Speaker 2>of as you're saying, like a distraction. What yeah, what

0:59:03.840 --> 0:59:08.400
<v Speaker 2>else is stopping you from from doing it? Have you

0:59:08.600 --> 0:59:14.520
<v Speaker 2>have you done any like worst case scenario thinking like,

0:59:14.720 --> 0:59:18.560
<v Speaker 2>is there any case scenario where you're you're gonna do

0:59:18.720 --> 0:59:21.360
<v Speaker 2>this and then four months later be like, oh, holy fuck,

0:59:21.360 --> 0:59:23.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm fucking screwed. Or is it like, like, what's what's

0:59:23.880 --> 0:59:25.439
<v Speaker 2>what's the worst case scenario here?

0:59:26.640 --> 0:59:28.800
<v Speaker 6>Well, I mean like I've I've never had a I've

0:59:28.840 --> 0:59:31.360
<v Speaker 6>never even had a passport, it would be honest.

0:59:31.680 --> 0:59:35.800
<v Speaker 3>So I mean, i've I've I've been to Canada.

0:59:36.040 --> 0:59:41.040
<v Speaker 6>So it's about the extent of it, Okay. But I

0:59:41.360 --> 0:59:44.720
<v Speaker 6>just kind I'm kind of a person that I just

0:59:44.840 --> 0:59:48.160
<v Speaker 6>like to go in deep with things and figure it

0:59:48.240 --> 0:59:53.640
<v Speaker 6>out from there. So I'm honestly confident with what I

0:59:53.680 --> 0:59:58.200
<v Speaker 6>want to experience and not really too worried about too

0:59:58.280 --> 1:00:03.600
<v Speaker 6>much of worst case scenario might get a problem overall.

1:00:03.720 --> 1:00:04.160
<v Speaker 6>I don't know.

1:00:05.200 --> 1:00:06.120
<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

1:00:06.160 --> 1:00:06.320
<v Speaker 1>Man.

1:00:06.360 --> 1:00:09.320
<v Speaker 2>Again, I'm not well, I don't know. Okay. So you

1:00:09.360 --> 1:00:13.800
<v Speaker 2>say you have a tendency to dive into things without

1:00:13.960 --> 1:00:19.560
<v Speaker 2>necessarily thinking them over, and you've been alive for thirty

1:00:19.600 --> 1:00:22.720
<v Speaker 2>five years, and I assume you've been like that for

1:00:22.840 --> 1:00:27.400
<v Speaker 2>several of those years, And how has this way of

1:00:27.520 --> 1:00:30.480
<v Speaker 2>operating served you in life thus far?

1:00:32.040 --> 1:00:36.360
<v Speaker 6>I've invested a lot of time and not much in return,

1:00:37.640 --> 1:00:42.600
<v Speaker 6>in finances and with time and energy. You know, for instance,

1:00:42.800 --> 1:00:46.919
<v Speaker 6>the house that I'm in with my ex girlfriend, I

1:00:46.960 --> 1:00:51.280
<v Speaker 6>was building a studio for music production because she also

1:00:51.320 --> 1:00:55.120
<v Speaker 6>does music production and stuff like that, and you know,

1:00:55.240 --> 1:00:57.960
<v Speaker 6>I invested mine because you know, I was considering with

1:00:58.080 --> 1:01:01.680
<v Speaker 6>her parents who owned the house. Actually they were gonna,

1:01:01.880 --> 1:01:03.800
<v Speaker 6>like we were talking about renting to own and all

1:01:03.840 --> 1:01:06.240
<v Speaker 6>that kind of stuff. And so I just kind of

1:01:06.400 --> 1:01:08.800
<v Speaker 6>counted my chickens before they hatched and started just like

1:01:08.880 --> 1:01:12.760
<v Speaker 6>tearing the room apart, rewiring, redoing all this stuff, and

1:01:12.800 --> 1:01:16.080
<v Speaker 6>then before I knew it, like things kind of ended.

1:01:16.120 --> 1:01:18.760
<v Speaker 2>So the relationship was over. And and that that whole

1:01:18.920 --> 1:01:21.280
<v Speaker 2>let's make a home studio was that a I'll dive

1:01:21.320 --> 1:01:22.880
<v Speaker 2>into it and figure it out as we go type

1:01:22.920 --> 1:01:23.200
<v Speaker 2>of thing.

1:01:24.280 --> 1:01:28.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, exactly, Oh totally. I mean even not just with the.

1:01:27.960 --> 1:01:32.120
<v Speaker 6>Idea of doing it, but just like also like doing

1:01:32.160 --> 1:01:34.160
<v Speaker 6>stuff that I had no idea how to do it,

1:01:34.200 --> 1:01:35.920
<v Speaker 6>but just figuring it out as I went along.

1:01:36.880 --> 1:01:39.560
<v Speaker 2>Okay, well, all right, you did that. It failed. But

1:01:39.720 --> 1:01:43.520
<v Speaker 2>yet here you are, do you have any deal? Are

1:01:43.520 --> 1:01:44.439
<v Speaker 2>you in debt at all?

1:01:48.440 --> 1:01:51.760
<v Speaker 6>I mean just with a little bit of taxes being

1:01:51.800 --> 1:01:54.040
<v Speaker 6>in ten ninety nine and stuff like that, but not

1:01:54.040 --> 1:01:55.160
<v Speaker 6>nothing too insane.

1:01:55.280 --> 1:01:59.320
<v Speaker 2>No, okay, you're not in any crazy debt. Sounds like

1:01:59.360 --> 1:02:00.880
<v Speaker 2>I don't know why I'm saying it. Sounds like like

1:02:00.920 --> 1:02:03.160
<v Speaker 2>this is not information I can gather but from your voice.

1:02:03.200 --> 1:02:05.440
<v Speaker 2>But it sounds like you have all your arms and legs.

1:02:06.160 --> 1:02:09.040
<v Speaker 2>Sounds like your heart's beating. Sounds like you're fucked up

1:02:09.040 --> 1:02:11.800
<v Speaker 2>and you failed, but you're not dead. You don't have

1:02:11.840 --> 1:02:15.840
<v Speaker 2>any kids, do you? No, right, you have any kids

1:02:15.920 --> 1:02:17.439
<v Speaker 2>who who rely on you?

1:02:18.760 --> 1:02:18.960
<v Speaker 6>No?

1:02:19.680 --> 1:02:22.920
<v Speaker 2>I mean I mean, what's uh No, Pat's great. I

1:02:22.960 --> 1:02:25.160
<v Speaker 2>mean I mean, what's it? What's it's? What's at stake

1:02:25.200 --> 1:02:26.400
<v Speaker 2>here for you?

1:02:26.760 --> 1:02:31.520
<v Speaker 6>I mean, just just my dignity from what my family

1:02:31.560 --> 1:02:33.920
<v Speaker 6>and my friends see, because you know, they're you know,

1:02:34.000 --> 1:02:35.360
<v Speaker 6>they reach out and be like, what are you going

1:02:35.440 --> 1:02:35.640
<v Speaker 6>to do?

1:02:35.760 --> 1:02:35.960
<v Speaker 9>You know?

1:02:36.080 --> 1:02:37.040
<v Speaker 3>And I'm just like.

1:02:39.320 --> 1:02:45.880
<v Speaker 6>Thinking just going to nomad homeless and uh and keeping

1:02:45.960 --> 1:02:48.480
<v Speaker 6>my job and not getting involved in any drugs and

1:02:48.560 --> 1:02:51.400
<v Speaker 6>not you know, keeping my head of like with the

1:02:51.560 --> 1:02:56.280
<v Speaker 6>with the clear with a clear goal and uh, you know,

1:02:57.160 --> 1:02:59.160
<v Speaker 6>doing what I want to do from this point on,

1:02:59.360 --> 1:03:02.160
<v Speaker 6>you know, without any attachments. But then there's always the.

1:03:02.200 --> 1:03:05.560
<v Speaker 3>Whole, you know, the loneliness and the you.

1:03:05.480 --> 1:03:09.400
<v Speaker 6>Know, I still have my looks and my youth for somewhat, you.

1:03:09.320 --> 1:03:10.440
<v Speaker 3>Know, like going online.

1:03:10.480 --> 1:03:13.520
<v Speaker 6>I got some girls hitting on me and I'm reaching

1:03:13.520 --> 1:03:15.440
<v Speaker 6>out to them and texting them back and forth.

1:03:15.520 --> 1:03:19.360
<v Speaker 3>But like, yeah, I'm.

1:03:19.000 --> 1:03:22.040
<v Speaker 6>More into you know, the balance between trying to figure

1:03:22.040 --> 1:03:26.480
<v Speaker 6>out if the relationship versus the freedom to doing what

1:03:26.560 --> 1:03:28.480
<v Speaker 6>I want to do, like has always been kind of

1:03:28.480 --> 1:03:29.240
<v Speaker 6>a struggle for me.

1:03:29.880 --> 1:03:32.280
<v Speaker 2>Well, you've been in a relationship for about three years,

1:03:32.840 --> 1:03:37.400
<v Speaker 2>so I don't know if I don't know if if

1:03:38.720 --> 1:03:40.439
<v Speaker 2>your whole thing is going to want to be let's

1:03:40.520 --> 1:03:42.840
<v Speaker 2>jump back into another one unless if you find it

1:03:43.000 --> 1:03:50.000
<v Speaker 2>right person. Yeah, but if if this is the song

1:03:50.200 --> 1:03:55.080
<v Speaker 2>your heart is singing and all that hippie ship, and.

1:03:55.240 --> 1:03:58.560
<v Speaker 6>I feel like taking a hippie shit like the lay lines.

1:03:58.600 --> 1:04:00.160
<v Speaker 6>I don't know if you've ever looked into that, but

1:04:00.200 --> 1:04:05.240
<v Speaker 6>like I felt that Colorado has only offers a lot

1:04:05.280 --> 1:04:08.320
<v Speaker 6>of work and not enough play, and I think that

1:04:08.360 --> 1:04:11.520
<v Speaker 6>there's other places that will offer some more like great

1:04:11.600 --> 1:04:12.440
<v Speaker 6>things for me.

1:04:13.320 --> 1:04:17.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, dude, I mean I'm bringing I'm making this about

1:04:17.680 --> 1:04:20.240
<v Speaker 2>me right now. But I always think like if I

1:04:20.320 --> 1:04:21.960
<v Speaker 2>you know, I got to be in this studio to

1:04:22.040 --> 1:04:24.760
<v Speaker 2>do this podcast, and that's my gig right now. But

1:04:24.800 --> 1:04:30.240
<v Speaker 2>I've always thought like, if I didn't have any like,

1:04:31.440 --> 1:04:33.480
<v Speaker 2>any like I need to be at this place at

1:04:33.520 --> 1:04:36.240
<v Speaker 2>this time type of type of thing, I'd probably do

1:04:36.320 --> 1:04:39.600
<v Speaker 2>something similar. Man, I'd go to wherever they are. I

1:04:39.640 --> 1:04:43.680
<v Speaker 2>would look up, you know, going Colorado Craigslist and be like, Hey,

1:04:43.760 --> 1:04:45.800
<v Speaker 2>does anyone need me to dig a hole in the

1:04:45.880 --> 1:04:49.840
<v Speaker 2>dirt for for a day for enough money to get

1:04:49.840 --> 1:04:53.640
<v Speaker 2>me to the next day. I mean, I mean, fuck it.

1:04:53.640 --> 1:04:55.720
<v Speaker 2>It sounds like you don't have a lot to lose,

1:04:55.880 --> 1:04:59.120
<v Speaker 2>which in some cases, yes, is extremely lonely, but another

1:04:59.160 --> 1:05:01.760
<v Speaker 2>case is extremely freedom and freeing.

1:05:01.800 --> 1:05:04.600
<v Speaker 3>And yeah, you know, yeah.

1:05:04.200 --> 1:05:08.959
<v Speaker 2>I I'm hesitating to tell you to do anything either way,

1:05:09.000 --> 1:05:12.280
<v Speaker 2>but I I I think if it's if it's what

1:05:12.320 --> 1:05:14.240
<v Speaker 2>you want to do and you've thought it out to

1:05:14.280 --> 1:05:16.760
<v Speaker 2>the point where you're like, well I can give this

1:05:16.840 --> 1:05:22.800
<v Speaker 2>a shot and I won't die right then, then then

1:05:23.120 --> 1:05:23.640
<v Speaker 2>go for it.

1:05:23.760 --> 1:05:26.400
<v Speaker 6>I think what happened. I think the clear is pretty

1:05:26.840 --> 1:05:30.960
<v Speaker 6>the path is pretty clear. But you know, I just

1:05:31.720 --> 1:05:34.720
<v Speaker 6>I really do put all my faith in a gecko

1:05:34.840 --> 1:05:35.480
<v Speaker 6>on the screen.

1:05:37.200 --> 1:05:43.320
<v Speaker 2>Well, uh, you know, I hope that you know that

1:05:44.480 --> 1:05:49.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm not responsible for anything happens to you, if you

1:05:49.640 --> 1:05:51.560
<v Speaker 2>take anything from this.

1:05:51.560 --> 1:05:54.160
<v Speaker 6>Call before we go, I was just one thing I've

1:05:54.160 --> 1:05:57.640
<v Speaker 6>always wanted to know because I've heard you brought it

1:05:57.720 --> 1:06:00.480
<v Speaker 6>up a couple of a few times about the makeup

1:06:00.560 --> 1:06:04.600
<v Speaker 6>that you wear. Yeah, And I was wondering if you

1:06:04.600 --> 1:06:08.240
<v Speaker 6>thought of any alternatives, like with technology, like you know.

1:06:08.720 --> 1:06:12.960
<v Speaker 2>Like yeah, people have always yeah, people have always told

1:06:12.960 --> 1:06:15.240
<v Speaker 2>me I should do some CGI thing, But I feel

1:06:15.240 --> 1:06:17.320
<v Speaker 2>like that would be cheating. I feel like I need

1:06:17.360 --> 1:06:22.840
<v Speaker 2>to do the paint every or else it's not. But

1:06:23.000 --> 1:06:26.480
<v Speaker 2>you know, man, all look all kidding aside, I genuinely

1:06:26.480 --> 1:06:28.680
<v Speaker 2>do wish you uh good luck and whatever it is

1:06:28.680 --> 1:06:31.360
<v Speaker 2>that you choose to do. And I'm inspired. I'm inspired

1:06:31.400 --> 1:06:33.600
<v Speaker 2>by you as well because I you know, I met

1:06:33.600 --> 1:06:38.440
<v Speaker 2>what I said. I I also uh dream all the

1:06:38.480 --> 1:06:42.240
<v Speaker 2>time of leaving behind all of my obligations to go

1:06:42.400 --> 1:06:46.440
<v Speaker 2>travel and live the digital life. And if the only

1:06:46.600 --> 1:06:48.960
<v Speaker 2>thing holding you back, if truly, I mean, if you've

1:06:49.000 --> 1:06:51.360
<v Speaker 2>truly thought about this in an objective way and the

1:06:51.400 --> 1:06:54.439
<v Speaker 2>only thing holding you back is, as you say, your

1:06:54.520 --> 1:06:57.760
<v Speaker 2>dignity and like what other people will think of you,

1:06:58.160 --> 1:07:00.680
<v Speaker 2>I don't think that's worth a whole lot in terms of.

1:07:00.720 --> 1:07:04.160
<v Speaker 3>I don't think you there, so yeah, so you.

1:07:04.120 --> 1:07:06.480
<v Speaker 2>Know, go with whatever you think is best if you

1:07:06.520 --> 1:07:09.480
<v Speaker 2>if you can remove that from the equation the your

1:07:09.520 --> 1:07:11.120
<v Speaker 2>your dignity and what other people think of you.

1:07:13.800 --> 1:07:15.640
<v Speaker 3>Thanks le sure man.

1:07:15.720 --> 1:07:17.640
<v Speaker 6>I really enjoyed this conversation a lot.

1:07:18.640 --> 1:07:21.840
<v Speaker 2>I enjoyed it as well. Call us back, call us

1:07:21.880 --> 1:07:24.880
<v Speaker 2>back in six months. Let us know where you are.

1:07:25.640 --> 1:07:27.840
<v Speaker 2>Maybe you'll be in China or something that'd be cool.

1:07:28.680 --> 1:07:29.160
<v Speaker 2>Send us a.

1:07:30.720 --> 1:07:31.240
<v Speaker 3>Thailand.

1:07:32.160 --> 1:07:34.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, dude, dude, all right, this is the last thing'm

1:07:34.800 --> 1:07:38.320
<v Speaker 2>gonna say. I'm gona hang up, But I seriously in

1:07:38.360 --> 1:07:40.360
<v Speaker 2>those I have moments of my life all the time

1:07:40.400 --> 1:07:43.680
<v Speaker 2>where I imagine myself dropping everything and moving to a

1:07:43.720 --> 1:07:47.000
<v Speaker 2>foreign country. And when that happens, I go to Airbnb

1:07:47.800 --> 1:07:50.600
<v Speaker 2>and I search up. I go to Thailand or Vietnam

1:07:50.680 --> 1:07:52.960
<v Speaker 2>or some shit, and I see these like apartments you

1:07:53.080 --> 1:07:56.640
<v Speaker 2>can live in in Thailand for like like three hundred

1:07:56.680 --> 1:07:58.800
<v Speaker 2>dollars a month or something that are super nice.

1:08:00.240 --> 1:08:04.040
<v Speaker 6>Much while I'm thinking it's beautiful, it's cheap, it's it's.

1:08:03.920 --> 1:08:06.280
<v Speaker 3>Everything that I want. Yeah, and my lay lines.

1:08:06.280 --> 1:08:09.200
<v Speaker 6>I was mentioning that my lay lines go there, and

1:08:09.240 --> 1:08:12.520
<v Speaker 6>it's just like everything that says go there, versus here

1:08:12.760 --> 1:08:17.200
<v Speaker 6>just says work, work, work, Yeah.

1:08:16.040 --> 1:08:19.240
<v Speaker 2>Ah, go to Thailand. Go to Thailand. See if you

1:08:19.280 --> 1:08:22.200
<v Speaker 2>can get a job digging a hole or whatever. It

1:08:22.320 --> 1:08:24.080
<v Speaker 2>is enough to pay the rent for your two hundred

1:08:24.120 --> 1:08:27.040
<v Speaker 2>dollars a month apartment and heal the sun on your

1:08:27.080 --> 1:08:30.280
<v Speaker 2>skin and breathe the air and see what you can

1:08:30.320 --> 1:08:34.840
<v Speaker 2>make out of that. Hell yeah, beautiful. Talk to you soon, Steve.

1:08:35.960 --> 1:08:36.280
<v Speaker 3>Bye.

1:08:43.760 --> 1:08:47.599
<v Speaker 2>See. I don't I don't know. This is why again.

1:08:47.720 --> 1:08:52.200
<v Speaker 2>I I'm I'm the king of having an advice podcast

1:08:52.240 --> 1:08:57.040
<v Speaker 2>where I disclaimed that I don't give advice, but uh, man,

1:08:57.080 --> 1:08:59.800
<v Speaker 2>I really felt that, guy, man, I I mean it.

1:08:59.840 --> 1:09:01.479
<v Speaker 2>I I think all the time about that kind of shit,

1:09:02.439 --> 1:09:08.040
<v Speaker 2>like just being a nomad, right, because you only, like,

1:09:08.560 --> 1:09:13.560
<v Speaker 2>if we want to get into our sort of ethereal headspace.

1:09:14.040 --> 1:09:20.400
<v Speaker 2>You really do only live one life. And I don't

1:09:20.400 --> 1:09:22.080
<v Speaker 2>know about you, guys, but I want to try to

1:09:22.160 --> 1:09:25.479
<v Speaker 2>see as many things as I can see before I die.

1:09:27.360 --> 1:09:28.920
<v Speaker 2>And I mean that's a luxury. Not a lot of

1:09:28.920 --> 1:09:30.680
<v Speaker 2>people get to do that. A lot of people, you know,

1:09:31.360 --> 1:09:34.360
<v Speaker 2>are sort of bound to staying in one place at

1:09:34.360 --> 1:09:36.200
<v Speaker 2>one time. But I don't know, we have so many

1:09:36.200 --> 1:09:39.599
<v Speaker 2>opportunities thanks to the Internet. There's couch surfing, there's we work,

1:09:39.720 --> 1:09:42.679
<v Speaker 2>there's not not we work. What's what's the fucking work away?

1:09:42.760 --> 1:09:47.479
<v Speaker 2>There's work away. There's Craigslist where you really can just

1:09:47.560 --> 1:09:51.160
<v Speaker 2>like go to a place, go on the internet, find

1:09:51.160 --> 1:09:55.720
<v Speaker 2>a gig, find a fucking place to live, and then

1:09:55.920 --> 1:10:02.519
<v Speaker 2>just walk around. I really would like to believe that

1:10:03.160 --> 1:10:07.280
<v Speaker 2>unless if you go to jail for a long time,

1:10:07.920 --> 1:10:10.479
<v Speaker 2>or get somebody pregnant and have a child, or get

1:10:10.479 --> 1:10:13.880
<v Speaker 2>pregnant yourself and have a child, you can kind of

1:10:13.920 --> 1:10:18.000
<v Speaker 2>do whatever, and all you gotta do is not die.

1:10:18.840 --> 1:10:22.080
<v Speaker 2>At the end of the day, if Steve can accomplish

1:10:22.080 --> 1:10:26.840
<v Speaker 2>his goals and not have a child, not go to jail,

1:10:26.920 --> 1:10:31.880
<v Speaker 2>and not die, he'll be fine. He mentioned. The only

1:10:31.920 --> 1:10:34.639
<v Speaker 2>thing that was fucking with him was the what people

1:10:34.680 --> 1:10:39.360
<v Speaker 2>thought of him. But now that's a fake thing. Dying,

1:10:41.000 --> 1:10:45.320
<v Speaker 2>having a child, going to jail all very real things.

1:10:46.040 --> 1:10:47.920
<v Speaker 2>But what your parents think of you and what your

1:10:47.920 --> 1:10:50.760
<v Speaker 2>friends think of you, I would I would say as

1:10:50.800 --> 1:11:00.599
<v Speaker 2>not Hello, Hi, Hey is this Millie?

1:11:00.840 --> 1:11:01.559
<v Speaker 7>It is Millie?

1:11:02.560 --> 1:11:06.559
<v Speaker 2>Millie? How is life? What is life like?

1:11:06.600 --> 1:11:09.719
<v Speaker 7>For life? Life is shit for Millie.

1:11:09.880 --> 1:11:12.040
<v Speaker 1>But we're not going to talk about that. Today we're

1:11:12.080 --> 1:11:13.400
<v Speaker 1>talking about something else.

1:11:13.840 --> 1:11:15.599
<v Speaker 2>Okay, beautiful, what are we talking about?

1:11:16.760 --> 1:11:16.840
<v Speaker 3>So?

1:11:17.320 --> 1:11:20.280
<v Speaker 7>I haven't set foot in a Taco Bell in over

1:11:20.400 --> 1:11:25.320
<v Speaker 7>ten years, and I really want, I really want to

1:11:25.320 --> 1:11:31.920
<v Speaker 7>eat taco bell again. So as a kid, I used

1:11:31.920 --> 1:11:35.760
<v Speaker 7>to frequent Taco Bell a lot. But I just I

1:11:35.800 --> 1:11:39.720
<v Speaker 7>guess this is just one of those days where we

1:11:39.760 --> 1:11:42.439
<v Speaker 7>went in, we ordered, we ate, and then I came

1:11:42.560 --> 1:11:47.200
<v Speaker 7>home and everything was going fine. I was like playing

1:11:47.200 --> 1:11:49.400
<v Speaker 7>on the couch with my brother and my sister and

1:11:49.479 --> 1:11:58.320
<v Speaker 7>I just projectile vomited all over over my sister. And

1:11:59.520 --> 1:12:02.320
<v Speaker 7>ever since that happened to me at the age of eleven,

1:12:03.840 --> 1:12:07.360
<v Speaker 7>I've been definitely afraid of eating taco Bell.

1:12:09.040 --> 1:12:11.639
<v Speaker 2>Because you're afraid that you will once again projectile vomit

1:12:11.720 --> 1:12:21.599
<v Speaker 2>upon someone. Yes, yes, So why do you crave taco

1:12:21.680 --> 1:12:24.360
<v Speaker 2>Bell if you believe it will make you projectile vomit?

1:12:25.800 --> 1:12:28.960
<v Speaker 7>Well, I've just been seeing these ads for Taco Bell,

1:12:29.200 --> 1:12:31.759
<v Speaker 7>Like people talk about the Box, I haven't.

1:12:31.520 --> 1:12:32.640
<v Speaker 2>Seen these ads for Taco Bell.

1:12:32.640 --> 1:12:38.800
<v Speaker 7>They're amazing, and the the Darrito Local Taco and some

1:12:38.960 --> 1:12:43.360
<v Speaker 7>Crispy Chicken Tender taco recently, and I just like I've

1:12:43.360 --> 1:12:46.959
<v Speaker 7>missed out on the case so Rito the NATO Prize.

1:12:47.600 --> 1:12:54.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well okay, well Millie, well Millie, Millie, Millie, I mean,

1:12:55.360 --> 1:13:01.320
<v Speaker 2>what's stopping you from okay? So your oh okay, First

1:13:01.360 --> 1:13:04.920
<v Speaker 2>of all, First of all, before we get deeper into

1:13:04.960 --> 1:13:08.080
<v Speaker 2>this conversation, is this real? Is this serious thing?

1:13:08.520 --> 1:13:09.439
<v Speaker 1>This is real?

1:13:10.160 --> 1:13:13.960
<v Speaker 7>I can't do it, Like I can't even go in

1:13:14.240 --> 1:13:18.080
<v Speaker 7>like a Taco Bell drive through without wanting to vomit.

1:13:18.280 --> 1:13:19.280
<v Speaker 7>Like I can't do it.

1:13:19.800 --> 1:13:23.280
<v Speaker 2>Why don't you have somebody else bring you the food

1:13:23.920 --> 1:13:24.519
<v Speaker 2>or order it?

1:13:25.040 --> 1:13:28.200
<v Speaker 7>I can't, Like I can't even smell it, like just

1:13:28.760 --> 1:13:32.400
<v Speaker 7>It's just I can't do it. And I see people

1:13:32.439 --> 1:13:35.040
<v Speaker 7>eat it like I can, like online like the milk Bong,

1:13:35.400 --> 1:13:38.840
<v Speaker 7>like on YouTube, I will I see people who eat

1:13:39.000 --> 1:13:39.800
<v Speaker 7>Taco Bell and.

1:13:39.840 --> 1:13:43.360
<v Speaker 2>Like, so okay, so all right, so you can watch

1:13:43.439 --> 1:13:46.080
<v Speaker 2>people eat it both in real life. Can you if

1:13:46.400 --> 1:13:48.479
<v Speaker 2>somebody is next to you eating it, will that gross

1:13:48.520 --> 1:13:48.800
<v Speaker 2>you out?

1:13:49.880 --> 1:13:50.080
<v Speaker 7>Yeah?

1:13:51.920 --> 1:13:55.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So I don't know what I'm having trouble understanding

1:13:56.000 --> 1:14:00.439
<v Speaker 2>your Like this is one of the most contrad victory

1:14:00.520 --> 1:14:07.400
<v Speaker 2>things I think I've ever heard, uh that you're insanely

1:14:07.680 --> 1:14:11.880
<v Speaker 2>grossed out by Taco Bell if you smell it you

1:14:11.920 --> 1:14:14.840
<v Speaker 2>want to throw up. If someone's near you, you're grossed out,

1:14:15.400 --> 1:14:18.400
<v Speaker 2>But as much as you are grossed out by it,

1:14:19.479 --> 1:14:22.800
<v Speaker 2>you decire to eat it. That doesn't make any sense

1:14:22.840 --> 1:14:23.040
<v Speaker 2>to me.

1:14:24.160 --> 1:14:27.160
<v Speaker 7>No, I know, but I just I have to eat it.

1:14:27.160 --> 1:14:30.120
<v Speaker 7>It's like I have to, but I physically can't. And

1:14:30.200 --> 1:14:33.400
<v Speaker 7>I've tried. I've tried, like just walking into a Taco

1:14:33.439 --> 1:14:37.559
<v Speaker 7>Bell and I walk right back out. It's like I

1:14:37.560 --> 1:14:38.360
<v Speaker 7>can't even get a truth.

1:14:38.400 --> 1:14:39.880
<v Speaker 2>Really, I'm gonna tell you the truth. I'm gonna tell

1:14:39.880 --> 1:14:41.360
<v Speaker 2>you the truth. I'm gonna tell you the truth because

1:14:41.360 --> 1:14:43.679
<v Speaker 2>I've eaten. I've eaten a lot of Taco Bell and

1:14:44.000 --> 1:14:47.240
<v Speaker 2>I don't here's the thing, and I'm gonna be honest

1:14:47.280 --> 1:14:51.000
<v Speaker 2>with you. Okay, I've eaten a lot of Taco Bell,

1:14:51.920 --> 1:14:58.080
<v Speaker 2>and I don't regret a single trip I have ever

1:14:58.200 --> 1:15:00.320
<v Speaker 2>taken to a Taco Bell. When I I am on

1:15:00.439 --> 1:15:03.519
<v Speaker 2>my deathbed and my life flashes before my eyes and

1:15:03.600 --> 1:15:06.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm watching a reel of probably a lot of stuff

1:15:06.920 --> 1:15:10.559
<v Speaker 2>that I won't be proud of. But when the parts

1:15:10.600 --> 1:15:12.439
<v Speaker 2>of my life in which I'm sitting at a Taco

1:15:12.439 --> 1:15:16.240
<v Speaker 2>belt drive through passed by that reel, okay, I will

1:15:16.280 --> 1:15:22.640
<v Speaker 2>I will smile. I will be happy. But Millie, yeah,

1:15:23.120 --> 1:15:30.000
<v Speaker 2>you can live life without it. In fact, I feel

1:15:30.040 --> 1:15:32.320
<v Speaker 2>like there's a chance for your life to be better

1:15:33.200 --> 1:15:36.439
<v Speaker 2>with the absence of Taco Bell, and I think you

1:15:36.560 --> 1:15:42.439
<v Speaker 2>gotta embrace that, Millie. Okay, but Millie, you can't focus

1:15:42.560 --> 1:15:46.080
<v Speaker 2>on what you've missed out on. Okay, There's plenty of

1:15:46.120 --> 1:15:49.559
<v Speaker 2>other good food options out there. There's Dell Taco, There's

1:15:49.680 --> 1:15:53.640
<v Speaker 2>there's non taco related fast food to whatever, Chick fil a,

1:15:53.760 --> 1:15:56.920
<v Speaker 2>Jack in the box, yeah, Sonic, there's all sorts of

1:15:57.160 --> 1:16:03.160
<v Speaker 2>there's there's there's a whole world of cuisine out there, Millie,

1:16:03.800 --> 1:16:07.519
<v Speaker 2>outside of just Taco Bell. And the more time you

1:16:07.560 --> 1:16:11.720
<v Speaker 2>spend fixating on what you cannot have, the more you

1:16:11.760 --> 1:16:14.559
<v Speaker 2>will be obsessed with it, the more it will ruin you.

1:16:15.400 --> 1:16:19.559
<v Speaker 2>So so I encourage you to widen your field of

1:16:19.680 --> 1:16:28.080
<v Speaker 2>vision and and embrace the other options that are in

1:16:28.120 --> 1:16:32.360
<v Speaker 2>front of you, because if you're so narrow, so narrow,

1:16:32.800 --> 1:16:37.479
<v Speaker 2>focused on the Taco Bell, you won't see the A

1:16:37.640 --> 1:16:41.320
<v Speaker 2>and W right next to the Taco Bell, which has

1:16:41.439 --> 1:16:44.920
<v Speaker 2>delicious chicken sandwiches and milkshakes, and you can and you

1:16:44.920 --> 1:16:46.720
<v Speaker 2>can dip the chicken sandwich in the milkshake, and you

1:16:46.760 --> 1:16:51.880
<v Speaker 2>can eat that. So I encourage you not to focus

1:16:52.560 --> 1:16:56.600
<v Speaker 2>on the options unavailable to you, but instead to to

1:16:57.560 --> 1:17:03.360
<v Speaker 2>uh take take me marrymant and and experienced, wonder at

1:17:03.400 --> 1:17:04.280
<v Speaker 2>the options that are.

1:17:06.000 --> 1:17:08.640
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, but it's like, did you ever eat at a

1:17:08.680 --> 1:17:09.280
<v Speaker 7>local paco?

1:17:10.880 --> 1:17:12.840
<v Speaker 2>I have? I have eaten a taco?

1:17:13.720 --> 1:17:14.360
<v Speaker 7>Are they good?

1:17:14.600 --> 1:17:15.719
<v Speaker 3>I want phenomenal people.

1:17:18.320 --> 1:17:22.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they're great. It's mild sauce on there. It's fantastic.

1:17:22.160 --> 1:17:24.040
<v Speaker 2>It's the best thing I've ever read. But Millie, You'll

1:17:24.080 --> 1:17:24.920
<v Speaker 2>be fine without it.

1:17:26.760 --> 1:17:31.880
<v Speaker 7>I'll be okay without it. All right, thank you?

1:17:31.920 --> 1:17:35.479
<v Speaker 2>Get go, Chris.

1:17:38.200 --> 1:17:40.320
<v Speaker 4>Hello, Gek, how are you?

1:17:40.479 --> 1:17:41.200
<v Speaker 2>Chris?

1:17:43.160 --> 1:17:45.960
<v Speaker 4>I'm all right. Honestly, it's like the middle of the

1:17:45.960 --> 1:17:49.000
<v Speaker 4>semester right now, and it could be better.

1:17:49.960 --> 1:17:54.479
<v Speaker 2>It's the middle of the semester. What do you study?

1:17:55.160 --> 1:18:01.360
<v Speaker 4>Study animal science at in America? And like the pursuit

1:18:01.439 --> 1:18:02.520
<v Speaker 4>of being a veterinarian.

1:18:03.840 --> 1:18:06.720
<v Speaker 2>You're trying to be a veterinarian. You know. The veterinarian

1:18:06.800 --> 1:18:10.040
<v Speaker 2>thing is interesting to me because it's a sort of

1:18:10.080 --> 1:18:13.000
<v Speaker 2>a catch twenty two where in order to become a

1:18:13.080 --> 1:18:17.280
<v Speaker 2>veterinarian you have to like animals, but also in order

1:18:17.280 --> 1:18:20.760
<v Speaker 2>to become a veterinarian, you have to watch animals die.

1:18:22.200 --> 1:18:28.000
<v Speaker 4>Every day, Like I mean, yeah, it's like you want

1:18:28.040 --> 1:18:32.280
<v Speaker 4>to save animals and stuff, Like you can't be a

1:18:32.360 --> 1:18:36.719
<v Speaker 4>hero and I'm like a believer and leave no trace

1:18:37.000 --> 1:18:41.320
<v Speaker 4>like with boy Scouts and stuff. Sure, and like part

1:18:41.360 --> 1:18:44.120
<v Speaker 4>of that is like respecting the life cycle of the universe,

1:18:45.240 --> 1:18:48.200
<v Speaker 4>and like wherever it's time for animal to go, it's

1:18:48.240 --> 1:18:53.519
<v Speaker 4>just time for them to go, yep, And like you're

1:18:53.560 --> 1:18:58.200
<v Speaker 4>there to facilitate that. So like you can live with

1:18:58.240 --> 1:18:59.720
<v Speaker 4>the fact that the animal is dying, but you can

1:18:59.760 --> 1:19:02.559
<v Speaker 4>also to make it like comfortable on its way out.

1:19:04.120 --> 1:19:09.240
<v Speaker 2>Right. No, there's definitely a lot of pride to be

1:19:09.360 --> 1:19:13.719
<v Speaker 2>had in doing that, that job of keeping an animal

1:19:13.800 --> 1:19:16.479
<v Speaker 2>comfortable as it's as it's passing.

1:19:18.960 --> 1:19:23.040
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it's like a respecting the way the life cycle.

1:19:23.840 --> 1:19:27.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this is interesting. So sorry, So you seem to

1:19:27.800 --> 1:19:37.400
<v Speaker 2>have a very objective, relaxed take on death in general, right,

1:19:37.600 --> 1:19:43.639
<v Speaker 2>leave no trace, So to leave no trace includes dying,

1:19:44.280 --> 1:19:47.920
<v Speaker 2>Like you have to die as a necessary element of

1:19:48.640 --> 1:19:53.160
<v Speaker 2>leaving no trace, because living living forever is kind of

1:19:53.200 --> 1:19:55.480
<v Speaker 2>like littering with yourself.

1:19:57.200 --> 1:20:03.240
<v Speaker 4>Mhm. Yeah, like leaving your mark on the world in

1:20:03.280 --> 1:20:06.400
<v Speaker 4>a way, like because you're just like a you're like

1:20:06.400 --> 1:20:08.240
<v Speaker 4>a six hundred year old tree.

1:20:08.520 --> 1:20:09.200
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you're there.

1:20:11.160 --> 1:20:18.439
<v Speaker 2>So how so how is how is this perspective that

1:20:18.520 --> 1:20:22.040
<v Speaker 2>you have on animals and how death is just factoring

1:20:22.080 --> 1:20:26.479
<v Speaker 2>into great cycle and you know all that jizz? How

1:20:26.520 --> 1:20:29.400
<v Speaker 2>has that impacted your thoughts on your own.

1:20:29.200 --> 1:20:34.040
<v Speaker 4>Death, on my own death? The way I see it

1:20:34.080 --> 1:20:36.320
<v Speaker 4>is like I try to keep a lot of things

1:20:36.720 --> 1:20:40.880
<v Speaker 4>in terms of like valuable things, like if I lose something,

1:20:41.120 --> 1:20:45.160
<v Speaker 4>I lose it. But I don't try to hoard things.

1:20:45.320 --> 1:20:50.479
<v Speaker 4>I feel like hoarding the something that like every religion

1:20:50.560 --> 1:20:53.800
<v Speaker 4>kind of taboos like that big thing is like the

1:20:53.880 --> 1:20:58.439
<v Speaker 4>seventh or whatever sense with greed, like hoarding things. This

1:20:58.520 --> 1:21:02.560
<v Speaker 4>isn't right. So like kind of just like having a

1:21:03.040 --> 1:21:06.400
<v Speaker 4>detachment of like it's just an item. It is what

1:21:06.439 --> 1:21:09.000
<v Speaker 4>it is, and like you're gonna die one day and

1:21:09.040 --> 1:21:11.920
<v Speaker 4>you're not gonna have it you that's something to take

1:21:11.960 --> 1:21:13.800
<v Speaker 4>away from all of those things.

1:21:14.920 --> 1:21:19.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Yeah, it's sort of stomic philosophy having very little

1:21:19.960 --> 1:21:26.200
<v Speaker 2>attachments to possessions or really anything outside of yourself or

1:21:26.240 --> 1:21:31.520
<v Speaker 2>even yourself, because you know your friends, your family, your possessions,

1:21:31.640 --> 1:21:35.519
<v Speaker 2>your statuses, No, none of that's coming with you where

1:21:35.520 --> 1:21:36.080
<v Speaker 2>you're going.

1:21:37.600 --> 1:21:40.800
<v Speaker 4>For real, but like you can't always plan on where

1:21:40.800 --> 1:21:43.400
<v Speaker 4>you're going, and I think that's something to like push for,

1:21:43.600 --> 1:21:47.040
<v Speaker 4>like having bucket list goals. Like right now, I'm checking

1:21:47.080 --> 1:21:51.519
<v Speaker 4>off a bucket list talking to this gecko. This is cool.

1:21:53.320 --> 1:21:55.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's cool talking to you too, Chris. I like

1:21:55.200 --> 1:21:58.559
<v Speaker 2>your uh, I like your voice. You're very dreaming.

1:22:00.200 --> 1:22:02.840
<v Speaker 4>I'm dreamy. I've had a long day. I've been up

1:22:02.880 --> 1:22:04.080
<v Speaker 4>to like six o'clock.

1:22:04.720 --> 1:22:07.799
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, whatever, your tired voices is very dreamy.

1:22:09.720 --> 1:22:13.679
<v Speaker 4>Oh, thank you. I don't know. I'm also I'm kind

1:22:13.680 --> 1:22:17.519
<v Speaker 4>of cold right now. It's like twenty degrees outside in

1:22:17.600 --> 1:22:20.240
<v Speaker 4>my apartment complex. Isn't very well insulated.

1:22:20.800 --> 1:22:23.120
<v Speaker 2>Well that's your By the way, take note of this

1:22:23.160 --> 1:22:25.240
<v Speaker 2>because these are your variables. Next time you're about to

1:22:25.240 --> 1:22:27.479
<v Speaker 2>go on a date, make sure you're very tired and

1:22:27.640 --> 1:22:31.800
<v Speaker 2>very cold. And uh they'll they'll find that very attractive.

1:22:33.040 --> 1:22:36.080
<v Speaker 2>Uh So, oh crap, you were saying something that I

1:22:36.120 --> 1:22:40.080
<v Speaker 2>interrupted you with you just all that stuff. What the

1:22:40.080 --> 1:22:47.679
<v Speaker 2>fuck were you saying about death? I just your bucket list. Okay,

1:22:47.680 --> 1:22:50.000
<v Speaker 2>your bucket list, Your bucket list, all right, So talking

1:22:50.000 --> 1:22:52.160
<v Speaker 2>to me is on your bucket list. Check what else?

1:22:52.200 --> 1:22:53.280
<v Speaker 2>What else we got on there?

1:22:55.640 --> 1:22:58.880
<v Speaker 4>I don't say my buckets. I want to I want

1:22:58.880 --> 1:23:03.240
<v Speaker 4>to publish a paper and academia. That's a bucket list.

1:23:03.240 --> 1:23:06.679
<v Speaker 2>Side on, that's a good one. Kind of boring.

1:23:06.880 --> 1:23:07.439
<v Speaker 3>H but I'm a.

1:23:08.920 --> 1:23:10.160
<v Speaker 4>Sophomore in college right now.

1:23:10.360 --> 1:23:12.439
<v Speaker 2>Hm oh, I said it's kind of boring.

1:23:12.479 --> 1:23:16.400
<v Speaker 4>But to each their own, Like, I mean, I don't know.

1:23:16.439 --> 1:23:18.320
<v Speaker 4>It's just kind of something I look up to, like

1:23:19.240 --> 1:23:22.760
<v Speaker 4>to have something so well thought out and then documented

1:23:23.080 --> 1:23:26.120
<v Speaker 4>and then permanently out there, not like in the sense

1:23:26.120 --> 1:23:30.439
<v Speaker 4>of in the natural environment, but like out there for

1:23:30.840 --> 1:23:34.639
<v Speaker 4>future generations to read and like pick up on, even

1:23:34.720 --> 1:23:38.360
<v Speaker 4>if it's something like super MENI school. You know, I

1:23:38.360 --> 1:23:39.839
<v Speaker 4>don't even think I said that right.

1:23:42.200 --> 1:23:44.360
<v Speaker 2>A minute, No, no, no, I'm just I'm fucking with you.

1:23:44.400 --> 1:23:46.960
<v Speaker 2>And I said I was boring, but uh no, I

1:23:47.000 --> 1:23:47.920
<v Speaker 2>see the value in that.

1:23:48.200 --> 1:23:50.000
<v Speaker 4>I come back it up. I'll think it's boring. I

1:23:50.040 --> 1:23:50.919
<v Speaker 4>think it's cool.

1:23:50.800 --> 1:23:54.760
<v Speaker 2>Ship uh anything else? You are right, So you want

1:23:54.800 --> 1:23:57.240
<v Speaker 2>to pas you you want to publish a paper in academia.

1:23:57.280 --> 1:23:59.719
<v Speaker 2>I mean I mean that that could take a while

1:24:00.400 --> 1:24:02.840
<v Speaker 2>doing that. So that's that's a big one. You probably

1:24:02.840 --> 1:24:06.679
<v Speaker 2>got room for. You probably got room for like two

1:24:06.720 --> 1:24:08.960
<v Speaker 2>other things you can do before you die? What what? What?

1:24:08.960 --> 1:24:11.280
<v Speaker 2>What are you gonna do with those? With those two

1:24:11.320 --> 1:24:11.840
<v Speaker 2>other things?

1:24:12.000 --> 1:24:15.479
<v Speaker 4>So I like to pick up trash, like whenever I'm

1:24:15.479 --> 1:24:17.519
<v Speaker 4>walking the class and stuff. I want to pick up

1:24:17.560 --> 1:24:20.479
<v Speaker 4>somebody's like mobile order, like you know, like that you

1:24:20.479 --> 1:24:23.840
<v Speaker 4>get from Starbucks, and I want to prank call them.

1:24:27.560 --> 1:24:32.160
<v Speaker 2>You want to you basically want to like drive door dash?

1:24:32.720 --> 1:24:35.599
<v Speaker 4>No no, no no no, Like if somebody's littering, like if

1:24:35.640 --> 1:24:39.519
<v Speaker 4>they litter their like Starbucks drink and like I'm walking

1:24:39.560 --> 1:24:42.240
<v Speaker 4>the class and it's on the sidewalk, I pick it up.

1:24:42.760 --> 1:24:47.200
<v Speaker 4>I dole their phone number and I prank call them.

1:24:47.240 --> 1:24:51.120
<v Speaker 2>It's a very specific item. Do people put their phone

1:24:51.200 --> 1:24:53.920
<v Speaker 2>number on their Starbucks cups? Is that a thing?

1:24:55.640 --> 1:25:00.200
<v Speaker 4>I know? Like whenever you order door dash, like on

1:25:00.200 --> 1:25:02.599
<v Speaker 4>on the receipt, they'll have the phone number.

1:25:03.240 --> 1:25:05.559
<v Speaker 2>Oh okay, So if somebody litters a receipt, you want

1:25:05.560 --> 1:25:10.360
<v Speaker 2>to prank call them? Yeah? What what would your prank

1:25:10.400 --> 1:25:13.120
<v Speaker 2>call be? Do you have one in particular setup?

1:25:14.520 --> 1:25:17.479
<v Speaker 4>I have to think of it in the moment. I

1:25:17.520 --> 1:25:20.559
<v Speaker 4>don't want to have it like filled with rage because

1:25:20.600 --> 1:25:23.759
<v Speaker 4>like I don't like whenever people litter, but I feel

1:25:23.760 --> 1:25:28.400
<v Speaker 4>like whenever you're mad at somebody. You're just encouraging the behavior,

1:25:29.640 --> 1:25:29.800
<v Speaker 4>you know.

1:25:29.880 --> 1:25:31.960
<v Speaker 2>I agree with that you got a good head on

1:25:31.960 --> 1:25:34.040
<v Speaker 2>your shoulders. I agree with that you're not coming in

1:25:34.080 --> 1:25:38.639
<v Speaker 2>here with rage because nobody, namely one person that's ever

1:25:38.680 --> 1:25:43.280
<v Speaker 2>responded well to just getting cussed at or screamed at

1:25:43.360 --> 1:25:48.000
<v Speaker 2>or whatever. It's not a it's never a convincing way

1:25:48.040 --> 1:25:49.720
<v Speaker 2>of being.

1:25:53.800 --> 1:25:54.240
<v Speaker 4>For real.

1:25:54.400 --> 1:25:56.160
<v Speaker 2>But you do need to come up with something, because

1:25:56.160 --> 1:26:00.240
<v Speaker 2>what's gonna happen is you're gonna call this number, like

1:26:00.240 --> 1:26:01.519
<v Speaker 2>I'll just think of it in the moment, and then

1:26:01.560 --> 1:26:06.360
<v Speaker 2>they'll go hello, and you'll go uh uh, fuck you,

1:26:06.479 --> 1:26:08.240
<v Speaker 2>and then you'll hang up and you'll be like, ah,

1:26:08.280 --> 1:26:09.400
<v Speaker 2>I should have planned something.

1:26:09.760 --> 1:26:12.599
<v Speaker 4>I I think I think I would have. I think,

1:26:12.960 --> 1:26:17.360
<v Speaker 4>honestly speaking about it, I would pretend that I was

1:26:17.360 --> 1:26:18.799
<v Speaker 4>the restaurant they ordered from.

1:26:19.200 --> 1:26:20.519
<v Speaker 2>Oh okay, I like where this is going.

1:26:21.560 --> 1:26:24.160
<v Speaker 4>Like, hey, like say they ordered like a caramel frapp,

1:26:24.760 --> 1:26:28.599
<v Speaker 4>Hey that carmel s frapp you gave or we gave you. Yeah,

1:26:28.600 --> 1:26:31.280
<v Speaker 4>we actually put gorilla grew in it gorilla glue in

1:26:31.320 --> 1:26:38.240
<v Speaker 4>it instead of like or like, hey, you forgot this,

1:26:38.680 --> 1:26:41.040
<v Speaker 4>and then like make them go to the store and

1:26:41.040 --> 1:26:42.960
<v Speaker 4>then ask like a fool. That would be funny.

1:26:43.439 --> 1:26:45.679
<v Speaker 2>I like, okay, that's that's that's a pretty good one.

1:26:46.600 --> 1:26:48.920
<v Speaker 2>The gorilla Ye see the gorilla blue one. If someone

1:26:48.960 --> 1:26:51.600
<v Speaker 2>called me saying, hey, we put gorilla glue in your frappucino,

1:26:51.640 --> 1:26:57.200
<v Speaker 2>I'd be like, I don't know what this is, but saying, oh, hey,

1:26:57.840 --> 1:27:01.760
<v Speaker 2>you forgot something. That's a good one. Waste a little

1:27:01.760 --> 1:27:04.960
<v Speaker 2>bit of their time, but not a fully egregious attack.

1:27:06.320 --> 1:27:08.480
<v Speaker 4>Maybe, like I think it's a balanced.

1:27:10.200 --> 1:27:13.000
<v Speaker 2>Right, right, you've got a credit card or it can't

1:27:13.040 --> 1:27:14.720
<v Speaker 2>be there credit. It's got to be something because then

1:27:14.720 --> 1:27:17.519
<v Speaker 2>they would check and their credit cards there or I

1:27:17.560 --> 1:27:19.400
<v Speaker 2>don't know, but you're you know what you got. You

1:27:19.520 --> 1:27:20.639
<v Speaker 2>got the gist of this down.

1:27:22.600 --> 1:27:26.679
<v Speaker 4>It's kind of like guiding karma. That's like facilitating karma.

1:27:27.600 --> 1:27:30.080
<v Speaker 2>Yes, you're a carmatic enforcement.

1:27:31.760 --> 1:27:33.800
<v Speaker 4>Not to be like self righteous like that, Like I

1:27:33.800 --> 1:27:40.320
<v Speaker 4>don't know can be righteous. But I got a bucket list, dude,

1:27:42.720 --> 1:27:43.200
<v Speaker 4>what you're saying?

1:27:43.280 --> 1:27:47.639
<v Speaker 2>It was Chris, Yeah, Chris, it's been. It's been fun

1:27:47.720 --> 1:27:51.280
<v Speaker 2>ideating on your death with you and thinking of things

1:27:51.280 --> 1:27:51.840
<v Speaker 2>that you can do.

1:27:51.760 --> 1:27:52.400
<v Speaker 6>Before you die.

1:27:55.040 --> 1:27:58.639
<v Speaker 4>Honestly, I watched One Piece and like a big thing

1:27:58.720 --> 1:28:00.519
<v Speaker 4>is like with the will of d got to welcome

1:28:00.600 --> 1:28:03.360
<v Speaker 4>death with a smile. I think I had I can

1:28:03.520 --> 1:28:09.240
<v Speaker 4>do that. Yeah, but I've almost died before had I

1:28:09.240 --> 1:28:09.759
<v Speaker 4>had a bomb?

1:28:10.120 --> 1:28:12.920
<v Speaker 2>So I was doing it. Hhmm, how did you almost

1:28:13.000 --> 1:28:13.559
<v Speaker 2>die before?

1:28:15.000 --> 1:28:16.440
<v Speaker 4>You want it in fifteen seconds?

1:28:16.800 --> 1:28:19.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'd love it in fifteen seconds, all right.

1:28:19.880 --> 1:28:22.200
<v Speaker 4>So I was driving a four wheeler on a like

1:28:22.320 --> 1:28:26.360
<v Speaker 4>gravelly road and they just built some windmills and theyre

1:28:26.400 --> 1:28:28.080
<v Speaker 4>was a cliff that they built and I didn't know

1:28:28.120 --> 1:28:29.719
<v Speaker 4>the cliff was there, and I was in like forty

1:28:29.720 --> 1:28:31.479
<v Speaker 4>miles an hour and I went off the cliffs hit

1:28:31.479 --> 1:28:34.160
<v Speaker 4>a rock and I was stuck under the four wheeler

1:28:34.200 --> 1:28:34.719
<v Speaker 4>for like an hour.

1:28:38.800 --> 1:28:44.760
<v Speaker 2>See, I just call a four wheeler a car. It's

1:28:44.800 --> 1:28:47.680
<v Speaker 2>like to really use the term four wheeler.

1:28:47.680 --> 1:28:50.520
<v Speaker 4>Like, you know, like a I think like a go cart,

1:28:50.720 --> 1:28:53.160
<v Speaker 4>but bef oh.

1:28:53.080 --> 1:28:53.759
<v Speaker 2>It's an ATV.

1:28:55.479 --> 1:28:56.799
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

1:28:56.840 --> 1:28:59.640
<v Speaker 2>I like, maybe this isn't Maybe this isn't what you

1:28:59.680 --> 1:29:01.240
<v Speaker 2>wanted me to get out of that story. But I

1:29:01.280 --> 1:29:03.080
<v Speaker 2>really think that they should use a different term than

1:29:03.120 --> 1:29:09.760
<v Speaker 2>four wheeler because there are a very broad range of

1:29:10.479 --> 1:29:11.719
<v Speaker 2>vehicles that have four wheels.

1:29:11.720 --> 1:29:16.720
<v Speaker 4>Four wheel has four wheels, oh yeah, yes, or like

1:29:16.760 --> 1:29:20.080
<v Speaker 4>it feels like a go cart that has five wheels,

1:29:20.120 --> 1:29:20.880
<v Speaker 4>the steering wheel.

1:29:21.920 --> 1:29:23.840
<v Speaker 2>Okay, but my like my car, My car is a

1:29:23.840 --> 1:29:24.479
<v Speaker 2>four wheeler.

1:29:26.040 --> 1:29:28.280
<v Speaker 4>No, your cars are five. Your cars are six wheeler,

1:29:28.320 --> 1:29:30.759
<v Speaker 4>has a spear in the trunk, has a steering wheel.

1:29:32.840 --> 1:29:35.400
<v Speaker 2>You know what, I don't have a spare wheel. I

1:29:35.400 --> 1:29:36.479
<v Speaker 2>don't have a spare wheel in the trunk, but I

1:29:36.520 --> 1:29:38.000
<v Speaker 2>do have a steering wheel. So I guess you are right.

1:29:38.080 --> 1:29:39.599
<v Speaker 2>But does the four wheel that you're talking about, does

1:29:39.640 --> 1:29:40.439
<v Speaker 2>that have a steering wheel.

1:29:42.000 --> 1:29:42.919
<v Speaker 4>No, it has a handlebar.

1:29:45.640 --> 1:29:48.920
<v Speaker 2>I'll talk to you soon, Chris, take care.

1:29:48.760 --> 1:29:57.400
<v Speaker 4>Of gek say say stay Gecky.

1:29:55.439 --> 1:30:01.280
<v Speaker 2>On the line. I'm teaching you.

1:30:01.479 --> 1:30:06.160
<v Speaker 1>Tells you life, but he's not really an expert.