WEBVTT - Sydney | Betrayal Weekly 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:03.360 Hi, everyone, we have some exciting news to share. ABC 0:00:03.480 --> 0:00:06.880 News Studios has turned Caroline Borega's story from Betrayal season 0:00:06.920 --> 0:00:10.240 four into a docuseries. You'll get to meet the people involved, 0:00:10.480 --> 0:00:13.360 You'll hear from people who have never spoken before, and 0:00:13.400 --> 0:00:15.760 you get to see where this story took place. We 0:00:15.840 --> 0:00:18.279 are so proud and excited to share it with you all. 0:00:19.079 --> 0:00:22.759 Stream Betrayal Dirty Secrets now on Hulu or Hulu for 0:00:22.800 --> 0:00:24.040 Disney Plus. 0:00:26.280 --> 0:00:32.840 How in the world could someone stoop that low and 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:38.800 go to that extreme? Were you too cowardly? Just tell 0:00:38.840 --> 0:00:40.200 me the truth. 0:00:52.520 --> 0:00:55.880 I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal, a show about 0:00:55.920 --> 0:00:59.440 the people we trust the most and the deceptions that 0:00:59.600 --> 0:01:07.080 change everything. A little while ago, a woman wrote into 0:01:07.120 --> 0:01:10.400 our show to share a story of betrayal. We're gonna 0:01:10.400 --> 0:01:14.039 call her Katie. She attached a voice memo to her email. 0:01:14.680 --> 0:01:15.760 Here's that voice memo. 0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:22.280 This is the story of a woman who couldn't give 0:01:22.400 --> 0:01:23.039 up on love. 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:29.520 My mom has not been the luckiest in love. This 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:37.280 is a story about my mom. After hearing this, we 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:40.680 got on the phone with Katie and her mom, who 0:01:40.680 --> 0:01:46.880 were going to call Sydney. This is her story. Sydney 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:49.360 grew up in the Midwest with her parents and brothers. 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:52.640 From a young age. Her dad introduced the kids to 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:53.840 a life of adventure. 0:01:55.040 --> 0:01:59.040 He was a private pilot, and I would go out 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:02.320 to the airport with them and we would fly all over. 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:05.800 Sydney, her brothers, and her mom would pack into her 0:02:05.880 --> 0:02:09.480 dad's tiny airplane and hold on tight as it lifted 0:02:09.520 --> 0:02:13.119 off into the sky. Sydney loved flying. 0:02:13.800 --> 0:02:18.960 It felt like you were far above everything. You were 0:02:19.000 --> 0:02:22.040 in the sky with all the clouds, and my father 0:02:22.200 --> 0:02:25.720 was in complete control, and so the trust I had 0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:30.440 was just beyond belief. I love looking down at the 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:33.720 earth and all the glory that's down there, and you're 0:02:33.760 --> 0:02:34.440 just amazed. 0:02:35.639 --> 0:02:38.000 They were a work hard, play hard kind of family. 0:02:38.520 --> 0:02:43.160 After school and on weekends, Sydney worked at her family's restaurant. 0:02:43.240 --> 0:02:44.399 At fifty cents an hour. 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:49.600 They served hamburgers and fries. The restaurant was painted white, 0:02:49.720 --> 0:02:52.040 with barstools lined up in a neat row. 0:02:52.880 --> 0:02:55.359 You had an awning where people pulled up in their 0:02:55.400 --> 0:02:59.120 cars and then some would go out and take their order. 0:02:59.600 --> 0:03:02.320 They would fix it, and then you'd go out and 0:03:02.360 --> 0:03:07.560 put a tray on their car. 0:03:08.280 --> 0:03:13.080 It was a picturesque childhood, but after graduating high school, 0:03:13.480 --> 0:03:16.840 Sydney's young adult life was marked by a lot of hardship. 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:21.480 She married young and got pregnant with her first son, 0:03:22.280 --> 0:03:26.480 but her entrance into motherhood was immensely challenging. Her son 0:03:26.600 --> 0:03:28.760 was born with a terminal illness. 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:34.800 I lost my son when he was two, and then 0:03:35.120 --> 0:03:39.640 I had gotten pregnant again and lost a stillborn. 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:44.840 Sydney dealt with waves of overlapping grief after losing her children. 0:03:45.560 --> 0:03:49.680 It was an incredibly difficult time. In the years that followed, 0:03:49.960 --> 0:03:54.200 her marriage ended as well. When she was ready, Sydney 0:03:54.280 --> 0:03:59.560 had other relationships. She remarried and gave birth to her daughter, Katie, 0:04:00.320 --> 0:04:05.040 but that marriage also ended in divorce. After dealing with 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:10.080 all shades of heartbreak, Sydney decided to stay single. She 0:04:10.160 --> 0:04:13.440 thought maybe a true deep romance just wasn't in the 0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:17.200 cards for her, and besides, her life had plenty of 0:04:17.240 --> 0:04:19.360 meaning and beauty without romantic love. 0:04:20.160 --> 0:04:22.680 I was very busy because I was traveling a lot. 0:04:23.760 --> 0:04:27.599 I had great friends. We would always do things together. 0:04:28.600 --> 0:04:33.320 Friendship to me is extremely important and I value it 0:04:33.600 --> 0:04:34.960 very highly. 0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:37.400 She also spent as much time as she could with 0:04:37.480 --> 0:04:38.560 her daughter, Katie. 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:43.159 I have the most amazing daughter. We're very, very close. 0:04:44.360 --> 0:04:46.720 Katie's an adult now with a daughter of her own. 0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:50.800 My daughter and my granddaughter, or my whole life. I 0:04:51.000 --> 0:04:57.200 have the most amazing granddaughter. She's absolutely adorable and just 0:04:57.279 --> 0:04:58.479 as sweet as can be. 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:03.280 Sidney retired, she began traveling more often to visit her 0:05:03.360 --> 0:05:06.880 daughter and granddaughter. One day, she was boarding a flight 0:05:06.960 --> 0:05:09.960 to visit them. She found her seat and got comfortable. 0:05:10.880 --> 0:05:14.800 I tend to read when I'm on a flight, and 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:17.120 I started to take out a book. 0:05:17.800 --> 0:05:20.720 That's when the man sitting next to her struck up 0:05:20.720 --> 0:05:24.400 a conversation. He asked her what she was reading. 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:30.239 He started talking to me, and I was immediately intrigued 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:32.720 by his mannerism and his kindness. 0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:36.599 His name was Dan. As the flight went on, the 0:05:36.680 --> 0:05:37.760 two kept chatting. 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:46.360 He spoke so sweetly, and our conversation was lighthearted and humorous. 0:05:47.000 --> 0:05:50.080 Before long, Sidney forgot about her book altogether. 0:05:50.760 --> 0:05:53.720 We talked about just a little bit of everything, and 0:05:53.760 --> 0:05:59.400 he just seemed so kind and so forthcoming. And as 0:05:59.440 --> 0:06:04.359 we got to landing, he asked if I would mind 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:07.279 if I gave him my phone number, because he would 0:06:07.360 --> 0:06:08.479 like to stay in touch with me. 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:16.000 Sydney gave him her number. She wasn't sure if she'd 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:19.000 ever hear from him again. Maybe this was just a 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:21.159 one time, serendipitous connection. 0:06:21.920 --> 0:06:25.800 But then he contacted me as soon as I got 0:06:25.839 --> 0:06:31.840 back home, and we talked several times on the phone. 0:06:31.880 --> 0:06:36.000 We would have these hour two hour long conversations that 0:06:36.320 --> 0:06:37.800 just flowed so easily. 0:06:39.080 --> 0:06:41.360 Dan shared that he was also divorced. 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:45.400 He said that his wife had left him eighteen months prior. 0:06:46.240 --> 0:06:50.000 Then it got into more serious discussions about he had 0:06:50.120 --> 0:06:57.320 lost a grandchild and was going through that grieving process. 0:06:57.480 --> 0:07:01.200 I shared that I also had some tragedy in my 0:07:01.360 --> 0:07:05.840 life than that. Years ago. I had lost a child myself. 0:07:07.000 --> 0:07:09.640 The death of her children was not something she told 0:07:09.720 --> 0:07:13.280 many people about, but she felt safe opening up to Dan. 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:17.480 I shared it because I wanted him to know that 0:07:17.560 --> 0:07:21.720 I understood exactly how he felt. I wasn't just saying 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:25.800 that I understood. It was coming from the deepest part 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:28.920 of my soul, in my heart that I do understand, 0:07:30.080 --> 0:07:31.400 and you can trust me with that. 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:36.680 Dan held everything she shared with care. The parallels in 0:07:36.760 --> 0:07:38.960 their grief brought them closer together. 0:07:40.280 --> 0:07:44.560 All of a sudden, we felt this bond. We're sharing 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:50.320 things that are the utmost deepest issues in our lives, 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:53.840 and we're becoming very close within a very short period 0:07:53.880 --> 0:07:54.320 of time. 0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:00.800 When they met on the plane and he was preparing 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:03.840 to move closer to her daughter and granddaughter, it turned 0:08:03.880 --> 0:08:07.840 out Dan lived in the area too, so once Sydney 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:12.040 got settled into her new place, Dan called he wanted 0:08:12.080 --> 0:08:12.760 to come see her. 0:08:13.720 --> 0:08:16.320 He came to the condo that I was renting, and 0:08:16.400 --> 0:08:20.280 I remember opening the door and the look on his 0:08:20.480 --> 0:08:26.800 face was like, oh wow, I can't believe I'm actually 0:08:26.880 --> 0:08:29.800 standing in front of him. We're just not talking on 0:08:29.840 --> 0:08:32.520 the phone anymore. This is real. 0:08:33.800 --> 0:08:37.520 She welcomed him in the chemistry they had on the plane, 0:08:37.720 --> 0:08:38.680 came rushing back. 0:08:39.880 --> 0:08:42.960 We just talked and talked and talked, and then we 0:08:43.000 --> 0:08:45.840 went out to grab something to eat. And then he 0:08:46.000 --> 0:08:49.400 came back the next morning, and the same thing happened. 0:08:50.200 --> 0:08:52.840 The next two days were like an extended first date. 0:08:53.600 --> 0:08:55.880 He'd come over in the morning and we would spend 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:59.920 the entire day together. We did a lot of out 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:04.720 together and dinners together and walking in the park, and 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:06.319 then he would leave that evening. 0:09:07.320 --> 0:09:11.160 And after their marathon date wrapped up, they immediately started 0:09:11.160 --> 0:09:12.360 planning the next one. 0:09:13.000 --> 0:09:15.960 We started seeing each other more and more and more. 0:09:16.880 --> 0:09:19.640 They were eager to learn everything they could about each other. 0:09:20.200 --> 0:09:23.600 Soon they knew the details, big and small, of each 0:09:23.600 --> 0:09:24.360 other's lives. 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:30.679 He was an engineer, He was outgoing, He loved to laugh, 0:09:31.240 --> 0:09:36.679 he joked a lot. He was very gentle, very engaging. 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:43.000 Would listen, I mean intently to everything I said and 0:09:43.520 --> 0:09:48.240 took it to heart and made me feel very, very wunted. 0:09:49.679 --> 0:09:54.000 Dan took Sidney completely by surprise. She had given up 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:55.800 on finding a connection like this. 0:09:57.080 --> 0:10:01.200 I have to say that was a new feeling for me. 0:10:03.720 --> 0:10:06.280 It felt like life was giving her one more shot 0:10:06.320 --> 0:10:10.320 at love, one more shot at being truly happy with someone. 0:10:11.040 --> 0:10:15.000 But there were still challenges in their relationship. Dan was 0:10:15.080 --> 0:10:18.640 really struggling with the grief of losing his grandchild and 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:21.360 decided to see a counselor for support. 0:10:21.880 --> 0:10:24.880 He was telling the counselor the hard time he was 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:29.640 having getting past this event, and then he mentioned, however, 0:10:30.200 --> 0:10:34.679 I met someone and I'm really excited and I'd like 0:10:34.800 --> 0:10:38.679 to see where this goes. And the counselor said, well, 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:42.439 wait a minute, you're in the middle of a grieving process. 0:10:43.080 --> 0:10:46.080 I don't think this is the best time for you 0:10:46.160 --> 0:10:50.880 to get involved with a new relationship. I believe you 0:10:51.000 --> 0:10:54.240 need to work through the steps of grieving before you 0:10:54.360 --> 0:10:58.680 decide to move on, so let's do that first and 0:10:59.320 --> 0:11:00.640 just put it on pause. 0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:05.480 It struck Sydney as an overstep from the counselor, but 0:11:05.600 --> 0:11:09.360 she knew that Dan was deeply affected by his grandchild's death. 0:11:10.440 --> 0:11:13.199 Maybe it was weighing on him more than she knew, 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:16.120 so she was understanding. 0:11:16.480 --> 0:11:18.880 I told him the most important thing is for you 0:11:19.559 --> 0:11:22.640 to feel better and to get through this very difficult 0:11:22.679 --> 0:11:26.080 time in your life. So I will step aside. 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:29.600 So Dan and Sydney decided to take a break. 0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:37.360 It was difficult. I missed him. We didn't talk at all. 0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:40.240 Sydney tried going on a first date with someone new, 0:11:40.679 --> 0:11:42.800 but it wasn't the same as it was with Dan. 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:47.040 After a few weeks, Dan called her out of the. 0:11:47.000 --> 0:11:50.960 Blue and he said, I desperately need to talk to you. 0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:54.120 And I said, are you sure about that? I thought 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:55.960 we weren't supposed to see each other, and he said, 0:11:56.000 --> 0:11:59.599 it's about that. I can't do it. I miss you 0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:02.559 too much much. I don't care what the counselor says 0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:06.360 I'm ready. I want to start seeing you again. 0:12:07.520 --> 0:12:09.640 The two picked up right where they left off. 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:14.679 It was totally blissful. We just had the best time. 0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:19.200 It was just laughter and fun, and we got along 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:23.760 so beautifully and never ever once had a disagreement or 0:12:23.800 --> 0:12:26.720 an argument or anything. It was just wonderful. 0:12:27.679 --> 0:12:32.720 The weeks turned two months, their relationship became deeper, more stable, 0:12:33.280 --> 0:12:34.200 and more committed. 0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:40.280 We were sitting in a restaurant over dinner and he 0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:46.160 just looked at me and said, I want to be 0:12:46.320 --> 0:12:50.320 together forever. I just believe that we were meant to 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:55.280 be together. I had fallen very hard for him, and 0:12:55.920 --> 0:12:59.880 I remember being extremely happy. 0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:03.760 Sydney introduced Dan to her daughter, Katie. 0:13:03.760 --> 0:13:07.640 My daughter really liked him as well. And I remember 0:13:07.800 --> 0:13:10.520 I had to go into the hospital for some surgery 0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:13.240 and he came to the hospital and he sat with 0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:15.959 my daughter and they spent the time together waiting for 0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:18.760 me in the waiting room. They just really hit it 0:13:18.760 --> 0:13:20.480 off and she really liked him. 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:24.520 As Sydney recovered from surgery, Dan was facing some health 0:13:24.640 --> 0:13:28.720 challenges of his own. He had high cholesterol and saw 0:13:28.760 --> 0:13:33.040 a cardiologist regularly. One day, he opened up to Sydney 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:35.160 about his doctor's concerns. 0:13:35.720 --> 0:13:39.439 The doctor had found an irregular beat in his heart, 0:13:39.720 --> 0:13:44.079 but they didn't think it was anything drastic, and they 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:47.600 said that he had had a little bit more plaque 0:13:47.640 --> 0:13:51.200 around his heart, but they would raise his medication and 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:52.079 he should be fine. 0:13:52.800 --> 0:13:55.959 Dan didn't seem worried, so Sydney tried not to worry 0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:59.640 too much either. A week later, Dan made plans to 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:01.880 visit his brother's. 0:14:01.520 --> 0:14:05.920 They were going to get together to discuss his mother's 0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:08.760 will before she passed away, so they wouldn't have to 0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:09.760 worry about anything. 0:14:10.600 --> 0:14:12.920 Dan would drive a few hours away to meet up 0:14:12.960 --> 0:14:17.079 with them and stay for the weekend. Before he headed out, 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:18.840 he met Sydney for a lunch date. 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:22.600 I wished him a great trip, and he said, I 0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:25.440 will call you every day, let you know everything goes. 0:14:26.120 --> 0:14:28.760 A few hours later, Sydney's phone rang. 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:33.840 It was Dan. He had stopped for gas and he 0:14:33.960 --> 0:14:37.680 already missed me, and then he called me when he 0:14:37.720 --> 0:14:38.560 got down there. 0:14:39.640 --> 0:14:42.160 It was sweet to see how much Dan missed her. 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:45.640 After only a few hours, Sydney went about her day 0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:49.320 as usual. At this point, Sydney and Dan had been 0:14:49.360 --> 0:14:53.440 talking every day for five months. He always texted or 0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:56.240 called her to SA good night. But on this night 0:14:56.640 --> 0:14:57.720 she didn't hear from him. 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:04.040 I tried texting, he didn't answer. I tried calling, he 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:04.800 didn't answer. 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:10.400 Sydney went to sleep feeling anxious. When she woke up 0:15:10.400 --> 0:15:14.640 the next morning, Dan still hadn't reached out. She checked 0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:19.200 her phone all morning and afternoon, but still nothing. 0:15:19.960 --> 0:15:22.960 The last time I talked to him, he said he 0:15:23.000 --> 0:15:28.920 had arrived safely, and I thought, this is so strange. 0:15:29.040 --> 0:15:32.280 Why would he not contact me? And then I started 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:36.800 worrying what happened. Something must have happened. Did he have 0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:40.600 an automobile accident? And you start making up stories? 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:45.880 The whole weekend passed without any word from Dan. She 0:15:46.000 --> 0:15:49.440 started to wonder was this his way of breaking up 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:49.720 with her. 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:54.640 I've heard of people ending relationships kind of like that 0:15:55.120 --> 0:15:59.360 all of a sudden, but not him. I trusted him 0:15:59.400 --> 0:16:00.280 way too much. 0:16:05.640 --> 0:16:07.800 The silence went on for a week and a half. 0:16:08.760 --> 0:16:12.040 She didn't have any way of contacting his family. She 0:16:12.320 --> 0:16:15.400 just hoped that if something had happened to Dan, they 0:16:15.440 --> 0:16:17.000 would find a way to reach her. 0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:22.560 I was going out of my mind not knowing what happened. 0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:26.960 One afternoon, Sydney was getting ready to spend time with 0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:31.080 her daughter. When she heard her phone buzz, her heart leapt, 0:16:31.200 --> 0:16:34.520 hoping it might be Dan. Instead, it was a text 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:39.320 from a number she didn't recognize. She started reading. It 0:16:39.360 --> 0:16:43.120 was Dan's brother. She'd never met him before, but he 0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:44.880 was writing with bad news. 0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:49.760 He said that he was so sorry to have to 0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:54.960 tell me this, but Dan had a heart attack and 0:16:55.280 --> 0:17:16.680 he passed away. 0:17:18.840 --> 0:17:21.400 Sidney's boyfriend, Dan, was on a trip with his brother's 0:17:21.480 --> 0:17:25.240 when he suddenly stopped texting and calling her back. Sydney 0:17:25.240 --> 0:17:28.560 didn't hear from him for days and was beginning to panic. 0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:31.400 Then she got a text from his. 0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:36.960 Brother saying that he was so sorry to have to 0:17:37.000 --> 0:17:43.160 tell me this, but Dan had a heart attack and 0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:45.080 he passed away. 0:17:46.520 --> 0:17:49.800 Dan's brother explained that it happened suddenly one night on 0:17:49.840 --> 0:17:53.200 their trip, when Dan was heading to bed. He said 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:56.440 good night to his brother's and went upstairs. 0:17:56.800 --> 0:17:59.760 And that was the last that he heard until he 0:17:59.760 --> 0:18:04.200 heard a big crash upstairs where he fell, and when 0:18:04.240 --> 0:18:08.240 he ran upstairs, he called nine one one, tried to 0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:14.080 revive his brother and couldn't revive him, and by the 0:18:14.119 --> 0:18:16.560 time he got to the hospital, he passed on the way. 0:18:18.920 --> 0:18:21.760 He said that In the first few days following Dan's death, 0:18:22.200 --> 0:18:25.800 he hadn't been able to find Dan's phone. Without it, 0:18:26.160 --> 0:18:29.120 he didn't have Sydney's number, so he had no way 0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:32.399 to contact her. He felt horrible that it had taken 0:18:32.560 --> 0:18:36.200 so long to reach her. 0:18:36.240 --> 0:18:40.520 His brother said, I know how hard this has to 0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:47.879 be on you, Between my mother and his kids, everybody 0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:52.080 is just devastated. I'm sorry that we couldn't reach out 0:18:52.119 --> 0:18:55.760 to you as soon as it happened, but like I said, 0:18:56.080 --> 0:18:59.400 we couldn't find his phone. 0:18:59.560 --> 0:19:03.280 That's where his message ended. Sydney broke down. 0:19:04.400 --> 0:19:08.640 I was a mess. I was crying. I was out 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:09.359 of my mind. 0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:13.919 Then her daughter, Katie showed up at her house. They 0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:15.919 were supposed to spend the afternoon together. 0:19:17.320 --> 0:19:23.359 She walked in and I just screamed. I told her 0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:28.479 what happened, and she dropped everything and just came to 0:19:28.520 --> 0:19:31.639 me and tried to comfort me the best she could. 0:19:32.440 --> 0:19:36.680 But she was upset too, because she really liked him. 0:19:37.119 --> 0:19:42.119 A heart attack. Sydney remembered Dan's cardiologist concerns, but she 0:19:42.200 --> 0:19:44.640 had no idea things were this serious. 0:19:45.400 --> 0:19:50.240 I was just devastated, absolutely devastated. 0:19:52.400 --> 0:19:55.920 The next few days were dark, especially when Sydney found 0:19:55.960 --> 0:19:59.720 out the family had already held a ceremony and buried Dan. 0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:04.000 The family plot. Kitty also reached out to Dan's brother, 0:20:04.560 --> 0:20:06.600 and he did his best to be there for her 0:20:06.640 --> 0:20:09.240 and Sydney as he dealt with his own grief. 0:20:10.280 --> 0:20:14.719 His brother responded to my daughter saying, I'm so sorry 0:20:14.920 --> 0:20:17.320 this has happened. And I know how much he loved 0:20:17.480 --> 0:20:20.320 your mother, and you told me knew how much he 0:20:20.440 --> 0:20:22.760 loved me, and he spoke about me all the time. 0:20:23.680 --> 0:20:27.160 Hearing Dan's brother talk about him in past tense made 0:20:27.200 --> 0:20:30.680 the reality sink in. Dan wasn't coming back. 0:20:31.760 --> 0:20:35.760 I didn't know what to do. I was just I 0:20:35.880 --> 0:20:36.520 was frantic. 0:20:37.720 --> 0:20:40.520 When Dan had been by her side, the world felt 0:20:40.560 --> 0:20:46.119 bright and full of possibility. Now everything felt heavy. She 0:20:46.200 --> 0:20:51.920 missed Dan's laugh, their long conversations, their shared hikes. Most 0:20:51.920 --> 0:20:54.359 of all, she just missed him. 0:20:54.920 --> 0:20:58.280 It was horrible. I'm not a person that gets depressed. 0:20:58.560 --> 0:21:01.880 I've never been depressed in my life, but I felt 0:21:01.920 --> 0:21:03.760 like I was going to get to that point. 0:21:04.600 --> 0:21:07.320 She turned over the details again and again. 0:21:08.160 --> 0:21:12.080 Things didn't add up in my brain. I kept thinking, 0:21:12.240 --> 0:21:16.639 how could this have happened? It doesn't make sense. 0:21:18.359 --> 0:21:21.520 But as time went on, she had to find acceptance. 0:21:22.440 --> 0:21:26.840 He's gone. It is what it is. I can't change it. 0:21:27.680 --> 0:21:30.399 For the first month after Dan's death, it was hard 0:21:30.440 --> 0:21:33.640 for Sidney to get out of bed. One day, one 0:21:33.640 --> 0:21:37.000 of Sydney's close friends, Peter, reached out to her. His 0:21:37.080 --> 0:21:40.280 whole family was going on a tropical vacation and he 0:21:40.359 --> 0:21:42.280 wanted her to come with them, and. 0:21:42.280 --> 0:21:45.720 He said, you need to get out of here, and 0:21:46.080 --> 0:21:50.800 maybe getting away would help mend my broken heart a 0:21:50.840 --> 0:21:51.360 little bit. 0:21:52.400 --> 0:21:56.080 Sidney decided to go on the trip. While the rest 0:21:56.119 --> 0:21:59.520 of the group went on excursions, Sydney stayed behind and 0:21:59.600 --> 0:22:01.119 laid by the pool by herself. 0:22:02.240 --> 0:22:05.640 I remember screaming up in the sky, going God, why 0:22:05.680 --> 0:22:09.280 did you do this? Please? I have to get past 0:22:09.320 --> 0:22:10.360 this and what do I do? 0:22:11.480 --> 0:22:14.840 It felt good to get some emotion out that week 0:22:14.880 --> 0:22:18.160 gave Sydney the space to begin to process Dan's death. 0:22:20.200 --> 0:22:23.920 Sydney wanted to try and visit Dan's grave early on. 0:22:24.119 --> 0:22:26.760 She asked his brother about it, but he gave her 0:22:26.840 --> 0:22:28.240 a complicated answer. 0:22:28.920 --> 0:22:33.160 He gave me this long explanation of it was in 0:22:33.240 --> 0:22:38.199 some family grave out in the forest, and there was 0:22:38.240 --> 0:22:43.720 a private gate to go through. It just sounded so strange. 0:22:44.040 --> 0:22:47.520 Talking to Dan's family was hard. It often left her 0:22:47.600 --> 0:22:52.640 with more questions than answers. Eventually she stopped reaching out. 0:22:53.359 --> 0:22:56.320 I decided that I would try and go on with 0:22:56.440 --> 0:22:59.119 my life, even though it was very hard. 0:23:00.040 --> 0:23:03.880 Sidney thought that with time, life without Dan would get easier. 0:23:04.480 --> 0:23:08.160 But a whole year went by, and as the seasons passed, 0:23:08.680 --> 0:23:12.440 Sidney was still struggling to move on. It was hard 0:23:12.480 --> 0:23:15.800 to find any closure with how suddenly Dan had died. 0:23:16.720 --> 0:23:19.760 She had never gotten to say goodbye. There was so 0:23:19.960 --> 0:23:24.280 much left unsaid. Her friend Peter told her about a 0:23:24.320 --> 0:23:27.199 strategy that helped him get through hard times in his 0:23:27.240 --> 0:23:28.960 own life. 0:23:29.200 --> 0:23:34.240 When things really get hard. Are you're facing something really difficult, 0:23:35.000 --> 0:23:38.720 throw it out to the universe, and the universe will 0:23:38.800 --> 0:23:44.359 somehow take care of you. And I always thought, yeah, 0:23:44.400 --> 0:23:45.080 write whatever. 0:23:47.480 --> 0:23:51.879 Sidney was skeptical, but Peter wasn't kidding. He suggested she 0:23:52.000 --> 0:23:54.560 write everything she wished she could say to Dan in 0:23:54.600 --> 0:23:57.679 a letter to him. It might help her process her 0:23:57.720 --> 0:24:01.200 feelings and maybe get some small sense of closure. 0:24:02.320 --> 0:24:05.560 I was having such a hard time getting past everything, 0:24:06.640 --> 0:24:10.719 so I thought, you know, what would it hurt? What 0:24:10.760 --> 0:24:12.560 would it hurt to do this? My thought? But how 0:24:12.560 --> 0:24:15.680 do I do it? And then I realized I still 0:24:15.720 --> 0:24:21.159 had his email address, so I thought, okay, I'm going 0:24:21.240 --> 0:24:21.720 to try this. 0:24:24.240 --> 0:24:26.639 So she grabbed her laptop and got set up at 0:24:26.640 --> 0:24:34.240 her kitchen counter, and then she began to write. 0:24:32.440 --> 0:24:36.880 Dan, I really still love you and I miss you. 0:24:37.760 --> 0:24:41.399 I know you are gone, but I just want you 0:24:41.480 --> 0:24:44.800 to know I love you. I will always love you. 0:24:45.400 --> 0:24:49.639 I will never forget you. My heart is broken, it 0:24:49.680 --> 0:24:54.720 will always be broken wherever you are in the universe. 0:24:55.440 --> 0:24:58.840 I hope you are well taken care of. I just 0:24:58.960 --> 0:25:03.320 hope that you're soul is happy, and just know that 0:25:04.119 --> 0:25:09.760 your heart will be with mine forever. After I composed 0:25:09.760 --> 0:25:12.680 it, it took me a minute to hit send, and I thought, 0:25:12.880 --> 0:25:18.199 is this really ridiculous? And I thought, no, I'm going 0:25:18.240 --> 0:25:22.640 to try it. And when I hit send, I just 0:25:22.840 --> 0:25:28.640 felt better. It was amazing. It felt like a huge 0:25:29.359 --> 0:25:35.359 brick was lifted from my body, Like wow, this really worked. 0:25:36.040 --> 0:25:39.160 She felt a sense of lightness, a closure she had 0:25:39.160 --> 0:25:43.480 been chasing for almost a year and a half. A 0:25:43.480 --> 0:25:46.040 few days later, Sydney was getting ready to go over 0:25:46.080 --> 0:25:47.120 to Katie's. 0:25:46.680 --> 0:25:50.320 House and I thought, oh, I'm going to check my 0:25:50.359 --> 0:25:54.720 emails before I go and all of a sudden, I 0:25:55.000 --> 0:25:58.960 see a response from Dan's email. 0:26:01.119 --> 0:26:02.520 Sydney did a double take. 0:26:03.200 --> 0:26:06.520 I'm like, wait a minute, I can't be reading this. Right, 0:26:07.480 --> 0:26:13.679 must be from his brother. So I opened it and 0:26:13.800 --> 0:26:20.679 I began reading and it was just complete sheer shock 0:26:21.520 --> 0:26:28.719 of horror. The very first line of this email said, 0:26:28.840 --> 0:26:34.800 Darling Sydney, I have sinned against God and you please 0:26:34.880 --> 0:26:37.720