WEBVTT - Sydney | Betrayal Weekly

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<v Speaker 1>How in the world could someone stoop that low and

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<v Speaker 1>go to that extreme? Were you too cowardly? Just tell

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<v Speaker 1>me the truth.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal, a show about

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<v Speaker 2>the people we trust the most and the deceptions that

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<v Speaker 2>change everything. A little while ago, a woman wrote into

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<v Speaker 2>our show to share a story of betrayal. We're gonna

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<v Speaker 2>call her Katie. She attached a voice memo to her email.

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<v Speaker 2>Here's that voice memo.

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<v Speaker 1>This is the story of a woman who couldn't give

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<v Speaker 1>up on love.

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<v Speaker 2>My mom has not been the luckiest in love. This

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<v Speaker 2>is a story about my mom. After hearing this, we

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<v Speaker 2>got on the phone with Katie and her mom, who

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<v Speaker 2>were going to call Sydney. This is her story. Sydney

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<v Speaker 2>grew up in the Midwest with her parents and brothers.

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<v Speaker 2>From a young age, her dad introduced the kids to

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<v Speaker 2>a life of adventure.

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<v Speaker 1>He was a private pilot, and I would go out

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<v Speaker 1>to the airport with him and we would fly all over.

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<v Speaker 2>Sydney, her brothers, and her mom would pack into her

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<v Speaker 2>dad's tiny airplane and hold on tight as it lifted

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<v Speaker 2>off into the sky. Sydney loved flying.

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<v Speaker 1>It felt like you were far above everything. You were

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<v Speaker 1>in the sky with all the clouds, and my father

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<v Speaker 1>was in complete control, and so the trust I had

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<v Speaker 1>was just beyond belief that I love looking down at

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<v Speaker 1>the earth and all the glory that's down there, and

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<v Speaker 1>you're just amazed.

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<v Speaker 2>They were a work hard, play hard kind of family.

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<v Speaker 2>After school and on weekends, Sydney worked at her family's restaurant.

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<v Speaker 1>At fifty cents an hour.

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<v Speaker 2>They served hamburgers and fries. The restaurant was painted white,

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<v Speaker 2>with barstools lined up in a neat row.

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<v Speaker 1>You had an awning where people pulled up in their

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<v Speaker 1>cars and then some would go out and take their order.

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<v Speaker 1>They would fix it, and then you'd go out and

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<v Speaker 1>put a tray on their car.

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<v Speaker 2>It was a picturesque childhood, but after graduating high school,

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<v Speaker 2>Sydney's young adult life was marked by a lot of hardship.

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<v Speaker 2>She married young and got pregnant with her first son,

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<v Speaker 2>but her entrance into motherhood was immensely challenging. Her son

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<v Speaker 2>was born with a terminal illness.

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<v Speaker 1>I lost my son when he was two, and then

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<v Speaker 1>I had gotten pregnant again and lost a stillborn.

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<v Speaker 2>Sydney dealt with waves of overlapping grief after losing her children,

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<v Speaker 2>it was an incredibly difficult time. In the years that followed,

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<v Speaker 2>her marriage ended as well. When she was ready, Sydney

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<v Speaker 2>had other relationships. She remarried and gave birth to her daughter, Katie,

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<v Speaker 2>but that marriage also ended in divorce. After dealing with

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<v Speaker 2>all shades of heartbreak, Sydney decided to stay single. She

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<v Speaker 2>thought maybe a true deep romance just wasn't in the

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<v Speaker 2>cards for her, and besides, her life had plenty of

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<v Speaker 2>meaning and beauty without romantic love.

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<v Speaker 1>I was very busy because I was traveling a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>I had great friends. We would always do things together. Friendship,

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<v Speaker 1>to me is extremely important and I value it very highly.

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<v Speaker 2>She also spent as much time as she could with

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<v Speaker 2>her daughter, Katie.

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<v Speaker 1>I have the most amazing daughter. We're very very close.

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<v Speaker 2>Katie's an adult now with a daughter of her own.

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<v Speaker 1>My daughter and my granddaughter are my whole life. I

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<v Speaker 1>have the most amazing granddaughter. She's absolutely adorable and just

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<v Speaker 1>as sweet as can be.

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<v Speaker 2>When Sydney retired, she began traveling more often to visit

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<v Speaker 2>her daughter and granddaughter. One day, she was boarding a

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<v Speaker 2>flight to visit them, she found her seat and got comfortable.

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<v Speaker 1>I tend to read when I'm on a flight, and

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<v Speaker 1>I started to take out a book.

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<v Speaker 2>That's when the man sitting next to her struck up

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<v Speaker 2>a conversation. He asked she was reading.

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<v Speaker 1>He started talking to me, and I was immediately intrigued

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<v Speaker 1>by his mannerism and his kindness.

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<v Speaker 2>His name was Dan. As the flight went on, the

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<v Speaker 2>two kept chatting.

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<v Speaker 1>He spoke so sweetly, and our conversation was lighthearted and humorous.

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<v Speaker 2>Before long, Sidney forgot about her book altogether.

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<v Speaker 1>We talked about just a little bit of everything, and

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<v Speaker 1>he just seemed so kind and so forthcoming. And as

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<v Speaker 1>we got closer to landing, he asked if I would

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<v Speaker 1>mind if I gave him my phone number, because he

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<v Speaker 1>would like to stay in touch with me.

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<v Speaker 2>Sydney gave him her number. She wasn't sure if she'd

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<v Speaker 2>ever hear from him again, maybe this was just a

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<v Speaker 2>one time, serendipitous connection.

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<v Speaker 1>But then he contacted me as soon as I got

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<v Speaker 1>back home, and we talked several times on the phone.

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<v Speaker 1>We would have these hour two hour long conversations that

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<v Speaker 1>just flowed so easily.

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<v Speaker 2>Dan shared that he was also divorced.

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<v Speaker 1>He said that his wife had left him eighteen months prior.

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<v Speaker 1>Then it got into more serious discussions about he had

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<v Speaker 1>lost a grandchild and was going through that grieving process.

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<v Speaker 1>I shared that I also had some tragedy in my

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<v Speaker 1>life than that. Years ago, I had lost a child myself.

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<v Speaker 2>The death of her children was not something she told

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<v Speaker 2>many people about, but she felt safe opening up to Dan.

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<v Speaker 1>I shared it because I wanted him to know that

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<v Speaker 1>I understood exactly how he felt. I wasn't just saying

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<v Speaker 1>that I understood, was coming from the deepest part of

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<v Speaker 1>my soul, in my heart, that I do understand, and

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<v Speaker 1>you can trust me with that.

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<v Speaker 2>Dan held everything she shared with care. The parallels in

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<v Speaker 2>their grief brought them closer together.

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<v Speaker 1>All of a sudden, we felt this bond. We're sharing

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<v Speaker 1>things that are the utmost deepest issues in our lives,

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<v Speaker 1>and we're becoming very close within a very short period

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<v Speaker 1>of time.

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<v Speaker 2>When they met on the plane, Sydney was preparing to

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<v Speaker 2>move closer to her daughter and granddaughter. It turned out

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<v Speaker 2>Dan lived in the area too, so once Sydney got

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<v Speaker 2>settled into her new place, Dan called he wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>come see her.

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<v Speaker 1>He came to the condo that I was renting, and

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<v Speaker 1>I remember opening the door, and the look on his

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<v Speaker 1>face was like, Oh wow, Wow, I can't believe I'm

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<v Speaker 1>actually standing in front of him. We're just not talking

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<v Speaker 1>on the phone anymore. This is real.

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<v Speaker 2>She welcomed him in the chemistry they had on the plane,

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<v Speaker 2>came rushing back.

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<v Speaker 1>We just talked and talked and talked, and then we

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<v Speaker 1>went out to grab something to eat, and then he

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<v Speaker 1>came back the next morning, and the same thing happened.

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<v Speaker 2>The next two days were like an extended first date.

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<v Speaker 1>He'd come over in the morning and we would spend

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<v Speaker 1>the entire day together. We did a lot of outings

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<v Speaker 1>together and dinners together and walking in the park, and

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<v Speaker 1>then he would leave that evening.

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<v Speaker 2>And after their marathon date wrapped up, they immediately started

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<v Speaker 2>planning the next one.

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<v Speaker 1>We started seeing each other more and more and more.

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<v Speaker 2>They were eager to learn everything they could about each other.

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<v Speaker 2>Soon they knew the details, big and small, of each

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<v Speaker 2>other lives.

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<v Speaker 1>He was an engineer, He was outgoing, He loved to laugh,

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<v Speaker 1>he joked a lot. He was very gentle, very engaging,

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<v Speaker 1>would listen, I mean intently to everything I said and

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<v Speaker 1>took it to heart and made me feel very, very wanted.

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<v Speaker 2>Dan took Sydney completely by surprise. She had given up

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<v Speaker 2>on finding a connection like this.

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<v Speaker 1>I have to say that was a new feeling for me.

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<v Speaker 2>It felt like life was giving her one more shot

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<v Speaker 2>at love, one more shot at being truly happy with someone.

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<v Speaker 2>But there were still challenges in their relationship. Dan was

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<v Speaker 2>really struggling with the grief of losing his grandchild and

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<v Speaker 2>decided to see a counselor for support.

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<v Speaker 1>He was telling the count the hard time he was

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<v Speaker 1>having getting past this event, and then he mentioned, however,

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<v Speaker 1>I met someone and I'm really excited and I'd like

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<v Speaker 1>to see where this goes. And the counselor said, well,

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<v Speaker 1>wait a minute, you're in the middle of a grieving process.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think this is the best time for you

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<v Speaker 1>to get involved with a new relationship. I believe you

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<v Speaker 1>need to work through the steps of grieving before you

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<v Speaker 1>decide to move on. So let's do that first and

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<v Speaker 1>just put it on pause.

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<v Speaker 2>It struck Sidney as an overstep from the counselor, but

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<v Speaker 2>she knew that Dan was deeply affected by his grandchild's death.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe it was weighing on him more than she knew,

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<v Speaker 2>so she was understanding.

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<v Speaker 1>I told him, the most important thing is for you

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<v Speaker 1>to feel better and to get through this very difficult

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<v Speaker 1>time in your life. So I will step aside.

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<v Speaker 2>So Dan and Sydney decided to take a break.

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<v Speaker 1>It was difficult. I missed him. We didn't talk at all.

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<v Speaker 2>Sydney tried going on a first date with someone new,

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<v Speaker 2>but it wasn't the same as it was with Dan.

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<v Speaker 2>After a few weeks, Dan called her out of.

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<v Speaker 1>The blue and he said, I desperately need to talk

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<v Speaker 1>to you. And I said, are you sure about that?

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<v Speaker 1>I thought we weren't supposed to see each other, and

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<v Speaker 1>he said, it's about that. I can't do it. I

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<v Speaker 1>miss you too much. I don't care what the counselor says.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm ready. I want to start seeing you again.

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<v Speaker 2>The two picked up right where they left off.

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<v Speaker 1>It was totally blissful. We just had the best time.

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<v Speaker 1>It was just laughter and fun and we got along

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<v Speaker 1>so beautifully and never ever once had a disagreement or

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<v Speaker 1>an argument or anything. It was just wonderful.

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<v Speaker 2>The weeks turned two months, their relationship became deeper, more stable,

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<v Speaker 2>and more committed.

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<v Speaker 1>We were sitting in a restaurant over dinner and he

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<v Speaker 1>just looked at me and said, I want to be

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<v Speaker 1>together forever. I just believe that we were meant to

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<v Speaker 1>be together. I had fallen very hard for him, and

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<v Speaker 1>I remember being extremely happy.

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<v Speaker 2>Sydney introduced Dan to her daughter, Katie.

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<v Speaker 1>My daughter really liked him as well, and I remember

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<v Speaker 1>I had to go into the hospital for some surgery

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<v Speaker 1>and he came to the hospital and he sat with

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<v Speaker 1>my daughter and they spent the time together waiting for

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<v Speaker 1>me in the waiting room. They just really hit it

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<v Speaker 1>off and she really liked him.

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<v Speaker 2>As Sydney recovered from surgery, Dan was facing some health

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<v Speaker 2>challenges of his own. He had high cholesterol and saw

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<v Speaker 2>a cardiologist regularly. One day, he opened up to Sydney

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<v Speaker 2>about his doctor's concerns.

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<v Speaker 1>The doctor had found an irregular beat in his heart,

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<v Speaker 1>but they didn't think it was anything drastic, and they

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<v Speaker 1>said that he had had a little bit more plaque

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<v Speaker 1>around his heart, but they would raise his medication and

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<v Speaker 1>he should be fine.

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<v Speaker 2>Dan didn't seem worried, so Sydney tried not to worry

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<v Speaker 2>too much either. A week later, Dan made plans to

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<v Speaker 2>visit his brothers.

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<v Speaker 1>They were going to get together to discuss his mother's

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<v Speaker 1>will before she passed away, so they wouldn't have to

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<v Speaker 1>worry about anything.

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<v Speaker 2>Dan would drive a few hours away to meet up

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<v Speaker 2>with them and stay for the weekend. Before he headed out,

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<v Speaker 2>he met Sydney for a lunch date.

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<v Speaker 1>I wished him a great trip, and he said, I

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<v Speaker 1>will call you every day day let you know everything goes.

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<v Speaker 2>A few hours later, Sydney's phone rang.

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<v Speaker 1>It was Dan. He had stopped for gas and he

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<v Speaker 1>already missed me, and then he called me when he

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<v Speaker 1>got down there.

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<v Speaker 2>It was sweet to see how much Dan missed her.

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<v Speaker 2>After only a few hours, Sydney went about her day

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<v Speaker 2>as usual. At this point, Sydney and Dan had been

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<v Speaker 2>talking every day for five months. He always texted or

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<v Speaker 2>called her to sa good night, but on this night

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<v Speaker 2>she didn't hear from him.

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<v Speaker 1>I tried texting, he didn't answer. I tried calling, he

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<v Speaker 1>didn't answer.

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<v Speaker 2>Sydney went to sleep, feeling anxious. When she woke up

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<v Speaker 2>the next morning, Dan still hadn't reached out. She checked

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<v Speaker 2>her phone all morning and afternoon, but still nothing.

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<v Speaker 1>The last time I talked to him, he said he

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<v Speaker 1>had a d safely and I thought, this is so strange.

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<v Speaker 1>Why would he not contact me, and then I started

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<v Speaker 1>worrying what happened. Something must have happened. Did he have

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<v Speaker 1>an automobile accident? And you start making up stories?

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<v Speaker 2>The whole weekend passed without any word from Dan. She

0:15:22.400 --> 0:15:25.800
<v Speaker 2>started to wonder was this his way of breaking up

0:15:25.800 --> 0:15:26.080
<v Speaker 2>with her.

0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:31.040
<v Speaker 1>I've heard of people ending relationships kind of like that

0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:35.720
<v Speaker 1>all of a sudden, but not him. I trusted him

0:15:35.760 --> 0:15:36.520
<v Speaker 1>way too much.

0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:44.200
<v Speaker 2>The silence went on for a week and a half.

0:15:45.160 --> 0:15:48.440
<v Speaker 2>She didn't have any way of contacting his family. She

0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:51.800
<v Speaker 2>just hoped that if something had happened to Dan, they

0:15:51.800 --> 0:15:55.200
<v Speaker 2>would find a way to reach her.

0:15:56.040 --> 0:15:58.960
<v Speaker 1>I was going out of my mind not knowing what happened.

0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:03.360
<v Speaker 2>One afternoon, Sydney was getting ready to spend time with

0:16:03.400 --> 0:16:07.480
<v Speaker 2>her daughter when she heard her phone buzz. Her heart leapt,

0:16:07.600 --> 0:16:10.880
<v Speaker 2>hoping it might be Dan. Instead, it was a text

0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:15.640
<v Speaker 2>from a number she didn't recognize. She started reading It

0:16:15.760 --> 0:16:19.520
<v Speaker 2>was Dan's brother. She'd never met him before, but he

0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:21.000
<v Speaker 2>was writing with bad news.

0:16:21.840 --> 0:16:26.160
<v Speaker 1>He said that he was so sorry to have to

0:16:26.200 --> 0:16:31.360
<v Speaker 1>tell me this, but Dan had a heart attack and

0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:33.280
<v Speaker 1>he passed away.

0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:57.800
<v Speaker 2>Sidney's boyfriend, Dan was on a trip with his brothers

0:16:57.840 --> 0:17:01.600
<v Speaker 2>when he suddenly stopped texting and called her back. Sydney

0:17:01.640 --> 0:17:04.960
<v Speaker 2>didn't hear from him for days and was beginning to panic.

0:17:05.760 --> 0:17:07.840
<v Speaker 2>Then she got a text from his.

0:17:07.760 --> 0:17:13.320
<v Speaker 1>Brother saying that he was so sorry to have to

0:17:13.400 --> 0:17:19.560
<v Speaker 1>tell me this, but Dan had a heart attack and

0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:21.480
<v Speaker 1>he passed away.

0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:26.199
<v Speaker 2>Dan's brother explained that it happened suddenly one night on

0:17:26.240 --> 0:17:29.600
<v Speaker 2>their trip, when Dan was heading to bed. He said

0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:32.840
<v Speaker 2>good night to his brother's and went upstairs.

0:17:33.160 --> 0:17:36.159
<v Speaker 1>And that was the last that he heard until he

0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:40.600
<v Speaker 1>heard a big crash upstairs where he fell, and when

0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:44.639
<v Speaker 1>he ran upstairs, he called nine one one, tried to

0:17:44.680 --> 0:17:50.439
<v Speaker 1>revive his brother and couldn't revive him, and by the

0:17:50.520 --> 0:17:52.920
<v Speaker 1>time they got to the hospital he passed on the way.

0:17:55.320 --> 0:17:58.120
<v Speaker 2>He said that in the first few days following Dan's death,

0:17:58.560 --> 0:18:02.160
<v Speaker 2>he hadn't been able to find Dan's phone. Without it,

0:18:02.560 --> 0:18:05.520
<v Speaker 2>he didn't have Sydney's number, so we had no way

0:18:05.560 --> 0:18:08.800
<v Speaker 2>to contact her. He felt horrible that it had taken

0:18:08.960 --> 0:18:10.120
<v Speaker 2>so long to reach her.

0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:16.919
<v Speaker 1>His brother said, I know how hard this has to

0:18:16.960 --> 0:18:24.280
<v Speaker 1>be on you. Between my mother and his kids, everybody

0:18:24.400 --> 0:18:28.440
<v Speaker 1>is just devastated. I'm sorry that we couldn't reach out

0:18:28.480 --> 0:18:32.119
<v Speaker 1>to you as soon as it happened, but like I said,

0:18:32.440 --> 0:18:35.760
<v Speaker 1>we couldn't find his phone.

0:18:36.000 --> 0:18:39.680
<v Speaker 2>That's where his message ended. Sydney broke down.

0:18:40.760 --> 0:18:45.000
<v Speaker 1>I was a mess. I was crying. I was out

0:18:45.040 --> 0:18:45.760
<v Speaker 1>of my mind.

0:18:46.720 --> 0:18:50.320
<v Speaker 2>Then her daughter Katie showed up at her house. They

0:18:50.320 --> 0:18:52.320
<v Speaker 2>were supposed to spend the afternoon together.

0:18:53.680 --> 0:18:59.840
<v Speaker 1>She walked in and I just screamed. I told her

0:19:00.119 --> 0:19:04.879
<v Speaker 1>what happened, and she dropped everything and just came to

0:19:04.920 --> 0:19:08.000
<v Speaker 1>me and tried to comfort me the best she could.

0:19:08.800 --> 0:19:13.040
<v Speaker 1>But she was upset too, because she really liked him.

0:19:13.520 --> 0:19:18.520
<v Speaker 2>A heart attack. Sydney remembered Dan's cardiologist concerns, but she

0:19:18.560 --> 0:19:21.600
<v Speaker 2>had no idea things were this serious.

0:19:21.800 --> 0:19:26.640
<v Speaker 1>I was just devastated, absolutely devastated.

0:19:28.760 --> 0:19:32.320
<v Speaker 2>The next few days were dark, especially when Sydney found

0:19:32.359 --> 0:19:36.120
<v Speaker 2>out the family had already held a ceremony and buried Dan.

0:19:36.320 --> 0:19:40.399
<v Speaker 2>In the family plot, Kitty also reached out to Dan's brother,

0:19:40.920 --> 0:19:42.960
<v Speaker 2>and he did his best to be there for her

0:19:43.040 --> 0:19:45.639
<v Speaker 2>and Sydney as he dealt with his own grief.

0:19:46.640 --> 0:19:51.119
<v Speaker 1>His brother responded to my daughter saying, I'm so sorry

0:19:51.280 --> 0:19:53.720
<v Speaker 1>this has happened, and I know how much he loved

0:19:53.880 --> 0:19:56.720
<v Speaker 1>your mother, and he told me knew how much he

0:19:56.800 --> 0:19:59.159
<v Speaker 1>loved me, and he spoke about me all the time.

0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:03.600
<v Speaker 2>Hearing Dan's brother talk about him in past tense made

0:20:03.600 --> 0:20:07.080
<v Speaker 2>the reality sink in. Dan wasn't coming back.

0:20:08.160 --> 0:20:12.159
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know what to do. I was just I

0:20:12.280 --> 0:20:12.920
<v Speaker 1>was frantic.

0:20:14.080 --> 0:20:16.919
<v Speaker 2>When Dan had been by her side, the world felt

0:20:16.920 --> 0:20:22.520
<v Speaker 2>bright and full of possibility. Now everything felt heavy. She

0:20:22.600 --> 0:20:28.280
<v Speaker 2>missed Dan's laugh, their long conversations, their shared hikes. Most

0:20:28.320 --> 0:20:30.720
<v Speaker 2>of all, she just missed him.

0:20:31.280 --> 0:20:34.680
<v Speaker 1>It was horrible. I'm not a person that gets depressed.

0:20:34.960 --> 0:20:38.240
<v Speaker 1>I've never been depressed in my life, but I felt

0:20:38.280 --> 0:20:40.119
<v Speaker 1>like I was going to get to that point.

0:20:40.960 --> 0:20:43.679
<v Speaker 2>She turned over the details again and again.

0:20:44.560 --> 0:20:48.440
<v Speaker 1>Things didn't add up in my brain. I kept thinking,

0:20:48.640 --> 0:20:53.000
<v Speaker 1>how could this have happened? It doesn't make sense.

0:20:54.720 --> 0:20:57.879
<v Speaker 2>But as time went on, she had to find acceptance.

0:20:58.840 --> 0:21:03.240
<v Speaker 1>He's gone. It is what it is. I can't change it.

0:21:04.080 --> 0:21:06.760
<v Speaker 2>For the first month after Dan's death, it was hard

0:21:06.840 --> 0:21:10.000
<v Speaker 2>for Sidney to get out of bed. One day, one

0:21:10.040 --> 0:21:13.399
<v Speaker 2>of Sydney's close friends, Peter, reached out to her. His

0:21:13.440 --> 0:21:16.679
<v Speaker 2>whole family was going on a tropical vacation and he

0:21:16.720 --> 0:21:18.280
<v Speaker 2>wanted her to come with them.

0:21:18.680 --> 0:21:22.080
<v Speaker 1>He said, you need to get out of here, and

0:21:22.440 --> 0:21:27.159
<v Speaker 1>maybe getting away would help mend my broken heart a

0:21:27.240 --> 0:21:27.760
<v Speaker 1>little bit.

0:21:28.760 --> 0:21:32.480
<v Speaker 2>Sidney decided to go on the trip. While the rest

0:21:32.480 --> 0:21:35.919
<v Speaker 2>of the group went on excursions, Sydney stayed behind and

0:21:36.000 --> 0:21:37.480
<v Speaker 2>laid by the pool by herself.

0:21:38.640 --> 0:21:42.040
<v Speaker 1>I remember screaming up in the sky, going, God, why

0:21:42.040 --> 0:21:45.639
<v Speaker 1>did you do this? Please? I have to get past

0:21:45.680 --> 0:21:46.760
<v Speaker 1>this and what do I do?

0:21:47.880 --> 0:21:51.200
<v Speaker 2>It felt good to get some emotion out. That week

0:21:51.240 --> 0:21:54.560
<v Speaker 2>gave Sydney the space to begin to process Dan's death.

0:21:56.560 --> 0:22:00.600
<v Speaker 2>Sidney wanted to try and visit Dan's grave on She

0:22:00.720 --> 0:22:03.320
<v Speaker 2>asked his brother about it, but he gave her a

0:22:03.440 --> 0:22:04.600
<v Speaker 2>complicated answer.

0:22:05.280 --> 0:22:09.560
<v Speaker 1>He gave me this long explanation of it was in

0:22:09.600 --> 0:22:14.600
<v Speaker 1>some family grave out in the forest, and there was

0:22:14.640 --> 0:22:20.399
<v Speaker 1>a private gate to go through. It just sounded so strange.

0:22:20.440 --> 0:22:23.920
<v Speaker 2>Talking to Dan's family was hard. It often left her

0:22:23.960 --> 0:22:29.000
<v Speaker 2>with more questions than answers. Eventually she stopped reaching out.

0:22:29.760 --> 0:22:32.720
<v Speaker 1>I decided that I would try and go on with

0:22:32.840 --> 0:22:35.520
<v Speaker 1>my life, even though it was very hard.

0:22:36.359 --> 0:22:40.240
<v Speaker 2>Sidney thought that with time life without Dan would get easier.

0:22:40.880 --> 0:22:44.520
<v Speaker 2>But a whole year went by, and as the seasons passed,

0:22:45.080 --> 0:22:48.840
<v Speaker 2>Sidney was still struggling to move on. It was hard

0:22:48.880 --> 0:22:52.200
<v Speaker 2>to find any closure with how suddenly Dan had died.

0:22:53.119 --> 0:22:56.159
<v Speaker 2>She had never gotten to say goodbye. There was so

0:22:56.359 --> 0:23:00.600
<v Speaker 2>much left unseat. Her friend Peter told told her about

0:23:00.600 --> 0:23:03.439
<v Speaker 2>a strategy that helped him get through hard times in

0:23:03.480 --> 0:23:04.120
<v Speaker 2>his own life.

0:23:05.600 --> 0:23:10.639
<v Speaker 1>When things really get hard or you're facing something really difficult,

0:23:11.359 --> 0:23:15.120
<v Speaker 1>throw it out to the universe, and the universe will

0:23:15.200 --> 0:23:20.720
<v Speaker 1>somehow take care of you. And I always thought, yeah,

0:23:20.800 --> 0:23:21.439
<v Speaker 1>write whatever.

0:23:23.880 --> 0:23:28.240
<v Speaker 2>Sydney was skeptical, but Peter wasn't kidding. He suggested she

0:23:28.359 --> 0:23:30.960
<v Speaker 2>write everything she wished she could say to Dan in

0:23:31.000 --> 0:23:34.080
<v Speaker 2>a letter to him. It might help her process her

0:23:34.080 --> 0:23:37.560
<v Speaker 2>feelings and maybe get some small sense of closure.

0:23:38.680 --> 0:23:41.920
<v Speaker 1>I was having such a hard time getting past everything,

0:23:43.040 --> 0:23:46.040
<v Speaker 1>so I thought, you know what, what would it hurt?

0:23:47.000 --> 0:23:48.640
<v Speaker 1>What would it hurt to do this? And I thought,

0:23:48.640 --> 0:23:51.600
<v Speaker 1>but how do I do it? And then I realized

0:23:51.640 --> 0:23:56.240
<v Speaker 1>I still had his email address, So I thought, okay,

0:23:57.240 --> 0:23:58.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to try this.

0:24:00.640 --> 0:24:03.000
<v Speaker 2>So she grabbed her laptop and got set up at

0:24:03.000 --> 0:24:06.600
<v Speaker 2>her kitchen counter, and then she began to write.

0:24:08.840 --> 0:24:13.240
<v Speaker 1>Dan, I really still love you and I miss you.

0:24:14.160 --> 0:24:17.800
<v Speaker 1>I know you are gone, but I just want you

0:24:17.840 --> 0:24:21.240
<v Speaker 1>to know I love you, I will always love you,

0:24:21.800 --> 0:24:26.040
<v Speaker 1>I will never forget you. My heart is broken, it

0:24:26.080 --> 0:24:31.080
<v Speaker 1>will always be broken. Wherever you are in the universe.

0:24:31.800 --> 0:24:35.199
<v Speaker 1>I hope you are well taken care of. I just

0:24:35.359 --> 0:24:39.679
<v Speaker 1>hope that your soul is happy, and just know that

0:24:40.480 --> 0:24:46.400
<v Speaker 1>your heart will be with mine forever. After I composed it,

0:24:46.400 --> 0:24:49.080
<v Speaker 1>it took me a minute to hit send, and I thought,

0:24:49.240 --> 0:24:54.600
<v Speaker 1>is this really ridiculous? And I thought, no, I'm going

0:24:54.640 --> 0:24:59.000
<v Speaker 1>to try it. And when I hit send, I just

0:24:59.240 --> 0:25:05.040
<v Speaker 1>felt bad. It was amazing. It felt like a huge

0:25:05.760 --> 0:25:11.800
<v Speaker 1>brick was lifted from my body, Like wow, this really worked.

0:25:12.440 --> 0:25:15.520
<v Speaker 2>She felt a sense of lightness, a closure she had

0:25:15.560 --> 0:25:19.879
<v Speaker 2>been chasing for almost a year and a half. A

0:25:19.880 --> 0:25:22.440
<v Speaker 2>few days later, Sydney was getting ready to go over

0:25:22.480 --> 0:25:23.480
<v Speaker 2>to Katie's.

0:25:23.080 --> 0:25:26.680
<v Speaker 1>House and I thought, oh, I'm going to check my

0:25:26.720 --> 0:25:31.119
<v Speaker 1>emails before I go, and all of a sudden, I

0:25:31.359 --> 0:25:35.359
<v Speaker 1>see a response from Dan's email.

0:25:37.520 --> 0:25:38.920
<v Speaker 2>Sydney did a double take.

0:25:39.600 --> 0:25:43.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, wait a minute, I can't be reading this right,

0:25:43.880 --> 0:25:50.120
<v Speaker 1>must be from his brother. So I opened it and

0:25:50.200 --> 0:25:57.080
<v Speaker 1>I began reading and it was just complete sheer shock

0:25:57.920 --> 0:26:05.000
<v Speaker 1>of horror. The very first line of this email said,

0:26:05.200 --> 0:26:11.199
<v Speaker 1>Darling Sydney, I have sinned against God, and you please

0:26:11.280 --> 0:26:14.119
<v Speaker 1>forgive me. I am not dead.

0:26:34.880 --> 0:26:38.399
<v Speaker 2>To help process her partner Dan's death, Sydney decided to

0:26:38.440 --> 0:26:40.720
<v Speaker 2>put everything she wished she could tell him in an

0:26:40.720 --> 0:26:45.040
<v Speaker 2>email as a final goodbye. She'd been dealing with thiss

0:26:45.080 --> 0:26:48.280
<v Speaker 2>grief for almost a year and a half and was

0:26:48.320 --> 0:26:52.720
<v Speaker 2>ready to move on. She wrote her message and hit send.

0:26:53.680 --> 0:26:58.199
<v Speaker 2>She finally felt a sense of closure, But then a

0:26:58.240 --> 0:27:01.439
<v Speaker 2>few days later, she was checking her email when she

0:27:01.480 --> 0:27:03.160
<v Speaker 2>saw something impossible.

0:27:04.400 --> 0:27:09.560
<v Speaker 1>Dan had responded, I'm like, wait a minute, I can't

0:27:09.560 --> 0:27:14.400
<v Speaker 1>be reading this right, must be from his brother. So

0:27:14.920 --> 0:27:19.840
<v Speaker 1>I opened it and I began reading and it was

0:27:20.080 --> 0:27:27.479
<v Speaker 1>just complete sheer shock of horror. The very first line

0:27:28.000 --> 0:27:33.399
<v Speaker 1>of this email said, Darling Sydney, I have sinned against God,

0:27:33.400 --> 0:27:38.600
<v Speaker 1>and you please forgive me. I am not dead. And

0:27:38.880 --> 0:27:41.800
<v Speaker 1>I just sat there and went, this is a joke.

0:27:42.600 --> 0:27:44.879
<v Speaker 1>This is literally a joke from somebody.

0:27:45.640 --> 0:27:50.160
<v Speaker 2>But as she kept reading, it became horrifyingly clear he

0:27:50.240 --> 0:27:54.359
<v Speaker 2>was very much alive, and he was writing with an explanation.

0:27:55.200 --> 0:27:59.199
<v Speaker 1>It continued to say, I never got divorced. I am

0:27:59.280 --> 0:28:03.520
<v Speaker 1>still married. I knew that you would never see me

0:28:04.200 --> 0:28:05.639
<v Speaker 1>if you knew I was married.

0:28:10.520 --> 0:28:13.800
<v Speaker 2>Not only had Dan's death been a lie, their life

0:28:13.800 --> 0:28:17.240
<v Speaker 2>together had been a lie too. He had been married

0:28:17.359 --> 0:28:19.800
<v Speaker 2>the entire time he was with Sydney.

0:28:20.200 --> 0:28:24.719
<v Speaker 1>And the time that we spent together, his wife was

0:28:24.880 --> 0:28:29.760
<v Speaker 1>back in the Midwest taking care of a mother that

0:28:30.000 --> 0:28:31.800
<v Speaker 1>was very, very ill.

0:28:32.640 --> 0:28:36.120
<v Speaker 2>He'd been living a double life and he couldn't keep

0:28:36.200 --> 0:28:40.719
<v Speaker 2>up both. So, according to Dan's email, his brothers stepped

0:28:40.760 --> 0:28:44.280
<v Speaker 2>in to suggest a plan to end his relationship with Sydney.

0:28:45.600 --> 0:28:48.760
<v Speaker 1>None of the family wanted him to get divorced, and

0:28:48.800 --> 0:28:52.200
<v Speaker 1>they said, well, we will come up with a plan.

0:28:53.160 --> 0:28:56.560
<v Speaker 1>And the plan was to fake his death.

0:28:58.960 --> 0:29:03.080
<v Speaker 2>Sydney stared at the email and shock. She couldn't comprehend

0:29:03.120 --> 0:29:07.120
<v Speaker 2>the words fake and death together. She thought she might

0:29:07.160 --> 0:29:07.680
<v Speaker 2>get sick.

0:29:08.680 --> 0:29:11.080
<v Speaker 1>He said, I know you didn't deserve it, but that

0:29:11.240 --> 0:29:14.760
<v Speaker 1>was the only way we knew how to end it

0:29:14.800 --> 0:29:15.120
<v Speaker 1>with me.

0:29:16.040 --> 0:29:19.400
<v Speaker 2>Sidney drove to her daughter's house in a daze.

0:29:19.680 --> 0:29:21.840
<v Speaker 1>She looked at me and said, Mom, are you okay?

0:29:21.880 --> 0:29:24.000
<v Speaker 1>And I said, you need to follow me in your

0:29:24.040 --> 0:29:26.920
<v Speaker 1>bedroom because I have something to tell you. And I

0:29:27.040 --> 0:29:29.360
<v Speaker 1>told her and she just couldn't believe it.

0:29:31.520 --> 0:29:36.200
<v Speaker 2>Under the heartbreak and confusion, there was rage. Sidney felt

0:29:36.240 --> 0:29:37.480
<v Speaker 2>deeply manipulated.

0:29:38.200 --> 0:29:43.440
<v Speaker 1>There's no words to express how horrible and deceived I felt.

0:29:44.320 --> 0:29:50.600
<v Speaker 1>How in the world could someone stoop that low and

0:29:51.320 --> 0:29:56.800
<v Speaker 1>go to that extreme. How could anyone treat anyone like that?

0:29:59.560 --> 0:30:03.560
<v Speaker 2>And this it wasn't just anyone. This was Dan, the

0:30:03.640 --> 0:30:06.600
<v Speaker 2>man who made her believe in love again, the man

0:30:06.680 --> 0:30:09.560
<v Speaker 2>that just days ago she would have done anything to

0:30:09.600 --> 0:30:14.200
<v Speaker 2>hear from again. Her head was spinning. During the year

0:30:14.280 --> 0:30:16.960
<v Speaker 2>of her life she had spent grieving Dan's death and

0:30:17.000 --> 0:30:20.240
<v Speaker 2>struggling to get out of bed, Sydney had to remind

0:30:20.280 --> 0:30:22.600
<v Speaker 2>herself that there was nothing she could have done to

0:30:22.640 --> 0:30:26.840
<v Speaker 2>prevent him from dying. But now she found out this

0:30:26.920 --> 0:30:31.080
<v Speaker 2>had all been a choice, his choice. He let her

0:30:31.080 --> 0:30:34.440
<v Speaker 2>suffer alone, and let her grieve his death while he

0:30:34.480 --> 0:30:37.520
<v Speaker 2>carried on living. And he did all of this knowing

0:30:37.640 --> 0:30:41.320
<v Speaker 2>how much loss Sydney had already endured in her lifetime.

0:30:42.400 --> 0:30:46.800
<v Speaker 1>Death is horrible. It's the worst thing that can happen

0:30:46.880 --> 0:30:51.680
<v Speaker 1>to a loved one. It sent me into despair and

0:30:51.800 --> 0:30:54.280
<v Speaker 1>loneliness and unbelievable grief.

0:30:55.240 --> 0:30:59.320
<v Speaker 2>The whole thing was horrific, But it was also ludicrous.

0:31:00.120 --> 0:31:02.960
<v Speaker 2>It was so absurd that she found herself torn between

0:31:03.080 --> 0:31:04.840
<v Speaker 2>crying and laughing.

0:31:05.760 --> 0:31:08.480
<v Speaker 1>Now of a sudden, I find out he's risen from

0:31:08.520 --> 0:31:13.640
<v Speaker 1>the dead. I mean, he couldn't just break up with me.

0:31:14.520 --> 0:31:18.880
<v Speaker 1>He had to derive this plan that broke my heart

0:31:18.920 --> 0:31:21.000
<v Speaker 1>into pieces.

0:31:21.640 --> 0:31:24.719
<v Speaker 2>She sat with everything for a few days, letting the

0:31:24.760 --> 0:31:27.280
<v Speaker 2>reality of the situation catch up with her.

0:31:28.240 --> 0:31:31.280
<v Speaker 1>I just couldn't believe it. I was horrified, I was upset,

0:31:31.360 --> 0:31:33.920
<v Speaker 1>I was angry, and I just cried.

0:31:35.120 --> 0:31:39.000
<v Speaker 2>She thought of Dan's wife and she felt horrible. She

0:31:39.080 --> 0:31:42.640
<v Speaker 2>knew this must be painful for her too. Sydney kept

0:31:42.720 --> 0:31:46.200
<v Speaker 2>rereading Dan's confession, not sure what to do next.

0:31:47.000 --> 0:31:50.480
<v Speaker 1>Do I respond? What do I do?

0:31:51.640 --> 0:31:55.400
<v Speaker 2>For three nights, Sydney lay in bed, unable to sleep.

0:31:56.040 --> 0:31:58.080
<v Speaker 1>And finally I decided to reply.

0:32:00.000 --> 0:32:03.040
<v Speaker 2>I began drapting her email, and everything she had been

0:32:03.040 --> 0:32:04.840
<v Speaker 2>feeling came pouring out of her.

0:32:05.520 --> 0:32:09.120
<v Speaker 1>Were you too cowardly just to tell me the truth?

0:32:10.400 --> 0:32:13.520
<v Speaker 1>You could have just told me the truth and that

0:32:13.680 --> 0:32:18.160
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't have hurt nearest bad. Do we even have the

0:32:18.200 --> 0:32:22.760
<v Speaker 1>slightest idea of what your charade did to me and

0:32:22.840 --> 0:32:27.200
<v Speaker 1>my daughter? Did you lie about everything you ever told me?

0:32:28.200 --> 0:32:31.840
<v Speaker 1>I pray that you did not lie about losing your grandson.

0:32:35.640 --> 0:32:38.200
<v Speaker 1>I wish I could say that I never met you,

0:32:40.200 --> 0:32:44.680
<v Speaker 1>but that wouldn't have been accurate. I'm glad we met

0:32:45.680 --> 0:32:49.000
<v Speaker 1>because I finally learned how much I was capable of

0:32:49.040 --> 0:32:55.520
<v Speaker 1>loving so completely and unconditionally and selflessly, and for that,

0:32:56.160 --> 0:32:59.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to thank you. Then I ended it.

0:33:01.800 --> 0:33:04.880
<v Speaker 2>In the months that followed, Sidney was plunged into a

0:33:04.920 --> 0:33:07.760
<v Speaker 2>new type of grief. She no longer had to face

0:33:07.840 --> 0:33:11.320
<v Speaker 2>Dan's death. She was now faced with the reality of

0:33:11.400 --> 0:33:15.360
<v Speaker 2>Dan's life and how he'd chosen to spend it.

0:33:15.360 --> 0:33:19.120
<v Speaker 1>It took me a very, very long time to get

0:33:19.200 --> 0:33:24.480
<v Speaker 1>past the anger and the hurt. I had so many

0:33:24.560 --> 0:33:30.200
<v Speaker 1>unanswered questions. I was still extremely hurt and tormented by

0:33:30.280 --> 0:33:33.560
<v Speaker 1>what Dan had revealed and what he had done to me.

0:33:34.400 --> 0:33:39.480
<v Speaker 1>So I decided one last time to reach out to Dan.

0:33:40.720 --> 0:33:45.120
<v Speaker 2>She wrote him another email, asking for a full explanation

0:33:45.480 --> 0:33:47.200
<v Speaker 2>of what he'd done.

0:33:47.440 --> 0:33:50.200
<v Speaker 1>I was writing it for myself because I was still

0:33:50.240 --> 0:33:55.760
<v Speaker 1>angry with myself for believing everything he told me and

0:33:56.560 --> 0:33:59.640
<v Speaker 1>not analyzing it any better than I did.

0:34:00.760 --> 0:34:04.200
<v Speaker 2>A few days later, Dan responded, and in his email,

0:34:04.400 --> 0:34:08.600
<v Speaker 2>he revealed that his lies extended far beyond his death

0:34:08.640 --> 0:34:10.160
<v Speaker 2>and his marriage.

0:34:10.200 --> 0:34:13.680
<v Speaker 1>He explained that he wasn't who I thought he was.

0:34:14.520 --> 0:34:20.040
<v Speaker 1>His real last name was different, he lived somewhere else

0:34:20.360 --> 0:34:24.560
<v Speaker 1>other than where he told me. He lived, his kid's

0:34:24.719 --> 0:34:29.239
<v Speaker 1>names weren't what they told me they were. Everything he

0:34:29.320 --> 0:34:32.680
<v Speaker 1>told me was a lie, except for the fact of

0:34:32.760 --> 0:34:36.480
<v Speaker 1>how he felt. He was begging me to meet him

0:34:36.680 --> 0:34:39.680
<v Speaker 1>so he could finally tell me the whole story and

0:34:39.760 --> 0:34:43.399
<v Speaker 1>tell me the truth about everything he did and why

0:34:43.440 --> 0:34:44.040
<v Speaker 1>he did it.

0:34:44.880 --> 0:34:47.920
<v Speaker 2>Sydney agreed to meet him. A few days later, he

0:34:48.000 --> 0:34:51.400
<v Speaker 2>knocked on her door, and when she saw Dan in person,

0:34:52.040 --> 0:34:56.440
<v Speaker 2>she was overwhelmed. For over a year, she wanted nothing

0:34:56.480 --> 0:35:00.520
<v Speaker 2>more than for him to miraculously reappear, to talk to

0:35:00.600 --> 0:35:01.720
<v Speaker 2>him one more time.

0:35:02.760 --> 0:35:05.760
<v Speaker 1>All the grieving, and here he is. He's back.

0:35:07.800 --> 0:35:10.440
<v Speaker 2>He said he was going to come clean and show

0:35:10.520 --> 0:35:11.400
<v Speaker 2>her everything.

0:35:12.320 --> 0:35:16.320
<v Speaker 1>He gave me a copy of his driver's license, copy

0:35:16.360 --> 0:35:19.040
<v Speaker 1>of his passport to see what his real name was,

0:35:19.400 --> 0:35:20.839
<v Speaker 1>who his kids really were.

0:35:21.600 --> 0:35:24.320
<v Speaker 2>Then Dan pulled out a stack of business cards.

0:35:25.640 --> 0:35:31.479
<v Speaker 1>He had a fake company, fake business cards, a fake name,

0:35:32.160 --> 0:35:36.960
<v Speaker 1>fake email address, fake phone number. He traveled quite a bit,

0:35:37.719 --> 0:35:40.640
<v Speaker 1>and he would give those out to women that he met.

0:35:42.800 --> 0:35:45.840
<v Speaker 2>Their airplane meet. Cute had always felt so one of

0:35:45.880 --> 0:35:50.880
<v Speaker 2>a kind. Now she saw it as part of Dan's pattern.

0:35:51.640 --> 0:35:56.920
<v Speaker 2>He had lied to so many women, But Dan insisted

0:35:57.000 --> 0:36:00.480
<v Speaker 2>with Sydney it was different when they met, it was

0:36:00.560 --> 0:36:03.880
<v Speaker 2>clear to him that what they shared was real. He

0:36:03.960 --> 0:36:07.120
<v Speaker 2>knew he shouldn't have let their relationship get as serious

0:36:07.200 --> 0:36:09.680
<v Speaker 2>as it did, but he couldn't help himself.

0:36:11.480 --> 0:36:16.000
<v Speaker 1>He had fallen in love with me and didn't know

0:36:16.040 --> 0:36:19.880
<v Speaker 1>how to get out of it. He couldn't apologize enough

0:36:20.560 --> 0:36:26.000
<v Speaker 1>and professed his love and asked if I would consider

0:36:26.080 --> 0:36:28.960
<v Speaker 1>taking him back After all.

0:36:28.840 --> 0:36:35.760
<v Speaker 2>That, Dan admitted that he'd been a coward. He knew

0:36:35.800 --> 0:36:38.520
<v Speaker 2>what he did was wrong. He had wanted to be

0:36:38.600 --> 0:36:41.640
<v Speaker 2>with Sydney all along. He just couldn't find a way

0:36:41.680 --> 0:36:44.880
<v Speaker 2>out of his marriage and his life, but now he

0:36:45.000 --> 0:36:47.720
<v Speaker 2>was ready to risk everything to chase what he really

0:36:47.760 --> 0:36:49.280
<v Speaker 2>wanted her.

0:36:50.239 --> 0:36:54.560
<v Speaker 1>Then he takes out a divorce decree and it shows

0:36:54.640 --> 0:37:01.400
<v Speaker 1>that he just filed for divorce. Filing for divorce was

0:37:01.440 --> 0:37:05.640
<v Speaker 1>his way to prove to me that it was truly

0:37:05.719 --> 0:37:10.360
<v Speaker 1>over this time. And started crying while he's telling me

0:37:10.680 --> 0:37:15.879
<v Speaker 1>how much he loved me and so sorry for deceiving

0:37:15.920 --> 0:37:19.400
<v Speaker 1>me and hurting me, and he just wasn't strong enough

0:37:20.400 --> 0:37:22.719
<v Speaker 1>to confront what he needed to do.

0:37:24.000 --> 0:37:26.719
<v Speaker 2>Dan laid everything out in front of her. He knew

0:37:26.760 --> 0:37:29.719
<v Speaker 2>his honesty would cost him, but it was worth it.

0:37:29.760 --> 0:37:33.960
<v Speaker 2>To him if Sydney would consider giving him a second chance.

0:37:34.840 --> 0:37:38.320
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know what to do. There were so many questions,

0:37:38.960 --> 0:37:41.840
<v Speaker 1>but I still I loved him. I mean I never

0:37:42.120 --> 0:37:43.800
<v Speaker 1>stopped loving him.

0:37:44.120 --> 0:37:46.680
<v Speaker 2>It felt like a miracle that Dan was sitting in

0:37:46.680 --> 0:37:49.399
<v Speaker 2>front of her at all. The thing she had mourned

0:37:49.440 --> 0:37:52.919
<v Speaker 2>for the last year was now possible, a future with Dan,

0:37:53.719 --> 0:37:57.800
<v Speaker 2>and now he wanted to start a new life with her.

0:37:58.280 --> 0:38:01.520
<v Speaker 1>I wanted what we had again because I'd never had

0:38:01.520 --> 0:38:05.480
<v Speaker 1>that before. I'd made so many mistakes in my lifetime

0:38:05.520 --> 0:38:11.120
<v Speaker 1>with relationships, nothing ever worked out, and I thought, finally,

0:38:12.320 --> 0:38:15.600
<v Speaker 1>finally it was going to be what I wanted.

0:38:19.320 --> 0:38:22.240
<v Speaker 2>Dan left her house and Sydney was left to grapple

0:38:22.360 --> 0:38:26.759
<v Speaker 2>with the strange situation she found herself in. A few

0:38:26.760 --> 0:38:27.719
<v Speaker 2>weeks later.

0:38:28.320 --> 0:38:32.239
<v Speaker 1>He showed up at my door with all his belongings

0:38:32.280 --> 0:38:38.160
<v Speaker 1>and everything and said, the divorces going forward, and she's

0:38:38.960 --> 0:38:42.400
<v Speaker 1>moved on. I've moved out of the house. Can I

0:38:42.440 --> 0:38:46.839
<v Speaker 1>stay with you? And can we try this again? And

0:38:46.920 --> 0:38:52.560
<v Speaker 1>low enfold I took him back right away.

0:38:52.880 --> 0:38:57.400
<v Speaker 2>That effortless joy Sidney always felt with Dan came flooding back.

0:38:58.360 --> 0:39:02.359
<v Speaker 1>It was like a story. But we couldn't spend enough

0:39:02.400 --> 0:39:06.600
<v Speaker 1>time together. We started traveling together. We had hiked the

0:39:06.640 --> 0:39:09.360
<v Speaker 1>Grand Canyon. It was amazing.

0:39:10.400 --> 0:39:13.839
<v Speaker 2>Despite everything Dan had done, Sydney felt like they were

0:39:13.880 --> 0:39:17.399
<v Speaker 2>on the other side. They had rebuilt the trust through

0:39:17.440 --> 0:39:21.960
<v Speaker 2>dozens of hard and honest conversations. As unusual as their

0:39:22.000 --> 0:39:26.000
<v Speaker 2>love story was. To Sydney, the relationship was stronger than ever.

0:39:26.719 --> 0:39:30.280
<v Speaker 1>We were living together. He was going through his divorce.

0:39:31.440 --> 0:39:34.560
<v Speaker 1>I knew when he was going to court. He didn't

0:39:34.640 --> 0:39:41.400
<v Speaker 1>hide anything from me. We were finally open and honest

0:39:41.560 --> 0:39:42.200
<v Speaker 1>and happy.

0:39:43.400 --> 0:39:45.840
<v Speaker 2>In September, Dan and Sydney went on a trip to

0:39:45.920 --> 0:39:49.360
<v Speaker 2>Dunali National Park in Alaska to go hiking. It was

0:39:49.400 --> 0:39:51.840
<v Speaker 2>just a few weeks before Dan's divorce was set to

0:39:51.880 --> 0:39:55.040
<v Speaker 2>be finalized, and they were looking forward to leaving that

0:39:55.160 --> 0:39:58.040
<v Speaker 2>painful chapter of their relationship behind them.

0:40:00.680 --> 0:40:04.920
<v Speaker 1>And three days before his divorce was due to be

0:40:05.000 --> 0:40:08.560
<v Speaker 1>final he came home from work and said he had

0:40:08.600 --> 0:40:15.040
<v Speaker 1>just seen as lawyer and that he had canceled the divorce.

0:40:19.200 --> 0:40:22.600
<v Speaker 2>They had just sat down for dinner together. Sydney stopped

0:40:22.600 --> 0:40:25.880
<v Speaker 2>eating and stared at Dan, stunned.

0:40:26.800 --> 0:40:30.920
<v Speaker 1>What do you mean you canceled the divorce? And he said, well,

0:40:31.200 --> 0:40:34.640
<v Speaker 1>she was going to take seventy five percent of his wealth.

0:40:36.560 --> 0:40:41.320
<v Speaker 1>He proceeded to tell me, my money is too important.

0:40:41.680 --> 0:40:47.280
<v Speaker 1>I can't lose everything I've worked for. So he informed

0:40:47.280 --> 0:40:49.640
<v Speaker 1>me that he canceled the divorce and he was moving

0:40:49.680 --> 0:40:50.160
<v Speaker 1>back home.

0:40:52.760 --> 0:40:56.040
<v Speaker 2>Dan sat calmly at the dinner table, but to Sydney

0:40:56.560 --> 0:40:59.000
<v Speaker 2>it felt like the room was spinning.

0:41:00.160 --> 0:41:03.239
<v Speaker 1>And I just sat there and I looked at him,

0:41:03.239 --> 0:41:08.239
<v Speaker 1>and I just remember saying, you're doing this to me again.

0:41:09.360 --> 0:41:16.160
<v Speaker 1>I screamed, and I said get out, and he said, well,

0:41:16.200 --> 0:41:18.080
<v Speaker 1>I'll make sure i'm out in the morning. I said, no,

0:41:18.200 --> 0:41:21.120
<v Speaker 1>you won't. You will make sure you are out now.

0:41:22.080 --> 0:41:27.080
<v Speaker 1>I never ever want to see you hear from you

0:41:28.040 --> 0:41:29.400
<v Speaker 1>repeat your name again.

0:41:30.640 --> 0:41:33.560
<v Speaker 2>Dan stood up and began collecting his things.

0:41:34.160 --> 0:41:39.200
<v Speaker 1>And he stopped and said, this isn't what I want.

0:41:39.480 --> 0:41:42.920
<v Speaker 1>And I remember just laughing in his face, going, I

0:41:43.000 --> 0:41:47.560
<v Speaker 1>don't care what you want. This is what I want,

0:41:48.440 --> 0:41:50.480
<v Speaker 1>and you are leaving now.

0:41:52.920 --> 0:41:56.280
<v Speaker 2>Dan walked out the door, and Sydney closed it behind him.

0:41:56.960 --> 0:41:59.080
<v Speaker 2>She would never open the door to him again.

0:42:00.960 --> 0:42:06.120
<v Speaker 1>I've spent the past four years getting past what happened.

0:42:07.080 --> 0:42:13.440
<v Speaker 1>I dated, I had relationships, nothing ever worked out.

0:42:14.320 --> 0:42:16.839
<v Speaker 2>But as her daughter said in her voice, memo to us.

0:42:17.600 --> 0:42:20.160
<v Speaker 2>This is a story about a woman who couldn't give

0:42:20.239 --> 0:42:20.839
<v Speaker 2>up on love.

0:42:22.840 --> 0:42:26.640
<v Speaker 1>Remember my friend. I told you about my very very

0:42:26.680 --> 0:42:27.959
<v Speaker 1>special friend.

0:42:28.640 --> 0:42:32.560
<v Speaker 2>Peter, the friend who encouraged Sydney to throw how she

0:42:32.680 --> 0:42:34.400
<v Speaker 2>was feeling out to the universe.

0:42:35.120 --> 0:42:43.160
<v Speaker 1>Well, we're together, We're actually engaged. He's absolutely amazing. I'm

0:42:43.320 --> 0:42:48.200
<v Speaker 1>very happy and I couldn't ask for anything more. There's

0:42:48.239 --> 0:42:55.080
<v Speaker 1>a bright light after this horrible story. That's him. So

0:42:55.120 --> 0:42:56.520
<v Speaker 1>he threw it out to the universe.

0:42:58.280 --> 0:43:00.239
<v Speaker 2>Maybe he was right about that strateg.

0:43:00.360 --> 0:43:06.400
<v Speaker 1>After all, my life finally turned around. Sometimes you have

0:43:06.480 --> 0:43:11.600
<v Speaker 1>to go through really bad things to really then appreciate

0:43:11.880 --> 0:43:14.800
<v Speaker 1>the best. And I have the best right now.

0:43:15.840 --> 0:43:19.000
<v Speaker 2>Sydney endured so much pain in her relationship with Dan,

0:43:19.800 --> 0:43:22.560
<v Speaker 2>but there was something she gained from the experience that

0:43:22.640 --> 0:43:24.120
<v Speaker 2>Dan can never take away.

0:43:25.000 --> 0:43:27.879
<v Speaker 1>I learned how to love and I had never learned

0:43:27.920 --> 0:43:34.680
<v Speaker 1>that before. In your darkest moments, it's amazing how strong

0:43:34.719 --> 0:43:35.560
<v Speaker 1>you can become.

0:43:37.160 --> 0:43:40.560
<v Speaker 2>We end every weekly episode with the same question, why

0:43:40.560 --> 0:43:41.800
<v Speaker 2>do you want to share your story?

0:43:43.640 --> 0:43:47.960
<v Speaker 1>I was angry at myself for a long time, and

0:43:48.520 --> 0:43:52.239
<v Speaker 1>I kept thinking, how could I have fallen for this?

0:43:52.400 --> 0:43:56.600
<v Speaker 1>Not once, but twice? Why did it happen to me,

0:43:57.760 --> 0:44:00.719
<v Speaker 1>and the only answer I had was that I fell

0:44:00.760 --> 0:44:05.839
<v Speaker 1>in love with him. I just wanted to believe. I

0:44:05.880 --> 0:44:11.160
<v Speaker 1>wanted to trust. None of us are stupid. We're all

0:44:11.280 --> 0:44:16.600
<v Speaker 1>smart people, and we got to quit telling ourselves we're

0:44:16.680 --> 0:44:24.560
<v Speaker 1>not when things like this happen. All I did was

0:44:24.680 --> 0:44:30.560
<v Speaker 1>want to love someone.

0:44:30.840 --> 0:44:33.279
<v Speaker 2>On the next episode of Betrayal Weekly.

0:44:34.800 --> 0:44:37.880
<v Speaker 3>I don't know this person. What I had in my

0:44:37.960 --> 0:44:41.640
<v Speaker 3>mind is not true. He's not the person I thought

0:44:41.640 --> 0:44:45.560
<v Speaker 3>he was. I have no idea what he was capable

0:44:45.600 --> 0:44:46.040
<v Speaker 3>of doing.

0:44:52.680 --> 0:44:55.360
<v Speaker 2>If you'd like to share your story on Betrayal, please

0:44:55.400 --> 0:45:00.839
<v Speaker 2>email Betrayalpod at gmail dot com. That is Betrayal Pod

0:45:01.200 --> 0:45:04.960
<v Speaker 2>at gmail dot com. Please note that we are not

0:45:05.120 --> 0:45:09.120
<v Speaker 2>a mental health organization. If you are in crisis or

0:45:09.239 --> 0:45:13.720
<v Speaker 2>currently experiencing domestic violence, we encourage you to seek local

0:45:13.800 --> 0:45:18.080
<v Speaker 2>help or dial nine to one one. Please contact organizations

0:45:18.120 --> 0:45:22.240
<v Speaker 2>that offer immediate support. In our show notes, we've included

0:45:22.239 --> 0:45:26.160
<v Speaker 2>a list of US based resources. You can follow us

0:45:26.160 --> 0:45:29.520
<v Speaker 2>on Instagram at Betrayal Pod or find me at It's

0:45:29.560 --> 0:45:33.719
<v Speaker 2>Andrea Gunning. To access our newsletter and additional content, and

0:45:33.800 --> 0:45:37.239
<v Speaker 2>to connect with the Betrayal community, join our substack at

0:45:37.400 --> 0:45:41.480
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0:45:41.760 --> 0:45:44.279
<v Speaker 2>One way to show support is by subscribing to our

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0:45:47.520 --> 0:45:51.720
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0:45:51.800 --> 0:45:54.840
<v Speaker 2>thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a

0:45:54.880 --> 0:45:58.399
<v Speaker 2>production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group

0:45:58.480 --> 0:46:02.720
<v Speaker 2>and partnership with iheartpod Casts. The show is executive produced

0:46:02.719 --> 0:46:06.200
<v Speaker 2>by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason, hosted and produced by

0:46:06.280 --> 0:46:10.359
<v Speaker 2>me Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Olivia Hewitt. Our

0:46:10.400 --> 0:46:14.560
<v Speaker 2>story editor is Monique Leboard, also produced by Ben Fetterman.

0:46:15.080 --> 0:46:20.319
<v Speaker 2>Our associate producer is Leah Jablo. Production management by Kristin Melcurie,

0:46:20.800 --> 0:46:24.640
<v Speaker 2>Booking support by Curry Richmond. Our iHeart team is Ali

0:46:24.719 --> 0:46:28.799
<v Speaker 2>Perry and Jessica Crincheck. Audio editing by Tanner Robbins, with

0:46:28.840 --> 0:46:32.680
<v Speaker 2>additional editing and mixing by Matt Albecchio. A Trayals theme

0:46:32.760 --> 0:46:37.160
<v Speaker 2>composed by Oliver Bains. Music library provided by my Music

0:46:37.800 --> 0:46:41.080
<v Speaker 2>and For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,

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<v Speaker 2>Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.