Speaker 1: How in the world could someone stoop that low and
Speaker 1: go to that extreme? Were you too cowardly? Just tell
Speaker 1: me the truth.
Speaker 2: I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal, a show about
Speaker 2: the people we trust the most and the deceptions that
Speaker 2: change everything. A little while ago, a woman wrote into
Speaker 2: our show to share a story of betrayal. We're gonna
Speaker 2: call her Katie. She attached a voice memo to her email.
Speaker 2: Here's that voice memo.
Speaker 1: This is the story of a woman who couldn't give
Speaker 1: up on love.
Speaker 2: My mom has not been the luckiest in love. This
Speaker 2: is a story about my mom. After hearing this, we
Speaker 2: got on the phone with Katie and her mom, who
Speaker 2: were going to call Sydney. This is her story. Sydney
Speaker 2: grew up in the Midwest with her parents and brothers.
Speaker 2: From a young age, her dad introduced the kids to
Speaker 2: a life of adventure.
Speaker 1: He was a private pilot, and I would go out
Speaker 1: to the airport with him and we would fly all over.
Speaker 2: Sydney, her brothers, and her mom would pack into her
Speaker 2: dad's tiny airplane and hold on tight as it lifted
Speaker 2: off into the sky. Sydney loved flying.
Speaker 1: It felt like you were far above everything. You were
Speaker 1: in the sky with all the clouds, and my father
Speaker 1: was in complete control, and so the trust I had
Speaker 1: was just beyond belief that I love looking down at
Speaker 1: the earth and all the glory that's down there, and
Speaker 1: you're just amazed.
Speaker 2: They were a work hard, play hard kind of family.
Speaker 2: After school and on weekends, Sydney worked at her family's restaurant.
Speaker 1: At fifty cents an hour.
Speaker 2: They served hamburgers and fries. The restaurant was painted white,
Speaker 2: with barstools lined up in a neat row.
Speaker 1: You had an awning where people pulled up in their
Speaker 1: cars and then some would go out and take their order.
Speaker 1: They would fix it, and then you'd go out and
Speaker 1: put a tray on their car.
Speaker 2: It was a picturesque childhood, but after graduating high school,
Speaker 2: Sydney's young adult life was marked by a lot of hardship.
Speaker 2: She married young and got pregnant with her first son,
Speaker 2: but her entrance into motherhood was immensely challenging. Her son
Speaker 2: was born with a terminal illness.
Speaker 1: I lost my son when he was two, and then
Speaker 1: I had gotten pregnant again and lost a stillborn.
Speaker 2: Sydney dealt with waves of overlapping grief after losing her children,
Speaker 2: it was an incredibly difficult time. In the years that followed,
Speaker 2: her marriage ended as well. When she was ready, Sydney
Speaker 2: had other relationships. She remarried and gave birth to her daughter, Katie,
Speaker 2: but that marriage also ended in divorce. After dealing with
Speaker 2: all shades of heartbreak, Sydney decided to stay single. She
Speaker 2: thought maybe a true deep romance just wasn't in the
Speaker 2: cards for her, and besides, her life had plenty of
Speaker 2: meaning and beauty without romantic love.
Speaker 1: I was very busy because I was traveling a lot.
Speaker 1: I had great friends. We would always do things together. Friendship,
Speaker 1: to me is extremely important and I value it very highly.
Speaker 2: She also spent as much time as she could with
Speaker 2: her daughter, Katie.
Speaker 1: I have the most amazing daughter. We're very very close.
Speaker 2: Katie's an adult now with a daughter of her own.
Speaker 1: My daughter and my granddaughter are my whole life. I
Speaker 1: have the most amazing granddaughter. She's absolutely adorable and just
Speaker 1: as sweet as can be.
Speaker 2: When Sydney retired, she began traveling more often to visit
Speaker 2: her daughter and granddaughter. One day, she was boarding a
Speaker 2: flight to visit them, she found her seat and got comfortable.
Speaker 1: I tend to read when I'm on a flight, and
Speaker 1: I started to take out a book.
Speaker 2: That's when the man sitting next to her struck up
Speaker 2: a conversation. He asked she was reading.
Speaker 1: He started talking to me, and I was immediately intrigued
Speaker 1: by his mannerism and his kindness.
Speaker 2: His name was Dan. As the flight went on, the
Speaker 2: two kept chatting.
Speaker 1: He spoke so sweetly, and our conversation was lighthearted and humorous.
Speaker 2: Before long, Sidney forgot about her book altogether.
Speaker 1: We talked about just a little bit of everything, and
Speaker 1: he just seemed so kind and so forthcoming. And as
Speaker 1: we got closer to landing, he asked if I would
Speaker 1: mind if I gave him my phone number, because he
Speaker 1: would like to stay in touch with me.
Speaker 2: Sydney gave him her number. She wasn't sure if she'd
Speaker 2: ever hear from him again, maybe this was just a
Speaker 2: one time, serendipitous connection.
Speaker 1: But then he contacted me as soon as I got
Speaker 1: back home, and we talked several times on the phone.
Speaker 1: We would have these hour two hour long conversations that
Speaker 1: just flowed so easily.
Speaker 2: Dan shared that he was also divorced.
Speaker 1: He said that his wife had left him eighteen months prior.
Speaker 1: Then it got into more serious discussions about he had
Speaker 1: lost a grandchild and was going through that grieving process.
Speaker 1: I shared that I also had some tragedy in my
Speaker 1: life than that. Years ago, I had lost a child myself.
Speaker 2: The death of her children was not something she told
Speaker 2: many people about, but she felt safe opening up to Dan.
Speaker 1: I shared it because I wanted him to know that
Speaker 1: I understood exactly how he felt. I wasn't just saying
Speaker 1: that I understood, was coming from the deepest part of
Speaker 1: my soul, in my heart, that I do understand, and
Speaker 1: you can trust me with that.
Speaker 2: Dan held everything she shared with care. The parallels in
Speaker 2: their grief brought them closer together.
Speaker 1: All of a sudden, we felt this bond. We're sharing
Speaker 1: things that are the utmost deepest issues in our lives,
Speaker 1: and we're becoming very close within a very short period
Speaker 1: of time.
Speaker 2: When they met on the plane, Sydney was preparing to
Speaker 2: move closer to her daughter and granddaughter. It turned out
Speaker 2: Dan lived in the area too, so once Sydney got
Speaker 2: settled into her new place, Dan called he wanted to
Speaker 2: come see her.
Speaker 1: He came to the condo that I was renting, and
Speaker 1: I remember opening the door, and the look on his
Speaker 1: face was like, Oh wow, Wow, I can't believe I'm
Speaker 1: actually standing in front of him. We're just not talking
Speaker 1: on the phone anymore. This is real.
Speaker 2: She welcomed him in the chemistry they had on the plane,
Speaker 2: came rushing back.
Speaker 1: We just talked and talked and talked, and then we
Speaker 1: went out to grab something to eat, and then he
Speaker 1: came back the next morning, and the same thing happened.
Speaker 2: The next two days were like an extended first date.
Speaker 1: He'd come over in the morning and we would spend
Speaker 1: the entire day together. We did a lot of outings
Speaker 1: together and dinners together and walking in the park, and
Speaker 1: then he would leave that evening.
Speaker 2: And after their marathon date wrapped up, they immediately started
Speaker 2: planning the next one.
Speaker 1: We started seeing each other more and more and more.
Speaker 2: They were eager to learn everything they could about each other.
Speaker 2: Soon they knew the details, big and small, of each
Speaker 2: other lives.
Speaker 1: He was an engineer, He was outgoing, He loved to laugh,
Speaker 1: he joked a lot. He was very gentle, very engaging,
Speaker 1: would listen, I mean intently to everything I said and
Speaker 1: took it to heart and made me feel very, very wanted.
Speaker 2: Dan took Sydney completely by surprise. She had given up
Speaker 2: on finding a connection like this.
Speaker 1: I have to say that was a new feeling for me.
Speaker 2: It felt like life was giving her one more shot
Speaker 2: at love, one more shot at being truly happy with someone.
Speaker 2: But there were still challenges in their relationship. Dan was
Speaker 2: really struggling with the grief of losing his grandchild and
Speaker 2: decided to see a counselor for support.
Speaker 1: He was telling the count the hard time he was
Speaker 1: having getting past this event, and then he mentioned, however,
Speaker 1: I met someone and I'm really excited and I'd like
Speaker 1: to see where this goes. And the counselor said, well,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, you're in the middle of a grieving process.
Speaker 1: I don't think this is the best time for you
Speaker 1: to get involved with a new relationship. I believe you
Speaker 1: need to work through the steps of grieving before you
Speaker 1: decide to move on. So let's do that first and
Speaker 1: just put it on pause.
Speaker 2: It struck Sidney as an overstep from the counselor, but
Speaker 2: she knew that Dan was deeply affected by his grandchild's death.
Speaker 2: Maybe it was weighing on him more than she knew,
Speaker 2: so she was understanding.
Speaker 1: I told him, the most important thing is for you
Speaker 1: to feel better and to get through this very difficult
Speaker 1: time in your life. So I will step aside.
Speaker 2: So Dan and Sydney decided to take a break.
Speaker 1: It was difficult. I missed him. We didn't talk at all.
Speaker 2: Sydney tried going on a first date with someone new,
Speaker 2: but it wasn't the same as it was with Dan.
Speaker 2: After a few weeks, Dan called her out of.
Speaker 1: The blue and he said, I desperately need to talk
Speaker 1: to you. And I said, are you sure about that?
Speaker 1: I thought we weren't supposed to see each other, and
Speaker 1: he said, it's about that. I can't do it. I
Speaker 1: miss you too much. I don't care what the counselor says.
Speaker 1: I'm ready. I want to start seeing you again.
Speaker 2: The two picked up right where they left off.
Speaker 1: It was totally blissful. We just had the best time.
Speaker 1: It was just laughter and fun and we got along
Speaker 1: so beautifully and never ever once had a disagreement or
Speaker 1: an argument or anything. It was just wonderful.
Speaker 2: The weeks turned two months, their relationship became deeper, more stable,
Speaker 2: and more committed.
Speaker 1: We were sitting in a restaurant over dinner and he
Speaker 1: just looked at me and said, I want to be
Speaker 1: together forever. I just believe that we were meant to
Speaker 1: be together. I had fallen very hard for him, and
Speaker 1: I remember being extremely happy.
Speaker 2: Sydney introduced Dan to her daughter, Katie.
Speaker 1: My daughter really liked him as well, and I remember
Speaker 1: I had to go into the hospital for some surgery
Speaker 1: and he came to the hospital and he sat with
Speaker 1: my daughter and they spent the time together waiting for
Speaker 1: me in the waiting room. They just really hit it
Speaker 1: off and she really liked him.
Speaker 2: As Sydney recovered from surgery, Dan was facing some health
Speaker 2: challenges of his own. He had high cholesterol and saw
Speaker 2: a cardiologist regularly. One day, he opened up to Sydney
Speaker 2: about his doctor's concerns.
Speaker 1: The doctor had found an irregular beat in his heart,
Speaker 1: but they didn't think it was anything drastic, and they
Speaker 1: said that he had had a little bit more plaque
Speaker 1: around his heart, but they would raise his medication and
Speaker 1: he should be fine.
Speaker 2: Dan didn't seem worried, so Sydney tried not to worry
Speaker 2: too much either. A week later, Dan made plans to
Speaker 2: visit his brothers.
Speaker 1: They were going to get together to discuss his mother's
Speaker 1: will before she passed away, so they wouldn't have to
Speaker 1: worry about anything.
Speaker 2: Dan would drive a few hours away to meet up
Speaker 2: with them and stay for the weekend. Before he headed out,
Speaker 2: he met Sydney for a lunch date.
Speaker 1: I wished him a great trip, and he said, I
Speaker 1: will call you every day day let you know everything goes.
Speaker 2: A few hours later, Sydney's phone rang.
Speaker 1: It was Dan. He had stopped for gas and he
Speaker 1: already missed me, and then he called me when he
Speaker 1: got down there.
Speaker 2: It was sweet to see how much Dan missed her.
Speaker 2: After only a few hours, Sydney went about her day
Speaker 2: as usual. At this point, Sydney and Dan had been
Speaker 2: talking every day for five months. He always texted or
Speaker 2: called her to sa good night, but on this night
Speaker 2: she didn't hear from him.
Speaker 1: I tried texting, he didn't answer. I tried calling, he
Speaker 1: didn't answer.
Speaker 2: Sydney went to sleep, feeling anxious. When she woke up
Speaker 2: the next morning, Dan still hadn't reached out. She checked
Speaker 2: her phone all morning and afternoon, but still nothing.
Speaker 1: The last time I talked to him, he said he
Speaker 1: had a d safely and I thought, this is so strange.
Speaker 1: Why would he not contact me, and then I started
Speaker 1: worrying what happened. Something must have happened. Did he have
Speaker 1: an automobile accident? And you start making up stories?
Speaker 2: The whole weekend passed without any word from Dan. She
Speaker 2: started to wonder was this his way of breaking up
Speaker 2: with her.
Speaker 1: I've heard of people ending relationships kind of like that
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, but not him. I trusted him
Speaker 1: way too much.
Speaker 2: The silence went on for a week and a half.
Speaker 2: She didn't have any way of contacting his family. She
Speaker 2: just hoped that if something had happened to Dan, they
Speaker 2: would find a way to reach her.
Speaker 1: I was going out of my mind not knowing what happened.
Speaker 2: One afternoon, Sydney was getting ready to spend time with
Speaker 2: her daughter when she heard her phone buzz. Her heart leapt,
Speaker 2: hoping it might be Dan. Instead, it was a text
Speaker 2: from a number she didn't recognize. She started reading It
Speaker 2: was Dan's brother. She'd never met him before, but he
Speaker 2: was writing with bad news.
Speaker 1: He said that he was so sorry to have to
Speaker 1: tell me this, but Dan had a heart attack and
Speaker 1: he passed away.
Speaker 2: Sidney's boyfriend, Dan was on a trip with his brothers
Speaker 2: when he suddenly stopped texting and called her back. Sydney
Speaker 2: didn't hear from him for days and was beginning to panic.
Speaker 2: Then she got a text from his.
Speaker 1: Brother saying that he was so sorry to have to
Speaker 1: tell me this, but Dan had a heart attack and
Speaker 1: he passed away.
Speaker 2: Dan's brother explained that it happened suddenly one night on
Speaker 2: their trip, when Dan was heading to bed. He said
Speaker 2: good night to his brother's and went upstairs.
Speaker 1: And that was the last that he heard until he
Speaker 1: heard a big crash upstairs where he fell, and when
Speaker 1: he ran upstairs, he called nine one one, tried to
Speaker 1: revive his brother and couldn't revive him, and by the
Speaker 1: time they got to the hospital he passed on the way.
Speaker 2: He said that in the first few days following Dan's death,
Speaker 2: he hadn't been able to find Dan's phone. Without it,
Speaker 2: he didn't have Sydney's number, so we had no way
Speaker 2: to contact her. He felt horrible that it had taken
Speaker 2: so long to reach her.
Speaker 1: His brother said, I know how hard this has to
Speaker 1: be on you. Between my mother and his kids, everybody
Speaker 1: is just devastated. I'm sorry that we couldn't reach out
Speaker 1: to you as soon as it happened, but like I said,
Speaker 1: we couldn't find his phone.
Speaker 2: That's where his message ended. Sydney broke down.
Speaker 1: I was a mess. I was crying. I was out
Speaker 1: of my mind.
Speaker 2: Then her daughter Katie showed up at her house. They
Speaker 2: were supposed to spend the afternoon together.
Speaker 1: She walked in and I just screamed. I told her
Speaker 1: what happened, and she dropped everything and just came to
Speaker 1: me and tried to comfort me the best she could.
Speaker 1: But she was upset too, because she really liked him.
Speaker 2: A heart attack. Sydney remembered Dan's cardiologist concerns, but she
Speaker 2: had no idea things were this serious.
Speaker 1: I was just devastated, absolutely devastated.
Speaker 2: The next few days were dark, especially when Sydney found
Speaker 2: out the family had already held a ceremony and buried Dan.
Speaker 2: In the family plot, Kitty also reached out to Dan's brother,
Speaker 2: and he did his best to be there for her
Speaker 2: and Sydney as he dealt with his own grief.
Speaker 1: His brother responded to my daughter saying, I'm so sorry
Speaker 1: this has happened, and I know how much he loved
Speaker 1: your mother, and he told me knew how much he
Speaker 1: loved me, and he spoke about me all the time.
Speaker 2: Hearing Dan's brother talk about him in past tense made
Speaker 2: the reality sink in. Dan wasn't coming back.
Speaker 1: I didn't know what to do. I was just I
Speaker 1: was frantic.
Speaker 2: When Dan had been by her side, the world felt
Speaker 2: bright and full of possibility. Now everything felt heavy. She
Speaker 2: missed Dan's laugh, their long conversations, their shared hikes. Most
Speaker 2: of all, she just missed him.
Speaker 1: It was horrible. I'm not a person that gets depressed.
Speaker 1: I've never been depressed in my life, but I felt
Speaker 1: like I was going to get to that point.
Speaker 2: She turned over the details again and again.
Speaker 1: Things didn't add up in my brain. I kept thinking,
Speaker 1: how could this have happened? It doesn't make sense.
Speaker 2: But as time went on, she had to find acceptance.
Speaker 1: He's gone. It is what it is. I can't change it.
Speaker 2: For the first month after Dan's death, it was hard
Speaker 2: for Sidney to get out of bed. One day, one
Speaker 2: of Sydney's close friends, Peter, reached out to her. His
Speaker 2: whole family was going on a tropical vacation and he
Speaker 2: wanted her to come with them.
Speaker 1: He said, you need to get out of here, and
Speaker 1: maybe getting away would help mend my broken heart a
Speaker 1: little bit.
Speaker 2: Sidney decided to go on the trip. While the rest
Speaker 2: of the group went on excursions, Sydney stayed behind and
Speaker 2: laid by the pool by herself.
Speaker 1: I remember screaming up in the sky, going, God, why
Speaker 1: did you do this? Please? I have to get past
Speaker 1: this and what do I do?
Speaker 2: It felt good to get some emotion out. That week
Speaker 2: gave Sydney the space to begin to process Dan's death.
Speaker 2: Sidney wanted to try and visit Dan's grave on She
Speaker 2: asked his brother about it, but he gave her a
Speaker 2: complicated answer.
Speaker 1: He gave me this long explanation of it was in
Speaker 1: some family grave out in the forest, and there was
Speaker 1: a private gate to go through. It just sounded so strange.
Speaker 2: Talking to Dan's family was hard. It often left her
Speaker 2: with more questions than answers. Eventually she stopped reaching out.
Speaker 1: I decided that I would try and go on with
Speaker 1: my life, even though it was very hard.
Speaker 2: Sidney thought that with time life without Dan would get easier.
Speaker 2: But a whole year went by, and as the seasons passed,
Speaker 2: Sidney was still struggling to move on. It was hard
Speaker 2: to find any closure with how suddenly Dan had died.
Speaker 2: She had never gotten to say goodbye. There was so
Speaker 2: much left unseat. Her friend Peter told told her about
Speaker 2: a strategy that helped him get through hard times in
Speaker 2: his own life.
Speaker 1: When things really get hard or you're facing something really difficult,
Speaker 1: throw it out to the universe, and the universe will
Speaker 1: somehow take care of you. And I always thought, yeah,
Speaker 1: write whatever.
Speaker 2: Sydney was skeptical, but Peter wasn't kidding. He suggested she
Speaker 2: write everything she wished she could say to Dan in
Speaker 2: a letter to him. It might help her process her
Speaker 2: feelings and maybe get some small sense of closure.
Speaker 1: I was having such a hard time getting past everything,
Speaker 1: so I thought, you know what, what would it hurt?
Speaker 1: What would it hurt to do this? And I thought,
Speaker 1: but how do I do it? And then I realized
Speaker 1: I still had his email address, So I thought, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm going to try this.
Speaker 2: So she grabbed her laptop and got set up at
Speaker 2: her kitchen counter, and then she began to write.
Speaker 1: Dan, I really still love you and I miss you.
Speaker 1: I know you are gone, but I just want you
Speaker 1: to know I love you, I will always love you,
Speaker 1: I will never forget you. My heart is broken, it
Speaker 1: will always be broken. Wherever you are in the universe.
Speaker 1: I hope you are well taken care of. I just
Speaker 1: hope that your soul is happy, and just know that
Speaker 1: your heart will be with mine forever. After I composed it,
Speaker 1: it took me a minute to hit send, and I thought,
Speaker 1: is this really ridiculous? And I thought, no, I'm going
Speaker 1: to try it. And when I hit send, I just
Speaker 1: felt bad. It was amazing. It felt like a huge
Speaker 1: brick was lifted from my body, Like wow, this really worked.
Speaker 2: She felt a sense of lightness, a closure she had
Speaker 2: been chasing for almost a year and a half. A
Speaker 2: few days later, Sydney was getting ready to go over
Speaker 2: to Katie's.
Speaker 1: House and I thought, oh, I'm going to check my
Speaker 1: emails before I go, and all of a sudden, I
Speaker 1: see a response from Dan's email.
Speaker 2: Sydney did a double take.
Speaker 1: I'm like, wait a minute, I can't be reading this right,
Speaker 1: must be from his brother. So I opened it and
Speaker 1: I began reading and it was just complete sheer shock
Speaker 1: of horror. The very first line of this email said,
Speaker 1: Darling Sydney, I have sinned against God, and you please
Speaker 1: forgive me. I am not dead.
Speaker 2: To help process her partner Dan's death, Sydney decided to
Speaker 2: put everything she wished she could tell him in an
Speaker 2: email as a final goodbye. She'd been dealing with thiss
Speaker 2: grief for almost a year and a half and was
Speaker 2: ready to move on. She wrote her message and hit send.
Speaker 2: She finally felt a sense of closure, But then a
Speaker 2: few days later, she was checking her email when she
Speaker 2: saw something impossible.
Speaker 1: Dan had responded, I'm like, wait a minute, I can't
Speaker 1: be reading this right, must be from his brother. So
Speaker 1: I opened it and I began reading and it was
Speaker 1: just complete sheer shock of horror. The very first line
Speaker 1: of this email said, Darling Sydney, I have sinned against God,
Speaker 1: and you please forgive me. I am not dead. And
Speaker 1: I just sat there and went, this is a joke.
Speaker 1: This is literally a joke from somebody.
Speaker 2: But as she kept reading, it became horrifyingly clear he
Speaker 2: was very much alive, and he was writing with an explanation.
Speaker 1: It continued to say, I never got divorced. I am
Speaker 1: still married. I knew that you would never see me
Speaker 1: if you knew I was married.
Speaker 2: Not only had Dan's death been a lie, their life
Speaker 2: together had been a lie too. He had been married
Speaker 2: the entire time he was with Sydney.
Speaker 1: And the time that we spent together, his wife was
Speaker 1: back in the Midwest taking care of a mother that
Speaker 1: was very, very ill.
Speaker 2: He'd been living a double life and he couldn't keep
Speaker 2: up both. So, according to Dan's email, his brothers stepped
Speaker 2: in to suggest a plan to end his relationship with Sydney.
Speaker 1: None of the family wanted him to get divorced, and
Speaker 1: they said, well, we will come up with a plan.
Speaker 1: And the plan was to fake his death.
Speaker 2: Sydney stared at the email and shock. She couldn't comprehend
Speaker 2: the words fake and death together. She thought she might
Speaker 2: get sick.
Speaker 1: He said, I know you didn't deserve it, but that
Speaker 1: was the only way we knew how to end it
Speaker 1: with me.
Speaker 2: Sidney drove to her daughter's house in a daze.
Speaker 1: She looked at me and said, Mom, are you okay?
Speaker 1: And I said, you need to follow me in your
Speaker 1: bedroom because I have something to tell you. And I
Speaker 1: told her and she just couldn't believe it.
Speaker 2: Under the heartbreak and confusion, there was rage. Sidney felt
Speaker 2: deeply manipulated.
Speaker 1: There's no words to express how horrible and deceived I felt.
Speaker 1: How in the world could someone stoop that low and
Speaker 1: go to that extreme. How could anyone treat anyone like that?
Speaker 2: And this it wasn't just anyone. This was Dan, the
Speaker 2: man who made her believe in love again, the man
Speaker 2: that just days ago she would have done anything to
Speaker 2: hear from again. Her head was spinning. During the year
Speaker 2: of her life she had spent grieving Dan's death and
Speaker 2: struggling to get out of bed, Sydney had to remind
Speaker 2: herself that there was nothing she could have done to
Speaker 2: prevent him from dying. But now she found out this
Speaker 2: had all been a choice, his choice. He let her
Speaker 2: suffer alone, and let her grieve his death while he
Speaker 2: carried on living. And he did all of this knowing
Speaker 2: how much loss Sydney had already endured in her lifetime.
Speaker 1: Death is horrible. It's the worst thing that can happen
Speaker 1: to a loved one. It sent me into despair and
Speaker 1: loneliness and unbelievable grief.
Speaker 2: The whole thing was horrific, But it was also ludicrous.
Speaker 2: It was so absurd that she found herself torn between
Speaker 2: crying and laughing.
Speaker 1: Now of a sudden, I find out he's risen from
Speaker 1: the dead. I mean, he couldn't just break up with me.
Speaker 1: He had to derive this plan that broke my heart
Speaker 1: into pieces.
Speaker 2: She sat with everything for a few days, letting the
Speaker 2: reality of the situation catch up with her.
Speaker 1: I just couldn't believe it. I was horrified, I was upset,
Speaker 1: I was angry, and I just cried.
Speaker 2: She thought of Dan's wife and she felt horrible. She
Speaker 2: knew this must be painful for her too. Sydney kept
Speaker 2: rereading Dan's confession, not sure what to do next.
Speaker 1: Do I respond? What do I do?
Speaker 2: For three nights, Sydney lay in bed, unable to sleep.
Speaker 1: And finally I decided to reply.
Speaker 2: I began drapting her email, and everything she had been
Speaker 2: feeling came pouring out of her.
Speaker 1: Were you too cowardly just to tell me the truth?
Speaker 1: You could have just told me the truth and that
Speaker 1: wouldn't have hurt nearest bad. Do we even have the
Speaker 1: slightest idea of what your charade did to me and
Speaker 1: my daughter? Did you lie about everything you ever told me?
Speaker 1: I pray that you did not lie about losing your grandson.
Speaker 1: I wish I could say that I never met you,
Speaker 1: but that wouldn't have been accurate. I'm glad we met
Speaker 1: because I finally learned how much I was capable of
Speaker 1: loving so completely and unconditionally and selflessly, and for that,
Speaker 1: I'm going to thank you. Then I ended it.
Speaker 2: In the months that followed, Sidney was plunged into a
Speaker 2: new type of grief. She no longer had to face
Speaker 2: Dan's death. She was now faced with the reality of
Speaker 2: Dan's life and how he'd chosen to spend it.
Speaker 1: It took me a very, very long time to get
Speaker 1: past the anger and the hurt. I had so many
Speaker 1: unanswered questions. I was still extremely hurt and tormented by
Speaker 1: what Dan had revealed and what he had done to me.
Speaker 1: So I decided one last time to reach out to Dan.
Speaker 2: She wrote him another email, asking for a full explanation
Speaker 2: of what he'd done.
Speaker 1: I was writing it for myself because I was still
Speaker 1: angry with myself for believing everything he told me and
Speaker 1: not analyzing it any better than I did.
Speaker 2: A few days later, Dan responded, and in his email,
Speaker 2: he revealed that his lies extended far beyond his death
Speaker 2: and his marriage.
Speaker 1: He explained that he wasn't who I thought he was.
Speaker 1: His real last name was different, he lived somewhere else
Speaker 1: other than where he told me. He lived, his kid's
Speaker 1: names weren't what they told me they were. Everything he
Speaker 1: told me was a lie, except for the fact of
Speaker 1: how he felt. He was begging me to meet him
Speaker 1: so he could finally tell me the whole story and
Speaker 1: tell me the truth about everything he did and why
Speaker 1: he did it.
Speaker 2: Sydney agreed to meet him. A few days later, he
Speaker 2: knocked on her door, and when she saw Dan in person,
Speaker 2: she was overwhelmed. For over a year, she wanted nothing
Speaker 2: more than for him to miraculously reappear, to talk to
Speaker 2: him one more time.
Speaker 1: All the grieving, and here he is. He's back.
Speaker 2: He said he was going to come clean and show
Speaker 2: her everything.
Speaker 1: He gave me a copy of his driver's license, copy
Speaker 1: of his passport to see what his real name was,
Speaker 1: who his kids really were.
Speaker 2: Then Dan pulled out a stack of business cards.
Speaker 1: He had a fake company, fake business cards, a fake name,
Speaker 1: fake email address, fake phone number. He traveled quite a bit,
Speaker 1: and he would give those out to women that he met.
Speaker 2: Their airplane meet. Cute had always felt so one of
Speaker 2: a kind. Now she saw it as part of Dan's pattern.
Speaker 2: He had lied to so many women, But Dan insisted
Speaker 2: with Sydney it was different when they met, it was
Speaker 2: clear to him that what they shared was real. He
Speaker 2: knew he shouldn't have let their relationship get as serious
Speaker 2: as it did, but he couldn't help himself.
Speaker 1: He had fallen in love with me and didn't know
Speaker 1: how to get out of it. He couldn't apologize enough
Speaker 1: and professed his love and asked if I would consider
Speaker 1: taking him back After all.
Speaker 2: That, Dan admitted that he'd been a coward. He knew
Speaker 2: what he did was wrong. He had wanted to be
Speaker 2: with Sydney all along. He just couldn't find a way
Speaker 2: out of his marriage and his life, but now he
Speaker 2: was ready to risk everything to chase what he really
Speaker 2: wanted her.
Speaker 1: Then he takes out a divorce decree and it shows
Speaker 1: that he just filed for divorce. Filing for divorce was
Speaker 1: his way to prove to me that it was truly
Speaker 1: over this time. And started crying while he's telling me
Speaker 1: how much he loved me and so sorry for deceiving
Speaker 1: me and hurting me, and he just wasn't strong enough
Speaker 1: to confront what he needed to do.
Speaker 2: Dan laid everything out in front of her. He knew
Speaker 2: his honesty would cost him, but it was worth it.
Speaker 2: To him if Sydney would consider giving him a second chance.
Speaker 1: I didn't know what to do. There were so many questions,
Speaker 1: but I still I loved him. I mean I never
Speaker 1: stopped loving him.
Speaker 2: It felt like a miracle that Dan was sitting in
Speaker 2: front of her at all. The thing she had mourned
Speaker 2: for the last year was now possible, a future with Dan,
Speaker 2: and now he wanted to start a new life with her.
Speaker 1: I wanted what we had again because I'd never had
Speaker 1: that before. I'd made so many mistakes in my lifetime
Speaker 1: with relationships, nothing ever worked out, and I thought, finally,
Speaker 1: finally it was going to be what I wanted.
Speaker 2: Dan left her house and Sydney was left to grapple
Speaker 2: with the strange situation she found herself in. A few
Speaker 2: weeks later.
Speaker 1: He showed up at my door with all his belongings
Speaker 1: and everything and said, the divorces going forward, and she's
Speaker 1: moved on. I've moved out of the house. Can I
Speaker 1: stay with you? And can we try this again? And
Speaker 1: low enfold I took him back right away.
Speaker 2: That effortless joy Sidney always felt with Dan came flooding back.
Speaker 1: It was like a story. But we couldn't spend enough
Speaker 1: time together. We started traveling together. We had hiked the
Speaker 1: Grand Canyon. It was amazing.
Speaker 2: Despite everything Dan had done, Sydney felt like they were
Speaker 2: on the other side. They had rebuilt the trust through
Speaker 2: dozens of hard and honest conversations. As unusual as their
Speaker 2: love story was. To Sydney, the relationship was stronger than ever.
Speaker 1: We were living together. He was going through his divorce.
Speaker 1: I knew when he was going to court. He didn't
Speaker 1: hide anything from me. We were finally open and honest
Speaker 1: and happy.
Speaker 2: In September, Dan and Sydney went on a trip to
Speaker 2: Dunali National Park in Alaska to go hiking. It was
Speaker 2: just a few weeks before Dan's divorce was set to
Speaker 2: be finalized, and they were looking forward to leaving that
Speaker 2: painful chapter of their relationship behind them.
Speaker 1: And three days before his divorce was due to be
Speaker 1: final he came home from work and said he had
Speaker 1: just seen as lawyer and that he had canceled the divorce.
Speaker 2: They had just sat down for dinner together. Sydney stopped
Speaker 2: eating and stared at Dan, stunned.
Speaker 1: What do you mean you canceled the divorce? And he said, well,
Speaker 1: she was going to take seventy five percent of his wealth.
Speaker 1: He proceeded to tell me, my money is too important.
Speaker 1: I can't lose everything I've worked for. So he informed
Speaker 1: me that he canceled the divorce and he was moving
Speaker 1: back home.
Speaker 2: Dan sat calmly at the dinner table, but to Sydney
Speaker 2: it felt like the room was spinning.
Speaker 1: And I just sat there and I looked at him,
Speaker 1: and I just remember saying, you're doing this to me again.
Speaker 1: I screamed, and I said get out, and he said, well,
Speaker 1: I'll make sure i'm out in the morning. I said, no,
Speaker 1: you won't. You will make sure you are out now.
Speaker 1: I never ever want to see you hear from you
Speaker 1: repeat your name again.
Speaker 2: Dan stood up and began collecting his things.
Speaker 1: And he stopped and said, this isn't what I want.
Speaker 1: And I remember just laughing in his face, going, I
Speaker 1: don't care what you want. This is what I want,
Speaker 1: and you are leaving now.
Speaker 2: Dan walked out the door, and Sydney closed it behind him.
Speaker 2: She would never open the door to him again.
Speaker 1: I've spent the past four years getting past what happened.
Speaker 1: I dated, I had relationships, nothing ever worked out.
Speaker 2: But as her daughter said in her voice, memo to us.
Speaker 2: This is a story about a woman who couldn't give
Speaker 2: up on love.
Speaker 1: Remember my friend. I told you about my very very
Speaker 1: special friend.
Speaker 2: Peter, the friend who encouraged Sydney to throw how she
Speaker 2: was feeling out to the universe.
Speaker 1: Well, we're together, We're actually engaged. He's absolutely amazing. I'm
Speaker 1: very happy and I couldn't ask for anything more. There's
Speaker 1: a bright light after this horrible story. That's him. So
Speaker 1: he threw it out to the universe.
Speaker 2: Maybe he was right about that strateg.
Speaker 1: After all, my life finally turned around. Sometimes you have
Speaker 1: to go through really bad things to really then appreciate
Speaker 1: the best. And I have the best right now.
Speaker 2: Sydney endured so much pain in her relationship with Dan,
Speaker 2: but there was something she gained from the experience that
Speaker 2: Dan can never take away.
Speaker 1: I learned how to love and I had never learned
Speaker 1: that before. In your darkest moments, it's amazing how strong
Speaker 1: you can become.
Speaker 2: We end every weekly episode with the same question, why
Speaker 2: do you want to share your story?
Speaker 1: I was angry at myself for a long time, and
Speaker 1: I kept thinking, how could I have fallen for this?
Speaker 1: Not once, but twice? Why did it happen to me,
Speaker 1: and the only answer I had was that I fell
Speaker 1: in love with him. I just wanted to believe. I
Speaker 1: wanted to trust. None of us are stupid. We're all
Speaker 1: smart people, and we got to quit telling ourselves we're
Speaker 1: not when things like this happen. All I did was
Speaker 1: want to love someone.
Speaker 2: On the next episode of Betrayal Weekly.
Speaker 3: I don't know this person. What I had in my
Speaker 3: mind is not true. He's not the person I thought
Speaker 3: he was. I have no idea what he was capable
Speaker 3: of doing.
Speaker 2: If you'd like to share your story on Betrayal, please
Speaker 2: email Betrayalpod at gmail dot com. That is Betrayal Pod
Speaker 2: at gmail dot com. Please note that we are not
Speaker 2: a mental health organization. If you are in crisis or
Speaker 2: currently experiencing domestic violence, we encourage you to seek local
Speaker 2: help or dial nine to one one. Please contact organizations
Speaker 2: that offer immediate support. In our show notes, we've included
Speaker 2: a list of US based resources. You can follow us
Speaker 2: on Instagram at Betrayal Pod or find me at It's
Speaker 2: Andrea Gunning. To access our newsletter and additional content, and
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Speaker 2: thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a
Speaker 2: production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group
Speaker 2: and partnership with iheartpod Casts. The show is executive produced
Speaker 2: by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason, hosted and produced by
Speaker 2: me Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Olivia Hewitt. Our
Speaker 2: story editor is Monique Leboard, also produced by Ben Fetterman.
Speaker 2: Our associate producer is Leah Jablo. Production management by Kristin Melcurie,
Speaker 2: Booking support by Curry Richmond. Our iHeart team is Ali
Speaker 2: Perry and Jessica Crincheck. Audio editing by Tanner Robbins, with
Speaker 2: additional editing and mixing by Matt Albecchio. A Trayals theme
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