1 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:06,800 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome to cheek Ease and Chill. I 2 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,760 Speaker 1: have some very exciting news to share. So Apple Podcasts 3 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: has this program called Spotlight. Basically, they pick one podcast 4 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:18,000 Speaker 1: they love and highlight it for an entire month so 5 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:21,440 Speaker 1: that more people can find it. That's right. Apple's editorial 6 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 1: team listens to thousands of podcasts and they chose cheek 7 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,920 Speaker 1: Ease and Chill. It's the first I Heart podcast to 8 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:31,440 Speaker 1: be highlighted, so I'm super excited about this. So if 9 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 1: it's your first time listening to the show, welcome, and 10 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,199 Speaker 1: I'm so happy you're here. And if you've been with 11 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 1: me for a while, you know how I feel about you. A. 12 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,840 Speaker 1: Chickens and Chill is my comfort zone. I talk about 13 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:44,680 Speaker 1: anything and everything. Since I have you here, I wanted 14 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,199 Speaker 1: to remind you of some of my favorite episodes. We 15 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 1: have one on cheating a betrayal, losing my mom Jenny, 16 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,600 Speaker 1: and a really important one with my fertility doctor on 17 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 1: freezing my eggs. And of course I've had interviews with 18 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:58,280 Speaker 1: some special guests, so be sure to check those out too. 19 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,560 Speaker 1: New episodes drop every month to you guys, rage subscribe 20 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,600 Speaker 1: to Chickens and Chill, don't forget now, let's start the show. 21 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:11,440 Speaker 1: It was frustrating for me finally, and I'm like, hey, 22 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,960 Speaker 1: I don't like this. I'm not used to it. I 23 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 1: want to petition to get custody of Johnny and Jensica. 24 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 1: When I saw that the person that was the guardian 25 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 1: was Rosie, I was so confused, you guys, I was like, what, 26 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,400 Speaker 1: There's no one on this earth that will take care 27 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:30,320 Speaker 1: of those kids the way I will. I really think 28 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,840 Speaker 1: that my mom and I, because I didn't do it myself. 29 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,480 Speaker 1: My mom and I did a pretty great job with 30 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:44,280 Speaker 1: these kids. It's just something that makes me very proud. Hello, guys, 31 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,720 Speaker 1: I'm so happy you're here. Thank you so much for 32 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,279 Speaker 1: tuning in too. Chickens and Chill. It's been a minute 33 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,280 Speaker 1: since I've hopped on the mic by myself and just 34 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: talk to you guys. So that's what we're doing today. 35 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:57,000 Speaker 1: I have something I want to open up about, something 36 00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 1: that's really changed my life forever in the best way possible. 37 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 1: Are you guys ready? Okay, good, let's get into it. 38 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 1: This is cheek, Ease and Chill. So about a month ago, 39 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,840 Speaker 1: I posted this on my Instagram. If you're not following me, 40 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:20,119 Speaker 1: you should be. But anyways, I posted a few pictures 41 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 1: of me and my siblings, Johnny and Jessica, and part 42 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 1: of the caption said, eight years ago today, a judge 43 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:30,639 Speaker 1: granted me custody of Johnny and Jessica seventeen. Although I 44 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 1: didn't need a piece of paper to know in my 45 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,560 Speaker 1: heart what my mother would have wanted and expected for me, 46 00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:37,760 Speaker 1: it still made me feel good to know they were 47 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:40,840 Speaker 1: in the best hands. It was the best decision I've 48 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,360 Speaker 1: ever made, and if I may say so myself, I 49 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 1: did a pretty damn good job hashtag crowd sister. So 50 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:49,079 Speaker 1: that's what I want to talk about today. I want 51 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:52,639 Speaker 1: to tell you guys about my experience. This is in 52 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,640 Speaker 1: no way meant to be any kind of legal advice. 53 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:58,360 Speaker 1: I highly recommend you guys do your research if this 54 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:01,280 Speaker 1: is something you want to pursue, because it is important, 55 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 1: as many of you may know if you don't. My 56 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 1: mother passed away um December, and I was basically her 57 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:14,120 Speaker 1: right hand, her right arm, she would always say that, 58 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 1: and I helped her raise my siblings since I could remember. 59 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 1: I think my earliest memory of cooking on like on 60 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,680 Speaker 1: a chair, cooking breakfast for my siblings. I was ten 61 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 1: years old. I had no business being by like a stove. Okay, 62 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,480 Speaker 1: you guys will be very careful, but anyways, I was 63 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 1: ten years old and I would make them weak with 64 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 1: those This is actually Jackie, who is now How old 65 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: is she? She's a mother of four, is married. I 66 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,120 Speaker 1: don't even know how old. She's thirty something. My sister 67 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 1: Jackie and then Mikey, so they were very little and 68 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:44,840 Speaker 1: my mom was working. She was a single mother, and 69 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 1: I had to take care of him. And then a 70 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 1: few years later I was sixteen, actually twelve when Janico 71 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 1: was born, and then sixteen when Johnny was born. So 72 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 1: especially with Johnny, I was his mom since he was 73 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 1: six months old. My mom told me one day, here's 74 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,320 Speaker 1: your son, here's your baby. I need to go to work, 75 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 1: I gotta go on the road, and you gotta take 76 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 1: care of him. So I can say I became a mother. 77 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,440 Speaker 1: It's sixteen years old. I mean I feel like a 78 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,760 Speaker 1: lot younger, you know, because of my other siblings. But 79 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,279 Speaker 1: with Johnny, it was like the first time my mom said, 80 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:19,479 Speaker 1: here you go, you're old enough. You need to help me. 81 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,120 Speaker 1: Because her career was just even with Jennica and I 82 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,880 Speaker 1: remember when she got pregnant with Jennica. I walked into 83 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,160 Speaker 1: the room and she was crying. She was like pulling 84 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 1: her hair, and I'm like, mom, what's wrong. I was, 85 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 1: of course very worried, and she just said, you know, 86 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,760 Speaker 1: I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do. My 87 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:38,720 Speaker 1: career is doing so well, like this is gonna, you know, 88 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,839 Speaker 1: slow me down. And I was like, mom, it's okay, 89 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 1: it's a blessing and I'll help you. And so she 90 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:48,119 Speaker 1: felt better about it. Even with Johnny, she was not 91 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 1: planning on getting pregnant. It just happened with both of 92 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,680 Speaker 1: I think, honestly, with all of us except Mikey was 93 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:55,599 Speaker 1: the only plan and quote unquote wanted child. And she'll 94 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 1: say this herself. I'm not saying anything that you know, 95 00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 1: she wouldn't have said, and she hasn't said in her book. 96 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,919 Speaker 1: I mean, these are the conversations we had, and she 97 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,880 Speaker 1: was very honest. So I'm being honest with you guys. 98 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:09,840 Speaker 1: And anyways, so that's all I've ever known. Okay, So 99 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,120 Speaker 1: I was twenty six and my mom passed away and 100 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,760 Speaker 1: her and I weren't on speaking terms. Again. If you 101 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,440 Speaker 1: guys want to know a little bit more in detail. 102 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 1: I talked about these two things, um about everything actually, 103 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,480 Speaker 1: and both my books Forgiveness and Unstoppable have it in 104 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:27,080 Speaker 1: Spanish as well. So it was really nothing new to 105 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:30,560 Speaker 1: me because I've always been that second mother to my siblings. 106 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:32,839 Speaker 1: So when my mom passed away, I just didn't know. 107 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:35,599 Speaker 1: I felt like I was starting a new life without 108 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 1: my mother, without my siblings, and there was no communication whatsoever. 109 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,080 Speaker 1: I think it within those two months, Johnny snook to 110 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 1: see me, I think like once or twice. It was 111 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 1: just really difficult. It was a really difficult time for me. 112 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 1: So when we got the news that my mom had passed, 113 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 1: I got a phone call when I was driving from 114 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:53,960 Speaker 1: because I was in Vegas. When I found out my 115 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,360 Speaker 1: mom had passed away. I was in Vegas and they said, 116 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 1: you know, come to your grandma's house. She lived in Lakewood. 117 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: That's about for hours away driving. So I said, okay, 118 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,360 Speaker 1: you know, come to your grandma's house. They can't find 119 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:10,440 Speaker 1: your mom's plane. I honestly like, I've never driven so fast. 120 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,719 Speaker 1: You guys, again, that's another thing I don't recommend. Be 121 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,480 Speaker 1: safe where your seatbelt. You guys know how I am. 122 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 1: I always say it but it was just a horrible moment. 123 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 1: I was driving to my grandma's house, thinking are they 124 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:22,560 Speaker 1: going to accept me? Are they going to talk to me? 125 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 1: How am I going to feel? I haven't talked to 126 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:27,880 Speaker 1: the kids, like I felt so weird. There were so 127 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 1: many things going on emotionally and mentally. And then I 128 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,800 Speaker 1: got a call from Jessica and she said, sister, where 129 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 1: are you? And I said, I'm on my way. Are 130 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,240 Speaker 1: you okay? She said, no, I need you here. We 131 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:43,159 Speaker 1: need you here, please please come. So that just, honestly 132 00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:45,120 Speaker 1: just I don't know if it was my mom or 133 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 1: God sending me that, but it just automatically that moment 134 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:51,719 Speaker 1: was like, Okay, I need to be strong for my siblings. 135 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,839 Speaker 1: I don't know my mom's coming back. I hope she does, 136 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,080 Speaker 1: but with that phone call, it just made me feel powerful, 137 00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:00,480 Speaker 1: like invincible. I'm like, okay, I gotta stufen up. I 138 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 1: got to put on my big girl panties and I 139 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,240 Speaker 1: gotta go save these kids. In some ways what I 140 00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:07,520 Speaker 1: felt like I was their hero and it just made 141 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,080 Speaker 1: me feel like Popeye, you know what I mean. Like 142 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I gotta be strong, and it 143 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 1: gave me that strength, and it gave me that confidence 144 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,360 Speaker 1: to walk into my grandma's house and say I don't 145 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:16,240 Speaker 1: give a ship when anyone thinks about me or has 146 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 1: to say, I'm here for these kids, like my mama. 147 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,920 Speaker 1: Mode just went in like on high gear, you guys, 148 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:24,720 Speaker 1: and I didn't care. I walked in and everyone was 149 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 1: really nice. That everyone. Obviously we're all worried going through 150 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,680 Speaker 1: like our own emotions, you know. And anyways, I was 151 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,960 Speaker 1: there and I did not leave their side. We were 152 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,200 Speaker 1: at my grandma's house, you guys, for two weeks. Johnny 153 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 1: and I slept on the floor in my grandpa's office 154 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:41,760 Speaker 1: and we just slept there and it was a bunch 155 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:45,560 Speaker 1: of us. It was chaotic, people playing my mom's music outside. 156 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 1: There were so many fans, which was beautiful, but it 157 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 1: was just so crazy. It was just so a time 158 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:52,080 Speaker 1: that was just I don't know, I don't remember every 159 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:53,960 Speaker 1: detail because it's kind of like a blur, but I 160 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 1: do remember holding onto Johnny. He was eleven at the 161 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 1: time and Jenica was fifteen, and I just felt that 162 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 1: I needed to be there for them, not I didn't 163 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,440 Speaker 1: need to be there for my other siblings because obviously, 164 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,320 Speaker 1: you know, we were all going through some type of 165 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,880 Speaker 1: horrible pain and you know what I mean. But I 166 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 1: just felt like they need to be there for Johnny 167 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:11,720 Speaker 1: and Jensica. And anyways, I had my own little apartment. 168 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:13,840 Speaker 1: It wasn't even an apartment, you guys. I think I've 169 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,200 Speaker 1: told you guys before. I lived in a garage. It 170 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,400 Speaker 1: was a garage that was converted into a one bedroom 171 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,800 Speaker 1: and that was where I converted the one bedroom to 172 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:24,160 Speaker 1: my closet, and then I slept in the living room 173 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:28,600 Speaker 1: slash kitchen area. I was so crazy, but anyways, that's 174 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,600 Speaker 1: where I lived. I was starting a new life. I 175 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 1: was taking therapy twice a week during that time, so 176 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:39,080 Speaker 1: I felt stronger. I felt like okay, I kind of 177 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:43,599 Speaker 1: was asking me land and then then just came in 178 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:46,960 Speaker 1: just out of left field, and I didn't know what 179 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 1: to do. We didn't talk about it during those two 180 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:52,360 Speaker 1: weeks after we buried my mom. That's when the conversation 181 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,320 Speaker 1: happened where Johnny's like, are you going to live with us? 182 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:58,000 Speaker 1: Are you going to move back in? And I, honestly 183 00:08:58,040 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 1: I was like I thought about it a little bit 184 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:03,760 Speaker 1: because I didn't want to be intrusive or invasive because 185 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:07,000 Speaker 1: I still hadn't had that conversation with my mom, and 186 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,000 Speaker 1: I never was I was never going to be able 187 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,040 Speaker 1: to have that conversation. So I just felt like weird. 188 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,840 Speaker 1: It was just awkward. But I knew in my heart 189 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:16,600 Speaker 1: that what she needed and expected for me and what 190 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 1: she had prepared me my entire life. You guys, now 191 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 1: that I look back, I was like, she was preparing 192 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:24,160 Speaker 1: me for that moment, For this moment, I knew I 193 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,319 Speaker 1: had to be there for my siblings. So I was 194 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 1: so comfortable in my little place. I had already had 195 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:32,079 Speaker 1: like my own little routine. I had just opened up, 196 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:36,239 Speaker 1: blew me dry my salon, and everything was put on hold. 197 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:39,040 Speaker 1: Thank god, I had a lease I think of two years, 198 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,480 Speaker 1: and the lady was so sweet and she let me 199 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,640 Speaker 1: break it. She was really sad that I was leaving. 200 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,520 Speaker 1: And I moved in back into our Encino home with 201 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:50,960 Speaker 1: the kids, and I believe my brother Mikey was living 202 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,760 Speaker 1: there at the time in my old room what what 203 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,280 Speaker 1: used to be my old room. So I moved into 204 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,439 Speaker 1: what used to be Jackie's old room. That was a 205 00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 1: little weird, but I was like, okay, whatever, I don't care. 206 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,160 Speaker 1: I'm not going to kick my brother out, I'm not 207 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:03,880 Speaker 1: gonna lie. I tried, but he was not having it. 208 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,240 Speaker 1: He's like no. So I stayed in Jackie's room and 209 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:09,559 Speaker 1: I made it my little home, and I was there 210 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:20,120 Speaker 1: for my siblings. In the will, my mom left Rosie, 211 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:24,760 Speaker 1: her sister, as the guardian of the kids. I think 212 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:29,200 Speaker 1: more than anything, because I was disinherited. That didn't hurt me. 213 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:33,560 Speaker 1: I was like me, Mamma, mint sign, I'll be fine. 214 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,120 Speaker 1: I wanted my kids, my kids here, I go see, 215 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,120 Speaker 1: it just comes out naturally, my siblings. I wanted my 216 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:41,600 Speaker 1: siblings to be okay. But that hurt me. When I 217 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 1: saw that the person that was the guardian was Rosie, 218 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:48,080 Speaker 1: I was like so confused, you guys. I was like what, 219 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:53,120 Speaker 1: Like how there's no one on this earth, no one 220 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 1: that will take care of those kids the way I will. 221 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 1: So that's one thing that I was very upset with 222 00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:00,400 Speaker 1: my mom for a long time, and I will admit it. 223 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 1: I was upset. I was holding some type of resentment. 224 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,760 Speaker 1: You guys. Was the fucking hardest year of my life 225 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,920 Speaker 1: because I went through I missed my mom. I wish 226 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,360 Speaker 1: I could talk to her. I was upset with her. 227 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:15,120 Speaker 1: I couldn't believe that she had left this mess and 228 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,280 Speaker 1: I had to pick it up and it was hard, 229 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:21,240 Speaker 1: so hard, so I didn't say anything. I said, that's fine. 230 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,680 Speaker 1: I don't need a piece of paper to freaking tell 231 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,559 Speaker 1: me that these are my children, that I'm going to 232 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,120 Speaker 1: take care of them, that I'm the only one that 233 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,440 Speaker 1: knows what they liked, he what they don't like, how 234 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,960 Speaker 1: to like get through to Johnny, because Johnny has always 235 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:35,120 Speaker 1: been somewhat of a difficult child, and he only listened 236 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 1: to me. So I was like, fine. So Rosie lived 237 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,040 Speaker 1: in the home because you know, on the will it 238 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:42,839 Speaker 1: said that the guardian had to live where the children lived, 239 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:44,960 Speaker 1: so they moved in. Her and her husband and her 240 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:48,280 Speaker 1: children moved into my mom's house and we all lived 241 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:51,480 Speaker 1: together for about a year. That was very hard, very 242 00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:55,320 Speaker 1: very hard, because I wasn't used to it. Obviously, I 243 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:56,760 Speaker 1: hadn't talked to my mom. I didn't know how things 244 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,920 Speaker 1: were running in the house. I just knew what I 245 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,679 Speaker 1: how I did things. And then Rosie was there, but 246 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,560 Speaker 1: she was pretty respectful as to like allowing me to 247 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 1: do things in the house the way they needed to 248 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:09,840 Speaker 1: be done and with the kids. She never really got 249 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,400 Speaker 1: in the middle of that, and we try to live 250 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,440 Speaker 1: there together, and it was telling you it was tough. 251 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:19,320 Speaker 1: And then taking the kids to school, and again I 252 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:22,200 Speaker 1: didn't even have to ever ask my mom for quote 253 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:25,160 Speaker 1: unquote permission or like hey mom, like everyone knew me 254 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,400 Speaker 1: at school, like you know, with the kids, like I 255 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 1: would take them to school, I would go to the 256 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:32,280 Speaker 1: teacher parent conferences, to the open houses, to all of that. 257 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 1: So on top of everything that I was going through, 258 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:40,200 Speaker 1: I had to deal with having Rosie have to ask 259 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 1: her for permission, like hey, can you write me a letter? 260 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:43,719 Speaker 1: Can you go with me to the school because I 261 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,200 Speaker 1: gotta get Johnny or Jessica. And it was just it 262 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,120 Speaker 1: was too much, you guys. I was just like, oh 263 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:52,040 Speaker 1: my god, I couldn't. It was frustrating for me. And 264 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:56,600 Speaker 1: finally I asked her, Hey, I think it's time. I 265 00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:58,520 Speaker 1: think after like two years, I think she had already 266 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,440 Speaker 1: moved out. She lived at my mom's how with her 267 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:03,000 Speaker 1: family for about a year. And then I'm like, hey, 268 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,560 Speaker 1: I I don't like this, I'm not used to it. 269 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:10,800 Speaker 1: I want to petition to get custody of Johnny and Jensica. 270 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:14,239 Speaker 1: And she didn't even think about it. Twice she said, okay, yeah, 271 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:17,400 Speaker 1: that's fine. I said, okay, well that was easy, you know. 272 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 1: So I started the process. I asked for an attorney 273 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,760 Speaker 1: to help me, and it was i, I want to say, 274 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:26,120 Speaker 1: roughly about six months. I just wanted to have the 275 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:29,160 Speaker 1: freedom and the liberty to take these kids to their 276 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:33,600 Speaker 1: doctor's appointment to enroll them into school because I had 277 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,760 Speaker 1: to switch Jenica out of public school until like a 278 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:39,040 Speaker 1: private school because she was having a tough time. So 279 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 1: it just made my life a lot easier. Jenica was seventeen, 280 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,400 Speaker 1: so really I only like had custody of her for 281 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 1: about a year because then as soon as she turned 282 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,480 Speaker 1: it changed. She wanted to be independent, want to move 283 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:50,680 Speaker 1: out or whatever, you know. But it was the best 284 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:53,600 Speaker 1: decision I have ever made. Again, like I said on 285 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,240 Speaker 1: my Instagram post, I didn't need a piece of paper 286 00:13:56,679 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 1: to do what I knew my mom expected for me 287 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,760 Speaker 1: as her daughter and as the sister of these kids, 288 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 1: and as like the second mother. But it just it 289 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:09,080 Speaker 1: felt really good to know that they were definitely and 290 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,040 Speaker 1: I say that with all the confidence in the world 291 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 1: in the best hands ever. I do wish my mom 292 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,880 Speaker 1: would have left me as the guardian. I understand she 293 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,840 Speaker 1: was upset and she was going through her own feelings. 294 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,840 Speaker 1: And now I'm not upset. Now I have forgiven her. 295 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,520 Speaker 1: We're good, you know what I mean. But I did 296 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,080 Speaker 1: go through all those emotions. That's just how I felt, 297 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 1: you know. And you guys know I'm always very honest 298 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:34,120 Speaker 1: and transparent with you guys. But I'm glad that I 299 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,640 Speaker 1: fought in a way I didn't have to fight because 300 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:39,680 Speaker 1: Rosie knew. She always said, those kids are yours in 301 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,800 Speaker 1: many ways, they're more yours, and even your mom's because 302 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:44,320 Speaker 1: she was working and she didn't think about it. Now, 303 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,760 Speaker 1: I'll be honest, I don't think any of my family 304 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,880 Speaker 1: members had an issue, though. I think they knew like 305 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:53,600 Speaker 1: I raised those kids, you know, especially Johnny Yo. I 306 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 1: think he was like two and a half years and old, 307 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,480 Speaker 1: and that was so hard, you guys. He just wanted 308 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,560 Speaker 1: his freaking bottle and it was just one damn bottle 309 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 1: that he on it all the time. So since he 310 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 1: was little, he was just a creature of habit. Like 311 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:06,600 Speaker 1: he had one blanket that he would not let me wash. 312 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 1: He would always carry it everywhere. He had that one 313 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,080 Speaker 1: bottle that had a big gas bucking hole. Because he'd 314 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,440 Speaker 1: like to bite on it on the nipple, and it's 315 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:17,320 Speaker 1: stunk because he just wanted that bottle, that damn freaking blanket, 316 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 1: and I'll never forget. Maybe this is a little traumatizing, 317 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,360 Speaker 1: but the babysitter, because I did have people that would 318 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,280 Speaker 1: help me, because it was a lot, she gave it 319 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,120 Speaker 1: to him. I had hidden it, and she gave it 320 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,920 Speaker 1: to him, and I looked back one day he was 321 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,160 Speaker 1: in his car seat and I remember telling me, give 322 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 1: me your bottle. So he gave it to me and 323 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,360 Speaker 1: I threw it out of the window while we were driving. 324 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,960 Speaker 1: He said, I devastated him so much. But these are 325 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,920 Speaker 1: the things, you guys, that I did since I was little. 326 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:43,480 Speaker 1: I was a child raising a child that was eighteen 327 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,560 Speaker 1: years old trying to raise his kid. So the point 328 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 1: is they're my kids, and I still feel that, and 329 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,040 Speaker 1: now that I think about it, though, and I'm gonna 330 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:54,560 Speaker 1: be really honest. I was just telling Johnny the other 331 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:57,000 Speaker 1: day when I wrote the post, said, it is fucking 332 00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,320 Speaker 1: crazy to me that Rosie, who was also the ustye 333 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,200 Speaker 1: of my mom's estate for a while, I never thought 334 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 1: because I had sixty I believe it was sixty or 335 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,160 Speaker 1: ninety days when the trust in the will was given 336 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,760 Speaker 1: to us to her children, and of course, I you know, 337 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:14,120 Speaker 1: there was a I believe in amendment there that took 338 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:15,960 Speaker 1: me out. You know, she had to show me those things. 339 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,360 Speaker 1: But I had the ninety days to fight it, and 340 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:21,400 Speaker 1: I didn't because I was like, I it's fine whatever, 341 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be all right, and God is gonna help 342 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:26,120 Speaker 1: me because he knows my heart. He knows that I 343 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:28,400 Speaker 1: don't deserve this, but I'm gonna take it, you know 344 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 1: what I mean. She knows everything that I did for 345 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:34,840 Speaker 1: my mother, and never did she think, Okay, I'm gonna 346 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:36,480 Speaker 1: do things right, or I'm going to try to help 347 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 1: her because that's maybe the right thing, or maybe I 348 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,880 Speaker 1: don't know. She didn't eve think about it twice to 349 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 1: give me custody or hand over these two lives to 350 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 1: me like nothing, you know what I mean. In a way, 351 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:50,320 Speaker 1: it makes me feel good because it's like she knew 352 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,360 Speaker 1: they're going to be in the best hands. But I'm 353 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,400 Speaker 1: just like I think, I'm like, damn, that's crazy. I 354 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:58,920 Speaker 1: don't know. But the good thing is that that happened. 355 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 1: I think I did a great job. I'm very, very 356 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:07,600 Speaker 1: very proud of my siblings. Johnny's twenty one and he's 357 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,240 Speaker 1: working for my mom's enterprises. He's so passionate about my 358 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:13,400 Speaker 1: mom's project. He's the one that runs my mom's Instagram, 359 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,600 Speaker 1: and I love to see them doing their thing. You know, 360 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,560 Speaker 1: he went to school. He's going to finish hopefully, like 361 00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:21,359 Speaker 1: to the l A Film and Production school, and he 362 00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 1: knows a lot about music. And I'm just so proud 363 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,560 Speaker 1: of the child that he is because losing his parents 364 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:29,280 Speaker 1: at eleven years old. To see the great heart that 365 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:32,639 Speaker 1: he has, and he's so intelligent. I'm not saying he's perfect. 366 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,240 Speaker 1: There are things that we still work on, like taking 367 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:35,960 Speaker 1: out the damn trash and I have to remind him 368 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,439 Speaker 1: to wash the dishes and stuff like that. But whatever, 369 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,360 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, he's a great kid. 370 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,800 Speaker 1: He still respects me very much. I have his location. 371 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,760 Speaker 1: I am that sister. I have Jenica's location too. I'd 372 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 1: probably have Jackie and Mikey's if they'd allow it, but 373 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:53,320 Speaker 1: they don't. But I really think that my mom and I, 374 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:54,959 Speaker 1: because I didn't do it myself. My mom and I 375 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,080 Speaker 1: did a pretty fucking great job with these kids. Jenica 376 00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,879 Speaker 1: is doing her thing you know what I mean. Like, 377 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,960 Speaker 1: it's just something that makes me very proud. They were 378 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,680 Speaker 1: at the house the other day. We were having a 379 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,919 Speaker 1: pool party and to see my sister with her kids, 380 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,639 Speaker 1: and just like I sit back and I look at 381 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,639 Speaker 1: my family and I'm like, I know, my mom is 382 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:13,280 Speaker 1: so proud of us because we've been through hell and 383 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:16,159 Speaker 1: back and we're still okay and we're still united. And 384 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,520 Speaker 1: I pray to God that we continue to be that 385 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,840 Speaker 1: way because that's the best way that we can represent 386 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,199 Speaker 1: my mother, and that's what I think she expects from us. 387 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,199 Speaker 1: Maybe there's someone here listening to chickens and chill and 388 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:37,280 Speaker 1: they want to know how to go about getting custody. Again, 389 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:39,320 Speaker 1: I can't give you guys, like the legal advice because 390 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,200 Speaker 1: of course I'm not a lawyer or anything. But you know, 391 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:42,600 Speaker 1: I got a lawyer and I said, hey, I want 392 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,920 Speaker 1: to get custody, Like, can you guide me? You can 393 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:48,040 Speaker 1: also do it yourself, like online at your nearest courthouse, 394 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,920 Speaker 1: but an attorney, I feel like, you know, helps a 395 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,840 Speaker 1: little bit quicker. They know a lot more. But look 396 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:56,879 Speaker 1: as far as that goes, that's the best advice I 397 00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:59,160 Speaker 1: can give you. That's what I did, and be patient 398 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:01,960 Speaker 1: because it does take a little bit of time and 399 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:04,120 Speaker 1: it is a big responsibility. I'm not going to tell 400 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,480 Speaker 1: you guys that it's just easy breezy, because it wasn't. 401 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:14,120 Speaker 1: I went through a lot, especially with with Johnny. You know, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, 402 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,600 Speaker 1: sixteen years old, even seventeen and eighteen were tough, you guys. 403 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,800 Speaker 1: They were tough. I was trying to raise a boy. 404 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,200 Speaker 1: The only father figure that he had or the person 405 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,520 Speaker 1: that he respected was my ex boyfriend Angel. He's still 406 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:27,639 Speaker 1: actually has a communication with him, and that's the only 407 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:29,560 Speaker 1: father figure he had when it was a very short 408 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,800 Speaker 1: period of time, So it was tough. It was tough. 409 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:34,000 Speaker 1: I read a lot of books, but the one I 410 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,879 Speaker 1: remember is Parenting Teens for Dummies. Oh my gosh. It 411 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,960 Speaker 1: helped me so much because I don't know, I was 412 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,439 Speaker 1: like and I was so tough, you guys. I was tough. 413 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,680 Speaker 1: I was tough on Johnny. Jennica didn't give me too 414 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:49,080 Speaker 1: many problems until she got a little older. But um, 415 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:52,199 Speaker 1: with Johnny, I mean, raising a boy is tough and 416 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,720 Speaker 1: teaching him so many things, and and I was hard. 417 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:59,560 Speaker 1: I was hard on him. I did discipline him many times, 418 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:03,199 Speaker 1: and I'm glad I did. And I learned very quickly 419 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:07,000 Speaker 1: that with Johnny what worked best was taking away his electronics, 420 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:11,160 Speaker 1: taking away his phone, taking away his Xbox. I broke 421 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,720 Speaker 1: his Xbox once because he wasn't listening, he didn't clean 422 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,720 Speaker 1: his room, so I broke it. I even raised his 423 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:19,120 Speaker 1: Instagram once, you guys, he had like over two followers 424 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,080 Speaker 1: or something like that. And I was that tough parent. 425 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,679 Speaker 1: I had no other choice. I had no other choice. 426 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,160 Speaker 1: I was a single mother trying to raise his kid, 427 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,040 Speaker 1: who obviously was going through a lot because he lost 428 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,440 Speaker 1: both his parents. Had eleven Jensica was what eleven, I 429 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:34,480 Speaker 1: don't remember, but regardless, they were young, so they were 430 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,880 Speaker 1: going through their own things, trying to navigate through life 431 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:40,399 Speaker 1: without their parents. But I had that schooling from my 432 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,640 Speaker 1: mom of Okay, this is what you went through, because 433 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,040 Speaker 1: she was like that with me. Yes, you were sexually abused, cheekys, 434 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,560 Speaker 1: but I'm not going to allow you to be a victim. 435 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,000 Speaker 1: Yes you are a victim, but I'm not going to 436 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,639 Speaker 1: allow you to victimize yourself. And that's kind of the 437 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 1: type of tough love that I had with with them, 438 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,000 Speaker 1: with especially with Johnny, it's like, Okay, we got to 439 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:57,720 Speaker 1: move on. There was something that my mom was doing 440 00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,000 Speaker 1: on Twitter, like a few months before she passed away, 441 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:03,199 Speaker 1: and she was using the hashtag life goes on a 442 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,920 Speaker 1: lot almost every other day. So that kind of helped 443 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,439 Speaker 1: me with them. Like Mom even said it, like we 444 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,400 Speaker 1: have to be strong for her. We gotta if we fall, 445 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,679 Speaker 1: we gotta get up and dust ourselves off. It was 446 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,119 Speaker 1: just I had no other choice but to be that 447 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,280 Speaker 1: way to get us through what we were going through, 448 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,960 Speaker 1: especially me, Like I always say, if it wasn't for 449 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,240 Speaker 1: Johnny and Jessica, Like I don't know what would have 450 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:27,360 Speaker 1: happened to me if it wasn't for them, because they 451 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:30,160 Speaker 1: are my little life savers. They kept me alive, especially Johnny. 452 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:33,160 Speaker 1: Like Johnny since I started my music career, was there 453 00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:35,679 Speaker 1: and and he's been my number one fan and his 454 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,760 Speaker 1: now gives me advice and tips and I listened to 455 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,080 Speaker 1: him because he's so freaking talented, you know. So I 456 00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:42,679 Speaker 1: was just telling Johnny the other day, I said him 457 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,359 Speaker 1: a message. I said, Baba, thank you so much for 458 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,080 Speaker 1: being there for me. He's been my little life partner 459 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:50,000 Speaker 1: since I could remember, you know, since he was a baby. Boy. 460 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,480 Speaker 1: He's been my little life partner and he helped me 461 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,480 Speaker 1: grow up from a girl to a woman. They both 462 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,960 Speaker 1: did all my siblings really and I don't know. I 463 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:01,320 Speaker 1: wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change it for anything. Only 464 00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:04,600 Speaker 1: God knows why our life turned out this way and 465 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,040 Speaker 1: why we were dealt the hand that we were dealt. 466 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:12,200 Speaker 1: But our job is to represent our mother. And that's 467 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,600 Speaker 1: why for me it's so important as the as the eldest, 468 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,560 Speaker 1: and I always say I like to keep us together 469 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,119 Speaker 1: and keep us united and stay strong. And that doesn't 470 00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:21,680 Speaker 1: mean that we're not going to argue. But I sent 471 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:23,600 Speaker 1: in our group message. We have a little family group, 472 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,760 Speaker 1: matches is called is what we call our group message 473 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:28,399 Speaker 1: of my siblings and I and I said them a 474 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:30,000 Speaker 1: message I was I was a little buzzed, and MICHAELA, 475 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,320 Speaker 1: I was a little buzzed. I was at the bowling 476 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:33,320 Speaker 1: alley with the media and I got buzzed and I 477 00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:36,200 Speaker 1: got really emotional and like, dude, we have to stay 478 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,480 Speaker 1: strong because there's so much going on. You guys, I 479 00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,200 Speaker 1: wish I could tell you how much is going on 480 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,320 Speaker 1: behind the scenes and how much it hurts me to 481 00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:47,760 Speaker 1: see my siblings, especially Johnny and and Jackie, you know, 482 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,000 Speaker 1: because they're the ones that worked the most at the 483 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:53,879 Speaker 1: office and and to see Jackie cry and it freaking 484 00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,720 Speaker 1: breaks my heart. So I was telling them, like, I 485 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,400 Speaker 1: know we're going through a lot. I know a lot 486 00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,200 Speaker 1: of things are coming up to the s of this, 487 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,080 Speaker 1: things about the estate, and things about my mom's businesses 488 00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,040 Speaker 1: and just stuff that very disappointing and disheartening things you 489 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:09,560 Speaker 1: guys that I'd rather us keep to ourselves for now, 490 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,040 Speaker 1: you know, or I don't even know if we'll ever 491 00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,320 Speaker 1: talk about this. But I was telling them, I'm like, 492 00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:16,000 Speaker 1: you know, we have to stay strong. We're going to argue, 493 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,679 Speaker 1: we're going to have disagreements, but I am not going 494 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,600 Speaker 1: to allow you guys not to talk to each other 495 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:22,800 Speaker 1: for X amount of days, Like we need to fix 496 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:26,760 Speaker 1: the ship quick. Why Because I'm a prime example that 497 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,160 Speaker 1: my mom and I weren't able to speak and times 498 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,520 Speaker 1: of the essence, we don't know what tomorrow brings and 499 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,879 Speaker 1: the moment is now. As I was telling them, I 500 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,520 Speaker 1: was going on and on. I sent them like five 501 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:39,720 Speaker 1: voice notes really long. They all hated it, but they're like, yes, sister, yes, sister. 502 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:41,760 Speaker 1: But I was in my feelings, and I'm like, that's 503 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:45,040 Speaker 1: what it's about. It's just staying united and staying strong. 504 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,760 Speaker 1: And I always think of my mom because that's that's 505 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,679 Speaker 1: what she wants, that's what she expects. I know it. 506 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,720 Speaker 1: That's what she told me all the time. Don't be 507 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:57,119 Speaker 1: like my siblings and I fighting. It is your responsibility 508 00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:00,040 Speaker 1: and I expect you to keep your siblings. You and 509 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:04,119 Speaker 1: your siblings together, and you, guys are all that you 510 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:05,720 Speaker 1: have at the end of the day. She would always 511 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:09,400 Speaker 1: tell me that since I was little, you guys. Anyways, 512 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,439 Speaker 1: I wanted to share this with you guys because a 513 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:13,800 Speaker 1: lot of people asked me, a lot of people set 514 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:17,080 Speaker 1: me beautiful messages commenting on my post, and I just 515 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,760 Speaker 1: felt it in my heart to talk about it and 516 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,720 Speaker 1: to let you guys know that, Yeah, that's my life 517 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,320 Speaker 1: and it's part of my life and I love it 518 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,080 Speaker 1: and I really wouldn't change it. Obviously, if I could 519 00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:29,600 Speaker 1: have my mom here, that would be amazing. But even 520 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,160 Speaker 1: the argument that her and I had two months before 521 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:35,480 Speaker 1: she passed, it's crazy, but even that was meant to 522 00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,080 Speaker 1: happen the way it happened, because I don't know if 523 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:40,560 Speaker 1: I would have been as strong I feel like I 524 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:44,800 Speaker 1: was a few steps in the healing process before everyone, 525 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:47,480 Speaker 1: my whole family, and of course I was going through 526 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:51,320 Speaker 1: a lot, but I felt like those two months gave 527 00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:56,680 Speaker 1: me the time to kind of realize or prepare for 528 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,320 Speaker 1: what was coming, and I could be strong enough for 529 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:05,080 Speaker 1: my siblings. Everything happens for a reason, and God has 530 00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:07,840 Speaker 1: a perfect plan and he knows why and he knows how. 531 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:12,400 Speaker 1: And I was one of those people that was like, God, 532 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,880 Speaker 1: why is this happening? Why did you do this to me? 533 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:18,760 Speaker 1: Until I learned that it's not that life is happening 534 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:22,000 Speaker 1: to us, it's happening for us. Take some time to 535 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:24,719 Speaker 1: get to that point to really be like, oh, shoot, 536 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 1: you look back and you're like, Damn, I can't believe 537 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:28,560 Speaker 1: I was there. I can't believe I went through that, 538 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,040 Speaker 1: And you kind of chuckle a little bit, like damn. 539 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,720 Speaker 1: I really thought when I was going through it that 540 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:35,600 Speaker 1: I was never going to get out of it. And 541 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,560 Speaker 1: now you're looking in from the outside and saying, damn, 542 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,680 Speaker 1: I'm here. And that's where I'm like, no one can 543 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:45,119 Speaker 1: tell me God doesn't exist, stronger force doesn't exist in 544 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,760 Speaker 1: this world, because I have lived and have gone through 545 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:52,119 Speaker 1: and survived so much in my life that there's always 546 00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:56,280 Speaker 1: something positive to look forward too. Thank you for always 547 00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,880 Speaker 1: listening to me, for being here with me, for supporting 548 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:02,080 Speaker 1: me on this podcast on Chickens and Chill. It's it's 549 00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:05,919 Speaker 1: been amazing you guys. This podcast has helped me so much, 550 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:10,840 Speaker 1: so much, and I'm getting emotional, but thank you, guys. 551 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,600 Speaker 1: Thank you, and you guys know that I always have 552 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:20,040 Speaker 1: a quote for you. It's something that I always say 553 00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:22,680 Speaker 1: with my siblings and I we may not have it 554 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,840 Speaker 1: all together, but together we have it all. I don't 555 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:27,280 Speaker 1: know what that means to you, but to me it 556 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,639 Speaker 1: means a lot. So there it is. That's the quote. 557 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:34,560 Speaker 1: Thank you for listening again. Lomo Losespiro in a Proximo 558 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:44,560 Speaker 1: episode the Chickies and Chill. You, guys, do you need 559 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:49,320 Speaker 1: advice on love, relationships, health? Imas. I'm so excited to 560 00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:51,920 Speaker 1: share with you that my Cheekies and Chill podcast will 561 00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:55,320 Speaker 1: have an extra episode drop each week. I'll be answering 562 00:26:55,440 --> 00:27:00,160 Speaker 1: all your questions. Just leave me a voice message a Jolas. 563 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:03,959 Speaker 1: All you have to do is go to speak pipe 564 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:07,400 Speaker 1: dot com slash Cheeks and Chill podcast and record your questions. 565 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:13,440 Speaker 1: I can't wait to hear from you. This is a 566 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:17,240 Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio and the Michael Dura podcast Network. 567 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,440 Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow 568 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,240 Speaker 1: me Cheeks that's c h i q u i s. 569 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:26,320 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from my Heart, visit the I Heart 570 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,479 Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your 571 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:30,480 Speaker 1: favorite podcasts.