1 00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:06,960 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome to Cheeky's and Chill. I have 2 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:11,080 Speaker 1: some very exciting news to share. So Apple Podcasts has 3 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:15,360 Speaker 1: this program called Spotlight. Basically, they pick one podcast they 4 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,159 Speaker 1: love and highlight it for an entire month so that 5 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,720 Speaker 1: more people can find it. That's right. Apple's editorial team 6 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:25,920 Speaker 1: listens to thousands of podcasts and they chose Cheeky's and Chill. 7 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:29,240 Speaker 1: It's the first iHeart podcast to be highlighted, so I'm 8 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 1: super excited about this. So if it's your first time 9 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:34,920 Speaker 1: listening to the show, welcome, and I'm so happy you're here. 10 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:37,120 Speaker 1: And if you've been with me for a while, you 11 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:39,880 Speaker 1: know how I feel about you. Hellos Amo Cheeks and 12 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:43,159 Speaker 1: Chill is my comfort zone. I talk about anything and everything. 13 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,239 Speaker 1: Since I have you here, I wanted to remind you 14 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,720 Speaker 1: of some of my favorite episodes. We have one on 15 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,920 Speaker 1: cheating and Betrayal, losing my mom Jenny, and a really 16 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,680 Speaker 1: important one with my fertility doctor on freezing my eggs. 17 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,640 Speaker 1: And of course I've had interviews with some special guests, 18 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,280 Speaker 1: so be sure to check those out too. New episodes 19 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,120 Speaker 1: drop every mine to you, guys, rage Subscribe to Cheeky's 20 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 1: Chill don't forget now, let's start the show. It was 21 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 1: frustrating for me finally, and I'm like, hey, I don't 22 00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:14,560 Speaker 1: like this. I'm not used to it. I want to 23 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:19,400 Speaker 1: petition to get custody of Johnny and Jenica. When I 24 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 1: saw that the person that was the guardian was Rosy, 25 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 1: I was so confused, you guys. I was like, what, 26 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,400 Speaker 1: There's no one on this earth that will take care 27 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:30,319 Speaker 1: of those kids the way I will. I really think 28 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: that my mom and I, because I didn't do it myself. 29 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:34,520 Speaker 1: My mom and I did a pretty great job with 30 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:44,320 Speaker 1: these kids. It's just something that makes me very proud. Hello, guys, 31 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,720 Speaker 1: I'm so happy you're here. Thank you so much for 32 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:49,320 Speaker 1: tuning in to Cheeky's and Chill. It's been a minute 33 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,360 Speaker 1: since I've hopped on the mic by myself and just 34 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 1: talk to you guys. So that's what we're doing today. 35 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 1: I have something I want to open up about, something 36 00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: that's really changed my life forever in the best way possible. 37 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,560 Speaker 1: Are you guys ready? Okay, good, let's get into it. 38 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:13,800 Speaker 1: This is Cheeky's and Chill. So about a month ago 39 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 1: I posted this on my Instagram. If you're not following 40 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:19,639 Speaker 1: me you should be. But anyways, I posted a few 41 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 1: pictures of me and my siblings, Johnny and Jenica, and 42 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 1: part of the caption said, eight years ago today, a 43 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:29,600 Speaker 1: judge granted me custody of Johnny thirteen and Jenica seventeen. 44 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 2: Although I didn't need. 45 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 1: A piece of paper to know in my heart what 46 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,720 Speaker 1: my mother would have wanted and expected from me, it 47 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,880 Speaker 1: still made me feel good to know they were in 48 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:41,520 Speaker 1: the best hands. It was the best decision I've ever made, 49 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 1: and if I may say so myself, I did a 50 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:47,440 Speaker 1: pretty damn good job. Hashtag proud sister. So that's what 51 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,400 Speaker 1: I want to talk about today. I want to tell 52 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 1: you guys about my experience. This is in no way 53 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 1: meant to be any kind of legal advice. I highly 54 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 1: recommend you guys do your research if this is something 55 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:02,480 Speaker 1: you want to pursue, because it is important, as many 56 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:05,239 Speaker 1: of you may know if you don't. My mother passed 57 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:12,600 Speaker 1: away December twenty twelve, and I was basically her right hand, 58 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 1: her right arm, she would always say that, and I 59 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 1: helped her raise my siblings since I could remember. I 60 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:22,200 Speaker 1: think my earliest memory of cooking on like on a chair, 61 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,240 Speaker 1: cooking breakfast for my siblings. I was ten years old. 62 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,080 Speaker 1: I had no business being by like a stove. Okay, 63 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,440 Speaker 1: you guys, so it'll be very careful. But anyways, I 64 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,080 Speaker 1: was ten years old and I would to make them wabitos. 65 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:35,160 Speaker 1: This is actually Jackie who is now how old is she? 66 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 1: She's a mother of four, is married. I don't even 67 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 1: know how old. She's thirty something. My sister Jackie and 68 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:42,480 Speaker 1: then Mikey, So they were very little and my mom 69 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,120 Speaker 1: was working. She was a single mother, and I had 70 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,360 Speaker 1: to take care of them. And then a few years 71 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:51,640 Speaker 1: later I was sixteen, actually twelve when Janica was born, 72 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:56,280 Speaker 1: and then sixteen when Johnny was born. So especially with Johnny, 73 00:03:56,640 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 1: I was his mom since he was six months old. 74 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,960 Speaker 1: My mom told me one day, here's your son, here's 75 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,800 Speaker 1: your baby. I need to go to work, I gotta 76 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 1: go on the road, and you got to take care 77 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 1: of him. So I can say I became a mother 78 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 1: at sixteen years old. I mean I feel like a 79 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,680 Speaker 1: lot younger, you know, because of my other siblings. But 80 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,320 Speaker 1: with Johnny, it was like the first time my mom said, 81 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 1: here you go, you're old enough. 82 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:19,480 Speaker 2: You need to help me. 83 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,160 Speaker 1: Because her career was just even with Jennika, and I 84 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,920 Speaker 1: remember when she got pregnant with Jenica. I walked into 85 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,200 Speaker 1: the room and she was crying. She was like pulling 86 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 1: her hair, and I'm. 87 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:29,600 Speaker 2: Like, mom, what's wrong. 88 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:31,960 Speaker 1: I was, of course very worried, and she just said, 89 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:35,000 Speaker 1: you know, I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do. 90 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 1: My career is doing so well, like this is gonna, 91 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: you know, slow me down. And I was like, mom, 92 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 1: it's okay, it's a blessing and I'll help you. And 93 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 1: so she felt better about it. Even with Johnny, she 94 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,120 Speaker 1: was not planning on getting pregnant. It just happened with 95 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 1: both of them. I think, honestly, with all of us 96 00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:55,240 Speaker 1: except Mikey was the only plan and quote unquote wanted child. 97 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,320 Speaker 1: And she'll say this herself, I'm not saying anything that 98 00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:59,560 Speaker 1: you know, she wouldn't have said, and she hasn't said 99 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 1: in her book. I mean, these are the conversations we 100 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,359 Speaker 1: had and she was very honest. So I'm being honest 101 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:09,680 Speaker 1: with you guys, and anyways, so that's all I've ever known. Okay, 102 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 1: So I was twenty six when my mom passed away, 103 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:14,799 Speaker 1: and her and I weren't on speaking terms. 104 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:15,599 Speaker 2: Again. 105 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:16,920 Speaker 1: If you guys want to know a little bit more 106 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 1: in detail. I talk about these two things, but everything 107 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: actually in both my books, Forgiveness and Unstoppable, having in 108 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: Spanish as well. So it was really nothing new to 109 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,599 Speaker 1: me because I've always been that second mother to my siblings. 110 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,920 Speaker 1: So when my mom passed away, I just didn't know. 111 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:35,640 Speaker 1: I felt like I was starting a new life without 112 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:39,520 Speaker 1: my mother, without my siblings, and there was no communication whatsoever. 113 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,160 Speaker 1: I think it within those two months, Johnny snook to 114 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 1: see me, I think like once or twice. 115 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 2: It was just really difficult. It was a really difficult 116 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 2: time for me. 117 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 1: So when we got the news that my mom had passed, 118 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:52,479 Speaker 1: I got a phone call when I was driving from 119 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:53,920 Speaker 1: because I was in Vegas. When I found out my 120 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,400 Speaker 1: mom had passed away, I was in Vegas and they said, 121 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,720 Speaker 1: you know, come to your grandma's house. 122 00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:58,840 Speaker 2: She lived in Lakewood. 123 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 1: That's about four hours away driving. So I said, okay, 124 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:06,360 Speaker 1: you know, come to your grandma's house. They can't find 125 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:10,480 Speaker 1: your mom's plane. I honestly like, I've never driven so fast. 126 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,760 Speaker 1: You guys, again, that's another thing I don't recommend. Be 127 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:14,359 Speaker 1: safe where your seat belt. You guys know how I 128 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:16,840 Speaker 1: am I always say it, but it was just a 129 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 1: horrible moment. I was driving to my grandma's house, thinking 130 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:22,160 Speaker 1: are they going to accept me? Are they going to 131 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 1: talk to me? How am I going to feel? I 132 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:27,280 Speaker 1: haven't talked to the kids, like, I felt so weird. 133 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: There were so many things going on emotionally and mentally. 134 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,599 Speaker 1: And then I got a call from Jenica and she said, sister, 135 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:36,040 Speaker 1: where are you? And I said, I'm on my way. 136 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:36,719 Speaker 2: Are you okay? 137 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:39,840 Speaker 1: She said no, I need you here. We need you here, 138 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 1: please please come. So that just, honestly just I don't 139 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,000 Speaker 1: know if it was my mom or God's sending me that, 140 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:50,400 Speaker 1: but it just automatically that moment was like, Okay, I 141 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:52,120 Speaker 1: need to be strong for my siblings. I don't know 142 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 1: if my mom's coming back. I hope she does, but 143 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:57,159 Speaker 1: with that phone call, it just made me feel powerful, 144 00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:00,440 Speaker 1: like invincible. I'm like, Okay, I got to tough up, 145 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 1: I got to put on my big girl panties and 146 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,120 Speaker 1: I gotta go save these kids. In some ways what 147 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:06,880 Speaker 1: I felt like I was their hero and it just 148 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,000 Speaker 1: made me feel like Popeye, you know what I mean. 149 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,640 Speaker 1: Like I was like, Okay, I gotta be strong, and 150 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,120 Speaker 1: it gave me that strength, and it gave me that 151 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:14,160 Speaker 1: confidence to walk into my grandma's house and say, I 152 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 1: don't give a shit what anyone thinks about me or 153 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 1: has to say. I'm here for these kids, like my mama. 154 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:21,960 Speaker 1: Mode just went in like on high gear, you guys, 155 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,760 Speaker 1: and I didn't care. I walked in and everyone was 156 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:27,680 Speaker 1: really nice. Everyone obviously were all worried going through like 157 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:31,000 Speaker 1: our own emotions, you know, And anyways, I was there 158 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:33,160 Speaker 1: and I did not leave their side. We were at 159 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 1: my grandma's house, you guys, for two weeks. Johnny and 160 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:40,080 Speaker 1: I slept on the floor in my grandpa's office and 161 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,200 Speaker 1: we just slept there and it was a bunch of us. 162 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 1: It was chaotic, people playing my mom's music outside. There 163 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 1: were so many fans, which was beautiful, but it was 164 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 1: just so crazy. It was just a time that was 165 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,800 Speaker 1: just I don't know, I don't remember every detail because 166 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,600 Speaker 1: it's kind of like a blur, but I do remember 167 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,520 Speaker 1: holding on to Johnny. He was eleven at the time 168 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,760 Speaker 1: and Jenica was fifteen, and I just felt that I 169 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,520 Speaker 1: needed to be there for them, that I didn't need 170 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,760 Speaker 1: to be there for my other siblings because obviously, you know, 171 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 1: we were all going through some type of horrible pain 172 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,400 Speaker 1: and you know what I mean. But I just felt 173 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 1: like they need to be there for Johnny and Jenica. 174 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:12,680 Speaker 1: And anyways, I had my own little apartment. It wasn't 175 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:14,080 Speaker 1: even an apartment, you guys. I think I've told you 176 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 1: guys before. I lived in a garage. It was a 177 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 1: garage that was converted into a one bedroom and that 178 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 1: was where I converted the one bedroom to my closet, 179 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 1: and then I slept in the living room slash kitchen area. 180 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,200 Speaker 1: I was so crazy, but anyways, that's where I lived. 181 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 1: I was starting a new life. I was taking therapy 182 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:37,480 Speaker 1: twice a week during that time, so I felt stronger. 183 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 1: I felt like okay, I kind of was asimland and 184 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:45,400 Speaker 1: then then just came and just out of left field, 185 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 1: and I didn't know what to do. We didn't talk 186 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 1: about it during those two weeks after we buried my mom. 187 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:54,560 Speaker 1: That's when the conversation happened where Johnny's like, are you 188 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:55,400 Speaker 1: going to live with us? 189 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:56,600 Speaker 2: Are you going to move back in? 190 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 1: And I, honestly I was like thought about it a 191 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:03,239 Speaker 1: little bit because I didn't want to be intrusive or invasive, 192 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:06,200 Speaker 1: because I still hadn't had that conversation with my mom, 193 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:08,839 Speaker 1: and I never was I was never going to be 194 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:09,800 Speaker 1: able to have that conversation. 195 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,200 Speaker 2: So I just felt like weird. It was just awkward. 196 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 1: But I knew in my heart that what she needed 197 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,640 Speaker 1: and expected for me and what she had prepared me 198 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,400 Speaker 1: my entire life. You guys, now that I look back, 199 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 1: I was like, she was preparing me for that moment, 200 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 1: For this moment, I knew I had to be there 201 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 1: for my siblings. So I was so comfortable in my 202 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 1: little place. I had already had like my own little routine. 203 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:34,079 Speaker 1: I had just opened up blow me dry my salon 204 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 1: and everything was put on hold. Thank god, I had 205 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,559 Speaker 1: a lease I think of two years, and the lady 206 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,320 Speaker 1: was so sweet and she let me break it. She 207 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,560 Speaker 1: was really sad that I was leaving. And I moved 208 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:48,440 Speaker 1: in back into Ournsino home with the kids, and I 209 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:51,640 Speaker 1: believe my brother Mikey was living there at the time 210 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,840 Speaker 1: in my old room what used to be my old room. 211 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 1: So I moved into what used to be Jackie's old room. 212 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,080 Speaker 1: That was a little weird, but I was like, okay, whatever, 213 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,720 Speaker 1: I don't care. I'm not gonna kick my brother out. 214 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,440 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. I tried, but he was not 215 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:03,920 Speaker 1: having it. 216 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:04,960 Speaker 2: He's like no. 217 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 1: So I stayed in Jackie's room and I made it 218 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:14,320 Speaker 1: my little home, and I was there for my siblings. 219 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 1: In the will, my mom left Rosie, her sister, as 220 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 1: the guardian of the kids. I think more than anything, 221 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,600 Speaker 1: because I was disinherited. That didn't hurt me. I was 222 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:34,760 Speaker 1: like me, Mama, mincegn I'll be fine. I wanted my kids, 223 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:37,160 Speaker 1: my kids here, I go see, it just comes out naturally, 224 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,839 Speaker 1: my siblings. I wanted my siblings to be okay. But 225 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:43,400 Speaker 1: that hurt me. When I saw that the person that 226 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 1: was the guardian was Rosy, I was like so confused, 227 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:50,600 Speaker 1: you guys, I was like what, Like how there's no 228 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:54,079 Speaker 1: one on this earth, no one that will take care 229 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,200 Speaker 1: of those kids the way I will. So that's one 230 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: thing that I was very upset with my mom for 231 00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 1: a long time, and I will admit it. I was upset. 232 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:05,400 Speaker 1: I was holding some type of resentment. Twenty thirteen, you guys, 233 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,360 Speaker 1: was the fucking hardest year of my life because I 234 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:09,640 Speaker 1: went through I missed my mom. 235 00:11:09,679 --> 00:11:11,079 Speaker 2: I wish I could talk to her. I was upset 236 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 2: with her. 237 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:15,120 Speaker 1: I couldn't believe that she had left this mess and 238 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,439 Speaker 1: I had to pick it up and it was hard, 239 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:21,280 Speaker 1: so hard, So I didn't say anything. I said, that's fine. 240 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,720 Speaker 1: I don't need a piece of paper to freaking tell 241 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:25,599 Speaker 1: me that these are my children, that I'm going to 242 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:27,160 Speaker 1: take care of them, that I'm the only one that 243 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,040 Speaker 1: knows what they like to eat, what they don't like, 244 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:31,559 Speaker 1: how to like get through to Johnny, because Johnny has 245 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:34,840 Speaker 1: always been somewhat of a difficult child, and he only 246 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 1: listened to me, So I was like, fine. So Rosie 247 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,000 Speaker 1: lived in the home because you know, on the will 248 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,080 Speaker 1: it said that the guardian had to live where the 249 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,720 Speaker 1: children lived, so they moved in. Her and her husband 250 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:47,920 Speaker 1: and her children moved into my mom's house and we 251 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,880 Speaker 1: all lived together for about a year. That was very hard, 252 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 1: very very hard, because I wasn't used to it. Obviously, 253 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:56,640 Speaker 1: I hadn't talked to my mom. I didn't know how 254 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,160 Speaker 1: things were running in the house. I just knew how 255 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,840 Speaker 1: I did things. And then Rosie was there, but she 256 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,800 Speaker 1: was pretty respectful as to like allowing me to do 257 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:06,080 Speaker 1: things in the house the way they needed to be 258 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,960 Speaker 1: done and with the kids. She never really got in 259 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 1: the middle of that and we try to live there together, 260 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,880 Speaker 1: and it was I'm telling you, it was tough. And 261 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:19,679 Speaker 1: then taking the kids to school, and again I didn't 262 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:22,600 Speaker 1: even have to ever ask my mom for quote unquote 263 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 1: permission or like hey mom, like everyone knew me at school, 264 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,920 Speaker 1: like you know, with the kids, like I would take 265 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,520 Speaker 1: them to school, I would go to the teacher parent conferences, 266 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 1: to the open houses, to all of that. So on 267 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,960 Speaker 1: top of everything that I was going through in twenty thirteen, 268 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:40,200 Speaker 1: I had to deal with having Rosie have to ask 269 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,320 Speaker 1: her for permission, like hey, can you write me a letter? 270 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:43,760 Speaker 1: Can you go with me to the school, because I 271 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:46,080 Speaker 1: got to get john or Jenica and it was just 272 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,920 Speaker 1: it was too much, you guys. I was just like, 273 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,199 Speaker 1: oh my god, I couldn't. It was frustrating for me. 274 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:56,280 Speaker 1: And finally I asked her, Hey, I think it's time. 275 00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:58,200 Speaker 1: I think after like two years, I think she had 276 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:00,320 Speaker 1: already moved out. She lived at my mom's house with 277 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:03,079 Speaker 1: her family for about a year and then I'm like, hey, 278 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,960 Speaker 1: I don't like this, I'm not used to it. I 279 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:10,400 Speaker 1: want to petition to get custody of Johnny and Jenica. 280 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:14,240 Speaker 1: And she didn't even think about it twice. She said, Okay, yeah, 281 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:16,480 Speaker 1: that's fine. I said, oh, okay, well that was easy, 282 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,800 Speaker 1: you know. So I started the process. I asked for 283 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,560 Speaker 1: an attorney to help me, and it was I want 284 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:25,679 Speaker 1: to say, roughly about six months. I just wanted to 285 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:28,840 Speaker 1: have the freedom and the liberty to take these kids 286 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:33,440 Speaker 1: to their doctor's appointment to enroll them into school because 287 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,600 Speaker 1: I had to switch Jenica out of public school into 288 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,760 Speaker 1: like a private school because she was having a tough time. 289 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:41,240 Speaker 1: So it just made my life a lot easier. Jenica 290 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 1: was seventeen, so really I only like had custody of 291 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,400 Speaker 1: her for about a year because then as soon as 292 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,319 Speaker 1: she turned eighteen, she wanted to be independent, want to 293 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 1: move out or whatever, you know. But it was the 294 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:53,520 Speaker 1: best decision I have ever made. Again, like I said 295 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:55,959 Speaker 1: on my Instagram post, I didn't need a piece of 296 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,760 Speaker 1: paper to do what I knew my mom expected from 297 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,800 Speaker 1: me as her daughter and as the sister of these kids, 298 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,720 Speaker 1: and as like the second mother. But it just it 299 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:09,120 Speaker 1: felt really good to know that they were definitely, and 300 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,000 Speaker 1: I say that with all the confidence in the world 301 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:15,079 Speaker 1: in the best hands ever. I do wish my mom 302 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 1: would have left me as the guardian. I understand she 303 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,920 Speaker 1: was upset and she was going through her own feelings, 304 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,640 Speaker 1: and now I'm not upset now. I I have forgiven 305 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:26,360 Speaker 1: her were good, you know what I mean. But I 306 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:29,120 Speaker 1: did go through all those emotions. That's just how I felt, 307 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 1: you know. And you guys know I'm always very honest 308 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:34,160 Speaker 1: and transparent with you guys. But I'm glad that I 309 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,680 Speaker 1: fought in a way I didn't have to fight because 310 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:39,720 Speaker 1: Rosie knew. She always said, those kids are yours. In 311 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,800 Speaker 1: many ways, they're more yours than even your mom's because 312 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,360 Speaker 1: she was working and she didn't think about it. Now, 313 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,800 Speaker 1: I'll be honest, I don't think any of my family 314 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,920 Speaker 1: members had an issue, though. I think they knew like 315 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 1: I raised those kids, you know, especially Johnny Yo. I 316 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 1: think he was like two and a half years and old, 317 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,480 Speaker 1: and that was so hard, you guys. He just wanted 318 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,600 Speaker 1: his freaking bottle and it was just one damn bottle 319 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 1: that he want it all the time. So since he 320 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:03,800 Speaker 1: was little, he was just a creature of habit. Like 321 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:06,880 Speaker 1: he had one blanket that he would not let me wash. 322 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:09,080 Speaker 1: He would always carry it everywhere. He had that one 323 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,080 Speaker 1: bottle that had a big ass fucking hole because he'd 324 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,480 Speaker 1: liked to bite on it on the nipple, and it's 325 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:17,360 Speaker 1: stunk because he just wanted that bottle, that damn freaking blanket, 326 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 1: and I'll never forget. Maybe this is a little traumatizing, 327 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,360 Speaker 1: but the babysitter, because I did have people that would 328 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,320 Speaker 1: help me, because it was a lot, she gave it 329 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,160 Speaker 1: to him. I had hidden it, and she gave it 330 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,960 Speaker 1: to him. And I look back. One day he was 331 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,160 Speaker 1: in his car seat and I remember, tell me, give 332 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:32,560 Speaker 1: me your bottle. So he gave it to me and 333 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:34,360 Speaker 1: I threw it out of the window while we were driving. 334 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,960 Speaker 1: He said, I devastated him so much. But these are 335 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:40,000 Speaker 1: the things, you guys, that I did since I was little. 336 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:43,160 Speaker 1: I was a child raising a child. I was seventeen, 337 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:46,240 Speaker 1: eighteen years old trying to raise his kid. So the 338 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,640 Speaker 1: point is they're my kids, and I still feel that, 339 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,040 Speaker 1: and now that I think about it. 340 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,200 Speaker 2: Though, and I'm gonna be really honest. 341 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,920 Speaker 1: I was just telling Johnny the other day when I 342 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,640 Speaker 1: wrote the post, said it is fucking crazy to me 343 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,800 Speaker 1: that Rosie, who was also the t of my mom's 344 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:04,680 Speaker 1: estate for a while, never thought because I had sixty 345 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,760 Speaker 1: I believe it was sixty or ninety days when the 346 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,520 Speaker 1: trust in the will was given to us to her children, 347 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 1: and of course, you know, there was a I believe 348 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 1: in amendment there that took me out. You know, she 349 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,480 Speaker 1: had to show me those things. But I had the 350 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,280 Speaker 1: ninety days to fight it, and I didn't because I 351 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:22,480 Speaker 1: was like, I it's fine whatever, I'm gonna be all right, 352 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 1: and God is gonna help me because he knows my heart. 353 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,760 Speaker 1: He knows that I don't deserve this, but I'm gonna 354 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:30,720 Speaker 1: take it, you know what I mean. She knows everything 355 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:34,160 Speaker 1: that I did for my mother, and never did she think, Okay, 356 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,280 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do things right, or I'm gonna try to 357 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:39,240 Speaker 1: help her because that's maybe the right thing, or maybe 358 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:41,280 Speaker 1: I don't know. She didn't even think about it twice 359 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:46,400 Speaker 1: to give me custody or handover these two lives to 360 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,440 Speaker 1: me like nothing, you know what I mean. In a 361 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,360 Speaker 1: way makes me feel good because it's like she knew 362 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,560 Speaker 1: they're gonna be in the best hands. But I'm just 363 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,760 Speaker 1: like I think, I'm like, damn, that's crazy. 364 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:56,760 Speaker 2: I don't know. 365 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,960 Speaker 1: But the good thing is that that happened. I think 366 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,120 Speaker 1: I think I did a great job. I'm very, very 367 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:07,640 Speaker 1: very proud of my siblings. Johnny's twenty one and he's 368 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,280 Speaker 1: working for my mom's enterprises. He's so passionate about my 369 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:13,080 Speaker 1: mom's project. He's the one that runs my mom's Instagram, 370 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,639 Speaker 1: and I love to see them doing their things. You know, 371 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,720 Speaker 1: he went to school. He's gonna finish, hopefully, like to 372 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:21,679 Speaker 1: the LA Film and Production School, and he knows a 373 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:22,440 Speaker 1: lot about music. 374 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:23,080 Speaker 2: And I'm just so. 375 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,120 Speaker 1: Proud of the child that he is because losing his 376 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:29,200 Speaker 1: parents at eleven years old. To see the great heart 377 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:32,120 Speaker 1: that he has, and he's so intelligent. I'm not saying 378 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:33,879 Speaker 1: he's perfect. There are things that we still work on, 379 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,480 Speaker 1: like taking out the damn trash and I have to 380 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,800 Speaker 1: remind him to wash the dishes and stuff like that. 381 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,879 Speaker 1: But whatever, at the end of the day, he's a 382 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,159 Speaker 1: great kid. He still respects me very much. I have 383 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:45,080 Speaker 1: his location. I am that sister. I have Jenica's location too. 384 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,399 Speaker 1: I'd probably have Jackie and Mikey's if they'd allow it, 385 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:53,080 Speaker 1: but they don't. But I really think that my mom 386 00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:54,720 Speaker 1: and I, because I didn't do it myself. My mom 387 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,000 Speaker 1: and I did a pretty fucking great job with these kids. 388 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,240 Speaker 1: Jenica's doing her thing, you know what I mean. It's 389 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,119 Speaker 1: just something that makes me very proud. They were at 390 00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:04,960 Speaker 1: the house the other day, we were having a pool 391 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,160 Speaker 1: party and to see my sister with her kids, and 392 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,760 Speaker 1: just like I sit back and I look at my 393 00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:10,800 Speaker 1: family and I'm like, I know, my mom is so 394 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,600 Speaker 1: proud of us because we've been through hell and back 395 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,320 Speaker 1: and we're still okay and we're still united. And I 396 00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 1: pray to God that we continue to be that way 397 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,200 Speaker 1: because that's the best way that we can represent my mother, 398 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 1: and that's what I think she expects from us. Maybe 399 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:33,760 Speaker 1: there's someone here listening to Chicki's and chill and they 400 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:37,280 Speaker 1: want to know how to go about getting custody. Again, 401 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:39,320 Speaker 1: I can't give you, guys, like the legal advice because 402 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,240 Speaker 1: of course I'm not a lawyer or anything. But you know, 403 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:42,639 Speaker 1: I got a lawyer and I said, hey, I want 404 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,919 Speaker 1: to get custody, Like, can you guide me? You can 405 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:48,080 Speaker 1: also do it yourself, like online at your nearest courthouse, 406 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,960 Speaker 1: but an attorney, I feel like, you know, helps a 407 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,880 Speaker 1: little bit quicker. They know a lot more. But look 408 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,919 Speaker 1: as far as that goes, that's the best advice I 409 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,200 Speaker 1: can give you. That's what I did and be patient 410 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:02,439 Speaker 1: because it does take little bit of time and it 411 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,280 Speaker 1: is a big responsibility. I'm not going to tell you 412 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:08,399 Speaker 1: guys that it's just easy breezy, because it wasn't. I 413 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:14,120 Speaker 1: went through a lot, especially with Johnny. You know, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, 414 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,600 Speaker 1: sixteen years old, even seventeen and eighteen were tough, you guys. 415 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,520 Speaker 1: They were tough. I was trying to raise a boy. 416 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,200 Speaker 1: The only father figure that he had or the person 417 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,560 Speaker 1: that he respected was my ex boyfriend Angel. He still 418 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:27,920 Speaker 1: actually has communication with him, and that's the only father 419 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,840 Speaker 1: figure he had when it was a very short period 420 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,240 Speaker 1: of time, So it was tough. 421 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:31,840 Speaker 2: It was tough. 422 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:34,040 Speaker 1: I read a lot of books, but the one I 423 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:37,959 Speaker 1: remember is Parenting Teens for Dummies. Oh my gosh. It 424 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,000 Speaker 1: helped me so much because I didn't know I was 425 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:41,720 Speaker 1: like and I was so tough, you guys. 426 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:42,480 Speaker 2: I was tough. 427 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,639 Speaker 1: I was tough on Johnny. Jenica didn't give me too 428 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:49,760 Speaker 1: many problems until she got a little older. But with Johnny, 429 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,800 Speaker 1: I mean, raising a boy is tough and teaching him 430 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:54,760 Speaker 1: so many things, and I was hard. 431 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:56,160 Speaker 2: I was hard on him. 432 00:19:56,520 --> 00:20:00,920 Speaker 1: I did discipline him many times and I'm glad I did. 433 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,920 Speaker 1: And I learned very quickly that with Johnny, what worked 434 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:08,119 Speaker 1: best was taking away his electronics, taking away his phone, 435 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:12,480 Speaker 1: taking away his Xbox. I broke his Xbox once because 436 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:14,240 Speaker 1: he wasn't listening, he didn't clean his room, so I 437 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,960 Speaker 1: broke it. I even erased his Instagram once. You guys, 438 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 1: he had like over two hundred thousand followers or something 439 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,440 Speaker 1: like that. And I was that tough parent. I had 440 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:24,520 Speaker 1: no other choice. I had no other choice. I was 441 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,480 Speaker 1: a single mother trying to raise his kid, who obviously 442 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,359 Speaker 1: was going through a lot because he lost both his 443 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 1: parents at eleven. 444 00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:30,920 Speaker 2: Jenica was what No. 445 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,320 Speaker 1: Eleven, I don't remember, but regardless, they were young, so 446 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,520 Speaker 1: in my kinate they were going through their own things, 447 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 1: trying to navigate through life without their parents. But I 448 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,679 Speaker 1: had that schooling from my mom of Okay, this is 449 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:43,720 Speaker 1: what she went through, because she was like that with me. Yes, 450 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:46,320 Speaker 1: you were sexually abused Cheeky's, but I'm not going to 451 00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:48,520 Speaker 1: allow you to be a victim. Yes you are a victim, 452 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,560 Speaker 1: but I'm not going to allow you to victimize yourself. 453 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,919 Speaker 1: And that's kind of the type of tough love that 454 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,600 Speaker 1: I had with them. With especially with Johnny, It's like, Okay, 455 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,200 Speaker 1: we got to move on. There was something that my 456 00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:59,440 Speaker 1: mom was doing on Twitter, like a few months before 457 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 1: she passed away. She was using the hashtag life goes 458 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:05,520 Speaker 1: on a lot almost every other day. So that kind 459 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,159 Speaker 1: of helped me with them. Like Mom even said it 460 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,920 Speaker 1: like we have to be strong for her. We gotta 461 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,040 Speaker 1: if we fall, we gotta get up and dust ourselves off. 462 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,840 Speaker 1: It was just I had no other choice but to 463 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,640 Speaker 1: be that way to get us through what we were 464 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,719 Speaker 1: going through, especially me, Like I always say, if it 465 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,960 Speaker 1: wasn't for Johnny and Jenica, like I don't know what 466 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:26,040 Speaker 1: would have happened to me, sayada mibi like guada mevida 467 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,880 Speaker 1: if it wasn't for them, because they are my little 468 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:31,280 Speaker 1: life savers. They kept me alive, especially Johnny. Like Johnny 469 00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:33,960 Speaker 1: since I started my music career, was there and he's 470 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,560 Speaker 1: been my number one fan and his now gives me 471 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,360 Speaker 1: advice and tips and I listened to him because he's 472 00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:41,560 Speaker 1: so freaking talented, you know. So I was just telling 473 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:43,639 Speaker 1: Johnny the other day, I said him a message. I said, Papa, 474 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,880 Speaker 1: thank you so much for being there for me. He's 475 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,919 Speaker 1: been my little life partner since I could remember, you know, 476 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,800 Speaker 1: since he was a baby boy. He's been my little 477 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,600 Speaker 1: life partner, and he helped me grow up from a 478 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:57,040 Speaker 1: girl to a woman. They both did all my siblings 479 00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:58,760 Speaker 1: really and I don't know. I wouldn't change it. I 480 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:03,320 Speaker 1: wouldn't change it for anything. Only God knows why our 481 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,480 Speaker 1: life turned out this way and why we were dealt 482 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:09,280 Speaker 1: the hand that we were dealt. But our job is 483 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:12,960 Speaker 1: to represent our mother. And that's why for me it's 484 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,520 Speaker 1: so important as the eldest and I always say, like 485 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:18,680 Speaker 1: to keep us together and keep us united and stay strong. 486 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,520 Speaker 1: And that doesn't mean that we're not going to argue. 487 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 1: But I sent in our group message. We have a 488 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,439 Speaker 1: little family group match. It's called La bla ba is 489 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,480 Speaker 1: what we call our group message of my siblings and 490 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:28,760 Speaker 1: I and I sent them a message. 491 00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:30,200 Speaker 2: I was a little buzzed. Am I gonna? I was 492 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:30,720 Speaker 2: a little buzzed. 493 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,760 Speaker 1: I was at the bowling alley with Emilio and I 494 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,920 Speaker 1: got buzzed and I got really emotional. I'm like, dude, 495 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,119 Speaker 1: we have to stay strong because there's so much going on. 496 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:38,440 Speaker 2: You guys. 497 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,040 Speaker 1: I wish I could tell you how much is going 498 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,199 Speaker 1: on behind the scenes and how much it hurts me 499 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:47,800 Speaker 1: to see my siblings, especially Johnny and Jackie, you know, 500 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,480 Speaker 1: because they're the ones that work the most at the office, 501 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:54,720 Speaker 1: and to see Jackie cry and it freaking breaks my heart. 502 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 1: So I was telling them, like, I know we're going 503 00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,000 Speaker 1: through a lot. I know a lot of things are 504 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,720 Speaker 1: coming up to the CERA, things about the estate, and 505 00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,440 Speaker 1: things about my mom's businesses and just stuff that very 506 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 1: disappointing and disheartening things you guys that I'd rather us 507 00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:10,440 Speaker 1: keep to ourselves for now, you know, or I don't 508 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:12,439 Speaker 1: even know if we'll ever talk about this. But I 509 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:14,359 Speaker 1: was telling them, I'm like, you know, we have to 510 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:17,480 Speaker 1: stay strong. We're going to argue, We're going to have disagreements, 511 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,679 Speaker 1: but I am not going to allow you guys not 512 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,040 Speaker 1: to talk to each other for X amount of days. 513 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:23,800 Speaker 2: Like we need to fix the shit quick. 514 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,600 Speaker 1: Why Because I'm a prime example that my mom and 515 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,760 Speaker 1: I weren't able to speak. And time is of the essence. 516 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:33,679 Speaker 1: We don't know what tomorrow brings and the moment is now, 517 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,359 Speaker 1: That's what I was telling them. I was going on 518 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,520 Speaker 1: and on. I sent them like five voice notes really long. 519 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,760 Speaker 1: They all hated it, but they're like, yes, sister, yes, sister. 520 00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:41,800 Speaker 1: But I was in my feelings and I'm like, that's 521 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:45,040 Speaker 1: what it's about. It's just staying united and staying strong. 522 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,919 Speaker 1: And I always think of my mom because that's what 523 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,200 Speaker 1: she wants, that's what she expects. I know it. That's 524 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:54,240 Speaker 1: what she told me all the time. Don't be like 525 00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:57,280 Speaker 1: my siblings and I fighting. It is your responsibility and 526 00:23:57,320 --> 00:24:02,000 Speaker 1: I expect you to keep your siblings and your siblings together. 527 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,520 Speaker 1: And you, guys are all that you have at the 528 00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,159 Speaker 1: end of the day. She would always tell me that 529 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:09,960 Speaker 1: since I was little, you guys. Anyways, I wanted to 530 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:12,040 Speaker 1: share this with you guys because a lot of people 531 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,840 Speaker 1: asked me, a lot of people set me beautiful messages 532 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,480 Speaker 1: commenting on my post, and I just felt it in 533 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,439 Speaker 1: my heart to talk about it and to let you 534 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,240 Speaker 1: guys know that, Yeah, that's my life and it's part 535 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:25,120 Speaker 1: of my life and I love it and I really 536 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:27,720 Speaker 1: wouldn't change it. Obviously, if I could have my mom here, 537 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,600 Speaker 1: that'd be amazing. But even the argument that her and 538 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 1: I had two months before she passed, it's crazy, But 539 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,480 Speaker 1: even that was meant to happen the way it happened 540 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,200 Speaker 1: because I don't know if I would have been as strong. 541 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:43,080 Speaker 1: I feel like I was a few steps in the 542 00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:46,680 Speaker 1: healing process before everyone, my whole family, and of course 543 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:50,399 Speaker 1: I was going through a lot, but I felt like 544 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,959 Speaker 1: those two months gave me the time to kind of 545 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,520 Speaker 1: realize or prepare for what was coming, and I could 546 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:04,359 Speaker 1: be strong enough for my sibling. Everything happens for a reason, 547 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,960 Speaker 1: and God has a perfect plan and he knows why 548 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,920 Speaker 1: and he knows how. And I was one of those 549 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:13,640 Speaker 1: people that klam I was like, God, why is this happening? 550 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,359 Speaker 1: Why did you do this to me? Until I learned 551 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:19,280 Speaker 1: that it's not that life is happening to us, It's 552 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,520 Speaker 1: happening for us. Take some time to get to that 553 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,560 Speaker 1: point to really be like, oh, shoot. You look back 554 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,440 Speaker 1: and you're like, damn, I can't believe I was there. 555 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,560 Speaker 1: I can't believe I went through that, And you kind 556 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,920 Speaker 1: of chuckle a little bit, like damn. I really thought 557 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:34,320 Speaker 1: when I was going through it that I was never 558 00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 1: going to get out of it. And now you're looking 559 00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:39,719 Speaker 1: in from the outside and saying, damn, I'm here. And 560 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:42,160 Speaker 1: that's where I'm like, no one can tell me God 561 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,480 Speaker 1: doesn't exist a stronger force doesn't exist in this world 562 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:49,240 Speaker 1: because I have lived and have gone through and survived 563 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:52,880 Speaker 1: so much in my life that there's always something positive 564 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:56,879 Speaker 1: to look forward too. Thank you for always listening to me, 565 00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,399 Speaker 1: for being here with me, for supporting me on this 566 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,240 Speaker 1: podcast on Cheeks and Chill. It's it's been amazing you guys. 567 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:07,800 Speaker 1: This podcast has helped me so much, so much, and 568 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:11,320 Speaker 1: I'm getting emotional, but thank you, guys. Thank you, and 569 00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:13,239 Speaker 1: you guys know that I always have a quote for you. 570 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,760 Speaker 1: It is something that I always say with my siblings 571 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:23,879 Speaker 1: and I we may not have it all together, but 572 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,240 Speaker 1: together we have it all. 573 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,080 Speaker 2: I don't know what that means to you, but to 574 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,200 Speaker 2: me it means a lot. So there it is. That's 575 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:29,679 Speaker 2: the quote. 576 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:33,280 Speaker 1: Thank you for listening again, Los Romo E Los spro 577 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:37,080 Speaker 1: in Proximo Episode Deal the Cheekys and Chill. 578 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:44,320 Speaker 2: You guys, do. 579 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:48,840 Speaker 1: You need advice on love, relationships, health emails. I'm so 580 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:51,160 Speaker 1: excited to share with you that my Cheeky's and Chill 581 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:54,720 Speaker 1: podcast will have an extra episode drop each week. I'll 582 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,720 Speaker 1: be answering all your questions. Just leave me a voice 583 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:02,680 Speaker 1: message la better on Minday. All you have to do 584 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,440 Speaker 1: is go to speak pipe dot com, slash Cheekys and 585 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,440 Speaker 1: Chill Podcasts and record your questions. 586 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:08,720 Speaker 2: I can't wait to hear from you. 587 00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:17,280 Speaker 1: This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Microdura podcast Network. 588 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,480 Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow 589 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:23,200 Speaker 1: me Cheeky's That's c h i q u i s. 590 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:28,080 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 591 00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:30,800 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.