WEBVTT - Date This Eligible Divorced Dad Who Won The Bachelorette 0:00:14.600 --> 0:00:17.320 Hello, it's I Do Part two. I'm Jenny Garth that 0:00:17.360 --> 0:00:20.160 I'm here with the beautiful, lovely Janna Kramer. 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:20.960 My friend. 0:00:21.760 --> 0:00:26.240 He This is gonna be a fun chat because we 0:00:26.320 --> 0:00:29.800 have a newly I think not so newly, but a 0:00:29.840 --> 0:00:34.199 single man a coming on and we are going to 0:00:34.360 --> 0:00:36.800 just get to the bottom of what it's like to 0:00:36.800 --> 0:00:37.520 be a single guy. 0:00:38.320 --> 0:00:40.400 Yeah, because we always hear a lot from the single 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:44.120 women m M exactly, so it'll be nice to hear 0:00:44.159 --> 0:00:46.720 from him and what, you know, how things have been going, 0:00:46.760 --> 0:00:48.720 from his divorce and everything that he's been going through. 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:51.919 So it's a little a man's perspective, because. 0:00:51.680 --> 0:00:54.400 A man's perspective. We need it because I don't know. 0:00:54.680 --> 0:00:57.480 I certainly don't know what a man's looking for out there, 0:00:57.480 --> 0:00:59.560 and I'm sure a lot of women can relate if 0:00:59.560 --> 0:01:02.000 you're not out there, you know, dating and going through 0:01:02.000 --> 0:01:05.800 the apps and all that stuff. I'm so curious. Yeah, absolutely, 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:08.920 let's bring him in. Okay, let's do it today. We're 0:01:08.920 --> 0:01:10.600 going to chat with someone who is in their own 0:01:10.640 --> 0:01:13.280 I Do Part two era. You got to know this 0:01:13.360 --> 0:01:17.200 guy back on Season seven of the Bachelorette when he 0:01:17.280 --> 0:01:22.679 proposed to and married Ashley but like most of us 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:24.839 on this podcast, he got divorced a few years ago, 0:01:25.000 --> 0:01:27.080 and we're going to catch up with him and hear 0:01:27.120 --> 0:01:34.399 what's going on. Please welcome JP Rosenbaum Podcast. Hey, hey, okay, 0:01:34.480 --> 0:01:37.039 let's give our listeners a little background, if he would, 0:01:37.760 --> 0:01:40.080 in case they aren't huge Bachelor Nation fans and they 0:01:40.080 --> 0:01:43.720 live under a rock like me. You were a contestant 0:01:43.760 --> 0:01:47.040 on Ashley's season of The Bachelorette. Tell us a little 0:01:47.040 --> 0:01:50.960 bit about how long you guys were married and your 0:01:51.200 --> 0:01:53.120 sort of family as it turned out. 0:01:53.520 --> 0:01:56.560 Sure, so we met in twenty eleven on the show. 0:01:57.160 --> 0:02:01.640 We got married end of twenty twelve. We were married 0:02:01.800 --> 0:02:05.720 for about seven and a half years, happily had two 0:02:05.800 --> 0:02:08.519 kids who are now ten and a half and eight 0:02:08.520 --> 0:02:08.960 and a half. 0:02:09.200 --> 0:02:09.600 Wow. 0:02:10.040 --> 0:02:13.560 Yeah, we were living up in Jersey for a little bit, 0:02:13.600 --> 0:02:15.280 in New York for a little bit, moved down to 0:02:15.360 --> 0:02:19.799 Miami in the summer of twenty fourteen. And then I'm 0:02:19.840 --> 0:02:23.320 going to skip over a few years, but about about 0:02:23.320 --> 0:02:27.040 two weeks before COVID hit, we decided to get divorced. 0:02:27.120 --> 0:02:28.760 So, oh wow. 0:02:28.760 --> 0:02:33.240 February of twenty twenty. Is that about right? It's all a. 0:02:33.160 --> 0:02:37.000 Blurb, but yeah, what happened for COVID. Then if you guys, 0:02:37.080 --> 0:02:40.120 right before COVID you decided, did you guys separate and 0:02:40.280 --> 0:02:41.080 have two houses? 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:43.680 That kind of thing. So that was the tricky thing, right, 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:46.080 So the kids were coming back from school, how are 0:02:46.120 --> 0:02:48.280 we going to sell the house? There were all these things, 0:02:48.360 --> 0:02:52.040 all these unknown questions that we just kind of had 0:02:52.080 --> 0:02:55.760 to navigate. So no, I ended up moving into the 0:02:55.800 --> 0:03:01.240 guest room for six months on a place. We sold 0:03:01.280 --> 0:03:04.000 the house, I moved out, I found a place, and so, 0:03:04.800 --> 0:03:07.440 you know, it was it was an interesting year. 0:03:08.760 --> 0:03:13.040 But that was before because you guys, didn't you do 0:03:13.080 --> 0:03:18.359 a GMA about your I don't want to mispronounce the Giambret. Yeah, 0:03:18.600 --> 0:03:22.480 that was that was before so then because I'm like, 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:25.280 you guys were still technically married at that point, right, 0:03:25.320 --> 0:03:28.520 because it was did you guys get back together or 0:03:28.560 --> 0:03:28.960 what was that? 0:03:29.480 --> 0:03:34.119 So that was right before. So I we were away 0:03:34.400 --> 0:03:39.760 for our anniversary in December that in nineteen when I 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:43.320 had gotten sick, and so you know, it was obviously 0:03:43.360 --> 0:03:46.440 it was downward spiraling, but before that, but so I 0:03:46.480 --> 0:03:51.640 got sick and then two months later, three months later, 0:03:51.760 --> 0:03:54.800 we decided to get divorce. So it was it was 0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:57.480 a rough year, Like my mom was diagnosed with cancer, 0:03:57.560 --> 0:03:59.880 I had Giambaret, Like we decided to get divorced. It 0:03:59.920 --> 0:04:01.200 was a rough couple of years. 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:04.320 So what do you think, because Johnny and I were 0:04:04.320 --> 0:04:06.200 just talking about this, what do you think was the 0:04:06.240 --> 0:04:09.760 hardest year of marriage for you? Obviously the end was hard, 0:04:09.760 --> 0:04:11.480 but like when you can kind of look back, was like, 0:04:11.560 --> 0:04:13.440 was it the first year? Was it the second year? 0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:15.560 Like what was what was the hardest that you're like, 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:17.680 this is maybe you. 0:04:17.640 --> 0:04:23.240 Know, yeah, I think twenty nineteen, you know, the last 0:04:23.320 --> 0:04:26.240 year just because of everything that was going on in 0:04:26.279 --> 0:04:30.600 our lives. You know, we we were happy, but you know, 0:04:30.800 --> 0:04:33.680 kids came around and made things more difficult and we 0:04:33.720 --> 0:04:37.880 stopped talking, we stopped communicating, and that permeated every aspect 0:04:37.920 --> 0:04:40.640 of the marriage. And so, you know, the last year 0:04:40.880 --> 0:04:44.919 with with my mom, with my illness, then deciding to 0:04:44.920 --> 0:04:48.280 get divorced, it was and then and then COVID it 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:53.760 was all. The last year to two was certainly the hardest, 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:57.599 just because of the you know, the special circumstances of 0:04:57.920 --> 0:04:59.160 those two years. 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:01.800 Yeah, it's interesting too because you say the seven and 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:04.839 a half, it's like that seven year itch that like 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:07.200 that statistic. I don't even know what the statistic is 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:08.640 around it. I was just going to google it. But 0:05:09.080 --> 0:05:11.200 so many people it's like, all right, that's where it's 0:05:11.520 --> 0:05:14.000 the breaking point of their communication or the breaking point 0:05:14.040 --> 0:05:16.680 of what things are. It's like that, it's interesting. 0:05:16.960 --> 0:05:20.919 Wow, we've heard about that recently really. 0:05:22.240 --> 0:05:27.359 Like, of course, why did you guys stop talking? Like, 0:05:27.440 --> 0:05:30.040 what do you think from your perspective, was the initial 0:05:30.160 --> 0:05:33.640 like the communication breakdown? Why does that happen? 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:38.320 Yeah, that is very I have so much perspective now. 0:05:38.480 --> 0:05:41.680 You know, in the moment, you don't know why. You know, 0:05:41.880 --> 0:05:45.200 you just know that things are not working. You know 0:05:45.240 --> 0:05:49.560 that you start resenting each other and you start just 0:05:49.560 --> 0:05:52.039 just everything just starts breaking down. So, now that I've 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:55.640 had time to reflect and heal, and you know, I've 0:05:55.680 --> 0:06:00.200 done my own self healing and certainly spoken to therapist 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:04.280 and read a lot and way too many podcasts and 0:06:04.640 --> 0:06:08.760 gone down the Instagram rabbit holes, I think that, you know, 0:06:08.839 --> 0:06:13.640 the the baseline of it all is that we are 0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:18.960 very different people. We have very different perspectives on life 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:23.480 and so many aspects of life. We have different love languages, 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:27.160 we have different just we are just very different and 0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:31.760 that doesn't really mesh. And when you start butting heads 0:06:31.839 --> 0:06:37.000 on those things that don't mesh, it becomes very frustrating 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:40.240 and you don't know how to get past it, even 0:06:40.279 --> 0:06:42.080 if you're supposed to get past it, like you don't 0:06:42.080 --> 0:06:43.880 know how to process it. You don't know how to 0:06:43.960 --> 0:06:47.320 accept the other person's perspective, you don't how to understand 0:06:47.360 --> 0:06:51.000 the other person's perspective, and you just start butting heads 0:06:51.120 --> 0:06:53.200 and it becomes like, oh, here we go again, and 0:06:53.240 --> 0:06:56.680 we're not going to get anywhere, and you know and yeah, 0:06:56.720 --> 0:06:58.880 and it just goes around and round and round. And 0:06:59.040 --> 0:07:04.680 unless you are both the types of people that understand 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:08.880 what's going on, understand the problems, are motivated to fix 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:12.680 the problems, I think it can just spiral out of control. 0:07:12.960 --> 0:07:14.960 Then it becomes like I don't really care what you 0:07:15.000 --> 0:07:16.520 have to say because I know what you're going to 0:07:16.560 --> 0:07:18.920 say anyway, and I don't want to understand it because 0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:22.560 you don't understand me, and it just spirals into every 0:07:23.200 --> 0:07:24.720 aspect of the marriage. 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:27.560 What I find so interesting about that, though, is even 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:29.560 when you go into the next relationship, you have to 0:07:29.600 --> 0:07:31.400 still I mean, yeah, you know more things, you know 0:07:31.480 --> 0:07:35.640 more tools, and you know, you hopefully do the work individually, 0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:37.400 but then when you go into a new relationship too. 0:07:37.440 --> 0:07:39.280 I mean, just like we were talking about with you know, 0:07:39.800 --> 0:07:42.640 our husbands, it's like, you know, you still there's still 0:07:42.640 --> 0:07:46.160 things that come up. So it's like, what work are 0:07:46.240 --> 0:07:48.640 you going to put into to help with the communication, 0:07:48.720 --> 0:07:50.360 right because our styles are so different or we're both 0:07:50.360 --> 0:07:53.480 so stubborn and to go all right? Because the love 0:07:53.520 --> 0:07:55.640 is still there. So I wonder when you look back 0:07:55.720 --> 0:07:58.120 and go, now that I know all this, you know, 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:01.960 do you think you guys have because to my knowledge, 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:04.240 I don't remember there ever being some big scandal like that, 0:08:04.320 --> 0:08:06.560 namely cheated or there was like something really bad. So 0:08:06.600 --> 0:08:08.600 it's like, is the love still there? Would that have 0:08:08.680 --> 0:08:09.880 been maybe fixed? 0:08:10.440 --> 0:08:12.920 That's such a hard question to answer because at the 0:08:13.640 --> 0:08:16.520 core of it, like I said, we're just different and 0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:21.600 I don't know, you know, if if the me of 0:08:21.640 --> 0:08:24.080 today were the me of ten years ago, would it 0:08:24.120 --> 0:08:28.000 be different? Would she see things differently? Would I react differently? 0:08:28.080 --> 0:08:32.440 Like that is an endless thought cycle that I stopped 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:38.079 thinking about years ago because there I hate not having 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:41.959 an answer something that can't be answered, right, can't answer that, 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:45.760 Like I definitely would have been more prepared to deal 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:48.600 with it, and I certainly would have done more on 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:51.160 my end, knowing what I know now, But would it 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:56.160 have changed any result? I have no idea. You know, 0:08:57.240 --> 0:08:59.120 that's a tough one to answer. 0:09:00.320 --> 0:09:03.520 How are you guys doing now? Your co parenting, which 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:07.520 is a whole another type of relationship. I think Jane 0:09:07.559 --> 0:09:11.120 and I both know a lot about that, and it's 0:09:11.160 --> 0:09:13.959 not easy. It's not easy. How are you guys doing today? 0:09:14.120 --> 0:09:16.960 And how are you handling co parenting? And what would 0:09:17.000 --> 0:09:20.040 you tell somebody out there who's listening, who's in your 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:22.280 position and trying to co parent with somebody that is 0:09:22.559 --> 0:09:23.920 very different than they are. 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:27.600 Yeah, we're actually in a really great place right now, 0:09:28.559 --> 0:09:32.120 really great, And I will admit it took me a 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:33.520 long time to get there. 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:35.120 Like how long? 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:36.880 What was taking you so long to get there? 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:40.160 We have questions about what was it? How long? 0:09:40.600 --> 0:09:45.880 Yeah? Yeah, I was in a definitive like funk where 0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:50.920 it's like I'm mad, I resent. 0:09:50.600 --> 0:09:53.280 Her, like a defensive stance, all of. 0:09:53.240 --> 0:09:56.880 It, all of yeah, and even things where I didn't 0:09:56.920 --> 0:09:59.200 need to say no to her on I would do 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:01.800 it by like I was in a really bad place. 0:10:01.840 --> 0:10:04.319 She started dating something someone that got you know, that 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:07.160 made things even worse, And so I had my own 0:10:07.480 --> 0:10:11.320 going on, and so it was very difficult for me 0:10:12.240 --> 0:10:15.280 to get to that next place where I don't want 0:10:15.280 --> 0:10:18.160 to speak for her, but she was seemingly there much 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:22.320 quicker than I was, And so I would say it 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:26.280 took me a good at least two years. I mean 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:28.720 at least, you know, even when it came to dating. 0:10:28.800 --> 0:10:31.280 But that's a whole, other, whole other discussion. So it 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:35.959 took me a few years to get there. And you know, 0:10:36.160 --> 0:10:39.880 now we are at a place where I harbor no 0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:43.920 anxiety for it, no resentment. I'm not mad, I am 0:10:44.080 --> 0:10:47.120 I'm in a I'm in I'm in a really great place. 0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:48.320 When it comes to her and. 0:10:48.200 --> 0:10:49.800 She and I, do you think, what do you think 0:10:49.840 --> 0:10:52.520 it was though that made you be able to switch 0:10:52.640 --> 0:10:53.440 to this. 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:56.800 You turn the anger off? I guess yeah, I don't know. 0:10:57.640 --> 0:10:59.800 I mean, look, I have, like, I've done a lot 0:10:59.840 --> 0:11:03.880 of healing, right, I've spoken to therapists, I have read, 0:11:04.000 --> 0:11:06.960 I have listened to podcasts, I have reflected I have 0:11:07.559 --> 0:11:12.000 you know, I've changed my perception of it all and 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:16.880 what everything that I'm holding onto, what is it is? 0:11:16.880 --> 0:11:18.960 Any of it really hurt or is it all just me? 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:21.840 And unless I learned to let go of all that, 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:25.040 I'm never going to feel any better. And so it 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:26.920 wasn't as if I woke up one morning and I 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:28.520 was like, oh, I'm all better. You know. It was 0:11:28.640 --> 0:11:32.800 definitely the biggest cliche of them all time, like but time. 0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:34.920 You know, Yeah, I wish I could go back and 0:11:35.000 --> 0:11:38.440 tell me of three years ago, like, look, look where 0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:40.599 you are in three years from now. There is a 0:11:40.679 --> 0:11:42.200 light at the end of the tunnel, Like you don't 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:45.000 need to feel all this and just know that it 0:11:45.040 --> 0:11:45.800 will get better. 0:11:45.880 --> 0:11:49.960 So, yeah, I just have to go through it. You 0:11:50.000 --> 0:11:52.120 have to, you have to wage your way through it. 0:11:52.360 --> 0:11:53.840 But I think everybody's different. 0:11:54.160 --> 0:11:56.680 Yeah, And I think it's hard when there is someone 0:11:56.720 --> 0:11:59.600 else too, like another man around your kids, and you know, 0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:01.480 I'm it's hard for the woman too, and there's another 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:03.400 woman around the kids, and so I think that adds 0:12:03.400 --> 0:12:04.959 a whole other element. But then when you start to 0:12:05.000 --> 0:12:07.280 separate and go okay as long as they're loved, but 0:12:07.320 --> 0:12:10.880 if there's issues within that, then it just adds more complication. 0:12:11.480 --> 0:12:14.600 Yeah. I remember when they first started dating, I was like, 0:12:14.640 --> 0:12:16.560 I don't want him to come to any baseball games. 0:12:16.600 --> 0:12:19.079 I don't like no, no, no, no, no, ye, I 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:21.280 will make a scene like I was. It was ridiculous, 0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:23.520 you know. Now, like they've been together for for a 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:25.840 while and he's you know, the kids love him and 0:12:25.880 --> 0:12:27.520 his family's nice to the kids, and like it's a 0:12:27.600 --> 0:12:32.640 it's a good dynamic. So but but two three years ago, man, 0:12:32.760 --> 0:12:36.559 like no, I was you Yeah, but. 0:12:36.559 --> 0:12:38.520 I think that's a great place to be to be 0:12:38.520 --> 0:12:40.959 because it's like I have, you know, I know also 0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:43.920 that feeling of just being so angry. But then and 0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:45.960 another friend too that's dealing with it as well. That's 0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:48.080 like what is that actually doing for us? Like that's 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:50.840 not good for us. And there's no anything that I 0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:53.000 say to my act isn't going to change. He's not 0:12:53.040 --> 0:12:55.040 going to ever. He didn't understand me when we were married. 0:12:55.080 --> 0:12:58.200 It's not he's gonna understand me now post divorce, you know. 0:12:58.360 --> 0:13:00.959 So it's it's like, what why am I wasting my 0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:03.960 energy on something where it's like what is the point? 0:13:04.280 --> 0:13:04.439 Right? 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:07.440 No, I totally agree, Like I've explained it to some 0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:09.199 people who are like that, you know, the triggers are 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:12.120 still there. She's still her I just give less of 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:15.320 a now, and you know, and that's not going to change. 0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:17.480 So I just have to change. I just have to 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:19.600 think about it differently and process it differently, and I 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:22.720 can only control how I react, you know. 0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:25.439 So I like to do a lot of unsent messages 0:13:25.440 --> 0:13:27.360 and emails, Like I just wrote one the other day 0:13:27.360 --> 0:13:29.440 where it was just an email. I end up not 0:13:29.480 --> 0:13:31.120 sending it, but I needed to just say it out 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:32.679 loud because I know that what if I pressed and 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:34.880 he wouldn't care what I said, right, it doesn't it 0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:37.400 doesn't matter, but it mattered to me to get it out. 0:13:37.760 --> 0:13:38.720 Wait can you wait? 0:13:38.880 --> 0:13:40.360 Can you unsend emails? 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:41.920 I'm so curious what I'm saying, like, so I don't 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:44.200 actually press that. I just kind of write like a note, 0:13:44.360 --> 0:13:47.640 you know. I wish I could actually it's like a 0:13:47.679 --> 0:13:52.120 five appreciate Yeah, but that's these are we're talking years ago. 0:13:52.160 --> 0:13:55.559 I'd like to get rid of that evidence of anger. 0:13:55.960 --> 0:13:57.240 No, I think you're screwed. 0:13:57.840 --> 0:14:01.440 Thanks thanks a lot. Speaking of screw do are you 0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:04.120 dating anyone? 0:14:04.400 --> 0:14:09.080 Thank you? No? No, I I. 0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:11.440 You know there was a pause because it's a no no. 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:16.439 It's like I'm the team, but it's not there's no 0:14:16.480 --> 0:14:19.960 one serious. You know, I'm going through the motions of dating. 0:14:20.440 --> 0:14:24.200 Okay, wait, so this is exciting. You're dating? Are you 0:14:24.280 --> 0:14:25.160 on any apps? 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:28.160 Because I have to be Yeah, but which apps are 0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:30.040 you on? I'm curious? 0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:31.440 Why are you getting red? 0:14:31.800 --> 0:14:34.200 Because it sucks, like I feel, I. 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:36.760 Just every guy says this, by the way, it does. Yeah, 0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:39.640 really do you prefer hinge to bumble or bumble the hinge? 0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:46.040 I'm indifferent. I don't care. I think they are equally triggering. 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:50.160 They trap you, Like it's like nobody's serious. You know, 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:54.680 there's fake profiles, like everyone really endless options, so like 0:14:54.760 --> 0:14:56.920 no one really pays attention. So you kind of got 0:14:56.920 --> 0:15:00.680 to sift through the haystack to find the needle. And 0:15:00.720 --> 0:15:04.080 you know, every once in a while you meet someone 0:15:04.160 --> 0:15:07.520 that that that you know makes sense and then you 0:15:07.560 --> 0:15:12.440 can date. It is it's exhausting and it sucks. And 0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:15.400 not being from South Florida, from Miami, I don't exactly 0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:17.280 have a huge network and the age of at I 0:15:17.280 --> 0:15:20.360 don't exactly have a new huge network of friends and 0:15:20.440 --> 0:15:22.440 single friends. I want to set me up with friends 0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:24.400 and it's not like I'm going out to bars. I'm 0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:27.120 not you know, meeting people organically. I would love to 0:15:27.160 --> 0:15:27.480 do that. 0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:29.640 Well, it's also you're kind of limited to It's not 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:31.560 like you can move, right, So it's like I always 0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:33.960 when I started dating Alan, it's like I he lived 0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:35.840 in England, Like I can't move. I have to stay 0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:38.160 in Nashville. So that was kind of where when I was, 0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:40.920 you know, dating, it's like it if it doesn't make sense, 0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:43.440 like why continue on? You know, because it's like if 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:46.440 this person is landlocked there and I'm landlocked here, what 0:15:46.600 --> 0:15:47.400 is actually the point? 0:15:47.760 --> 0:15:48.520 Right? Totally? 0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:50.520 You know, So it's like when you're on there, it's 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:53.760 like how you know, it's like you obviously wouldn't move 0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:55.800 from your kids there at a beautiful fun age, like 0:15:55.840 --> 0:15:57.120 you wouldn't move. 0:15:57.480 --> 0:15:59.280 Yeah, not until college. 0:15:59.160 --> 0:16:00.920 Right, that's a while. That's a while. 0:16:01.240 --> 0:16:01.440 Yeah. 0:16:01.640 --> 0:16:02.600 How old are the kids? 0:16:02.960 --> 0:16:04.280 Ten and a half and eight and a half? 0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:07.720 Yeah, yeah, you're stuck there for a while. So you 0:16:07.760 --> 0:16:09.520 don't have a lot of friends that are setting you up, 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:11.760 so talk to us. I don't know, Jane, have you 0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:12.840 ever been on a dating app? 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:15.680 I was on Riyah. You're on Riah Okay, yeah, but 0:16:15.720 --> 0:16:17.720 that app was ridiculous, ridiculous. 0:16:18.040 --> 0:16:21.960 It was just a funny Riya story. My ex husband, 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:26.000 Peter uh Was, I was told was on Ria and 0:16:26.240 --> 0:16:31.160 his age whatever range that he was looking for was 0:16:31.240 --> 0:16:34.320 also the age range of his oldest daughter. So she 0:16:35.200 --> 0:16:50.200 they came, she came across him on her thing. Stop. Yeah, no, okay, 0:16:50.240 --> 0:16:52.600 So what's your what's your age limit? I don't know 0:16:52.600 --> 0:16:52.880 how it. 0:16:52.840 --> 0:16:56.800 Works, so I'm pretty be honest. 0:16:57.960 --> 0:17:00.840 After that story, you can ask me anything. 0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:03.640 I'm an open book. I'm thirty two to my age 0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:06.560 I'm forty eight, so I'm all over the place, but 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:13.720 only because it's a needle in a haystack. And you know, technically, 0:17:13.760 --> 0:17:16.760 if you make the haystack bigger than needles. 0:17:17.119 --> 0:17:21.360 Do you believe the age is just a number? Do 0:17:21.440 --> 0:17:23.720 you date older women? These are two questions. 0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:27.879 Let's attack the first one. So it depends where you 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:32.360 are in life, right. I think that you can certainly 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:36.040 fall in love with with with a woman that's you know, 0:17:37.119 --> 0:17:41.000 significantly younger. But you know, if she hasn't been through 0:17:41.040 --> 0:17:44.040 a lot from a relationship standpoint, if she wants a family, 0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:46.640 if she doesn't have her career is not getting going yet, 0:17:46.640 --> 0:17:49.399 like there's there. It depends where you are, Like the 0:17:49.480 --> 0:17:52.040 timing has to be right, and then age is but 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:54.240 a number if that makes sense. 0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:57.159 Would you like the person to be a mom or 0:17:57.240 --> 0:17:57.720 does that not? 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:01.560 I think it helps, but it's not a prerequisite. Like 0:18:01.720 --> 0:18:02.520 I think it helps. 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:06.280 What have you met somebody that had like five kids? 0:18:07.400 --> 0:18:09.159 Do I have to support them? Because if I have 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:11.439 to support them, then it's probably a hard no. But 0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:16.239 it depends on the dynamic too. Right is she a 0:18:16.240 --> 0:18:18.439 full time mom? Does she has the all five kids 0:18:18.560 --> 0:18:20.760 the entire time? Is it fifty to fifty? So there 0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:23.080 are so many factors, Like I don't want to rule 0:18:23.119 --> 0:18:27.880 people out, but that's I mean a single moms are 0:18:28.320 --> 0:18:31.280 the hardest working people I know. And so if the 0:18:31.359 --> 0:18:33.520 father's not in the picture and she doesn't have help, 0:18:33.600 --> 0:18:36.680 like that's hard to navigate, right, you know, Like how 0:18:36.760 --> 0:18:39.359 is she ever going to have enough time for us 0:18:39.480 --> 0:18:42.880 when she has that? So there are so many factors 0:18:42.920 --> 0:18:44.879 And I don't like to pigeonhole and I don't have 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:48.080 checklists and I don't have any of that. It's kind 0:18:48.080 --> 0:18:50.800 of you have to play it by year and see 0:18:51.480 --> 0:18:53.840 see who this person really is and what they can 0:18:53.880 --> 0:18:54.440 offer and what. 0:18:54.480 --> 0:18:56.680 We talked about younger, But you didn't talk about older 0:18:56.760 --> 0:18:57.879 yet JP, I'm waiting. 0:18:58.680 --> 0:19:00.760 I mean, I think he said to his age, right, 0:19:00.840 --> 0:19:02.800 how do you that's my age forty eight? 0:19:03.240 --> 0:19:05.480 Yeah, but would you date older? 0:19:05.880 --> 0:19:11.120 I don't know. Again, I think it's it's not a no. Look, 0:19:11.200 --> 0:19:13.840 I don't I don't rule anything out because people are people. 0:19:13.880 --> 0:19:17.840 I like if I'm exposed to an older woman and 0:19:18.200 --> 0:19:22.400 we click, like sure, but there's not much much exposure 0:19:22.440 --> 0:19:25.240 to it given I guess how I'm meeting people, and 0:19:25.960 --> 0:19:28.200 you know, I'm not in a position where I'm meeting, 0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:31.040 you know, a fifty five sixty year old woman. It 0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:33.879 just doesn't happen. So am I opposed to it? I 0:19:33.880 --> 0:19:36.439 don't like to say no, but you know, you never know. 0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:39.800 I guess I feel a little excited because I feel 0:19:39.840 --> 0:19:41.800 like we've got a lot of listeners out there who 0:19:41.800 --> 0:19:42.680 are looking for love. 0:19:43.440 --> 0:19:45.679 Maybe there's also a lot of people too in the 0:19:46.080 --> 0:19:47.879 you know, Miami Ish area. 0:19:48.400 --> 0:19:51.160 It's a disaster, really disaster. 0:19:51.760 --> 0:19:54.119 What makes it exact because I'm like, man, there's so 0:19:54.119 --> 0:19:57.560 many people that go there that you could that well, let's. 0:19:57.359 --> 0:19:59.359 Just put it this way. It's the only fans capital 0:19:59.359 --> 0:20:04.040 of the world. There's a lot of that around. Like 0:20:04.119 --> 0:20:07.680 I'm not a Miami beach guy either. I'm in the suburbs. 0:20:07.680 --> 0:20:11.359 I'm on the mainland, so I don't know. I feel 0:20:11.400 --> 0:20:14.119 like there is a lot more. And I'm sure every 0:20:14.160 --> 0:20:16.120 major city has this, but i just feel like there's 0:20:16.160 --> 0:20:22.480 a lot more superficial bullsh to navigate in Miami. So 0:20:22.720 --> 0:20:24.800 it's not as easy as one might think. 0:20:25.400 --> 0:20:28.200