1 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 1: Hello, it's I Do Part two. I'm Jenny Garth that 2 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 1: I'm here with the beautiful, lovely Janna Kramer. 3 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:20,960 Speaker 2: My friend. 4 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:26,240 Speaker 1: He This is gonna be a fun chat because we 5 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:29,800 Speaker 1: have a newly I think not so newly, but a 6 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:34,199 Speaker 1: single man a coming on and we are going to 7 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 1: just get to the bottom of what it's like to 8 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:37,520 Speaker 1: be a single guy. 9 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:40,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, because we always hear a lot from the single 10 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 2: women m M exactly, so it'll be nice to hear 11 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:46,720 Speaker 2: from him and what, you know, how things have been going, 12 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,720 Speaker 2: from his divorce and everything that he's been going through. 13 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:51,919 Speaker 2: So it's a little a man's perspective, because. 14 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 1: A man's perspective. We need it because I don't know. 15 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,480 Speaker 1: I certainly don't know what a man's looking for out there, 16 00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 1: and I'm sure a lot of women can relate if 17 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,000 Speaker 1: you're not out there, you know, dating and going through 18 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:05,800 Speaker 1: the apps and all that stuff. I'm so curious. Yeah, absolutely, 19 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 1: let's bring him in. Okay, let's do it today. We're 20 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 1: going to chat with someone who is in their own 21 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 1: I Do Part two era. You got to know this 22 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:17,200 Speaker 1: guy back on Season seven of the Bachelorette when he 23 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:22,679 Speaker 1: proposed to and married Ashley but like most of us 24 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:24,839 Speaker 1: on this podcast, he got divorced a few years ago, 25 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 1: and we're going to catch up with him and hear 26 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:34,399 Speaker 1: what's going on. Please welcome JP Rosenbaum Podcast. Hey, hey, okay, 27 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:37,039 Speaker 1: let's give our listeners a little background, if he would, 28 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 1: in case they aren't huge Bachelor Nation fans and they 29 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 1: live under a rock like me. You were a contestant 30 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:47,040 Speaker 1: on Ashley's season of The Bachelorette. Tell us a little 31 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 1: bit about how long you guys were married and your 32 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,120 Speaker 1: sort of family as it turned out. 33 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 3: Sure, so we met in twenty eleven on the show. 34 00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:01,640 Speaker 3: We got married end of twenty twelve. We were married 35 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 3: for about seven and a half years, happily had two 36 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:08,519 Speaker 3: kids who are now ten and a half and eight 37 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:08,960 Speaker 3: and a half. 38 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:09,600 Speaker 1: Wow. 39 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, we were living up in Jersey for a little bit, 40 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 3: in New York for a little bit, moved down to 41 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:19,799 Speaker 3: Miami in the summer of twenty fourteen. And then I'm 42 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 3: going to skip over a few years, but about about 43 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 3: two weeks before COVID hit, we decided to get divorced. 44 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:28,760 Speaker 1: So, oh wow. 45 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:33,240 Speaker 3: February of twenty twenty. Is that about right? It's all a. 46 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 1: Blurb, but yeah, what happened for COVID. Then if you guys, 47 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:40,120 Speaker 1: right before COVID you decided, did you guys separate and 48 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:41,080 Speaker 1: have two houses? 49 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,680 Speaker 3: That kind of thing. So that was the tricky thing, right, 50 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:46,080 Speaker 3: So the kids were coming back from school, how are 51 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 3: we going to sell the house? There were all these things, 52 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:52,040 Speaker 3: all these unknown questions that we just kind of had 53 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:55,760 Speaker 3: to navigate. So no, I ended up moving into the 54 00:02:55,800 --> 00:03:01,240 Speaker 3: guest room for six months on a place. We sold 55 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,000 Speaker 3: the house, I moved out, I found a place, and so, 56 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 3: you know, it was it was an interesting year. 57 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 2: But that was before because you guys, didn't you do 58 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:18,359 Speaker 2: a GMA about your I don't want to mispronounce the Giambret. Yeah, 59 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 2: that was that was before so then because I'm like, 60 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 2: you guys were still technically married at that point, right, 61 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 2: because it was did you guys get back together or 62 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:28,960 Speaker 2: what was that? 63 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:34,119 Speaker 3: So that was right before. So I we were away 64 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:39,760 Speaker 3: for our anniversary in December that in nineteen when I 65 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:43,320 Speaker 3: had gotten sick, and so you know, it was obviously 66 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 3: it was downward spiraling, but before that, but so I 67 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:51,640 Speaker 3: got sick and then two months later, three months later, 68 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:54,800 Speaker 3: we decided to get divorce. So it was it was 69 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,480 Speaker 3: a rough year, Like my mom was diagnosed with cancer, 70 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,880 Speaker 3: I had Giambaret, Like we decided to get divorced. It 71 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 3: was a rough couple of years. 72 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:04,320 Speaker 2: So what do you think, because Johnny and I were 73 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 2: just talking about this, what do you think was the 74 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 2: hardest year of marriage for you? Obviously the end was hard, 75 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 2: but like when you can kind of look back, was like, 76 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,440 Speaker 2: was it the first year? Was it the second year? 77 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,560 Speaker 2: Like what was what was the hardest that you're like, 78 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,680 Speaker 2: this is maybe you. 79 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:23,240 Speaker 3: Know, yeah, I think twenty nineteen, you know, the last 80 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,240 Speaker 3: year just because of everything that was going on in 81 00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:30,600 Speaker 3: our lives. You know, we we were happy, but you know, 82 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 3: kids came around and made things more difficult and we 83 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 3: stopped talking, we stopped communicating, and that permeated every aspect 84 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,640 Speaker 3: of the marriage. And so, you know, the last year 85 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,919 Speaker 3: with with my mom, with my illness, then deciding to 86 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:48,280 Speaker 3: get divorced, it was and then and then COVID it 87 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 3: was all. The last year to two was certainly the hardest, 88 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 3: just because of the you know, the special circumstances of 89 00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:59,160 Speaker 3: those two years. 90 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's interesting too because you say the seven and 91 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:04,839 Speaker 2: a half, it's like that seven year itch that like 92 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 2: that statistic. I don't even know what the statistic is 93 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 2: around it. I was just going to google it. But 94 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,200 Speaker 2: so many people it's like, all right, that's where it's 95 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 2: the breaking point of their communication or the breaking point 96 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,680 Speaker 2: of what things are. It's like that, it's interesting. 97 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:20,919 Speaker 3: Wow, we've heard about that recently really. 98 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:27,359 Speaker 1: Like, of course, why did you guys stop talking? Like, 99 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,040 Speaker 1: what do you think from your perspective, was the initial 100 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 1: like the communication breakdown? Why does that happen? 101 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, that is very I have so much perspective now. 102 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,680 Speaker 3: You know, in the moment, you don't know why. You know, 103 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 3: you just know that things are not working. You know 104 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:49,560 Speaker 3: that you start resenting each other and you start just 105 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,039 Speaker 3: just everything just starts breaking down. So, now that I've 106 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:55,640 Speaker 3: had time to reflect and heal, and you know, I've 107 00:05:55,680 --> 00:06:00,200 Speaker 3: done my own self healing and certainly spoken to therapist 108 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:04,280 Speaker 3: and read a lot and way too many podcasts and 109 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 3: gone down the Instagram rabbit holes, I think that, you know, 110 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:13,640 Speaker 3: the the baseline of it all is that we are 111 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 3: very different people. We have very different perspectives on life 112 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:23,480 Speaker 3: and so many aspects of life. We have different love languages, 113 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:27,160 Speaker 3: we have different just we are just very different and 114 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 3: that doesn't really mesh. And when you start butting heads 115 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 3: on those things that don't mesh, it becomes very frustrating 116 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 3: and you don't know how to get past it, even 117 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 3: if you're supposed to get past it, like you don't 118 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 3: know how to process it. You don't know how to 119 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:47,320 Speaker 3: accept the other person's perspective, you don't how to understand 120 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 3: the other person's perspective, and you just start butting heads 121 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 3: and it becomes like, oh, here we go again, and 122 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 3: we're not going to get anywhere, and you know and yeah, 123 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,880 Speaker 3: and it just goes around and round and round. And 124 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:04,680 Speaker 3: unless you are both the types of people that understand 125 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 3: what's going on, understand the problems, are motivated to fix 126 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:12,680 Speaker 3: the problems, I think it can just spiral out of control. 127 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 3: Then it becomes like I don't really care what you 128 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,520 Speaker 3: have to say because I know what you're going to 129 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 3: say anyway, and I don't want to understand it because 130 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:22,560 Speaker 3: you don't understand me, and it just spirals into every 131 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,720 Speaker 3: aspect of the marriage. 132 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 2: What I find so interesting about that, though, is even 133 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,560 Speaker 2: when you go into the next relationship, you have to 134 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 2: still I mean, yeah, you know more things, you know 135 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 2: more tools, and you know, you hopefully do the work individually, 136 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 2: but then when you go into a new relationship too. 137 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 2: I mean, just like we were talking about with you know, 138 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,640 Speaker 2: our husbands, it's like, you know, you still there's still 139 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 2: things that come up. So it's like, what work are 140 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,640 Speaker 2: you going to put into to help with the communication, 141 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 2: right because our styles are so different or we're both 142 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 2: so stubborn and to go all right? Because the love 143 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 2: is still there. So I wonder when you look back 144 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:58,120 Speaker 2: and go, now that I know all this, you know, 145 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,960 Speaker 2: do you think you guys have because to my knowledge, 146 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,240 Speaker 2: I don't remember there ever being some big scandal like that, 147 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:06,560 Speaker 2: namely cheated or there was like something really bad. So 148 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 2: it's like, is the love still there? Would that have 149 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 2: been maybe fixed? 150 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 3: That's such a hard question to answer because at the 151 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:16,520 Speaker 3: core of it, like I said, we're just different and 152 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:21,600 Speaker 3: I don't know, you know, if if the me of 153 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 3: today were the me of ten years ago, would it 154 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 3: be different? Would she see things differently? Would I react differently? 155 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:32,440 Speaker 3: Like that is an endless thought cycle that I stopped 156 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:38,079 Speaker 3: thinking about years ago because there I hate not having 157 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:41,959 Speaker 3: an answer something that can't be answered, right, can't answer that, 158 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:45,760 Speaker 3: Like I definitely would have been more prepared to deal 159 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 3: with it, and I certainly would have done more on 160 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:51,160 Speaker 3: my end, knowing what I know now, But would it 161 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:56,160 Speaker 3: have changed any result? I have no idea. You know, 162 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,120 Speaker 3: that's a tough one to answer. 163 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:03,520 Speaker 1: How are you guys doing now? Your co parenting, which 164 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:07,520 Speaker 1: is a whole another type of relationship. I think Jane 165 00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 1: and I both know a lot about that, and it's 166 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,959 Speaker 1: not easy. It's not easy. How are you guys doing today? 167 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,960 Speaker 1: And how are you handling co parenting? And what would 168 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:20,040 Speaker 1: you tell somebody out there who's listening, who's in your 169 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,280 Speaker 1: position and trying to co parent with somebody that is 170 00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:23,920 Speaker 1: very different than they are. 171 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, we're actually in a really great place right now, 172 00:09:28,559 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 3: really great, And I will admit it took me a 173 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:33,520 Speaker 3: long time to get there. 174 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:35,120 Speaker 1: Like how long? 175 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 2: What was taking you so long to get there? 176 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 1: We have questions about what was it? How long? 177 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:45,880 Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, I was in a definitive like funk where 178 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:50,920 Speaker 3: it's like I'm mad, I resent. 179 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,280 Speaker 2: Her, like a defensive stance, all of. 180 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 3: It, all of yeah, and even things where I didn't 181 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,200 Speaker 3: need to say no to her on I would do 182 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 3: it by like I was in a really bad place. 183 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,319 Speaker 3: She started dating something someone that got you know, that 184 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,160 Speaker 3: made things even worse, And so I had my own 185 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:11,320 Speaker 3: going on, and so it was very difficult for me 186 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:15,280 Speaker 3: to get to that next place where I don't want 187 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:18,160 Speaker 3: to speak for her, but she was seemingly there much 188 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:22,320 Speaker 3: quicker than I was, And so I would say it 189 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:26,280 Speaker 3: took me a good at least two years. I mean 190 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,720 Speaker 3: at least, you know, even when it came to dating. 191 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 3: But that's a whole, other, whole other discussion. So it 192 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:35,959 Speaker 3: took me a few years to get there. And you know, 193 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:39,880 Speaker 3: now we are at a place where I harbor no 194 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,920 Speaker 3: anxiety for it, no resentment. I'm not mad, I am 195 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:47,120 Speaker 3: I'm in a I'm in I'm in a really great place. 196 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:48,320 Speaker 3: When it comes to her and. 197 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 1: She and I, do you think, what do you think 198 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 1: it was though that made you be able to switch 199 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:53,440 Speaker 1: to this. 200 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 2: You turn the anger off? I guess yeah, I don't know. 201 00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,800 Speaker 3: I mean, look, I have, like, I've done a lot 202 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 3: of healing, right, I've spoken to therapists, I have read, 203 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,960 Speaker 3: I have listened to podcasts, I have reflected I have 204 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:12,000 Speaker 3: you know, I've changed my perception of it all and 205 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:16,880 Speaker 3: what everything that I'm holding onto, what is it is? 206 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:18,960 Speaker 3: Any of it really hurt or is it all just me? 207 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,840 Speaker 3: And unless I learned to let go of all that, 208 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:25,040 Speaker 3: I'm never going to feel any better. And so it 209 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:26,920 Speaker 3: wasn't as if I woke up one morning and I 210 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,520 Speaker 3: was like, oh, I'm all better. You know. It was 211 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:32,800 Speaker 3: definitely the biggest cliche of them all time, like but time. 212 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:34,920 Speaker 3: You know, Yeah, I wish I could go back and 213 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:38,440 Speaker 3: tell me of three years ago, like, look, look where 214 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:40,599 Speaker 3: you are in three years from now. There is a 215 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:42,200 Speaker 3: light at the end of the tunnel, Like you don't 216 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:45,000 Speaker 3: need to feel all this and just know that it 217 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 3: will get better. 218 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:49,960 Speaker 1: So, yeah, I just have to go through it. You 219 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,120 Speaker 1: have to, you have to wage your way through it. 220 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:53,840 Speaker 1: But I think everybody's different. 221 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think it's hard when there is someone 222 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 2: else too, like another man around your kids, and you know, 223 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 2: I'm it's hard for the woman too, and there's another 224 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,400 Speaker 2: woman around the kids, and so I think that adds 225 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:04,959 Speaker 2: a whole other element. But then when you start to 226 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 2: separate and go okay as long as they're loved, but 227 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:10,880 Speaker 2: if there's issues within that, then it just adds more complication. 228 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:14,600 Speaker 3: Yeah. I remember when they first started dating, I was like, 229 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:16,560 Speaker 3: I don't want him to come to any baseball games. 230 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,079 Speaker 3: I don't like no, no, no, no, no, ye, I 231 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,280 Speaker 3: will make a scene like I was. It was ridiculous, 232 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,520 Speaker 3: you know. Now, like they've been together for for a 233 00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:25,840 Speaker 3: while and he's you know, the kids love him and 234 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 3: his family's nice to the kids, and like it's a 235 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:32,640 Speaker 3: it's a good dynamic. So but but two three years ago, man, 236 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:36,559 Speaker 3: like no, I was you Yeah, but. 237 00:12:36,559 --> 00:12:38,520 Speaker 2: I think that's a great place to be to be 238 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,959 Speaker 2: because it's like I have, you know, I know also 239 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,920 Speaker 2: that feeling of just being so angry. But then and 240 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:45,960 Speaker 2: another friend too that's dealing with it as well. That's 241 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,080 Speaker 2: like what is that actually doing for us? Like that's 242 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,840 Speaker 2: not good for us. And there's no anything that I 243 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:53,000 Speaker 2: say to my act isn't going to change. He's not 244 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,040 Speaker 2: going to ever. He didn't understand me when we were married. 245 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:58,200 Speaker 2: It's not he's gonna understand me now post divorce, you know. 246 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,959 Speaker 2: So it's it's like, what why am I wasting my 247 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,960 Speaker 2: energy on something where it's like what is the point? 248 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:04,439 Speaker 4: Right? 249 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,440 Speaker 3: No, I totally agree, Like I've explained it to some 250 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,199 Speaker 3: people who are like that, you know, the triggers are 251 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,120 Speaker 3: still there. She's still her I just give less of 252 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:15,320 Speaker 3: a now, and you know, and that's not going to change. 253 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,480 Speaker 3: So I just have to change. I just have to 254 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 3: think about it differently and process it differently, and I 255 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,720 Speaker 3: can only control how I react, you know. 256 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:25,439 Speaker 2: So I like to do a lot of unsent messages 257 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 2: and emails, Like I just wrote one the other day 258 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,440 Speaker 2: where it was just an email. I end up not 259 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 2: sending it, but I needed to just say it out 260 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:32,679 Speaker 2: loud because I know that what if I pressed and 261 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,880 Speaker 2: he wouldn't care what I said, right, it doesn't it 262 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,400 Speaker 2: doesn't matter, but it mattered to me to get it out. 263 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:38,720 Speaker 2: Wait can you wait? 264 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,360 Speaker 1: Can you unsend emails? 265 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:41,920 Speaker 2: I'm so curious what I'm saying, like, so I don't 266 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:44,200 Speaker 2: actually press that. I just kind of write like a note, 267 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:47,640 Speaker 2: you know. I wish I could actually it's like a 268 00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:52,120 Speaker 2: five appreciate Yeah, but that's these are we're talking years ago. 269 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:55,559 Speaker 2: I'd like to get rid of that evidence of anger. 270 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,240 Speaker 3: No, I think you're screwed. 271 00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:01,440 Speaker 1: Thanks thanks a lot. Speaking of screw do are you 272 00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:04,120 Speaker 1: dating anyone? 273 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:09,080 Speaker 3: Thank you? No? No, I I. 274 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:11,440 Speaker 2: You know there was a pause because it's a no no. 275 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:16,439 Speaker 3: It's like I'm the team, but it's not there's no 276 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,960 Speaker 3: one serious. You know, I'm going through the motions of dating. 277 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:24,200 Speaker 1: Okay, wait, so this is exciting. You're dating? Are you 278 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,160 Speaker 1: on any apps? 279 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:28,160 Speaker 2: Because I have to be Yeah, but which apps are 280 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,040 Speaker 2: you on? I'm curious? 281 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:31,440 Speaker 1: Why are you getting red? 282 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 3: Because it sucks, like I feel, I. 283 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 2: Just every guy says this, by the way, it does. Yeah, 284 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 2: really do you prefer hinge to bumble or bumble the hinge? 285 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:46,040 Speaker 3: I'm indifferent. I don't care. I think they are equally triggering. 286 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:50,160 Speaker 3: They trap you, Like it's like nobody's serious. You know, 287 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:54,680 Speaker 3: there's fake profiles, like everyone really endless options, so like 288 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:56,920 Speaker 3: no one really pays attention. So you kind of got 289 00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 3: to sift through the haystack to find the needle. And 290 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:04,080 Speaker 3: you know, every once in a while you meet someone 291 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:07,520 Speaker 3: that that that you know makes sense and then you 292 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:12,440 Speaker 3: can date. It is it's exhausting and it sucks. And 293 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:15,400 Speaker 3: not being from South Florida, from Miami, I don't exactly 294 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,280 Speaker 3: have a huge network and the age of at I 295 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:20,360 Speaker 3: don't exactly have a new huge network of friends and 296 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,440 Speaker 3: single friends. I want to set me up with friends 297 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 3: and it's not like I'm going out to bars. I'm 298 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:27,120 Speaker 3: not you know, meeting people organically. I would love to 299 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:27,480 Speaker 3: do that. 300 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 2: Well, it's also you're kind of limited to It's not 301 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,560 Speaker 2: like you can move, right, So it's like I always 302 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,960 Speaker 2: when I started dating Alan, it's like I he lived 303 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,840 Speaker 2: in England, Like I can't move. I have to stay 304 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:38,160 Speaker 2: in Nashville. So that was kind of where when I was, 305 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 2: you know, dating, it's like it if it doesn't make sense, 306 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:43,440 Speaker 2: like why continue on? You know, because it's like if 307 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:46,440 Speaker 2: this person is landlocked there and I'm landlocked here, what 308 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 2: is actually the point? 309 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:48,520 Speaker 3: Right? Totally? 310 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,520 Speaker 2: You know, So it's like when you're on there, it's 311 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,760 Speaker 2: like how you know, it's like you obviously wouldn't move 312 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,800 Speaker 2: from your kids there at a beautiful fun age, like 313 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:57,120 Speaker 2: you wouldn't move. 314 00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, not until college. 315 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:00,920 Speaker 1: Right, that's a while. That's a while. 316 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 3: Yeah. 317 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:02,600 Speaker 2: How old are the kids? 318 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 3: Ten and a half and eight and a half? 319 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:07,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you're stuck there for a while. So you 320 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,520 Speaker 1: don't have a lot of friends that are setting you up, 321 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,760 Speaker 1: so talk to us. I don't know, Jane, have you 322 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:12,840 Speaker 1: ever been on a dating app? 323 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,680 Speaker 2: I was on Riyah. You're on Riah Okay, yeah, but 324 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,720 Speaker 2: that app was ridiculous, ridiculous. 325 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:21,960 Speaker 1: It was just a funny Riya story. My ex husband, 326 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:26,000 Speaker 1: Peter uh Was, I was told was on Ria and 327 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:31,160 Speaker 1: his age whatever range that he was looking for was 328 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,320 Speaker 1: also the age range of his oldest daughter. So she 329 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:50,200 Speaker 1: they came, she came across him on her thing. Stop. Yeah, no, okay, 330 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:52,600 Speaker 1: So what's your what's your age limit? I don't know 331 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:52,880 Speaker 1: how it. 332 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 3: Works, so I'm pretty be honest. 333 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,840 Speaker 1: After that story, you can ask me anything. 334 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,640 Speaker 3: I'm an open book. I'm thirty two to my age 335 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:06,560 Speaker 3: I'm forty eight, so I'm all over the place, but 336 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:13,720 Speaker 3: only because it's a needle in a haystack. And you know, technically, 337 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:16,760 Speaker 3: if you make the haystack bigger than needles. 338 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:21,360 Speaker 1: Do you believe the age is just a number? Do 339 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,720 Speaker 1: you date older women? These are two questions. 340 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,879 Speaker 3: Let's attack the first one. So it depends where you 341 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:32,360 Speaker 3: are in life, right. I think that you can certainly 342 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:36,040 Speaker 3: fall in love with with with a woman that's you know, 343 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:41,000 Speaker 3: significantly younger. But you know, if she hasn't been through 344 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:44,040 Speaker 3: a lot from a relationship standpoint, if she wants a family, 345 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,640 Speaker 3: if she doesn't have her career is not getting going yet, 346 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,399 Speaker 3: like there's there. It depends where you are, Like the 347 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 3: timing has to be right, and then age is but 348 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,240 Speaker 3: a number if that makes sense. 349 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,159 Speaker 2: Would you like the person to be a mom or 350 00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:57,720 Speaker 2: does that not? 351 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,560 Speaker 3: I think it helps, but it's not a prerequisite. Like 352 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:02,520 Speaker 3: I think it helps. 353 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:06,280 Speaker 1: What have you met somebody that had like five kids? 354 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,159 Speaker 3: Do I have to support them? Because if I have 355 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,439 Speaker 3: to support them, then it's probably a hard no. But 356 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,239 Speaker 3: it depends on the dynamic too. Right is she a 357 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,439 Speaker 3: full time mom? Does she has the all five kids 358 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,760 Speaker 3: the entire time? Is it fifty to fifty? So there 359 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 3: are so many factors, Like I don't want to rule 360 00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:27,880 Speaker 3: people out, but that's I mean a single moms are 361 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:31,280 Speaker 3: the hardest working people I know. And so if the 362 00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:33,520 Speaker 3: father's not in the picture and she doesn't have help, 363 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,680 Speaker 3: like that's hard to navigate, right, you know, Like how 364 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,359 Speaker 3: is she ever going to have enough time for us 365 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,880 Speaker 3: when she has that? So there are so many factors 366 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:44,879 Speaker 3: And I don't like to pigeonhole and I don't have 367 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:48,080 Speaker 3: checklists and I don't have any of that. It's kind 368 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,800 Speaker 3: of you have to play it by year and see 369 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:53,840 Speaker 3: see who this person really is and what they can 370 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:54,440 Speaker 3: offer and what. 371 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:56,680 Speaker 1: We talked about younger, But you didn't talk about older 372 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:57,879 Speaker 1: yet JP, I'm waiting. 373 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,760 Speaker 2: I mean, I think he said to his age, right, 374 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,800 Speaker 2: how do you that's my age forty eight? 375 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, but would you date older? 376 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:11,120 Speaker 3: I don't know. Again, I think it's it's not a no. Look, 377 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,840 Speaker 3: I don't I don't rule anything out because people are people. 378 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:17,840 Speaker 3: I like if I'm exposed to an older woman and 379 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:22,400 Speaker 3: we click, like sure, but there's not much much exposure 380 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,240 Speaker 3: to it given I guess how I'm meeting people, and 381 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,200 Speaker 3: you know, I'm not in a position where I'm meeting, 382 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:31,040 Speaker 3: you know, a fifty five sixty year old woman. It 383 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,879 Speaker 3: just doesn't happen. So am I opposed to it? I 384 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,439 Speaker 3: don't like to say no, but you know, you never know. 385 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,800 Speaker 1: I guess I feel a little excited because I feel 386 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:41,800 Speaker 1: like we've got a lot of listeners out there who 387 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:42,680 Speaker 1: are looking for love. 388 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,679 Speaker 2: Maybe there's also a lot of people too in the 389 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,879 Speaker 2: you know, Miami Ish area. 390 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:51,160 Speaker 3: It's a disaster, really disaster. 391 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,119 Speaker 2: What makes it exact because I'm like, man, there's so 392 00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 2: many people that go there that you could that well, let's. 393 00:19:57,359 --> 00:19:59,359 Speaker 3: Just put it this way. It's the only fans capital 394 00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:04,040 Speaker 3: of the world. There's a lot of that around. Like 395 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:07,680 Speaker 3: I'm not a Miami beach guy either. I'm in the suburbs. 396 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:11,359 Speaker 3: I'm on the mainland, so I don't know. I feel 397 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,119 Speaker 3: like there is a lot more. And I'm sure every 398 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,120 Speaker 3: major city has this, but i just feel like there's 399 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:22,480 Speaker 3: a lot more superficial bullsh to navigate in Miami. So 400 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,800 Speaker 3: it's not as easy as one might think. 401 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:28,200 Speaker 1: Okay, so let's get to the nitty gritty. We need 402 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,800 Speaker 1: this info straight from a man. What gets you to 403 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:35,000 Speaker 1: swipe right on someone's page? 404 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:39,400 Speaker 3: How am I supposed to make a decision based upon 405 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:45,399 Speaker 3: five photos and a pr set up bio that like 406 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,800 Speaker 3: is or is not how the person really is in 407 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:53,640 Speaker 3: real life. For me, it's as long as obviously I'd 408 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:55,679 Speaker 3: like to be attracted to or so some level of 409 00:20:55,680 --> 00:21:00,159 Speaker 3: attraction and something witty I'm swiping because again, and I'm 410 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,119 Speaker 3: sure you've heard this before, it's kind of all about 411 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:05,640 Speaker 3: the numbers, Right, You're gonna swipe thirty times, and how 412 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,520 Speaker 3: many times are you really going to match? And so 413 00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:11,679 Speaker 3: if there's something there that's intriguing and and that just 414 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:17,520 Speaker 3: you know, I don't have like a formula. If I'm 415 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:20,520 Speaker 3: attracted and they say something kind of funny and you know, 416 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:21,879 Speaker 3: it gives. 417 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:25,919 Speaker 2: You what gives you the ick? On dating apps. 418 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:29,360 Speaker 3: Do so so on dating apps. 419 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,320 Speaker 2: Like that they that they would do in their profile, 420 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 2: Like for me, I if a guy had a mirror 421 00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:36,359 Speaker 2: selfie and like you're out, like no mirror selfies we 422 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:37,640 Speaker 2: or selfies you do you. 423 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:40,560 Speaker 3: Look back ass shot in a bikini? Like no, stop 424 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:41,879 Speaker 3: like stop. 425 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,880 Speaker 1: Wait you don't want any ass photos? 426 00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:48,040 Speaker 3: Well not like if not if that's how you're attracting men, 427 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,240 Speaker 3: like of course you're gonna get a million swipes, right, 428 00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:55,159 Speaker 3: Like I'm not like that is it nice eventually? Sure, 429 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,040 Speaker 3: but like that's not that's that's not gonna cause me. 430 00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:00,240 Speaker 3: It doesn't give me the ick, but it's like you're gone. 431 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:01,920 Speaker 3: You're gone, You're gone because they're looking for. 432 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,840 Speaker 2: Also adat to you know what I mean? 433 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:09,400 Speaker 4: Like that right all that, Yeah, you know there are 434 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,119 Speaker 4: people that and again I don't know if these are 435 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,919 Speaker 4: fake bios or not, but they'll be like, you know, 436 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:15,640 Speaker 4: not vaccinated, Like. 437 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:18,720 Speaker 3: Why are like is that important today? Like why is 438 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,840 Speaker 3: that so important that you're limited space in your bio? 439 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:26,840 Speaker 2: You're gonna put not vaccinated a lot like a warning. 440 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:32,320 Speaker 3: It does like you're you're you're ruling out a whole 441 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,639 Speaker 3: lot of people on one thing, and is it really 442 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:36,960 Speaker 3: that important to you today? I don't know. There are 443 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:40,199 Speaker 3: little trigger things. I'm not a political guy, but you know, 444 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:44,760 Speaker 3: no trumpers like okay, like is that that important to you? 445 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,080 Speaker 3: Or you're not going to meet someone so they are. 446 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,560 Speaker 3: I guess I just want to meet cool people that 447 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:54,040 Speaker 3: I click with and we get along and you know 448 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,000 Speaker 3: that at the end of the day we make each 449 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,960 Speaker 3: other laugh. I can see being their best friend and 450 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 3: you know we're in it for the long All that 451 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:04,800 Speaker 3: stuff matters. But does it do? 452 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:05,240 Speaker 1: You said? 453 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:05,359 Speaker 3: No? 454 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:08,840 Speaker 1: Ask pictures? What kind of pictures make you swipe? I 455 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:12,080 Speaker 1: got I really need to give our listen. Yes, let's 456 00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,399 Speaker 1: see it. Let's see who's in your feed? Am I 457 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,960 Speaker 1: using the right terminology because I've never been on an app. 458 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,679 Speaker 1: I'm trying to see it, that's right, because is it 459 00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:20,080 Speaker 1: a feed? 460 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:25,280 Speaker 3: I'm trying to see if there's an obvious of course, 461 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:26,960 Speaker 3: I'm not going to come up with any I'm trying 462 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,560 Speaker 3: to see if there's an obvious one where it was like, 463 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,119 Speaker 3: this is what I'm talking about. This is what you 464 00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:30,960 Speaker 3: get A lot of. 465 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:35,600 Speaker 1: You're likes you? Yeah, who's liking you? Do you liking. 466 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:40,040 Speaker 2: I'm curious with being on the apps too, because I 467 00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:42,720 Speaker 2: when I thought about doing Hinge for a second because 468 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:45,080 Speaker 2: it seems, you know, kind of cool or whatever. But 469 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:47,919 Speaker 2: uh and I really was did not like Riya. But 470 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:53,600 Speaker 2: is it hard for you when the people recognize you? 471 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:55,719 Speaker 2: Do you have anything about Bachelor on yours? 472 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:56,920 Speaker 1: Yeah? 473 00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:00,240 Speaker 2: Okay, I would hope that, I mean, but like yeah, 474 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,600 Speaker 2: but like do you do you like it when people 475 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:03,520 Speaker 2: don't know who you are? 476 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:07,320 Speaker 3: Yeah? Like the anonymity, yeah yeah, and the kind of 477 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:11,200 Speaker 3: like yeah, because they've already got something in their brain 478 00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,560 Speaker 3: as far as like who I am. And yes, but 479 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:16,000 Speaker 3: it's been so long now, I mean we're talking fourteen 480 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:19,440 Speaker 3: years ago, so people either forgot like oh you look 481 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,040 Speaker 3: so familiar, but it doesn't get there. 482 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,159 Speaker 2: Certainly thirty year olds probably wouldn't know. The forty year 483 00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:25,600 Speaker 2: olds know. 484 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, true, true. So it happens. 485 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:30,919 Speaker 1: Have you let anybody like flip out and be like, 486 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,800 Speaker 1: oh my god, I met you that then they finally 487 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:35,440 Speaker 1: meet you and like you're on the Bachelor. 488 00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:38,920 Speaker 3: No, I haven't had that happen. I mean I've had 489 00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,720 Speaker 3: a couple where they didn't know and then after like 490 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,040 Speaker 3: the second or third date, they're like, oh, what's your Instagram? 491 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:47,959 Speaker 3: Was like mmmm, okay, and then they're like wait a second, 492 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,840 Speaker 3: and then it clicks and it's kind of it's a 493 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:53,720 Speaker 3: funny conversation, but it's never it's never in the way, 494 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:57,760 Speaker 3: and it's never in your face, and it's never you know, 495 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:01,600 Speaker 3: anyone crazy about it. It's kind of like, Oh, that's 496 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:02,800 Speaker 3: a fun story, and you move on. 497 00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:03,960 Speaker 1: Show us your app. 498 00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:05,679 Speaker 2: Jenny's living vicariously through you. 499 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:07,919 Speaker 1: I want to see. I want to know what what 500 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:09,239 Speaker 1: it is you're swiping on. 501 00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:11,679 Speaker 3: Oh, you want to see my matches. 502 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,280 Speaker 1: Everybody's listening. They want to know, like, how could I 503 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:15,919 Speaker 1: match with something like JP. 504 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,280 Speaker 2: If you live in the Florida Miami area. 505 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:20,639 Speaker 3: Yeah, let me see. 506 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:23,840 Speaker 1: I feel like if I ask you a question, it's 507 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:25,760 Speaker 1: going to distract you. So I'm trying to just give 508 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:26,040 Speaker 1: you know. 509 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:27,520 Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm holding my question. 510 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,639 Speaker 3: I haven't spoken to her, but this is someone where 511 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:34,960 Speaker 3: the pictures were not Miami, right, there was like normal 512 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:39,040 Speaker 3: pictures in the wild, like kind of like this is 513 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:43,280 Speaker 3: terrible word to use, but normal, right. So I don't 514 00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:45,399 Speaker 3: like sunglass pictures because I think that's kind of a 515 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:45,880 Speaker 3: cop out. 516 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:49,240 Speaker 1: But don't wear sunglasses. You guys, okay, don't wear sunglasses. 517 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:54,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, just like she's adventurous. Oh that's yeah, she's beautiful, normal. 518 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:57,320 Speaker 1: Pretty like bikini in your face. 519 00:25:57,920 --> 00:25:59,520 Speaker 3: He with a bikini shot. 520 00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:01,439 Speaker 1: Like there and she's out of nature. 521 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,680 Speaker 3: But Miami, I mean you will see. I mean it is. 522 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:05,880 Speaker 3: It is. 523 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,320 Speaker 1: It's like the bathing suit capital of the world. 524 00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:09,200 Speaker 3: It's absurd. 525 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:13,720 Speaker 1: I've just titled it. Yeah, yeah, sounds out buns out. 526 00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:14,320 Speaker 1: I get it. 527 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,840 Speaker 3: So I have to take breaks from the apps too, 528 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:17,920 Speaker 3: just because. 529 00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:22,520 Speaker 2: It affects your mental health. I really does, Yes, I 530 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:25,240 Speaker 2: one thousand percent. I talked to a girlfriend who's on 531 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,920 Speaker 2: the apps and she's and I remember what it does. 532 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,960 Speaker 2: It affects you, know, your your mood and has to 533 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:33,360 Speaker 2: pass out. Does it make you feel like, oh I'm 534 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:36,119 Speaker 2: not good enough or no, It's just it's kind of 535 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:42,760 Speaker 2: an endless pit of just yeah out, like I can't 536 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:45,520 Speaker 2: even know. I mean, it's just that that aren't your person, 537 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:49,000 Speaker 2: and so it kind of gets defeating and yeah. 538 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:52,320 Speaker 3: You feel yeah, agreed. I mean you know, I'll swipe 539 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,520 Speaker 3: and swipe and then like twenty minutes ago by I'm like, 540 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,040 Speaker 3: what am I doing? Like I just like I got 541 00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,760 Speaker 3: to get my brain a break, and you know it's 542 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,719 Speaker 3: I don't know how successful they really are and define 543 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:08,040 Speaker 3: success from it, but like it's you know, they're just 544 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:11,040 Speaker 3: seemingly an endless supply and nobody cares, and like it 545 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:14,479 Speaker 3: certainly is a self esteem killer. 546 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:19,199 Speaker 1: You know, what's your like first date? When you do 547 00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:22,720 Speaker 1: find a match and you set up that first encounter, 548 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:25,080 Speaker 1: what is it? Is it a coffee date? Are you 549 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:26,320 Speaker 1: going out to get a drink? 550 00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:31,760 Speaker 3: It depends, Like I've had so I don't want to 551 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,679 Speaker 3: waste anyone's time, their time, my time, you know. I 552 00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,560 Speaker 3: think that if you're if there's witty banter and you're talking, 553 00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:39,600 Speaker 3: you're texting, and you meet up for the first time. 554 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,440 Speaker 3: I don't really drink these days, so going for a 555 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:46,800 Speaker 3: drink is not ideal. But coffee or a walk on 556 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:50,160 Speaker 3: the beach or grab a smoothie, or it's something where 557 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,879 Speaker 3: it's enough time to get to know them. But you know, 558 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,720 Speaker 3: you're not stuck three three hours on a dinner date 559 00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:58,920 Speaker 3: with someone that you don't really know if you want 560 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:02,360 Speaker 3: to be around, I think you can tell a lot. 561 00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,920 Speaker 3: You know, you can certainly gauge in that first hour, 562 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:06,800 Speaker 3: no matter what you're doing whether you want to spend 563 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,679 Speaker 3: more time with this person. I'm not saying they have 564 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:10,960 Speaker 3: to be the one, but like, oh that was cool, 565 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:14,199 Speaker 3: she's fun. I'd see her again, you know. So it varies, 566 00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:19,240 Speaker 3: but simple coffee smoothie walks just. 567 00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:22,119 Speaker 1: To like test the water, yeah, and find out if 568 00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:24,680 Speaker 1: there's an attraction there at all, like in person. Because 569 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:26,920 Speaker 1: have you ever gone and met somebody and they look 570 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:28,679 Speaker 1: entirely different than their pictures? 571 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:29,600 Speaker 3: That's never happened. 572 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:30,240 Speaker 1: Okay, good. 573 00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:34,200 Speaker 3: I have never been catfished. I have had a couple 574 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:36,199 Speaker 3: where I was like, oh, you know, let's let's go 575 00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,960 Speaker 3: grab a coffee. Like I don't do coffee, but you 576 00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:42,880 Speaker 3: can take me for dinner. I'm like you like you. 577 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:46,720 Speaker 1: Like no, So if they want you to buy them dinner, 578 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:47,240 Speaker 1: they're out. 579 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:50,960 Speaker 3: It wasn't like why don't we go for dinner? It 580 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 3: was like buy me dinner? And I was like, look, 581 00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:59,840 Speaker 3: I I would like, I'm not going to let you pay, 582 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:02,160 Speaker 3: but how do you where do you how do you 583 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,040 Speaker 3: have the balls to say that to somebody? We're like 584 00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:05,400 Speaker 3: I'm not going to meet you coffee, but you can 585 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:06,040 Speaker 3: buy me dinner. 586 00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:10,000 Speaker 1: Like now, well, maybe she doesn't like coffee. First of all, 587 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,720 Speaker 1: and maybe she knows her worth and she's like, I'm 588 00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 1: worth more than. 589 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,520 Speaker 2: I would also say if she ended it with a winky, 590 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:18,520 Speaker 2: I would say that like my personalities like I don't 591 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:20,320 Speaker 2: I actually don't drink coffee, but I'll take dinner if 592 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:21,520 Speaker 2: you winky like that. 593 00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:24,960 Speaker 3: So that's it's different. And personality is very hard to 594 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:28,480 Speaker 3: gauge in a text unless you're over emoji, right, So 595 00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,520 Speaker 3: this was not There was no winki, no smiley face, 596 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,240 Speaker 3: none of that. It was like I received it as 597 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:36,440 Speaker 3: that serious, like I don't do coffee, but you can 598 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:37,960 Speaker 3: buy me dinner. That's how I share. 599 00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:42,920 Speaker 2: So it's interesting all for self worth, Yeah, but like. 600 00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:48,200 Speaker 3: This is these are two people here, like we're we're 601 00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:50,760 Speaker 3: in this together, and I'm not saying you're worth any 602 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,800 Speaker 3: less because I don't want to commit to three hours 603 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:55,680 Speaker 3: with somebody I don't know that, we don't even know 604 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,440 Speaker 3: if we're gonna like each other, Like why would you 605 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,280 Speaker 3: want to do that? So once we know that there's 606 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:03,960 Speaker 3: something there, like I will make it known how what 607 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:07,080 Speaker 3: you're worth, like like I will recognize your worth. But 608 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,840 Speaker 3: I don't agree with the self worth analysis off of 609 00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,600 Speaker 3: the first date. Like the first encounter. 610 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:26,120 Speaker 2: Do you want to get married again? 611 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:30,480 Speaker 3: So I would? I don't have to. I want everything 612 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:34,440 Speaker 3: that comes with it, the legal side of it. If 613 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:37,600 Speaker 3: she does, great, if she doesn't, great. I want the partnership, 614 00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:41,400 Speaker 3: the friendship, the love, the you know, I want everything 615 00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:43,200 Speaker 3: that comes along with it. But it doesn't have to 616 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:45,520 Speaker 3: be legally bound. 617 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:48,800 Speaker 2: From all the things that you've listened podcast wise and 618 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:52,920 Speaker 2: read books on that, you've learned from your previous relationship, 619 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:55,480 Speaker 2: what would make you be like I would be a 620 00:30:55,480 --> 00:31:00,960 Speaker 2: good husband because I'm you know, great at this, Like 621 00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:04,640 Speaker 2: that you've learned that maybe you weren't the best with Ashley. 622 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:15,600 Speaker 3: I am. It's a good one. I was not the 623 00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:19,720 Speaker 3: best listener. I was not the best. Not only was 624 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:22,080 Speaker 3: I not the best listener, but I would also judge 625 00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:27,280 Speaker 3: based upon somebody else's perspective that wasn't my own, Like no, 626 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:30,240 Speaker 3: you're going wrong, Like how do you not see it 627 00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:32,880 Speaker 3: my way? I have done a complete one ad on that, 628 00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:36,320 Speaker 3: so I know when to listen. I know when to 629 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:39,920 Speaker 3: shut up. I know when to you know, I know 630 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:45,840 Speaker 3: when to when when my advice is desired. You know, 631 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,720 Speaker 3: I've dated a woman where she just wanted to vent 632 00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,400 Speaker 3: and like it took me a while to understand, like 633 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,920 Speaker 3: she didn't want me to try and fix it, but 634 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,560 Speaker 3: I was able to communicate to get to the point 635 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,160 Speaker 3: to know what she really wanted for me. So I 636 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:03,400 Speaker 3: think my communication and listening has gotten night and day better. 637 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:07,280 Speaker 1: You know, that's good. That's good. That's such an important 638 00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:10,239 Speaker 1: quality because a lot of them think that. A lot 639 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,320 Speaker 1: of men think they want me to fix it, and 640 00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:14,280 Speaker 1: then you get frustrated and then you get angry, and 641 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:16,400 Speaker 1: you know, it just is this unhealthy cycle. 642 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,400 Speaker 3: And I used to be like that, I can fix it. 643 00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:21,200 Speaker 3: I can fix it, and that's not necessarily what needs 644 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:21,600 Speaker 3: to happen. 645 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:25,360 Speaker 1: So so you've learned to be a better listener. 646 00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:28,800 Speaker 2: I've learned to be a better I love that listener. Yeah, 647 00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:31,400 Speaker 2: that's great, and that's an amazing quality in a man. 648 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:36,240 Speaker 1: So you do you think chivalry is dead? Are you 649 00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:37,320 Speaker 1: a chivalrous guy? 650 00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:41,440 Speaker 3: Totally open doors? And you know, like I am all 651 00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:45,640 Speaker 3: about manners and it's how I was raised, you know, 652 00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:48,640 Speaker 3: I think, And I think it's about how you pass 653 00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,360 Speaker 3: it on to your kids too, so it but for 654 00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:53,440 Speaker 3: me it's not. I mean, I'm all about that. 655 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:58,800 Speaker 2: So do you have a a a timeline of when 656 00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,000 Speaker 2: you would introduce something like have you ever introduced someone 657 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,160 Speaker 2: to the kids, and then what would that timeline be, Yeah, 658 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:03,920 Speaker 2: I haven't. 659 00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:06,880 Speaker 3: I haven't yet. 660 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:07,200 Speaker 4: You know. 661 00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:10,280 Speaker 3: Initially I was like, no, you know, no one's meeting 662 00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:13,800 Speaker 3: my kids unless this is going somewhere and this is serious. 663 00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,080 Speaker 3: And so for a few years it was like, well, 664 00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:19,600 Speaker 3: they haven't met anybody, And I think it's important. You know, 665 00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,160 Speaker 3: I'm glad that Ashley's in a relationship where the kids 666 00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,800 Speaker 3: see her, you know, social with a partner, and I 667 00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:27,840 Speaker 3: think that's important for the kids. But I do think 668 00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:30,160 Speaker 3: it's important for them to see that I am happy 669 00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:33,840 Speaker 3: that you know that I can't that that I date. 670 00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:39,280 Speaker 3: I'm more open to having them meet someone earlier now 671 00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,520 Speaker 3: than I was years ago, because I think it's important 672 00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:43,960 Speaker 3: for them to see that it doesn't necessarily have to 673 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:47,560 Speaker 3: be this is my girlfriend. It could meet a friend 674 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:49,440 Speaker 3: at the park and she just happens to be there 675 00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:51,400 Speaker 3: and they go, oh, this is my friend, so and so. 676 00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:54,520 Speaker 3: So I am more open to it these days than 677 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:58,440 Speaker 3: I have ever been. I was pretty guarded, and you know, 678 00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:03,520 Speaker 3: I wanted to shield them from it, and so I 679 00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:06,880 Speaker 3: feel differently today than I did back then makes. 680 00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:10,120 Speaker 1: Sense, But can we get a specific again for a second. 681 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,640 Speaker 1: I want people to really understand what a guy is 682 00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:15,480 Speaker 1: looking for, Like you like, what a guy like you 683 00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:17,600 Speaker 1: was really looking for? What? 684 00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:18,680 Speaker 2: Like? 685 00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,720 Speaker 1: What what does she look like? What are you attracted 686 00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:22,440 Speaker 1: to physically? 687 00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:28,080 Speaker 3: I have dated the spectrum, so I honestly, at this 688 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:33,879 Speaker 3: stage of my life like the attraction comes with the personality. 689 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:37,960 Speaker 3: So you know, just because twenty years ago maybe I 690 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:39,040 Speaker 3: had a type. 691 00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:41,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't have a type anymore. 692 00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:46,520 Speaker 3: I really don't. I really have dated the spectrum, ethnicities, heights, 693 00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:48,600 Speaker 3: I mean, you name it, like, I've dated the spectrum. 694 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:52,400 Speaker 3: And I'm big on personality. I like when there's banther. 695 00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,200 Speaker 3: I like when there's sarcasm. I like that we you 696 00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,120 Speaker 3: know that she can make fun of me and I 697 00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:58,440 Speaker 3: can make fun of her, and you just kind of 698 00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:03,359 Speaker 3: keep going. And you know, I like when you can 699 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:06,200 Speaker 3: tell that somebody is engaged in a conversation and wants 700 00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,680 Speaker 3: to know more about you and asking questions and so 701 00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:11,680 Speaker 3: I try to skip precipitate and do the same. And 702 00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:14,360 Speaker 3: so I'm looking for that flow. 703 00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,920 Speaker 1: And yeah, emotional intelligence sounds important. 704 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, look, I yes, I have to be 705 00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:25,680 Speaker 3: physically attracted to them, but that also can evolve too, 706 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:28,319 Speaker 3: you know, because in twenty years from now, like that's 707 00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:30,520 Speaker 3: all gone for both of us, and it's like, you know, 708 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:33,239 Speaker 3: we're left with the other person. And I think the 709 00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:38,160 Speaker 3: way you communicate and the way you. 710 00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:39,440 Speaker 1: You make that sound so awful. I'm just gonna say 711 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:43,600 Speaker 1: what you said twenty years ago. Face in twenty years 712 00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:45,160 Speaker 1: it's all gone and just. 713 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:47,840 Speaker 3: Five years old. And I don't look the way that 714 00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:51,080 Speaker 3: I look right now, and I guess she doesn't look 715 00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,400 Speaker 3: the way she looks right now, like you know. 716 00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:58,160 Speaker 1: Sorry, No, I'm married to a younger man, so I get. 717 00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,799 Speaker 3: I'm just saying, Look, so it was a terrible way 718 00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:05,920 Speaker 3: of paying play. It looks fade, like you know, and 719 00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:10,560 Speaker 3: the attraction just comes on many levels. So I'm I'm 720 00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:15,560 Speaker 3: attracted to the personality type and that's that's what I'm 721 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:16,040 Speaker 3: looking for. 722 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:20,359 Speaker 1: That sounds very mature, you very evolved. I know when 723 00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:22,520 Speaker 1: I got divorced. I don't know, Jane if this happened 724 00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:25,280 Speaker 1: to you, but one of the times I got divorced, 725 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:33,280 Speaker 1: I started dating all different types of guys like short, tall, big, little, 726 00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:36,680 Speaker 1: like it was people were so confused. It was like 727 00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:41,399 Speaker 1: whiplash because each one was so different than the next one. 728 00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:43,960 Speaker 1: But I had to do that because I didn't I 729 00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,799 Speaker 1: didn't know. I didn't know. And I also was like, 730 00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:48,960 Speaker 1: you know what, their body doesn't really matter to me. 731 00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:52,840 Speaker 1: It's what's inside and what's what that connection is that 732 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,560 Speaker 1: stimulates me. So yeah, I hear you. 733 00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:58,840 Speaker 3: I agree. I mean, look, I ultimately like, yes, you 734 00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:02,680 Speaker 3: want them to take care of themselves and like make 735 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,920 Speaker 3: an effort and you know, be active, because that's what 736 00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:08,960 Speaker 3: I want to do. And so your your interests also 737 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:12,160 Speaker 3: need to align and lifestyle, right, thank you, That's what 738 00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:17,440 Speaker 3: I meant to say. So that's all important. But I 739 00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:20,759 Speaker 3: am I am so tired of all the noise that 740 00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:24,640 Speaker 3: is out there with regards to like, you know, red 741 00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:28,000 Speaker 3: flags and like like they didn't respond to via text, 742 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:31,839 Speaker 3: and like I can't overanalyze anymore. I can't overthink. I 743 00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:34,440 Speaker 3: can't I can't do any of that. I can't handle. 744 00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:38,960 Speaker 3: Oh my god, there's too much out there, and so 745 00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:43,040 Speaker 3: and it creates a sense of me not being me, 746 00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:47,000 Speaker 3: and so I've I'm back to just really me being me, 747 00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:49,600 Speaker 3: and I know what clicks and what works and feels 748 00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:51,680 Speaker 3: good and and I'm just going to focus. 749 00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,960 Speaker 2: On that love that. How is your health too, is 750 00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:56,880 Speaker 2: it something where does that syndrome? Does it ever come back? 751 00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:57,680 Speaker 2: Or is it. 752 00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:01,880 Speaker 3: A one time Yes, so there is a chronic condition 753 00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:04,840 Speaker 3: that you can get. I don't have that, So for me, 754 00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:07,440 Speaker 3: it was a one time thing in like two hundred 755 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:11,040 Speaker 3: thousand people get it or something like that. So I've 756 00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:14,200 Speaker 3: had no you know, ever since I learned how to 757 00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:16,840 Speaker 3: walk in button buttons again, and I've been fine. 758 00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:19,640 Speaker 1: That's like terrible. 759 00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,799 Speaker 2: Yeah, I heard you mention something about alcohol too, as 760 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,480 Speaker 2: your relationship changed with that. 761 00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:27,680 Speaker 3: I mean I was never a big drinker to begin with, 762 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:30,720 Speaker 3: but I had dated someone for four or five months 763 00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:34,320 Speaker 3: where she was sober for five years, and so whenever 764 00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,360 Speaker 3: we hung out and went out like, we never drank. 765 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,640 Speaker 3: And then I was like, holy, like I feel great, 766 00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:42,480 Speaker 3: Like I don't need this to connect with anybody. I 767 00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:45,279 Speaker 3: don't need this to have fun. And I wake up 768 00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,879 Speaker 3: the next morning after a great night's sleep and I 769 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,279 Speaker 3: feel fantastic. I was like, wow, like what do I 770 00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:54,680 Speaker 3: really want this for? So from that point I just 771 00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:55,960 Speaker 3: really stopped. 772 00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:00,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean agree, I'm the same way. I rarely 773 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:03,120 Speaker 2: drink now just because I don't want to feel like 774 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,719 Speaker 2: crap the next day, and it's it doesn't just it's 775 00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:07,960 Speaker 2: not just one day. It lingers on for for weeks, 776 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,840 Speaker 2: you know. So I'm just like, what for what reason? 777 00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:11,239 Speaker 2: And I've got a little so I'm just like, I 778 00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:13,480 Speaker 2: don't want to be tired. No, But I feel like 779 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:15,440 Speaker 2: there is more conversations about alcohol. I don't know if 780 00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:18,200 Speaker 2: it's just us in our forties, you know, and plus 781 00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:21,160 Speaker 2: but or if it's but I feel like I've heard 782 00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:23,279 Speaker 2: that it's that's dropping a little bit too. 783 00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:24,680 Speaker 1: Definitely, definitely. 784 00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:26,760 Speaker 2: Oh I'm forty. I'm gonna be forty two in December. 785 00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:32,320 Speaker 1: Every birthday. Wait, okay, so if the opportunity came around, 786 00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:36,480 Speaker 1: would you be open to finding love or even getting 787 00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:40,960 Speaker 1: married in your case on TV, like if. 788 00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:43,239 Speaker 2: They did like a forty like if they did like 789 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:46,200 Speaker 2: a golden because. 790 00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:50,960 Speaker 1: We're gold gold sparkling, sparkling. 791 00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:55,560 Speaker 2: You guys are shimmering, okay, a shimmering bachelor in paradise. 792 00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:56,359 Speaker 2: Would you do it? 793 00:39:56,440 --> 00:40:00,000 Speaker 3: So I never say no, right, I don't want to 794 00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,200 Speaker 3: closed doors. But I'm in the stage of my life 795 00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:05,160 Speaker 3: where I have kids to think about, I have a career, 796 00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:08,200 Speaker 3: like I can't put any of that on told to 797 00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:11,719 Speaker 3: go on a reality show, right, so I never say no, 798 00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:17,800 Speaker 3: But I think odds are low slim. You know, I'm 799 00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:23,279 Speaker 3: I'm about I'm all about opening doors and never know 800 00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:26,200 Speaker 3: unless you do it. You know, you don't know. I 801 00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:29,360 Speaker 3: don't know, but there are there are different factors at 802 00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:32,200 Speaker 3: play today than there were when I went on the show, 803 00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:34,640 Speaker 3: you know, fourteen years ago or whatever it's been. So 804 00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:39,160 Speaker 3: never say never, never, I've got other priorities right now. 805 00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,719 Speaker 1: This is so exciting because if someone is listening right 806 00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:45,799 Speaker 1: now and they're and they're maybe interested, what, how could 807 00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:48,480 Speaker 1: could they slide into your DMS? Do you do that? 808 00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:55,360 Speaker 3: It's happened, you know it's happened. But if look this 809 00:40:55,520 --> 00:41:00,640 Speaker 3: is the silliest cliche, but like I, you got to 810 00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:03,000 Speaker 3: shoot your shot, right, even if you get shot down. 811 00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:05,759 Speaker 3: So if there's no other way that we're ever going 812 00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:07,560 Speaker 3: to meet other than doing that, I would say, yeah, 813 00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:10,440 Speaker 3: do it now? You know, am I going to answer? 814 00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:12,440 Speaker 3: Am I going to be open to it? Are you get? 815 00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:12,560 Speaker 4: Like? 816 00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:15,560 Speaker 3: I don't know? But uh, you know, I would say, 817 00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:18,319 Speaker 3: you've got to create opportunity if none exists, so go 818 00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:18,719 Speaker 3: for it. 819 00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:22,880 Speaker 2: So there's that everyone JP Rosenbaum. I mean DM I'm 820 00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,680 Speaker 2: on Instagram. Give him a slide in its forty eight 821 00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:28,560 Speaker 2: years old, lives in Miami, Florida, real estate developer, father 822 00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:32,279 Speaker 2: of two, So like, let's let's look our friend up here. 823 00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:34,560 Speaker 3: I'm not flying on that, but thank you. 824 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:38,040 Speaker 1: We'll see what we can do it. 825 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:40,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. 826 00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:42,640 Speaker 1: I love matchmaking, so I'm going to really keep my 827 00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:43,760 Speaker 1: mind open. 828 00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:48,399 Speaker 3: Yeah, you're out in LA though, so right yeah, right, 829 00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:50,560 Speaker 3: and you're in you're still in natural right. 830 00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:52,319 Speaker 2: Yeah, yep. 831 00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:54,520 Speaker 1: There's this is a thing called airplanes. 832 00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:55,840 Speaker 3: So I've heard of that. 833 00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:57,279 Speaker 2: There is, I've heard it. 834 00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:59,760 Speaker 1: I think, what do you think about a long distance relationship? 835 00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:01,319 Speaker 1: Would do that? Would you be open to it? 836 00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:03,680 Speaker 3: I think there has to be an endgame, right, I 837 00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:06,960 Speaker 3: think to just do that indefinitely, And like Johanna said earlier, 838 00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:10,560 Speaker 3: like you live here, if no one's moving but no 839 00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:14,799 Speaker 3: potential for us to live together, that's that's hard to do. 840 00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:16,480 Speaker 3: I don't want to waste time on. 841 00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:17,640 Speaker 2: That, right Yeah. 842 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:22,360 Speaker 1: So yeah, well we have to say goodbye. Oh but 843 00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:25,480 Speaker 1: this has been fun and really interesting to get inside 844 00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,960 Speaker 1: at the head of a single man in his boardies 845 00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:29,799 Speaker 1: what he's looking for. So thank you. 846 00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:32,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're doing the work and doing awesome and 847 00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:35,400 Speaker 2: you know, like you're a great dad and though just 848 00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:38,320 Speaker 2: you deserve a great love within all of that. 849 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:40,960 Speaker 3: Thank you, so thanks for having me on guys. I 850 00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:42,560 Speaker 3: appreciate it. Thanks. Thanks. 851 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:47,800 Speaker 2: JP so sweet, he's really sweet. Do you have someone 852 00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:50,000 Speaker 2: you think would make a great fit for JP? Are 853 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,440 Speaker 2: you interested in JP? We'll shoot your shot, Email us 854 00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:54,439 Speaker 2: or call us. All the infos in the show notes 855 00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:56,839 Speaker 2: and we're going to put some info about JP up 856 00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:59,440 Speaker 2: on our socials. Follow us on socials, make sure to 857 00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:01,520 Speaker 2: rate and a review the podcast I Do Part two 858 00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:05,200 Speaker 2: an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.