WEBVTT - Tweets and Emails 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.520 This is me, Craig Ferguson. I'm inviting you to come 0:00:03.560 --> 0:00:05.960 and see my brand new comedy hour. Well it's actually 0:00:06.000 --> 0:00:07.480 it's about an hour and a half and I don't 0:00:07.480 --> 0:00:10.039 have an opener because these guys cost money. But what 0:00:10.080 --> 0:00:13.039 I'm saying is I'll be on stage for a while. Anyway, 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:15.600 come and see me live on the Pants on Fire 0:00:16.000 --> 0:00:19.760 Tour in your region. Tickets are on sale now and 0:00:19.840 --> 0:00:23.200 we'll be adding more as the tour continues throughout twenty 0:00:23.320 --> 0:00:27.040 twenty five and beyond. For a full list of dates, 0:00:27.080 --> 0:00:30.360 go to the Craig Ferguson show dot com. See you 0:00:30.400 --> 0:00:35.080 on the road, my DearS. My name is Craig Ferguson. 0:00:35.440 --> 0:00:39.479 The name of this podcast is Joy. I talk to 0:00:39.640 --> 0:00:53.880 interest in people about what brings them happiness. Hello everybody, 0:00:54.880 --> 0:00:59.240 So let me begin with an old fashioned but traditional 0:00:59.320 --> 0:01:02.680 way of starting out anything I do. 0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:05.800 It's a great day for America, everybody. I won't say 0:01:05.800 --> 0:01:07.200 that a ton right now, because. 0:01:06.959 --> 0:01:10.080 Everybody gets mad. Everybody gets mad if I say it's 0:01:10.120 --> 0:01:12.840 a great day for America. People who think it's not 0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:15.200 a great day for America, and they argue with people 0:01:15.200 --> 0:01:17.280 that do think it's a great day for America. But 0:01:17.280 --> 0:01:21.479 it's just the thing I say because you know, anyway, look, 0:01:21.800 --> 0:01:27.600 here's the thing, this is the Joy Podcast. Normally I 0:01:27.640 --> 0:01:30.920 talk to people who I want to talk to or 0:01:31.160 --> 0:01:33.759 sometimes and I'll be honest with you, I don't really 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:36.399 want to talk to at all, but I think, oh well, 0:01:36.560 --> 0:01:38.640 I'll talk to them because see if I can find 0:01:38.680 --> 0:01:41.720 any common ground because that's kind of what I look 0:01:41.800 --> 0:01:43.480 to do when I'm talking to someone that's finds some 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:45.080 common ground. 0:01:45.200 --> 0:01:46.399 Now that's not. 0:01:46.800 --> 0:01:50.600 That's not hugely popular right now because common ground and 0:01:50.760 --> 0:01:54.040 agreement isn't clickbait friendly, you know what I'm saying. It's 0:01:54.120 --> 0:01:56.800 kind of like no one wants to see people agreeing 0:01:56.840 --> 0:01:57.400 about things. 0:01:57.840 --> 0:02:00.720 So I know that. I mean not that I do 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:01.880 this for people to see it. 0:02:01.920 --> 0:02:04.280 To be honest, I do it because it kind of 0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:09.519 it interests me to talk to people about anything, whether 0:02:09.560 --> 0:02:13.160 they be celebrities or not, if they're just interested in 0:02:13.160 --> 0:02:14.840 walks of life. And that was the whole idea of 0:02:14.880 --> 0:02:18.960 doing this podcast, was to talk to interest in people 0:02:19.040 --> 0:02:22.600 about stuff that they do. And now interesting doesn't mean 0:02:22.960 --> 0:02:27.160 I agree with them, it just means interesting. I'm like, oh, well, 0:02:27.200 --> 0:02:29.560 why tell me why you think that? But it was 0:02:29.600 --> 0:02:32.639 suggested to me, and I kind of liked the idea of, 0:02:32.720 --> 0:02:34.720 you know, because one of the most popular bits we 0:02:34.760 --> 0:02:39.040 did on the old late night show was that Tweets 0:02:39.040 --> 0:02:41.799 an Email segment when I would get tweets and emails 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:44.320 from people who would just send them in and I 0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:47.160 never looked at them before, and I would like, get 0:02:47.200 --> 0:02:49.000 the tweet an email and that would just talk to them. 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:52.320 I would answer the tweet or the email and you know, 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:55.119 and figure out what was going on from there. And 0:02:55.160 --> 0:02:57.560 it was as somebody said, why don't you, Why don't 0:02:57.600 --> 0:03:01.320 you try that on the Joint podcast. So the upshot 0:03:01.440 --> 0:03:03.720 of it is, we are going to try that today. 0:03:04.320 --> 0:03:07.640 So the guest on the Joy podcast today is you? 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:13.120 Is You? Is You? Because I like the idea. I 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:14.760 like the idea of trying it out. 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:16.800 So what I have here there's a bunch of tweets 0:03:16.800 --> 0:03:19.280 and emails that people have sent and via the social 0:03:19.280 --> 0:03:23.359 media and such. Now look full disclosure, I'm not really 0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:27.399 on that social media much, you know, the the Instagram 0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:33.639 and the Twitter x account or twis account that I have, 0:03:34.280 --> 0:03:37.680 or Facebook or any of the things, or YouTube or anything. 0:03:38.040 --> 0:03:40.560 I don't really look at that too much because not 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:42.240 for any kind of it used to be I think 0:03:42.280 --> 0:03:43.080 a snobby thing. 0:03:43.120 --> 0:03:45.560 But really, really what it's about is about mental health. 0:03:45.560 --> 0:03:47.680 It drives me crazy if I dig into that, you know, 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:50.560 it makes me depressed, so I kind of stay away 0:03:50.600 --> 0:03:54.280 from it. But Tomas, who I work with, who produces 0:03:54.320 --> 0:03:58.520 this to Matsuzakopal, who's a lovely man from the Czech 0:03:58.560 --> 0:04:01.560 Republic or as we must learned to call it now Checkia, 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:07.120 although he doesn't like saying that, but he monitors the 0:04:07.160 --> 0:04:09.839 social media and he looks at it and he put 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:11.440 together the questions. 0:04:10.920 --> 0:04:11.880 For you to ask me today. 0:04:11.920 --> 0:04:15.200 So written a here on these is a selection of 0:04:15.400 --> 0:04:20.560 tweets and emails that people have sent and now I'm 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:23.160 going to answer them and we'll. 0:04:23.080 --> 0:04:24.080 See where we go from there. 0:04:24.120 --> 0:04:27.960 So let's see, this is from email and email from 0:04:28.600 --> 0:04:31.400 Stuart McMillan. Can you name the bars you worked in 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:35.120 London and Glasgow and how many still exist? Well it's 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:38.279 very easy one that because I never worked in any 0:04:38.560 --> 0:04:39.719 bars in London at all. 0:04:39.920 --> 0:04:41.280 I only drank. 0:04:41.520 --> 0:04:44.320 I drank in some bars in London and I was 0:04:44.360 --> 0:04:47.880 thrown out, thrown out some bars in London, some pretty 0:04:47.880 --> 0:04:49.680 pretty good ones too. But I never worked in any 0:04:49.760 --> 0:04:53.520 of them. It was really interested in supplying. I was 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:57.440 more interested in consuming. I did work in one bar 0:04:57.560 --> 0:05:00.120 in Glasgow. I ex actually I love that job, but 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:02.480 it was in a It was the upstairs bar of 0:05:02.520 --> 0:05:07.760 a restaurant called the Ubiquitous Chip in Glasgow. That was 0:05:07.760 --> 0:05:09.880 the name of the It's a very fancy restaurant. Actually, 0:05:09.920 --> 0:05:12.200 it's very popular. It's still there and if you've going 0:05:12.240 --> 0:05:16.119 to Glasgow, please spend your increasingly devalued American dollar there. 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:17.599 It's a very fancy restaurant. 0:05:17.640 --> 0:05:20.840 And upstairs they had a bar where they sold a 0:05:20.880 --> 0:05:26.640 beer called Fustenberg. Fustenburg is a German lager beer which 0:05:26.680 --> 0:05:28.240 they sold on tap. I think you can get it 0:05:28.279 --> 0:05:30.000 in more places now, but in the time when I 0:05:30.040 --> 0:05:32.760 work there, it would be the mid to late eighties, 0:05:33.320 --> 0:05:35.600 that was the only place that I knew of, certainly 0:05:35.640 --> 0:05:38.479 in Scotland that I knew of, that you could buy 0:05:38.600 --> 0:05:42.160 Fustenburg lager beer on tap. Now this stuff is very, 0:05:42.240 --> 0:05:45.080 very strong, and the bar itself was very close to 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:49.039 Glasgow University, and Glasgow University academics used to come in 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:52.320 and say, I'll take a lager beer, because that's how 0:05:52.360 --> 0:05:56.040 academics talk. And I would say, well, okay, you can 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:58.200 have one, but you can't have any more than you 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:01.120 can have anyone too. They would have two of them 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:02.440 and they'd be like, what are you talking about, and 0:06:02.480 --> 0:06:04.719 they'd have four and then we'd have to call the police. 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:07.800 It's a very strong beer, that's what I'm saying for 0:06:07.839 --> 0:06:09.040 Bustenburg Lager beer. 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:13.080 And I worked in that. I love that. Joe. 0:06:13.800 --> 0:06:16.880 Working in that bar I think was the best training 0:06:17.040 --> 0:06:20.640 ever for what I ended up doing later on, like 0:06:20.680 --> 0:06:24.360 doing stand up and doing you know, the late night 0:06:24.400 --> 0:06:27.000 show and interview shows and stuff and even game shows. 0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:29.719 Because it was very improvisational. You were dealing with a 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:32.599 lot of noise and a lot of different stimulus, a 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:35.159 lot of different people all trying to get your attention, 0:06:35.440 --> 0:06:38.080 and you had to improvise. You had to improvise a 0:06:38.120 --> 0:06:41.640 great deal, and improvisation is fun. 0:06:41.680 --> 0:06:44.000 It. It was kind of like the way. 0:06:43.839 --> 0:06:47.320 You see young comics now they do crowd work in 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:50.960 clubs and they film themselves doing crowd work and then 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:52.760 they put it up on the internet. 0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:54.040 And I think that's fine. 0:06:54.440 --> 0:06:57.800 I'm glad I didn't do that though, because crowd work, 0:06:57.880 --> 0:06:59.600 which basically working in a bar like. 0:06:59.520 --> 0:07:01.359 That kind of is crowd work. You know, you just 0:07:01.440 --> 0:07:03.440 kind of like, hey, where are you from? Where you're 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:05.120 dumb or wherever? The thing is. 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:09.320 That I don't know how much I would want that 0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:14.000 recorded for later. It's one of the things I think about, 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:18.280 you know, with younger people now, particularly younger performers. I 0:07:19.120 --> 0:07:22.239 think it's great that they have access to so much 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:25.760 media so quickly, But I also think there's a downside 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:28.480 to it, which is, and you know, many of running 0:07:28.520 --> 0:07:30.680 too this already, that a lot of the stuff you 0:07:30.680 --> 0:07:33.880 do when you're starting now isn't perhaps your best stuff, 0:07:33.960 --> 0:07:37.440 or your most sensitive stuff, or your more thought out stuff. 0:07:37.480 --> 0:07:40.600 You know, you're more considered stuff, and you end up 0:07:40.640 --> 0:07:43.040 it comes back and gets you later on. I mean, look, 0:07:43.080 --> 0:07:45.240 it doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to be that. 0:07:45.320 --> 0:07:46.200 There seems to be. 0:07:46.120 --> 0:07:50.280 A real thrust right now in all forms of particularly 0:07:50.360 --> 0:07:53.240 entertainment media, which is I mean, really, what is that 0:07:53.320 --> 0:07:57.800 but to try and find to catch somebody out at 0:07:57.800 --> 0:08:00.440 some point in their career, and you know, and shame 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:03.760 shame them for a clumsy thing they said, or a 0:08:03.760 --> 0:08:04.680 silly thing they said. 0:08:04.920 --> 0:08:07.160 It's time to me, it's hand to everybody. 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:11.200 I think I think it's mean spirited and mean spirited 0:08:11.200 --> 0:08:18.120 of course gets clicks. There was a project that my son, 0:08:18.240 --> 0:08:21.200 my younger son, was given in school. The teacher gave 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:24.560 them he said that you have twenty minutes twenty minutes 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:27.720 to find a piece of good news on conventional media. 0:08:27.840 --> 0:08:29.880 Go out and find a piece of good news. And 0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:33.839 they really struggle to find it. You know, because when 0:08:33.840 --> 0:08:36.600 you watch the news back in the day when TV 0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:39.400 was a thing, you know, they would be all the 0:08:39.520 --> 0:08:41.520 terrible yews about what was going on, but the end 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:43.760 it was always, you know, a parrot that could write, 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:46.679 a skateboard or a pig that could sing Dixie or something, 0:08:46.679 --> 0:08:49.200 and it cheered everybody up towards the end of the news. 0:08:49.240 --> 0:08:51.520 Now, of course that impulse is. 0:08:51.480 --> 0:08:54.760 Taken over by I guess TikTok and Instagram, where you 0:08:54.800 --> 0:08:58.480 see parents that can do skateboards or dogs that can 0:08:58.559 --> 0:09:03.080 juggle or stuff like that. But but I think it's 0:09:03.160 --> 0:09:06.200 kind of a lot of it is you can get 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:07.360 too much of it, you know what I mean. 0:09:07.440 --> 0:09:08.920 I don't mean you can get too much good news. 0:09:08.960 --> 0:09:10.280 I mean you can get too much of that stuff 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:14.679 doesn't do anything anyway. What the hell was I talking about? 0:09:14.800 --> 0:09:17.560 Oh yeah, what I'm saying is I don't know if 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:21.600 it's a great idea for young performers to have everything 0:09:21.640 --> 0:09:24.319 out there right away, but you know, the genies out 0:09:24.320 --> 0:09:25.920 of the bottle, that's going to happen. 0:09:25.960 --> 0:09:27.160 I'm glad it didn't happen to me. 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:31.480 So I worked in one bar in Glasgow, which I 0:09:31.840 --> 0:09:34.880 really loved working there. You know, if I wasn't an 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:37.480 alcoholic who was sober and I am still sober by 0:09:37.480 --> 0:09:41.120 the way, thanks Internet rumors, but I've been sober for thirty. 0:09:40.800 --> 0:09:43.000 Three years now, over thirty three years. 0:09:43.240 --> 0:09:46.760 It's funny how you get the sense some people would 0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:51.680 really be delighted if I if I wasn't sober. I 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:54.199 don't know if I'm imagining that, if I'm paranoid or something. 0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:56.599 You get the idea that people be like, oh yeah, 0:09:56.840 --> 0:09:57.920 say it doesn't work. 0:09:58.360 --> 0:10:04.760 It works if you work it the uh. But the 0:10:04.880 --> 0:10:05.800 idea of. 0:10:08.280 --> 0:10:11.000 You know, having stuff out there when you're young, I 0:10:11.000 --> 0:10:14.560 don't know. But this is always the problem I've had 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:20.520 with performance. I like to perform live because when it's done, 0:10:20.600 --> 0:10:24.040 it's done, it's over, and it's finished, and everybody goes 0:10:24.080 --> 0:10:27.240 away and you remember it the way you remember it, 0:10:27.280 --> 0:10:28.800 whether you liked it, you didn't like it, It's up 0:10:28.840 --> 0:10:34.400 to you. But now you know the struggle. The kind 0:10:34.400 --> 0:10:36.280 of tension I feel was is I don't really like 0:10:36.320 --> 0:10:40.079 and I've never really enjoyed visibility. I like, obviously, you 0:10:40.679 --> 0:10:42.400 need to have it. I want people to come to 0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:44.560 the show, and so they need to know who I am, 0:10:44.640 --> 0:10:48.280 and they need to know where I'm playing and what 0:10:48.320 --> 0:10:50.079 I'm doing, and I want to entertaining people. 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:52.640 I like doing it. I love doing it. It's my thing. 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:55.880 But at the same time, I struggle with the idea 0:10:56.040 --> 0:10:58.160 of visibility because. 0:10:58.040 --> 0:11:00.000 I don't know. It makes me feel uncomfortable. 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:03.000 I feel like maybe I'm just I think it's probably 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:05.800 one to have your cake and eat it, which is 0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:08.679 a phrase I've never understood anyway. I mean, what's the 0:11:08.720 --> 0:11:11.200 point of having a cake and not eating it. It's like, oh, 0:11:11.240 --> 0:11:13.800 he wants to have his cake and eat it. Well, 0:11:14.240 --> 0:11:15.880 what else are you going to do with a fucking cake? 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:18.400 I mean, it doesn't make any sense to it anyway. 0:11:18.920 --> 0:11:22.120 The short answer to the question hang on my nose 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:27.960 is running a bit. That's probably the cocaine A. The 0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:30.280 short answer to the question can you name the bars 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:32.800 you worked in? I worked in one. It's called the 0:11:32.880 --> 0:11:35.680 u Beiguitous Chip in Glasgow. Gosh, I mean a bear. 0:11:36.000 --> 0:11:38.600 Try and cut these answers down a little bit. 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:46.680 We're gonna be here all day and we're not Hello. 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:49.959 This is Greig Ferguson and I want to let you 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:52.360 know I have a brand new stand up comedy special 0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:56.440 out now on YouTube. It's called I'm So Happy and 0:11:56.640 --> 0:11:59.520 I would be so happy if you checked it out 0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:02.559 watch the special. Just go to my YouTube channel at 0:12:02.559 --> 0:12:05.160 the Craig Ferguson Show and is this right there? 0:12:05.520 --> 0:12:08.240 Just click it and play it and it's free. I 0:12:08.280 --> 0:12:08.760 can't look. 0:12:08.760 --> 0:12:10.120 I'm not gonna come around your house and show you 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:11.600 how to do it. If you can't do it, then 0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:13.200 you can't have it. But if you can figure it out, 0:12:13.240 --> 0:12:21.280 it's yours. This is from Moss Wheeling. That's a lovely name, 0:12:21.360 --> 0:12:25.600 isn't it, moss Wheeling. It sounds like a like a 0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:27.880 village in the middle of England somewhere. 0:12:28.040 --> 0:12:30.560 Welcome to moss Wheeling. Joy the cricket. 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:34.480 Moss says, would you ever make a puppet show for kids? 0:12:34.920 --> 0:12:42.640 The rabbit on your old show always seemed joyful? Yeah, nah, nah, 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:44.400 I don't want to do a publish show for kids. 0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:49.640 That's it. It's a nice short answer. I don't want 0:12:49.640 --> 0:12:51.640 to do it. I want to really do a puplish show. Friend. 0:12:51.920 --> 0:12:55.120 I loved doing the puppets on the Late Night Show. 0:12:55.400 --> 0:12:57.400 But the reason we did the puppets on the Late 0:12:57.480 --> 0:12:58.960 Night Show, and I think I've talked about this. 0:12:58.880 --> 0:13:01.880 Before, but it was because we had no money. I 0:13:01.920 --> 0:13:02.240 don't know. 0:13:02.400 --> 0:13:04.120 If you look, if you go and look back at 0:13:04.120 --> 0:13:09.720 the countless millions of pirated clips of that my old 0:13:09.760 --> 0:13:13.200 Late Night Show on YouTube, on the internet everywhere, you'll 0:13:13.240 --> 0:13:16.360 see that the show that I was making at the time, 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:20.520 we were making five shows a week, and we had really, 0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:23.400 honestly no money to make the show we were making it. 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:27.200 We had no band, we had very few writers, we 0:13:27.240 --> 0:13:30.720 had very few resources a lot of the times, particularly 0:13:30.760 --> 0:13:33.360 in the first eight years of the show. In the 0:13:33.400 --> 0:13:35.560 last two years, we had a slightly bigger studio, but 0:13:35.679 --> 0:13:38.280 in the first eight years of the show, the studio 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:41.200 was so small that if we had a guest band on, 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:46.760 like I don't know, Adele was on, or the Damned 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:49.600 or the sex Pistols or the buzz Coos or whoever 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:53.360 it was on Echo and the Bunnyman. Okay, go whatever, 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:56.080 you understand what band is. But when they were on 0:13:56.120 --> 0:14:00.280 the show, we had to record the band first, play 0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:02.720 their music, and then we had to move all their 0:14:02.760 --> 0:14:05.240 equipment off so we could get the late night equipment on. 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:07.800 And then I would do the show, and at the 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:09.600 end of the show, when the band would be on, 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:12.040 I would pretend to introduce the band, and then we 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:15.280 would edit the band in. But I'd already seen them 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:16.640 and so with everyone else. 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:19.120 It wasn't ideal, but it worked for us anyway. 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:22.800 The puppet thing was we just saw some puppets lying 0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:24.520 around the office, and we don't all try that, and 0:14:24.560 --> 0:14:27.760 it's resonated with people. People do love puppets, I think 0:14:27.800 --> 0:14:31.840 because puppets can say things that humans aren't allowed to say. 0:14:31.880 --> 0:14:34.440 That's the convention, isn't it. And I think that's true. 0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:37.640 The best example of that, of course, it's a former 0:14:37.720 --> 0:14:41.800 guest on this show is a triumph the Insult comedy 0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:43.840 Insult Dog. It was a fabulous puppet. 0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:48.400 But I don't think I would do a puppet show 0:14:48.440 --> 0:14:49.640 for kids or for anyone else. 0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:54.920 But you know, never say never. This is from swackhar Ghosts. 0:14:55.000 --> 0:15:00.960 I think I'm pronouncing that probably swack car ghosts see 0:15:00.960 --> 0:15:04.640 you maybe go see I don't know, Swakhar. It's a 0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:07.200 very nice name, so it's maybe Indian. 0:15:07.320 --> 0:15:09.240 I don't know. I've probably annoyed a bunch of people 0:15:09.240 --> 0:15:12.000 by even suggesting. 0:15:11.560 --> 0:15:14.920 That it might not be. I don't know wherever it's from. Anyway, 0:15:14.920 --> 0:15:18.720 It's an innocent mistake. But Swakar says, I'm getting married 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:25.240 in November this year. Any advice for a healthy married life. No, actually, 0:15:26.600 --> 0:15:29.720 I think I might have some advice for the healthy 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:30.400 married life. 0:15:31.400 --> 0:15:36.160 And it's to do with this. This is coffee. And look, 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:37.840 I won't lie to you. I was married a couple 0:15:37.880 --> 0:15:38.840 of times the three. 0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:42.840 To be honest, I was married once in the eighties 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:45.800 for a couple of years. That was a I mean, 0:15:46.520 --> 0:15:49.640 look nothing about the lovely woman I was married to, 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:52.000 but we were both drinking a lot, you know, and 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:55.800 it wasn't a marriage as I understand it now. And 0:15:55.840 --> 0:15:59.600 then I was married in nineteen ninety eight. 0:15:59.640 --> 0:16:01.080 I got my again, and. 0:16:02.720 --> 0:16:04.600 That was you know, it was what it was, and 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:06.560 it didn't work out, but we had a lovely son 0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:09.680 who is obviously still my son and who. 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:12.160 I love very much, so that was great. And the 0:16:12.600 --> 0:16:13.200 boon from that. 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:15.480 But I've been married now since two thousand and eight, 0:16:16.240 --> 0:16:20.160 and here's what I would say. It's coffee coffee time 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:23.400 because every morning, whether I'm like on the road and 0:16:23.480 --> 0:16:28.920 away from home or in or at home, we have 0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:29.520 coffee time. 0:16:29.560 --> 0:16:31.160 Every morning. We sit down, we have a couple of 0:16:31.280 --> 0:16:33.080 very good coffee, and we talk. 0:16:34.320 --> 0:16:38.680 And a lot of the times, I'd say maybe like 0:16:39.080 --> 0:16:43.000 eighty percent of the time, I don't talk that much. 0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:49.440 I listened to a lot of thanks. 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:51.440 And a lot of you know, my wife is very 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:58.359 is very plugged into news and current events and politics. 0:16:58.400 --> 0:17:00.400 She pays a great deal attention to all that. I 0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:06.520 actually don't I feel like something BIG's gonna happen, I'll 0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:10.399 hear about it, probably from her, And that's kind of 0:17:10.400 --> 0:17:12.639 where I get my news. It's a trusted source. So 0:17:12.680 --> 0:17:15.760 we we have coffee time because news now. And this 0:17:15.880 --> 0:17:18.399 is one of the conflicts I have about even doing 0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:24.000 this what I'm doing right now, which is everything in media. 0:17:24.080 --> 0:17:26.680 All media is social media. There's no you know, there's 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:29.480 nothing but social media. When they talk about legacy media, 0:17:29.560 --> 0:17:32.440 you go, what are you talking about. Everything's a fucking website. 0:17:32.480 --> 0:17:36.080 Everything is you know, everything everybody's got their tweets and 0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:39.120 their you know, their instagrams and their social media. Everyone's 0:17:39.200 --> 0:17:43.600 looking for traffic on their site, which you know, fine, 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:47.600 but it's but that's what it is. And and I 0:17:47.680 --> 0:17:49.560 find that And I don't know if you guys know this, 0:17:50.040 --> 0:17:56.400 but I find the the hyperbolic nature of reporting to 0:17:56.440 --> 0:18:04.720 be exhausting, really honestly, honesty, goodness exhausting, and I find 0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:07.520 it depressing. It's like, you go, this is a really 0:18:07.520 --> 0:18:09.760 big thing that's gonna happen, and we should all be worried. 0:18:10.280 --> 0:18:14.199 And then then nothing happens or something does happen. But 0:18:14.200 --> 0:18:15.200 what the fuck did the worrying? 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:17.440 Do you know? Did that help? I don't know. 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:20.000 I mean, I know a lot of people disagree with me, like, no, 0:18:20.119 --> 0:18:22.240 you've got to stay connected to what's going on, But 0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:25.359 I'm like, I don't know, I don't know if I 0:18:25.920 --> 0:18:30.000 if I really fucking do. I mean, especially now that 0:18:30.040 --> 0:18:32.359 I'm married to someone who is connected to what's going on, 0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:35.160 I'll hear it from her and that's a trusted source 0:18:35.400 --> 0:18:37.680 for me. Like when she says, oh, guess what's going 0:18:37.720 --> 0:18:40.720 on in Washington and then she tells me and I'm like, oh, 0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:41.200 my God. 0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:44.400 And then the trick is to have really good coffee. 0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:46.480 That's what I'm saying, because then whenever you're listening to 0:18:46.520 --> 0:18:49.520 something you know, and then. 0:18:49.400 --> 0:18:51.600 You taste the coffee, you're like, oh my god, that's delicious, 0:18:52.160 --> 0:18:54.280 and then you can hear things. And I'm not saying 0:18:54.320 --> 0:18:54.919 I'm not lessening. 0:18:54.920 --> 0:18:58.320 Of course I'm listening, but but I'm I'm also really 0:18:58.400 --> 0:19:04.000 enjoying the coffee. And I think that I think that's 0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:08.240 that's what it is for me. So a healthy married 0:19:08.280 --> 0:19:12.720 life coffee. Now, there are considerations here. Obviously there may 0:19:12.760 --> 0:19:18.320 be cultural or religious implications for you that require you 0:19:18.400 --> 0:19:22.000 not to drink coffee. Perhaps coffee isn't isn't you know, 0:19:22.119 --> 0:19:24.600 isn't something you enjoy or doing it. But find a 0:19:24.640 --> 0:19:31.959 coffee substitute, perhaps water, perhaps, I don't know, scotch, whatever, 0:19:32.000 --> 0:19:33.320 you enjoy drinking in the morning. 0:19:33.359 --> 0:19:34.480 I used to enjoy drinking. 0:19:35.680 --> 0:19:38.440 I used to people say I'm not an alcoholic, because 0:19:38.960 --> 0:19:40.720 you know, I didn't realize I was an alcoholic until 0:19:40.760 --> 0:19:42.399 I drank in the morning. And I certainly when I 0:19:42.440 --> 0:19:45.160 was drinking, which is a long time ago, I did 0:19:45.240 --> 0:19:48.120 drink in the morning. And what people don't tell you 0:19:48.280 --> 0:19:50.560 about drinking in the morning. I'm not advocating this, but 0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:53.359 I will say this, if you're an alcoholic drinking in 0:19:53.400 --> 0:19:57.800 the morning, it's the best bit. That's the best bit, 0:19:58.320 --> 0:20:00.840 that's the only bit that's good. At the end of it, 0:20:00.840 --> 0:20:02.720 it's just like, oh, thank God if you can hold 0:20:02.720 --> 0:20:07.440 it down, which is tricky a lot of the time. 0:20:07.920 --> 0:20:08.320 All right. 0:20:08.400 --> 0:20:10.960 This is from so the Kyo Good Marriage coffee or 0:20:10.960 --> 0:20:16.720 coffee equivalent. This is from Christine krys Up. How many 0:20:16.760 --> 0:20:19.040 tattoos do you have now? And what are the stories 0:20:19.080 --> 0:20:22.440 behind some of your favorites. It's an interesting thing about tattoos. 0:20:22.440 --> 0:20:26.680 I think tattoos are a bit like sex or murder. 0:20:27.320 --> 0:20:29.720 I think that, you know, the first one is the 0:20:29.720 --> 0:20:32.440 most difficult, then after that they get kind of easier. 0:20:32.720 --> 0:20:34.800 And the truth is, the way I feel about tattoos 0:20:34.800 --> 0:20:37.520 now is not the same as I felt when I 0:20:37.560 --> 0:20:39.800 got my first tattoo, and I think most people with 0:20:40.840 --> 0:20:43.520 do who have tattoos now kind of feel this way. 0:20:43.560 --> 0:20:46.320 I think the ones I talk to you get one, 0:20:46.400 --> 0:20:49.960 it's very significant. Oh this is a tribal marking for 0:20:50.240 --> 0:20:54.360 my favorite you know saying, or this is my mom's 0:20:54.440 --> 0:20:59.359