Speaker 1: This is cut to It with Steve Smith Senior at
Speaker 1: production of The Black Effect and I Heart Radio. I'm
Speaker 1: Steve Smith Senior and I'm John and this is cut
Speaker 1: to it. Good do it, Good do it. They's getting
Speaker 1: down to do it. Good do it. We asked the
Speaker 1: questions you always want to know, but no one ever asked,
Speaker 1: let's cut to it. You ain't heard am about it?
Speaker 1: Then we're about to let you know. It's all. Made
Speaker 1: it through the weekend. It was pretty good. Made it through. Hey,
Speaker 1: some people don't make it. So made made it through
Speaker 1: and weekend. Like we ain't supposed to be celebratory. You
Speaker 1: made it through, like you're supposed to make it through
Speaker 1: the work week. Yeah. Sometimes though that the weekend if
Speaker 1: you're a husband or dad and you know you got
Speaker 1: more work. Yeah. So sometimes it's like sports activity, yes,
Speaker 1: all that stuff. Yeah, so it doesn't Sometimes you're like, man,
Speaker 1: I can't wait your structure combs. Yeah. Right, So that's
Speaker 1: why I say said made it true. It's not not bad,
Speaker 1: it's just but then you find yourself tired, right because
Speaker 1: if you just want to go, we just want to
Speaker 1: get home, Like for me this weekend, you just want
Speaker 1: to go you want to get home, you want to
Speaker 1: watch some NBA playoffs? Dumb, My bad man Steve Context
Speaker 1: is a is a Clippers fan. Yes, so you to punish. Stop,
Speaker 1: I've been broke. I mean the facts of the facts.
Speaker 1: But do I not ride with my teail you dude?
Speaker 1: Oh no, that's that's that's definitely a fact. You rock
Speaker 1: the Clippers at you rocked the and there's no and
Speaker 1: it's no knock against the Clippers. But but I'm excited. Look,
Speaker 1: I this is the furthest they've been. They've never been
Speaker 1: to a conference finals. Right, well, we ain't going no further.
Speaker 1: We you know what, I'm playing playoff p He's showing
Speaker 1: up though, I mean, just not on the free throw line.
Speaker 1: But yeah, stop. Did you hear what Shannon Shark said
Speaker 1: about He called him poly est? You know why because
Speaker 1: when you heat poly esd up, it melts meat on it.
Speaker 1: He melts Come on playoff playoff, it would be a
Speaker 1: much different series if Kawal Leonard was I believe it
Speaker 1: may be a worst series. I'd love to hear your
Speaker 1: thoughts on why you think that. We look at all
Speaker 1: these guys that are getting together with other superstars. Brooklyn
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not a huge fan of Leonard just
Speaker 1: in general or of him coming coming to say hypothely,
Speaker 1: come to the Lakers, I mean the Clippers, because Dame
Speaker 1: is such an ice sol player. He could give you fifty,
Speaker 1: but he doesn't play defense right. And if he when
Speaker 1: he goes in those fifty points, when he's going cold,
Speaker 1: when he goes cold and he's shooting a thirty eight
Speaker 1: footer is dunking off the rim and the other team
Speaker 1: is getting a ball and spreading down the transition and transition.
Speaker 1: And if you're gonna have those type of all stars,
Speaker 1: you gotta have some of those all stars. You gotta
Speaker 1: have your specialists. And I think teams are starting to
Speaker 1: see that. If you're gonna have some specialists, you gotta
Speaker 1: have guys to show up on both end of today's NBA.
Speaker 1: You gotta have those guys there even And that's why
Speaker 1: I think the Clippers rousso overall. The only thing I've
Speaker 1: always come to is is Paul George and Kauai too similar.
Speaker 1: Like you know, you know what I'm saying, Like you
Speaker 1: have you have Lebron and a D. Complimentary players. A
Speaker 1: D can do some things. Lebron can do. Lebron can
Speaker 1: do some things they they can't do. You look at
Speaker 1: even though Brooklyn got eliminated, You look at Katie and James,
Speaker 1: Harden and Kyrie. They all do something. They all do
Speaker 1: things that are similar, but then they all have distinct differences. Heye,
Speaker 1: excuse me, Kauai and Paul George are very similar. Do
Speaker 1: you think Paul George plays just as good of defense.
Speaker 1: He's a good defensive player. Yeah. So, but you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, like complimentary. This is the only thing
Speaker 1: that I see with with that particular duo that they're
Speaker 1: not that complementary. It's almost like washing rintchs repeat, we
Speaker 1: got the same guy that you know what, it seems
Speaker 1: like though he seemed to play better as the head
Speaker 1: guy versus Paul. Absolutely agree with that. He seems to
Speaker 1: be outstanding batman. He has gotten lost in translation in
Speaker 1: the game of being a robin and everybody can't do that, right.
Speaker 1: Remember how much Chris Bosh struggle when Lebron came to
Speaker 1: the Heat. It was, it was it's different when you're
Speaker 1: used to being the guy who gets buckets and then
Speaker 1: you gotta have to take the second seat or with
Speaker 1: Chris bosh that third seat, SA. I'm really I'm a
Speaker 1: basketball fan that knows zero about basketball. We we always
Speaker 1: joke about this, like when we're chilling. You know more
Speaker 1: about basketball, but I don't. I don't feel confident talking
Speaker 1: about it. So I look at it purely from a
Speaker 1: I don't even look at statistics anymore. I just look
Speaker 1: at like I watched a guy play. I'm really surprised
Speaker 1: how James Harten morphed his game, right. I also look
Speaker 1: at people are talking about Kevin during he can't win
Speaker 1: the big one. He carried that team, he missed the shot, Okay, great.
Speaker 1: I just look at it purely as a not as appears,
Speaker 1: not as someone who knows the game, not as athleticism
Speaker 1: being an athlete. I just kind of go, man, I
Speaker 1: love watching basketball. I love I love playoff basketball. Me too.
Speaker 1: I'll watch every single playoff game. My wife knows when
Speaker 1: playoffs are on. I'm watching unless it becomes like a
Speaker 1: complete beat down, like the like that Hawks game the
Speaker 1: other night, which a man, how about the Hawks? Man?
Speaker 1: What's interesting? Where you say that's interesting because you have
Speaker 1: a head coach that didn't want the job, an interim
Speaker 1: head coach, and they didn't really want to give them
Speaker 1: the job. They ran out the other guy, and I
Speaker 1: think I find it extremely interesting with Trey Young. And
Speaker 1: this is the part about sports that you gotta be
Speaker 1: careful of when you draft your franchise. And then you
Speaker 1: allow who's gonna coach by how they work with one individual,
Speaker 1: and one individual doesn't buy into it, he doesn't like
Speaker 1: how he's being coached. And then that guy gets fired.
Speaker 1: And then now you see, you know, quote unquote, you
Speaker 1: gotta give him the buy in he signed that check right,
Speaker 1: And then now you got a guy Holiday Holiday is
Speaker 1: putting them paws on it. If he's always Holiday is
Speaker 1: a defensive monster, that's what you want him to do. Correct,
Speaker 1: But I find it interested in is now But tray
Speaker 1: st he's still getting how many uses? Some buckets? Some buckets.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying is he's a young guy who
Speaker 1: still needs to develop. Will he be a superstar? I
Speaker 1: want to see can he can? Can he come out
Speaker 1: next year and start where he finished in the playoffs. Oh,
Speaker 1: that's a good point. I also think they've got uh,
Speaker 1: they got they got a sneaky good roster too. Spircher
Speaker 1: is archer. I don't know how to pronounce that. But
Speaker 1: he's he's been good. Collins is a good player. Cappella
Speaker 1: many they gotta it's not just Trey Young and everyone
Speaker 1: else like they have. They have a pretty Solidit a
Speaker 1: random thought of capella and the time I'm going, does
Speaker 1: he dye his hair? And that right? Because darn that
Speaker 1: looks good? Spree pa just that on the on the
Speaker 1: baalty just get you, just get you can Just like
Speaker 1: That's when I say I am so checked out as
Speaker 1: far as an analyst of basketball. I just look at
Speaker 1: it just as a fan, like okay, so as a fan,
Speaker 1: who would you who would you like to see in
Speaker 1: the finals? So I would like to see Milwaukee in
Speaker 1: the finals because they're a small market team. I don't
Speaker 1: want to deal with Janice being a champion and him
Speaker 1: being a champion at such a all. He's still raw
Speaker 1: very much so and he becomes a champion, then people
Speaker 1: are gonna let off on him and he does He's
Speaker 1: not gonna be held to that that that that standard up.
Speaker 1: He still needs to improve because now he has that ring,
Speaker 1: right And I say that and people listening because I hear,
Speaker 1: I hear, well, this guy he's a super Bowl champion. Okay,
Speaker 1: but the brother can't make a free throw? Yeah and
Speaker 1: n but but it always comes back to I feel
Speaker 1: like there is a different standard for some of these
Speaker 1: younger players today than it was for the guys who
Speaker 1: came out like in the early two thousand's, like the Lebrons,
Speaker 1: like the Chris Paul's, who you know, maybe going to
Speaker 1: the finals, but those guys were ringer, not ring Maybe
Speaker 1: maybe they they up the up, but three one then
Speaker 1: cat check. But you know what I'm saying, Like I
Speaker 1: have always felt like the uh, this last regime of superstars,
Speaker 1: the Lebrons, the Chris Paul's, the Carmelo Anthony's, it was
Speaker 1: do you got a ring or not? KD A little
Speaker 1: bit on on the fringe of that. He's got to
Speaker 1: your point like this this kind of next tier generation
Speaker 1: of your Westbrooks, your Hardens, Janice, like we they haven't
Speaker 1: really come under that kind of fire at least. And
Speaker 1: this is a conversation with me and the fellows were
Speaker 1: just having like it's it's been a I don't want
Speaker 1: to say drop off, but it's a different type of
Speaker 1: criticism that they get someone to. I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: you know, not to make it football versus basketball. But
Speaker 1: it has been times when you look at it is
Speaker 1: what does he have a ring? Well? What else? Right?
Speaker 1: So I get what you're saying. So I just see
Speaker 1: Yannice as I say, ideal. I think it'll be cool
Speaker 1: Milwaukee and who I got the Phoenix I want. I
Speaker 1: think that be the most that'd be the most balanced match.
Speaker 1: Here's what I am worried about though, with Kauai reading
Speaker 1: the reports, him and the injury, why don't they just
Speaker 1: rule him out? I don't get it, him and the
Speaker 1: injury and him becoming a free agent and knowing how
Speaker 1: he operates with injuries and he's coming back. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've wondered that. But it's it's it's you know, it's
Speaker 1: you know, some stuff at coming and we went through
Speaker 1: that before, all right, mill and I agree with that.
Speaker 1: So Milwaukee Phoenix, what's We'll see what happens. Man, it
Speaker 1: would be it would be nice balance to seven games.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know if holiday can hang with.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm rooting for that. I'm rooting for my
Speaker 1: guy North Carolina, North Carolina born Chris Paul. I want
Speaker 1: him to get a ring. I wanted to get a ring.
Speaker 1: So I got a cheer for North Carolina. So I'm
Speaker 1: I'm being I'm being non biased. I want the sun somewhere.
Speaker 1: So that's what. That's what. Who we got coming up
Speaker 1: on the Cut to It Podcast, We've got Dante Stalworth,
Speaker 1: a veteran NFL wide receiver and a native of Sacramento, California.
Speaker 1: He's turned into a journalist, contributing to The Humpington's Post,
Speaker 1: The New York Times, and CNN. Dante Starworth on the
Speaker 1: Cut to It Podcast first segment. It's called get Ice Up. Random.
Speaker 1: Iceberger questions, we gotta get you loose. You know Smithy
Speaker 1: very well. You don't know what duration is gonna go in. Smithy,
Speaker 1: go ahead and give him the first one. All right,
Speaker 1: what sports do you enjoy watching other than football? Mm hmm,
Speaker 1: that's a good question. Um, Listen, I ran track in
Speaker 1: high school, so I definitely enjoyed watching track. Um. I
Speaker 1: was terrible in high school at basketball, but I enjoyed
Speaker 1: watching Hey, no, I've watched I've watched Dante and he's
Speaker 1: very finesse, and he's extremely fast, and sometimes he could
Speaker 1: be out of control. Okay, so like a Westbrook almost
Speaker 1: no yeah. I tried to lay it up. What is
Speaker 1: something that always makes you laugh? Family Guy? The show
Speaker 1: Family Guy, the TV show Family Guy. I never seen
Speaker 1: the show? Is that like what the big fat dude
Speaker 1: and a little kid with the big hit? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What what? What? What's so funny about the show. It's
Speaker 1: it's so inappropriate that sometimes you just gotta laugh. You
Speaker 1: would enjoy it, actually, all right, you know it's kind
Speaker 1: of it's kind of like the yeah you should you
Speaker 1: should definitely put it in rotation. No, no, I put
Speaker 1: at the bottom of my list that I probably will
Speaker 1: never chance. It just doesn't seem like the show. But
Speaker 1: you know what, because my guy shut out, I'll I'll
Speaker 1: check out an episode or two. I probably should give
Speaker 1: it two episodes because I'm already walking in there going
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, yeah, you're You're not even gonna
Speaker 1: make it past the credits. He's just short change me.
Speaker 1: Let me you know, let me hand stand the time
Speaker 1: that that was germs. So what is your biggest pet peeve?
Speaker 1: I don't like being in wet clothes. Like I love
Speaker 1: to run run outside, but when it's raining, I just
Speaker 1: can't do it. Wet socks, wet clothes. I need to
Speaker 1: have them off. There's something about wet clothes and I
Speaker 1: just don't like having on all. Right. Last one, um,
Speaker 1: family traditions. One of the best things for me, especially
Speaker 1: growing up as a kid, was always my mother cooking
Speaker 1: at Thanksgiving. We would have number of family members. We
Speaker 1: have big family. My my dad had eleven brothers and sisters,
Speaker 1: so you can just imagine how many cousins and relatives
Speaker 1: we had just on my dad's side alone. So my
Speaker 1: mother would cook for everyone and uh, and she cooks
Speaker 1: really well, and so everyone would come over and it
Speaker 1: was just kind of our way, or at least her
Speaker 1: way of just you know, bringing the family together. And
Speaker 1: even family who were hanging out, you know, at their
Speaker 1: own homes or went to see other families, they were
Speaker 1: always welcome to come and get a plate. And there
Speaker 1: was always spades and dominoes, playing in basketball, uh, playing outside.
Speaker 1: I never played basketball, but I was always ready to
Speaker 1: race anybody, um in the streets, you know, things like that.
Speaker 1: So we we had that. That family tradition was always
Speaker 1: something that that has always uh, you know, brought back
Speaker 1: good memories. How do you play Spade, Dante? You play Joka? Joker. Dudes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's yea proper way. All right, let's move on. Um,
Speaker 1: So who's your favorite who is your favorite team? Growing up? Football?
Speaker 1: Basketball doesn't matter. The San Francisco forty Niners. Um. I
Speaker 1: was a freshman in high school and that was the
Speaker 1: year that um that we the year before when I say, well,
Speaker 1: am speaking of the Sampsons for Fort ninus in the
Speaker 1: eighties and nineties. So we had we had just lost
Speaker 1: to the Dallas Cowboys at home in Candlestick. Uh, Emma
Speaker 1: Smith ran all over as Michael Irvin, Alvin Harper had
Speaker 1: some big plays and j Novcheck obviously coming through in
Speaker 1: the clutch on third downs, and the defense was really good.
Speaker 1: So the next year we we made some changes. We
Speaker 1: brought in Gary Plummer, We bought in Ken Norton from Dallas.
Speaker 1: We brought in uh the incompartable Dion Sanders, who didn't
Speaker 1: make it to the team until Week three against the
Speaker 1: Saint type of And at this time I can tell
Speaker 1: you the roster of every team I knew every coach
Speaker 1: had told you. So that was the tip man. That
Speaker 1: was a team Dallas, Dallas, San Francisco, Philly. Um, that's
Speaker 1: when everything went through the NFC. Whoever NFC one, we're
Speaker 1: pretty much when within the championship, that's so who else
Speaker 1: uh the Packers with with Sterling, then you have Philly
Speaker 1: Um when they had Keith Buyers and left handed throwing
Speaker 1: the throwing a little tall suite tall suite pass have
Speaker 1: back passed and they had Charlie Garner right um, just
Speaker 1: all the different players man. So then that the NFC
Speaker 1: Championship always went through the NFC, right if you a
Speaker 1: ANFC teams ever had had a chance. I still have
Speaker 1: every game on VHS, by the way, recorded every game
Speaker 1: that's with the current week, all of it, all of it.
Speaker 1: You know. Actually you know what I used to pause.
Speaker 1: I used to hit the I used to hit the
Speaker 1: pause button just to save um, to save tape on
Speaker 1: the end of that tape, because the tape would only
Speaker 1: if you recorded it on h SP, which was the
Speaker 1: highest quality at the take up a lot of tape,
Speaker 1: pick up three hours. So I would get one game
Speaker 1: each VHS tape. And that was that was my allowance
Speaker 1: when I whenever I happened, I would save up for
Speaker 1: VHS tapes and posters are hanging my room. That was
Speaker 1: that was whatever I had, whatever I had spent my
Speaker 1: money on. Who's your favorite athlete? Growing up as a kid?
Speaker 1: Who any sport? My favor? Yeah, my soul, my favorite athlete.
Speaker 1: I was a big football fan. Football was like nine
Speaker 1: eight percent give the other two per cent was honestly
Speaker 1: was probably history and science. I was. I was. I
Speaker 1: was a nerd as a kid, and I enjoyed, uh,
Speaker 1: learning about world history, learning about American history. Um, and
Speaker 1: a lot of the A lot of the things that
Speaker 1: I that I grew up and even today still are
Speaker 1: things that I kind of harkened back to my childhood with,
Speaker 1: you know which his history. I write about politics and
Speaker 1: the history of politics, the history of sports, things like that.
Speaker 1: So it's it's all come kind of connected. But I
Speaker 1: would say probably my favorite athletes was I would have
Speaker 1: to say Dion. I was thinking between um, because my
Speaker 1: four favorite football players were we're really in no order. Um,
Speaker 1: probably between Dion, Dion, Jerry, Barry Sanders, and Bo Jackson
Speaker 1: were my four and those are my Those are my
Speaker 1: guys right there. Yeah. I actually saw Jerry We can
Speaker 1: get to that later, but I actually saw Jerry Rice
Speaker 1: as a kid, and um, he called the police on me,
Speaker 1: but I stopped because I was talking about years old.
Speaker 1: We need we need that story. I'm like, oh, we
Speaker 1: can talk about that. No, he didn't, he didn't call
Speaker 1: the police on me. It was their training camp. It
Speaker 1: was their training camp that we were in Rockland, and
Speaker 1: I was with a high school teammate of mine who
Speaker 1: lived north of Rockland. And I'm from Sacramento. So I
Speaker 1: was going, uh, you know, to his home and um
Speaker 1: in Grass Valley. Huh, You're going to Garry's home. No,
Speaker 1: I know, my my high school quarterback. I actually didn't
Speaker 1: know that when I was calling the police and then
Speaker 1: I was in the bush. So I'll give you the
Speaker 1: quicker version. So the quicker version is, as we're driving
Speaker 1: by Rockland, this is during the summer, and this is
Speaker 1: right around the time when training campus it's starting. And
Speaker 1: so I knew everything about Jay Rice, who was one
Speaker 1: of my favorite players, one of my prob you know,
Speaker 1: one of my favorite athletes. So I knew that his
Speaker 1: wife's name was Jackie. I knew that, Um, you know,
Speaker 1: I just knew his family dynamic. Anything about jer Rice
Speaker 1: I had read about because I loved him so much
Speaker 1: as a kid and so as as we were stopping
Speaker 1: to get gas. In front of us, there was a
Speaker 1: little convertibles like a blueish Mercedes with the license plate
Speaker 1: that said something like for you Jackie or Jackie. And
Speaker 1: I remember looking like, oh, that's Jay Rice's wife's name.
Speaker 1: And then I looked at the person in the car
Speaker 1: which I was behind, and I'm like, yo, that's Jerry
Speaker 1: and and my and my teammate was like, how can
Speaker 1: you tell us? Jerrys in back of his hand, like, Bro,
Speaker 1: I know that being head, that's Jerry Rice. Bro follow him.
Speaker 1: So we followed him years old. That is my favorite criminal.
Speaker 1: Begin follow him right, follow I got it. I got
Speaker 1: his plate right right right right on a banker. But
Speaker 1: you weren't North South. As for me, it was my
Speaker 1: deductive reasoning that we were in Rockland, its training camp.
Speaker 1: It's a Mercedes Bens. Jackie's a license plate that's his
Speaker 1: wife's name. And I know Jerry. I know the back
Speaker 1: of Jerry Rice's head, the African American man. Hey, but
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, like, so we we didn't even get gas.
Speaker 1: We followed Jerry right so I think you know, and
Speaker 1: we're in this beat up We're in this beat up
Speaker 1: pick up truck right, and he just sees two guys
Speaker 1: following him. So he's in his mind. You know, I'm
Speaker 1: not thinking this at a time. I'm fifteen years old, right,
Speaker 1: this is my idol. I'm going to like say hi
Speaker 1: to him. So oh yeah, I was, oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah I was. I was all. I was all
Speaker 1: about it. So we we pulled in. He pulled in, which,
Speaker 1: you know, there were a lot of cars, and I
Speaker 1: figured this was the you know, the the four niners,
Speaker 1: uh parking only forty niners only parking. But we followed
Speaker 1: him in and then so he drove around the parking
Speaker 1: lot inside, so we stopped right because they were like, okay,
Speaker 1: we're following. We're actually like following him following. Now, let's
Speaker 1: just pull over here and and wait till he gets
Speaker 1: out of his car. So he parks up close, and
Speaker 1: as we see him park up close, we get out
Speaker 1: of the car to start walking towards me. Now we're
Speaker 1: probably about fifty yards away from the entrance where he's
Speaker 1: walking into. Jerry's out of his car and he's looking
Speaker 1: in our direction and he's pointing at us to security,
Speaker 1: and security is like looking at us as we're walking up,
Speaker 1: and so then the security starts walking towards us, and
Speaker 1: Jerry walks in the building and he's like, hey, you
Speaker 1: guys can't be in here. And we were like, oh,
Speaker 1: we just wanted to say hi to Jerry. And he's
Speaker 1: like that, so that's fine, I understand it, but you're
Speaker 1: not allowed to be in here. And so we left
Speaker 1: and I wasn't like, oh, I just thought Jerry right,
Speaker 1: So I was like, oh my god, I just said,
Speaker 1: what's up to Jerry? Rights? That was my story. So
Speaker 1: I had met my I don't and and of course
Speaker 1: I had like exaggerated the whole encounter. I didn't tell
Speaker 1: anyone that we stopped him partially, but um yeah, he
Speaker 1: like he was like, yo, he's probably like, Yo, these
Speaker 1: dudes right here have followed me from this light, and
Speaker 1: y'all need to make sure that you know they're not
Speaker 1: gonna run up in here and try to do whatever.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so he didn't necessarily call the police on
Speaker 1: the ends. That was obviously hyperboly, but um no, he
Speaker 1: did what you know, any self aware of human being
Speaker 1: would have done when you had two people following you
Speaker 1: in the beat up pickup Trump, we have to take
Speaker 1: a break and the morning thing. We gotta pay some bill.
Speaker 1: You got checks. I love cut to It and I
Speaker 1: love it even more when you download us and subscribe,
Speaker 1: and you can follow us on social media too, Smithie,
Speaker 1: where where at that's at? Cut to It on Instagram?
Speaker 1: What about Twitter? At? Cut to It? Facebook? Cut to
Speaker 1: It Fee? You're in Steve Smith Sr. What about online?
Speaker 1: And you can follow us at cut to It podcast
Speaker 1: dot com where you can buy merch and you can
Speaker 1: subscribe to us wherever you listen to podcasts. I got
Speaker 1: all my answers questions. Um, yeah, I got all my
Speaker 1: questions answered. That's what I'm here for, a brother, cut
Speaker 1: to a Podcast dot Com. We obviously know you grew
Speaker 1: up in northern California, so that's a great transition. Uh
Speaker 1: So tell me where are you from in the place
Speaker 1: you call your hometown Ontown is Sacramento, California, North area.
Speaker 1: Um went to Grant High School and you know we
Speaker 1: were called the Grant High Pacers Blue and Gold, and
Speaker 1: we we have you know a number of players from
Speaker 1: my high school who have played in in our plane. Um,
Speaker 1: you know in in the NFL. Now Shaq Thompson obviously
Speaker 1: from the Carolina Panthers. He's been holding it down and uh,
Speaker 1: you know, it's just it's just been great to see,
Speaker 1: you know, not not just from Sact, not just from
Speaker 1: California or I'm sorry, from my high school, but just
Speaker 1: from you know, Sacramento and in the Sacramento surrounding areas.
Speaker 1: A lot of a lot of professional athletes, a lot
Speaker 1: of a lot of NFL players are coming out of
Speaker 1: the area, and it's just it's been fun to sit
Speaker 1: back and watch these guys grow as as humans, as
Speaker 1: people and as as NFL players. Growing up, growing up
Speaker 1: in Sacramento. Now you're older, living in d C. You
Speaker 1: travel New England, New Orleans, Baltimore, all these different places. Miami. Um,
Speaker 1: how would you say, with all that you've experienced and
Speaker 1: seen in your adulthood, how would you categorize Sacramento impacting
Speaker 1: uh the way you the way you see the world
Speaker 1: today and just how you are, uh based on all
Speaker 1: your experiences, uh seeing all those different places. I think, uh,
Speaker 1: just being born and raised in Sacramento. Um, you know,
Speaker 1: my my mother did did a great job of of
Speaker 1: raising us. Uh. I have three other brothers and sisters,
Speaker 1: and you know, if my mother was very grounded and
Speaker 1: uh and in Christianity, and so she instilled a lot
Speaker 1: of that in us. And also Mama didn't play. She
Speaker 1: had the belt or statuela or whatever else was man
Speaker 1: to tie in that spirituality, that religious those religious teachings
Speaker 1: with the belt. Um. And a lot of that comes from, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, just just my my upbringing being in Sacramento scene.
Speaker 1: Uh you know, being being in Sacramento, but also realizing
Speaker 1: that um that the that the world was a lot
Speaker 1: bigger than Sacramento. So I don't think that it, uh
Speaker 1: that it impacted me in a in any kind of
Speaker 1: a negative sense. I think that, you know, growing up
Speaker 1: where you know, Sacramento, there, like any other inner city,
Speaker 1: there are gangs and drugs and violence, and uh my,
Speaker 1: you know, growing up growing up in Sacramento where I
Speaker 1: grew up in high school that I went to, that
Speaker 1: was not immune from any of those things. But you know,
Speaker 1: just the sense of community that we have in Sacramento, Um,
Speaker 1: the sense of brotherhood. I think a lot of that.
Speaker 1: It all surrounded around my high school football team, and
Speaker 1: that more than anything, brought a lot of people together.
Speaker 1: So I understood at a young age how how important
Speaker 1: sports were bringing people together. And I think that that
Speaker 1: that stayed with me, you know, through all my travels,
Speaker 1: you know, uh in throughout the NFL and college post
Speaker 1: NFL politics. I think is as as divisive as we've
Speaker 1: become as a nation. Um. I think the one thing
Speaker 1: that people can can can all agree on is how
Speaker 1: much football has has played an integral part. No, you know,
Speaker 1: no matter what your politics are, no matter what your
Speaker 1: political ideology or alliances are. I think when when people
Speaker 1: people get you know, football game, you know, it's all
Speaker 1: about their team versus your team. And somehow I've I've
Speaker 1: you know, no one has mastered it, but you know,
Speaker 1: somehow you try to find a connection between you know,
Speaker 1: what we can do as as a nation to to
Speaker 1: to to build a better cohesive, egalitarian society where where
Speaker 1: people can get along, you know, with different political ideologies
Speaker 1: at a football game, but take that to the next
Speaker 1: step and where they can get along and uh and
Speaker 1: and try to try to progress together as as a
Speaker 1: nation instead of being extremely divisive as we are. Where
Speaker 1: did your where did your thirst for knowledge come from?
Speaker 1: When you men and you're big in history, science education,
Speaker 1: Where did that thirst of knowledge come from? You know
Speaker 1: what I don't know, Man's it's just it's as long
Speaker 1: as I can remember, I was always UH as a kid,
Speaker 1: I used to read the encyclopedias that we had at home.
Speaker 1: I would always in the libraries UH that we would have,
Speaker 1: and and we would go to like, you know, as
Speaker 1: a kid in the elementary school, I would always check
Speaker 1: out like the Greek mythology books, the ancient Ancient Egypt.
Speaker 1: I loved reading about hieroglyphics and just all these things
Speaker 1: about world history. And I honestly, I don't know where
Speaker 1: it came from, but I but I do know that
Speaker 1: my parents helped foster that by um, you know, giving
Speaker 1: me books, buying me a telescope before they brought me
Speaker 1: in football. UM, all these things kind of kind of
Speaker 1: nurtured my curiosity. And UH, I think probably the biggest
Speaker 1: thing that that enabled me to understand how big the
Speaker 1: world was was that I was enamored with UM, with astronomy,
Speaker 1: with space, learning about the planets. So I knew that,
Speaker 1: you know, starting off as a kid, I knew that
Speaker 1: the world was bigger than Sacramento, UM. And and and
Speaker 1: that I think I believe that directly came from my
Speaker 1: love of learning about the planets and learning about how
Speaker 1: how different planets operate and why they are, the colors
Speaker 1: they are, the size of they are, these different things.
Speaker 1: Uh intrigued me as a kid, and um, it just
Speaker 1: kind of my intellectual curiosity blossomed as a child, and
Speaker 1: it's you know, it's it's I think it's still there.
Speaker 1: It's something that you know, I always enjoyed learning about
Speaker 1: more things, more history. There's there's so much that that's
Speaker 1: out there to be learned, and no one can know everything.
Speaker 1: So we're on a constant journey of learning no matter
Speaker 1: how old we get. Do you did you travel a
Speaker 1: lot when you were younger? Uh, in my mind, I did.
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't have the means too. But when
Speaker 1: I when I did have the means, I actually did
Speaker 1: him until probably a few years after I was in
Speaker 1: the NFL. I didn't get my passport till until it
Speaker 1: really until I was forced to because when we were
Speaker 1: when I was playing for the Patriots in two thousand
Speaker 1: and seven, we were supposed to go to China to
Speaker 1: play a preseason game, and so we had to make
Speaker 1: sure that everyone had passports, and I did not. No,
Speaker 1: I did that my passport at that time. I just
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I just got my passport. Um before free
Speaker 1: agency started. I'm sorry. So Um, and I didn't travel
Speaker 1: actually until that off season. I was the first time
Speaker 1: that I had traveled. And I went to Spain. Actually
Speaker 1: and Reggie Bush went together. Um he was shooting the
Speaker 1: commercial with David Beckham, so he had to be up
Speaker 1: at six thirty in the morning every you know, every
Speaker 1: day for the first three or four days. And I
Speaker 1: was just out just out seeing you know, mad Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what. I had some fun, you know, I
Speaker 1: was I had to word that was a key word,
Speaker 1: like he's not gonna lie, but he's not gonna incriminate
Speaker 1: the show. Again. This great discussion. Man, let's get right.
Speaker 1: Let's let's jump right into your career. Because you were
Speaker 1: drafted in the first round. You went to Tennessee, and
Speaker 1: we're gonna get into that. Man, with the University of Tennessee,
Speaker 1: the volunteers and b you're on a I look at
Speaker 1: the roster or some of the players and you were
Speaker 1: or danged to just get the opportunity to play in
Speaker 1: the league because you're you were playing with some guys
Speaker 1: that just are remarkable. But we'll get to that later
Speaker 1: overall pick to the New Orleans Saints. You play excellent,
Speaker 1: You had a great career, has some hard work, has
Speaker 1: some hard times, you know, But I really want to
Speaker 1: get into the thing that changed your life forever, right
Speaker 1: and and and um and the reason I say and
Speaker 1: why I want to jump into that because a lot
Speaker 1: of times when us after each when we make mistakes,
Speaker 1: so many people feel when whenever we say something, they
Speaker 1: only bring that up to almost shut us up, to
Speaker 1: tell us, well you did this show, shut the blank
Speaker 1: up and the humanize you. And so I wanted you
Speaker 1: to take us through that because when I also know
Speaker 1: you know to to that's your mission and you it
Speaker 1: has impacted you, and you're very forthright with that information
Speaker 1: if you spoke to a number of teams, and so
Speaker 1: I want I want our audience to hear your story
Speaker 1: and what and what it what it? What it is done?
Speaker 1: How how has it impacted both families? And you know
Speaker 1: and what you what you have to deal with just
Speaker 1: your part and now the family has to deal with
Speaker 1: they have to but what you have to deal with
Speaker 1: your part every single day. So uh, this was the
Speaker 1: off season in two thousand nine. I was coming off
Speaker 1: of um my worst year, UH career wise and football,
Speaker 1: I had been hurt. Um, you know, I had I
Speaker 1: had a couple of muscle injuries, and I just you know,
Speaker 1: speed is my game. So I wasn't able to utilize
Speaker 1: my speed, which kind of rendered me useless for the season. Uh,
Speaker 1: and even in the games, the few games that I
Speaker 1: did playing. And I had just signed the seven year,
Speaker 1: thirty five million dollar deal with the Cleveland Browns, and
Speaker 1: there it was a ten million and guarantees. And you know,
Speaker 1: I think I end up catching like seventeen passes that year,
Speaker 1: and I was, I was just I was utterly useless
Speaker 1: in my in my own mind, and so I knew
Speaker 1: that I had to get back on track. I didn't
Speaker 1: want to. I felt like I had let my teammates down.
Speaker 1: I felt like I had let myself down. And so
Speaker 1: I wanted to work my way back into the best
Speaker 1: shape that I had ever been in so I could
Speaker 1: come out and help my team win some games and
Speaker 1: and and play be the be the play there that
Speaker 1: they had paid me. The week and so the last,
Speaker 1: the last weekend before everyone was heading back to their
Speaker 1: respective teams to to start there. UH, their off season
Speaker 1: program in two thousand nine. Uh, there was a lot
Speaker 1: of guys we would we would trained down in South Florida,
Speaker 1: specifically in Miami, and you know, we trained really hard
Speaker 1: that Friday. Fridays are always you know, the hard days,
Speaker 1: So we trained really hard than a couple of guys. Uh,
Speaker 1: you know, ended up leaving, leaving from the from the
Speaker 1: place where we work out. I went to go grab
Speaker 1: a bite to eat. Uh, then so I got a
Speaker 1: boy to even. I end up getting home about seven
Speaker 1: thirty eight. I went upstairs. I was so tired from
Speaker 1: the day because I had, you know, expended so much
Speaker 1: energy on that Friday workout, and I knew that I
Speaker 1: had to get ready to go that Sunday to go
Speaker 1: to Cleveland to start the off season program. So I
Speaker 1: ended up falling to sleep, and I got a phone
Speaker 1: call about a order the two two o'clock from a
Speaker 1: teammate of mine asking me to come hang out with
Speaker 1: him for his birthday. There was a lot of guys
Speaker 1: that was gonna be there, and uh so we were
Speaker 1: all gonna kind of meet up and you know, have
Speaker 1: one last drink before we all left to go to
Speaker 1: our respective team to work out. So I got there.
Speaker 1: Uh you know, I got up, showered, went to the club.
Speaker 1: I got there, I had a few drinks, um, and
Speaker 1: I was there for probably a few hours. And then
Speaker 1: so I got home about I don't remember what time
Speaker 1: it was, every five thirty thirty in the morning, and
Speaker 1: I went to sleep. I got home, fell asleep, and
Speaker 1: I woke up around seven o'clock, close to seven, and
Speaker 1: I didn't have any food in my home. I can't
Speaker 1: cook or I couldn't cook at the time, so I
Speaker 1: didn't have any food. And the only place that I
Speaker 1: knew that was opened was a place on the beach
Speaker 1: called News Cafe, and I was in this time. I
Speaker 1: had just my my condo had just finished being built
Speaker 1: in Miami, so I was living right across the bridge,
Speaker 1: uh and downtown Miami, which is right across from the
Speaker 1: American Airlines anywhere the Miami Heat played. So this only
Speaker 1: the only place that I knew that was open. Uh
Speaker 1: you know, it was still dark out, so I was
Speaker 1: just gonna go to this place, and I was texting
Speaker 1: other friends seeing if they were up to meet me there.
Speaker 1: No one was up, so UM, I ended up driving
Speaker 1: across the bridge and that was when I encountered um
Speaker 1: Mr yas running across the highway, and by the time
Speaker 1: I could really uh you know, react or anything, I
Speaker 1: had hit him. And you know, there was there was
Speaker 1: so much uh misinformation that initially in initial reports, people
Speaker 1: were saying that I or the reporters were saying I
Speaker 1: was going eighty miles an hour, said that I ran
Speaker 1: onto a curb, ran a red light, which none of
Speaker 1: those things, uh we're true. But I just, you know,
Speaker 1: I didn't really care about that. I just wanted, initially
Speaker 1: wanted to know that that the man that I had
Speaker 1: just hit with my car was okay. And I didn't
Speaker 1: I didn't get any notification from the police. They didn't
Speaker 1: tell me anything until I waved my Miranda rights and
Speaker 1: went down to the which any attorney will tell you
Speaker 1: never to do. But I didn't feel I was. I
Speaker 1: felt like I was not trying to hide anything. I
Speaker 1: wanted to help whatever they needed um and so I
Speaker 1: waved my Miranda rights, went down to the police station
Speaker 1: and gave my statement. But you know, right before I
Speaker 1: gave my statement, the lead investigator of of of that
Speaker 1: case came out and told me that after I had
Speaker 1: asked him multiple times prior he came out and told
Speaker 1: me that that Mr. Yez didn't make it. And so
Speaker 1: you know, I I, as any normal human being would do.
Speaker 1: I broke down crime because I was like, not because
Speaker 1: of of you know, any trouble that I had thought
Speaker 1: that I was in. It was because you got some
Speaker 1: heavy information in which you were you were the driver,
Speaker 1: and it was part of your participation, right right. And
Speaker 1: and that hit me, man, because you know, I was
Speaker 1: a kind of guy like I. You know, I pretty
Speaker 1: much got along with everyone. I had never been in
Speaker 1: a fight, you know, in my life, I didn't mess
Speaker 1: with anybody. Nobody really messed with me. So I was
Speaker 1: just you know, so I wasn't you know, I wasn't
Speaker 1: that kind of guy and uh, you know, to ever
Speaker 1: like even want to like even harm anyone in a
Speaker 1: physical fight or anything. So this that really hit me hard.
Speaker 1: And um, you know, and and obviously I was concerned
Speaker 1: about I didn't know anything about Mr. Reys, but I
Speaker 1: I I obviously understood that, uh you know, as time
Speaker 1: went on, that he had a family that he was
Speaker 1: you know, I had a fifteen year old daughter and
Speaker 1: obviously you know had parents and uh and siblings, so uh,
Speaker 1: that was that was that was hard. It was, it was.
Speaker 1: It was a very difficult time for me, uh, you know,
Speaker 1: dealing with with and coming to terms with all of that.
Speaker 1: But I think, uh, two weeks later, I gave my
Speaker 1: first statement publicly, and afterwards I was not allowed to
Speaker 1: communicate with the family directly. We were we had to
Speaker 1: communicate through the channels of my attorney with their attorney.
Speaker 1: And they wanted my attorney to know the family of Mr.
Speaker 1: Rez wanted my attorney to know that they appreciated how
Speaker 1: I handled everything, and I was I was pretty dumbfounded,
Speaker 1: uh that that they would be thanking me for the
Speaker 1: way I handled everything. They they were uh uh complementary
Speaker 1: of of you know, me taking the initial steps. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: in in these situations when when there's a when there's
Speaker 1: a driver, whether the driver has been under the influence
Speaker 1: or not, they tend to flee the scene. And that
Speaker 1: as as the any psychologists or even state Attorneys office
Speaker 1: will tell you, that is a natural reaction. It's fight
Speaker 1: or flights since and and and people and but you
Speaker 1: know that was not saying that I'm a good person
Speaker 1: or any of this stuff. But you know that was
Speaker 1: never my intention and and my intention was for what
Speaker 1: happened to Mr reyas and tried to get you know,
Speaker 1: tried to call nine one one and get them out
Speaker 1: there as soon as possible. And so all of these
Speaker 1: things actually really played in my favor, not again not
Speaker 1: thinking about at the time, but all these things played
Speaker 1: into my favor. Um, you know at the end of
Speaker 1: the plea agreement. The fact that I stayed on the
Speaker 1: same the fact that I was the first one to
Speaker 1: call nine one one after multiple or a dozen calls. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, I waved my miranda rights to go down
Speaker 1: to speak to the police. Um all these things had
Speaker 1: had a positive effect on on my situation at the end,
Speaker 1: and so UM you know, I just uh, I understood
Speaker 1: that there were no winners and in anything that any
Speaker 1: outcome that was gonna happen. You know, if I went
Speaker 1: to jail for ten years, or if I didn't go
Speaker 1: to the jail at all, there were no none of
Speaker 1: that would would would give any retribution. It wouldn't bring
Speaker 1: Mr Reys back, and it wouldn't uh take my mind
Speaker 1: off to the fact every day that um, I played
Speaker 1: a role in someone losing their life. And so UM
Speaker 1: I knew at that moment that I had, I had
Speaker 1: to two decisions that I could make. I could fade
Speaker 1: into obscurity and never speak to anyone again and just
Speaker 1: go about my life and never talk about it again.
Speaker 1: Or I could put myself on the front street and
Speaker 1: be allowed, you know, be susceptible and vulnerable to attacks.
Speaker 1: But when I when I started to think about the
Speaker 1: work that I could do, the work that I could
Speaker 1: help other people with, than all of the that became
Speaker 1: a shield for people that want to attack me, that
Speaker 1: just want me to to invalidate any other topics or
Speaker 1: any other conversation that I bring up. So you know,
Speaker 1: it was always it's it's always hard. It's hard to
Speaker 1: talk about at any time. You know, it's been more
Speaker 1: than a decade and it's still just as fresh on
Speaker 1: my mind as it happened yesterday. But the thing again
Speaker 1: that I said that I that I use as a
Speaker 1: shield is to know that when when I'm speaking, specially
Speaker 1: when I go I've spoken at you know, multiple universities,
Speaker 1: UM to incoming freshmen, to UH two athletes, both men
Speaker 1: and women's sports. UM. I've done a promotional videos for
Speaker 1: the for the NHL, for the NFL obviously UM working
Speaker 1: on doing some things with the NBA. So I've been
Speaker 1: I've been active in trying to uh, you know, raise awareness,
Speaker 1: not not necessarily for driving under the influence, but just
Speaker 1: for decision making in general. And and and how we
Speaker 1: you know, how how when we make decisions, you know,
Speaker 1: they can all culminate to a situation where there are
Speaker 1: snowball effect happens. And now you know, you've made so
Speaker 1: many seemingly benign or minor decisions that culminated to a
Speaker 1: snowball effect where now it's out of your control and
Speaker 1: you can't handle it. So my job, I feel, is
Speaker 1: to make people aware of those minor decisions that they're making,
Speaker 1: um and and try to stop them from even getting
Speaker 1: to that snowball so they could control, uh, you know,
Speaker 1: a majority of the things and not have any self
Speaker 1: inflicted wounds with with consistent decisions that they're making everyday,
Speaker 1: decisions that they're making that may not seem like bad
Speaker 1: decisions and in in uh you know, as you're making them,
Speaker 1: but when you look back on things in hindsight, it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, this could have been prevented if I wouldn't
Speaker 1: have done X, Y Z or ABC so UM, I've
Speaker 1: been able to uh you know, speak at at different companies,
Speaker 1: speak in front of uh kids, and and all of
Speaker 1: this I've taken to uh you know as just as
Speaker 1: me not falling into obscurity, me not crawling into a hole,
Speaker 1: you know, or moving somewhere out of the country and
Speaker 1: just living my life and not talking to anyone again.
Speaker 1: And I feel like that would be cowardly of me.
Speaker 1: I feel like that would be um that that would
Speaker 1: be uh running away from my responsibility that I have
Speaker 1: to to continue to try to uh try to help
Speaker 1: people and give them, um an assessment of my journey
Speaker 1: and how I got there and how they can prevent
Speaker 1: going down a similar path. I think it's about that time.
Speaker 1: Just take a little breather. God, do it good, do it.
Speaker 1: Let's getting down to do it good. Hey Gerard, why
Speaker 1: did you get that T shirt? Oh? Yes, I got
Speaker 1: it from cut to a podcast dot com where we
Speaker 1: have exclusive merchandise. Shout out to our guys at seven
Speaker 1: or four shot. But yeah, you can go on, buy
Speaker 1: you a T shirt, subscribe to us wherever you listen
Speaker 1: to podcasts. To go through all of that and to
Speaker 1: know the trauma that has happened, of course to other people,
Speaker 1: but then yourself have have you been able to take
Speaker 1: care of yourself from a mental health standpoint and be
Speaker 1: able to apply self care? You know what I was.
Speaker 1: I was in a pretty bad place, as you know
Speaker 1: any anyone would be. I was in a pretty bad
Speaker 1: place initially. And I think my first steps to healing
Speaker 1: came when the family reached out. After two weeks I
Speaker 1: had to UM, I turned myself into the police and
Speaker 1: posted bail. But that's when I gave my first UM
Speaker 1: public statement and UM and shortly after that they thanked me,
Speaker 1: you know, for the way I handled things from you know,
Speaker 1: from the onset, which which honestly started my healing process.
Speaker 1: Uh didn't happen that day or the next day, or
Speaker 1: the next week or the next year. But I think
Speaker 1: the fact that the family UM was appreciative of, you know,
Speaker 1: how I handled things and UH and forgiving and they
Speaker 1: were instrumental, honestly, and and the plea agreement, UM, you know,
Speaker 1: and and the reason why people don't you know, they
Speaker 1: see a black and white situation where uh, you know,
Speaker 1: someone was under the influence and hits them with their
Speaker 1: car and that person died and they don't see you
Speaker 1: know why I didn't go to prison for ten years.
Speaker 1: But you know, there there were a lot of things
Speaker 1: that I won't really relitigate, but you know, the family
Speaker 1: understood the facts of the case, and anyone who was
Speaker 1: involved understood the facts of the case. But the family
Speaker 1: was also instrumental. And a lot of people don't know this.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I've said this publicly or not,
Speaker 1: but the family didn't want me to do any jail time.
Speaker 1: They didn't want to. They didn't want to go to court.
Speaker 1: They didn't want because basically, my defense would have had
Speaker 1: to have uh, you know, defending myself would have would
Speaker 1: have had to have put an out over over the
Speaker 1: entire case, over the circumstances of all of it, right,
Speaker 1: and and so no one wanted that. I didn't want that.
Speaker 1: The family didn't want that, and so they were instrumental
Speaker 1: and a lot of things. And again, they didn't want
Speaker 1: me to to serve any time in jail, honestly, so
Speaker 1: you didn't. You didn't serve any time, But you've also
Speaker 1: I did thirty days. But you know, they basically sentenced
Speaker 1: me with the d u I, and you got a
Speaker 1: d U I thirty days in jail. But you also
Speaker 1: are never you're not allowed or ever to have a
Speaker 1: driver's license. Correct, Yeah, I cannot m my My driver's
Speaker 1: license in Florida is suspended for life. Um. I guess
Speaker 1: I can apply for a license elsewhere. I live in Washington,
Speaker 1: d C. I've been there for almost seven years. But
Speaker 1: you know, driving again as never, um, being something that's
Speaker 1: on my mind. And I'm lucky you to live in
Speaker 1: a city where, um, you know, the uh, it's pretty
Speaker 1: easy to get around. There's a lot of people that
Speaker 1: walk around and he was he was in Baltimore doing
Speaker 1: the internship when I was there. Ain't drive there, you yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, it's and I learned that about them. You know,
Speaker 1: just you know, a lot of people just see one
Speaker 1: thing and they oh, you know, but there's things that
Speaker 1: you've been been experienced almost ten plus years now that
Speaker 1: are that's literally every day of his life that he
Speaker 1: you know, obviously the family has test to deal with
Speaker 1: that as well, but it you know, I guess one
Speaker 1: of the questions I've always wanted to ask you. I know,
Speaker 1: I've been in car accidents when I was a young kid.
Speaker 1: There's times where when I go to sleep or I
Speaker 1: close my eyes, I can see mental images of things.
Speaker 1: Have you experienced that? Yeah, um, yeah, And honestly, it's
Speaker 1: one of the reasons why I don't why why I
Speaker 1: don't necessarily care at least at this point to like
Speaker 1: drive again. Um, and uh, you know, and and it's
Speaker 1: something that uh, you know, I had to Luckily, I
Speaker 1: was very reluctant, but the NFL essentrally uh forced me to,
Speaker 1: uh to see a therapist, you know, shortly after it happened.
Speaker 1: And um, you know, just as an NFL player, you know,
Speaker 1: our whole mentality is to throw it right and and
Speaker 1: to not let your opponentsmentalize see your weaknesses, right, mental
Speaker 1: physical weaknesses. Don't let them see you tired. Right when
Speaker 1: we're training and we're doing these sprints, No no bending over,
Speaker 1: no no bill in your hands on any of these
Speaker 1: stand up, you know what I mean. All these types
Speaker 1: of things that are ingrained in you as a player,
Speaker 1: and it's not necessarily easy to switch those things off, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, in in in real life and actual life
Speaker 1: outside of the football game. So, um, there were a
Speaker 1: lot of things in those therapy sessions, man, that I
Speaker 1: that I learned about myself that um, I didn't know
Speaker 1: I was uh that that were kind of like like
Speaker 1: hidden beneath the surface, and um, you know, with without
Speaker 1: without those therapy sessions, I I don't know, you know
Speaker 1: where I would be right now. So I'm actually glad
Speaker 1: that the NFL did that, and it also enabled me
Speaker 1: to to realize, like you know, and I studied psychology
Speaker 1: to school, you think I would understand this, but I
Speaker 1: think the football aspect of my life kind of took
Speaker 1: that over. But you know, you when you speak, when
Speaker 1: you're speaking to a therapist, there's just this this uh
Speaker 1: societal norm that it's just it's shun upon and you know,
Speaker 1: we we everyone needs someone to talk to, whether we
Speaker 1: talk to our significant other, we talked to our family members,
Speaker 1: are best friends where we all speak to someone and
Speaker 1: and in times of need and times of advice, we
Speaker 1: need someone. But you know, what are some of the things,
Speaker 1: if you don't mind sharing, that you discovered through the
Speaker 1: through therapy, that were beneath those the root of some
Speaker 1: of the things that you may not even you didn't
Speaker 1: even know we're there. Um, I think there was a
Speaker 1: lot of a lot of built up anger that I
Speaker 1: didn't realize was there anger at um at me putting
Speaker 1: myself in that situation, Anger at people who didn't uh
Speaker 1: you know, know the situation but just kind of saw
Speaker 1: you know, the X y Z and they came to
Speaker 1: their own determination. Uh, not at all. Anger at Mr.
Speaker 1: Ray is just anger that I put myself in that position,
Speaker 1: and anger at a lot of the fallout of the
Speaker 1: fallout of what what transpired after. Yeah. Yeah, And because
Speaker 1: I I hadn't realized it, but I had hit it
Speaker 1: really well, because again it was just you know, I
Speaker 1: needed to stay focused on my task at hand. Uh.
Speaker 1: And and the anger just was kind of pushed off
Speaker 1: to the side. And um oh no, no, after after
Speaker 1: you went all through this, go through a trial, during
Speaker 1: this process, where would the Cleveland Browns um, well, they
Speaker 1: had just brought in a new head coach and and
Speaker 1: and honestly, there there were a couple of people behind
Speaker 1: the scenes that were that we're reaching out, uh you know,
Speaker 1: checking on me and asking if I could Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was very appreciative. And honestly, I'll be real, man,
Speaker 1: I know a lot of a lot of he gets
Speaker 1: a bad rap and some of the things. You know,
Speaker 1: obviously I don't agree with that some of the decisions
Speaker 1: that he's made, especially you know, earlier on as his
Speaker 1: tenure as commissioner. But Roger Goodale was very instrumental as well,
Speaker 1: which surprised me. I didn't know him at all, and
Speaker 1: you know, and I'm like, you know, this is like
Speaker 1: my first time meeting him in this situation, and why
Speaker 1: you're in trouble, I don't think can go go over
Speaker 1: very well? Right right? And um, and I had I
Speaker 1: had an opportunity um to speak to him one on one.
Speaker 1: He invited me in his office and one of the
Speaker 1: things he told me it was just he and I.
Speaker 1: One of the things he told me was, you know,
Speaker 1: before you walk in this office, you're not walking in
Speaker 1: here as an NFL player and I'm not the commissioner.
Speaker 1: You're walking in here as a man, and you're walking
Speaker 1: into my office and I'm a man, and we're going
Speaker 1: to have a man and man conversation. So basically, he
Speaker 1: was like, take off of your football hat. It says
Speaker 1: nothing to do with football, has nothing to do with business.
Speaker 1: We're just talking man to man. And he shared some
Speaker 1: things with me. I was like, why is he telling
Speaker 1: me all these personal things? But uh, you know, at
Speaker 1: the end of it, I realized that uh, you know,
Speaker 1: even through everything he um and people he had spoken
Speaker 1: with and uh, you know, other owners that I had
Speaker 1: played for other teams, Um, he understood, you know from
Speaker 1: what he told me and what he'd heard from them,
Speaker 1: was that, you know, he's not a bad guy at all.
Speaker 1: He's just he's a good guy that just made a
Speaker 1: horrible decision and the outcome was very bad. Uh, you know,
Speaker 1: the the outcome was uh something that was irreparable, right,
Speaker 1: And so, uh we talked a lot about about, you know,
Speaker 1: moving forward and what I what what I saw in myself,
Speaker 1: what I saw that I could do moving forward, not
Speaker 1: just to help myself, but to help society as a
Speaker 1: whole and obviously help other people in the NFL. And
Speaker 1: that was the conversation, and that was the conversation before
Speaker 1: he suspended me. He even asked me like, uh, you know,
Speaker 1: what do you think he's like if you were in
Speaker 1: my shoes. At the end of the conversation, he said, uh,
Speaker 1: if you were in my shoes, what would you do?
Speaker 1: And I said, I would probably be suspended for at
Speaker 1: least the season, And that's what he did. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying he took my word for it, but you know
Speaker 1: that that's that's what he did. And we had a
Speaker 1: great conversation. I still talked to him till this day.
Speaker 1: I can, I can text him, or maybe before COVID,
Speaker 1: I could text him and say, Hey, I'm in New York.
Speaker 1: You know, are you free tomorrow around this time, and
Speaker 1: he'd say, yeah, I'll make time come through, and he
Speaker 1: would make time for me. We'd speak for an hour
Speaker 1: or two, talk about the state of the NFL society,
Speaker 1: and and I felt like I really had his ear.
Speaker 1: And even throughout, you know, the whole thing with the protests,
Speaker 1: I talked to him a number of times and you know,
Speaker 1: and and told him some things that I thought that
Speaker 1: was not you know, that was not okay with what
Speaker 1: the NFL was doing, and things that he wanted to
Speaker 1: do moving forward. And I appreciate him, you know, for
Speaker 1: he was there. He was he was there for me
Speaker 1: and and checking on me regularly. And he didn't have to.
Speaker 1: You know, I was suspended. I was out of the
Speaker 1: league essentially, and you know, he had no reason to.
Speaker 1: He had every reason to kind of wipe his hands
Speaker 1: with me, and uh and no reason to continue to
Speaker 1: continue our communication and continue to talk to me, but
Speaker 1: he did, and so I will always be grateful for
Speaker 1: him for that. And uh, you know he was. He
Speaker 1: was one of the people who were very instrumental, um,
Speaker 1: you know, and help me get back into the league
Speaker 1: and talking me, talking to me throughout that whole process,
Speaker 1: even when I was suspended. Appreciate your time. I appreciate
Speaker 1: you taking the time to to really tell your story,
Speaker 1: you know, to tell you why and what you've experienced,
Speaker 1: what you're going through, how you've ever overcoming man and
Speaker 1: we don't take that information and and the message and
Speaker 1: your transparency lightly. So thank you, brother, appreciation anytime. Thanks
Speaker 1: having me. You are a unique person. You are well
Speaker 1: worth it. You are competent and most of all, your lovable.
Speaker 1: I'm Steve Smith Singer. I'm Gerard Little John and this
Speaker 1: is cut to It. Cut to It with Steve Smith
Speaker 1: singor That Is Me is a production of Cut to
Speaker 1: It LLC, Baltol Creative Media, The Black Effect and I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio. For more podcast from I Heart Radio, visit
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Speaker 1: producer Steve Smith, singer co host Gerard little John. Talent
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Speaker 1: It is produced by Brian Balta Chevic and Meredith Carter,
Speaker 1: with production assistance by Alex Lebrec Production coordinator Taylor Robinson.
Speaker 1: Theme music by Alex Johnson, lyrics and vocals by Anthony Hamilton.
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