WEBVTT - COULDN'T TRUMP'S DOCTORS INSTITUTIONALIZE HIM? - 10.22.26

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<v Speaker 1>Countdown with Keith Olbermann is a production of iHeartRadio. They're

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<v Speaker 1>not asking him the difference between a giraffe and a

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<v Speaker 1>snake because he's fine. They're asking him the difference between

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<v Speaker 1>a giraffe and a snake because they suspect he cannot

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<v Speaker 1>tell the difference between a giraffe and a snake. Food

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<v Speaker 1>for everyone. Food for everyone. Trump has gone back to

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<v Speaker 1>bringing up these effing dementia tests every few minutes, it seems,

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<v Speaker 1>certainly once per rally on his tour. not understanding that

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<v Speaker 1>they are effing dementia tests, bringing it up constantly, presumably

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<v Speaker 1>because this crowd of doctors that he travels with, that

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<v Speaker 1>he boasts about, who would let you die because they're

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<v Speaker 1>not allowed to leave his side, they see signs in

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<v Speaker 1>private that we do not see in public that he

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<v Speaker 1>has dementia or something like it, or is perhaps more

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<v Speaker 1>colloquially effing crazy. If they keep giving him these tests,

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<v Speaker 1>and judging by how often Trump brings them up, my

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<v Speaker 1>estimate is they must give him one of these tests

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<v Speaker 1>after every meal. Can't they do something about him? Aren't

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<v Speaker 1>they doctors with the power to do something about him?

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<v Speaker 1>Can't they institutionalize him? Can't they put him on a

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<v Speaker 1>temporary mental hold? He is crazy or failing that, and

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<v Speaker 1>I understand the odds against doing that. failing that, can't

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<v Speaker 1>one of them, one of them risk everything for the

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<v Speaker 1>sake of the nation and, you know, the world? Just one.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, Trump is crazy. That's not breaking news. It

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<v Speaker 1>has not been breaking news since 2016. Ed Rollins confirmed

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<v Speaker 1>it for me on a news set in 2016, and

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<v Speaker 1>he didn't mean in a colloquial or ha-ha way. He said,

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<v Speaker 1>you're right, Trump is crazy crazy. But, quote, the first

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<v Speaker 1>one is they show you a lion, a bear, a snake,

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<v Speaker 1>and a giraffe, and they say, which one is the giraffe?

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<v Speaker 1>I got a perfect score. Holy crap, he sounds like

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<v Speaker 1>a toddler boasting about his first success on a potty chair.

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<v Speaker 1>A perfect score. He can tell the difference between a

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<v Speaker 1>giraffe and a snake. It's a Robert Klein joke from 1975.

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<v Speaker 1>The kind of test Robert Klein said he liked was

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<v Speaker 1>multiple choice. You got an elephant and a mouse. Which

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<v Speaker 1>is bigger? A. He can tell the difference between a

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<v Speaker 1>giraffe and a snake, but he can't tell the difference

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<v Speaker 1>between a giraffe and a Putin. Russia, frankly, has been

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<v Speaker 1>fine on Ukraine. They haven't been doing much. He's crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>He's now openly bribing not just voters to vote his way,

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<v Speaker 1>violating federal law each time he does that. He's bribing

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<v Speaker 1>voters in a specific state to vote one way, thus

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<v Speaker 1>also violating state law every time he does that. He's

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<v Speaker 1>also backing the Hitler of our time over the Poland

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<v Speaker 1>of our time. He is boasting that his doctors keep

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<v Speaker 1>testing his brain constantly. to be uncouth for signs that

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<v Speaker 1>his brain doesn't work anymore. Doesn't work at all. That

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<v Speaker 1>he is already at the stage or nearing it where

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<v Speaker 1>he cannot tell the difference between a giraffe and a

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<v Speaker 1>snake is the only reason they give him a test

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<v Speaker 1>in which he's asked to tell the difference between a

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<v Speaker 1>giraffe and a snake. They don't ask you this as

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<v Speaker 1>some sort of random survey nor IQ test. Why can't

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<v Speaker 1>they commit him? Why can't they institutionalize him? He is,

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<v Speaker 1>after all, manifestly crazy and a danger to those around

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<v Speaker 1>him and perhaps to himself. I mean, if he starts

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<v Speaker 1>atomic war tomorrow, he presumably would be one of the casualties.

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<v Speaker 1>That's a danger to yourself. You only need two doctors

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<v Speaker 1>to put the guy on hold for 48 hours. He

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<v Speaker 1>claims he's got more doctors than general hospitals. Certainly there

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<v Speaker 1>are two who recognize what's actually going on here. They

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<v Speaker 1>follow him around like his sycophants on the golf courses.

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<v Speaker 1>There's got to be his hallucinations guy, his electroshock guy,

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<v Speaker 1>his lobotomy guy, his team Rorschach test, the gal with

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<v Speaker 1>the trepanning tools for him, his drool cup carrier. Damn,

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<v Speaker 1>there's got to be two of them ready to call

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<v Speaker 1>their straitjacket expert in. That'd be a triple XL straitjacket,

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<v Speaker 1>thank you. I know, I know, I know, I know.

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<v Speaker 1>The idea of getting one doctor from Team Trump is

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<v Speaker 1>really crazy to just throw it all to the wind,

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<v Speaker 1>to call a news conference, to tell the world the

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<v Speaker 1>truth that is still a billion to one shot, but

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<v Speaker 1>it's closer to happening than having two of those doctors

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<v Speaker 1>committing him. I mean, yes, Doc, you'd be ending your career,

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<v Speaker 1>but think of the rewards. Whichever of his doctors... will

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<v Speaker 1>confirm his insanity publicly. I'm a patriot. I love this country. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a patriot. I love this country. You will make millions.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll toss in a million. A million into the pot

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<v Speaker 1>right now for the first Trump doctor who tells the

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<v Speaker 1>truth about these tests. What the hell? And this note

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<v Speaker 1>for doctor who... Your monetization of your time with Donald

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<v Speaker 1>Trump could wind up being worth more to you than

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<v Speaker 1>Alina Haba's monetization of her time with Trump and the

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<v Speaker 1>reported $ 50 million involved in selling a pardon for Trump.

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<v Speaker 1>And by the way, I would bet that if this

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<v Speaker 1>really actually happened, if the doctor held a news conference,

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<v Speaker 1>this would be the most widely watched and rewatched news

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<v Speaker 1>conference in the history of the universe. Dr. Vinny Boombatz

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<v Speaker 1>would be an instant worldwide celebrity. I'd also bet he

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<v Speaker 1>could close this press conference off, having changed world history

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<v Speaker 1>in less than an hour, by saying, oh, by the way,

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<v Speaker 1>the stuff about him correctly identifying the giraffe, the SOB

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<v Speaker 1>is even lying about that. He got the giraffe wrong too, MFers.

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<v Speaker 1>I wrote a book about this nine years ago Now,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't hawk it. I'm just showing it up as

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<v Speaker 1>evidence in case you didn't know. It is not much

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<v Speaker 1>of a book. I wrote it for a reason, and

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<v Speaker 1>I wrote it the way I wrote it for a reason.

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<v Speaker 1>It underwrote the resistance videos, which I basically did for charity,

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<v Speaker 1>and it put on the record... The fact that somebody

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<v Speaker 1>had to say all that in 2017, that Trump is

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<v Speaker 1>effing crazy and this is not some kind of joke.

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<v Speaker 1>The book is essentially 350 pages of transcripts of those

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<v Speaker 1>commentaries that I did in 2016 and 2017 because I

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<v Speaker 1>knew someday it would happen, that the world would accept

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<v Speaker 1>the reality that Trump was crazy. It would happen one

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<v Speaker 1>way or the other, commitment or not. he'd start speaking

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<v Speaker 1>in tongues live on TV, or a doctor would go

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<v Speaker 1>forth and spread beauty and light and tell the truth.

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<v Speaker 1>And I wanted it documented that we all knew it

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<v Speaker 1>in 2016, and nobody but me was willing to put

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<v Speaker 1>their name on it. I wanted it preserved for the

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<v Speaker 1>record that he didn't go bad at some point, that

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<v Speaker 1>he didn't deteriorate, that he wasn't better back in the

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<v Speaker 1>old days, and perhaps it was age and that, no,

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<v Speaker 1>we started where we ended with him. And I wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to make sure people understood that it was not not

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<v Speaker 1>obvious in 2016, that we all knew in 2016 that

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<v Speaker 1>Trump is effing crazy. This is not a book as

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<v Speaker 1>much as it is an artifact. an artifact that would

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<v Speaker 1>cost you $ 6. 19 on Amazon. I don't think I'd get

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<v Speaker 1>any money out of that. But as low as $ 3. 96

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<v Speaker 1>on eBay, free shipping, and I know I don't get

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<v Speaker 1>any of that money. I would hold out, though, until

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<v Speaker 1>this gets down to a dollar. As I said, it's

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<v Speaker 1>not a great book, but it's 100% correct. And it's

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<v Speaker 1>an artifact. It just genuinely surprised me then, as it

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<v Speaker 1>genuinely surprises me still, that whoever these doctors are who

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<v Speaker 1>gave him these cognitive tests every, let's see, what time

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<v Speaker 1>is it now? I started about eight minutes ago. He's

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<v Speaker 1>due for another one. That not one of them is

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<v Speaker 1>willing to trade a life that must be a living

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<v Speaker 1>hell of guilt and responsibility for the immediate and eternal

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<v Speaker 1>gratitude of a world that would respond in this trade

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<v Speaker 1>A world that has been standing in front of a

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<v Speaker 1>psychopath holding a knife against its throat since 2016. A

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<v Speaker 1>world that has been saying, doesn't anybody else see that

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<v Speaker 1>Trump is a psychopath and he's holding a knife? The

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<v Speaker 1>doctor who trades the life of traveling around with a

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<v Speaker 1>psychopath who he can't tell anybody else, he's a psychopath.

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<v Speaker 1>trades that life for a life in which he announces

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<v Speaker 1>it to the world, becomes eternally, immortally famous and rich.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't understand why somebody doesn't make that trade. What

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<v Speaker 1>is your training for? What are your oaths about? Confidentiality?

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<v Speaker 1>Making some more money later? You can make more money now!

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<v Speaker 1>Even if that's your only motivation, other than, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>saving the world. I would think saving the world would

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<v Speaker 1>be high on a doctor's list of priorities, but what

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<v Speaker 1>do I know? I only know my own doctors, and

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<v Speaker 1>I think they would all do this. Doctor Who, I

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<v Speaker 1>am not actually asking you to institutionalize him. I understand

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<v Speaker 1>that would be difficult. I understand nobody's tried that since

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<v Speaker 1>King George III in 1788. The paperwork alone would be

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<v Speaker 1>a J.D. Vance. But just go public. Spill the beans.

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<v Speaker 1>Tell the truth as the cliche goes. Let's talk about

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<v Speaker 1>the elephant in the room. Or in this case... The giraffe.

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<v Speaker 1>While we wait for the doctor to tell the truth

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<v Speaker 1>about Trump, it's too early to get any reaction in

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<v Speaker 1>terms of detrumpification from the suddenly shocked to discover there

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<v Speaker 1>is gambling going on here, right-wing media. to the latest development,

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<v Speaker 1>which would be Trump whore envoy Steve Witkoff calling Putin

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<v Speaker 1>a humanitarian to Putin's face. And by the way, live

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<v Speaker 1>on Russian state television, most of American media has left

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<v Speaker 1>that small detail out of the equation. That was yesterday,

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<v Speaker 1>so we have not seen, obviously, the Thursday papers yet,

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<v Speaker 1>but the entire Ukraine picture continues to get slammed by

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<v Speaker 1>the Wall Street Journal editorial board? To Russia with love,

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<v Speaker 1>signed Donald. Trump waives sanctions and tariffs under the Lindsey

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<v Speaker 1>Graham law. Trump's assistance to Vladimir Putin keeps growing by

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<v Speaker 1>the day, and in the latest example, he stuck a

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<v Speaker 1>shiv in the back of the legacy of the late

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<v Speaker 1>Senator Lindsey Graham. Mr. Trump offered no explanation beyond a

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<v Speaker 1>statement that the issuance of such a waiver at this

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<v Speaker 1>time is in the national interests of the United States,

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<v Speaker 1>the editorial board writes. The opposite is true, and Mr.

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<v Speaker 1>Trump is now... Mr. Putin's best friend in the world

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<v Speaker 1>after perhaps China. When the election is over, there needs

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<v Speaker 1>to be a bipartisan reckoning for Mr. Trump's budding alliance

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<v Speaker 1>with the Kremlin against Ukraine, Europe, and American interests. The

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<v Speaker 1>Wall Street Journal editorial board. Not me. I would have

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<v Speaker 1>written it a little bit less stridently. All right? Murdoch

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<v Speaker 1>periodically needs to make himself look human. Maybe that explains this.

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<v Speaker 1>I would suggest turning to the pages of the Washington

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<v Speaker 1>Examiner that's never had any concern about looking human. Trump

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<v Speaker 1>sold out Ukraine for a bad diesel deal. Every ally

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<v Speaker 1>is watching. Quote, Ukraine has attacked a number of Russian

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<v Speaker 1>refineries in an effort to put economic pressure on Putin.

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<v Speaker 1>Trump apparently believes that these attacks have contributed to the

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<v Speaker 1>diesel shortage and thus have played a part in raising prices. Trump, however,

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<v Speaker 1>is wrong about this, writes the Washington Examiner. Diesel prices

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<v Speaker 1>have risen mainly because of the dramatic reduction in the

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<v Speaker 1>amount of oil that has been shipped from the Middle

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<v Speaker 1>East since the war began. A chart prepared by the

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<v Speaker 1>Institute for the Study of War shows that U.S. diesel

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<v Speaker 1>prices rose dramatically when the war started, declined when it

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<v Speaker 1>appeared Trump would make a deal to reopen the Strait

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<v Speaker 1>of Hormuz. and rose even more sharply after that effort collapsed.

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<v Speaker 1>Ukrainian attacks on Russian oil refineries, writes the Washington Bloody Examiner,

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<v Speaker 1>had at most a marginal effect on those movements. In

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<v Speaker 1>right-wing media, this is the equivalent of the doctor going

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<v Speaker 1>public about how crazy Trump actually is. To resume, his

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<v Speaker 1>betrayal of Ukraine then will have almost no effect on

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<v Speaker 1>the midterm elections. Quote, it nonetheless has an important impact elsewhere.

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<v Speaker 1>It reinforces the growing notion that America's word means nothing.

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<v Speaker 1>The New York Times has not said this about Donald Trump.

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<v Speaker 1>A GOP moderate... That's in quotes. Running in the Colorado Third,

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<v Speaker 1>Jeff Heard, I disagree with the administration's decision to waive

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<v Speaker 1>new sanctions Congress passed to increase economic pressure on Russia.

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<v Speaker 1>He'll be beaten severely for daring to disagree with Trump.

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<v Speaker 1>Putin started this war. Russia continues its brutal attacks on

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<v Speaker 1>Ukrainian civilians. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I hope the

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<v Speaker 1>administration reconsiders. For a Republican member of Congress who is

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<v Speaker 1>not retiring, this is a declaration of war on Trump.

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<v Speaker 1>The German Friedrich Merz. My biggest concern is the underestimated

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<v Speaker 1>Russian impact on our societies. Russia is on the way

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<v Speaker 1>to destabilize the entire political order of our European continent.

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<v Speaker 1>And this is obviously underestimated. You think? As to the

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<v Speaker 1>Starlink slowdown and the betrayal of Ukraine and the other

0:15:08.165 --> 0:15:11.605
<v Speaker 1>attempts to sabotage Ukraine's domestic air defense and to kill

0:15:11.665 --> 0:15:15.595
<v Speaker 1>more Ukrainian infants. One set of sources says Trump did

0:15:15.635 --> 0:15:18.395
<v Speaker 1>this directly. Another tells the Wall Street Journal it was

0:15:18.495 --> 0:15:21.375
<v Speaker 1>Musk who did it directly. To quote Churchill, it really

0:15:21.415 --> 0:15:24.095
<v Speaker 1>doesn't matter who was the organ grinder and who was

0:15:24.155 --> 0:15:29.055
<v Speaker 1>the monkey. One explanation seems intuitively to me to make

0:15:29.125 --> 0:15:32.965
<v Speaker 1>even more sense than either of those. Yes, Musk issued

0:15:33.005 --> 0:15:36.445
<v Speaker 1>the order to bring down the military version of Starlink,

0:15:36.965 --> 0:15:41.415
<v Speaker 1>but Trump ordered Musk to do that. And remember... If

0:15:41.475 --> 0:15:44.985
<v Speaker 1>Musk or Trump can turn off missile defense information systems

0:15:45.365 --> 0:15:48.775
<v Speaker 1>in Ukraine, Musk or Trump can turn them off here

0:15:48.835 --> 0:15:55.405
<v Speaker 1>in the U.S. Another candidate, meanwhile, tried to de-Trumpify, tried

0:15:55.425 --> 0:15:59.945
<v Speaker 1>a little bit too hard. Twitter Autumn noted this. Eric Pratt,

0:15:59.965 --> 0:16:04.175
<v Speaker 1>Republican running for Angie Craig's open seat in the Minnesota Second,

0:16:04.535 --> 0:16:08.775
<v Speaker 1>left the AI restating his prompt on his website. So

0:16:08.975 --> 0:16:16.425
<v Speaker 1>the Pratt playbook here... reads pratt playbook affordability accountability safe

0:16:16.465 --> 0:16:20.365
<v Speaker 1>community residents want everyday purchases to be affordable eric pratt

0:16:20.405 --> 0:16:23.135
<v Speaker 1>writes or the ai did bad actors to be held

0:16:23.175 --> 0:16:26.255
<v Speaker 1>accountable and their reps to lead with common sense the

0:16:26.295 --> 0:16:29.475
<v Speaker 1>president is not popular so all messaging should be focused

0:16:29.755 --> 0:16:33.915
<v Speaker 1>on local politics and needs try to remember when using

0:16:34.055 --> 0:16:39.355
<v Speaker 1>ai to take ai's fingerprints off of it Of course,

0:16:39.375 --> 0:16:42.175
<v Speaker 1>they are not all trying to de-Trumpify. Two years ago

0:16:42.215 --> 0:16:46.215
<v Speaker 1>at this time, it was when Ohio went crazy with J.V. Vance,

0:16:46.235 --> 0:16:50.095
<v Speaker 1>who is a Funko Pop in a suit, insisted that

0:16:50.175 --> 0:16:54.675
<v Speaker 1>the Haitians in Columbus, Ohio, were eating the cats and dogs,

0:16:54.755 --> 0:16:58.295
<v Speaker 1>and then Trump picked that up, eating the cats, as

0:16:58.395 --> 0:17:05.665
<v Speaker 1>if J.D. Vance knew anything about eating cats. Think about it. Well,

0:17:05.715 --> 0:17:09.325
<v Speaker 1>JV is back defending their Vivek Ramaswamy attack ad against

0:17:09.405 --> 0:17:12.165
<v Speaker 1>Amy Acton, in which Vivek Ramaswamy came out on the

0:17:12.205 --> 0:17:16.685
<v Speaker 1>side of stepfathers raping their 12-year-old stepdaughters and on the

0:17:16.705 --> 0:17:20.145
<v Speaker 1>side of their mothers siding with the stepfather. That's the

0:17:20.225 --> 0:17:23.435
<v Speaker 1>Amy Acton story that Vivek Ramaswamy has brought up by

0:17:23.565 --> 0:17:29.875
<v Speaker 1>entering into this equation Amy Acton's deadbeat, reprehensible, going-to-hell mother.

0:17:31.705 --> 0:17:35.295
<v Speaker 1>Vance is very concerned about this advertisement, about the fact

0:17:35.315 --> 0:17:37.655
<v Speaker 1>that anybody has had the nerve to criticize it, that is.

0:17:37.715 --> 0:17:40.255
<v Speaker 1>Quoting Vance, well, I'll be honest with you, whether the

0:17:40.315 --> 0:17:42.355
<v Speaker 1>ad was appropriate or not is not really my concern.

0:17:42.595 --> 0:17:44.685
<v Speaker 1>My concern is who's going to govern. I have to

0:17:44.745 --> 0:17:47.925
<v Speaker 1>admit I'm a little bit disgusted when I see Republicans

0:17:47.945 --> 0:17:50.485
<v Speaker 1>who are whining more about that ad than they are

0:17:50.525 --> 0:17:55.025
<v Speaker 1>about what the Democrats want to do. J.D. Vance is garbage.

0:17:55.665 --> 0:17:59.905
<v Speaker 1>His reputation as a seducer of couches is the nicest

0:17:59.965 --> 0:18:02.645
<v Speaker 1>thing anybody has ever said about him relative to who

0:18:02.685 --> 0:18:06.595
<v Speaker 1>he really is. He is scum, vermin, slime, and I

0:18:06.635 --> 0:18:13.315
<v Speaker 1>apologize to scum, vermin, and slime. Meanwhile, Ramaswamy is worse.

0:18:14.515 --> 0:18:17.245
<v Speaker 1>Ramaswamy had almost slid off the screen. It's hard to

0:18:17.285 --> 0:18:21.555
<v Speaker 1>remember he is running for office in Ohio. Then he

0:18:21.615 --> 0:18:25.255
<v Speaker 1>said something like this. And when we face our founding

0:18:25.315 --> 0:18:30.475
<v Speaker 1>fathers in the afterlife and they ask us, what sacrifice

0:18:30.555 --> 0:18:34.795
<v Speaker 1>did you make for your country? We better have a

0:18:34.815 --> 0:18:37.955
<v Speaker 1>damn good answer for them and we will. So you're

0:18:37.975 --> 0:18:41.015
<v Speaker 1>going to meet the founding fathers in the afterlife and

0:18:41.075 --> 0:18:44.285
<v Speaker 1>have to talk to them, Vivek? You expect the founding

0:18:44.345 --> 0:18:47.195
<v Speaker 1>fathers like George Washington and Ben Franklin to be in

0:18:47.255 --> 0:19:01.135
<v Speaker 1>hell with you, Vivek? Also of interest here, the midterms

0:19:01.295 --> 0:19:05.055
<v Speaker 1>and the early forecast has now changed to a Democratic

0:19:05.095 --> 0:19:09.445
<v Speaker 1>generic lead in the House of double digits. And if

0:19:09.505 --> 0:19:12.425
<v Speaker 1>you can imagine the idea of dinner at the White

0:19:12.465 --> 0:19:18.645
<v Speaker 1>House with Trump and Stephen A. Smith and Bill Maher,

0:19:19.205 --> 0:19:22.465
<v Speaker 1>you will understand that Kid Rock was there to give

0:19:22.505 --> 0:19:27.715
<v Speaker 1>it a slight intellectual improvement. That's next. This is Countdown.

0:19:29.505 --> 0:19:37.125
<v Speaker 1>This is Countdown with Keith Olbermann. For the big finish,

0:19:37.165 --> 0:19:39.645
<v Speaker 1>let's look at what the actual impact on the ground,

0:19:40.205 --> 0:19:43.485
<v Speaker 1>what the predictions about the midterms are, something curious about

0:19:43.505 --> 0:19:47.745
<v Speaker 1>these midterms from Axios. This is not about Trump bribing

0:19:47.805 --> 0:19:52.225
<v Speaker 1>farmers or Trump bribing Kansans or Trump bribing poisoned servicemen,

0:19:52.305 --> 0:19:53.905
<v Speaker 1>all of which he has done in the last few days.

0:19:54.245 --> 0:19:57.665
<v Speaker 1>This is from Axios. Quote, Trump threatened Wednesday to fire

0:19:57.745 --> 0:20:00.365
<v Speaker 1>two of his top political consultants if he finds a

0:20:00.495 --> 0:20:05.095
<v Speaker 1>conflict after reports that they had advised a Russia-aligned government

0:20:05.415 --> 0:20:10.175
<v Speaker 1>ahead of local elections there. That's there is Bosnia Herzegovina.

0:20:10.855 --> 0:20:15.235
<v Speaker 1>Why it matters, as Axios asks after every other paragraph,

0:20:15.295 --> 0:20:18.755
<v Speaker 1>because it writes for political audiences and political people who

0:20:18.815 --> 0:20:21.845
<v Speaker 1>really can't focus their attention for longer than two sentences.

0:20:22.125 --> 0:20:26.405
<v Speaker 1>Why it matters, Chris LaCivita and James Blair are leading Republicans'

0:20:26.565 --> 0:20:30.545
<v Speaker 1>midterm election strategy, putting their foreign consulting work in tension

0:20:30.765 --> 0:20:36.295
<v Speaker 1>with their prominent roles in transphobic... Wait. The issue here

0:20:36.375 --> 0:20:38.795
<v Speaker 1>is not the fact that there is a conflict of interest.

0:20:39.075 --> 0:20:42.025
<v Speaker 1>The Trump administration is built on conflicts of interest. That's

0:20:42.105 --> 0:20:45.385
<v Speaker 1>what it's there for. Or them making money on the side,

0:20:45.485 --> 0:20:49.005
<v Speaker 1>using their reputations, using their status connected to the U.S. government.

0:20:49.265 --> 0:20:51.505
<v Speaker 1>That's what it's there for. Or the fact that these

0:20:51.545 --> 0:20:54.625
<v Speaker 1>guys are probably stealing money from taxpayers, like everybody else

0:20:54.645 --> 0:21:00.425
<v Speaker 1>in this administration. That's what it's there for. The issue

0:21:00.465 --> 0:21:04.845
<v Speaker 1>here about Blair and this eternal sleaze la savita is...

0:21:05.455 --> 0:21:09.535
<v Speaker 1>Leading Republicans' midterm election strategy, but two weeks plus before

0:21:09.575 --> 0:21:14.975
<v Speaker 1>the midterms, they are in Bosnia? And Trump leaking that

0:21:15.015 --> 0:21:16.855
<v Speaker 1>he might fire them to make it look like he's

0:21:16.935 --> 0:21:20.325
<v Speaker 1>upset somehow, or he didn't know that they were in Bosnia?

0:21:20.645 --> 0:21:25.565
<v Speaker 1>Russian-aligned Bosnia? If only there were some way for Lasavita

0:21:25.625 --> 0:21:30.225
<v Speaker 1>and Blair to be working in Bosnia on our midterms.

0:21:31.625 --> 0:21:37.225
<v Speaker 1>Messing with the elections remotely? Really? Were the 2024 Russian-targeted

0:21:37.285 --> 0:21:40.965
<v Speaker 1>attacks on voting places in the South, were those just practice?

0:21:43.365 --> 0:21:49.235
<v Speaker 1>Is that why Blair and Lasavita are in Bosnia? Russian-aligned Bosnia?

0:21:50.835 --> 0:21:57.135
<v Speaker 1>Aligned with Putin the humanitarian, Mr. Witkoff? Nothing would surprise me. However,

0:21:57.235 --> 0:22:01.545
<v Speaker 1>if the elections are conducted fairly, or even 50% fairly,

0:22:01.805 --> 0:22:07.565
<v Speaker 1>the Republicans are going to drown. Metaphorically speaking, Vivek Ramaswamy

0:22:07.605 --> 0:22:12.215
<v Speaker 1>may meet the afterlife much sooner than he's anticipating. Elliott

0:22:12.235 --> 0:22:18.315
<v Speaker 1>Morris at numbers, Verisite and 50 plus one and strengthen numbers.

0:22:18.815 --> 0:22:23.375
<v Speaker 1>The Democratic margin for all House races in the polling

0:22:23.475 --> 0:22:28.955
<v Speaker 1>alone is now 10.4. Democrats, the generic Democrats leads the

0:22:29.115 --> 0:22:32.695
<v Speaker 1>generic Republicans. and there are no generic Republicans, they're all

0:22:32.755 --> 0:22:38.825
<v Speaker 1>con men, by 10.4 points. It's in double digits. To quote,

0:22:39.565 --> 0:22:42.425
<v Speaker 1>among registered voters, 52% said they would vote for the

0:22:42.465 --> 0:22:45.065
<v Speaker 1>Democratic candidate for the House in their district, and 41%

0:22:45.065 --> 0:22:49.545
<v Speaker 1>for the Republicans. That is a margin of 10.4. The edges,

0:22:49.645 --> 0:22:51.895
<v Speaker 1>or that edge has passed our previous high of 10.1

0:22:51.895 --> 0:22:57.215
<v Speaker 1>in February. Among likely voters, Democrats lead 54 to 42,

0:22:57.215 --> 0:23:01.335
<v Speaker 1>a 12-point margin, also a high for this series. I

0:23:01.375 --> 0:23:05.655
<v Speaker 1>like this series. I'll stream this series. The Republican Party's 41%

0:23:05.655 --> 0:23:08.975
<v Speaker 1>among registered voters is the lowest share it has ever

0:23:09.035 --> 0:23:12.345
<v Speaker 1>received in our poll. What about the Senate and G.

0:23:12.405 --> 0:23:15.585
<v Speaker 1>Eliot Morris? What types of election results are possible for

0:23:15.625 --> 0:23:19.045
<v Speaker 1>both parties given just a small normal polling error favoring

0:23:19.145 --> 0:23:24.665
<v Speaker 1>either party, he asks. In the 50plus1. com news forecast, a

0:23:24.755 --> 0:23:29.635
<v Speaker 1>normal miss in Republicans' favor leaves Democrats stuck at 50 seats,

0:23:29.995 --> 0:23:33.675
<v Speaker 1>and a miss in Democrats' favor puts 54 or more

0:23:33.775 --> 0:23:36.345
<v Speaker 1>on the table. He's saying that if the margin of

0:23:36.485 --> 0:23:41.065
<v Speaker 1>error falls entirely towards Democratic Senate votes... the Democrats will

0:23:41.105 --> 0:23:43.635
<v Speaker 1>have 54 or more seats in the Senate. But if

0:23:43.675 --> 0:23:46.715
<v Speaker 1>we use, he continues, just the polling average instead of

0:23:46.755 --> 0:23:50.535
<v Speaker 1>the full prediction model, and consider that at 18 days

0:23:50.595 --> 0:23:52.935
<v Speaker 1>when he did this, before the election, the polls could

0:23:52.955 --> 0:23:56.035
<v Speaker 1>still shift in either direction, the map expands even more.

0:23:56.375 --> 0:24:00.295
<v Speaker 1>A typical miss, 3.7 percentage points on average across the country,

0:24:00.335 --> 0:24:05.005
<v Speaker 1>plus individual state-level noise in either direction takes Democrats anywhere

0:24:05.325 --> 0:24:12.265
<v Speaker 1>from 47 to 56 seats. In averages at 50 plus one,

0:24:12.305 --> 0:24:15.265
<v Speaker 1>he reassures you, Democrats lead in enough races to give

0:24:15.285 --> 0:24:18.925
<v Speaker 1>them 54 seats in the Senate. If you shift it

0:24:18.925 --> 0:24:22.405
<v Speaker 1>3.7 towards the Republicans, it's 47 for the Democrats. If

0:24:22.425 --> 0:24:27.855
<v Speaker 1>you go 3.7 towards the Democrats, it's 56, including South

0:24:27.895 --> 0:24:34.675
<v Speaker 1>Carolina and Nebraska. So the predictions are still vague. It

0:24:34.715 --> 0:24:37.515
<v Speaker 1>is still a blue wave only in... Are we sure

0:24:37.555 --> 0:24:41.235
<v Speaker 1>that's a blue wave? but it's looking more likely every day,

0:24:41.295 --> 0:24:46.635
<v Speaker 1>and that perhaps is why Chris LaCivita is in Bosnia. Now,

0:24:46.655 --> 0:24:49.455
<v Speaker 1>a quick media roundup of the unwashed and the unloved.

0:24:49.475 --> 0:24:51.745
<v Speaker 1>The latest from CBS, this will double as the worst

0:24:51.795 --> 0:24:55.065
<v Speaker 1>persons in the world. Jan Crawford and Barry Weiss tying

0:24:55.105 --> 0:24:58.585
<v Speaker 1>at number three. Jan Crawford's tweet that thanked the son

0:24:58.665 --> 0:25:02.675
<v Speaker 1>of a paid Republican agitator says, this gotcha moment that

0:25:02.775 --> 0:25:08.205
<v Speaker 1>failed to gotcha El-Sayed in Michigan. Zetio's Justin Barragona, quote,

0:25:08.225 --> 0:25:11.475
<v Speaker 1>hearing from my sources that this over-the-top tweet is being

0:25:11.515 --> 0:25:14.545
<v Speaker 1>discussed internally at CBS. At the same time as those

0:25:14.585 --> 0:25:18.865
<v Speaker 1>same sources noted, Jan Crawford, the legal correspondent, still there

0:25:18.925 --> 0:25:21.805
<v Speaker 1>for CBS, not fired yet, even though she must be.

0:25:22.105 --> 0:25:24.905
<v Speaker 1>Jan is protected by Barry, also somebody who's going to

0:25:24.925 --> 0:25:26.645
<v Speaker 1>get fired at the end of this, and has been

0:25:26.685 --> 0:25:30.465
<v Speaker 1>a very vocal acolyte of Weiss. She just can't help herself,

0:25:30.585 --> 0:25:34.975
<v Speaker 1>one network insider said. From semaphore about this disaster at

0:25:35.015 --> 0:25:38.435
<v Speaker 1>CBS News, Weiss has been pushing her newsroom to pursue

0:25:38.595 --> 0:25:41.555
<v Speaker 1>numerous stories related to the Democratic Senate candidate in Michigan,

0:25:41.595 --> 0:25:45.635
<v Speaker 1>Abdul El-Sayed. and his purported familial links to the Muslim Brotherhood.

0:25:45.895 --> 0:25:49.955
<v Speaker 1>She has discussed the topic on editorial calls, tasked CBS News'

0:25:50.015 --> 0:25:53.595
<v Speaker 1>investigative unit with combing through Al-Sayed's background for a potential

0:25:53.655 --> 0:25:56.535
<v Speaker 1>link to the organization, and was directly involved in a

0:25:56.575 --> 0:26:01.025
<v Speaker 1>controversial story about his previous posts comparing the COVID-19 death

0:26:01.075 --> 0:26:04.185
<v Speaker 1>toll to 9-11. In short, Barry Weiss wants CBS News

0:26:04.445 --> 0:26:06.945
<v Speaker 1>to make up a story linking Al-Sayed to the Muslim

0:26:06.965 --> 0:26:11.665
<v Speaker 1>Brotherhood because Barry Weiss is a dishonest person running a

0:26:11.725 --> 0:26:14.985
<v Speaker 1>national news organization and should be drummed out of that immediately.

0:26:15.405 --> 0:26:18.925
<v Speaker 1>To again quote Semaphore, quote, Barry's ideas routinely come from

0:26:19.005 --> 0:26:24.145
<v Speaker 1>social media influencers. It's a compliment to call them Barry's ideas.

0:26:24.365 --> 0:26:27.765
<v Speaker 1>She's also an idiot. Barry's ideas routinely come from social

0:26:27.825 --> 0:26:31.225
<v Speaker 1>media influencers or from opposition research that's been placed in

0:26:31.245 --> 0:26:35.405
<v Speaker 1>conservative outlets. And these stories usually leave out important context

0:26:36.045 --> 0:26:40.025
<v Speaker 1>and facts. one CBS News staffer in New York told Semaphore.

0:26:40.285 --> 0:26:43.705
<v Speaker 1>She seems more suited to editing at publications like City Journal,

0:26:43.985 --> 0:26:46.945
<v Speaker 1>The Free Press, or The Free Beacon, which take a

0:26:47.005 --> 0:26:52.265
<v Speaker 1>clear side on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and match her views. Weiss,

0:26:52.385 --> 0:26:54.625
<v Speaker 1>it goes on, has taken a particularly hands-on approach to

0:26:54.645 --> 0:26:58.915
<v Speaker 1>the Michigan Senate race. which campaign rhetoric has revolved around

0:26:58.995 --> 0:27:01.895
<v Speaker 1>al-Sayed's Muslim faith and whether he can win over Jewish

0:27:01.955 --> 0:27:05.115
<v Speaker 1>voters in the state. The Hollywood Reporter reported last month

0:27:05.415 --> 0:27:08.925
<v Speaker 1>that Weiss faced criticism internally for overseeing an article that

0:27:09.025 --> 0:27:13.665
<v Speaker 1>critics say falsely insinuated Michigan's Democratic Senate candidate al-Sayed had

0:27:13.715 --> 0:27:17.865
<v Speaker 1>ties to the September 11th attacks. Some CBS News staff

0:27:18.225 --> 0:27:21.425
<v Speaker 1>have privately grumbled that Weiss is particularly focused on pursuing

0:27:21.465 --> 0:27:25.685
<v Speaker 1>theories about high-profile progressive candidates that bubble up on X

0:27:25.845 --> 0:27:29.865
<v Speaker 1>or in right-leaning news outlets. Weiss also tasked staff with

0:27:29.925 --> 0:27:33.845
<v Speaker 1>pursuing the theory that Democratic Texas Senate candidate James Tallarico

0:27:34.085 --> 0:27:37.225
<v Speaker 1>was in a mental health facility after he disappeared from

0:27:37.265 --> 0:27:40.185
<v Speaker 1>the campaign trail for over a week in October. He

0:27:40.265 --> 0:27:43.285
<v Speaker 1>was at home with the flu. Journalists from the New

0:27:43.305 --> 0:27:47.865
<v Speaker 1>York Times confirmed... citing images from Tallarico's home security cameras.

0:27:49.685 --> 0:27:52.585
<v Speaker 1>The head of CBS News. No matter what you think

0:27:52.625 --> 0:27:55.175
<v Speaker 1>of the Allisons or their promises to leave CNN alone,

0:27:55.435 --> 0:27:58.675
<v Speaker 1>they have destroyed CBS News, and essentially, your rule of

0:27:58.715 --> 0:28:00.515
<v Speaker 1>thumb if you don't have time to analyze what you

0:28:00.575 --> 0:28:03.115
<v Speaker 1>are seeing on CBS News is not to believe a

0:28:03.355 --> 0:28:07.795
<v Speaker 1>word it puts out. Not one word. Emphasize the BS,

0:28:08.135 --> 0:28:13.955
<v Speaker 1>and the C stands for conservative. Now, the winners of

0:28:14.035 --> 0:28:16.355
<v Speaker 1>our Worst Persons in the World, and to wrap up

0:28:16.395 --> 0:28:22.425
<v Speaker 1>the media segment, Bill Maher and Stephen A. Smith together again.

0:28:24.345 --> 0:28:26.865
<v Speaker 1>Trump once again praised the two of them after he

0:28:26.945 --> 0:28:32.885
<v Speaker 1>had dinner with them, suggesting that perhaps, in reality, Donald

0:28:32.935 --> 0:28:36.815
<v Speaker 1>Trump is already in hell. Dinner with Bill Maher and

0:28:36.915 --> 0:28:41.275
<v Speaker 1>Stephen A. Smith. I have broken bread with both these bastards.

0:28:42.115 --> 0:28:45.015
<v Speaker 1>Imagine the two of them together. Keep your fingers away

0:28:45.055 --> 0:28:48.395
<v Speaker 1>from both of their mouths. And by the way, your

0:28:48.475 --> 0:28:51.995
<v Speaker 1>referee for that dinner was Kid Rock to up the

0:28:52.055 --> 0:28:55.555
<v Speaker 1>intellectual level a little bit. And I mean that literally

0:28:55.595 --> 0:28:57.915
<v Speaker 1>for once. It was a great dinner. It was a

0:28:57.935 --> 0:29:01.835
<v Speaker 1>very informative dinner. Smart people. Stephen A is great. Bill Maher,

0:29:01.895 --> 0:29:03.915
<v Speaker 1>I will tell you what. He likes me a lot

0:29:03.975 --> 0:29:06.555
<v Speaker 1>more than people understand. And I actually like him. It

0:29:06.595 --> 0:29:09.965
<v Speaker 1>was a good dinner. No mention of what they ate,

0:29:10.025 --> 0:29:12.605
<v Speaker 1>just that Bill Maher actually, he likes me, he likes me.

0:29:13.345 --> 0:29:17.325
<v Speaker 1>Sally Field at her worst with nuclear weapons is president

0:29:17.435 --> 0:29:21.035
<v Speaker 1>of the United States. Trump told reporters at the dinner,

0:29:21.455 --> 0:29:24.155
<v Speaker 1>we talked about everything. It lasted a long time. And

0:29:24.215 --> 0:29:25.895
<v Speaker 1>even though they have to sort of put on a

0:29:25.995 --> 0:29:30.675
<v Speaker 1>certain facade for their people, they like Trump and I

0:29:30.775 --> 0:29:34.235
<v Speaker 1>actually like them. So not only did Trump convince himself

0:29:34.275 --> 0:29:37.945
<v Speaker 1>that these people idiots, Marr and Smith like him, but

0:29:37.965 --> 0:29:40.205
<v Speaker 1>he convinced them and convinced himself that every time they

0:29:40.245 --> 0:29:44.755
<v Speaker 1>say something bad, it's just to please their people. He

0:29:44.855 --> 0:29:47.365
<v Speaker 1>added that they took a tour of the ballroom, currently

0:29:47.445 --> 0:29:52.725
<v Speaker 1>under construction. You know, jackhammers and holes everywhere, and they

0:29:52.865 --> 0:29:59.235
<v Speaker 1>all got out untouched. What I do not understand about

0:29:59.295 --> 0:30:03.315
<v Speaker 1>this dinner... as a longtime observer of Bill Maher, and

0:30:03.355 --> 0:30:07.155
<v Speaker 1>we nearly had a fistfight in 1978, and of Stephen A. Smith,

0:30:07.725 --> 0:30:11.385
<v Speaker 1>who I have known... I believe I went on the

0:30:11.425 --> 0:30:15.825
<v Speaker 1>radio with him first in 2005 before ESPN fired him

0:30:15.885 --> 0:30:18.545
<v Speaker 1>and brought him back. What I do not understand about

0:30:18.585 --> 0:30:22.145
<v Speaker 1>this dinner is not why Marr went. He goes wherever

0:30:22.225 --> 0:30:26.105
<v Speaker 1>people will flatter him. And since that has been restricted

0:30:26.145 --> 0:30:28.895
<v Speaker 1>a lot in the last few years, he can't anymore

0:30:29.055 --> 0:30:32.435
<v Speaker 1>find flattery from sane people or smart people. He has

0:30:32.455 --> 0:30:34.055
<v Speaker 1>to go to the White House and talk to somebody

0:30:34.235 --> 0:30:37.815
<v Speaker 1>who is neither sane nor smart. Or a group of them. Trump,

0:30:38.055 --> 0:30:42.875
<v Speaker 1>Kid Rock, and Stephen A. Smith. Now, this is not

0:30:43.115 --> 0:30:50.635
<v Speaker 1>about Smith's relative popularity, which remains largely unaffected. He goes

0:30:50.675 --> 0:30:53.655
<v Speaker 1>wherever people don't think he's a useless blowhard who has

0:30:53.695 --> 0:30:57.275
<v Speaker 1>not actually broken a sports story nor given any insight

0:30:57.295 --> 0:31:00.265
<v Speaker 1>to a sports story or a news story for 20

0:31:00.265 --> 0:31:02.565
<v Speaker 1>years or more since he stopped being a reporter and

0:31:02.585 --> 0:31:06.355
<v Speaker 1>simply figured out how to kill time for ESPN. And

0:31:06.595 --> 0:31:09.065
<v Speaker 1>this isn't about Trump, what I don't understand. It's not

0:31:09.105 --> 0:31:13.345
<v Speaker 1>about Maher. It's not about Smith. Their business there is logical.

0:31:13.665 --> 0:31:15.305
<v Speaker 1>And it's not about Trump. He thinks Maher is some

0:31:15.345 --> 0:31:18.005
<v Speaker 1>kind of liberal or Democrat, and he's got a trophy

0:31:18.065 --> 0:31:23.475
<v Speaker 1>liberal there and has an audience, which Bill no longer has.

0:31:24.655 --> 0:31:27.655
<v Speaker 1>Bill is about even with Dennis Miller on the liberal

0:31:27.735 --> 0:31:36.045
<v Speaker 1>comedy scale. What I don't understand, with Bill Maher, Stephen A. Smith,

0:31:36.135 --> 0:31:40.065
<v Speaker 1>and Donald Trump all in the same room. How in

0:31:40.085 --> 0:31:43.095
<v Speaker 1>the hell was there enough oxygen left that they all

0:31:43.135 --> 0:31:53.025
<v Speaker 1>didn't pass out? To the number one story on the countdown,

0:31:53.165 --> 0:31:55.685
<v Speaker 1>and as always, it's a choice between things I promised

0:31:55.725 --> 0:31:58.975
<v Speaker 1>not to tell and something from Thurber, and you lucked out.

0:31:59.015 --> 0:32:02.255
<v Speaker 1>It's something from Thurber, reading from my trusty Library of

0:32:02.315 --> 0:32:05.735
<v Speaker 1>America edition of almost all of the highlights in the

0:32:05.795 --> 0:32:09.305
<v Speaker 1>Thurber canon, The Night the Bed Fell. The Night the

0:32:09.325 --> 0:32:13.285
<v Speaker 1>Bed Fell is the first chapter of My Life and

0:32:13.405 --> 0:32:16.665
<v Speaker 1>Hard Times. which is really the closest thing James Thurber

0:32:16.765 --> 0:32:21.195
<v Speaker 1>ever wrote to a full-fledged novel. It is essentially a

0:32:21.615 --> 0:32:27.405
<v Speaker 1>slight exaggeration or perhaps a gigantic betrayal of his own

0:32:27.525 --> 0:32:32.435
<v Speaker 1>childhood and his family in Columbus, Ohio. They debated this

0:32:32.535 --> 0:32:37.135
<v Speaker 1>point probably for 70% of the last century. There were

0:32:37.175 --> 0:32:40.135
<v Speaker 1>no conclusions drawn. Many of the things that they said

0:32:40.255 --> 0:32:44.155
<v Speaker 1>didn't happen were later proven by Thurber scholars to, in fact,

0:32:44.235 --> 0:32:47.785
<v Speaker 1>have happened. I think the best case here is to

0:32:47.895 --> 0:32:51.565
<v Speaker 1>enjoy it. I'm not sure, although many of the characters,

0:32:51.605 --> 0:32:55.175
<v Speaker 1>the relatives that he describes, do come off as kind of,

0:32:55.365 --> 0:33:00.195
<v Speaker 1>you know, nuts and There is such a respect for

0:33:00.255 --> 0:33:04.825
<v Speaker 1>their craziness and such an admiration for their overall intelligence

0:33:05.345 --> 0:33:08.245
<v Speaker 1>that I don't know that I would complain about it

0:33:08.305 --> 0:33:11.565
<v Speaker 1>were I in one of these stories. First off, everybody

0:33:11.625 --> 0:33:14.925
<v Speaker 1>that James Thurber wrote about will live forever, or certainly

0:33:15.005 --> 0:33:17.645
<v Speaker 1>as long as his works do. And we are into

0:33:17.865 --> 0:33:21.695
<v Speaker 1>our third Thurber century, after all. He was born in

0:33:21.715 --> 0:33:25.335
<v Speaker 1>the 19th. I can only hope he's going to outlast

0:33:25.395 --> 0:33:31.645
<v Speaker 1>us all. The Night the Bed Fell. I'll read by

0:33:31.725 --> 0:33:38.065
<v Speaker 1>James Thurber. I suppose that the high watermark of my

0:33:38.125 --> 0:33:41.695
<v Speaker 1>youth in Columbus, Ohio, was the night the bed fell

0:33:42.015 --> 0:33:46.995
<v Speaker 1>on my father. It makes a better recitation, unless, as

0:33:47.035 --> 0:33:48.935
<v Speaker 1>some friends of mine have said, one has heard it

0:33:48.995 --> 0:33:53.015
<v Speaker 1>five or six times, than it does a piece of writing,

0:33:53.455 --> 0:33:59.285
<v Speaker 1>for it is almost necessary to throw furniture around shake doors,

0:34:00.405 --> 0:34:04.525
<v Speaker 1>and bark like a dog to lend the proper atmosphere

0:34:04.645 --> 0:34:11.135
<v Speaker 1>and verisimilitude to what is admittedly a somewhat incredible tale. Still,

0:34:12.295 --> 0:34:17.875
<v Speaker 1>it did take place. It happened, then, that my father

0:34:17.935 --> 0:34:21.055
<v Speaker 1>had decided to sleep in the attic one night, to

0:34:21.095 --> 0:34:26.985
<v Speaker 1>be away where he could think. My mother opposed the

0:34:27.005 --> 0:34:30.345
<v Speaker 1>notion strongly because she said the old wooden bed up

0:34:30.385 --> 0:34:35.105
<v Speaker 1>there was unsafe. It was wobbly, and the heavy headboard

0:34:35.145 --> 0:34:37.845
<v Speaker 1>would crash down on father's head in case the bed

0:34:37.925 --> 0:34:43.095
<v Speaker 1>fell and kill him. There was no dissuading him, however,

0:34:43.235 --> 0:34:45.955
<v Speaker 1>and at a quarter past ten, he closed the attic

0:34:45.995 --> 0:34:48.815
<v Speaker 1>door behind him and went up the narrow, twisting stairs.

0:34:49.735 --> 0:34:55.185
<v Speaker 1>We later heard ominous creakings as he crawled into bed.

0:34:56.485 --> 0:35:00.065
<v Speaker 1>grandfather who usually slept in the attic bed when he

0:35:00.105 --> 0:35:05.105
<v Speaker 1>was with us had disappeared some days before on these

0:35:05.185 --> 0:35:08.255
<v Speaker 1>occasions he was usually gone six or eight days and

0:35:08.315 --> 0:35:12.415
<v Speaker 1>returned growling and out of temper with the news that

0:35:12.455 --> 0:35:17.395
<v Speaker 1>the federal union was run by a passel of blockheads

0:35:18.275 --> 0:35:20.475
<v Speaker 1>and that the army of the potomac didn't have any

0:35:20.515 --> 0:35:25.765
<v Speaker 1>more chance than a fiddler's bitch We had visiting us

0:35:25.825 --> 0:35:28.745
<v Speaker 1>at this time a nervous first cousin of mine named

0:35:28.825 --> 0:35:32.485
<v Speaker 1>Briggs Beale, who believed that he was likely to cease

0:35:32.585 --> 0:35:37.465
<v Speaker 1>breathing when he was asleep. It was his feeling that

0:35:37.505 --> 0:35:40.825
<v Speaker 1>if he were not awakened every hour during the night,

0:35:42.425 --> 0:35:46.785
<v Speaker 1>he might die of suffocation. He had been accustomed to

0:35:46.825 --> 0:35:49.585
<v Speaker 1>setting an alarm clock to ring at intervals until morning,

0:35:49.605 --> 0:35:54.215
<v Speaker 1>but I persuaded him to abandon this. He slept in

0:35:54.255 --> 0:35:56.115
<v Speaker 1>my room, and I told him that I was such

0:35:56.155 --> 0:35:58.935
<v Speaker 1>a light sleeper that if anybody quit breathing in the

0:35:58.995 --> 0:36:03.725
<v Speaker 1>same room with me, I would wake instantly. He tested

0:36:03.765 --> 0:36:08.805
<v Speaker 1>me the first night, which I suspected he would. By

0:36:08.885 --> 0:36:12.625
<v Speaker 1>holding his breath after my regular breathing had convinced him

0:36:13.125 --> 0:36:17.425
<v Speaker 1>I was asleep, I was not asleep. However, and I

0:36:17.525 --> 0:36:21.685
<v Speaker 1>called to him, this seemed to allay his fears a little.

0:36:22.765 --> 0:36:25.245
<v Speaker 1>But he took the precaution of putting a glass of

0:36:25.445 --> 0:36:29.445
<v Speaker 1>spirits of camphor on a little table at the head

0:36:29.465 --> 0:36:32.875
<v Speaker 1>of his bed. In case I didn't arouse him until

0:36:32.895 --> 0:36:35.575
<v Speaker 1>he was almost gone, he said he would sniff the camphor,

0:36:36.235 --> 0:36:41.915
<v Speaker 1>a powerful reviver. Briggs was not the only member of

0:36:41.955 --> 0:36:46.455
<v Speaker 1>his family who had his crotchets. Old Aunt Melissa Beale,

0:36:46.495 --> 0:36:49.075
<v Speaker 1>who could whistle like a man with two fingers in

0:36:49.115 --> 0:36:53.685
<v Speaker 1>her mouth. suffered under the premonition that she was destined

0:36:53.725 --> 0:36:56.515
<v Speaker 1>to die on South High Street because she had been

0:36:56.595 --> 0:37:00.475
<v Speaker 1>born on South High Street and married on South High Street.

0:37:01.535 --> 0:37:04.715
<v Speaker 1>Then there was Aunt Sarah Schoaf, who never went to

0:37:04.755 --> 0:37:07.035
<v Speaker 1>bed at night without the fear that a burglar was

0:37:07.055 --> 0:37:10.745
<v Speaker 1>going to get in and blow chloroform under her door

0:37:10.805 --> 0:37:16.035
<v Speaker 1>through a tube. To avert this calamity, for she was

0:37:16.085 --> 0:37:20.175
<v Speaker 1>in greater dread of anesthetics than of losing her household goods,

0:37:20.495 --> 0:37:23.875
<v Speaker 1>she always piled her money, silverware, and other valuables in

0:37:23.915 --> 0:37:27.905
<v Speaker 1>a neat stack just outside her bedroom, with a note reading,

0:37:28.425 --> 0:37:30.845
<v Speaker 1>This is all I have. Please take it and do

0:37:30.905 --> 0:37:33.885
<v Speaker 1>not use your chloroform, as this is all I have.

0:37:36.005 --> 0:37:39.075
<v Speaker 1>Aunt Gracie Shoaf also had a burglar phobia, but she

0:37:39.115 --> 0:37:43.835
<v Speaker 1>met it with more fortitude. She was confident that burglars

0:37:43.875 --> 0:37:46.375
<v Speaker 1>had been getting into her home every night for 40 years.

0:37:47.175 --> 0:37:50.815
<v Speaker 1>The fact that she never missed anything was to her

0:37:50.975 --> 0:37:56.185
<v Speaker 1>no proof to the contrary. She always claimed that she

0:37:56.345 --> 0:37:59.225
<v Speaker 1>scared them off before they could take anything by throwing

0:37:59.705 --> 0:38:03.365
<v Speaker 1>shoes down the hallway. When she went to bed, she

0:38:03.445 --> 0:38:07.045
<v Speaker 1>piled where she could get at them handily. All the

0:38:07.145 --> 0:38:11.445
<v Speaker 1>shoes there were about her house. Five minutes after she'd

0:38:11.485 --> 0:38:13.185
<v Speaker 1>turned off the light, she would sit up in bed

0:38:13.225 --> 0:38:18.685
<v Speaker 1>and say, Hark! Her husband, who had learned to ignore

0:38:18.705 --> 0:38:23.515
<v Speaker 1>the whole situation as long ago as 1903, would either

0:38:23.555 --> 0:38:27.045
<v Speaker 1>be sound asleep or pretend to be sound asleep. In

0:38:27.085 --> 0:38:30.765
<v Speaker 1>either case, he would not respond to her tugging and pulling,

0:38:31.245 --> 0:38:34.705
<v Speaker 1>so that presently she would rise, tiptoe to the door,

0:38:35.165 --> 0:38:39.435
<v Speaker 1>open it slightly, and heave a shoe down the hall

0:38:39.515 --> 0:38:43.175
<v Speaker 1>in one direction, and its mate down the hall in

0:38:43.215 --> 0:38:47.595
<v Speaker 1>the other direction. Some nights she threw them all, some

0:38:47.655 --> 0:38:53.075
<v Speaker 1>nights only a couple of pair. If you're watching, here

0:38:53.155 --> 0:39:02.625
<v Speaker 1>is the aunt throwing the shoes. Hark! But I am

0:39:02.705 --> 0:39:05.665
<v Speaker 1>straying from the remarkable incidents that took place during the

0:39:05.725 --> 0:39:10.915
<v Speaker 1>night the bed fell on Father. By midnight, we were

0:39:11.135 --> 0:39:14.955
<v Speaker 1>all in bed. The layout of the rooms and the

0:39:14.995 --> 0:39:18.395
<v Speaker 1>disposition of their occupants is important to an understanding of

0:39:18.435 --> 0:39:24.315
<v Speaker 1>what later occurred in the front room upstairs, just under

0:39:24.375 --> 0:39:29.625
<v Speaker 1>Father's attic bedroom. were my mother and my brother Herman,

0:39:30.645 --> 0:39:35.195
<v Speaker 1>who sometimes sang in his sleep, usually marching through Georgia

0:39:35.615 --> 0:39:41.595
<v Speaker 1>or onward Christian soldiers. Brigsbill and myself were in a

0:39:41.655 --> 0:39:44.535
<v Speaker 1>room adjoining this one. My brother Roy was in a

0:39:44.575 --> 0:39:48.295
<v Speaker 1>room across the hall from ours. Our bull terrier Rex

0:39:48.475 --> 0:39:52.625
<v Speaker 1>slept in the hall. My bed was an army cot,

0:39:52.705 --> 0:39:54.945
<v Speaker 1>one of those affairs which are made wide enough to

0:39:54.985 --> 0:39:58.185
<v Speaker 1>sleep on comfortably only by putting up, flat with the

0:39:58.225 --> 0:40:01.455
<v Speaker 1>middle section, the two sides which ordinarily hang down like

0:40:01.475 --> 0:40:05.575
<v Speaker 1>the sideboards of a drop-leaf table. When those sides are up,

0:40:05.695 --> 0:40:08.135
<v Speaker 1>it is perilous to roll too far towards the edge,

0:40:08.395 --> 0:40:11.695
<v Speaker 1>for when the cot is then likely to tip completely over,

0:40:11.955 --> 0:40:14.415
<v Speaker 1>bringing the whole bed down on top of one with

0:40:14.455 --> 0:40:20.225
<v Speaker 1>a tremendous banging crash. This, in fact, is precisely what

0:40:20.305 --> 0:40:24.585
<v Speaker 1>happened about two o'clock in the morning. It was my

0:40:24.645 --> 0:40:28.045
<v Speaker 1>mother who, in recalling the scene later, first referred to

0:40:28.105 --> 0:40:31.995
<v Speaker 1>it as the night the bed fell on your father.

0:40:34.435 --> 0:40:38.895
<v Speaker 1>Always a deep sleeper, slow to arouse, I had lied

0:40:38.975 --> 0:40:42.705
<v Speaker 1>to Briggs. I was at first unconscious of what had

0:40:42.745 --> 0:40:45.745
<v Speaker 1>happened when the iron cot rolled me onto the floor

0:40:45.785 --> 0:40:49.315
<v Speaker 1>and toppled over on me. It left me still warmly

0:40:49.455 --> 0:40:52.075
<v Speaker 1>bundled up and unhurt, for the bed rested above me

0:40:52.115 --> 0:40:56.915
<v Speaker 1>like a canopy. Hence, I did not wake up, only

0:40:56.975 --> 0:41:01.615
<v Speaker 1>reached the edge of consciousness and went back. The racket, however,

0:41:01.775 --> 0:41:04.615
<v Speaker 1>instantly awakened my mother in the next room, who came

0:41:04.655 --> 0:41:08.075
<v Speaker 1>to the immediate conclusion that her worst dread was realized.

0:41:08.395 --> 0:41:13.445
<v Speaker 1>The big wooden bed upstairs had fallen on father. She

0:41:13.465 --> 0:41:18.995
<v Speaker 1>therefore screamed,' Let' s go to your poor father!' It was

0:41:19.065 --> 0:41:21.945
<v Speaker 1>this shout, rather than the noise of my cot falling,

0:41:21.985 --> 0:41:24.985
<v Speaker 1>that awakened Herman in the same room with her. He

0:41:25.025 --> 0:41:28.105
<v Speaker 1>thought that Mother had become, for no apparent reason, hysterical.'

0:41:27.785 --> 0:41:31.545
<v Speaker 1>You' re all right, Mama!' he shouted, trying to calm her.

0:41:32.345 --> 0:41:37.085
<v Speaker 1>They exchanged shout for shout for perhaps ten seconds.' Let' s

0:41:36.525 --> 0:41:40.865
<v Speaker 1>go to your poor father, and you're all right!' That

0:41:41.505 --> 0:41:45.855
<v Speaker 1>woke up Briggs. By this time, I was conscious of

0:41:45.915 --> 0:41:48.095
<v Speaker 1>what was going on in a vague way, but did

0:41:48.135 --> 0:41:52.095
<v Speaker 1>not yet realize that I was under my bed instead

0:41:52.135 --> 0:41:56.755
<v Speaker 1>of on it. Briggs, awakening in the middle of loud

0:41:56.855 --> 0:41:59.425
<v Speaker 1>shouts of fear and apprehension, came to the quick conclusion

0:41:59.605 --> 0:42:03.145
<v Speaker 1>that he was suffocating, and that we were all trying

0:42:03.185 --> 0:42:09.765
<v Speaker 1>to bring him out with a low moan. He grasped

0:42:09.825 --> 0:42:12.025
<v Speaker 1>the glass of camphor at the head of his bed,

0:42:12.265 --> 0:42:18.725
<v Speaker 1>and instead of sniffing it, poured it over himself. And here, again,

0:42:18.765 --> 0:42:22.525
<v Speaker 1>if you're watching, is Briggs coming out of his stupor.

0:42:25.355 --> 0:42:32.635
<v Speaker 1>The room reeked of camphor. Choked Briggs like a drowning man,

0:42:32.875 --> 0:42:35.375
<v Speaker 1>for he had almost succeeded in stopping his breath under

0:42:35.415 --> 0:42:40.275
<v Speaker 1>the deluge of pungent spirits. He leaped out of bed

0:42:40.995 --> 0:42:43.605
<v Speaker 1>and groped toward the open window, but he came up

0:42:43.665 --> 0:42:47.645
<v Speaker 1>against one that was closed. With his hand, he beat

0:42:47.885 --> 0:42:51.765
<v Speaker 1>out the glass, and I could hear it crash and

0:42:51.825 --> 0:42:55.555
<v Speaker 1>tinkle on the alleyway below. It was at this juncture

0:42:56.295 --> 0:42:58.435
<v Speaker 1>that I, in trying to get up, had the uncanny

0:42:58.475 --> 0:43:04.735
<v Speaker 1>sensation of feeling my bed above me. Foggy with sleep,

0:43:04.915 --> 0:43:07.275
<v Speaker 1>I now suspected in my turn that the whole uproar

0:43:07.315 --> 0:43:10.315
<v Speaker 1>was being made in a frantic endeavor to extricate me

0:43:11.145 --> 0:43:14.685
<v Speaker 1>from what must be an unheard-of and perilous situation. Get

0:43:14.705 --> 0:43:18.505
<v Speaker 1>me out of this, I bawled. Get me out! I

0:43:18.545 --> 0:43:21.685
<v Speaker 1>think I had the nightmarish belief that I was entombed

0:43:22.205 --> 0:43:28.435
<v Speaker 1>in a mine. Gah! gasped Briggs, floundering in his camphor.

0:43:29.115 --> 0:43:32.255
<v Speaker 1>And by this time, my mother, still shouting, pursued by Herman,

0:43:32.455 --> 0:43:35.155
<v Speaker 1>still shouting, was trying to open up the door to

0:43:35.195 --> 0:43:36.875
<v Speaker 1>the attic in order to go up and get my

0:43:36.935 --> 0:43:43.915
<v Speaker 1>father's body out of the wreckage. The door was stuck, however,

0:43:43.975 --> 0:43:47.295
<v Speaker 1>and wouldn't yield. Her frantic pulls on it only added

0:43:47.315 --> 0:43:51.075
<v Speaker 1>to the general banging and confusion. Roy and the dog

0:43:51.115 --> 0:43:56.855
<v Speaker 1>were now up, the one shouting questions, the other barking. Father?

0:43:57.405 --> 0:44:01.605
<v Speaker 1>farthest away and soundest sleeper of all, had by this

0:44:01.645 --> 0:44:04.185
<v Speaker 1>time been awakened by the battering on the attic door,

0:44:04.965 --> 0:44:11.565
<v Speaker 1>he decided the house was on fire. I'm coming, I'm coming,

0:44:12.395 --> 0:44:15.515
<v Speaker 1>he wailed in a slow, sleepy voice. It took him

0:44:15.635 --> 0:44:20.835
<v Speaker 1>many minutes to regain full consciousness. My mother, still believing

0:44:20.875 --> 0:44:23.955
<v Speaker 1>he was caught under the bed, detected in his, quote,

0:44:24.135 --> 0:44:28.025
<v Speaker 1>I'm coming voice, the mournful, resigned note of one who

0:44:28.105 --> 0:44:33.745
<v Speaker 1>is preparing to meet his maker. He's dying, she shouted.

0:44:35.495 --> 0:44:40.175
<v Speaker 1>I'm all right, Briggs yelled to reassure her. I'm all right.

0:44:40.995 --> 0:44:43.235
<v Speaker 1>He still believed that it was his own closeness to

0:44:43.275 --> 0:44:47.215
<v Speaker 1>death that was worrying Mother. I found, at last, the

0:44:47.295 --> 0:44:50.895
<v Speaker 1>light switch in my room, unlocked the door, and Briggs

0:44:50.935 --> 0:44:53.835
<v Speaker 1>and I joined the others at the attic door. The dog...

0:44:54.055 --> 0:44:57.715
<v Speaker 1>who never did like Briggs, jumped for him, assuming that

0:44:57.755 --> 0:45:00.335
<v Speaker 1>he was the culprit in whatever was going on, and

0:45:00.415 --> 0:45:06.485
<v Speaker 1>Roy had to throw Rex and hold him. There he is,

0:45:06.545 --> 0:45:14.745
<v Speaker 1>throwing Rex and holding him. We could hear Father crawling

0:45:14.925 --> 0:45:18.935
<v Speaker 1>out of the bed upstairs. Roy pulled the attic door

0:45:19.055 --> 0:45:21.675
<v Speaker 1>open with a mighty jerk and father came down the stairs,

0:45:21.995 --> 0:45:26.605
<v Speaker 1>sleepy and irritable, but safe and sound. My mother began

0:45:26.665 --> 0:45:32.245
<v Speaker 1>to weep when she saw him. Rex began to howl.

0:45:33.905 --> 0:45:39.845
<v Speaker 1>What in the name of God is going on here?

0:45:40.975 --> 0:45:47.145
<v Speaker 1>Asked father. The situation was finally put together like a

0:45:47.245 --> 0:45:53.045
<v Speaker 1>giant jigsaw puzzle. Father caught a cold from prowling around

0:45:53.125 --> 0:45:56.205
<v Speaker 1>in his bare feet, but there were no other bad results.

0:45:57.705 --> 0:46:01.225
<v Speaker 1>I'm glad, said mother, who always looked on the bright

0:46:01.315 --> 0:46:19.395
<v Speaker 1>side of things, that your grandfather wasn't here. I've done

0:46:19.435 --> 0:46:21.865
<v Speaker 1>all the damage I can do here. Thank you for listening.

0:46:22.065 --> 0:46:25.605
<v Speaker 1>Our musical directors of Countdown are John Philip Chanel, keyboards

0:46:25.765 --> 0:46:30.345
<v Speaker 1>and orchestration, Brian Ray, guitars, bass and drums. Their work

0:46:30.385 --> 0:46:33.165
<v Speaker 1>is produced by TKO Brothers, who are John Philip Chanel,

0:46:33.205 --> 0:46:36.495
<v Speaker 1>Brian Ray and me. Nancy Faust, the best baseball stadium

0:46:36.535 --> 0:46:40.155
<v Speaker 1>organist ever, is responsible for the satirical and pithy musical comments.

0:46:40.735 --> 0:46:44.895
<v Speaker 1>The sports music is the old Olbermann Show theme from ESPN2,

0:46:45.195 --> 0:46:48.785
<v Speaker 1>written by Mitch Warren Davis, courtesy of ESPN Inc. Other

0:46:48.825 --> 0:46:51.625
<v Speaker 1>music arranged and performed by the group No Horns Allowed,

0:46:51.825 --> 0:46:55.565
<v Speaker 1>and my announcer today was my friend Kenny Mayne. Everything

0:46:55.625 --> 0:46:59.145
<v Speaker 1>else was, as always, my fault. It's countdown for today,

0:46:59.245 --> 0:47:04.965
<v Speaker 1>day 627 of America held hostage again. Exactly 822 days

0:47:05.045 --> 0:47:07.005
<v Speaker 1>until the scheduled end of his lame duck and lame

0:47:07.025 --> 0:47:11.145
<v Speaker 1>brained term, unless it ends early because one of Trump's

0:47:11.205 --> 0:47:15.705
<v Speaker 1>doctors listens to my plea and goes public about the

0:47:15.865 --> 0:47:21.045
<v Speaker 1>IQ tests that are actually sanity tests and becomes 21st

0:47:21.225 --> 0:47:26.625
<v Speaker 1>century psychology Jesus. If you're listening, remember you can see

0:47:26.645 --> 0:47:28.935
<v Speaker 1>the whole thing now on YouTube. If you're watching, remember

0:47:28.975 --> 0:47:32.035
<v Speaker 1>you can skip the video part and just listen wherever

0:47:32.075 --> 0:47:37.125
<v Speaker 1>you podcast. Like and subscribe. The next scheduled countdown is Monday.

0:47:37.265 --> 0:47:40.605
<v Speaker 1>Probably management reserves the right to get another heart procedure instead.

0:47:41.255 --> 0:47:43.675
<v Speaker 1>Bulletin says the news merits. Until the next one, I'm

0:47:43.695 --> 0:47:47.515
<v Speaker 1>Keith Olbermann. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck.

0:48:09.025 --> 0:48:13.065
<v Speaker 1>Countdown with Keith Olbermann is a production of iHeartRadio. For

0:48:13.145 --> 0:48:18.025
<v Speaker 1>more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

0:48:18.325 --> 0:48:20.085
<v Speaker 1>or wherever you get your podcasts.