1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:06,000 Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever, and iHeartRadio podcast. 2 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 1: Chris Harrison and Laura Zema comedy You from the home 3 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:14,240 Speaker 1: office in Austin, Texas, And today I'm excited about this 4 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,280 Speaker 1: episode because Elsie, we haven't done this in a while, 5 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:20,159 Speaker 1: and that is Q and a Q and Hey, Q 6 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 1: and Hay, shardon Hey. We take your questions which we 7 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:25,079 Speaker 1: have gathered and. 8 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 2: Pay thank you for getting right into shardon Hay. 9 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:27,920 Speaker 1: Jesse. 10 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,640 Speaker 2: You almost did that like a reflex. I don't know why. 11 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:34,000 Speaker 2: I love If anybody watched the show, I did Roses 12 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,839 Speaker 2: and Rose. I love Rose, I love Shardonay, but I 13 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:39,559 Speaker 2: really like to say them with a little hey at 14 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 2: the end. I've always said if we ever had a boat, 15 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:42,960 Speaker 2: and I don't want to both, but I'd name it 16 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:46,320 Speaker 2: the shardon Hey. Well, let's get into some very not 17 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:49,440 Speaker 2: stupid good questions. So Q and a Q and Hey 18 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 2: today and we are taking questions from you all that 19 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 2: you sent into us via Instagram at the most dramatic 20 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,960 Speaker 2: pod ever. Thank you for sending them. And I haven't 21 00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,720 Speaker 2: seen any of them. Chris Harrison has them, so my 22 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 2: actions are going to be real in real time. 23 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,640 Speaker 1: But you know what's funny is the questions. We've done 24 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,640 Speaker 1: this Q and A a few times, and they were very 25 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,760 Speaker 1: generic as we started and people were getting to know 26 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,559 Speaker 1: us together, and clearly people know we're about to get married. 27 00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:14,240 Speaker 1: So I feel like these questions have gotten very personal. 28 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:16,720 Speaker 1: Oh so they're very good. I mean they're very but 29 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,640 Speaker 1: they seem very specific to us, but something we can 30 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 1: all relate to. 31 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,560 Speaker 2: Great. I love it people doing their research. 32 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:26,160 Speaker 1: So Jojo, I don't think it's Jojo Fletcher or Jojo Rodgers. 33 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 1: I guess has has reached out and says, do you 34 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:33,840 Speaker 1: think it's important for separate bank accounts? Ooh for a 35 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 1: couple to have separate bank accounts, have your own money? 36 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:39,959 Speaker 2: I can should I be in. 37 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,840 Speaker 1: Yes, Yeah, you should have an opinion on this. 38 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:44,119 Speaker 2: We've never discussed this. 39 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:47,319 Speaker 1: No, we should right now happening live and if we 40 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: break up, we're going to edit this. 41 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 2: I do. I think it's very couple dependent, and I 42 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:58,560 Speaker 2: do not think it is necessary to have separate bank accounts. 43 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,640 Speaker 2: I do think it's nestssary to have access to your 44 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 2: own finances in a way where it's not that the 45 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 2: partner is controlling everything and you're totally unaware of what's happening. 46 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 2: I actually have a friend who she's still married to 47 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,240 Speaker 2: this guy, and it's been tough on our friendship. It's 48 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 2: kind of I've had to pull back on our friendship 49 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,400 Speaker 2: a little bit because I'm sort of so concerned about 50 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,840 Speaker 2: this marriage. Various things concerned me, But one thing that 51 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:27,320 Speaker 2: concerned me was he would not if she is not 52 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:32,040 Speaker 2: allowed her own credit card in any way, and she 53 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:34,440 Speaker 2: has a debit card, but he controls how much money 54 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:37,800 Speaker 2: gets put on it, and like if she's out, he 55 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:39,560 Speaker 2: kind of scolds her and says, like, what were you 56 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:42,600 Speaker 2: spending it on? And you know, I just said to her, babe, 57 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,360 Speaker 2: it scares me that if you needed to, you couldn't 58 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,920 Speaker 2: like buy a plane ticket on your own. Like that 59 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,800 Speaker 2: was kind of my barometer. If you can't get yourself 60 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 2: somewhere with like a card and you've got your own 61 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:57,079 Speaker 2: money to do it, that's a little scary. So I 62 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,880 Speaker 2: fear the control. And I also fear if one partner 63 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,679 Speaker 2: has zero idea of the finances of the partnership. I 64 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 2: think that's a dangerous place to be. 65 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 1: My advice, Jojo be it's okay to be dependent. One 66 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,959 Speaker 1: may be dependent on the other because there's a stay 67 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:15,119 Speaker 1: at home dad, stay at home mom, whatever. So it's 68 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,560 Speaker 1: okay to be dependent on someone, but I think it's 69 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:21,960 Speaker 1: very important to be independent no matter what. And what 70 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,639 Speaker 1: I mean by that is a little bit of what 71 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 1: Elz is saying right now. I'll be honest. We don't 72 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 1: have a mutual account, but LZ and I know exactly 73 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 1: what's in each other's accounts. We're very accountable, and we're 74 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:42,000 Speaker 1: very open and transparent about very accountable, very accountable. But 75 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 1: it's important I think that we know what the financial 76 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,880 Speaker 1: picture is for so many reasons. So you live within 77 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,680 Speaker 1: your means, so you know what's going on, and you 78 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 1: can see problems that you know ahead of time. You 79 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,240 Speaker 1: can help each other. So I think it's okay to 80 00:03:56,240 --> 00:04:01,880 Speaker 1: be independent, keep your independence, but it's important to understand 81 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:05,080 Speaker 1: and I think I have taught my daughter and my 82 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 1: son to always be accountable, to always understand what's going 83 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,600 Speaker 1: on in your finances so the rug is not pulled 84 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 1: out from under you. 85 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:16,920 Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, I know people who a partner has 86 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:20,400 Speaker 2: suddenly died and they had no idea how to access things, 87 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:24,840 Speaker 2: and they were totally lost, and it's very overwhelming. I 88 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 2: know people who turns out their partner was in secret 89 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 2: gambling all the money away and they didn't realize they 90 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,839 Speaker 2: were broke. Like I just think you have to be 91 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 2: as open as possible and feel like you're both just 92 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,480 Speaker 2: aware of the situation. 93 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:41,600 Speaker 1: They're responsible conversations you need to have and sometimes they 94 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,520 Speaker 1: can be sensitive. Sometimes it's emotional because money does that 95 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 1: to people, even within relationships. 96 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,279 Speaker 2: Wow, will we get a joint account we get married. 97 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 1: I don't think we need one, but I think we 98 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:51,600 Speaker 1: can if you want one. 99 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm like feeling I'm good to go. 100 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:54,680 Speaker 1: You're good. 101 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,680 Speaker 2: I'm also very I will say. 102 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,719 Speaker 1: Again, I think it's just important to understand where the 103 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:00,720 Speaker 1: money is, who has it? You know there is a 104 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 1: flow should anybody need it. That's the most important thing. 105 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 2: Agreed, I accounted for Hannah. 106 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,159 Speaker 1: How would you handle a friend or family member who 107 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:17,240 Speaker 1: doesn't like your partner, that's as a wedding is coming 108 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,200 Speaker 1: up on the horizon. 109 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:23,479 Speaker 2: My family hates Chris, your family kind of likes me. 110 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 1: Luckily we are in the camp of our families love 111 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,200 Speaker 1: each other and love us. 112 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:33,400 Speaker 2: So but have you ever been in that situation? And 113 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,360 Speaker 2: so what did you do? Because I'll be honest, I've 114 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 2: never really been in that situation. 115 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 1: Here's the thing at the end of the day, and 116 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 1: I'll take this, you know, out of my family so 117 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,640 Speaker 1: I don't get anybody in trouble. But I've run into 118 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:49,279 Speaker 1: this before. And my advice to people is this, All 119 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:54,760 Speaker 1: you can say is your piece. One time. You can 120 00:05:54,839 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: explain to your brother, sister, cousin, best friend. One time, Hey, Lauren, 121 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:06,479 Speaker 1: you know, maybe I'm not seeing what you're seeing in Chris. 122 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,960 Speaker 1: You know, maybe I just want to say, you don't 123 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 1: have to do this. If you want to get in 124 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,640 Speaker 1: the car and get out of here, I have the 125 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 1: car running. If you tell me you love Chris and 126 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:20,320 Speaker 1: that you see something I don't, et cetera, this will 127 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 1: be the last time we talk about it. And I 128 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:25,640 Speaker 1: love you. And if you marry this person, they're my 129 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 1: family too. You get one take at this. That's it. 130 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 2: Well, I totally agree. And also like, once you've said 131 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 2: your piece, the thing is the person's heard you and 132 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:33,720 Speaker 2: they're going to do what they want to do, right, 133 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 2: And so if you keep repeating it and you say 134 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 2: you don't like them, then you're creating toxicity. 135 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,120 Speaker 1: It's not that they didn't hear you the first time I've. 136 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,039 Speaker 2: Said it before. No one in the history of time 137 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:44,320 Speaker 2: has ever broken up with someone because their family told 138 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,880 Speaker 2: them to. They got to come to it in their 139 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,080 Speaker 2: own time. But I think this question, if I may 140 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,120 Speaker 2: go back, and that was very good advice, But is 141 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:53,599 Speaker 2: this question asking what you do personally if you are 142 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,320 Speaker 2: dating someone your family doesn't. 143 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:56,600 Speaker 1: It, just as how would you handle a friend or 144 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 1: family member who doesn't like your partner? 145 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,159 Speaker 2: Okay, well, so you were in that situation you gave 146 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,040 Speaker 2: the advice on when you didn't like your family member's person, 147 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 2: But you were also in the situation where you dated 148 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:09,800 Speaker 2: someone and your family did not like the person you 149 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 2: were dating. What were you aware of it? And if so, 150 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,880 Speaker 2: what did you do in that moment? Did you take 151 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:16,520 Speaker 2: it seriously? Did you discount it? 152 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 1: What I would have respected? Because there was someone I 153 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: dated there where my friends especially didn't love her and 154 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 1: didn't did they tell you? 155 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 2: Were you aware? 156 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 1: No? That's the thing is Here's the thing is I 157 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:33,640 Speaker 1: look back, I realized they kind of ghosted me a 158 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 1: little bit. There were times when we'd be on the 159 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,800 Speaker 1: road or whatever and they're like, oh, yeah, we avoided 160 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,080 Speaker 1: you like the plague. They told me this later, and 161 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:43,800 Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, man, like, why didn't y'all say something? 162 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 1: And of course the obvious answer is, you know, you 163 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:51,000 Speaker 1: don't want to make people choose sides. You don't want 164 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,360 Speaker 1: to cause problems. So I get that, But at the 165 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:56,000 Speaker 1: same time, I wish they had respectfully just pulled me 166 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,720 Speaker 1: aside and say, hey, I'm going to say this once 167 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 1: I don't see what you say. 168 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you should say it. I will in 169 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 2: my I had a past relationship where yeah, I should have. 170 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,120 Speaker 2: I let me clarify my earlier statement. I've never been 171 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 2: in this situation where I knew my friends and family 172 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 2: didn't like the person I also found out later, and 173 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 2: I wish they would have said something, But I also 174 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 2: know if they'd said something, I don't think it would 175 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:23,480 Speaker 2: have made a difference. 176 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 1: And you know now they think about it. I feel 177 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,960 Speaker 1: like a hypocrite because I had a phone call yesterday 178 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: with someone I really love and they just went through 179 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:35,480 Speaker 1: a breakup. And it's something It's something I felt long before. 180 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 1: It's when they were dating, and I never said anything 181 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:39,040 Speaker 1: to them while they were dating. 182 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:40,079 Speaker 2: M h. 183 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,840 Speaker 1: I said it yesterday on the phone call, thankes. So 184 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:46,679 Speaker 1: I'm a hypocrite. I need to start taking some of 185 00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 1: my own advice. I advocate I should have said something. 186 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,920 Speaker 2: We should have sayd that I would advocate and say, 187 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,040 Speaker 2: if you think there's an issue in your friend or 188 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:58,480 Speaker 2: family member's relationship with their partner, you should say something. 189 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,480 Speaker 2: But like you said, say it one time. Yeah, but 190 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:03,360 Speaker 2: yeah you have you have to say it for them, 191 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,960 Speaker 2: and you have to say it so you can put 192 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:06,480 Speaker 2: your head on your pillow at night and. 193 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 1: Not to go too deep on all these layers. But 194 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 1: it is difficult too. When someone's just dating. You're like, well, 195 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:14,160 Speaker 1: we'll see if this is even yeah, and then it's like. 196 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,760 Speaker 2: Oh, cra by the way, not to go do deep. 197 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 2: That's literally the point of this podcast. 198 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,960 Speaker 1: You're going to You're going deep. 199 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:19,840 Speaker 2: Okay, what's next? 200 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:25,680 Speaker 1: Connor Gentlemen says, are sparks a thing? How many dates 201 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,040 Speaker 1: should you give it for sparks to fly? 202 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,679 Speaker 2: Oh? Sparks butterflies? 203 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 1: Yeah? I love it first sight? That immediate? 204 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:34,559 Speaker 2: Do you believe in love it first sight? 205 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,760 Speaker 1: I believe it a crush and a heavy, heavy crush, 206 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,600 Speaker 1: and then later you can look back and be like, yeah, 207 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:42,720 Speaker 1: I knew, Like honestly, that's how I felt with you, 208 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,240 Speaker 1: like I knew it was different right away. I knew, 209 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 1: and you know, I can look back in hindsight and 210 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:47,719 Speaker 1: be like. 211 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,560 Speaker 2: But you mean our first date. I mean we worked 212 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:51,520 Speaker 2: together for years before. I don't think we had that right. 213 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:54,199 Speaker 1: We worked the first time you and I intimately went 214 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: out with the object of this is romantic. 215 00:09:57,559 --> 00:10:00,600 Speaker 2: I'm saying I don't believe in love at first sight. 216 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:04,920 Speaker 2: I've heard stories from people before who say, Oh, she 217 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:07,200 Speaker 2: walked in and I looked and said, that's the woman 218 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,640 Speaker 2: I'm going to marry. I don't know if that's that 219 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,360 Speaker 2: you like knew, or if then your mind just manifested 220 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:14,880 Speaker 2: that and you were like, okay, this is and then 221 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,400 Speaker 2: you went with it. You know what came first, the 222 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:19,760 Speaker 2: chicken or the egg. But I do think I believe 223 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:24,559 Speaker 2: an incredible attraction at first sight and sparks. How do 224 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:26,440 Speaker 2: you know when to let the sparks fly? I actually 225 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:31,560 Speaker 2: have a rule on this. I am an advocate of 226 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:35,440 Speaker 2: always giving a second date. I think first dates can 227 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,920 Speaker 2: be really weird. It's like a job interview. It's awkward. 228 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,680 Speaker 2: People are nervous, like they can. 229 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:41,319 Speaker 1: Go really great. 230 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:44,000 Speaker 2: But I also know people who had like a disaster 231 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:46,000 Speaker 2: of first date and then ended up with that person. 232 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:50,720 Speaker 2: I think it's just like you know, I don't know. 233 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:54,080 Speaker 2: I'm just saying it's a big, high stake situation, and 234 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 2: sometimes people aren't totally themselves because they're very nervous. So 235 00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 2: I think, if you get through a first date and 236 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 2: it seems okay, don't be worried if there aren't. 237 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 1: Sparks, yeah, that you're not madly in love. 238 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:05,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, give it a second date. 239 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:10,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, and see i'd say three dates really yeah. 240 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:12,760 Speaker 2: If I'm not doing. 241 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:16,320 Speaker 1: That, that's not trying to like really salvage something. I'm 242 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:20,079 Speaker 1: just saying, if you're not sure, it's okay to give 243 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:22,400 Speaker 1: it three dates, If you're really not feeling it after 244 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:26,240 Speaker 1: date two or three, then that's a big sign. That's 245 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:27,560 Speaker 1: a big red flag. 246 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:30,280 Speaker 2: To me, because I do think for me, even for us, 247 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 2: like I thought our first date went really well, yeah. 248 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,840 Speaker 1: And there was chemistry and there were sparks. 249 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:39,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, but I still wasn't like probably by you know, 250 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,079 Speaker 2: the second or third date. Then I then I kind 251 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:42,840 Speaker 2: of went home and thought, oh, I really like for 252 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 2: me it. 253 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:46,640 Speaker 1: Was after Yeah, definitely had a conversation with some people 254 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:48,920 Speaker 1: after date one, but after day two. 255 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,319 Speaker 2: Yeah, then I was in restaurant for sure. Yes, Then 256 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,760 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I really like him. And then 257 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:58,720 Speaker 2: I actually became more nervous about us dating because then 258 00:11:58,720 --> 00:11:59,560 Speaker 2: I really liked you well. 259 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:03,959 Speaker 1: And date one, if you remember, we did the modern 260 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,800 Speaker 1: version of we met at the place. 261 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,199 Speaker 2: Yeah, then on day two and day two I picked. 262 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,160 Speaker 1: You up, Yes, which is more my speed. 263 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:13,959 Speaker 2: The thing is, I think sparks have to be to 264 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,360 Speaker 2: a certain extent created. 265 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 1: You should have that excitement, though you should if you're 266 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:18,880 Speaker 1: not feeling the excitement. 267 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 2: No, no, totally. But I'm saying like, don't discount someone 268 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,200 Speaker 2: after the first date if you feel like there's no sparks, 269 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 2: because a sparks can happen, Oh you just see someone 270 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:27,920 Speaker 2: in a bar and you think they're they're hot. 271 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,280 Speaker 1: But also sparks. 272 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:32,000 Speaker 2: Can happen because you've created a connection and an environment, 273 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,360 Speaker 2: and the sparks can grow from there. 274 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,000 Speaker 1: For sure, A good conversation can all of a sudden create. 275 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:37,640 Speaker 2: You can be building that fire. 276 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:44,760 Speaker 1: Don't be so don't succumb to the the movie version 277 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,240 Speaker 1: of if I'm not feeling this. As soon as we 278 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 1: met at the Empire State Building, We're going to take 279 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:53,440 Speaker 1: a little bit of a sideways turn here. This is 280 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:57,160 Speaker 1: really having to do with you. Oh, this is from Elijah. 281 00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:02,240 Speaker 1: Not love related, but have to know favorite Harry Potter character. 282 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:06,319 Speaker 2: Oh why gosh. 283 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,760 Speaker 1: Please don't make this an hour long answer. 284 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,800 Speaker 2: I will just go with my gut, which is what 285 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,440 Speaker 2: I always It's very difficult. 286 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:15,079 Speaker 1: Okay, my gut is choosing your favorite child. 287 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:19,079 Speaker 2: I'm doing my annual re listen. I re listened to. 288 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,439 Speaker 1: The books everywhere. This is Elijah. This is perfect timing. 289 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:23,640 Speaker 2: I'm on my favorite book right now, which is Book four, 290 00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:25,559 Speaker 2: Gobblet of Fire. I always re listen in the fall 291 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:28,560 Speaker 2: through the holidays because it's the perfect festive listen. I 292 00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:30,559 Speaker 2: can't take too much time with this. He's looking at me. Okay, 293 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:34,360 Speaker 2: my gut instinct answer is Dobby. I love Dobby the elf. 294 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:36,280 Speaker 2: Chris is looking at me confused. 295 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:38,160 Speaker 1: Really no, no, I know, I know who that is, 296 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,960 Speaker 1: but I'm just that's not one of the main characters. 297 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,720 Speaker 1: It's not one of the main actors. It's why why 298 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:45,520 Speaker 1: Now I have to follow up why? 299 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:53,400 Speaker 2: Because Dobby is so heartbreakingly like sweet and funny, and 300 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,200 Speaker 2: you kind of get all the emotions from Dobby. You're 301 00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:57,960 Speaker 2: rooting for Dobby you're laughing. 302 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:01,400 Speaker 1: You're gonna ask a stupid Harry Potter question. Potterheads don't 303 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:06,160 Speaker 1: come at me. Is Dobby in all the books? Okay, 304 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:09,120 Speaker 1: so don't you know, don't don't don't no spoiler alerts 305 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,839 Speaker 1: of where Dobby goes away, but Dobby is at least 306 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 1: through book four because that's where you. 307 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:17,280 Speaker 2: Are spoiler alert. It's like it's been out so long. 308 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,120 Speaker 2: They're talking about making a new TV series, which I 309 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,320 Speaker 2: have thoughts on. I could rant about that. I don't 310 00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:23,600 Speaker 2: think we should just be recycling the material. Why are 311 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,360 Speaker 2: we doing a Harry Potter TV series Because it's lazy 312 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:27,600 Speaker 2: and so they're just trying to make money and I 313 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:29,400 Speaker 2: think they should be doing a Marauder series and doing 314 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,800 Speaker 2: something more original. But anyway, let's get back to what 315 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:32,200 Speaker 2: people got. 316 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,280 Speaker 1: Elijah, thank you for bringing up because I learned something 317 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:40,000 Speaker 1: today I never knew. Dobby Elena, how do I navigate 318 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:44,000 Speaker 1: challenging in laws? Also, how do I not let this 319 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,440 Speaker 1: cause tension between my husband Andy? 320 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,680 Speaker 2: Ooh okay, so I've gotten some good advice about this 321 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,720 Speaker 2: in the past, so I will repeat the advice that 322 00:14:53,760 --> 00:15:00,600 Speaker 2: I was told years ago, which was one when it 323 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,280 Speaker 2: comes to your parents and in laws, be very careful 324 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 2: what you share because I do think that people have 325 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,920 Speaker 2: like that's family, you know, and like say with your 326 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,520 Speaker 2: own parents. I think if you get in a fight 327 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:16,680 Speaker 2: with your spouse, your parents might be you might forgive 328 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 2: your spouse more quickly than your parent does. I think 329 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:22,200 Speaker 2: be careful with your in laws on like what you're 330 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,600 Speaker 2: saying about their child. Even if you feel comfortable with them, 331 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 2: they it's still that's their kid. And then another portion 332 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 2: of that piece of advice was, look, even if this 333 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:39,160 Speaker 2: person is driving you nuts, if your partner knows that 334 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 2: their parent is wild, then just let it go. Try 335 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:46,600 Speaker 2: not to repeat it and feed into it because they know, 336 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 2: you know, they know, And what are they going to do, 337 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,200 Speaker 2: like not stop talking to their mom or their dad. 338 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,920 Speaker 2: It's not going to happen. So navigate it together. And 339 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,920 Speaker 2: I think it's a tougher situation. And I have some 340 00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 2: friends who maybe mom is why and their husband like 341 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:04,440 Speaker 2: is totally lacking an awareness and like things mom among 342 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,400 Speaker 2: the moon And that's a tough situation. 343 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,080 Speaker 1: Well, and it's you know, hopefully you can have a discussion. 344 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:11,880 Speaker 1: It's I know, it's a tough thing because if we 345 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:15,040 Speaker 1: are sensitive about anything. It's coming after our moms or dads. 346 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:18,160 Speaker 1: So that's a difficult conversation to have. But if you 347 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:21,760 Speaker 1: can set some boundaries, I mean, for if they don't 348 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,640 Speaker 1: live near you, it's hey, let's all just keep in 349 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,560 Speaker 1: perspective the fact that this is like one two three 350 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,760 Speaker 1: percent of our time. We deal with it when we 351 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 1: have to. It's like dealing with an X. But sometimes moms, dads, 352 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:37,160 Speaker 1: in laws have to live near you with you, so 353 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:38,880 Speaker 1: that makes it a little bit tougher. 354 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:44,360 Speaker 2: I think boundaries and creating successful situations are important. Like 355 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:46,480 Speaker 2: I do think it's okay no matter how tough your 356 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,600 Speaker 2: in law is to draw a boundary, like they can't 357 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 2: come over to your house any time they want for 358 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:54,880 Speaker 2: you know, without telling you. I also think that you 359 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:58,920 Speaker 2: can create in any relationship a successful situation, like if 360 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,080 Speaker 2: you know you're in your mother in law loves to 361 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,440 Speaker 2: shop and she kind of drives you crazy, offer to 362 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,320 Speaker 2: take her shopping for an hour and that should like 363 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,480 Speaker 2: fill a bucket for a little bit and it'll hopefully 364 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,760 Speaker 2: be hur at her best. And then I also think 365 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:15,480 Speaker 2: I find it in any situation it helps to be 366 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:19,560 Speaker 2: like vulnerable yourself, Like if you think that your partner 367 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:23,480 Speaker 2: doesn't see some issues that their parents have. I would 368 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:26,040 Speaker 2: share like issues that you think about your own parents 369 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:29,960 Speaker 2: and see if you being open inspires them to open up, 370 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:31,919 Speaker 2: and then two morek and then through that you can 371 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:33,400 Speaker 2: get on the same page about the parent. 372 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:38,760 Speaker 1: Interesting question here from Jacqueline. I'm interested to get your reaction. 373 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:42,439 Speaker 1: Is it okay for your partner to tell you that 374 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:44,120 Speaker 1: they prefer you without makeup? 375 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:50,080 Speaker 2: Oh? Well, it sounds like a nice thing to say, 376 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:51,159 Speaker 2: doesn't it? Like I love you? 377 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,080 Speaker 1: Yes, I have. I have a theory about this, as 378 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:56,080 Speaker 1: I wanted to hear you should I go first, go 379 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,560 Speaker 1: for it? So Jacqueline, and I don't mean this to 380 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:03,120 Speaker 1: be roal fod And maybe this doesn't pertain to you, 381 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,760 Speaker 1: but if somebody says I prefer you with less makeup 382 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:12,120 Speaker 1: or without makeup, maybe it just means they don't love 383 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,800 Speaker 1: the way you do your makeup. I saw this on 384 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,959 Speaker 1: The Bachelor and Bacherette for twenty years, left to our 385 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:21,800 Speaker 1: own devices, we're not always great at doing our own 386 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:25,639 Speaker 1: makeup and hair and all those things there. You know, 387 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,760 Speaker 1: for a long time, you know, people ask me on 388 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,560 Speaker 1: the show did you dress these people? Did you do there? 389 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:34,720 Speaker 1: The first night, we really wanted to leave the women 390 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:38,600 Speaker 1: to their own devices because it's important to see where 391 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:41,360 Speaker 1: they are, where they're from, they're going to dress kind 392 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,879 Speaker 1: of I'm from the South, I'm from New York, I'm 393 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:44,880 Speaker 1: from San Francis. 394 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:47,879 Speaker 2: To be themselves genuinely, not a TV change of themselves. 395 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:54,600 Speaker 1: But oftentimes the idea of makeup for people is more 396 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,440 Speaker 1: is more, and especially when they think they're going to 397 00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:00,280 Speaker 1: be on TV or whatever. So, you know, Jacqueline, again, 398 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,600 Speaker 1: I'm not saying specifically, I don't know you, and so 399 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,639 Speaker 1: I don't know if this is for you, but I 400 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:08,679 Speaker 1: think sometimes maybe a partner's trying to say, you know, 401 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,840 Speaker 1: maybe a little less or maybe like go to the 402 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:15,159 Speaker 1: department store and maybe get a tutorial. Maybe you know, 403 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:18,880 Speaker 1: the bright, bright red lipstick you wear every single day 404 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:20,480 Speaker 1: is a lot. 405 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:23,120 Speaker 2: Maybe you say back to them, why. 406 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:27,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just soay? Yeah, what is there anything interesting? 407 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:27,840 Speaker 1: That's a good point. 408 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:28,800 Speaker 2: I never thought about it. 409 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, So, I you know, maybe this person's trying to 410 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:34,440 Speaker 1: say something else, and Lauren's right, what you should say 411 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,760 Speaker 1: back to them is say, hey, just tell me, is 412 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:40,199 Speaker 1: there anything specific? Because I kind of would like to 413 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,720 Speaker 1: look good for you and with you. So if there's 414 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:46,000 Speaker 1: something that bugs you, please tell me. All right on 415 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:51,920 Speaker 1: to the next that's a tough one. You nailed it, Wendy. 416 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,159 Speaker 1: How do you feel this will be a quick one. 417 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,600 Speaker 1: How do you feel about women being called cougars when 418 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 1: they date younger men? Not a fair li. 419 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:05,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, not a I mean, not a fan. It's with anything. 420 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,879 Speaker 2: I guess it depends on the way you're saying it, 421 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:10,800 Speaker 2: like if it's kind of funny or affectionate. But I 422 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,480 Speaker 2: don't love it because I do think inherently it has 423 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:18,520 Speaker 2: this negative connotation, and it seems generally to be more 424 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,719 Speaker 2: accepted by society for men to day younger women than 425 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:21,960 Speaker 2: it is for women today younger men. 426 00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:28,000 Speaker 1: Renee asked, how did you navigate integrating into the lives 427 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 1: of Chris's kids. 428 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:34,760 Speaker 2: Well, I mean We've talked a lot about this before, 429 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:39,120 Speaker 2: but just the literal integration into their daily lives. I 430 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:45,960 Speaker 2: think that I really tried to like find out what 431 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,840 Speaker 2: their likes and interests were, honestly, Like I would try 432 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:51,560 Speaker 2: to talk to Josh about Star Wars because I knew 433 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:54,679 Speaker 2: he was into Star Wars. I didn't know all his 434 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 2: video games, but I'm a Star Wars fan, so I 435 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,359 Speaker 2: tried to connect with him on that. Taylor was, you know, 436 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,639 Speaker 2: a teenage girl in high school, so I talked to 437 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:08,000 Speaker 2: her about crushes she had and also I just tried 438 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:14,080 Speaker 2: to Yeah. I mean it was like about putting them first, 439 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,280 Speaker 2: like what their interests were in their activities where I 440 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:19,320 Speaker 2: remember Taylor had her driver, was getting her permit, so 441 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,040 Speaker 2: I said, like, I'll help you learn to drive, or 442 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,640 Speaker 2: she and I both love coffee, so we go get coffee. Yeah, 443 00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:28,280 Speaker 2: I guess that was it. I think you're never in 444 00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:31,880 Speaker 2: any relationship with anybody. You're going to create a relationship 445 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,280 Speaker 2: if you ask that person about themselves and show interest 446 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:36,240 Speaker 2: in what they're interested in. 447 00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 1: So true, but just great advice in general. Yeah, this 448 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,720 Speaker 1: is interesting and I think I know the answer for you, 449 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,200 Speaker 1: but I need to find out. Paige says, have either 450 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,600 Speaker 1: of you ever gone on a date or had a 451 00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:59,960 Speaker 1: crush with someone from the Bachelor franchise? 452 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,600 Speaker 2: Well, me with you. 453 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:06,920 Speaker 1: I think what they're saying is outside of each other. 454 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,520 Speaker 2: Oh no, I never dated or had a crush on 455 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:11,720 Speaker 2: anyone else in the franchise. 456 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:17,320 Speaker 1: I did, and I have multiple dates, multiple crushes. This 457 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:23,080 Speaker 1: is when they were single with Wells and ben true 458 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,199 Speaker 1: love them in very different ways. And I guess I 459 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,520 Speaker 1: could throw Bob Guiney and Andrew Firestone in there too. 460 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:31,440 Speaker 2: God, you've done so many that's so many affairs. 461 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:39,320 Speaker 1: One more serious one was Lauren intimidated or nervous to 462 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:44,600 Speaker 1: meet my ex wife. 463 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:47,360 Speaker 2: I'm sure I was probably a little nervous. 464 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:48,880 Speaker 1: Definitely not intimidated. 465 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,640 Speaker 2: Well, I mean, I think I've just wanted to go well. 466 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:56,119 Speaker 2: I'm a really big believer in like beautiful blended families 467 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,879 Speaker 2: and build bridges, don't burn them, and I'd rather have 468 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,320 Speaker 2: love than animosity. So I just really wanted it to 469 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:07,360 Speaker 2: go well. I wanted to show her the respect that 470 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,640 Speaker 2: I knew she was your kid's mom and I and 471 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,640 Speaker 2: she raised beautiful, wonderful kids, and I wanted to compliment 472 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,959 Speaker 2: her on that. And yeah, again going back to like 473 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 2: in any relationship, show interest in what that person's into 474 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,560 Speaker 2: and try to get to know them. So that's all 475 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,360 Speaker 2: that I wanted to do. But I was probably nervous 476 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:28,200 Speaker 2: just because like, that's your kid's mom. I mean, that's 477 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:33,040 Speaker 2: a big I certainly didn't want to have a bad relationship, 478 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:34,320 Speaker 2: so I wanted it to go well. If you and 479 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:35,639 Speaker 2: I were going to be serious that I knew that 480 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:36,920 Speaker 2: was going to make life a lot easier. 481 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,800 Speaker 1: And I have to just gush a little bit on 482 00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:44,200 Speaker 1: the job Elsie did with the kid, bridging the gap 483 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:47,040 Speaker 1: with the kids, with the X all of it just 484 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:50,560 Speaker 1: I mean, just again a masterclass. We've talked about it before, 485 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:51,560 Speaker 1: but just so brilliant. 486 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,880 Speaker 2: Well, you know, it's I think a lot of it 487 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,119 Speaker 2: was like I was really raised by my parents to 488 00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:01,159 Speaker 2: be a bit maybe it's a Midwestern or I don't know, 489 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:05,360 Speaker 2: but to be sort of overly, like when you first 490 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:09,199 Speaker 2: meet someone, overly ask them questions about themselves. When you 491 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,840 Speaker 2: are thanking someone, go over the top with the thank 492 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,200 Speaker 2: you gift in the card, like do It's like it's 493 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:17,159 Speaker 2: better to be overdressed than underdressed. I totally agree, you 494 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,720 Speaker 2: know so, I think like when I was meeting your ex, 495 00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:23,840 Speaker 2: for example, and then as our relationship grew, like I 496 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,960 Speaker 2: sent her stuff on mother I sent her gifts on 497 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:28,199 Speaker 2: Mother's Day, or I sent her texts because and by 498 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,280 Speaker 2: the way, I really do she's an incredible mom. I 499 00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:33,159 Speaker 2: wanted her to know that. I think if you praise 500 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:37,120 Speaker 2: people and show them love, like I don't know, that's 501 00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:38,760 Speaker 2: also a great way to keep your side of the 502 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,679 Speaker 2: street clean and feel good, and then also hopefully it 503 00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:44,320 Speaker 2: opens them up and makes them vulnerable to show that back. 504 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:45,880 Speaker 1: We just did and you can go back and listen 505 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,199 Speaker 1: to this podcast with Brian Austin Green and Sharna, and 506 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:51,320 Speaker 1: Sharna talked about running into Megan Fox and reaching out 507 00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:57,240 Speaker 1: to her and just creating that environment in that bridge 508 00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 1: that hey, I respect you, Stan, You've done a good job. 509 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,280 Speaker 1: I just want to be a value add here. This 510 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,720 Speaker 1: isn't a competition because I think immediately we all just 511 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:10,720 Speaker 1: feel competitive. You know, no one's replacing anybody. And I 512 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:12,480 Speaker 1: think as soon as you feel like, hey, I just 513 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:15,480 Speaker 1: want to bolster what you've already done and it's out 514 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:17,879 Speaker 1: of kindness and love, it definitely helps. And then I thought, 515 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:19,960 Speaker 1: you know, Sharna talked a lot about that with Megan. 516 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,520 Speaker 1: I thought it was very very apropos I'll take you 517 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,080 Speaker 1: out the hot seat and I'll bring it back here. 518 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:30,320 Speaker 1: Catherine asked, Chris, I have to ask, how do you 519 00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:32,800 Speaker 1: feel when people say the show is not the same 520 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:38,680 Speaker 1: without you? Does that make you happy? You know, it's 521 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,880 Speaker 1: it doesn't make me happy or sad, honestly, Catherine, It well, 522 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,520 Speaker 1: that's not true. I guess it makes me feel appreciated. 523 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,440 Speaker 1: It makes me feel loved, and I appreciate when people 524 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,719 Speaker 1: do say that. I know where it comes from, and 525 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:56,160 Speaker 1: I do. I do hear that a lot. It makes 526 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,560 Speaker 1: me feel like we had because I always felt like 527 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:03,680 Speaker 1: we had a connection for twenty years. It's a relationship 528 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,760 Speaker 1: that I worked on really hard with all of you, 529 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:08,280 Speaker 1: and it meant a lot to me. And I tried 530 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:10,879 Speaker 1: to be very transparent. You know, I knew I was 531 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:13,800 Speaker 1: doing a show, and sometimes I kind of needed to 532 00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,560 Speaker 1: mislead you so it'd be more entertaining or exciting. But 533 00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,480 Speaker 1: at the same time, I tried to be very honest, 534 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,359 Speaker 1: and when I was doing interviews, I tried to ask 535 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,600 Speaker 1: the question that I thought you were screaming and yelling 536 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,359 Speaker 1: from your couch. And so when people come up to 537 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,320 Speaker 1: me and say we miss you, I miss you, I 538 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:33,320 Speaker 1: miss your voice. You know, we grew up with you. You 539 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,920 Speaker 1: were there when I bonded with my mom or whatever 540 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:39,480 Speaker 1: those stories are that I hear so often. That definitely 541 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:42,119 Speaker 1: warms my heart because it makes me feel like that 542 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,120 Speaker 1: relationship that was so important to me was also important 543 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:49,639 Speaker 1: to you, if that makes sense. And here's an interesting 544 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:55,160 Speaker 1: one a noon as an anonymous Oh, you've mentioned Call 545 00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:58,680 Speaker 1: Her Daddy on the podcast to Call Her Daddy podcast? 546 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,440 Speaker 1: Would you ever be a guest on Call Her Daddy 547 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:04,960 Speaker 1: if they ever asked you? Are you open when it 548 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:10,040 Speaker 1: comes to talking about sex? So for sure I would 549 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:12,840 Speaker 1: go on their podcast if they asked me. It's fun. 550 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,359 Speaker 1: I think they do a great job. I think it 551 00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:17,200 Speaker 1: hits their target audience, and they're really good. I always 552 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:20,520 Speaker 1: respect anybody who's good at what they do and creating 553 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:22,920 Speaker 1: a show and hitting their audience and really driving. I 554 00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:27,439 Speaker 1: always pay attention to what other hosts are doing. So 555 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:29,080 Speaker 1: if anyway, if I ever got asked to do Call 556 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:34,360 Speaker 1: Her Daddy, for sure. The sex thing is interesting. I 557 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:38,800 Speaker 1: don't mind talking about sexual things. I'm not embarrassed by 558 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:42,080 Speaker 1: it or whatever. I am old school when it comes 559 00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:45,560 Speaker 1: to talking about sex between the woman I love and 560 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,120 Speaker 1: I I'm not open about them. 561 00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,679 Speaker 2: That's such a good point. And you and I have 562 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,520 Speaker 2: talked about this before because I was just sort of 563 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:54,880 Speaker 2: as I was listening to you, I'm picturing what would 564 00:27:54,920 --> 00:28:00,960 Speaker 2: I say to this. I I'm pretty openly talk about 565 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,520 Speaker 2: sex with my friends. I don't know if I would 566 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:09,399 Speaker 2: with like the whole world, and I think especially, yeah, 567 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:13,639 Speaker 2: there's something about your relationship when it's your partner. For 568 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,400 Speaker 2: me anyway, it's maybe just this respect thing or that 569 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,840 Speaker 2: that's intimate and just for us. I would sort of 570 00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:22,639 Speaker 2: be more open to talking about my past than I 571 00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:23,680 Speaker 2: would me too. 572 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, present totally and if I could speak in generalities 573 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,080 Speaker 1: about things, and I would. 574 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,359 Speaker 2: Never name someone specific. I don't love what people like 575 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:32,439 Speaker 2: go on podcasts and like I know is. 576 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,240 Speaker 1: To get to out people. It's like, yeah, you don't 577 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,760 Speaker 1: get to do that, just because I think information is 578 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:40,200 Speaker 1: power and it's powerful and it needs to be used 579 00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:43,080 Speaker 1: very carefully. And this comes from someone who kept secrets 580 00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,080 Speaker 1: for twenty years about the show they were hosting. In 581 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:48,400 Speaker 1: that my whole life with secrets, I think it's important 582 00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:51,440 Speaker 1: that people can trust you and value that, so, you know, 583 00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,480 Speaker 1: it would be difficult. I agree, it would be easier 584 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:55,880 Speaker 1: to talk about my past. I'm you know, if someone said, hey, 585 00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:57,640 Speaker 1: what is Lauren like, you know, what are the things 586 00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,920 Speaker 1: she really likes in bed? It's like, I'm never going 587 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:00,800 Speaker 1: to talk about that. 588 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:01,560 Speaker 2: It feels weird. 589 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:03,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like that's none of your damn business. That's 590 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,080 Speaker 1: between you know, Laura and I. 591 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:07,560 Speaker 2: You know, it's going to be really exciting for us 592 00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:09,160 Speaker 2: to have sex the first time on the wedding line. 593 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:12,440 Speaker 1: I can't wait. I've heard so many good things about it. 594 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:15,680 Speaker 1: You know. It kind of reminds me about Howard Stern. 595 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:18,840 Speaker 1: Howard Stern is someone I really admire as a host. 596 00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:20,320 Speaker 1: And I know some people might be like, are you 597 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,920 Speaker 1: kidding me? But whether you love him or hate him, 598 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:26,440 Speaker 1: and that's I think that's a good thing about having 599 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:30,880 Speaker 1: a visceral reaction to somebody. He is genius at what 600 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:34,120 Speaker 1: he does. He created a niche he filled a hole, 601 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:36,760 Speaker 1: and he's one of the best interviewers of our time. 602 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,080 Speaker 1: Whether you love or hate him, you have to understand 603 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:43,920 Speaker 1: the power he's had in our world. And I've always 604 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:45,720 Speaker 1: thought about sitting down with him. He was a huge 605 00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,800 Speaker 1: Bacher fan. Maybe he still is. I don't know if 606 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:49,800 Speaker 1: he talks about the show, but he used to be 607 00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,640 Speaker 1: a massive, massive Bacher fan, and I always thought about 608 00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:55,600 Speaker 1: going on his show. But I was always reluctant because 609 00:29:56,560 --> 00:30:00,480 Speaker 1: I think I know the interview Howard would want, and 610 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:04,520 Speaker 1: also the interview Howard deserves, and I don't know if 611 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:05,560 Speaker 1: I can give him that. 612 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,000 Speaker 2: What do you mean like revealing stuff about the franchise. 613 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, revealing stuff about the franchise. He'd probably get a 614 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:14,760 Speaker 1: little sexual. He'd probably get, you know. And I just 615 00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,480 Speaker 1: there's certain things I won't talk about. Again. I'm not 616 00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:21,320 Speaker 1: going to go, you know, talk about Ben Higgins and 617 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,240 Speaker 1: Sean Lowe. I just you know, if I knew some 618 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:25,200 Speaker 1: dirt about them, I'm not just going to bury those 619 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:27,120 Speaker 1: guys because I think it would make a good clickbait 620 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:31,240 Speaker 1: headline and make me popular. So I always was. And 621 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:33,400 Speaker 1: again Howard has not asked me, but I would be 622 00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:36,240 Speaker 1: reluctant because I would be afraid I would let him down. 623 00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 1: And the last thing I would want to do is 624 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:41,680 Speaker 1: not give Howard Stern the interview that he deserves because 625 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:45,480 Speaker 1: he's so good and I wouldn't want to suck it. 626 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:47,280 Speaker 1: Kind of reminds me of David Letterman. You know, I've 627 00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:50,400 Speaker 1: done Kimmel a bunch, I've done a million talk shows, 628 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:52,480 Speaker 1: and you can kind of get through those. But there's 629 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,160 Speaker 1: certain people that I would not want to let down. 630 00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:58,239 Speaker 2: So I remember Larry King was on your bucket list, 631 00:30:58,280 --> 00:30:59,760 Speaker 2: and you did Larry I did Larry. 632 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:04,240 Speaker 1: King, although on one time I sat down with Larry King, 633 00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:06,920 Speaker 1: which was a highlight before he passed away. It was 634 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,840 Speaker 1: a dream. It was everything I wanted because he's also 635 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:12,240 Speaker 1: one of the great interviewers of our time. And then 636 00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,280 Speaker 1: Dennis Miller was filling in for Larry King when I 637 00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:16,960 Speaker 1: went on the second time, Big Dennis Miller fan and 638 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:29,760 Speaker 1: that was very interesting as well. 639 00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:32,840 Speaker 2: Let's pipe in with this one because somebody DMed me 640 00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:36,320 Speaker 2: this just asking for my advice, and I said, wow, 641 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:38,000 Speaker 2: this is so interesting. Can I bring it to the pod? 642 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:42,240 Speaker 2: And she said yes, So she DMed me, I wanted 643 00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,520 Speaker 2: to ask your advice. I'm a thirty three year old 644 00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:48,240 Speaker 2: single woman who someday wants kids, so she's thinking about relationships. 645 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:52,080 Speaker 2: But she said, I just went through a really traumatic 646 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:55,360 Speaker 2: breakup with the person I thought was my forever person. 647 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,520 Speaker 2: I have made my peace with waiting for the right 648 00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:01,280 Speaker 2: person to come into my life. But my family is 649 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:04,480 Speaker 2: saying the most hurtful things. They're saying I'm the problem. 650 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 2: I'm probably crazy, asking me what did I do. Even 651 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,440 Speaker 2: one person said to me that I can't keep a man. 652 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:11,480 Speaker 1: Oh yikes. 653 00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:14,040 Speaker 2: She said, I'm really questioning my worth and my value 654 00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:15,880 Speaker 2: because of this breakup, and this is making it even 655 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:17,640 Speaker 2: worse and destroying me. What do I do? 656 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:20,280 Speaker 1: Shall I go first? 657 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:20,960 Speaker 2: Go for it? 658 00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:22,600 Speaker 1: Does this person have a name? 659 00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:23,840 Speaker 2: Christine? 660 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:29,600 Speaker 1: Christine number one. Give yourself some grace and give yourself 661 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:34,560 Speaker 1: some time trying to find answers immediately when anything traumatic 662 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,160 Speaker 1: has happened in your life, whether you've lost somebody, broken up, 663 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:40,160 Speaker 1: whatever it is, lost a job, Trying to find an 664 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:44,680 Speaker 1: answer the next day or that night is impossible. Give 665 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:47,160 Speaker 1: yourself a little time and a little grace. Take a 666 00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:51,800 Speaker 1: deep breath, Go find your happy place, go paddleboarding, go hiking, 667 00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:54,160 Speaker 1: whatever it is that takes you away from things. Read 668 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:57,280 Speaker 1: a book, go go into your defense mechanism for a 669 00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:00,800 Speaker 1: little bit. Do some self care, take care of yourself. 670 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,479 Speaker 1: You need to heal when the shock wears off. I 671 00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:09,000 Speaker 1: do think it's important to look in the mirror and 672 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:12,000 Speaker 1: take some self stock of because it's easy for us 673 00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:15,239 Speaker 1: to say, oh, she did this, he was that. But 674 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:18,440 Speaker 1: I think it's always important that it's it's there's always 675 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:21,600 Speaker 1: it takes two to tango, and so it is important 676 00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,240 Speaker 1: to look in the mirror and where there are things 677 00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:27,480 Speaker 1: that you overlooked, Where the red flags you overlooked, Where 678 00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:29,920 Speaker 1: are there things that you are doing in your life, 679 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:33,200 Speaker 1: or maybe things habits you have or things that are 680 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:35,720 Speaker 1: driving a wedge between you and the people you love. 681 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:38,719 Speaker 1: So I think it is healthy to look inside, but 682 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:44,640 Speaker 1: be careful about those demonstrative statements of you can't keep 683 00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:48,240 Speaker 1: a man. I mean, you know, what did you do? 684 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:52,040 Speaker 1: You know the blame game, and that is quite silly 685 00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:54,440 Speaker 1: to me, and that's very superficial. And I'm sorry you 686 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:56,240 Speaker 1: have people in your life that would say. 687 00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:58,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sorry that your family is saying that, and 688 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:03,800 Speaker 2: I just I'm yes, I'm sorry that your family is 689 00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:07,280 Speaker 2: saying that. And I I think at the end of 690 00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:09,759 Speaker 2: the day, nobody knows what's going on in a relationship 691 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:11,640 Speaker 2: other than the two people who are really in it. 692 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,160 Speaker 2: So important, I think you just need to be really 693 00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:15,960 Speaker 2: if you haven't, you need to be really clear with 694 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,440 Speaker 2: your family and say what you're saying is not helping 695 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:25,400 Speaker 2: me right now. You're saying it too bluntly. It's not productive. 696 00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:29,200 Speaker 2: If you want to really, like have a deep conversation 697 00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:31,520 Speaker 2: with me, I would love that because I have value 698 00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:34,239 Speaker 2: your opinion. But you're actually hurting me. I found with 699 00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:37,600 Speaker 2: my own family, Like, if you say you're hurting me 700 00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,719 Speaker 2: right now, if that family member loves you, they do 701 00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:43,040 Speaker 2: they take a step back real quick, or just say 702 00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:44,080 Speaker 2: they calm down real quick. 703 00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, the way you're saying that I can't keep a man, 704 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,480 Speaker 1: can we have a real conversation of do you think 705 00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:51,920 Speaker 1: there's things in my life that are causing this? 706 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:53,920 Speaker 2: Like feel like that person also needs to have a 707 00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:56,479 Speaker 2: real conversation about why they think it should be whether 708 00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:58,239 Speaker 2: a woman can quote keep a man. 709 00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,440 Speaker 1: And here's the thing too, when people are so demonstrative 710 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:06,640 Speaker 1: and they're so emotional, and it sucks for you because Christine, 711 00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:08,480 Speaker 1: this just happened to you, so you're the one going 712 00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:11,520 Speaker 1: through this, Yet you have to console people. Maybe these 713 00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:13,839 Speaker 1: people really loved the person you were with and they're 714 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:18,080 Speaker 1: just they're upset too, and they're just kind of firing 715 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:21,120 Speaker 1: from the hip because they're emotional about it. It's not fair, 716 00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:24,680 Speaker 1: it's not right. But maybe also give them a minute 717 00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:26,480 Speaker 1: because maybe they're just upset. 718 00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:28,319 Speaker 2: Yeah, you might want to pull back. I mean, look, 719 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:32,160 Speaker 2: sometimes relationships ebb and flow. You don't have to be 720 00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:34,719 Speaker 2: in constant contact with certain family members all the time. 721 00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:36,480 Speaker 2: Sometimes we need a little break from people. 722 00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:40,399 Speaker 1: Let's end on this one. As our wedding approaches It's 723 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:46,759 Speaker 1: a very good question, and that is when did you 724 00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:50,560 Speaker 1: know you were the one? When did you know I 725 00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:52,640 Speaker 1: was the one? Was there a moment? 726 00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:55,880 Speaker 2: Wow? This is a hard question. 727 00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:57,320 Speaker 1: I know it's kind of interesting. 728 00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,160 Speaker 2: Do you know that your answer, I don't. 729 00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,280 Speaker 1: Think there was ever that one flip of the switch 730 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:05,360 Speaker 1: as opposed to a steady assent. 731 00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:08,319 Speaker 2: I was going to say the exact same thing. It's 732 00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:10,279 Speaker 2: hard because I think people want to know what was 733 00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,480 Speaker 2: that moment because everyone hopes for that moment. We all 734 00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:14,160 Speaker 2: hope for that clarity and relationship. 735 00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:15,719 Speaker 1: I mean, I can tell you the moment where I 736 00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,720 Speaker 1: thought I if I go back to that spark plug moment, 737 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:21,239 Speaker 1: but I still wouldn't have if you had stopped me 738 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,920 Speaker 1: and interviewed me in a reality TV moment of in 739 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:26,920 Speaker 1: the moment interview, I wouldn't have said I'm probably gonna 740 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:27,400 Speaker 1: marry her. 741 00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:28,360 Speaker 2: Oh wait, which moment? 742 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,040 Speaker 1: Uh? In the parking lot after our first. 743 00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:35,160 Speaker 2: Date, what when I kissed you? Yes, you knew from 744 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:35,880 Speaker 2: the kiss. 745 00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:39,600 Speaker 1: It wasn't the kiss. It was the conversation we had 746 00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,440 Speaker 1: had for probably two hours leading up to that, and 747 00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:45,640 Speaker 1: then the brief conversation we had in the parking lot 748 00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:49,080 Speaker 1: that led to the first kiss where I'm like, Okay, 749 00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:52,800 Speaker 1: she's different. She's different than anyone I've ever dated before. 750 00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:54,040 Speaker 2: What did we say that conversation? 751 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:55,719 Speaker 1: We just had a conversation if we were going to 752 00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:56,120 Speaker 1: do this. 753 00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:59,399 Speaker 2: Oh and did go out again? 754 00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:02,200 Speaker 1: Yeah? Not have sex. We did not have sex. I 755 00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:03,719 Speaker 1: don't know if you remember we did not want sex 756 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:04,319 Speaker 1: our first date. 757 00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:04,919 Speaker 2: No, we didn't. 758 00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:07,120 Speaker 1: And by the way, we drove separately and went home separately, 759 00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:07,759 Speaker 1: Yes we did. 760 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:09,920 Speaker 2: And I do recommend that, Actually. 761 00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:10,480 Speaker 1: Yes, I do too. 762 00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:12,760 Speaker 2: I think when you bring up I'm not a like, listen, 763 00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:15,920 Speaker 2: I'm not like, wait for this or you have to 764 00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:17,560 Speaker 2: wait a long time. But I don't think sex on 765 00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:19,040 Speaker 2: the first date is a good idea. I think you 766 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:23,040 Speaker 2: get physical too quickly and it sort of over states 767 00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:23,640 Speaker 2: the connection, you. 768 00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:27,719 Speaker 1: Know, what, I think is fun and great texting afterwards 769 00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:31,000 Speaker 1: or calling them afterwards, being excited of what you may 770 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,800 Speaker 1: have just discovered, like all that stuff. 771 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,919 Speaker 2: So I do think there were things on our first date, 772 00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:40,920 Speaker 2: for sure, that made me new I was potentially very 773 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:44,560 Speaker 2: interested in you, like, and it was sort of simple 774 00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:46,640 Speaker 2: things like the fact that when we got home we 775 00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:48,560 Speaker 2: drove separately. You texted me and asked if I was 776 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:51,040 Speaker 2: you got home okay, and you right away said like, 777 00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:54,000 Speaker 2: I want to see you again. I thought, I thought, oh, 778 00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,840 Speaker 2: this guy's different, Like this is a man, like he 779 00:37:56,960 --> 00:38:00,520 Speaker 2: is making it clear what he wants. He isn't playing games. 780 00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:05,080 Speaker 2: I mean, some games are fun. And also, as you 781 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:08,080 Speaker 2: just mentioned everybody, I went in for the kiss. I 782 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:10,840 Speaker 2: went and kissed Chris Harrison. One of the questions we 783 00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:14,200 Speaker 2: had earlier was you know, how how do you know 784 00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:16,880 Speaker 2: when there are sparks? I wanted to find out. I 785 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:19,360 Speaker 2: really liked the conversation, and I thought, I'm going to 786 00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:22,600 Speaker 2: kiss him because A you don't always have to wait 787 00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,360 Speaker 2: for the kiss. First of all, when you go in 788 00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,560 Speaker 2: for the kiss as the woman, then that kind of 789 00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:29,239 Speaker 2: puts the control in your hands, which I like, I'm 790 00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,440 Speaker 2: like a big shoot your shot and own your situation. 791 00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:33,680 Speaker 1: It's sexy as hell, by the way, thank you. 792 00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:36,839 Speaker 2: And then I just wanted to see Okay. I feel 793 00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:38,480 Speaker 2: like I had good conversation, But do I have a 794 00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:43,240 Speaker 2: physical connection. I think, especially because we had done interviews 795 00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:47,040 Speaker 2: for years and I had never felt that attraction in interviews. 796 00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:49,800 Speaker 2: I thought, I've got to like take this next physical 797 00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:50,720 Speaker 2: step to see see. 798 00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:52,600 Speaker 1: This kiss gonna feel like one of our long interviews 799 00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:54,440 Speaker 1: or is there going to be a spark here? 800 00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, like did we just do a long interview in 801 00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,719 Speaker 2: this date and was it a date or was in 802 00:38:58,800 --> 00:38:59,240 Speaker 2: an interview? 803 00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:01,680 Speaker 1: I don't know, Eli, it felt different, yes. 804 00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:05,160 Speaker 2: But I agree with you that it was such a 805 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:10,840 Speaker 2: steady progression. I think honestly, I think I don't have 806 00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:13,359 Speaker 2: a time point when it happened, but I know the 807 00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:16,719 Speaker 2: reason in large part that I knew you were the one, 808 00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:20,080 Speaker 2: I mean, all of your qualities, But a huge part 809 00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:22,280 Speaker 2: of it has been that our relationship has always been easy, 810 00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:27,000 Speaker 2: that that natural, steady progression did happen Like this whole 811 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:31,719 Speaker 2: time that we've been together, We've never questioned. We've never 812 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:35,000 Speaker 2: ever questioned like should we break up? Is this going right? 813 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:37,680 Speaker 2: I've never questioned is this guy the right guy? 814 00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:40,200 Speaker 1: It hasn't been a roller coaster ride where either one 815 00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:42,160 Speaker 1: of us have had to be like, well, she's not this, 816 00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:45,080 Speaker 1: but she's this red flats. 817 00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,080 Speaker 2: So I think that that the fact that there's never 818 00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:49,319 Speaker 2: been questions like that. 819 00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:53,000 Speaker 1: And that's not to say we don't fight. It's not 820 00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:57,720 Speaker 1: to say we don't disagree, Lauren does. There's many times 821 00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:02,239 Speaker 1: I've been wrong, but I appreciate that, and I think 822 00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:07,840 Speaker 1: we both agree. Thank you so much for your questions, Elsie, 823 00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:10,719 Speaker 1: think you for your answers. Love hearing from everybody, and 824 00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:13,120 Speaker 1: I love where these questions have gone. You can tell 825 00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:16,280 Speaker 1: they've definitely turned and gotten a little bit more serious 826 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:18,200 Speaker 1: and a little bit more personal as we've gone along. 827 00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:21,440 Speaker 2: Heck, yes, and we love hearing from you all always. 828 00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,120 Speaker 2: I feel thy selfishly like it because these questions kind 829 00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,759 Speaker 2: of make me reflect on our relationship as well, and 830 00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:30,719 Speaker 2: we can't wait to get married and share all that 831 00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:31,480 Speaker 2: with you guys too. 832 00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:35,040 Speaker 1: And look as I read through some of these questions, 833 00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:38,120 Speaker 1: a lot of them, many of them come from traumatic 834 00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:42,440 Speaker 1: moments and breakups and pain. And just know that we 835 00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:46,319 Speaker 1: love you, we feel you, we can all relate to it. 836 00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:48,640 Speaker 1: That's what makes listening to this podcast and doing this 837 00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:52,719 Speaker 1: podcast so helpful. You're not alone, and just know that 838 00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:55,160 Speaker 1: you are loved and whatever you're going through, this too 839 00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:57,880 Speaker 1: shall pass. You will get through it and we are 840 00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:02,360 Speaker 1: right there with you. And take care of yourself. Take 841 00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,840 Speaker 1: care of yourself. And if you know someone is hurting, 842 00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,760 Speaker 1: reach out to them. As Lauren just said, your words 843 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,759 Speaker 1: have power and they have meaning, so use them. And 844 00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:16,359 Speaker 1: choose them carefully. Love you all, Thank you so much, 845 00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:18,200 Speaker 1: and we'll talk to you again next time because we 846 00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:21,320 Speaker 1: have a lot more to talk about. Thanks for listening. 847 00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:24,120 Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at the most Dramatic Pod Ever, 848 00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:26,319 Speaker 1: and make sure to write us a review and leave 849 00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:28,799 Speaker 1: us five stars. I'll talk to you next time.