Speaker 1: Are you leaving on? You want your way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how
Speaker 2: much baggage you claim and give us time and a
Speaker 2: termino and gay.
Speaker 3: We want to send you off inside. You want to
Speaker 3: welcome you back home.
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine?
Speaker 1: Mal porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need
Speaker 1: to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need
Speaker 1: to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need ride?
Speaker 4: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 4: This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: And this is Karl Gareff.
Speaker 4: Right now, currently getting in the car is Patrick Keane.
Speaker 5: Hello, hey guys, good to see you. Karen. You're so funny.
Speaker 5: I love everything about you here.
Speaker 1: That's a really good start. That's a really strong start
Speaker 1: for this podcast.
Speaker 5: I like it.
Speaker 6: Patrick, you were it just seems like you were just
Speaker 6: walking along the street here. I'm so glad we were recording.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I just you know, this is Seventh Street. I
Speaker 5: like to I like to stroll down here, closer to downtown.
Speaker 6: It's funny because we're about to do a show here
Speaker 6: at the Monty, this Drunken Story show.
Speaker 4: Do you want to get on it. We could call
Speaker 4: the guy we have connections.
Speaker 5: No, I'm I'm gonna do Is that what you're saying this,
Speaker 5: I'm going to do the show.
Speaker 6: Well, that wonderful coincident that explains why you were walking
Speaker 6: along the street. I thought that you hadn't gone gone
Speaker 6: back to your jigglow work.
Speaker 5: You know. Paramore is a term I like to use.
Speaker 1: Its romantic.
Speaker 4: Yeah, would I've never heard that word paramore.
Speaker 5: It's just I think it's just jigglo. I really think literally,
Speaker 5: that's maybe.
Speaker 6: I've never heard of the word because I'm not in
Speaker 6: the business myself.
Speaker 5: Oh, that's right, that's right. How are you are we?
Speaker 5: I never know downtown quadrants? Are we going southwest?
Speaker 4: Right now? We are? Currently? I would say southeast?
Speaker 5: Okay? Nice dude, how are you? It's good. I had
Speaker 5: a blast with you in Montana.
Speaker 6: Oh, let's hear about it, Karen Uh, Patrick and I
Speaker 6: went to Montana together, not together, separate flights, but uh,
Speaker 6: same hotel, same comedy.
Speaker 4: It was a contest, yeah.
Speaker 1: The Big Sky.
Speaker 4: Yes, and we had fun.
Speaker 6: There's no one funnier in a van full of comics
Speaker 6: than Patrick King.
Speaker 4: Oh really, yeah, I.
Speaker 6: Think everyone really like It's funny when there's a certain
Speaker 6: situations where you just have to be funny all. It
Speaker 6: doesn't matter the kind of comic you are, the kind
Speaker 6: of writer, the kind of material you are, what your
Speaker 6: headshots look like. And Patrick Keane is the winner when.
Speaker 1: It comes to He brings it every time.
Speaker 6: We were laughing so hard, just tag team and like
Speaker 6: a comedy duo.
Speaker 5: Well hey, you know, likewise you're fantastic. I think with
Speaker 5: those festivals it's tough in competitions because they only get
Speaker 5: to see you once. So it's like whatever works immediately,
Speaker 5: you know, isn't always the funniest stuff that resonates. If
Speaker 5: you've got stuff that resonates, that's not going to work
Speaker 5: in a festival, right, stuff you have to think about.
Speaker 6: And you have to keep in mind that you're in
Speaker 6: rural well all of Montana is rural, it being the
Speaker 6: fourth largest state with less than a million people.
Speaker 4: Go ahead and check that. You want to not do big.
Speaker 6: City material, which Patrick and I both we have very
Speaker 6: metropolitan jokes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're very your high falutine is what I would
Speaker 1: call you. Mediums top hat comics, yeah.
Speaker 4: Calls, Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 7: And so we have both the mister peanuts of stand
Speaker 7: up comedy is what I.
Speaker 6: Think of when I think, uh, monocle wearing sandwich tycoons.
Speaker 5: It is tough in those markets, it is, and which
Speaker 5: is most of.
Speaker 4: Those just because you're not dumbing it down. I'm not
Speaker 4: saying they're dumb.
Speaker 5: No, because like when I started doing the road, I
Speaker 5: started doing comedy in LA which isn't the best place
Speaker 5: to start, like the Marines, you know, but.
Speaker 4: It's the best place to end it. I'm discovering.
Speaker 5: And then you go to these towns and you're like, oh,
Speaker 5: you're still here, Like you're still at this point in
Speaker 5: evolution and everything, and like stand up comedy, you guys
Speaker 5: don't make fun of it, you know, like the process
Speaker 5: right right, which.
Speaker 4: We're used to right in our circle.
Speaker 1: They still think it's kind of a fascinating wonder.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, they still they still in these markets love Hey,
Speaker 5: who here is married? Who here is single? And it's like,
Speaker 5: are you kidding me?
Speaker 4: And you kind of have to do that.
Speaker 6: And I think Patrick and I both we kind of
Speaker 6: have our act as built around holding a mirror up
Speaker 6: to comedy working. Maybe not as much as someone like
Speaker 6: Andy Kindler or something, but I do like that in
Speaker 6: my act to be like, oh, I'm eating it right now,
Speaker 6: even when I'm not right. But they actually will backfire
Speaker 6: there and they're like, oh, he said he's eating it.
Speaker 4: I guess I'll stop laughing.
Speaker 5: Right, They don't they don't get it recognize, yeah, which
Speaker 5: is so crazy that there's it's almost like we went
Speaker 5: backwards after like what were the nineties for if they
Speaker 5: still don't get.
Speaker 1: I guess just big blousy flannel shirts.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean a lot of good fashion came out
Speaker 4: of it.
Speaker 5: Guy.
Speaker 7: Really, I'm so grateful for the huge holes in my
Speaker 7: knees and jeans that I wore like I was a
Speaker 7: goddamn hobo. Right, So at least that you mean in
Speaker 7: comedy in comedy.
Speaker 5: Sorry no no, But what's funny is like you mentioned
Speaker 5: Killer's Letterman sets are so good, amazing, They're so funny.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's almost like the he needs that last one
Speaker 7: he did. There was a couple jokes that were so rotten,
Speaker 7: but like in that in the way of Andy doing it,
Speaker 7: it's not even about the words anymore.
Speaker 1: It's like very meta. And the thing that was killing.
Speaker 5: Me was.
Speaker 1: Children at play m there's just a family running.
Speaker 6: Just a perfect silhouette and a border town. Yeah, and
Speaker 6: that's on a sign.
Speaker 7: But you could hear Letterman just cackling in the background
Speaker 7: during which you never hear that. To me, that was
Speaker 7: like the most beautiful thing in the world listening to
Speaker 7: Letterman diet.
Speaker 4: And I've said it since I started.
Speaker 6: It was always my goal and comedy at some point
Speaker 6: make David Letterman laugh. And it looks like it's not
Speaker 6: gonna happen unless I just go outside as cabin cabin
Speaker 6: in Showdow, Montana do something. Yeah, yeah, right next door
Speaker 6: to a guy named Bruce Lee. No yeah, no relation,
Speaker 6: an ex ex girlfriend of mine, current wife of Bill
Speaker 6: Hayter who did a little uh documentary about homesteading and
Speaker 6: montane And so we went to Shoto and she interviewed
Speaker 6: Bruce Lee because his grandmother, great grandmother somebody was one
Speaker 6: of these women who moved to Montana and lived off
Speaker 6: the land as a single Was she whaling?
Speaker 5: Is she of white descendants?
Speaker 4: Yes? Yes?
Speaker 6: And it was about the you know, just homesteading, squatting
Speaker 6: on land earning through making it a viable farmland earning it.
Speaker 6: It was an interesting documentary in this guy was part
Speaker 6: of it, and next door to him was Letterman, and
Speaker 6: it was an interesting town because Letterman bought like a
Speaker 6: fancy gymnasium for the high school, and like there was
Speaker 6: buildings there that were beautiful and it was Letterman money.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I hear that he does a ton of anonymous
Speaker 7: charity donations and he just said, nobody knows it's him
Speaker 7: doing it, but he does stuff like that.
Speaker 6: Like you know who else does that? And it won
Speaker 6: me over on them existing is Keanu Reeves? Oh wow,
Speaker 6: apparently it's you know, with anonymously giving huge amounts of money,
Speaker 6: like that last Matrix movie he gave each crew member,
Speaker 6: I think a million dollars. I think it was one million,
Speaker 6: Like he spent seventy five million dollars of his own money.
Speaker 1: Is that Matrix revolutions that tirable?
Speaker 6: Do not know which one because I've never enjoyed. All
Speaker 6: I had to do is during the first one, see
Speaker 6: that part where he goes Oki Doki, and I left
Speaker 6: the theater And then I heard everyone else really liked it.
Speaker 6: How yeah he slow motion dives bullets hit his nose
Speaker 6: Harris and we all loved it.
Speaker 4: But uh, yeah, I heard. I think it's because I've
Speaker 4: watched that movie. And I'm realizing already I've talked too much.
Speaker 4: I've watched that movie when.
Speaker 6: There was a deaf person in the audience, and so
Speaker 6: they had the subtitles at the bottom which were popping
Speaker 6: up moments before the lines were delivered. So the entire
Speaker 6: theater was laughing at Keanu Reeves because at the bottom
Speaker 6: it said Oki doki, and then almost like he was
Speaker 6: reading it, he'd go and we all were laughing very hard.
Speaker 6: But we wouldn't have been laughing if we'd known how
Speaker 6: many children he put little jackets on.
Speaker 1: It, he'd be weeping.
Speaker 7: I was won over by Kenna Reeves recently when I
Speaker 7: heard the story of the second time he's had a
Speaker 7: female stoker break into his house in the middle of
Speaker 7: the night. He came downstairs at four in the morning
Speaker 7: and there was a woman sitting in a chair in
Speaker 7: his living room, just sitting there, and he had to say.
Speaker 4: Okay, excellent.
Speaker 1: She was like I'm in your house.
Speaker 5: And yeah, that is so that's beyond.
Speaker 7: Never stopped screaming, and apparently he was like, okay, I
Speaker 7: have to call the cops now, you know that, and
Speaker 7: she was like yep, and then really chill, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 7: it was all cool about it. He was mister cool.
Speaker 7: I think he might not have the option to be
Speaker 7: any different.
Speaker 4: Because emotionally he's void in that well.
Speaker 7: Or whatever his reasons. I wouldn't want to say what's
Speaker 7: in another man's heart.
Speaker 1: I just know that there's not a lot going on.
Speaker 5: And yes, sir Bob, just two terms.
Speaker 1: Let's just let that speak for it.
Speaker 4: Patrick, why do you love Keanu Reeves?
Speaker 5: Yeah? Well, you know what I don't is Point Break
Speaker 5: a guilty pleasure. It's a likable movie.
Speaker 6: I think everyone agrees that it's filled with action. I
Speaker 6: think a lot of times people are laughing at it,
Speaker 6: but it's.
Speaker 5: A mean Bucy's alive. Swayze is not, which is insane, right,
Speaker 5: that's so crazy, But it's his teeth. Yeah, it's amazing,
Speaker 5: but it's funny what you say about you want to
Speaker 5: make Letterman laugh because for I think a lot of
Speaker 5: comics and maybe other industry and jobs of things I
Speaker 5: don't care about. It's more about like the high points
Speaker 5: aren't maybe being on TV, but a high point is
Speaker 5: like like Andy Killler came up to me once at
Speaker 5: a show at what the whatever? That Holy fuck show Tuesday.
Speaker 5: Afterwards he's like, how come I never heard of you?
Speaker 5: That was great. I'm like, oh my god, that's that's
Speaker 5: bigger than to me. Yeah, you know, getting on a
Speaker 5: show like a gallas an Acus or somebody to you.
Speaker 6: Because that's also like the whole year back in high
Speaker 6: school and you're popular all of a sudden. No matter
Speaker 6: how much we pretend we don't want that, we all
Speaker 6: want that well.
Speaker 7: And also because comics are the only other people that
Speaker 7: know like you do, like what the tricks are, it's
Speaker 7: easy to fall for a comedian, Like the first time
Speaker 7: you go see comedy, or if you're kind of new
Speaker 7: to it, there'll be people that you go like, that
Speaker 7: guy was amazing. But if you've been watching it for
Speaker 7: twenty years, you know every trick in the book, you know,
Speaker 7: all the clap traps and all the bullshit people do.
Speaker 7: So a compliment from someone that knows all that and
Speaker 7: still likes your stuff, yeah, is like really the purest
Speaker 7: you know.
Speaker 6: And that's what we are talking about with the Big
Speaker 6: Skyfest is we watch those people kind of rise to
Speaker 6: the top and they're good comics, but they are doing
Speaker 6: not tricks, but they're.
Speaker 4: Just doing Yeah.
Speaker 5: It's like, don't try that.
Speaker 6: Yeah, we all know why that works. But that's why
Speaker 6: I'm saying. But no one was making everyone laugh.
Speaker 1: From the van, like like, mister Patrick Key, where are
Speaker 1: you from?
Speaker 5: Originally originally toled, Ohio, but I grew up in Orange County, California.
Speaker 5: We moved out when I was a kid.
Speaker 4: Talk about where you went to college and.
Speaker 5: Went to college in Helen. I'm Montana, the capitol.
Speaker 4: Capital of the state.
Speaker 5: I'm from Carol College. That's why I was a little
Speaker 5: disappointing not to go further in that festival too, because
Speaker 5: I'm like, well, I went to college here, I should
Speaker 5: have a jump on people. But it's comedy, you know,
Speaker 5: and it just doesn't have mercy.
Speaker 1: There's no way.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so I went there to play college football. They
Speaker 5: gave me a scholarship.
Speaker 1: Really yeah what position?
Speaker 5: It was a tight end. Uh yeah, So insert joke here.
Speaker 4: On my choice.
Speaker 6: He's asking you to depending on where you're from, if
Speaker 6: you're a power bottom or a leather.
Speaker 4: Daddy or an otnor you do you still you're an athlete?
Speaker 5: Then I stay in shape a little bit as much
Speaker 5: as I can. But I was I think I took
Speaker 5: this body as far as it would go. You know
Speaker 5: what I'm saying. My dad had higher expectations. He was
Speaker 5: a big guy, he was an athlete, and he married
Speaker 5: kind of an art draw like an artsy little girl
Speaker 5: who likes musicals, art, drugs, and so I have some
Speaker 5: of that body, oh right, instead of like, you know,
Speaker 5: elitist whatever German. I don't know.
Speaker 7: Yeah, no, he should head up if he wanted you
Speaker 7: to succeed that you only want a fraction of elitist
Speaker 7: German flowing through you.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, insert joke there. But uh yeah, what happened
Speaker 6: with football?
Speaker 4: Then?
Speaker 5: Well I hurt my knee and I was done with
Speaker 5: it pretty quick, and I tried to rehabilitate for a
Speaker 5: couple of years and work it and work it, and
Speaker 5: it just wasn't like you know, it was still in
Speaker 5: my head that it was injured, and so I wasn't
Speaker 5: going full speed, and I'm like, what am I doing?
Speaker 5: This is like a Division two school. I'm not going
Speaker 5: pro and I'm now two years, i haven't been playing
Speaker 5: in rehabbing and I'm still not sure. And I was like,
Speaker 5: let's wrap this up.
Speaker 6: You know, So you did like Jackson, Bo Jackson, You're
Speaker 6: just gracefully.
Speaker 5: Yeah, just kind of slowly.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think.
Speaker 6: That Bo Jackson fully recovered and then realized he wasn't
Speaker 6: as fast, and he's like, you know what, maybe I'm
Speaker 6: good enough to.
Speaker 5: Pass, but uh yeah, if it can't be full.
Speaker 6: Speed passable, I mean, not good enough to become the quarterback.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, then make a pass at you.
Speaker 5: Well we could do that stuff. But yeah, that's the
Speaker 5: same same thing. I think, Yeah, if you can't do it.
Speaker 1: Full out, so you Bo Jackson from Jackson.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and then uh yeah. And then I always wrote,
Speaker 5: like in college, I wrote, oh, this would be a
Speaker 5: funny scene for a movie. This would be a funny scene.
Speaker 5: This would be a funny scene because I never loved
Speaker 5: like exclusive stand ups. I'd like people like Bill Murray,
Speaker 5: Jean Wilder, you know, stuff like that.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so so LA was kind of the place instead
Speaker 5: of exclusive stand up in New York. And yeah, and
Speaker 5: now you're just trying to bring shape to it, right
Speaker 5: you know, And it's just so chaotic right now. It's
Speaker 5: like what do you want to do, you know, be
Speaker 5: on network television. Do you want to go out on auditions?
Speaker 5: Do you want to just do stand up? Because now
Speaker 5: there's these podcasts, there's VH one shows. There's shows like,
Speaker 5: as an example, a Chelsea Handler show where you're a panelist.
Speaker 5: So there's all these different avenues and so there's no
Speaker 5: right or wrong way to go.
Speaker 4: I think you're doing it right. I'm glad that you
Speaker 4: just got hooked on stand up.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, it's it's fun when it works. It's the
Speaker 5: best in performing in big cities. I just watched I've
Speaker 5: watched three times now. I've watched pepotone special on Netflix,
Speaker 5: and it's like, oh, oh, this is what it's about.
Speaker 5: This is what it's like to enjoy because you just
Speaker 5: see so much manufactured crap and no offense to a
Speaker 5: lot of those guys. But I'm scrolling through their specials
Speaker 5: on Netflix because I'm like, yeah, no, you kind of know.
Speaker 5: And then Pepotones though really bounces. Man.
Speaker 7: Well it's it's it's great, But it's also that it's
Speaker 7: like that kind of thing of any these days.
Speaker 1: It's feels like.
Speaker 7: With the kind of uc beification of comedy of performing
Speaker 7: people that right, that's mine, copyrights, trademark, No, no, no,
Speaker 7: what's mine?
Speaker 1: But everyone's everyone can do it.
Speaker 7: It's it's a thing that isn't this mysterious distant thing anymore.
Speaker 1: So since everyone can do it, it really takes a lot.
Speaker 7: To stand out from the a from not average, because
Speaker 7: there's some great comics writing good material, but having the
Speaker 7: performance performance element, and like with Eddie's thing, it's just
Speaker 7: that electric, you know, it's just really happening right there,
Speaker 7: and he's really talking about. The stuff he's screaming about
Speaker 7: is not a character a bit. He's really afraid of
Speaker 7: the end of civilization. He's really afraid that the world
Speaker 7: is ending, that they we're all going to murder each other.
Speaker 7: The sea is poison, that's all real, and everyone else
Speaker 7: feels the same way. And so to see a guy
Speaker 7: screaming about it like on your behalf, for me, it's
Speaker 7: just a huge relief. It's like, that's what I want
Speaker 7: to do all day long.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, So it's so liberate, Like I would love it.
Speaker 5: If my dad would ever see him, he would love
Speaker 5: you know. He's just like multi generational. And I don't know.
Speaker 5: You try not to be a snob about comedy, but
Speaker 5: it's got to be funny, you know, and it's not
Speaker 5: just hopefully a popularity contest. I think comedy and funny
Speaker 5: have become two different things right now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like popular comedy.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's like, what is this karaoke element?
Speaker 1: Yes, it's a real because it's such a business.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's such a love it if one day there
Speaker 6: was comedy karaoke where you just picked your favorite comic
Speaker 6: and your mouth the words and just sit in a
Speaker 6: chair like Bill Cosby would have done.
Speaker 5: Oh god, well, Odin Kirk just had that interview. Did
Speaker 5: you see that.
Speaker 6: I saw the title of it, and I didn't want
Speaker 6: to get bummed out because I didn't I don't want
Speaker 6: someone to tell me to quit doing comedy.
Speaker 4: And here's some grim side of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Would he say, it's just it's titled. I think it's
Speaker 5: titled differently. It's titled like get out of Comedy because
Speaker 5: it's about to crumble or something like that. But really
Speaker 5: it's just it's more about it's just in a different direction,
Speaker 5: I think, and like for me and and I don't know,
Speaker 5: maybe a lot of comics feel that, like you'll get
Speaker 5: fun of your stuff out of a breaking bad you
Speaker 5: know or show, then you will out of it.
Speaker 6: He's saying, don't do stand up anymore, get a starring
Speaker 6: role in a MC drama.
Speaker 5: Well that's part of it. If you can't, you know, why.
Speaker 6: Not just sell on your sell of your I never
Speaker 6: thought that I should just get a lead, just.
Speaker 1: Be highly successful. That's better than comedy. Okay, sounds good.
Speaker 4: They noted, that's a good plan. I got to pick
Speaker 4: up the phone.
Speaker 5: But there's uh, I mean, I don't know. I think
Speaker 5: a lot of comedy people don't necessarily watch comedies. I I,
Speaker 5: for one, watch a lot more movies. Yeah, you know
Speaker 5: than I do straight stand up. And part of it
Speaker 5: might be jealousy about you know, your own career.
Speaker 7: Yes, absolutely, but well and also, don't do you ever
Speaker 7: have that thing like I feel like I watch less
Speaker 7: stand up because I don't want to get I don't
Speaker 7: want to later on write a bit that I think
Speaker 7: is amazing and it just turns out to be someone
Speaker 7: else's right.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that I've watched that's yeah.
Speaker 1: I've definitely done that before.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And you don't want to trust one of those
Speaker 5: people that watch too much stand up where it's like, dude,
Speaker 5: you're kind of weirding me out, like you like this
Speaker 5: too much?
Speaker 1: Yeah, the experts, that's the big.
Speaker 6: So many names that are in my head right now.
Speaker 6: We don't have that kind of podcast where we talk SMAC,
Speaker 6: but it really is some of my good friends. It's
Speaker 6: just oh, you study this, yeah, and do it. That's
Speaker 6: you can't be both. You can't be a fan and
Speaker 6: do it well.
Speaker 1: Also, just a lot of people can't do it like it.
Speaker 7: I mean, there's a difference between doing it and then
Speaker 7: actually being good at it or worth watching. Yeah, And
Speaker 7: I think that's the difference is a lot of people
Speaker 7: kind of don't well, we don't have to think about
Speaker 7: that part.
Speaker 1: You just do what you're trying to do.
Speaker 7: But at the end of the day, I think there's
Speaker 7: only like, if there's one hundred percent of comics, twenty
Speaker 7: percent are actually really good, yeah, and eighty percent are
Speaker 7: the other people.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that's generous.
Speaker 5: Yeah. And the clubs. So you go around the country
Speaker 5: and these clubs push their locals and it's like, Okay,
Speaker 5: they're okay for this market, but don't you know I
Speaker 5: wouldn't move to LA just yet.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're gonna get eaten alive.
Speaker 6: Yeah, something's gonna happen. You're gonna get a parking ticket. Really,
Speaker 6: that's what getting eaten alive here is parking in.
Speaker 5: A red Oh, the anxiety you get in this town
Speaker 5: from parking, like you'll wake up on the road and like,
Speaker 5: where's my car right now? Like where is it? Yeah,
Speaker 5: you know you're gone for a week or two.
Speaker 4: You're already in the fetal position.
Speaker 6: Then you look across the street and be like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 6: I did take that second spot.
Speaker 4: Oh no, one my neighbors saw me crying.
Speaker 7: I was driving on some bald wheels for a while.
Speaker 7: My tires were you could literally see the threading underneath
Speaker 7: the rubber they had split.
Speaker 4: I was doing that three podcasts ago in our studio.
Speaker 7: And it's a I just didn't realize how much I
Speaker 7: drive until my life was on the line every time
Speaker 7: I got into my car, and.
Speaker 1: It was like, oh, this is a this is a
Speaker 1: lot of anxiety.
Speaker 6: Well right now we're rolling smoothly, and I think that
Speaker 6: you can all you all attest to the fact that
Speaker 6: there isn't a lot of noise coming from these beautiful
Speaker 6: UH Como tires. You got Como Kumo Komo, So do
Speaker 6: you need a ride? Brought to you by kum You
Speaker 6: should have learned it before we recorded this. UH also
Speaker 6: by Lyft and Uber. We're sponsored back to the program.
Speaker 5: Those are very great Lyft and.
Speaker 4: Uber to get both of them, we were very happy.
Speaker 5: They It's funny people try to fight. It's like, what
Speaker 5: are you fighting. You're fighting progress, You're fighting something that
Speaker 5: everybody likes. You're like, that's so anti.
Speaker 6: You're talking about taxi drivers, right, Yeah, who doesn't like
Speaker 6: Lyft and Uber except for h taxi drivers?
Speaker 1: Well, they really had.
Speaker 7: Taxi drivers had a lot of power for a long time,
Speaker 7: and it's good that they got it taken away.
Speaker 6: Yeah, time to get knocked down a peg like Pig
Speaker 6: Steinfeld from DC CAP.
Speaker 5: If the only one here wants to be a cab driver,
Speaker 5: that's right. That was an amazing cast.
Speaker 1: I watched that.
Speaker 7: Remember when Nickelodeon used to be a movie channel when
Speaker 7: cable first came out.
Speaker 6: No really, yeah, I just remember it being you can't
Speaker 6: do that on television and that's.
Speaker 1: It in the very early days.
Speaker 7: I believe I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure
Speaker 7: it was a movie channel and it was.
Speaker 1: Always Silver Streak.
Speaker 7: It was always the wilder prior movies and DC Cab.
Speaker 1: I think watched DC Cab twenty times when I was
Speaker 1: a kid.
Speaker 6: Well there, I can't remember where it was, but there
Speaker 6: was a network it's tough to be a baby.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 1: I got to rewatch that now.
Speaker 6: Not to be confused with p Rod his son, who
Speaker 6: is a professional skateboarder with his own Nike shoe, earns
Speaker 6: more money than p rod sor earned.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Wow, just a little side note for you guys. If
Speaker 6: you get if you get a shoe as a border
Speaker 6: you you have many cars and houses.
Speaker 5: So I should have brought I was just in Jackson Hall.
Speaker 5: I should have brought you a ski DVD. My my
Speaker 5: brother in law works. He produces films, Titan Gravity Research.
Speaker 5: They do these ski films.
Speaker 4: I know that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Really, don't tell Chris about Titon Gravity Not.
Speaker 4: Get off my assane. Really that's yeah.
Speaker 5: I had because I have an extra copy. Gave me
Speaker 5: a couple of copies, and I gave one to Leah,
Speaker 5: the girl we were with in Montana, and then I
Speaker 5: was gonna give one to whoever else and I didn't
Speaker 5: even think to bring it.
Speaker 4: But uh, well, where's your house, let's go.
Speaker 5: It's on the west so that's where I live.
Speaker 4: But her neighbors we should hang out more.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we should. It's the west Side's a weird thing.
Speaker 5: If you're not you know, like because it's just it's
Speaker 5: kind of far away from Hollywood in the valley and
Speaker 5: a lot of gigs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's far away from everything.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's very isolated.
Speaker 4: It is.
Speaker 7: But then you get to wear a lot of seersucker suits,
Speaker 7: m h and walk barefoot everywhere.
Speaker 1: Right, I mean, so their benefit, I go.
Speaker 6: More Southern play, right, But yeah, either way, you're wearing
Speaker 6: a free flowing suit, straw.
Speaker 1: Hat, you're drunk on gin, just the important stuff.
Speaker 5: Do this? Well? They the tax cab drivers, they always
Speaker 5: claim I don't have a credit card, or you can't
Speaker 5: I can't take that. It's like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 4: Trying to say that?
Speaker 6: Now I'm going to pay you with my phone using
Speaker 6: a satellite.
Speaker 1: Yeah, welcome to twenty fourteen.
Speaker 4: We're not giving you a tip. Can be an anonymous situation,
Speaker 4: take it.
Speaker 7: I like the cab drivers used to because la is
Speaker 7: such a bad place for cab drivers.
Speaker 1: But they also.
Speaker 4: Anyone to McDonald's.
Speaker 1: Sorry none for me.
Speaker 4: I didn't mean to interrupt.
Speaker 1: No, that's okay. Well I was just gonna say.
Speaker 7: They never they always need you to tell them directions. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 7: like they're like, well where is that? It's like, but you're.
Speaker 5: A cab, right, You're literally offering no service, right except
Speaker 5: for the driving part.
Speaker 4: But come on.
Speaker 5: So, yeah, it's in a city like La uber is
Speaker 5: just conquering.
Speaker 4: But I did. Do you like on the West side.
Speaker 5: You know here and there?
Speaker 4: Like I like waking up there. Yeah, the ocean's.
Speaker 5: There, people are happy. Nobody works. I don't think everybody's
Speaker 5: in flip flops.
Speaker 4: They're all independently, well they wear in flip flops.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And it's just I feel like I should be
Speaker 5: working hard. Like I'm like, I don't deserve this. I
Speaker 5: haven't worked hard enough. I haven't achieved like these people.
Speaker 5: Well not that they have either.
Speaker 4: But you don't have flip flops.
Speaker 5: I don't. I have some rainbows flops.
Speaker 1: Yeah, in a male pedicure.
Speaker 5: It is great. It keeps you healthy because you're just like, wow,
Speaker 5: I have to compete. I mean, people are so healthy
Speaker 5: out here. Yeah, or you drown. But I've lived in
Speaker 5: Los Follies for years. I love that part of town.
Speaker 5: That's my kind of my favorite.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it would be nice and convenient.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Do you like where you live, Karen?
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 4: I used to live beautiful neighborhood.
Speaker 5: She lives in an actual neighborhood, Oh, real civilian live.
Speaker 7: I live in Burbank where everyone's grandma lives and it's great.
Speaker 7: And I used to live in Silver Lake by Les
Speaker 7: Filis and I moved there because I thought it would
Speaker 7: be cool and hip and those helicopters. Every night there
Speaker 7: was helicopters and the light in my backyard and it
Speaker 7: made me crazy. I was so paranoid and scared all
Speaker 7: the time. It was just, it's such a I just
Speaker 7: really prefer the valley.
Speaker 5: Yeah. No, And you can hit Hollywood for shows or
Speaker 5: whatever meetings like it's nothing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're in a very convenient place. Although I really
Speaker 4: you're in a good place.
Speaker 1: I'm in a good place.
Speaker 4: I'm talking spiritually.
Speaker 7: But I do like the West Side Wesside for the
Speaker 7: positive ions.
Speaker 4: Oh come on, it.
Speaker 6: Might be her last bad decision, but there's clearly been
Speaker 6: many before that, wandering in the street haphazardly.
Speaker 4: Also, could she have looked more like mister Magoo?
Speaker 1: She looks like a Chinese ghost chese ghost specifics.
Speaker 4: Oh, the racial specifics specific. It's the neighborhood for it.
Speaker 4: James James Woods.
Speaker 6: Boulevard, named after the popular Their Asshole actor I saw
Speaker 6: him on nine to eleven.
Speaker 5: Did you you saw him in a bookstore on nine
Speaker 5: to eleven in Beverly Hills. It was crazy. Wow, it
Speaker 5: was the weirdest set of circumstances.
Speaker 6: Where you like, oh, this is this is someday to
Speaker 6: be reading you callous.
Speaker 5: Son of it.
Speaker 1: But he's looking at a book of how to handle
Speaker 1: Huge Ship.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but Patrick was just looking at a magazine. His
Speaker 6: heart was still on the.
Speaker 5: Right, still on incident.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the end of the day.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was. It was crazy.
Speaker 4: Hey, let's dive in, let's talk about Yeah, let's.
Speaker 1: Get in there.
Speaker 5: And then he would eventually I think, play Juliani in something,
Speaker 5: and I was like, oh, this is weird he's playing.
Speaker 5: That's funny thing, that's really relatable.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's funny that I know that you didn't care
Speaker 4: about that day. You were. You were elbows deep in
Speaker 4: a Tale of My Two Cities.
Speaker 8: On My Two Cities still, the combination of the classic
Speaker 8: novel and the TV show My Two Dads.
Speaker 5: There was hot. She would later go on to be
Speaker 5: in that show with Chrissy from Three's Company. Step by Step. Oh,
Speaker 5: Patrick Duffy.
Speaker 4: Didn't talk about step by Step the.
Speaker 1: Other day we can figure out which one it was.
Speaker 6: Yeah, we just went straight to seventh Heaven.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, that's a guy.
Speaker 6: Yeah he's getting off apparently off put the insert joke.
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, apparently statute of limitations.
Speaker 5: He was in the first Star Wars movie. Did you
Speaker 5: know that? It was kind of a flop. Really, it
Speaker 5: didn't go well.
Speaker 4: He was called r O you eight one two or something?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 4: Didn't it have some it was? Wasn't it his like
Speaker 4: student film?
Speaker 5: Oh well, they made Wrath of Kahan was a sequel
Speaker 5: and was fantastic Star Wars.
Speaker 8: I'm like someone's grandpa, except I haven't even so I'm
Speaker 8: like older than a grandpa if I confused.
Speaker 4: Star Trek.
Speaker 7: The TX movie that George Lucas made where they were
Speaker 7: just in the white void y.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's what I saw that when.
Speaker 1: I was like seven. Yeah it was.
Speaker 7: It was on TV one night and I was alone
Speaker 7: in the TV room and I.
Speaker 1: Had a serious, serious breakdown.
Speaker 5: Yeah, dude, that's seven. You shouldn't even see that at seventeen.
Speaker 1: No, it was pretty cools a lot.
Speaker 5: Who knows what that?
Speaker 7: And Duel, the movie where the guy's being chased by
Speaker 7: the truck. Me and my uncle Steve watched Duel one
Speaker 7: day and I was probably six, and I was just like,
Speaker 7: and we there was just no way I was going
Speaker 7: to ask to turn the channel. This was in the seventies,
Speaker 7: when adults did whatever the fuck they wanted and kids
Speaker 7: had no say in anything.
Speaker 1: Oh God, And so yeah, I.
Speaker 7: Got exposed to a lot of great filmmakers at the
Speaker 7: early age.
Speaker 5: I can't believe in the peak time.
Speaker 6: One of the cassette VHS tapes that we had in
Speaker 6: my movie collection when I was a kid was Clockwork Orange,
Speaker 6: and I watched it at a very young age.
Speaker 5: Did you really?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 6: And the but And at the time I knew I
Speaker 6: shouldn't be watching this, and I would turn it off
Speaker 6: after one of the many there's like rape scenes. Yeah,
Speaker 6: And I was watching that as a kid, and I'm like, well,
Speaker 6: that girl's naked, but I really don't like what's I
Speaker 6: I think it was good that I saw it because
Speaker 6: it made me realize right away that even even if
Speaker 6: the law isn't telling me, rape is probably bad.
Speaker 4: Yes, along with it.
Speaker 6: That you can Yeah, it's true though, given myself that credit.
Speaker 6: But the kids these days, I mean, I'm sure my
Speaker 6: nephew is seen unspeakable porn. I always think about that.
Speaker 6: It's right there at his fingertips. Yeah, he's always on
Speaker 6: the computer. You've always seen like.
Speaker 1: Don't they have blocks or parentals?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm sure my sister's on that. I don't mean to.
Speaker 4: I wonder if I apologize.
Speaker 6: I know my sisters, she would, she would make sure
Speaker 6: he doesn't see that stuff.
Speaker 4: I mean, I mean, I had.
Speaker 6: Meg from a Spiegel catalog, a page of bras, just
Speaker 6: pictures of.
Speaker 5: Bras, Victoria's than a playboy.
Speaker 6: As a kid, I've had that folded up and my
Speaker 6: underwear drawer in an envelope taped to the roof of
Speaker 6: my underwear. And when my parents left the house and
Speaker 6: I knew they're at least a mile away, I would
Speaker 6: pull that out and look at it and and well,
Speaker 6: I'm not going to go into detail after that, but
Speaker 6: I found myself as a man Karen.
Speaker 4: Business, I walked in on myself. There's a mirror, full
Speaker 4: length mirror.
Speaker 1: Oh god, but yours was Victoria's secrets.
Speaker 5: To this day, I like a little bit of a
Speaker 5: little bit to be desired, you know, a little hidden Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 5: lingerie and wholesome.
Speaker 7: I've seen some things on Tumblr that I'll never be
Speaker 7: able to unsee because it all gets mixed together, like
Speaker 7: you're following someone's tumbler because you're like, oh, look they
Speaker 7: like stripes or they you know, they like whatever, and
Speaker 7: then suddenly some insane porn gift comes up where you're.
Speaker 1: Like, oh God, is this child like that? It's so upsetting.
Speaker 6: Why is that lady having sex with a dragon? Because
Speaker 6: that's computer animated some of it just as upsetting.
Speaker 5: What her name was hot Jessica from Roger Rabbit.
Speaker 6: Oh you used to be a bit of a man.
Speaker 4: Oh I see.
Speaker 5: It's clear now, yeah, animated tang. It's just the words.
Speaker 4: Color me not surprised, animated Tang.
Speaker 7: I like the idea that you you said that, like
Speaker 7: you know who I was into, Like she wasn't specifically
Speaker 7: drawn to be the hottest thing on the planet.
Speaker 1: You know, this is going to surprise everybody.
Speaker 4: My little niche.
Speaker 5: I really have a crush on scar that ms turns out.
Speaker 6: I like cartoonish tits an ass and little nothing to say.
Speaker 5: Smurfet was cute too, because her voice was kind of
Speaker 5: worn out. I like that like that Bonnie Tyler, Yes,
Speaker 5: she was haggard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she was a haggard smart.
Speaker 6: Oh god, imagine just getting knocked around though by all
Speaker 6: just a village of dudes.
Speaker 8: Ninety nine other Smurfs, Smurf alwayste it, my name's Brainy.
Speaker 4: Oh shut up. And then they kick him and then
Speaker 4: she just and then there's well, that's.
Speaker 5: A whole communist thing because Brainy was nobody liked him
Speaker 5: because he was the intellectual, and you know, they were
Speaker 5: all like Handy Smurf was seen as the hero. Oh wow,
Speaker 5: it's a whole villain. They alter look the same that
Speaker 5: Papa Smurf has the only colored hat.
Speaker 4: Wow. Did you just back this up?
Speaker 5: No, I've I studied it for a while. I mean,
Speaker 5: not studied it, but just kind of observed it. After
Speaker 5: you got out of football, right right after movie.
Speaker 4: Oh you two at Carol College took Smurf.
Speaker 5: Of course, I tried to watch the Smurf movie on
Speaker 5: Blu Ray, and I couldn't see a thing. You guys,
Speaker 5: I like it.
Speaker 7: See he just says that stuff, Karen, he just has
Speaker 7: it in his back pocket.
Speaker 5: You need to have these guys.
Speaker 4: These.
Speaker 6: I think that it's obvious that I'm kind of lost,
Speaker 6: But I do think that if I turn left here
Speaker 6: we will be headed to the Monty.
Speaker 1: I don't I think we're below that?
Speaker 7: Now?
Speaker 1: Are we get back up to seven? Oh?
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm my apologies.
Speaker 5: No, La is so spread out, it's like three different cities.
Speaker 5: It's just amazing.
Speaker 4: We are.
Speaker 6: We're headed to do a Drunken Tales show. Yes, are
Speaker 6: you going to do stand up?
Speaker 4: Patrick? A? Are you gonna?
Speaker 5: I might open with some stand up, but I do
Speaker 5: want to stay on theme.
Speaker 4: That's what I was going to do.
Speaker 5: But I have got a story and I like stories
Speaker 5: read and not performed.
Speaker 4: So you wrote something out?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I have something that i'll no.
Speaker 4: I love.
Speaker 6: Have you been to the show yet, Karen, No, I've
Speaker 6: been to a show at that bar, but not.
Speaker 4: The same Watching Mike do and he does that. He
Speaker 4: writes it out. He's a great writer.
Speaker 6: And the way he delivers it and he's just reading it.
Speaker 6: It's it's interesting to see that compared to his stand up,
Speaker 6: or compared to anyone doing stand up.
Speaker 4: So I'm excited to watch you do that. Oh yeah,
Speaker 4: that's great.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it is fun see someone in a different light.
Speaker 6: And no good, don't worry. He doesn't provide a light.
Speaker 6: It's just dimly.
Speaker 4: I don't know. Maybe he got spot there's me rash.
Speaker 1: A little move.
Speaker 4: That's a full move.
Speaker 1: Are you going to be wearing readers down near the
Speaker 1: end of your nose?
Speaker 5: Well, they will be, yeah, they will be down there. Okay,
Speaker 5: pitch down there, but I'll be not looking through them
Speaker 5: obviously out.
Speaker 4: Over the top aesthetic readers.
Speaker 5: Great, so it's that great starting.
Speaker 6: Cool That biker was doing that thing where he's not
Speaker 6: going forward or backwards and not tipping over.
Speaker 4: Get it out of here.
Speaker 5: The artist. By the way, Chris, I've seen some of
Speaker 5: your stuff.
Speaker 1: Isn't good.
Speaker 6: It's so great, you know, thanks, thanks you guys, guys, guys, thanks.
Speaker 6: My brakes are wearing out. Is anyone noticing that? I
Speaker 6: think it's metal on metal at this point.
Speaker 5: I mean, do people think we're insane when they look
Speaker 5: into the car and they see three microphones?
Speaker 4: Always?
Speaker 6: Well, speaking of bikes, what did what happened? Some guy
Speaker 6: tried to knock off Karen's uh oh.
Speaker 7: We yelled stuff out the window at him. I did,
Speaker 7: but it was it was for fun.
Speaker 4: Because he was we get it.
Speaker 1: He was.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it was just a joke of like you've got
Speaker 7: a fixed gear by school you're so cool, but this
Speaker 7: man was actually a totally insane Yeah, and we only
Speaker 7: realized that after we started yelling at him and he
Speaker 7: looped back around and then swung his bike lock and tried.
Speaker 6: To hit almost got hit by cars in traffic, like
Speaker 6: he almost so he.
Speaker 5: Was willing to do that offwards. Yes, oh yeah, silly words,
Speaker 5: not even threading.
Speaker 6: We saw that, and then we saw after we calmed down,
Speaker 6: we saw a horrible fistfight at a bus stop and
Speaker 6: some guy got knocked out. That was a Here I
Speaker 6: am again talking about past episodes. That must be insulting it.
Speaker 7: Those were our two most upsetting but maybe we can
Speaker 7: get a new one today.
Speaker 6: All I'm saying, Patrick is, come on, we could use
Speaker 6: another podcast.
Speaker 4: Fight next set up, roll down the window.
Speaker 5: We can do it.
Speaker 4: Karen say one of your racist things.
Speaker 1: God damn Philippinos.
Speaker 6: So yeah, just the correct pronunciation of where you're from
Speaker 6: and where you're Laoetian.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, I'm insensitive.
Speaker 5: And it's funny. The Asian community is one. This comedian
Speaker 5: Robert Tran has a great joke where he talks about
Speaker 5: Asians are the one race people are racist towards in
Speaker 5: front of them and they don't even mind, Like they
Speaker 5: don't mind being racist to Asians right in front of
Speaker 5: their face. Every other race it's like, oh sure, but
Speaker 5: with Asians, he said, it's like we're the one race
Speaker 5: we get made fun of in front of us.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Crazy, that's truious kind of lamb.
Speaker 5: Huh.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I think hopefully we're changing. I don't know. As we
Speaker 5: drive through Korea Town.
Speaker 6: Maybe it's since I mean, yes, let's I think we
Speaker 6: should all be more. I'm going to make an effort
Speaker 6: to not and I'm not known to make Asian race material,
Speaker 6: am I?
Speaker 4: Karen? What have you heard?
Speaker 1: That's how I got to know you before we were right.
Speaker 4: We went to that racist joke tellers anonymous?
Speaker 5: Where is that is that? Orange County? Yeah?
Speaker 4: I do, I right, Hayden Lake Area. They do a
Speaker 4: lot of interesting things.
Speaker 5: I lived over there for a few years. I lived
Speaker 5: in Japan for two years, in Korea for one.
Speaker 6: Seriously yeah yeah, oh yeah, I forgot you were a marine.
Speaker 4: What are you talking about?
Speaker 5: No, in college, it was an exchange program. When I
Speaker 5: finished football, I signed on to go to Japan for
Speaker 5: an exchange program and I stayed for two years because
Speaker 5: nobody else from Montana, knew where Japan was or wanted
Speaker 5: to go easy.
Speaker 6: Now I was, I'm from I am oh wait, I
Speaker 6: was born here, carry.
Speaker 5: On, yeah, and then it was great. I was there
Speaker 5: two years and learned a little of the language. But
Speaker 5: you end up teaching part time, great money, having great.
Speaker 6: I think it would be ridiculous of us to not
Speaker 6: request a little bit of Japanese from you.
Speaker 5: Yes, please, oh if Nihongowhong Scott.
Speaker 4: No, No, actually I don't it's a wrist watch. Did
Speaker 4: I do it right perfectly? Okay, thank you, Joseph. COULDI
Speaker 4: chun jim bang bang? I don't know that.
Speaker 5: No, it's it's a tough language, obviously, I mean coming off.
Speaker 4: So I since I don't know, and I can't just riff.
Speaker 5: It, I think you could. I don't know. I don't
Speaker 5: throws some phrases together.
Speaker 1: Wait is that Mandarin?
Speaker 5: That was Japanese? So that was different than Mandarin or
Speaker 5: Cantonese Chinese, but it's the same writing, like that's the
Speaker 5: same concer kanchi.
Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you, I came in.
Speaker 6: Yeah, well you know, okay, I've Daddy's been around the
Speaker 6: block a few times, and so actually I learned what
Speaker 6: kanji is it's good right in front of my house.
Speaker 5: It's tough for Western women to go to Japan. For
Speaker 5: a Western man, it's great. The women are into you.
Speaker 5: But but a lot of Western women that go they're European, American, Australian.
Speaker 5: It's a little tougher because we're too huge. That's what
Speaker 5: it's like. It's hard. You get a complex about shopping
Speaker 5: for clothes. It's like, oh my god, nothing fits, and
Speaker 5: it's like, well, these people are very all with no
Speaker 5: body fat. Don't take it as a complex, but it's
Speaker 5: hard when you're the only one.
Speaker 1: Oh, I can go over there because I have that already.
Speaker 5: Oh you do, okay, perfect, Yeah, that's fine, you'll love it.
Speaker 1: I'll go in my kaftans.
Speaker 5: Absolutely.
Speaker 4: And would I feel comfortable?
Speaker 6: And this isn't a joke because I already said I
Speaker 6: wasn't gonna make those kind of jokes. But would I
Speaker 6: feel comfortable buying a pair of underwear there?
Speaker 5: Oh, that's a good question. The boxers are tiny? Oh
Speaker 5: they're tiny. I bought a couple of pair and.
Speaker 6: Uh, that wasn't a'm j This was a joke about
Speaker 6: me having a big giant hog.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you said it that it wasn't.
Speaker 4: But that's me.
Speaker 6: I'm the one that has to live with this big dick. Okay,
Speaker 6: do you think how do I jump rope? Is that
Speaker 6: what you're gonna ask next? Or I don't.
Speaker 4: I don't skip rope?
Speaker 5: Patrick, And you never learned to read.
Speaker 4: I never learned to read or write.
Speaker 6: Oh, tell me about the rabbits again, George, All right,
Speaker 6: here we go.
Speaker 4: Oh no, I did learn to reader.
Speaker 6: Right, that's funny, because now that don't dip your pen
Speaker 6: in the company ink joke really seems funny to me.
Speaker 6: My dad always said, don't stick your dick in the
Speaker 6: cash register.
Speaker 5: Is that well, that's is that literal or figurative?
Speaker 6: No, he just said, if you get a job as
Speaker 6: a cash operator, do not slam your dick in it.
Speaker 4: Go ahead and make love to someone at work, though, God,
Speaker 4: you know I just can. I I'm going to edit out.
Speaker 5: It is tough to resist a cash register.
Speaker 4: Hey, you know, I like money.
Speaker 1: They all look like Jessica Rabbit to you.
Speaker 6: I like money in the sound of bells, let's get
Speaker 6: it's slamming.
Speaker 5: It's tough as a white woman in Asia because I
Speaker 5: don't like Asian men. I think are a little bit
Speaker 5: maybe feminine, like there's not as much body hair, and
Speaker 5: so it's kind of tougher for them. A lot of
Speaker 5: Western women don't find Asian men as attractive as Western
Speaker 5: men find it a.
Speaker 6: Well, they aren't looking at their calves because Asian men
Speaker 6: have beautiful calfs.
Speaker 5: Yes, oh yeah, and they only have to shave, you know,
Speaker 5: once a week or something.
Speaker 7: I like Arian man, okay, because they have the beauty,
Speaker 7: the beautiful skin and hairlessness of a general Asian.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 1: But then oftentimes they're bigger and deepier.
Speaker 5: Right yeah, because it's a hard peninsula, it's hard country.
Speaker 7: Yeah there there they can lift things and make a
Speaker 7: tent out of calf skin.
Speaker 5: Things, Unlike it's a hard, bitter piece. The two careas
Speaker 5: so they're tough. I mean, do you remember when I
Speaker 5: tried to set us, to set you up with it?
Speaker 5: It was a double date. We would have gone on.
Speaker 4: I do remember that years ago.
Speaker 5: It was a long time ago.
Speaker 1: The two Asian girls.
Speaker 5: No, it was one was a it was black from
Speaker 5: France of all places.
Speaker 4: I didn't say no because of no, no.
Speaker 5: No, you did not no, you said you were busy.
Speaker 5: And then her friend was Asian. But they were both models.
Speaker 5: It was crazy. Really Yeah, but you couldn't you were
Speaker 5: a girlfriend. Yeah, but you couldn't do it. And I
Speaker 5: remember thinking, I don't know another comic I can go
Speaker 5: to because you were like your fun guy, you're good looking,
Speaker 5: you're you can work with both common.
Speaker 6: Remember bringing that up and you said, Hey, have you
Speaker 6: ever wanted to get a Pacific rim job?
Speaker 4: I don't know. It's just a dumb joke that I thought. Hey, Karen,
Speaker 4: don't quit doing.
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're doing.
Speaker 5: It's getting warmer, or the topic is getting Sorry, this
Speaker 5: is just going guys.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry. Well the heat was on because I.
Speaker 5: Was trying to talk so much space.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, it is the heat. Usually, let's talk about
Speaker 4: something else.
Speaker 1: Well, I just like the where did you meet two models?
Speaker 5: Oh? Well, I met her at a club. It was
Speaker 5: funny because we were I was with uh, one of
Speaker 5: my friends who has money, and he had to leave,
Speaker 5: but he's just like, keep the keep the booth. He's like,
Speaker 5: I'm out of here, keep the booth. Here's some bottles
Speaker 5: of vodka. And it was and this girl comes up
Speaker 5: and she's like, oh, can I sit and have some
Speaker 5: drinks and I was like, yeah, of course we're not
Speaker 5: going to finish all this vodka. We can't take it
Speaker 5: with us, and and so she immediately assumes that I
Speaker 5: caused that night, oh you know. And I wanted to
Speaker 5: tell her right there, look, I'm not this cool. You
Speaker 5: need to know this all the time.
Speaker 1: But somehow it just didn't come out.
Speaker 5: No, yeah, I just held it in.
Speaker 4: For because other topics came out.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 4: She'd have my.
Speaker 5: Phone put her number in it right away.
Speaker 6: I hate that when you want to be truthful with
Speaker 6: someone but it's too late. They're already putting their number into.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's fantastic. And then we went on a couple
Speaker 5: of dates and then she's like, oh, do you have it?
Speaker 5: I want to go out with my friend, and like
Speaker 5: you were basically it. And then after you it was like,
Speaker 5: I'll go to some other civilians. I guess, but she
Speaker 5: wanted to hang out with a comic because we had
Speaker 5: such a good time, so she wanted a friend to
Speaker 5: hang out.
Speaker 6: If I had a time machine, Patrick, that sounds like
Speaker 6: the funnest.
Speaker 5: We would have come back. I went from where where
Speaker 5: would we have gone?
Speaker 4: We would have gone to the present.
Speaker 6: But right now, it would have seemed like we were
Speaker 6: going back in time, right, that's how time machines really were.
Speaker 5: We would have spent all their money. But it was fun. Yeah,
Speaker 5: you know, but it's it's about more than just uh,
Speaker 5: what's on the outside, which is why we do this inside.
Speaker 6: The car, Patrick, I remember one of the nights at
Speaker 6: the Big Sky Comedy Festival.
Speaker 4: You you had had some drinks and as did I.
Speaker 6: You you have probably drinking stories prepared for tonight.
Speaker 5: Right, Yeah. They made us do our set and then
Speaker 5: they we already.
Speaker 4: Talked about what I'm sorry you already wrote.
Speaker 6: Right now, there is a jackknife trailer in the road.
Speaker 6: I know you can sell by the urgency in my voice.
Speaker 6: I wonder what he wants me to do. I think
Speaker 6: he wants me to do this. Yeah, Hi, thank you,
Speaker 6: thank you. You're very nice.
Speaker 5: You see the car with three microphones.
Speaker 4: Are you guys scared of truckers?
Speaker 1: You think?
Speaker 5: So? Okay? They see things from that perched up position.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I thought you watched Dual Karen.
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's why I'm not afraid, because as a child
Speaker 7: I faced the fear.
Speaker 6: That was like wasn't in the movie just it was
Speaker 6: a magic sum my truck that didn't really have a driver,
Speaker 6: or you never see him.
Speaker 5: You never see him. Oh to see his boots, I
Speaker 5: think are walking. Yeah, it's just a Spielberg joint.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like one of his first movies.
Speaker 5: What did he do after that?
Speaker 1: Jaws?
Speaker 5: Oh, that's right? And then from there we never heard.
Speaker 4: From from there.
Speaker 1: And then he just faded into a you.
Speaker 5: See did you ever watch Martin Jimmy Glick? Oh? Yes,
Speaker 5: Oh god, the Spielberg interview.
Speaker 4: Is so I want to see it.
Speaker 1: Oh, I don't think I saw the Spielberg one.
Speaker 5: Oh it's Jimmy Glick. It's Martin short as a chubby, okay,
Speaker 5: and he's interviewing Spielberg and he's just like, when are
Speaker 5: you going to make the big one?
Speaker 7: I swear to god the ship he did on that
Speaker 7: he said stuff and you could tell he was riffing.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, like there's somewhere you're just like, you know,
Speaker 1: this came to him.
Speaker 6: I don't think that I knew he was a genius
Speaker 6: until that. Yeah, I'm certain I enjoyed Inner Space and
Speaker 6: three of Me and goes yeah, But he was always
Speaker 6: just this guy that was in things that I had
Speaker 6: gotten used to and then all of a sudden, he
Speaker 6: became my hero with that character.
Speaker 5: It's just because he captures a chubby character, you know,
Speaker 5: and it's like, how do you know what a chubby
Speaker 5: perspective is? Yeah, and he captured like he's eating, don't
Speaker 5: He sneaks away to the craft service table during the interview,
Speaker 5: and the camera's on him so it can see him
Speaker 5: like sliding down the couch across the carpet.
Speaker 6: I think that it was the combination of him looking
Speaker 6: the way that but his physical comedy. It's just it
Speaker 6: was just I don't even know if that could be planned.
Speaker 6: That cop just ran a red light.
Speaker 5: Should we report citizen's arrest? Perhaps?
Speaker 4: But there was a family.
Speaker 5: But there's a police station right here, so we wouldn't
Speaker 5: have far to go.
Speaker 4: He's just doing a joy ride.
Speaker 5: But and then Michael McKean is his co host in
Speaker 5: that it's brilliant. You wonder what those guys think of
Speaker 5: comedy now, like Steve Martin's and those guys, And and do.
Speaker 1: You follow Michael McKean on Twitter.
Speaker 5: Yes, he's good. He's so great.
Speaker 6: I say, I would like to think that because it
Speaker 6: seems like Martin short is pretty hip I bet there's
Speaker 6: stand ups that are new that he's listening.
Speaker 5: He would like.
Speaker 1: I mean, well he's on's show.
Speaker 5: That's true. That'll that'll lend it so much. That's so
Speaker 5: great that they have a legend or who's the other
Speaker 5: legend they have on that they have two commons? Oh
Speaker 5: is it? No? No, Ellie cool Ellie Ellie.
Speaker 4: That's right.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so that's huge and fun. I bet it's fun
Speaker 5: for those guys. Even the Sullivan Son and show has
Speaker 5: that Brian dol Murray on it. Yeah, which would be
Speaker 5: fun to have a legend like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's he's been in so many things.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he was a right or left here.
Speaker 1: Well I think seventh is below this.
Speaker 4: Okay, god, what is wrong with it?
Speaker 1: Well, we've just been it's hard because we've been going
Speaker 1: hand circles.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm not I'm not very good at driving and
Speaker 6: talking and.
Speaker 5: And well you're a male and we can't we can't.
Speaker 4: That's true. We've talked about that multit multitask. Yeah. See,
Speaker 4: I mean you had one job there and you fucked
Speaker 4: it up. Yeah.
Speaker 5: That's why women are such good I think improv sketch
Speaker 5: and casting directors because they have sensibility. They take it
Speaker 5: in right, and males tend to do more than get.
Speaker 6: Distracted and start to fall asleep or just look down
Speaker 6: at their crotch.
Speaker 5: Right, dig a hole, push that sled.
Speaker 4: I'm no man hater. I'm not gonna go down.
Speaker 1: That road, Santa Claus.
Speaker 5: I don't know. I don't know why a man.
Speaker 1: To push a sleigh or I just need to find
Speaker 1: a man to get me a sleigh that's only looking.
Speaker 4: I just need a man who appreciates Christmas like me.
Speaker 5: Was there were there huskies in the movie Cliffhanger? Did
Speaker 5: he ever have to like mush mush or not? Really?
Speaker 1: There are mountains, not that I remember.
Speaker 4: Are you talking about uh Stallan's Cliffhanger?
Speaker 5: Yes, Sylvester Frank it's.
Speaker 1: The opening scene alone.
Speaker 5: They want an Academy Award for Cinematography.
Speaker 6: Well, now I know why they call it. But you
Speaker 6: guys just talking about it. I'm on the edge of
Speaker 6: my seat.
Speaker 5: Amazing.
Speaker 4: Should we go to the Montay and do the show?
Speaker 4: That starts to mean, sure, let's do it.
Speaker 6: I'm going to find a parking place in this bullet
Speaker 6: target of a neighborhood and I found No, that's no.
Speaker 6: I don't.
Speaker 1: Yes, it is.
Speaker 4: That's way. That's that.
Speaker 5: You know what, girl, take a lift, keep your fingers
Speaker 5: on the home key.
Speaker 6: That's right, g h Z. And Okay, I never took
Speaker 6: typewriting because they didn't call it that. I think they
Speaker 6: called it keyboarding, but then it got replaced by the
Speaker 6: popularity of knee boarding.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 6: I was extra controlling and riffy during this episode. I
Speaker 6: know we all had fun, but.
Speaker 5: Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1: No apologies, how much fun.
Speaker 4: He's great.
Speaker 6: I'm sorry, Patrick keyt everybody.
Speaker 1: We need to I feel.
Speaker 7: Like we should go on a road trip Patrick key
Speaker 7: In this podcast, the first thing that comes to mind,
Speaker 7: which I regret thinking of, is burning man. Let's go
Speaker 7: somewhere that would really.
Speaker 6: Re established at It's the first idea we come up with,
Speaker 6: burning man.
Speaker 1: It is okay, okay, can we make that plan?
Speaker 5: Yeah? What time year is that? April?
Speaker 4: Oh? You have some gigs?
Speaker 5: Does it rotate? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think it's summertime.
Speaker 6: One of the stage rotates you've been listening to Do
Speaker 6: you need a ride with Patrick kan?
Speaker 4: Patrick? Do you do you have anything to plug?
Speaker 5: I think just the Twitter and Twitter or just look
Speaker 5: twitter at Patrick Kean at Citizen Keane.
Speaker 4: Oh, Citizen Key.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I recently retweeted your tweet. Remember when comedy was
Speaker 1: fun Yeah, I.
Speaker 5: Don't want to be that guy that's like, oh, nothing's
Speaker 5: funny anymore, but sometimes.
Speaker 6: It feels someone has to be that guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just to mention it.
Speaker 4: Every once in a while, I like to remind people
Speaker 4: with my comedy that that's okay.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's how I do it.
Speaker 6: We're all funny, and we're all gonna have a show
Speaker 6: right now, and and up next you'll hear a little
Speaker 6: bit of the comedy of Patrick Keane.
Speaker 4: You've been listening to Do you Need a Ride?
Speaker 1: D Y M A R?
Speaker 5: Everybody get up for Patrick Key.
Speaker 9: Hey, guys, so so in.
Speaker 10: The uh in the early years of my life. Uh,
Speaker 10: that's it. Uh oh no, oh h.
Speaker 11: I have uh I have. Uh some of you guys
Speaker 11: aren't laughing.
Speaker 12: Uh oh god, it's not easy.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 12: Cool You guys are cool with that, okay, Oh hey guys, sorry,
Speaker 12: I uh, hey, guys, I'm clearly disturbed. Uh oh, there's a.
Speaker 13: That's it. Hell, yeah, that's it.
Speaker 5: I don't do it.
Speaker 1: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home? Either way?
Speaker 4: We want to be.
Speaker 2: There, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give
Speaker 2: us time and a Turmano and gay.
Speaker 3: We want to send you off in Sol. We want
Speaker 3: to welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared our Was it fine now? Poorn? Do you
Speaker 1: need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you
Speaker 1: need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need ride?
Speaker 7: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need with Karen and Chriss