1
00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:03,960
Speaker 1: I really really need to tell people to tune this

2
00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:08,240
Speaker 1: noise out and live lives for themselves, because that's finally

3
00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:10,840
Speaker 1: where a place of peace that I've come to and

4
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:13,640
Speaker 1: I've worked really hard for, and people are trying to

5
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:14,960
Speaker 1: take that piece away from me.

6
00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:25,440
Speaker 2: There are no girls on the Internet.

7
00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:33,120
Speaker 3: As a production of iHeartRadio and Unbossed Creative, I'm brigitad

8
00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:36,400
Speaker 3: and this is there are no girls on the Internet.

9
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:39,960
Speaker 3: If you don't get married and have kids, you're going

10
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:43,440
Speaker 3: to wind up old, sad and alone, surrounded by nothing

11
00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:46,040
Speaker 3: but cats. It sounds like an attitude right out of

12
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:50,320
Speaker 3: the nineteen fifties, right, But lately I've noticed an uptick

13
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:53,320
Speaker 3: in social media content pretty much telling young women that

14
00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,640
Speaker 3: if you're not on your way to marriage and parenthood

15
00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:58,440
Speaker 3: in your twenties, you're doing life wrong and you're going

16
00:00:58,480 --> 00:00:59,040
Speaker 3: to regret it.

17
00:00:59,400 --> 00:00:59,640
Speaker 2: Now.

18
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:03,960
Speaker 3: Not only is this attitude completely heteronormative, but it's incredibly

19
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,720
Speaker 3: limiting in so many other ways too.

20
00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,880
Speaker 2: The truth is, people live.

21
00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:11,960
Speaker 3: All kinds of dynamic, full, interesting lives, with partners without partners,

22
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,520
Speaker 3: between partners with multiple partners, with kids without kids, and

23
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,319
Speaker 3: when the host of the Pretty Much Done podcast, Julia

24
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:21,360
Speaker 3: Maser took to TikTok to share a wholesome recap of

25
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,920
Speaker 3: her weekend as a single woman without kids. Right wing

26
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:29,640
Speaker 3: extremists viciously attacked her online for it, But Julia is

27
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:32,600
Speaker 3: not living her life for the Matt Walshes of the world.

28
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:34,640
Speaker 3: She's living her life for her.

29
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:35,720
Speaker 4: So.

30
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:39,039
Speaker 1: My name is Julia Maser. I am the host of

31
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,600
Speaker 1: pretty Much Done podcast.

32
00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:43,040
Speaker 3: So first of all, I really have to start with

33
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:46,199
Speaker 3: just you. You know, you went through something that I thought

34
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,120
Speaker 3: was pretty intense.

35
00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:48,600
Speaker 2: How are you doing?

36
00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:50,560
Speaker 3: How have you been taking care of yourself in this

37
00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,120
Speaker 3: time of intensity online?

38
00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:57,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely a unique experience. Never experienced anything like it.

39
00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:59,680
Speaker 1: I think the one thing that I would say that

40
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,240
Speaker 1: it lash for me is being bullied in like elementary

41
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,400
Speaker 1: and middle school for my weight. So it definitely brought

42
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:09,680
Speaker 1: up feelings of that bullying. I didn't know that we

43
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:13,040
Speaker 1: still do that at thirty, but apparently we do. I'm

44
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,920
Speaker 1: doing well all things considered. I feel really lucky that

45
00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:20,200
Speaker 1: the past three years for me have been like years

46
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,800
Speaker 1: of you know, working on my self worth in therapy

47
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:24,840
Speaker 1: and figuring out who I am. And I feel like

48
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:28,359
Speaker 1: this happened at a place where I was able to

49
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,720
Speaker 1: handle it as best as I could ever handle it,

50
00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:32,920
Speaker 1: so doing well all things considered.

51
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:34,600
Speaker 2: I am so thrilled to hear that.

52
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:36,760
Speaker 3: And that's such a good point that whenever I think

53
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:40,320
Speaker 3: about people who are you know, being harassed or facing like,

54
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:44,600
Speaker 3: you know, a torrent of negativity online, I you know,

55
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,520
Speaker 3: I'm I don't wish it on anybody. However, if it

56
00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,360
Speaker 3: happened to somebody who hadn't done that self work, hadn't

57
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,920
Speaker 3: been a therapy, didn't feel so solid, didn't have a

58
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,639
Speaker 3: community of folks around them, didn't have all of those things,

59
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,800
Speaker 3: it might the story might be very different.

60
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,079
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, totally.

61
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:04,799
Speaker 1: I almost felt like I'm like spiritual, So I almost

62
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,639
Speaker 1: felt like this happened to me for us single girls,

63
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:10,639
Speaker 1: like it had to be Julia who could tackle this,

64
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:15,200
Speaker 1: because yeah, I was able to and I like had

65
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:19,680
Speaker 1: this amazing support system around me, and then a support

66
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,320
Speaker 1: system rallied around me as a result. But yeah, it

67
00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:24,000
Speaker 1: like I almost think like it had to be me

68
00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:25,800
Speaker 1: who had done the work for so long.

69
00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,520
Speaker 3: I'm so happy that you that you were in a

70
00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,360
Speaker 3: place to do that work so that this didn't happen

71
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,600
Speaker 3: at a time and you didn't feel so solid, you know,

72
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,960
Speaker 3: I know that you're someone who really shares a lot

73
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:39,440
Speaker 3: of yourself digitally with the world through your amazing podcast

74
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,560
Speaker 3: pretty much done through social media. What drives you to

75
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,480
Speaker 3: do that? Like, like, why is that something that's part

76
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:45,680
Speaker 3: of how you show up to the world.

77
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think some context into me and how I

78
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,440
Speaker 1: grew up would be helpful here. So I grew up

79
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:55,120
Speaker 1: in a Russian Jewish household, and growing up, a lot

80
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:58,960
Speaker 1: of the emphasis placed on me was get married, have kids,

81
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:02,000
Speaker 1: and you know, that's kind of the goal to try

82
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:05,120
Speaker 1: and achieve. And so for so long of my life,

83
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,560
Speaker 1: I found myself trying to achieve that goal, trying to

84
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:12,800
Speaker 1: date people in order to feel valued by not only

85
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:16,080
Speaker 1: like my cultural society, but like society in general. And

86
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:20,560
Speaker 1: I thought that that only existed in the Russian Jewish society,

87
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,760
Speaker 1: and I knew that there are other cultures who experience

88
00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:26,400
Speaker 1: those same things. But now realizing the rhetoric that was

89
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,599
Speaker 1: kind of echoed through the online bullying that happens in

90
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:35,000
Speaker 1: society in general, like the emphasis was placed on women

91
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:39,640
Speaker 1: getting married and having kids, and so I found myself

92
00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:43,040
Speaker 1: in kind of these like, you know, not so great relationships.

93
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:46,320
Speaker 1: They were kind of lackluster and feeling like unfulfilled and

94
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:49,800
Speaker 1: realizing that I was settling in order to appease other

95
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:54,120
Speaker 1: people and prove my value. And so I've really felt

96
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:58,320
Speaker 1: passionate about starting my podcast because I realized that the

97
00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,520
Speaker 1: only way that we're going to feel fulfilled and find

98
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:03,400
Speaker 1: the right partner for ourselves is to feel fulfilled within

99
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:06,040
Speaker 1: ourselves and feel whole within ourselves. And so that's kind

100
00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:08,440
Speaker 1: of what took me on my self love journey, my

101
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,800
Speaker 1: spirituality journey, my journey with therapy and self love. And

102
00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:13,560
Speaker 1: I was like, I need to tell people about this

103
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:17,080
Speaker 1: because so many people around me are settling for these

104
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:20,400
Speaker 1: whatever relationships, because society is telling us that we need

105
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,760
Speaker 1: to get married and have kids before thirty. And if

106
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,800
Speaker 1: you're still single, you're a spinster at thirty and you

107
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,159
Speaker 1: love cats, and you know you're going to live with

108
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:31,880
Speaker 1: a bunch of cats. So I just really wanted people

109
00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,640
Speaker 1: to feel like they were less alone with me sharing

110
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,080
Speaker 1: those same vulnerabilities.

111
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,120
Speaker 2: That's what really drives me.

112
00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,359
Speaker 3: But that's why I love your podcast is that you

113
00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:44,520
Speaker 3: know when I was single, I my story is very

114
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:48,159
Speaker 3: similar to yours. I really got caught up in relationships

115
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:51,000
Speaker 3: that looked good on paper or that like checked a box.

116
00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:53,200
Speaker 3: And eventually I had just step back and realized that

117
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:56,479
Speaker 3: I was sort of terrified of being alone and that

118
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,760
Speaker 3: it didn't matter who I was with. If I wasn't

119
00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:02,720
Speaker 3: kind of with myself right with myself, that nothing would

120
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,719
Speaker 3: ever really feel right. And so I had to go

121
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:08,400
Speaker 3: through a process of getting to know myself and being

122
00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,159
Speaker 3: alone and being okay with that and really getting to

123
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:15,640
Speaker 3: know myself. And I just don't think that we are

124
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:19,159
Speaker 3: taught to do that. You know, nobody gets a big

125
00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,400
Speaker 3: party or like a bunch of gifts for not marrying

126
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:25,960
Speaker 3: the wrong person or for like kicking ass at therapy

127
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:26,440
Speaker 3: or whatever.

128
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:30,040
Speaker 2: We get. We get big gifts for like getting engaged.

129
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:30,840
Speaker 3: Right, And so I just don't think we live in

130
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:34,520
Speaker 3: a culture that tells people that you're enough, and you know,

131
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:37,680
Speaker 3: the the milestones on that journey to getting to know

132
00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,960
Speaker 3: who you are though, should be celebrated too, because those

133
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:40,800
Speaker 3: are really important.

134
00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:42,200
Speaker 4: Yeah.

135
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:42,920
Speaker 5: Absolutely.

136
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,120
Speaker 1: I always remember like, if I had a plus one

137
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,320
Speaker 1: at a wedding, I felt like, oh, thank god, this

138
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:51,400
Speaker 1: like sigh of relief because I was you know, I

139
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:54,240
Speaker 1: wouldn't have to face the chorus of people being like

140
00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:57,600
Speaker 1: you're next, or when are you gonna find someone? Or

141
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,000
Speaker 1: something like that, and so so I totally agree with you.

142
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,320
Speaker 1: And something that's been top of mind for me is

143
00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,560
Speaker 1: that I'm getting called a spinster through these online trolls

144
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,560
Speaker 1: and these bullies, but a man at thirty is getting

145
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:16,800
Speaker 1: called a bachelor, Like why is that happening? So that's

146
00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,360
Speaker 1: just something that's been crossing my mind.

147
00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:21,040
Speaker 3: Oh, there are all kinds of like I would argue

148
00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:25,320
Speaker 3: deeply gendered double standards about being single as a young person,

149
00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:28,840
Speaker 3: Like there's nobody who sees a guy at his thirties

150
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:31,480
Speaker 3: making a If a guy at his thirties made a

151
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,400
Speaker 3: TikTok about his life as a single guy like going,

152
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:38,400
Speaker 3: I don't know whatever single guys do, you know, going

153
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,640
Speaker 3: to the big game, whatever, whatever, no one will be like,

154
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:41,960
Speaker 3: oh that's so depressing.

155
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,120
Speaker 2: He doesn't realize how empty his life is.

156
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. It's terrible.

157
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:47,960
Speaker 2: I said.

158
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:50,040
Speaker 1: Some of the people that came to my defense were

159
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:53,400
Speaker 1: making that point of they would be telling a guy

160
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,760
Speaker 1: at thirty, who is you know, going to play golf first,

161
00:07:55,880 --> 00:08:00,280
Speaker 1: having a lazy saturday, like you rock, you go, And

162
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,720
Speaker 1: for me, it's like your eggs are sand and You're

163
00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:03,960
Speaker 1: gonna live alone for.

164
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:05,160
Speaker 5: The rest of your life.

165
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:09,000
Speaker 3: Last month, Julia posted a video to TikTok just describing

166
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,600
Speaker 3: her weekend. This is how I spent my Saturday as

167
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,560
Speaker 3: a twenty nine year old single woman who doesn't have

168
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,160
Speaker 3: kids running around. She said she had gone out for

169
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,120
Speaker 3: a fun night seeing Beyonce the night before, and was

170
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:22,280
Speaker 3: describing spending a quiet, pleasant day catching up on sleep,

171
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:25,840
Speaker 3: watching her favorite shows, and trying out a new recipe.

172
00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:28,640
Speaker 3: Sometimes I feel like I'm behind in life, but days

173
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:32,080
Speaker 3: like this make me appreciate my situation, she muses. So,

174
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:35,880
Speaker 3: when you posted that TikTok about your weekend, that sounded awesome.

175
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,079
Speaker 3: By the way, you had gone to Beyonce, you were

176
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,080
Speaker 3: sleeping in, you were making shakhshuka when you posted it.

177
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:43,679
Speaker 3: What did you think the reaction was going to be?

178
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:48,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I like the intent behind posting it. Sometimes

179
00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:49,920
Speaker 1: I'll wake up in the mornings and you know, like,

180
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,600
Speaker 1: as a single girl, my sister, like sometimes I can't

181
00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,880
Speaker 1: FaceTime her because at ten, she's at like soccer practice.

182
00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,280
Speaker 1: She has two kids, so she's at like soccer practice

183
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,359
Speaker 1: and doing all these things. And sometimes I guilt myself

184
00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:03,760
Speaker 1: by like Juliet, You're like, you're still in bed at

185
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:06,400
Speaker 1: nine thirty. You haven't gone out of bed yet. And

186
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:09,600
Speaker 1: I do this self inflicted guilt, and so what I

187
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,400
Speaker 1: wanted to tell people is like, listen, when you guilt

188
00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:15,320
Speaker 1: yourself for not being where society wants you to be,

189
00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:18,000
Speaker 1: this is what I'm doing with my day. I went

190
00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:21,280
Speaker 1: to Beyonce last night, I dance, I was with friends.

191
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,920
Speaker 1: I'm going to make a new recipe schactuka, Like how

192
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:26,600
Speaker 1: lucky and privileged am I that I get to do

193
00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:29,720
Speaker 1: that instead of the you know, self loathing talk of

194
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:33,280
Speaker 1: like why aren't you at soccer practice and why haven't

195
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,920
Speaker 1: you found your partner? So that was my intent and

196
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,840
Speaker 1: I just wanted to make people feel less alone in that.

197
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,720
Speaker 1: And at first I was getting a lot of positive

198
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,959
Speaker 1: feedback and people saying like, yes, thank you, I feel

199
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,160
Speaker 1: seen this. This is my weekend too. I am thirty

200
00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:50,839
Speaker 1: and single and I feel seen by this.

201
00:09:54,679 --> 00:10:07,760
Speaker 4: Let's take a quick break ed her back.

202
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:12,040
Speaker 3: Julia's TikTok was getting lots of love for just being

203
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,520
Speaker 3: a wholesome appreciation of her life as a single woman.

204
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:18,360
Speaker 3: That is until Matt Walsh reposted it to his over

205
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:22,760
Speaker 3: two million Twitter followers, saying that Julia was quote too

206
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:27,160
Speaker 3: stupid to realize how depressing this is. Chaia Reischik, creator

207
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:30,440
Speaker 3: of the LGBTQ hate and harassment account Libs of TikTok,

208
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:35,000
Speaker 3: joined in saying this video reeks of desperate cope. Enemy

209
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,280
Speaker 3: of the show Candice Owen said this is what future depression,

210
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,680
Speaker 3: Xanax and wine Combo Nights alone look like. But hey,

211
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:46,280
Speaker 3: the shak shuka. When Mark Cuban defended Julia, former Trump

212
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:49,679
Speaker 3: White House advisor Stephen Miller hit back, saying, people, listen

213
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,760
Speaker 3: to your advice. What would you say is a more

214
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:55,160
Speaker 3: fulfilling path for adults starting a family or sleeping late

215
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,040
Speaker 3: and watching TV?

216
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:57,760
Speaker 2: What advice would you give.

217
00:10:57,559 --> 00:11:00,160
Speaker 3: To someone who suggests they wish to be childless they

218
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:04,280
Speaker 3: can stream more shows. Now, keep in mind, Julia never

219
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:07,160
Speaker 3: said any of this. How any of these people who

220
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,319
Speaker 3: don't even know her and have never spoken to her

221
00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:11,840
Speaker 3: would have any idea what kind of life she has

222
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:15,480
Speaker 3: or wants for herself is beyond me. But Wash clearly

223
00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:19,720
Speaker 3: unleashed something ugly, and the hate kept rolling in. People

224
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,920
Speaker 3: were even telling Julia that the only way that she

225
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,599
Speaker 3: would ever have kids is if she were sexually assaulted.

226
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,440
Speaker 3: In our current social media landscape, it could be anything

227
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:32,160
Speaker 3: that gets someone, especially someone from a traditionally marginalized background

228
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:35,880
Speaker 3: or identity, piled on online with hates, threats, and harassment.

229
00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:38,600
Speaker 3: This is something I hear a lot from people who

230
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,280
Speaker 3: have gone through this kind of harassment that it's easy

231
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:44,120
Speaker 3: to think the targets must have done something to deserve it.

232
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,839
Speaker 3: But you really don't have to do anything wrong for

233
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:50,120
Speaker 3: somebody like Matt Walsh to decide to send two million

234
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,120
Speaker 3: people your way to pile on with hate.

235
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,280
Speaker 2: And that's exactly what happened to Julian.

236
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:58,119
Speaker 1: I can't like speak for these people on their mentality

237
00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,880
Speaker 1: because I don't know what it was really that irked them,

238
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:05,320
Speaker 1: But I all I know is like I don't want

239
00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:08,120
Speaker 1: to wallow and self pity because I have been that

240
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:12,880
Speaker 1: girl dating from that kind of like desperation of police

241
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:16,280
Speaker 1: come save me. And so if that if if they

242
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,360
Speaker 1: want me to be miserable, let me tell you, like

243
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:22,800
Speaker 1: that was a really miserable existence. So like, I don't

244
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,480
Speaker 1: know what they wanted from me and what riled them

245
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,640
Speaker 1: up so much. I almost think that they got riled

246
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:31,160
Speaker 1: up by Matt Walsh. Like I think that they were

247
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:34,680
Speaker 1: like he says that this is you know, she's stupid

248
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:37,560
Speaker 1: and depressed, so we're gonna go along with that. I

249
00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:39,360
Speaker 1: almost think that that's what it took for them to

250
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:40,400
Speaker 1: be so angry.

251
00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:43,480
Speaker 3: I feel like I saw the comments and the reaction

252
00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:46,760
Speaker 3: to the video in real time go from like supportive,

253
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,360
Speaker 3: like thank you for making me feel so seen, thank

254
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,040
Speaker 3: you for reminding me to be gentle with myself and

255
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,520
Speaker 3: reminding me to be appreciative with my with like what

256
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:58,280
Speaker 3: I have to Matt Walsh and folks on Twitter posting

257
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:01,200
Speaker 3: about it, and then they're this being this like very

258
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:04,080
Speaker 3: clear shift. Did you see the same thing where like

259
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,400
Speaker 3: it was like it made it to the wrong side

260
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,640
Speaker 3: of the internet, and then the reaction completely changed.

261
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:13,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah for sure. So Saturday I posted it and

262
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,920
Speaker 1: then all of Saturday positivity great and it was a

263
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,680
Speaker 1: wonderful day. And then Sunday I woke up and people

264
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,400
Speaker 1: started to attack and it almost felt like this wave.

265
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,640
Speaker 1: I kind of tell people like it feels like a

266
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,320
Speaker 1: like five hundred people came into your house and started

267
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:31,000
Speaker 1: punching you.

268
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,560
Speaker 5: Like it was very scary.

269
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:37,520
Speaker 1: And someone commented saying, you know, like Matt Walsh posted

270
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:41,520
Speaker 1: this on his Twitter and I had seven thousand TikTok

271
00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:44,000
Speaker 1: followers at the time. This man has two point four

272
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:48,319
Speaker 1: million followers on Twitter. So the playing field was vastly

273
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:52,760
Speaker 1: different and it was really really scary, And when it happened,

274
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:56,760
Speaker 1: I got scared and I deleted TikTok, like not my

275
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,200
Speaker 1: profile but just the app from my phone because I

276
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,840
Speaker 1: had never experienced anything like it. Feeling like a bunch

277
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,640
Speaker 1: of people are just like punching you over and over

278
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:08,240
Speaker 1: again and attacking you is really scary. And I kind

279
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:11,760
Speaker 1: of just went like dark, and I had plans with

280
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,520
Speaker 1: my cousin and a friend to go to the beach.

281
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,520
Speaker 1: We went to the beach. You know, I've done my

282
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:19,000
Speaker 1: like I know my rituals of now, like I meditate

283
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,880
Speaker 1: a journal, I like go places that make me happy.

284
00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:24,560
Speaker 1: I was like trying to really hone in on those things.

285
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,040
Speaker 1: But it was really scary, and I was having friends

286
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,240
Speaker 1: texts who have Twitter I didn't have Twitter at the time,

287
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:34,000
Speaker 1: who have Twitter followings and are on Twitter and said like,

288
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:37,120
Speaker 1: don't stay off, don't look at the comments.

289
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,160
Speaker 5: Are you okay? And checking in?

290
00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,160
Speaker 3: I am glad that you're somebody who has like a

291
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:46,200
Speaker 3: good support system and that people like billionaire Mark Cuban

292
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:48,560
Speaker 3: were sticking up for you. I'm glad that you are

293
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,280
Speaker 3: seem to be pretty in touch with having a practice

294
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,200
Speaker 3: of how to get back centered when you're going through

295
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:54,360
Speaker 3: something so tough and so.

296
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,520
Speaker 2: Scary, even though to be clear, you should.

297
00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,520
Speaker 3: Not have to have like a toolkit to deal with

298
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:04,640
Speaker 3: that kind of completely unacceptable behavior from strangers online who

299
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,520
Speaker 3: attack you because they have been sent there by somebody

300
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:11,200
Speaker 3: like Matt Walsh with this huge, massive online platform that

301
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,000
Speaker 3: he is using to harass somebody who didn't do anything

302
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:14,360
Speaker 3: at all.

303
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,920
Speaker 1: I agree, I totally agree, And thank god I'm someone

304
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:22,120
Speaker 1: who had done the work, because there aren't a lot

305
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,520
Speaker 1: of people who even have access to doing the same

306
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:29,080
Speaker 1: works that I was able to do, and that you know,

307
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,880
Speaker 1: I handled it as best as I could with grace.

308
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:33,800
Speaker 1: I had this community, but I was still on my

309
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:37,160
Speaker 1: couch crying, like there are some really awful things that

310
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:40,080
Speaker 1: people had said there. There were talks about how like

311
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:41,840
Speaker 1: the only way I'd have a kid is if I

312
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:47,040
Speaker 1: was sexually assaulted by someone you know calling me that

313
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,240
Speaker 1: I said that I look forty.

314
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,520
Speaker 5: Now I'm like, do I need like filler?

315
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,760
Speaker 1: In under my eyes, Like I am kind of spiraling

316
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,560
Speaker 1: in certain ways, and it's really scary to see how

317
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:59,240
Speaker 1: hateful people can be on the internet. I don't know

318
00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:02,120
Speaker 1: about you, but I've ever been someone who stops to

319
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,760
Speaker 1: say something mean to someone.

320
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:04,880
Speaker 5: I just I think.

321
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:09,480
Speaker 1: That that social media allows people the ability to act

322
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,680
Speaker 1: like these, that people aren't humans who put themselves out

323
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,640
Speaker 1: there and say like people are talking about me as

324
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,440
Speaker 1: if I'm not reading it, They're like, she looks like

325
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,520
Speaker 1: this or she's this, and I'm like, this is my

326
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:24,360
Speaker 1: profile that you're commenting on. I see this, and it's

327
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,320
Speaker 1: it's awful. It's it's really awful.

328
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:27,640
Speaker 3: I don't know if this is weird to say, Like

329
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:31,520
Speaker 3: the thing about people being like, oh, like she's this,

330
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:35,200
Speaker 3: she's that you have a like dope life, Like you

331
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,120
Speaker 3: seem like somebody who has a life that is very

332
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,680
Speaker 3: full of a lot of good things. You have the

333
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,360
Speaker 3: kind of life that people wish for, the kind of

334
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:44,520
Speaker 3: life that people like are manifesting for themselves. And it

335
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:48,800
Speaker 3: is truly watching people try to make you think that

336
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,200
Speaker 3: your life is worthless and has no value because you

337
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,680
Speaker 3: don't have a husband and don't have kids is truly

338
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:57,640
Speaker 3: the gymnastics involved, because it's like, yeah, you actually are

339
00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:02,160
Speaker 3: out here living a pretty full, lovely life, and then

340
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,400
Speaker 3: people trying to like gaslight you into like questioning whether

341
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:06,359
Speaker 3: or not that's the case.

342
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,440
Speaker 2: But you know that your life feels good for you.

343
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:08,639
Speaker 2: You know.

344
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:11,080
Speaker 3: It's like it's like, how has Matt washed somebody who's

345
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,000
Speaker 3: never even met you going to try to convince you

346
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,639
Speaker 3: that your life is less than when you this is

347
00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:17,320
Speaker 3: a life that you've manifested for yourself.

348
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:21,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it almost makes me feel so much more

349
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,880
Speaker 1: certain of the message that I'm trying to have come

350
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:26,960
Speaker 1: across with my social media and on my podcast, because

351
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:30,600
Speaker 1: I'm like I spent you know, my twenties kind of

352
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:34,760
Speaker 1: telling people around me, like my parents, my grandparents, like

353
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,439
Speaker 1: I don't want to settle in relationships, and like I

354
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,520
Speaker 1: really want to figure myself out before I find that

355
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:43,760
Speaker 1: person and have that family. And then two point fourmally

356
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,359
Speaker 1: and people start attacking me, and I'm like, God, this

357
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,639
Speaker 1: so exists that I really really need to tell people

358
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:53,320
Speaker 1: to tune this noise out and live lives for themselves,

359
00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,240
Speaker 1: because that's finally where a place of peace that I've

360
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:59,879
Speaker 1: come to and I've worked really hard for and people are.

361
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:01,480
Speaker 5: Trying to take that piece away from me.

362
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:05,080
Speaker 3: I have to say, like, just this idea that if

363
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,080
Speaker 3: you are in your twenties and you're not married and

364
00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:11,800
Speaker 3: you don't have kids, that like you're so behind, that

365
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,640
Speaker 3: is so fucking crazy, Like I can't even like there's

366
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,560
Speaker 3: no other way to even really put it. Like when

367
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,879
Speaker 3: you're in your twenties, you're so young, you have so

368
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,879
Speaker 3: much of your life ahead of you, You have so

369
00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:23,760
Speaker 3: much getting to know yourself and getting to know what

370
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,000
Speaker 3: you want, what you don't want, like do you want

371
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,679
Speaker 3: to be in a relationship, what kind of relationship do

372
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:27,920
Speaker 3: you want?

373
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:28,920
Speaker 2: Like had I.

374
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:32,400
Speaker 3: Gotten married when I was in my twenties, for sure,

375
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,560
Speaker 3: I would be divorced, no question about it, because I just.

376
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:35,280
Speaker 2: Didn't know who I was.

377
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:38,000
Speaker 3: I wasn't, I wasn't like I didn't know myself enough.

378
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:42,480
Speaker 3: And so I almost feel like we're pushing young people

379
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,320
Speaker 3: into this box. This is like, oh, well, you need

380
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,879
Speaker 3: to be married with kids because society says so, or

381
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,520
Speaker 3: Matt w Wash sayso, or whoever says so. Not because

382
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:53,200
Speaker 3: it's something that's going to be good for you or

383
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:55,439
Speaker 3: something that you want, or even gonna be something that

384
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:58,680
Speaker 3: endures because I don't know. I just think that coming

385
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,560
Speaker 3: to think, like, what's the rush to force people into

386
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:05,760
Speaker 3: this life that might not even be right for them yet.

387
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,320
Speaker 3: Candace Owen did an entire segment about Julia on the

388
00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:12,800
Speaker 3: podcast Whatever. We actually talked about that specific podcast and

389
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:16,520
Speaker 3: our episode breaking down the network of Manosphere podcasts. Candace

390
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,679
Speaker 3: said that nobody should ever marry Julia because she's so

391
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,840
Speaker 3: selfish and doesn't do anything for her community. Never mind

392
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,560
Speaker 3: the fact that how would Candace Owen know what Julia

393
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,760
Speaker 3: does with and for her community from one ninety second

394
00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:33,119
Speaker 3: TikTok about how she spent one weekend. But something about

395
00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:37,640
Speaker 3: that word that Candace used, selfish really struck me. Why

396
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,240
Speaker 3: is Julia selfish because she happens to not have children

397
00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:43,159
Speaker 3: and spent a weekend cooking and resting. Who do we

398
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,119
Speaker 3: deem selfish just for living their lives?

399
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 1: Candace Owen started to speak about it, and she's posted

400
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,480
Speaker 1: about me a lot. She's started to call me selfish.

401
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 1: She called me a selfish bitch. She's called me selfish

402
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,960
Speaker 1: for not having kids and not giving back to my community.

403
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,000
Speaker 1: She doesn't know what I do for my community. But

404
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:02,000
Speaker 1: she started to selfish. And what I think is selfish

405
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:06,040
Speaker 1: is like not knowing yourself and potentially having children at

406
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:09,720
Speaker 1: that point, so you can tell Matt Walsh that you're

407
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,760
Speaker 1: more valuable in society. I think that would be selfish.

408
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:17,520
Speaker 2: That's such a good point, and that like also selfish.

409
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:18,400
Speaker 2: I don't know.

410
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 3: I really have a when you said that word, I

411
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:23,680
Speaker 3: really like, I almost a bristle, because I just think

412
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:27,280
Speaker 3: that we tell women that if you're living for yourself,

413
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:31,000
Speaker 3: if you are any kind of exploration is self exploration

414
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:35,399
Speaker 3: is like narcissistic or navel gazing. If you are living

415
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:39,200
Speaker 3: for yourself, centering yourself automatically, you are selfish.

416
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,199
Speaker 2: You're not like what you like. I don't know.

417
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,000
Speaker 3: I guess I feel like the existence of being a

418
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,560
Speaker 3: woman sometimes is this expectation that we will always be

419
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,040
Speaker 3: living for someone that is not ourselves, and if we

420
00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:52,080
Speaker 3: live for ourselves, then we're automatically doing something wrong that

421
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:52,680
Speaker 3: is selfish.

422
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:53,600
Speaker 2: Do you ever feel that.

423
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,280
Speaker 5: Way all the time?

424
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,240
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, Cannice Owns is calling me selfish, and

425
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,960
Speaker 1: all of our followers are every day for sure. I

426
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,560
Speaker 1: definitely think so. And I mean, listen, when you make

427
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:06,320
Speaker 1: the choice to have kids, I think that that you

428
00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:09,440
Speaker 1: can no longer be as selfish. I'm not speaking from experience.

429
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,919
Speaker 1: I'm not a mom, but I would imagine logically you

430
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:15,280
Speaker 1: just can't be as selfish. But in this period of

431
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:18,680
Speaker 1: time where you don't have that, you don't have those

432
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:22,040
Speaker 1: same responsibilities of having kids or having a partner, what

433
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:26,000
Speaker 1: else would you do but focus on yourself? If you're

434
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 1: I want tone in on the relationship with myself, love

435
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:33,880
Speaker 1: myself to a point where nobody can kind of take

436
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 1: that away from me. What I don't know what else

437
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,560
Speaker 1: I should be doing. There are things that I enjoy doing,

438
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,600
Speaker 1: and I do give back to my community, I do

439
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,880
Speaker 1: spend time with my family, but I don't I want

440
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:46,400
Speaker 1: to prioritize myself as well.

441
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 3: Well, that's the like, like most long term relationship you're

442
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,680
Speaker 3: gonna have in life is the one like you can't like.

443
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,120
Speaker 2: Like, who else would you be prioritizing?

444
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 3: And I think that, Like, yeah, we just tell women

445
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:04,600
Speaker 3: that most your validation needs to come from someone externally, right,

446
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,760
Speaker 3: Like it can't come from within. And I think you're

447
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 3: someone for whom I think that your validation is self validation,

448
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 3: like it comes from within, And like Matt wash or

449
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 3: candae Owen can't take that away, and I think that's

450
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,440
Speaker 3: part of what freaks them out, is that your when

451
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:21,360
Speaker 3: you have validation that is motivated from within, nobody can

452
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:23,919
Speaker 3: disturb that because it's something that you that you bring

453
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:24,560
Speaker 3: to yourself.

454
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:28,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm so like my therapist would be so

455
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,760
Speaker 1: proud because I've worked three years to get to that point.

456
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:33,920
Speaker 1: You know, I was someone who struggled with my weight

457
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,119
Speaker 1: growing up. At my heaviest weight, I was over two

458
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:40,160
Speaker 1: hundred pounds, and I needed so much constant validation from

459
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 1: other people. I found myself dating to validate myself. So finally,

460
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:48,280
Speaker 1: I've worked so freaking hard to get to this point,

461
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 1: and it was a hard journey, but like, loving yourself

462
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,879
Speaker 1: is so much easier than hating yourself. And you can't

463
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 1: control how other people are going to react to you,

464
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:00,880
Speaker 1: and I learned in this process, says, but you can

465
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 1: control how you react to yourself. That's the only person's

466
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 1: you know, actions that you can control.

467
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,879
Speaker 3: Loving yourself is so much easier than hating yourself. There

468
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,480
Speaker 3: are so many times I have needed to hear that reminder,

469
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 3: and I just really want to change the narrative around

470
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,639
Speaker 3: what we tell people especially young women, because it is

471
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 3: a good thing to be gentle with yourself and love

472
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,840
Speaker 3: yourself and be curious about yourself. The relationship that you

473
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,440
Speaker 3: have with yourself should be one that is loving and complex,

474
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,159
Speaker 3: not one where you have your own bully as a

475
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:30,680
Speaker 3: running monologue in your head.

476
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:32,159
Speaker 2: I'm just really.

477
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,439
Speaker 3: Sick of this idea that we tell folks that hating

478
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:37,359
Speaker 3: yourself and putting yourself down by default is a normal

479
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,359
Speaker 3: part of being a woman, because it's not, and we

480
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 3: should be getting our validation from within, you know, certainly

481
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:45,720
Speaker 3: not from strangers on the internet.

482
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,679
Speaker 1: No, I'm tired of it. I don't know about you,

483
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:50,359
Speaker 1: but I'm tired of it. And I hope that all

484
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,520
Speaker 1: of us take our power back from having external influences

485
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,200
Speaker 1: influence the way that we see ourselves.

486
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 2: Hell, yes, I'm so tired of it.

487
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:13,320
Speaker 3: More after a quick break, let's get right back into

488
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:17,960
Speaker 3: it completely. Anecdotally, I've seen a lot of social media

489
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:22,000
Speaker 3: content that seems geared towards scaring young people, especially women,

490
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:26,560
Speaker 3: into marriage and even beyond social media. Tim Scott, Republican

491
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,200
Speaker 3: senator from South Carolina who is currently running for president,

492
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,160
Speaker 3: just told a church full of people during a campaign

493
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,679
Speaker 3: stop that the best way to escape poverty was to

494
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 3: get married and have kids.

495
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:37,520
Speaker 2: He's single with no kids.

496
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 3: By the way, Julia hasn't seen that same wave of

497
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,359
Speaker 3: content aimed at scaring people into marriage that I've seen,

498
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,600
Speaker 3: but she says, you don't even really need to see

499
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:48,399
Speaker 3: it on social media specifically to see the ways that

500
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:52,440
Speaker 3: we're all immersed in that attitude. Have you noticed this

501
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 3: uptick and content like that on social media.

502
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:59,200
Speaker 1: It's so interesting because I got this same question when

503
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:02,679
Speaker 1: I was doing the Rolling Stone interview, and I I haven't.

504
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:07,480
Speaker 1: Maybe my algorithm knows like she's she's endured enough in

505
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 1: her life that we're gonna spare her from this content. However,

506
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,960
Speaker 1: I did just get berated in my comments, so I

507
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,160
Speaker 1: didn't see the content, but I did see the content

508
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:22,440
Speaker 1: via comment. I haven't personally, but you know, I grew

509
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:26,119
Speaker 1: up with it, so I have seen that. And like listen,

510
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 1: we all grew up on Disney movies that said that

511
00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:31,400
Speaker 1: if you find your prince charming.

512
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 5: You will live happily.

513
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:34,840
Speaker 1: Ever after that content was ingrained in me, you know,

514
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 1: early on. I haven't seen that content, but I'm sure

515
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:39,200
Speaker 1: it exists.

516
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,080
Speaker 3: And if it's how if it's like if you you

517
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:44,120
Speaker 3: don't need to see the content, if you like grew

518
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,440
Speaker 3: up immersed in it, you know, like it's everywhere, it's

519
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 3: in all the media.

520
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:48,600
Speaker 2: Yeah.

521
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,439
Speaker 3: I also had kind of a traditional upbringing and the

522
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:55,439
Speaker 3: same kind of vibe of yeah, like this is this

523
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 3: is the old this is the end of your chapter.

524
00:25:57,800 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 2: Is getting married?

525
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,480
Speaker 3: Like how many of those Disney movies end with there's

526
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,200
Speaker 3: a wedding and happily ever after, and like that's the

527
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:05,439
Speaker 3: end of her story.

528
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:09,120
Speaker 2: Her story ends there when she gets the prince. Yeah.

529
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:11,479
Speaker 1: I talked about this with someone on my podcast. I

530
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 1: was like, we need like a sequel of like what

531
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 1: happened to her after?

532
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 2: Like is she divorced?

533
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 1: Is she an alcoholic? Like what's going on with the princess?

534
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, like she got divorced and then like started a

535
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:25,920
Speaker 3: business and now she's Yeah. It's like like that's not

536
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,440
Speaker 3: the end. But I grew up thinking that like, once

537
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:30,959
Speaker 3: you got married, that was it. And again, if you're

538
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:33,159
Speaker 3: telling young women who were in their twenties that they

539
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 3: need to be getting married and that's the end of

540
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:37,120
Speaker 3: their story, there is so much left to be written

541
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:39,919
Speaker 3: in their story. And I don't want people to to

542
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,479
Speaker 3: think that like the end all be all is a marriage,

543
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 3: because there's just so much more to life, you know,

544
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,199
Speaker 3: even if you don't get married, Like I don't know

545
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 3: if I don't know if you want to be married

546
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:50,679
Speaker 3: or want to have kids, but like, even if you

547
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 3: decide that's not for you, that doesn't mean that you

548
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,239
Speaker 3: don't get to have a life that is full of

549
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:58,800
Speaker 3: joy and experiences and like, yeah, there's just so many

550
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 3: different ways to live life. I hate that we're selling

551
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:06,639
Speaker 3: this very narrow understanding of what makes a life to

552
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 3: a generation of young women.

553
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

554
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 1: I think like a message a through line of my podcast,

555
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:14,399
Speaker 1: and like a lot of my content is like you

556
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 1: know what's right for you, It's in your gut. Like

557
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:18,640
Speaker 1: if you've ever been in a relationship that's not right

558
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 1: for you, you know your gut like comes knocking and

559
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 1: you're feeling anxious, or like you read your journal entries

560
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:24,719
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, that wasn't right for me, Or

561
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 1: like if you're thinking about a move and you feel

562
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 1: really passionate about that place you want to move to,

563
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 1: your gut knows. So I think that we see so

564
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 1: many of these archetypes of lives that we should be

565
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 1: living but if you think about it, like fifteen years ago,

566
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 1: we wouldn't have assumed that we could be podcasters, right,

567
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 1: but we realized that that's something that we're passionate about

568
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 1: and we both have podcasts. Like, you really know what's

569
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,119
Speaker 1: right for you, and my through line is like, just

570
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 1: drown out the noise and figure that out, and that's

571
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:54,120
Speaker 1: your journey to figure out.

572
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, I oh, that's whatever younger people ask me for advice.

573
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:00,880
Speaker 2: That's it's some vers of that that I say.

574
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,760
Speaker 3: It's like, really try to hone in on is that

575
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 3: you got to live your life for you, and your

576
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:06,879
Speaker 3: life's work is figuring out what that is. It's going

577
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:09,760
Speaker 3: to make you happy, not your parents, not society, not

578
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 3: Matt fucking Walsh, of all people, like for you, because

579
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 3: you're the one who has to live it right. Like

580
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,240
Speaker 3: I cannot tell you the laundry list of things I

581
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,560
Speaker 3: tried to make work for me because I wanted to

582
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,119
Speaker 3: impress my parents or make them proud. And it's like,

583
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 3: I know they're going to be disappointed if I drop

584
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,200
Speaker 3: out of grad school, but like they're not the ones

585
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:29,919
Speaker 3: who have to be in the classes miserable day in

586
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:30,360
Speaker 3: and day out.

587
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 2: That's me, so I'm like, what am I doing? You know, Like,

588
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:33,879
Speaker 2: I guess.

589
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 3: Do you have any advice for people who are want

590
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 3: to like figure out what they want their life to

591
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 3: be like and how they get to a life.

592
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 2: That is a little bit more aligned with what they

593
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:45,240
Speaker 2: actually want?

594
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, this one is like a little bit more granular.

595
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 1: But I this is my first advice that I tell

596
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 1: people that is so accessible, and it's to start journaling

597
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 1: because your subconscious knows all the truths and when you

598
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 1: put it out pen to paper, it's telling you where

599
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 1: you want to go and what you want to be.

600
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 1: And like I think it's you know, whenever my friends

601
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 1: tell me, like they want a career change, I'm like,

602
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 1: you know, like what do you want to change it to?

603
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 1: They're like, I don't know, And I'm like, write down

604
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:15,880
Speaker 1: what your perfect day looks like, like when you wake

605
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,640
Speaker 1: up in the morning, what are you doing? And if

606
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 1: you spit it out pen to paper, usually you're gonna

607
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 1: get there. And it almost the dreams like almost scare

608
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 1: you so much, but let them scare you.

609
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 2: Go do it. This is my favorite advice. You have

610
00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:29,760
Speaker 2: no idea.

611
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 3: People who listen to the show might not know how

612
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:35,400
Speaker 3: much into like woo woo manifesting spirituality.

613
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 2: I am.

614
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 3: But I start every day with journaling, and you really

615
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 3: you'll look back and be like, like what you want

616
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 3: becomes clear, like it's in you, and then you see

617
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 3: it on the page and you're like, oh, it's really

618
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:48,200
Speaker 3: clear to me that I don't like this or that

619
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:48,960
Speaker 3: I do want this.

620
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 2: You know.

621
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:53,520
Speaker 3: It's also helped me just be more like navigate the

622
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 3: world with more confidence. Like if I if somebody, if

623
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, what's that really so bad what that

624
00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:58,680
Speaker 3: person said to me?

625
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,040
Speaker 2: I go back and read it, and I'm like, no,

626
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:01,480
Speaker 2: I was correct.

627
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 3: In my and the way that I felt like it

628
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:07,160
Speaker 3: almost is like it really allows you to just show

629
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 3: up to your life with a lot more insight into

630
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 3: what's going on with you. That is it's so powerful.

631
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,840
Speaker 3: So journaling, I think is a really really good tip.

632
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 3: It doesn't cost any money. You can start it today,

633
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 3: start it where you are, could just start you will

634
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 3: you will definitely see a change.

635
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 2: Like that's such a good good tip.

636
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, And don't you love looking back at your old

637
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 1: journal entries and like you're like, oh, I'm so confused

638
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 1: about this and then you're like, oh, my God, what

639
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 1: was I confused about? Or like, look how much I've improved,

640
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 1: Like I love looking at it as a timeline of

641
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 1: like you were worried about that, Wait until you see

642
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 1: the new problems, Like I'm sure that you know two

643
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 1: years ago me who was worried about like breaking up

644
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:46,960
Speaker 1: with her boyfriend would be like, wait, now you're worried

645
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 1: about like Matt Walsh and Mark Cuban came to your defense.

646
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 2: Why I know.

647
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 3: I Julia a few years ago probably could not even

648
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 3: imagine what Julia today in twenty twenty three is going

649
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:00,960
Speaker 3: through when dealing with like.

650
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 2: Life is just so interesting. So for sure, something that I.

651
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 3: Love about your work is how you really do a

652
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:10,480
Speaker 3: good job of celebrating kind of like where you are

653
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:11,400
Speaker 3: and what your life is like.

654
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 2: And I think that is so important.

655
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,960
Speaker 3: I think it is important for especially single women to

656
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:19,600
Speaker 3: make content that really takes away that stigma that's like

657
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 3: you're meant to be surrounded by cats, even though I'm

658
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 3: surrounded by cats by choice, but like really just like

659
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,600
Speaker 3: appreciating your life. And so one of my favorite things

660
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 3: when I was single was having a ton of time

661
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 3: to myself to pour into my creative work, like I

662
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 3: was never more you know, creative, and never more accomplished,

663
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:41,960
Speaker 3: and like all of that, I just had so much

664
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 3: time to focus toward my own projects. So that was

665
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:47,400
Speaker 3: something I loved being about single. What is your favorite

666
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,160
Speaker 3: part of your life as a single girl.

667
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that you can do with your time

668
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,160
Speaker 1: what you want to do. And I think it's like

669
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 1: similar to what you're saying, you know, usually when you're

670
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 1: in a relationship. I was just in a long distance

671
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 1: relationship not too long ago. I kind of had to

672
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 1: consider our schedules and figure that out. Now it's like,

673
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:10,520
Speaker 1: my schedule is mine and so if I want to,

674
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:13,840
Speaker 1: I don't know, go to like pick up and I'm

675
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:15,560
Speaker 1: moving to Austin next month. If I want to pick

676
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 1: up and move to Austin, I can do that because really,

677
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 1: like this is the time where I'm able to take

678
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 1: risks and I don't have those same attachments and I

679
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 1: can grow as a person. I love single dumb for

680
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:30,479
Speaker 1: that reason, Like you grow the most in a as

681
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:33,600
Speaker 1: a single person then in a relationship. I've found, and

682
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 1: so I really enjoy getting to do what I want

683
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 1: with my time and make time for the things that

684
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 1: are important to me and spend time with the people

685
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 1: who are important to me and really like hone in

686
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 1: on those relationships.

687
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 3: I feel like you can appreciate your relationships differently. I

688
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 3: have my brother just had his first child, So I'm.

689
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:55,640
Speaker 2: An auntie, thank you.

690
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 3: But I feel like if I had children, I would

691
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 3: be a less good aunt to my niece. Right, Like,

692
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:06,640
Speaker 3: because I don't have kids, I can like drop everything

693
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 3: and go see her. Right because I don't have kids.

694
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,720
Speaker 3: When I see her, it is not just like I'm

695
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:14,040
Speaker 3: exhausted from raising my own kids. Like I almost feel

696
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 3: like it allows for me to be appreciate what the

697
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 3: other people who are in my life in a different way.

698
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 3: And so that's something else that's like I find kind

699
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 3: of nice about, you know, not having children.

700
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 1: I agree. I know I'm an aunt as well, and

701
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 1: it's the best. I mean, I my sister won't enjoy this,

702
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 1: but I say, like, is it best because like I

703
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 1: can just like give the hard parts. It's like my

704
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:37,760
Speaker 1: sister takes it on, but I get to do all

705
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 1: the fun stuff.

706
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,280
Speaker 3: So I read an interesting piece in The National Review,

707
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 3: which is a pretty conservative outlet, about how what happened

708
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:48,240
Speaker 3: to you really made conservatives and like extremist folks look

709
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 3: bad because it was just gang up on somebody who

710
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 3: didn't do anything wrong. They do sort of imply in

711
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:55,880
Speaker 3: the piece that like it sounds like Julia knows that

712
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,520
Speaker 3: being single with no kids is not ideal, which obviously

713
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 3: I do not agree with. But do you think the

714
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 3: tide is sort of turning on this kind of you know,

715
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 3: harassment and like ganging up on people that people are

716
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:10,439
Speaker 3: going to realize that like this is not a way

717
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 3: to one just change hearts and minds, if that's what

718
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 3: you're trying to do, but to just not a good

719
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:18,360
Speaker 3: way to relate to the world. That if somebody isn't

720
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:22,000
Speaker 3: bothering you, they're just living their life. Ganging up on them,

721
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 3: especially when you have lots and lots of followers, is

722
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 3: not a good way.

723
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:28,240
Speaker 5: To live, I hope.

724
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 1: So, but I saw this video that someone made. He

725
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:37,799
Speaker 1: was like a right wing political guy, and he said, listen, like,

726
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 1: if you if the right is trying to get people

727
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:42,839
Speaker 1: to come to our side and we're trying to get

728
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,640
Speaker 1: younger voters to come to our side, this is not.

729
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:46,440
Speaker 5: The way to do it.

730
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:49,840
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, totally, Like he was like

731
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:53,000
Speaker 1: berating her and calling her stupid and depressed is like

732
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 1: not the way we're going to get voters to turn

733
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 1: to turn to the right. And so I realized, like

734
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 1: throughout this whole ordeal, how divided both sides are. And

735
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 1: I think that just like what I learned is listen,

736
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 1: I know I'm putting myself on the Internet. I understand

737
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 1: what comes with it. You get, you get mean comments,

738
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:15,800
Speaker 1: but the hate and like vitriol that was like happening

739
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:19,760
Speaker 1: saying I should be sexually assaulted, like you know, threatening

740
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:23,360
Speaker 1: me like that, I can't. I can't understand. I I

741
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:24,719
Speaker 1: just will never understand it.

742
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I I I am with you one

743
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 3: hundred percent about that. Like, like even if you were

744
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 3: someone who was like making like trollish videos, hateful videos,

745
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 3: which obviously you weren't, I would still say, like, well,

746
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 3: you don't need to like threatening someone and bringing up,

747
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 3: you know, sexual assault. That's there's never there's like, that's

748
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 3: never okay, there's never. There's never a reason for that.

749
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:50,839
Speaker 3: But yeah, like if if truly somebody thought that you

750
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:54,279
Speaker 3: were really making a like grave mistake with your life

751
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 3: or something like that, the way to get you to

752
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,320
Speaker 3: reconsider would not be to call you stupid would not

753
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 3: be to gang up and you would not be to

754
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 3: be so horrible, and so yeah, all of that is

755
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:08,200
Speaker 3: to say, like, I think your situation really shows how

756
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:13,400
Speaker 3: intense and how like insidiary conversations online have gotten that

757
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 3: someone can just wake up and be like, oh, enjoying

758
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:18,319
Speaker 3: my lovely day, and that the reaction can be so

759
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 3: intensely hateful. Thanks to the way social media platforms like

760
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 3: Twitter are currently run, Matt Walsh potentially made a lot

761
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:29,919
Speaker 3: of money from calling Julia stupid and depressed. And it's

762
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:32,400
Speaker 3: far from the first time that Matt and people like

763
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:33,160
Speaker 3: him have done this.

764
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 2: They do it to trans and queer.

765
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:37,799
Speaker 3: Youth, a lot people who might not have the same

766
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:40,880
Speaker 3: kind of support system that Julia has. Do we really

767
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:44,160
Speaker 3: want a social media landscape where people are incentivized to

768
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 3: engage in this kind of pointless cruelty because it makes

769
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 3: them money.

770
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:51,440
Speaker 1: I think something that's interesting that I don't know that

771
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:55,480
Speaker 1: Matt Walsh's followers are fully aware of, but like my

772
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,880
Speaker 1: tweek got thirty million impressions, Matt's getting a payout on

773
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 1: X So, like, I understand that this has become the

774
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:05,200
Speaker 1: way that he, you know, makes his income. I can't

775
00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 1: relate to tearing people down as making your income, but

776
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:11,200
Speaker 1: like you guys are only filling his pockets. And like

777
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, when you're threatening me

778
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:14,480
Speaker 1: with sexual assault.

779
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 5: Like what are you doing it for?

780
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:17,200
Speaker 2: Yeah?

781
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:20,719
Speaker 1: What is what is your you know, kind of impetus

782
00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:21,279
Speaker 1: for doing this.

783
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 2: That's such a good point.

784
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 3: And I think with Matt Walsh, I worry that the

785
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:28,239
Speaker 3: way that social media algorithms work is that it's going

786
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:31,799
Speaker 3: to incentivize other people to be like, well, who else

787
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,040
Speaker 3: can I find who's just like mining their business and

788
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:37,480
Speaker 3: living their lives? Who I can you know, target to

789
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:41,439
Speaker 3: make money? Like I firmly believe that like these people

790
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 3: are grifters who are lining their pockets through spreading harm

791
00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:47,439
Speaker 3: to others. I see why they do it. I don't

792
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,400
Speaker 3: really get why other people like help them and pilon,

793
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 3: I don't know what they're getting out of it. But

794
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:53,920
Speaker 3: yeah's that's such a good point.

795
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:54,839
Speaker 2: Yeah.

796
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:56,760
Speaker 1: I think it was like two days later that Emily

797
00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 1: Radikowski was his new victim, who is like beautiful and

798
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 1: wonderful and like well spoken. I'm like he knows he

799
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 1: placed his audience.

800
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:07,760
Speaker 2: I mean it almost sounds like he just really hates women.

801
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's really what it comes down to, Like

802
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:11,680
Speaker 2: who's gonna be my.

803
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:14,719
Speaker 3: Next like pretty woman to take down a peg for

804
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 3: no reason?

805
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:17,120
Speaker 5: Yeah?

806
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:20,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, he also hates trans people. He really like he's

807
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:22,240
Speaker 1: it's it's crazy.

808
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, it makes me sad that we have amplified people

809
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 3: who their whole thing is hate, Like just who do

810
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 3: you hate?

811
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:29,360
Speaker 2: Who's you know?

812
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 3: And I guess it's so funny because you said, like

813
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:35,799
Speaker 3: I can't relate to somebody who makes money this way because.

814
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 2: You have a real job.

815
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:39,680
Speaker 3: You are someone who has like a good career and

816
00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 3: like good creative projects. It's like, that's what I'm saying,

817
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:44,880
Speaker 3: is like you're you're You're you're fine, You're like living

818
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,880
Speaker 3: your best life. And the kind of person who behaves

819
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:50,359
Speaker 3: in this way, obviously this person is not happy. If

820
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:53,319
Speaker 3: I if I had to choose whose life, I'd rather

821
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 3: have somebody who went to Beyonce and then made shock

822
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:59,000
Speaker 3: shuka and had a great day or somebody who spent

823
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:00,799
Speaker 3: their day brated a stranger.

824
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 2: I think it's clear which one I'd rather choose.

825
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,719
Speaker 1: Well, thank you if you're ever in La or if

826
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 1: you're in Austin, will make shak chuku together.

827
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:10,680
Speaker 2: How was the shak shuka?

828
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:14,719
Speaker 1: It was delicious, it was amazing. I fully enjoyed it.

829
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 1: But honestly, it's been hard to eat shak schuka since

830
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 1: I can't lie.

831
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:21,040
Speaker 2: Oh, I it's funny, I was. This is such an aside.

832
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:21,440
Speaker 2: I don't know.

833
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:24,760
Speaker 3: If you're watching the new Real Housewives. One of the women, Aaron,

834
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:26,680
Speaker 3: she made shak shuka and I was like, oh, shak

835
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 3: shuka kind of had it on the brain.

836
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:30,520
Speaker 5: That's why it was on my brain too.

837
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:33,759
Speaker 1: Yes, And I said in the video that I was

838
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:36,520
Speaker 1: gonna watch Real Housewives of New York And that's what

839
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 1: Matt said that I was stupid that my life revolves

840
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 1: around celebrities and pop stars.

841
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 3: Also, it could be argued that his life revolves around

842
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,840
Speaker 3: pop stars and celebrities because he brings them up every

843
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:50,400
Speaker 3: goddamn day. You're just like watching the show. He's creating

844
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 3: entire campaigns around celebrities and pop stars. So whose life

845
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:55,319
Speaker 3: really revolves around it?

846
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 2: Yeah? I don't know where can.

847
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:01,280
Speaker 3: Folks hear the podcast? It's one of my favorite podcasts.

848
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 3: If you're not listening to it, you should be. But

849
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:04,799
Speaker 3: for folks who are not listening, where can they find

850
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 3: it tell us about it?

851
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:06,399
Speaker 4: Oh?

852
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:09,000
Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much, Bridget. I'm so glad you listened.

853
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:11,879
Speaker 1: So my podcast pretty Much Done is everywhere. Podcasts can

854
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 1: be found Spotify, Apple, Stitcher, on social, I'm pmd pod

855
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:22,320
Speaker 1: on TikTok and Instagram. My personal account is jayama Z

856
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 1: you are, and I'm post content there as well, So

857
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:26,160
Speaker 1: check it out.

858
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:37,640
Speaker 3: Got a story about an interesting thing in tech, or

859
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:39,560
Speaker 3: just want to say hi? You can reach us at

860
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:42,280
Speaker 3: Hello at tangodi dot com. You can also find transcripts

861
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:44,759
Speaker 3: for today's episode at tengodi dot com. There Are No

862
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:46,879
Speaker 3: Girls on the Internet was created by me bridget Toad.

863
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 3: It's a production of iHeartRadio and Unbossed creative Jonathan Strickland

864
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:53,440
Speaker 3: as our executive producer. Tari Harrison is our producer and

865
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:57,279
Speaker 3: sound engineer. Michael Almato is our contributing producer. I'm your host,

866
00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:00,160
Speaker 3: bridget Toad. If you want to help us grow, rate

867
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:00,760
Speaker 3: and review.

868
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:01,520
Speaker 2: Us on Apple Podcasts.

869
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 3: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, check out the iHeartRadio app,

870
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:07,239
Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.