Speaker 1: The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello here, I am
Speaker 1: welcome to the show. It's the Nicky Glazer Podcast, Podcast
Speaker 1: number two of the week. We're back me, Brian and
Speaker 1: Noah hanging out talking about meditation.
Speaker 2: Mmmm.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, we all just kind of started this week.
Speaker 3: I downloaded the Sam Harris app.
Speaker 1: Nice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know, I waking up, Yeah, waking up.
Speaker 2: The problem with meditation is just, you know, here we
Speaker 2: go people. That's everyone is so sure that meditation is
Speaker 2: the solution to your problems. It makes it's like I
Speaker 2: have this natural reflex to be to like prove everybody wrong.
Speaker 1: But you with you on the medical book?
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, exactly exactly.
Speaker 2: I'll go meditate for like seven hours a day for
Speaker 2: the next seven weeks so that I can just come back.
Speaker 3: I can still be in pain and be.
Speaker 1: Like, see, yeah, you're you're in a cynical place about it,
Speaker 1: but I get it. Yeah, yeah, I'm sold on it again.
Speaker 1: I mean I've been sold on the whole life. But
Speaker 1: I'm just back in after reading this book. I'm reading
Speaker 1: this book that it's an audiobook that was recommended to
Speaker 1: me on a Manifestation subreddit that I follow called law
Speaker 1: of attraction and it's just a bunch of people telling
Speaker 1: you what they manifested and how they did it. And
Speaker 1: someone was like, this is they were talking about some
Speaker 1: method and they said this helped me just as much,
Speaker 1: if not more than the book Feel Better No Matter What.
Speaker 1: And I was like, what's that? So I looked it
Speaker 1: up and it's a it's feel Better No Matter What
Speaker 1: by Michael James, a four week course to love the
Speaker 1: life you have right now. And there's been some interesting
Speaker 1: nuggets in it that I really liked that. He's pretty
Speaker 1: much he's he's talking about writing this book and like
Speaker 1: teaching this kind of method, and he's talking about one
Speaker 1: day in class he's a professor, and all the students
Speaker 1: afterwards are kind of like hanging out and they're like,
Speaker 1: you need to get this message out. You need to
Speaker 1: write a book, you need to do audiobook tapes, you
Speaker 1: need to have a website.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: This is like probably early two thousands. And then one
Speaker 1: of his students is like, or how about you do
Speaker 1: exactly what you're teaching us and you just love yourself more?
Speaker 1: And he was like, oh my god, yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: need all this other stuff, like all this like trying
Speaker 1: to do all these other things. The girl was like,
Speaker 1: why don't you do exactly the pre you know, practice
Speaker 1: what you preach, and love yourself more. So the whole
Speaker 1: conceit of the book is just like learning how to
Speaker 1: love yourself more and how to be the most yourself,
Speaker 1: which is the I think so cool and and like
Speaker 1: it makes me feel like that's within reach because we
Speaker 1: all have ourselves. It's just waiting for us to find it.
Speaker 3: There's a Chapel Roane within all of us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's probably still trying, Like she's young enough that
Speaker 1: she's probably still trying to be other people. So am
Speaker 1: I I think this like it's not as easy. But
Speaker 1: he does say that the best artists, any artists you
Speaker 1: know and really respect, the ones that are the musicians,
Speaker 1: can medians, playwrights, writers that are the best at what
Speaker 1: they do, really boils down to they are the most themselves.
Speaker 1: They're more themselves than any other artists. So whoever is
Speaker 1: producing art at the top level is not the most.
Speaker 1: They're the most talented, but that talent really comes from
Speaker 1: a place of they are just the most themselves and
Speaker 1: it teaches you how to do this, And there's all
Speaker 1: these different methods and they're really simple and I love it.
Speaker 2: Sometimes that can be tricky because I'm not going to
Speaker 2: name names here, but there are certain people in comedy
Speaker 2: who are lauded for being so themselves and they're sow
Speaker 2: themselves and everything they do is like confusing to most,
Speaker 2: but it's so uniquely them. And then like the industry
Speaker 2: eats that up because they love narcissists and they'll be like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, they must be a genius because I
Speaker 2: don't understand what they're doing at all, and they're so confident, right,
Speaker 2: and that shit doesn't work, it doesn't make money, it's
Speaker 2: not Maybe it's them expressing themselves in such a unique way,
Speaker 2: but I find it to be artistic bullshit. I think
Speaker 2: it's so I would.
Speaker 1: I would disagree that they I would then say that
Speaker 1: they are not actually being authentic and that they are
Speaker 1: trying to be counterculture and that.
Speaker 3: It is not themselves. Is that what's happening?
Speaker 1: So I think that, like, yeah, I think that, you
Speaker 1: know it. I'm not saying it means the most successful artists.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking like them in the most happy, most fulfilled
Speaker 1: person is just found a way to be the most themselves.
Speaker 1: Is it the most clutter out of the way, is it.
Speaker 5: The most themselves or they're doing it for themselves. Like
Speaker 5: whatever they're putting out, they're doing it like it's coming from.
Speaker 1: A place of like they know themselves and they love themselves,
Speaker 1: and they trust themselves, and they're not trying to be
Speaker 1: they're not trying to abandon what they are. And we
Speaker 1: all do this subconsciously, like conscious constantly of just trying
Speaker 1: to not be ourselves and hating ourselves, and like, if
Speaker 1: you can find a way to just truly accept who
Speaker 1: you are, you can be completely happy and have kind
Speaker 1: of a ease with which you can produce and create
Speaker 1: that other people aren't met with because it's it shouldn't
Speaker 1: feel like a battle to clear the space. That's why
Speaker 1: you meditate. Why part of this thing is so this
Speaker 1: guys four week course is like so much of it
Speaker 1: is based on meditating, because he says, it's like your
Speaker 1: brain is like a snow globe and your thoughts that
Speaker 1: are coming from every direction, which some might now I'm
Speaker 1: starting to learn about this, like these autistic kids that
Speaker 1: are getting are being able to read minds. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what if your thoughts are just like frequencies of other
Speaker 1: people's bullshit? Like what if you don't even know that
Speaker 1: your thought is as someone else's thought that's just coming
Speaker 1: into your head because your thought doesn't even if you
Speaker 1: if you know about free will and meditating, like you
Speaker 1: know that thoughts are not actual things you're producing. They're
Speaker 1: just things you're noticing and you feel like you're producing them,
Speaker 1: but you're not. They're just coming out of nowhere. And
Speaker 1: so what if those thoughts are just like someone else's bullshit?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: And like what if and when you meditate you learn
Speaker 1: that thoughts you get the thoughts out of the way.
Speaker 1: And the snow globe that is a shaken snow globe,
Speaker 1: that is all those thoughts. You can't see what's inside.
Speaker 1: You can't see the little castle or the little big
Speaker 1: bend tower or whatever is inside the snow globe because
Speaker 1: all all the snow. And then when you meditate, the
Speaker 1: snow slowly like drifts down and settles and you can
Speaker 1: see clearly what you are. And you are you know,
Speaker 1: the in the woods. Yeah, you are an Epcot Center
Speaker 1: or whatever is in there.
Speaker 2: This it's funny because it never snows at Epcot Center,
Speaker 2: except it's my point. I agree with what you're saying,
Speaker 2: but I think I have a contradiction to your snow
Speaker 2: globe analogy. I know that you love this guy and
Speaker 2: this new book is all the rage, but there's someone
Speaker 2: else for me, there's someone else that you should probably
Speaker 2: learn about. His name is Sam Harris. Yes, and he
Speaker 2: has an app called Waking Up. Yes, and he would
Speaker 2: say to this that the snow globe analogy is fine. However,
Speaker 2: the goal of the meditation practice. See, the goal of
Speaker 2: the meditation practice is not to meditate for longer and longer,
Speaker 2: but it's to become a person in a meditative state.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that all through your waking.
Speaker 2: Life, the thing that practice is now happening twenty four
Speaker 2: to seven.
Speaker 1: Yes, I agree, but I think that this guy is
Speaker 1: kind of I think eventually, if you do meditate as
Speaker 1: much as this guy says, which is he says thirty
Speaker 1: to at least twenty five minutes, start out with like
Speaker 1: this ten minute stuff is not going to clear anything.
Speaker 1: It's not going to teach you. I think his method
Speaker 1: is just saying you're going to get there sooner where
Speaker 1: it's like, once you meditate enough every day, you can
Speaker 1: kind of get to that state like if I do
Speaker 1: pilates every day for eight weeks for an hour during plates,
Speaker 1: my shoulders are always down because I'm being cute about
Speaker 1: it constantly. And then after like six weeks, I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, my shoulders like I'll naturally pull them down,
Speaker 1: not even doing pilates. And so that's I think what
Speaker 1: happens with meditating too, is that you can kind of
Speaker 1: get into that state where like the thoughts, you can
Speaker 1: kind of see. What meditating is is just like being
Speaker 1: able to acknowledge that you don't have to pay attention
Speaker 1: to every single thought because if you do, you're gonna
Speaker 1: go insane and it's just too much, and you can
Speaker 1: kind of just dodge them and not real to them.
Speaker 2: Speaking to your Like what if it's what if a
Speaker 2: thought is just someone else's frequency.
Speaker 3: It's not just other people's thoughts.
Speaker 2: The whole atmosphere is filled with frequency is coming from
Speaker 2: all sorts of different things. Yeah, there's electro, there's there's
Speaker 2: frequencies like radio waves that are being broadcast.
Speaker 3: There's obviously like your phone, you know, shooting up.
Speaker 2: Everyone's phone is shooting up into space and then coming
Speaker 2: back down to people's phones. And also just every single
Speaker 2: living thing and every single metal emits an electromagnetic frequency.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and your I was picking up radio signals in
Speaker 1: her fillings.
Speaker 3: WHOA really?
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a story in this book about Judy Garland.
Speaker 1: There's a recording of her. What that was this book?
Speaker 1: What was Oh? No, it was in that Sorry, it
Speaker 1: was in the autistic Uh, it was in the te
Speaker 1: telepathy tapes. But she there's a recording of her, and
Speaker 1: she sounded like that. She sounded like an old man,
Speaker 1: but she's tugging like this, and she's like, I I
Speaker 1: was told Buster Keaton when I got to set that
Speaker 1: I could hear a rate like that, there's a song
Speaker 1: coming in my head. And she was she was like.
Speaker 1: He asked her, were you on Mulholland it was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you passed by a ray frequency. Your fillings picked it up.
Speaker 1: And then they had other proof of guys like picking
Speaker 1: up this One guy was thought he was schizophrenic because
Speaker 1: he was hearing voices like Asian voices, and they found
Speaker 1: that they looked inside his mouth and he had like
Speaker 1: this kind of filling that picks up radio frequencies and
Speaker 1: he was picking up in underground Japanese radio like Morse
Speaker 1: code type thing. And and he was committed because they
Speaker 1: thought he was crazy at first.
Speaker 2: It was in the spotlight like fIF this is like
Speaker 2: a spy from like the you know, the Fast I.
Speaker 1: Don't know, they didn't get into it, but it was
Speaker 1: like he was committed because they thought he was crazy
Speaker 1: because he was like, I'm hearing voices and it was
Speaker 1: just a radio frequency that anyone else couldn't hear, you know,
Speaker 1: dog whistles, like yeah, they can hear stuff, like there's
Speaker 1: stuff going on all around us. And that's why the
Speaker 1: telepi yippers are scary because these kids can also see things,
Speaker 1: see people all over. They don't like the like this.
Speaker 1: One kid doesn't like the lights on or has to
Speaker 1: have the lights off at certain times because the room
Speaker 1: fills with people and a lot of kids report it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is like like Haley Joel.
Speaker 1: Like you're never really alone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's people with you right now, I mean right
Speaker 2: comfort me. If there's ghosts, that's amazing less unless ghosts
Speaker 2: are just an apparition of an energy that was there
Speaker 2: at one point, but that's consciousness is gone. That that's
Speaker 2: not that doesn't come for me at all. But if
Speaker 2: there's like conscious ghosts in my house right now. I'm
Speaker 2: so I'm thrilled to learn that amazing news.
Speaker 1: You just don't want to lose consciousness, that's right, Okay,
Speaker 1: well do when you go to Maybe that's why you're
Speaker 1: clenching your teeth when you sleep, because you're unconscious and
Speaker 1: you don't.
Speaker 2: Like it might be a loss of control. No, loss
Speaker 2: of control is definitely.
Speaker 1: That's why, like Sam Harris saying when people are scared
Speaker 1: to do psychedelics, he's like, oh you are, well. Every
Speaker 1: single night you close your eyes and go to sleep
Speaker 1: for seven hours, and you dream things that you think
Speaker 1: are completely real. Yeah, horror, horrifying things, sometimes beautiful things.
Speaker 1: Sometimes things that make no goddamn sense. People's heads splitting
Speaker 1: in half. You and your old high school with your neighbor,
Speaker 1: like a tiny dog drowning in a gut or whatever
Speaker 1: it is. Like, I see crazy shit. And he's like,
Speaker 1: every night you subject yourself to this by closing your eyes,
Speaker 1: you completely lose control. Yet no one goes I'm really
Speaker 1: scared to go to sleep, you know, like unless you're
Speaker 1: a nightmare on elmstream. Like psychedelics are the same thing.
Speaker 1: It's like doing the same people are like, but what
Speaker 1: if I see something I'm scared of? It's like you
Speaker 1: do that every night when you close your eye, you
Speaker 1: completely surrender to a world that you think is completely real,
Speaker 1: unless you're locid dreaming, which I have done before, where
Speaker 1: you're in a dream and you know you're in a dream. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you of the time, I would almost say think that
Speaker 1: your dream is is real. So what are you scared
Speaker 1: of to to do a psychedelic.
Speaker 2: I'm afraid that it would fundamentally change me. And then
Speaker 2: when and to become a person who's no longer motivated,
Speaker 2: which I've seen happen to people who do d MT,
Speaker 2: maybe not.
Speaker 1: Necessarily after one time, but that person.
Speaker 3: I wake up and you're like, what's the point of anything?
Speaker 1: Man?
Speaker 3: We're all just floating ether in the universe?
Speaker 1: And no, you know what makes give up and not
Speaker 1: give a ship is reading the news Like that is
Speaker 1: worse for my brain than probably DMT is, Like I
Speaker 1: just go, what's the point There's no Department of Education.
Speaker 1: What's the point he's taking over the Kennedy Center, what's
Speaker 1: the point? Like, what is the point of anything?
Speaker 2: Like the Kennedy Center thing is personally affecting I mean
Speaker 2: I meant to text Chris about this.
Speaker 3: Like what is this?
Speaker 1: Yeah, the Kennedy Center is where the Mark Twain Prize
Speaker 1: is and Trump has fired everyone on the board and
Speaker 1: it's all Republicans there. You want to have an agenda.
Speaker 3: Of Lee Greenwood? Is that name?
Speaker 1: I don't know, but everyone's gone, and so I don't
Speaker 1: know what it means for the upcoming Mark Twain Prize.
Speaker 1: No one knows and they don't know, so we're just
Speaker 1: all like.
Speaker 3: Kind of we're just speculating that happens.
Speaker 1: But if I really want to give up on life,
Speaker 1: I just like read the news and then that that
Speaker 1: makes me lose all motivation. I go, what's the point
Speaker 1: of writing a comedy act? What's the point of going
Speaker 1: on tour? What's the point of Like people aren't even
Speaker 1: be able to can't afford eggs and they can be
Speaker 1: able to afford tickets to go see me on a
Speaker 1: tour in twenty twenty six that I'm already trying to
Speaker 1: like plan out in my head, like probably not, Like
Speaker 1: is there going to be an arena tour when people
Speaker 1: are living homeless in an arena because there's no like water,
Speaker 1: and like that's the only safe place to take shelter.
Speaker 3: There's that Louis c.
Speaker 2: K joke in his last special where he goes, we
Speaker 2: all want to feel bad for homeless people, and you know, uh,
Speaker 2: there's I know for a fact that there's no homeless
Speaker 2: people in here right now. Homeless people can be outside,
Speaker 2: but not in here. This is a special place. It's
Speaker 2: a special place.
Speaker 1: Ever let them in here.
Speaker 2: You can't come into a building unless you have your
Speaker 2: own building that you can stay in on your own
Speaker 2: so fucked up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I saw what I thought was a homeless woman
Speaker 1: today at Starbucks listening. Not homeless, but like dressed a
Speaker 1: bit like you know, she's been in the elements. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just like maybe not ratty, but layered.
Speaker 3: A little beat down. Well it's wintertime, right, you're in
Speaker 3: Saint Louis.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like you know, like layer like dusty layers. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and like maybe not homeless, but like I'll say that
Speaker 1: she didn't look like she drove the car that I
Speaker 1: saw she drove. So she's she's listening to a rev
Speaker 1: like a reverend type guy that's like sounds like he's
Speaker 1: speaking into a megaphone on the street. But she's listening
Speaker 1: to like a podcast of it, full volume, full volume
Speaker 1: on speaker, waiting for her coffee. Oh my gosh, and
Speaker 1: I am just like I hate this woman so much,
Speaker 1: and I am I'm not gonna I'm not gonna say
Speaker 1: anything because I can't. But like I'm and I'm I'm
Speaker 1: inside with three dogs, so I can't talk, you know,
Speaker 1: like I'm waiting for my coffee. My dogs are like
Speaker 1: one of them is on me in a you know,
Speaker 1: not a case but a wrap thing carrying around my neck.
Speaker 1: And then the other two are behaving themselves, sitting and.
Speaker 3: Each of them have their own iPhones, playing their own
Speaker 3: pos and she.
Speaker 1: And they're both barking about God. And so yeah, I
Speaker 1: feel like I feel like I don't have a leg
Speaker 1: to stand on. I have eight legs, Yeah, I have
Speaker 1: no positive Well three dogs are two I have well
Speaker 1: once around my next she is not.
Speaker 3: Pause, no positive around, no pause on the ground.
Speaker 1: And then the other the two. So I literally you
Speaker 1: could someone could be talking about me on a podcast
Speaker 1: like this bitch had three dogs and a startbus and
Speaker 1: disgusting you know, she.
Speaker 3: Was carrying one of them. She wouldn't even let's pause go.
Speaker 1: I don't let them on the tables. I don't let
Speaker 1: them on the bench. I like they stay on the floor.
Speaker 1: I don't let them sniff around people's shoes, even though
Speaker 1: I would argue to say that that's nothing. Who cares?
Speaker 1: Like whenever my dog's are in the elevator and sniffing
Speaker 1: someone shoe, I'm aways like, so sorry. And it's like
Speaker 1: why do we thro apologies for a dog sniffing a shoe?
Speaker 1: Like who cares if a little nose gets on your shoelace?
Speaker 1: But like we're always like, oh sorry, And like anytime
Speaker 1: a dog sits my shoe, the owner goes, ah, sorry,
Speaker 1: and it's just like and then we gotta go through
Speaker 1: the whole thing. She smells my dog. It's like I
Speaker 1: just want let's just cut it all out, and just like, oh,
Speaker 1: but I will say this morning, when I hit the
Speaker 1: three dogs because my parents are out of town right now,
Speaker 1: it's like they're coming back tomorrow. Don't rob their house,
Speaker 1: and tomorrow has already happened when you're hearing this, So mom, Dad,
Speaker 1: your house is safe. So anyway, I had the three
Speaker 1: dogs and I'm in the elevator and they're just like
Speaker 1: they're all so cute, you know, and A girl gets
Speaker 1: on the elevator and she goes, oh my god, this
Speaker 1: is the best day of my life. And I am
Speaker 1: like tired, I'm in a rush. The dogs are like gol.
Speaker 1: They won't stand still trying to leash them because I
Speaker 1: don't leash them till we get in the elevator, and
Speaker 1: I go, this is the worst day of my life. Oh,
Speaker 1: and I go, I'm just kidding, but this is like
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Like if I saw a girl struggling with
Speaker 1: three dogs, I wouldn't go poppies and like make them excited,
Speaker 1: Like why don't like I think people are losing empathy.
Speaker 1: I really think people are like there there is noneymore.
Speaker 1: This girl is a perfectly nice girl. I'm like she
Speaker 1: was only like happy to see dogs. Why, well, look
Speaker 1: my dog's coming in because I made a dog sound.
Speaker 1: But like I just I was like I was running
Speaker 1: through it when I was meditating later, which is obviously
Speaker 1: really good for my psyche, even though I'm just using
Speaker 1: it to like bitch and moan. But I was like
Speaker 1: if I saw girls struggling on the floor trying to
Speaker 1: leash three dogs when I entered the elevator, and I
Speaker 1: was very excited to see those dogs. Would I put
Speaker 1: my enthusiasm over this girl's like trying to do what
Speaker 1: she's got to do.
Speaker 3: I would turn around.
Speaker 1: I think I would just go like I wouldn't go puppies.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Some people can't help themselves. It's like that.
Speaker 1: I don't care. I don't care that is about you.
Speaker 1: I am so sick of it.
Speaker 3: Empathy for their impulse.
Speaker 1: No, we're all whoever. It's like the right of way
Speaker 1: when you pull up to a stop sign. The person
Speaker 1: who gets there first gets the right, gets to go next,
Speaker 1: like you just or if a pregnant woman on a subway,
Speaker 1: whoever struggling the most, gets the seat. I'm struggling the most,
Speaker 1: you give me the seat. If I don't know what's going.
Speaker 1: If I knew what that she was depressed and just
Speaker 1: found out her mom had cancer and is on hospice
Speaker 1: and is dying, I would give her the win, right,
Speaker 1: But I didn't know that. There was no context for that.
Speaker 1: So the context of the situation is like she had
Speaker 1: enough room to see me struggling with the dogs. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's same.
Speaker 5: Awareness not empathy has nothing to do with empathy.
Speaker 1: Why people are to Losa. I think it's empathy and
Speaker 1: self awareness. I think it's both. But isn't empathy like
Speaker 1: acknowledging that someone's having a hard time and changing your
Speaker 1: behavior to min maybe fit that. Or am I just
Speaker 1: a child of an alcoholic who's always trying to look
Speaker 1: out for other people's like discomfort and trying to make
Speaker 1: them comfortable, because I find I am so good about
Speaker 1: not be like not on this podcast necessarily, but like
Speaker 1: outside in the world, like I am not someone who's
Speaker 1: like making things about me. I don't think that often,
Speaker 1: and I try to outside of my work environment, like
Speaker 1: when I'm when people are on payroll and it has
Speaker 1: to be about me. I've learned, like you gotta kind
Speaker 1: of make it about you. That's like the way it is.
Speaker 1: So I can't really like I can't speak to that,
Speaker 1: and I'm deeply it took me years to even get
Speaker 1: to get comfortable with people putting my needs above theirs
Speaker 1: because they are working for me. But anyway, but when
Speaker 1: it's like a general thing, like I just don't feel
Speaker 1: like I feel like I'm always looking out for other
Speaker 1: people's comfort, Like I just read this thing on Reddit. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is a big one. Okay, people were talking on
Speaker 1: the subredd It was the question was I think reddit
Speaker 1: really helps me be empathetic. I would actually implore people
Speaker 1: to go on it because you read about other people's experiences,
Speaker 1: and people are very honest and tell their own stories,
Speaker 1: and it's the closest to an AA meeting you can get,
Speaker 1: I swear to God. And also twelve Step meetings have
Speaker 1: also made me because you get to hear people's stories
Speaker 1: that you wouldn't. You only surround yourself with like minded
Speaker 1: people like we all do. Like our families sometimes have
Speaker 1: non like minded people around them. You see a couple
Speaker 1: times a year your uncles and strange cousins or whatever.
Speaker 1: But generally, our friends and the family that we keep
Speaker 1: around us are all people that kind of are like
Speaker 1: in the same vibe as us. So when you gotta look,
Speaker 1: that's why movies and books are important. You like live
Speaker 1: in someone else's experience and head. But there was a
Speaker 1: subreddit that was like, asked reddit about how do you
Speaker 1: know someone's had a bad childhood and the number one
Speaker 1: answer was they don't talk about their family. And then
Speaker 1: an answer to that was was someone that I was
Speaker 1: relate to someone goes I rarely ask people about their
Speaker 1: family unless they offer it, because I don't want to
Speaker 1: ever put them in a position to say, actually I
Speaker 1: hate my mom and actually my dad left when I
Speaker 1: was three, or my grandpa abused me. Like I don't
Speaker 1: ask people about their siblings in case their siblings are
Speaker 1: dead or like there's something or they're estranged from them,
Speaker 1: Like unless they offer for it, or unless they ask
Speaker 1: me about mine, that's kind of signals to me that
Speaker 1: they're someone who asks about families. But if someone doesn't
Speaker 1: ask you about your family or talk about theirs, don't
Speaker 1: go prying if you don't know them, because you're probably
Speaker 1: gonna get or they might just be I love when
Speaker 1: they're just really blunt, they're like my mom's dad. I
Speaker 1: just like I love that. I love when someone just
Speaker 1: like shuts you down. It's like you don't get to
Speaker 1: ask me about that. So I thought that was a
Speaker 1: really interesting answer because I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: go like, that's such a normal question to ask, like
Speaker 1: what about your siblings? Where are they?
Speaker 2: Or do you have the most dangerous question of all
Speaker 2: do you have any kids?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my god, I ask about Oh
Speaker 1: my god. I mean, I'll save this for after the break.
Speaker 1: But I have an example of something that I asked
Speaker 1: that could have been an uncomfortable question, but I don't
Speaker 1: think it was after this. So I'm at the So
Speaker 1: I'm at the NFL Honors, I'm waiting for the car
Speaker 1: after Bill Belichick's girlfriend talks to me. Actually was before that.
Speaker 1: Chris is talking into a friend from production that he
Speaker 1: ran into. I see this guy in a wheelchair kind
Speaker 1: of roll up so to speak, and literally m hm,
Speaker 1: and he's with a friend and he goes and I
Speaker 1: kind of see them like talk and like maybe clock me.
Speaker 1: I think this was them, because there was a couple
Speaker 1: of people that clocked me and then asked for a
Speaker 1: picture of stuff. It was very nice, but I would
Speaker 1: kind of see the talk happened before they asked for
Speaker 1: the picture of like hey, do you think that that's her?
Speaker 1: And then they're like, you know, like they kind of
Speaker 1: think you're a zoo animal and you can't hear like
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 3: Understand they start at you.
Speaker 1: They don't understand that. Like in fire like you can
Speaker 1: if your friend who's two feet away can hear you,
Speaker 1: the girl that's five feet away can probably hear you.
Speaker 3: Toolengths anyway.
Speaker 1: And yeah, and you're saying my name, which I'm like
Speaker 1: a tuned to hear already because people know their name anyway.
Speaker 1: But this I see. They they say like, hey, are
Speaker 1: you Niku Lazer? I'm like, yeah, And there's this guy
Speaker 1: in this wheelchair and I can just tell he's not
Speaker 1: permanently in a wheelchair. I don't know how I can tell.
Speaker 2: I just know like he's injured. Maybe he broke his
Speaker 2: leg or something. He's not like one of those guys
Speaker 2: who's just wheeling around.
Speaker 1: For that doesn't look like a perme it doesn't have
Speaker 1: like stickers on it. There's not like a warmness to
Speaker 1: the wheelchair. There's not like a comfort in the wheelchair.
Speaker 3: Looking it's a nice chair.
Speaker 1: I think it was a nice chair. It just did it.
Speaker 1: He did it. He was like sitting in it in
Speaker 1: a way that seemed like his body worked mostly, you know,
Speaker 1: like I think people who are chronically in a wheelchair
Speaker 1: have a are the wheelchairs almost part of them? Like
Speaker 1: you sense that it's like it's them. Yeah, And I'm
Speaker 1: saying this all with no fucking judgment. Yeah, he could
Speaker 1: have been like yeah, but I don't think he would
Speaker 1: have been out and being like Nikki Glazer and like,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know if if he was permanent,
Speaker 1: but I could have been wrong, that's the thing. I
Speaker 1: could have been barking up a terrible tree. So he goes,
Speaker 1: I go, I go, what happened to you? And I
Speaker 1: asked this to people all the time, if they have
Speaker 1: like a cast or wheelchair like not actually, if they
Speaker 1: have a cast or if they have a rolling like
Speaker 1: kind of you know, a boot, I generally don't because
Speaker 1: I'm like, they're getting it all the time. But if
Speaker 1: they're coming to a meet and greet, I do because
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, Nikki Glazer asked me about it. But
Speaker 1: if it's like you know, I'd find a time in
Speaker 1: a place.
Speaker 3: I are certain people who love that. Like if you
Speaker 3: have a cast, I read the room.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, remember in like elementary school or middle school, when
Speaker 2: someone would break an arm and then they would have
Speaker 2: a cast, it'd be like they'd be like the celebrity
Speaker 2: for the next time.
Speaker 5: Yes, totally totally to get autographs and stuff.
Speaker 2: Get those autographs and if you get as the autograph,
Speaker 2: oh my god, you're such a lie.
Speaker 1: I wanted a broken leg or broken arm so much.
Speaker 1: The first this is such a sad story. My mom
Speaker 1: broke her foot when she was cleaning up our playroom
Speaker 1: when I was little because she dropped a cookie monster
Speaker 1: piano that we had on her foot.
Speaker 3: That's why they recalled it. I mean, those are things
Speaker 3: We're heavy.
Speaker 1: And so I, as a three year old, picked up
Speaker 1: the cookie monster piano and would just drop it onto
Speaker 1: my foot over and over because I thought that's the
Speaker 1: only way to break your foot and get a cool casts.
Speaker 1: It's the urgent story of comedy of everything. I just
Speaker 1: wanted attention. I cannot believe I didn't turn into a
Speaker 1: hypochondriac who just is constantly getting sick. Not the kind
Speaker 1: that is just anxiety, but the kind that gets sick
Speaker 1: to get attention. I can't believe I didn't turn into that.
Speaker 1: Like I literally it doesn't make sense. I my parents
Speaker 1: told me that there was like a poison ivy bush
Speaker 1: and if you if you go near that, you're gonna
Speaker 1: like break out in poison ivy and it will be
Speaker 1: very bad. And I went right to the bush and
Speaker 1: I took a leaf I remember it still to this day,
Speaker 1: and I just rubbed it all over like it was
Speaker 1: a loofah all over my body and my parents were like,
Speaker 1: what happened? Oh my oh it was it was down
Speaker 1: my throat. I mean it was everything was terrible. I
Speaker 1: was too young to really remember, but I remember. I
Speaker 1: remember grabbing the leaf and knowing like I'm being bad,
Speaker 1: and I rubbed it everywhere anyway.
Speaker 2: So this day, you don't, you don't treat germs with
Speaker 2: any sort of yeah or respect.
Speaker 1: Actually I do respect them. I don't go like I'm
Speaker 1: scared of you. They're one of me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well I think I like you're a germ too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I am, for sure, I'm covered in them.
Speaker 2: Perhaps your childhood, your youthful zest for engaging in these
Speaker 2: dangerous activities, created a sense of immunity in your body
Speaker 2: that now neglect the negated your ability to become a
Speaker 2: hypochondriac because you simply just don't get can can I
Speaker 2: get sick?
Speaker 1: But I did get chronic sign of infections as a kid.
Speaker 1: And yeah, but I also I will say that I
Speaker 1: was My first word was dangerous, and I would point
Speaker 1: out things that were dangerous. And I was the most
Speaker 1: terrified child that anyone has ever known until seventh grade
Speaker 1: till probably even now, I like, I get anxiety around
Speaker 1: dangerous things, but when it comes to like me inflicting
Speaker 1: pain on myself, not scared me having like a injury
Speaker 1: to the point of death. I won't even touch any
Speaker 1: I won't go on roller coasters, you know. But if
Speaker 1: it's something that I'm like, I'm not scared of. Get
Speaker 1: I wasn't scared of. I wasn't scared of COVID. I
Speaker 1: have to be honest, I wasn't. I'm not scared of No.
Speaker 1: Oh god, I think I've gone off on this podcast
Speaker 1: about bees. Like I am so annoyed at girls that
Speaker 1: are go like and like they run around or they
Speaker 1: like scream when there's a bee. It's like, the only
Speaker 1: reason the bee's gonna sting you is because you act
Speaker 1: like that. If you just stay still, they don't sing you.
Speaker 1: And I know there's besties listening being like, oh bitch,
Speaker 1: I've stayed still and didn't even know a bee was
Speaker 1: on me and it sung me before. You know that
Speaker 1: can happen, But it's just stay calm, just inspect the bees,
Speaker 1: and you know what, take one for the team, and
Speaker 1: they're not gonna sting you unless they're threatened. They probably
Speaker 1: got threatened when they when you weren't screaming, and they
Speaker 1: still sung you. Somehow something you did threaten them. But
Speaker 1: certainly waving your arms around and acting like a lunatic
Speaker 1: is gonna make them go, oh my god, I'm about
Speaker 1: to die. I should just sting her and sacrifice my
Speaker 1: life and you know, commit Harry Cary or what.
Speaker 3: I want to hear it.
Speaker 2: This is a quick tale of my most badass moment
Speaker 2: in life. Probably I was standing at an outside a pool,
Speaker 2: maybe it was a camp or something, and a bee
Speaker 2: landed on my shoulder and started to sting me, and
Speaker 2: with two fingers I picked it up and threw it
Speaker 2: away and then its stinger didn't get stuck in me. WHOA, Yeah,
Speaker 2: it was a bumblebe. I don't even know if they can
Speaker 2: sting you, Honestly, I'm.
Speaker 1: It's literally the same story that I have. One of
Speaker 1: the coolest things I ever did was I was like
Speaker 1: four or five and we were on the river and
Speaker 1: my dad was like fishing and I was just sitting
Speaker 1: next to him after work. He was like, what, we
Speaker 1: were just sitting on the dock or something. Maybe he
Speaker 1: wasn't fishing. We're just looking at the river, because we
Speaker 1: lived on a river until I was six, and there
Speaker 1: was a giant, giant spider the whole size of my
Speaker 1: shoulder on my naked shoulder, and my dad goes Nikki
Speaker 1: and he knew how scared I was of things, and
Speaker 1: I remember being calm as a cucumber and just going
Speaker 1: like this and flicking it off, very calmly, and my
Speaker 1: dad was like, that was the coolest thing I've ever seen.
Speaker 1: And ever since then, I've like really had prided myself
Speaker 1: on not freaking out about bugs on me. Yeah, like,
Speaker 1: if it's near me, I'll kind of like, if it's
Speaker 1: a centipede near me, I like I literally moved out
Speaker 1: of an apartment once and slept on my friend's couch
Speaker 1: because there was a house cent apede in my butt.
Speaker 1: I was also going through some psychological issues at the time.
Speaker 2: But enipedes aren't poisons. Millipeds are the ones you gotta
Speaker 2: look out for.
Speaker 3: Anyway.
Speaker 1: I don't care about poison. I just care about like
Speaker 1: I need. I don't like it's the legs.
Speaker 3: It's this too many legs.
Speaker 1: It's the quickness. It's like how the legs. There's thousands
Speaker 1: of them and they almost make a wave like that,
Speaker 1: like you can't even see the individual legs. It's just
Speaker 1: like a wave. It's like an eel. Almost disgusting. And
Speaker 1: I don't like a bug that doesn't have a plan.
Speaker 1: I don't like bugs that don't know where they're going
Speaker 1: and they trying to just like they're I like that.
Speaker 1: I don't like daddy long legs when they just decide
Speaker 1: to like crawl and then they go against the wall flat.
Speaker 1: I really don't like that at all. I think that's
Speaker 1: so disgusting.
Speaker 2: The ears or the little uh what do they call
Speaker 2: the silverfish?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, those.
Speaker 1: Silverfish are disgusting.
Speaker 2: I was wrong by the way that centipedes are poisonous everybody.
Speaker 2: They definitely don't go eat centipedes, but millipedes are considered
Speaker 2: not poisons.
Speaker 3: To go ahead.
Speaker 1: Yeah they're slow, but I don't like those at all either.
Speaker 3: They have so many legs. How are they slower? They've
Speaker 3: got a million legs?
Speaker 1: Like how like how if you were to, like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, if you were to like accidentally kick one,
Speaker 1: it might like chop it in half and then it
Speaker 1: would just be struggling and you have to like put
Speaker 1: it out of your out of its misery.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: When I was in hold On, when I was in Hawaii,
Speaker 1: we were at this amazing resort shout out four seasons
Speaker 1: in Lanai. But there were these big chunky big boy
Speaker 1: no that's the one in Maui. They were these big chunky,
Speaker 1: big boy frogs toads that would appear at twilight and
Speaker 1: then they'd be out on the paths at all night long,
Speaker 1: and they didn't get out of the way if you
Speaker 1: shuffled your feet, they just like stood there. And so
Speaker 1: there were multiple times I almost stepped on these frogs
Speaker 1: and the paths weren't lit like it kind of like
Speaker 1: lets you kind of like walk where you want. And
Speaker 1: I was like, Chris, this is so awful. I bet
Speaker 1: people step on these frogs all the fucking time. That
Speaker 1: why is why don't they tell people when they check
Speaker 1: into the hotel, like we have a lot of these
Speaker 1: little frogs and you know, just when yous, I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's a seasonal thing, it's lots of frogs
Speaker 1: out because they were just you know, like when baby
Speaker 1: birds are out for the first time, Like they don't
Speaker 1: understand that cars can help. These guys were fatty boys
Speaker 1: I mean they some of them were the size of
Speaker 1: a coffee mug, you know, and some were like little
Speaker 1: some were fucking bullfrog, big fatties, and you would just
Speaker 1: step on it and they wouldn't even try to like move.
Speaker 1: You would just you could just like squish it. And
Speaker 1: I can't think of anything worse than squish it the
Speaker 1: frog with your fucking foot. And so I was like, Chris,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna talk to them like they need when you
Speaker 1: check in, there needs to be like, hey, by the way,
Speaker 1: we have lots of frogs and at night, if you
Speaker 1: would use your flasklight on your phone so you don't
Speaker 1: step on them, yeah, that would not for that and
Speaker 1: you and yeah, and Chris was like, don't do that,
Speaker 1: and I was like or he was like, you're not
Speaker 1: gonna do that, and I go, you you watch me.
Speaker 1: And so the next day at lunch, one of the
Speaker 1: guys came up and was like, how's your stay? And
Speaker 1: I was like, it's been amazing. Can I just give
Speaker 1: you a suggestion, like when the guests check in, can
Speaker 1: you just like warn them about the frogs? Because I
Speaker 1: almost stepped on a frog and I I I care
Speaker 1: about animals more than I care about myself. And I
Speaker 1: almost stepped on a frog and I was being so cautious, Like,
Speaker 1: and I knew about the frogs. People who don't know
Speaker 1: about the frogs. You don't even if your guys don't
Speaker 1: care about the livelihood of these frogs, Like, do you
Speaker 1: want your guests to squish a frog with their foot?
Speaker 1: Like that's a disgusting thing, Like you should warn them.
Speaker 1: And he seemed to like take it seriously. But I
Speaker 1: don't think it's going.
Speaker 2: To So all.
Speaker 1: I do is just think about all these poor frogs
Speaker 1: that are trying to get back to their babies to
Speaker 1: like feed them or what. Maybe they don't, maybe they
Speaker 1: just hatch it and they're on their own. But like,
Speaker 1: just why would you want, like, don't step on frogs,
Speaker 1: don't like, don't don't try to step on animals, don't
Speaker 1: squish bugs. Just be nice to animals, please God. If
Speaker 1: you see a bird, help it. Don't be scared to
Speaker 1: pick up a bird if it's.
Speaker 3: It's up a bird.
Speaker 1: No, it's a lie. That is a lie.
Speaker 2: If you see in a bandit lie propagated by the
Speaker 2: anti animal industry.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well I don't know what's propagated by but It's
Speaker 1: not true that a mama bird will not touch her
Speaker 1: baby bird again because you touched it. That's not true.
Speaker 1: If you see an abandoned bird that's like struggling on
Speaker 1: the ground, definitely help it. Definitely call the local like
Speaker 1: animal authority. This guy that I follow on Instagram who
Speaker 1: is like an animal rights activist, he was walking down
Speaker 1: the street in Toronto and he saw a rat that
Speaker 1: was kind of just like like kind of out of it,
Speaker 1: almost like concussed, just kind of like you know when
Speaker 1: you just see an animal that's kind of like breathing
Speaker 1: heavy and like staring, and you're just like what do
Speaker 1: I do? This guy fucking stopped. Everyone's just walking by
Speaker 1: this rat going a rat and then he stopped and
Speaker 1: stayed with it. Called animal control, like the animal people
Speaker 1: that actually care, and he got the rat help. Can
Speaker 1: you believe like a little rat, a street rat got
Speaker 1: help from someone, Like why don't they deserve that? Like
Speaker 1: I don't understand that just because they're a rat, everyone
Speaker 1: just hates them. And if you use glue traps, stop
Speaker 1: listening to this podcast now. I literally don't want you
Speaker 1: to ever come to a show. I don't want you
Speaker 1: to ever be a fan of mine. I don't like you.
Speaker 1: If you use glue traps for bugs, for animals, you
Speaker 1: are a bad person. You are cruel, and I don't
Speaker 1: like you. I think glue traps are disgusting. I really
Speaker 1: should start a campaign that like gets glue traps taken
Speaker 1: out of home depots. I think they are so awful.
Speaker 1: They just tortured animals because you're too much of a
Speaker 1: pussy to just kill it right away. I understand mouse traps,
Speaker 1: but get ones. Don't even get humane ones because you
Speaker 1: know you're not gonna empty them out because you feel
Speaker 1: grossed out, so you just let the fucking mouse starve
Speaker 1: inside of the goddamn thing because you think it's humane
Speaker 1: or something. If you unless you go and take those
Speaker 1: nice and you let them out in the woods, then
Speaker 1: don't get a humane trap. Just get the ones that
Speaker 1: snap its neck. I'd rather none of it. I probably
Speaker 1: would just live amongst mice if it was up to me.
Speaker 1: But get the ones that snap their neck. Do not
Speaker 1: get glue traps. Do not get glue traps. They'll just
Speaker 1: have to chew their fucking foot off to get out,
Speaker 1: and then they'll die of blood loss anyway, So I'm
Speaker 1: waiting for my car and this guy in this wheelchair
Speaker 1: comes up to me. Yes, And if you have a
Speaker 1: glue trap in your house, you shouldn't be listening to
Speaker 1: pos Cast anymore. I don't want your I don't want
Speaker 1: your fandom.
Speaker 2: What I have got this guy in the wheelchair, what if
Speaker 2: he has a glue trap?
Speaker 1: I forgive him because of what happened to him.
Speaker 3: Oh so you know the truth?
Speaker 1: Well, okay, if you if you get rid of your
Speaker 1: glue traps now you and realize they are of your ways,
Speaker 1: you absolutely Because I think some people just don't even think,
Speaker 1: but I would. I would say that you should probably
Speaker 1: be seventeen years old.
Speaker 3: There's always time for a damn pap.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: But like you don't have an excuse. You should have
Speaker 1: thought if you're in your thirties and you use a
Speaker 1: glue trap, I don't no excuse. I don't even care
Speaker 1: if you change your ways. I don't you like, aren't
Speaker 1: thinking about other people unless you really have, like a company,
Speaker 1: someone with me to go psychedelics.
Speaker 2: Like those things you hang from the ceiling and it's
Speaker 2: like a strip of glue and it's supposed to capture bugs. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's a glue trap for bugs. Okay, it's stupid, Like
Speaker 2: just let the bugs fly. I mean, like, how many
Speaker 2: bugs do you have?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: I you don't even my mom And I got so
Speaker 1: bad at my dad because the he like found this cool.
Speaker 6: Thing that's like you take a two liter soda and
Speaker 6: you cut it in half and then you flip the
Speaker 6: top and then they go in and they can't get out.
Speaker 6: And these goddamn stink bugs that stink because you can't
Speaker 6: stomp them, Nikki, because if you stomp them, then they stink.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, then, who gives shit? Just stink, I
Speaker 1: don't care. Get a get a sock that always just stinks,
Speaker 1: and then put that in a bucket and turn the
Speaker 1: bucket over so you can't smell the sock, and like
Speaker 1: that's your stink bug sock like everybody else like, and
Speaker 1: my mom goes they just they just they just writhe
Speaker 1: around in this this liquid and your dad just drowns them.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, Dad, this is so inhumane. I got
Speaker 1: so mad at my dad. It was like the biggest
Speaker 1: fight we've been in a really long time. Because bugs
Speaker 1: feel pain too, But like whatever, you glue traps for
Speaker 1: flies I'll let go. But if you have a glue
Speaker 1: trap on the ground where lizards and chameleons and mice
Speaker 1: and rats and even centipedes and more like sentient bugs
Speaker 1: in my mind, beetles, big bugs are getting trapped, you're
Speaker 1: you're you're committing genocide of a species. To me, I
Speaker 1: think it's disgusting and I think you should be ashamed
Speaker 1: of yourselves. But if you're seventeen or younger, you can
Speaker 1: change your ways. But if you're older than seventeen, come
Speaker 1: on your Your frontal lob should be totally twenty five.
Speaker 1: I think it's fun on a loabe, Okay, so I'll
Speaker 1: make pick off twenty five. So if you're renting cars
Speaker 1: and killing mice with the glue trap, you're a bad person.
Speaker 2: If you're statutory genocidal maniac, then you can still redeem yourself.
Speaker 1: But if you can ply yell at me because I'm
Speaker 1: wearing fast fashion and because I'm using a phone that
Speaker 1: was used with like, you know, micro chips that were
Speaker 1: mined by children in sub Saharan Africa, So I am also,
Speaker 1: but I'm not as I'm not as connected to it,
Speaker 1: you know what am I? And I'm actually able to
Speaker 1: get out this information through my phone to like, so
Speaker 1: I'm actually using the are you losing your glue trap
Speaker 1: to send out positive messages about veganism? I don't think so.
Speaker 1: So unless you can prove to me that you're spelling
Speaker 1: out go vegan with glue traps to uh pilots over
Speaker 1: over overhead, then I then I don't think it's right.
Speaker 1: So I'm waiting for my car. In this this guy
Speaker 1: is in.
Speaker 3: Wheelchair person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I go, what happened to you and his rent?
Speaker 3: Ghost?
Speaker 1: Whoa way to you? Like I could hear there's like
Speaker 1: something he was like the guy that my foot was
Speaker 1: run over in the French quarter on.
Speaker 3: Yeah day, Man, I saw this. I saw this comment.
Speaker 2: I didn't want to say it because I didn't want
Speaker 2: to be like perceived as a joke because it wasn't.
Speaker 1: I was beside myself. Yeah, his foot was run over
Speaker 1: by the guy that you know, pledged allegiance to Isis
Speaker 1: had the flag going. Well, I don't even know his name.
Speaker 1: I don't think they like really put it out there
Speaker 1: as much. And I think there was a tragedy like
Speaker 1: the next day and so everyone forgot. But well, the fires, yeah,
Speaker 1: the fires were a couple days later. But the guy
Speaker 1: that sped down the French Quarter going like eighty miles
Speaker 1: an hour, this guy was hit by him, and and I.
Speaker 4: I.
Speaker 1: Can't say that.
Speaker 5: Man.
Speaker 1: I saw something that this guy had that showed me
Speaker 1: what he's been through. And he was in the I
Speaker 1: mean I told him, I go dude. First of all,
Speaker 1: he was like, you're my favorite comedian. And I was like,
Speaker 1: you're my favorite terrorist attack victim like that I've ever met.
Speaker 1: And so I and I was being serious because I
Speaker 1: was like, I've never met one before. You know, I
Speaker 1: don't think, but I was like, I can't believe I'm
Speaker 1: meeting someone so close to this insane thing that happened,
Speaker 1: like he was there. So he s at the NFL honors,
Speaker 1: he got tickets to the super Bowl, Like, you.
Speaker 3: Know who this is because I saw.
Speaker 1: Video about Kantie. Yes, he's a football player, my friend.
Speaker 1: He went to West Point. He did two tours in
Speaker 1: the military.
Speaker 3: I believe, no, maybe he never played football.
Speaker 1: Is west Point Namy?
Speaker 3: West Point is is Army, isn't it?
Speaker 1: Oh okay, yeah, well he did. Yeah, he did the
Speaker 1: he did two tours.
Speaker 2: So I saw a thing on Sports Center on where
Speaker 2: everyone watching the Sports Center now, which is Instagram about
Speaker 2: this guy who went to the French Quarter with his
Speaker 2: friend and then his friend got hit by the car
Speaker 2: and he got injured too.
Speaker 1: This guy was by himself, by himself, well he was
Speaker 1: with friends earlier in the night, but he you know,
Speaker 1: it was three in the morning, and he was like
Speaker 1: kind of literally sauntering home. Based on the footage, and
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you he is dead center of
Speaker 1: the road when this guy comes by and you can
Speaker 1: just see him kind of look and like hear something
Speaker 1: and he turns just to see in the way. He
Speaker 1: turns and kind of jumps out of the way. I
Speaker 1: mean he was in the center where the center of
Speaker 1: the car was and the car was going eighty miles
Speaker 1: an hour, can you believe that? And it just it
Speaker 1: ran over his foot.
Speaker 3: It broke like he like sprinted away all the bones
Speaker 3: in his foot, just barely.
Speaker 1: I mean, I saw something. I don't know that I
Speaker 1: can say that I saw something, but I saw something
Speaker 1: that he had in his possession for himself to not
Speaker 1: have show any you know, it's not out there, but
Speaker 1: he had he had footage of it, and I got
Speaker 1: to see the most shocking footage I've ever seen in
Speaker 1: my life of like someone's just touch with death. Have
Speaker 1: you ever seen the video where there's a guy. It's
Speaker 1: one of the most spooky things I've ever seen. There's
Speaker 1: a guy it's like you know CCTV footage, and he's
Speaker 1: kind of walking and then a guy walks past him
Speaker 1: and taps him on the shoulder. And the guy turns
Speaker 1: and as he turns, a fucking car comes by that
Speaker 1: with like a big steel beam on it or something.
Speaker 1: And because the person that tapped him on the shoulder
Speaker 1: right before and keeps walking by does that, he's able
Speaker 1: to not get hit by this beam. So it's like
Speaker 1: a guardian Angel came by. And they don't even know
Speaker 1: who that person was. Feels that's say this, Oh my,
Speaker 1: it's not it's it's I think it's verified. It's it's
Speaker 1: been around for years and years, but they don't know
Speaker 1: who he was. They don't know anything. The guy just
Speaker 1: disappeared into the night. But you see this guy come
Speaker 1: up and tap him. If you want to google it,
Speaker 1: I'm serious. It's one of the coolest videos I've ever seen.
Speaker 1: Just look at guardian angel tapping yeah, guy on shoulder. Yeah,
Speaker 1: snopes it. So anyway, I met this guy Adam. He
Speaker 1: was so nice, so cool, seemed a little like seemed
Speaker 1: like like, you know, just seemed a little like not sad,
Speaker 1: but like you know, he's just been through the most
Speaker 1: insane thing ever. It's like a month ago, so it's
Speaker 1: probably like the the support is kind of dying down
Speaker 1: a little bit. So it just felt like I can
Speaker 1: only imagine like what he's going through mentally. But he
Speaker 1: is really strong because he said he's you know, seen
Speaker 1: some stuff overseas and stuff that he's you know, he's
Speaker 1: been through psychological trauma based on this kind of stuff before.
Speaker 1: But I asked him, I was like, because then I
Speaker 1: invited into the Burt Show, and he showed up at
Speaker 1: the Birch Show. Was so much fun, he got to
Speaker 1: come back stage. Initially we were like, I didn't know
Speaker 1: if he could like come with all his friends to
Speaker 1: the party, but then Bert was like, yeah, sure whatever,
Speaker 1: I don't care. So I got to bring him to
Speaker 1: this after party. They met all these athletes, they met Bert,
Speaker 1: they met everyone on the show, They met Adam Devine,
Speaker 1: they met you know, doctor phil Is Adam Ray that
Speaker 1: like they're just like him and all his friends are
Speaker 1: just like hanging with all these guys, and and he
Speaker 1: was just you could just tell he had a great time.
Speaker 1: And it made me so happy to give him that
Speaker 1: because he was just like a really cool dude that
Speaker 1: I like was like, oh my god, I could I
Speaker 1: would definitely be friends with this person. Like we just
Speaker 1: loved him so much and he had such a great
Speaker 1: sense of humor. But I was talking to him before
Speaker 1: we went to the party and he had showed me
Speaker 1: the video and we were just like kind of I
Speaker 1: was just in shock, you know, like I can't believe
Speaker 1: this guy's been through it, and kind of like searching
Speaker 1: his face for like are you okay? Like what is
Speaker 1: all of this like? And and then it struck me.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, Like I think how
Speaker 1: many people died in it, like twelve or something. But
Speaker 1: watching that car the footage, like watching that car krene
Speaker 1: down this alley, I was like, so many people just
Speaker 1: like died right there, Like we're just run over in
Speaker 1: a horrible way, getting hit by car going eighty miles
Speaker 1: an hour. And I said, oh my god, Like he
Speaker 1: was obviously conscious when and they pulled him out, you know,
Speaker 1: like he just kind of felt to the side and
Speaker 1: his foot was completely shattered in so many different ways.
Speaker 1: But I said, did you like see anything, and he said,
Speaker 1: because of my training and no, because of the experiences
Speaker 1: that I've had overseas and the stuff that I've witnessed,
Speaker 1: I know just to keep like look at my feet.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, your foot was all fucked up.
Speaker 1: You don't want to look at that. So he like,
Speaker 1: but when he was being pulled out of the French
Speaker 1: quarter and they're walking out, he said, he kind of
Speaker 1: saw some stuff and he instantly snapped into action of like,
Speaker 1: look directly at the ground in front of you, do
Speaker 1: not look to the sides at all. He said, he's
Speaker 1: so glad that he did that, because he thinks he
Speaker 1: would be having a really really rough time right now
Speaker 1: if he did it, if he had saw what he
Speaker 1: what was there for him to see. And so I thought,
Speaker 1: you know, how lucky that you were someone that knew
Speaker 1: to do that. How unlucky obviously all of the stuff is,
Speaker 1: but that was just like a really interesting detail of
Speaker 1: it that I wouldn't even think. So, you know, God
Speaker 1: forbid anyone listening right now is ever in a catastrophe
Speaker 1: like that, keep your gaze on the ground in front
Speaker 1: of you to save yourself, like more trauma than you're
Speaker 1: already going through, which I would not have thought to do,
Speaker 1: But now I will try to keep that in the
Speaker 1: forefront of my mind and play Tetris. I mean, if anything,
Speaker 1: I've learned on Reddit, when people share traumatic things they've
Speaker 1: been through, the number one comment is go play Go
Speaker 1: play Tetris right now, because it really helps with PTSD
Speaker 1: in the aftermath of a car crash or witnessing something awful,
Speaker 1: when people witness jumpers, when people witness someone dying, or
Speaker 1: people are Tetris has been known, like like there's research
Speaker 1: to support it that if you play Tetris after a
Speaker 1: traumatic event, it will help with the PTSD and kind
Speaker 1: of make your brain, uh not keep it around as
Speaker 1: much like.
Speaker 3: Your brain's distracted with something else.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. But did you find
Speaker 1: the Snopes thing?
Speaker 2: Yeah, nothing on Snopes about it. I saw the video
Speaker 2: on Reddit. Snopes doesn't have any articles.
Speaker 1: I watched it.
Speaker 3: I watched the I watched the video.
Speaker 1: Wait, what do you think. Isn't it insane what you saw?
Speaker 1: Because in my right isn't it like a beam or something.
Speaker 2: It's very low quality footage, but there was a chance
Speaker 2: that the man saw because the man that taps him
Speaker 2: on the shoulder is coming up from behind, and there's
Speaker 2: a chance that the man saw the truck and was
Speaker 2: avoiding it himself and just tapped him on the shoulder
Speaker 2: be like, by the way, there's this truck that's coming.
Speaker 2: That's so might I mean dire. Yeah, he might be
Speaker 2: like watch out for that truck. Like I remember one time.
Speaker 2: This is obviously not the same thing, but there was
Speaker 2: a palm tree, and sometimes palm trees like shed their
Speaker 2: bark and they're really tall, so when they shed their bark,
Speaker 2: there's just these like chunks of wood falling from the sky.
Speaker 2: And I was walking my dog and this guy was like, hey,
Speaker 2: by the way, I don't know what the hell this
Speaker 2: tree is doing, but stay away from that tree. Whoa yeah,
Speaker 2: So then I saw just chunks falling off of it,
Speaker 2: and I wonder if it was like a similar thing
Speaker 2: where it's like, you.
Speaker 1: Know, you know, the guy might have just been like, hey,
Speaker 1: there's the car.
Speaker 3: Just there's a.
Speaker 5: Tell many people say something that's like you really got
Speaker 5: to follow your guts.
Speaker 1: You have to be so in tune. It's so nice
Speaker 1: that again, empathy, self awareness if you see like a
Speaker 1: curb that you just stepped out, like I'm always pointing
Speaker 1: out like hey there's a step here, there's a slick spot,
Speaker 1: like just try to save other people. There was you know,
Speaker 1: I was backstage with some old ladies one time because
Speaker 1: there's some old women like appearing on the show and
Speaker 1: everyone's kind of like shuffle of thing memorund and I
Speaker 1: was just another person on the show. But I was like,
Speaker 1: no one even even thinking about these old women, like
Speaker 1: don't have the field of vision that you do. They
Speaker 1: don't they have much more like muscle loss. They can't
Speaker 1: catch themselves as they fall as quickly they they just
Speaker 1: don't have them right depth perception. And there were chords
Speaker 1: all over, and I was like I had to take
Speaker 1: upon myself to be like there's chords here and like
Speaker 1: lead them and no one. I was like, how does
Speaker 1: just look out for older people a lot more? Look
Speaker 1: just look out for people who like need the door
Speaker 1: help for them. And sometimes I don't like sometimes you know,
Speaker 1: you just don't see someone and you just slip and
Speaker 1: you like you look like an asshole. Like the other
Speaker 1: day Sarah Lena was like freaking out because she was like,
Speaker 1: I didn't hold the door for this woman. Now she
Speaker 1: hates me, and it's like I under and now I
Speaker 1: kind of understand that a little bit more like you
Speaker 1: just want to help out your common man. But today
Speaker 1: I was in my car and I was texting at
Speaker 1: a stoplight, as the law lets you, I don't think
Speaker 1: I don't think it does. I don't think you're ever
Speaker 1: supposed to be. But I was. I was very much
Speaker 1: texting at a stoplight that I had just pulled up to.
Speaker 1: Car was stopped, and I kind of saw a guy
Speaker 1: next to me like like talking, you know, like you
Speaker 1: can kind of see his head going m h in
Speaker 1: the car next to me, and I just was like
Speaker 1: ready for fucking apologizing. Like whenever I like get caught
Speaker 1: doing something, I always going I'm sorry. I know I'm
Speaker 1: just a dumb cunt, you know, And so I was
Speaker 1: getting ready to be like, uh, yeah, you're right, you
Speaker 1: caught me. I shouldn't be on my phone or whatever,
Speaker 1: and he was just going, nice car, I love your car,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yes, it was the first time
Speaker 1: that's ever happened to be in traffic.
Speaker 3: It was so cool.
Speaker 1: I'm so so cool, and I was texting and I
Speaker 1: was like, now I'm going to text people that this
Speaker 1: guy thinks my car is cool. It was so nice.
Speaker 1: All Right, we'll be back, was final thought after this.
Speaker 1: So I was cleaning out an old purse and I
Speaker 1: found the the notes from the hotel that I was
Speaker 1: staying at where I did the the show from Hell,
Speaker 1: the Cabo show from how these.
Speaker 3: Are These are?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's at the If you ever want to go
Speaker 1: to an amazing resort, I mean, I'm not joking you.
Speaker 1: This place was like legit, and I think it was
Speaker 1: pretty affordable because I was looking at prices when I
Speaker 1: was in Hawaii and I was at a hotel that
Speaker 1: was like very very expensive, and I didn't like it.
Speaker 1: So I don't even think I told you guys. We
Speaker 1: flew to Hawaii after the Golden Globes and we got
Speaker 1: to my hotel that I got because I saw the
Speaker 1: website and it was amazing, or maybe I did say.
Speaker 1: And I got there and I was like this.
Speaker 5: You did not talk okay, so let's talk about it.
Speaker 1: I literally got to the hotel that we paid. I
Speaker 1: don't even want to tell you what we paid because
Speaker 1: it's just gonna make people mad because they think I
Speaker 1: paid a burken bag, you know, like it was like
Speaker 1: a lot and.
Speaker 3: This really nice post golden globe.
Speaker 1: For a really nice suite at this hotel. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna say which one because they're doing their No, that's
Speaker 1: the one I ended up going to after I banded. Yeah, Oh,
Speaker 1: the four seasons, Lanni, it's incredible. Leni has three thousand
Speaker 1: people in the whole goddamn island, most of them work
Speaker 1: in that resort, but that resort is incredible. Four seasons, Lanni.
Speaker 1: I learned from Al Michael's, famed sports announcer, don't if
Speaker 1: you want a good time, if you want to make
Speaker 1: sure your hotel is legit, don't just never go anywhere
Speaker 1: except for four seasons. And I know that's like a
Speaker 1: very privileged thing to say, but like coming from someone who,
Speaker 1: if you can afford it, just don't trust anywhere. It's like,
Speaker 1: my new policy for my tour is like, if there's
Speaker 1: a four seasons and within thirty minutes of the concert
Speaker 1: space that I'm performing at, that's where we're saying, okay, now,
Speaker 1: everyone can stop me and kill me. But they actually
Speaker 1: have a really good security, so fucking bring it.
Speaker 3: Four seasons. Great.
Speaker 2: I got to stay in the four seasons at one
Speaker 2: time in Philly, right that was seasons?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh yes, because puts us up in the four seasons
Speaker 1: because guess what, that's what al Michaels works for.
Speaker 3: And right, al Michaels shout out to.
Speaker 1: Al Yeah, he was like mad that when they have
Speaker 1: stayed a Ritz Carlton, he was.
Speaker 3: Like, oh god for trash.
Speaker 1: Yeah right, Riz Carlton's are really nice too, but the
Speaker 1: four seasons you can't go wrong. And so I'll never
Speaker 1: I'll never wing it again. So this they this place
Speaker 1: just spent all their money on a website because their
Speaker 1: website was ridiculous. You guys would never even believe that
Speaker 1: this resort wasn't like what it like looked like it
Speaker 1: was going to be on the website.
Speaker 3: I've seen there before.
Speaker 1: So we get there and we pull and we're like, oh,
Speaker 1: all right, the valet station is really nice, the lobby
Speaker 1: is really nice. Oh okay, and then we keep walking.
Speaker 1: There's like sand in the hallways, which they think is
Speaker 1: like a nice touch, but it's not. It's just like dirty,
Speaker 1: like on purpose.
Speaker 3: They like line the.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like they like, oh indoor outdoors, it's just tracked in. Yes,
Speaker 1: the first hotel, Oh my god, the four Seasons would
Speaker 1: never the hallway beach And I'm not kidding you. This
Speaker 1: place costs just as much as the four season so
Speaker 1: I am not even like I'm talking about a place
Speaker 1: that like charges you so much goddamn money. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: we get to our hotel room and there's no balcony,
Speaker 1: which is just insane in Hawaii, like to not have
Speaker 1: a balcony. It's like a it's like a cabin. We're like,
Speaker 1: this is where you'd want to stay if you were
Speaker 1: going to Yosemite, you know, like this is a cabin vibe,
Speaker 1: really nice room like all like you know, nice Hawaiian woods,
Speaker 1: you know, like type of like dark like rich wood
Speaker 1: and Macromeltu arrangement. Yeah, yes, yes, but it's like no balcony.
Speaker 1: And also like there's sand on the floor in the hallway.
Speaker 1: The adult swimming pool is like a waiting pool, like
Speaker 1: it's nothing. And then we go down and I'm like
Speaker 1: we get in those all room. I've said nothing to
Speaker 1: Chris so far because I'm just trying to be positive.
Speaker 1: It's taking us all day to fucking get there, you know,
Speaker 1: like and but I'm paying a pretty penny for this place.
Speaker 1: I think, all in all, like it's about I think
Speaker 1: it's three thirty five hundred dollars a night, which isn't
Speaker 1: like it's it's not the most, but it's a lot,
Speaker 1: and I think it's like I'm doing it, So I
Speaker 1: think it was like, all in all, like fifteen thousand dollars. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll just say fifteen thousand dollars non refundable. We go
Speaker 1: down to have lunch and I go I so we're
Speaker 1: in the we the guy is like showing us around
Speaker 1: the place, and I'm just like holding in my commentary,
Speaker 1: which is like but I don't know if I'm just
Speaker 1: being Nikki. That is like not didn't eat enough today,
Speaker 1: is really tired, is scared about the fires, and it's
Speaker 1: just like I don't like anything because sometimes I get
Speaker 1: in this mood where it's like nothing's good enough because
Speaker 1: I'm just like hate myself, you know. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It was kind of that, so I'm like maybe it's that,
Speaker 1: you know, like I can't I can't even judge my
Speaker 1: own judgment, right, now, and so I'm but I hold
Speaker 1: it in. And then as soon as the guy leaves
Speaker 1: and Chris is just like, Okay, what do you want
Speaker 1: to do? And I'm just like, I think this kind
Speaker 1: of sucks and he's like yeah, and I go, do
Speaker 1: you think it? Kind of like this just does not
Speaker 1: feel like I wanted it to feel. I can't even
Speaker 1: describe what I wanted to feel like, but this isn't it.
Speaker 1: And he's like it's I mean, it's it's and I'm like, wait,
Speaker 1: you see it too, and he's like, I mean, but
Speaker 1: he's not paying for it, so he's not one to
Speaker 1: like complain about something he's not paying for, and he's
Speaker 1: trying to just like support me the best of it. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's never one to be like, yeah, you're kind of right,
Speaker 1: like look at this and look at that, even though
Speaker 1: he later on told me like he was clocking so
Speaker 1: many things that were just like the heinous about this place.
Speaker 1: I mean, the sand in the hallway was making us
Speaker 1: laugh so hard because it was just they acted like
Speaker 1: it was a feature and it was totally just something
Speaker 1: that they were like, we're too lazy.
Speaker 3: Right, And they had a bunch of leaves.
Speaker 1: It was. It was a really it was a nicely
Speaker 1: clean place. But then we go down to lunch and
Speaker 1: we have you know, at these nice places, you can
Speaker 1: like text with your guy. You have like a guy
Speaker 1: you're assigned and you're texting with him. Yeah, and he's
Speaker 1: like he's brought us to the room. He's like chatty
Speaker 1: and fun, and he leaves, and I'm like, I just
Speaker 1: like kind of like hate this. I think I don't
Speaker 1: don't like this. But I'm like tired. I'm like, what
Speaker 1: are we gonna do? We're stuck here, like I can't
Speaker 1: where else are we gonna go. I'm already looking up
Speaker 1: different resorts on the island. They all seem to be
Speaker 1: like either sold out or kind of like of the
Speaker 1: same kind of level. And I'm like, God, I wanted, like,
Speaker 1: I know, a nice resort, like I go. Fay Island
Speaker 1: has put me up a better places than this, Like
Speaker 1: I don't I don't like this, And so I wanted
Speaker 1: like a really expansive, wide resort where we kind of
Speaker 1: get like away from people where I didn't want just
Speaker 1: like one pool and then another pool and then like
Speaker 1: one place to eat lunch, Like I wanted like multiple restaurants,
Speaker 1: and like, I just didn't research it enough because I
Speaker 1: was working on the Golden Globes. And when my assistant
Speaker 1: sent me a bunch of options, just was like, this
Speaker 1: one is the nicest website, you know, Like I.
Speaker 2: Just assumed you fell for the old website trick the grit, Yes, and.
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't they spend all their money on the website.
Speaker 1: Most people that save up twelve thousand dollars.
Speaker 3: To go on a nice trick, they're not going back.
Speaker 3: I'm not.
Speaker 1: They're not even I'm sorry. This is a thing I noticed.
Speaker 1: It's it's what it's my joke about people having kids too.
Speaker 1: If you can't regret it, you don't. If it's non refundable,
Speaker 1: you're not even gonna let in. This sucks. You're not
Speaker 1: even gonna let that in, because what's the point. You
Speaker 1: can't if you if you're a mom, you can't change anything,
Speaker 1: so you're not gonna really let in. I hate this.
Speaker 1: I don't want this. This sucks. It does your your
Speaker 1: mind does a gymnastics thing, and like it won't even
Speaker 1: let it in. You just convince yourself you like it,
Speaker 1: which is a great thing, because but I have enough.
Speaker 1: I have enough, you know, I can let twelve thousand
Speaker 1: dollars go. Like my mind is like Nikki, you can
Speaker 1: just walk away. There's like a part of me, even
Speaker 1: though that would like pain me and my mom who
Speaker 1: lives inside me, being like wow, thousand dollars for a week.
Speaker 1: I mean I guess, I guess, you know, like that's
Speaker 1: inside me. But I'm like there's a part of me
Speaker 1: that like get out of here. And so we went
Speaker 1: down to lunch. I go, let's just have lunch and
Speaker 1: let me like get some food and like, calm down.
Speaker 1: I'm down at lunch and I'm like, I think I
Speaker 1: hate this. The menus are like stained, yeah, like they
Speaker 1: have like grease spots on them. The guy that like
Speaker 1: is giving us taking our order, his shirt is like dirty.
Speaker 1: And I know I am not usually a person who
Speaker 1: cares about that kind of stuff, but I think I
Speaker 1: was just like ugh. And then I'm looking around at
Speaker 1: like the people that are there, and I'm like I
Speaker 1: want to be the white, trashiest person at a resort,
Speaker 1: Like I want people to look at me and go
Speaker 1: texting their assistance like how do I get out of here?
Speaker 1: Because this is what I thought it was. I don't
Speaker 1: want to be the one who's the nicest dressed person there.
Speaker 1: And so I was looking around. I saw a lot
Speaker 1: of sunburns. I saw a lot of tattoos. Back tattoos,
Speaker 1: no offense if you have that right, But it was.
Speaker 3: Like, fest're the cat patches.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was just like a type of tattoo. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I really don't judge tattoos. But there was like a
Speaker 1: lot of just like sunburnt people, which that tells me
Speaker 1: it's like my first time on vacation. Like I just
Speaker 1: don't want to be around people who was like, oh
Speaker 1: why first time, Like it just there's like an enthusiastic.
Speaker 3: You're all from South Carolina.
Speaker 1: No, I don't mind even mind the accent. I'm just
Speaker 1: like trying. I don't know I'm being I'm being disparaging
Speaker 1: of of I'm being a litist right now. But I
Speaker 1: like to be the track.
Speaker 3: I got to go to a hotel, there needs to
Speaker 3: be at least time.
Speaker 1: I want to be the one with a target tote.
Speaker 2: Twenty percent of the clientele needs to have Russian accents.
Speaker 2: That's how you know it's the first hotel.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I believe me. I've stayed at some trash places.
Speaker 1: I'm not someone who is like I need to like
Speaker 1: always be in the nice I think people know who
Speaker 1: I am. I don't need to excuse this. I just
Speaker 1: was in a mood. It just wasn't what I wanted
Speaker 1: to be. So I just was like, I'm walking away
Speaker 1: and are we I felt so bad because our guy
Speaker 1: was like so invested in us, like having a good
Speaker 1: time and like I'm gonna get your reservations here, and
Speaker 1: we were like okay, yay, and like being nice in
Speaker 1: and then I like, you know, planted it through my
Speaker 1: assistant to let them know we were leaving the next day,
Speaker 1: and they were like, is there anything we can do
Speaker 1: and we were like, unfortunately no, and they go, we'll
Speaker 1: show you another suite and so they showed us an
Speaker 1: upgrade and it was a way nicer place, but they
Speaker 1: were in the middle of cleaning it for like the
Speaker 1: for us potentially because someone had just left. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: we toured it while it was being clean because it
Speaker 1: was the only time to see it. Because I was like, well,
Speaker 1: let's just go see what it looks like. And so
Speaker 1: we go to tour it and there's like a five
Speaker 1: hour energy on the nightstand like you can kind of
Speaker 1: see the people like you can, no matter how nice
Speaker 1: the places, if you see any remnants of people being
Speaker 1: there before, you don't want it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: There's like a tissue in the waistband. I don't want
Speaker 1: to know there's any DNA before. And so we were
Speaker 1: just like grossed up by that.
Speaker 2: Even though it was so nice, someone had a night
Speaker 2: five hour energy and a tissue.
Speaker 3: I mean it was the.
Speaker 1: Most boring trash ever, like nothing gross, like totally like
Speaker 1: a nice space. But Chris and I were just both like,
Speaker 1: well and we're leaving, and I kid you not like
Speaker 1: the bell Hop concierge guy are like is there anything
Speaker 1: we can do? And We're rolling it out and I'm
Speaker 1: like wearing a hat and sunglasses trying not to get
Speaker 1: noticed because I feel so bad. I feel like a
Speaker 1: girl escaping in the middle of the night of like
Speaker 1: staying a weekend with a.
Speaker 4: Guy, yes, yes, well no no, but if she maybe
Speaker 4: hooked up with a guy that she thought she was
Speaker 4: gonna spend the weekend with and then she decided after
Speaker 4: the first night that she hated him, yeah, and has
Speaker 4: to like make an excuse to leave, which we've all done.
Speaker 3: I think that's what happened.
Speaker 1: But they were like, literally I had to like roll
Speaker 1: up the window and They're like, is there anything we
Speaker 1: can do? And I'm like, you can't, it's not it
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with you. It's like it's just
Speaker 1: not big enough. The ceilings are tall enough, the architecture,
Speaker 1: it's not the service. And then we pulled off and
Speaker 1: then we flew to the Four Seasons and it was
Speaker 1: the best decision I've ever made. And Chris was a
Speaker 1: little nervous because he was like, I think Nikki just
Speaker 1: is gonna hate anything. She's in one of those moods,
Speaker 1: in that mood. But we landed and we got to
Speaker 1: the resort and he was like, Glaze, you were one
Speaker 1: hundred percent right. He was like, I didn't even know
Speaker 1: what you meant by like it needs to be nicer
Speaker 1: because we just felt a disease. But he was like,
Speaker 1: this is a game changer, and we were in absolute heaven.
Speaker 1: I mean, the place we stayed in was really expensive.
Speaker 1: I think it was like I'm not even gonna say
Speaker 1: what it was, but it was it was more than
Speaker 1: the other place.
Speaker 2: We have to make the podcast long enough that you
Speaker 2: eventually wind up saying it anyway.
Speaker 1: I know I feel bad. People are gonna really hate
Speaker 1: me after this one, because did you actually feel relaxed?
Speaker 1: But then I was the trashiest person there, like by far,
Speaker 1: like like literally I saw people looking at me like yuck.
Speaker 1: Like I they were all like they all knew everyone
Speaker 1: that worked there because they've been going there for so
Speaker 1: many years. I was, and I did actually relax. Noah,
Speaker 1: to answer your question, there's nothing to do there except
Speaker 1: whale watch, go pet some goats, look at the koy fish,
Speaker 1: step on a frog, and sleep and eat at good
Speaker 1: couch Nobu or Matsa or another place or what was
Speaker 1: that good couch? That's the part you left out of
Speaker 1: the other hotel? Yeah, the oh the couch was like
Speaker 1: a burlap sack. Oh yeah. I gave the girls chat
Speaker 1: like a tour of the room, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I am in hell right now. And they
Speaker 1: were all so supportive. But I will say that that
Speaker 1: hotel did refund me for the other nights, even though
Speaker 1: they didn't have to. They did the right thing and
Speaker 1: they refunded me.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, you're a dangerous woman. You could slam
Speaker 2: them online.
Speaker 1: That could I would never, because I actually all about.
Speaker 3: The online presence.
Speaker 1: I honor contracts. I really you will never see me
Speaker 1: trying to be like, well, I'm actually leaving early and
Speaker 1: you guys let us sound if I sign a contract.
Speaker 1: For instance, I paid for eleven I've paid for twelve
Speaker 1: months of a apartment I never lived in during COVID
Speaker 1: in New York, even though everyone said you can get
Speaker 1: out of it, you don't have to pay for it.
Speaker 1: I paid fucking seven thousand dollars a month for twelve
Speaker 1: months for an apartment I never even stepp foot in,
Speaker 1: and except one time one day, and I didn't even
Speaker 1: I just came by to get something out of a box.
Speaker 1: I also paid for an assistant that I moved to
Speaker 1: New York City because she moved there to work for me,
Speaker 1: and I paid for her for way longer than most
Speaker 1: people probably would have because I said I would. So
Speaker 1: I'm not someone who's like, will ever finate like get
Speaker 1: try to weasel out of a contract. If I sign
Speaker 1: something and say I'm gonna pay it, I will never
Speaker 1: try to get a better deal or weasel out. So
Speaker 1: I was willing to pay full reef like, but I will,
Speaker 1: and I will stay in this brand of hotels in
Speaker 1: LA because I love their La one. But I will
Speaker 1: not be back to the one on that island that
Speaker 1: way want to. That will remain untenamed. But but they
Speaker 1: are a good chain overall, and I really respect them.
Speaker 3: Forst Wait a second, what happened?
Speaker 2: What happened with the ratty false hobo at the Starbucks?
Speaker 1: They were listening to a so loud and I then
Speaker 1: I am like, oh God, so annoying. So I moved
Speaker 1: to the other side of the Starbucks and then I
Speaker 1: film a double parked cyber truck outside. And I'm filming
Speaker 1: the cyber truck that's double parked in a handicap, double
Speaker 1: parked like there's a handicaff spot, and they pull to
Speaker 1: the side of the handicap so no one can get
Speaker 1: in the handicauffs spot. And then they turn on their
Speaker 1: fucking hazard lights and are double parked.
Speaker 3: OK.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, who is inside here with that car?
Speaker 1: And it's the homeless woman listening to the fucking religious podcast.
Speaker 2: Of course she's got a new found uh, a newfound confidence.
Speaker 1: Anyone who drives a cyber truck like they they. I
Speaker 1: want to I want to just drive a cyber truck
Speaker 1: because I want to see the stairs. I get, yeah,
Speaker 1: and like what the energy is because I don't know
Speaker 1: anyone who's ever looked at them admiringly except maybe a toddler,
Speaker 1: like I've never seen like I just saw me and
Speaker 1: the other day of like, show us your cyber truck face,
Speaker 1: and it's the face you make when you see one,
Speaker 1: and everyone's cyber truck face is just like ugh, and
Speaker 1: I go so hard on my scalp because you don't
Speaker 1: get to be one of those people that puts it
Speaker 1: like a sticker on your tesla. That's like I got
Speaker 1: this before I knew he was a Nazi, you know,
Speaker 1: like you got that when he was very clearly at
Speaker 1: it that way. And so you are looking for attention,
Speaker 1: but you're looking for attention that is fueled by hatred.
Speaker 1: You're looking for people to hate you, Like what is that?
Speaker 3: Why would you want that?
Speaker 1: A troll?
Speaker 3: And that's uh, you know, it's the tracks usually.
Speaker 1: Get to be anonymous. And that's why cyber trucks have
Speaker 1: tinted windows and no one's ever rolling the window down
Speaker 1: on a cyber truck.
Speaker 2: Well, elon Musk is the control of them all, and
Speaker 2: he loves trolling. He's the he's the megatroll. And these
Speaker 2: are these are people who have learned that, oh you
Speaker 2: control in real life and not be anonymous. And it
Speaker 2: feels great to just rankle people, to rile them up
Speaker 2: and make them upset, and you know that you're affecting
Speaker 2: the world in this way.
Speaker 1: I want to I want to go drive one around
Speaker 1: just to see the energy that gets thrown your way.
Speaker 1: Because they must be crazy.
Speaker 3: I will say everyone.
Speaker 2: I see a lot of people in like International TikTok
Speaker 2: or something like from Brazil or something like that, and
Speaker 2: the cyber truck is a sign of luxury. If there's
Speaker 2: no there's they're they're they're posing. They're like influencers from
Speaker 2: Brazil posing with their cyber truck or just being in
Speaker 2: their cyber truck, and it's it's not viewed as something
Speaker 2: that's they're not.
Speaker 1: They're not America.
Speaker 3: They're aware, they don't.
Speaker 2: Care about American politics or they agree with what's going on,
Speaker 2: so you know they're the cyber truck.
Speaker 3: Stank is not on.
Speaker 1: Them, right right? Okay, Well we covered a lot today.
Speaker 1: If you use blue traps, I'm really sorry. I lashed
Speaker 1: out at you. I forgive you. We all do like
Speaker 1: I do. I support bad things too. I love you.
Speaker 1: If you listen to the podcast, I just hope that
Speaker 1: you just get rid of those glue traps and maybe
Speaker 1: learn something and then spread the word about it to
Speaker 1: like prevent other ones. Also shout out to Adam, who
Speaker 1: was in the terrorist attack. I love you. It was
Speaker 1: so cool to meet you. What an honor, like truly
Speaker 1: such an honor to know someone that was affect ly
Speaker 1: by something insane and a veteran thank you for your service.
Speaker 1: Like just such an honor to meet him. What a cool, smart,
Speaker 1: amazing person. And I'm so deeply sorry for that that
Speaker 1: happening to him. Look him up though he's He's just
Speaker 1: a great He's just a great guy, and I love
Speaker 1: I got to actually google him to get more information.
Speaker 1: But I just really enjoyed hanging out with him and
Speaker 1: his friends that night. It was like such such it
Speaker 1: was my favorite part of the whole New Orleans weekend
Speaker 1: was meeting him and hanging out with his friends and
Speaker 1: like being able to like give him that night even
Speaker 1: though even I hope he had a good time, but
Speaker 1: even if he did it, it felt like he did,
Speaker 1: and it felt nice to make him smile because he's
Speaker 1: been through a lot. Anyway, we'll see you next week
Speaker 1: on the podcast. Oh and I didn't tell you what
Speaker 1: I heard about Okay, let me just really quickly because
Speaker 1: I said I would. On yesterday's podcast was on the
Speaker 1: podcast subreddit and it says I'm emotionally attached to podcast hosts.
Speaker 1: And this person described like I don't know what's wrong
Speaker 1: with me, Like I can't wait for the next episode
Speaker 1: to drop. I feel like I am always wondering, like
Speaker 1: what's going on in their mind, Like I like look
Speaker 1: forward to it so much. I felt this way about
Speaker 1: so many different podcasts in my life, and so I
Speaker 1: like instantly opened it up to like kind of read
Speaker 1: about this like psychology of this person going through it
Speaker 1: and to hear other people comment on it. And the
Speaker 1: subreddit podcast is really like smart cool people. I found that,
Speaker 1: like just have a passion for podcasts, all different kinds.
Speaker 1: And I was scrolling the comments and I saw that
Speaker 1: this person name so Carrious se w C A R
Speaker 1: R E I E U so carious wrote is it
Speaker 1: the Nicky Glazer podcast? Because me too? And I felt
Speaker 1: so honored. That's so and it was upvoted once, so
Speaker 1: at least one other person agreed with them, and I felt,
Speaker 1: I just will say, it means so much to me
Speaker 1: that people are emotionally attached to this podcast. I hope
Speaker 1: it's in a healthy way. I hope it feels like
Speaker 1: we're your friends and that you like you give me
Speaker 1: as much. I hope I give you as much joy
Speaker 1: as like the podcast that I'm emotionally attached to give me.
Speaker 1: I know what that feels like. I'm so glad that
Speaker 1: I can give it to anyone. And it's sometimes lost
Speaker 1: on me that I ever did. I really appreciated reading that.
Speaker 1: It's just really cool. Like most of the time when
Speaker 1: I stumble across my name on the internet, it doesn't
Speaker 1: feel good when I'm just like reading for pleasure, and
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden I see my name, It's like,
Speaker 1: oh God, it like ruins it. And this was one
Speaker 1: of those times that was like truly a gift that
Speaker 1: like made it better. So I would implore all besties
Speaker 1: to like respond nice if you ever want to mention
Speaker 1: me in a nice way on something like I would.
Speaker 1: It's a little easter egg that like made my day
Speaker 1: to read that so thank you so much and yeah,
Speaker 1: that's all I had to say on that. Don't be
Speaker 1: c and we'll see you next week. Bye. The Nicky
Speaker 1: Glazer Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money
Speaker 1: Players and iHeart Podcasts. Created and hosted by me Nicki Glazer,
Speaker 1: co hosted by Brian Frangie, Executive produced by Will Ferrell,
Speaker 1: Hans Sonny and Noah Avior. Edited it engineered by Lean
Speaker 1: and Loaf, video production Mark Canton and music by Anya Marina.
Speaker 1: You can now watch full episodes of the Nicky Glazer
Speaker 1: podcast on YouTube, follow at Nicki Glazer Pod and subscribe
Speaker 1: to our channel