1 00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:03,079 Speaker 1: The Threat is a new hit podcast from AUSSI Media 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:06,640 Speaker 1: that explores history surprising connections in order to discover how 3 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 1: one thing leads to another, like how movie moguls in 4 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:12,959 Speaker 1: early Hollywood helps spark the Me Too movement. Today, get 5 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,280 Speaker 1: it on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen. It 6 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:17,840 Speaker 1: is time for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 7 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:22,200 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, on parenting, on sex, on work, and more, 8 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:26,840 Speaker 1: well submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM dot 9 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:32,239 Speaker 1: com and click submit Strawberry Letter. Write Steve, tell them 10 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:36,239 Speaker 1: all you don't have to. Don't say that. That's not 11 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 1: what she's saying. We're here for people. We want to 12 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:48,120 Speaker 1: help them. We want to help you. Segment to continue, 13 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 1: send us your letter. If not, this sound like a thread. 14 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:59,760 Speaker 1: We're not threatening the people that we just want to 15 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 1: help them, but we want to let them know we're 16 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:10,119 Speaker 1: here for them. Alright, If they don't, won't Hill, let's 17 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:13,920 Speaker 1: go alright subject without a doubt, it's time to get 18 00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:17,039 Speaker 1: out here. Stephen Shirley, I am a twenty seven year 19 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 1: old that is married and together. My husband and I 20 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:24,240 Speaker 1: have three kids. About two years ago, my in laws 21 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:26,880 Speaker 1: and their twenty one year old son moved into our 22 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:30,479 Speaker 1: three bedroom house. I was on board with them moving 23 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,040 Speaker 1: in because they had a hardship and needed some help 24 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,960 Speaker 1: until they got on their feet. Well that was two 25 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,840 Speaker 1: years ago and I have not seen any signs of 26 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:41,679 Speaker 1: them trying to get on their feet. Uh. My father 27 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,120 Speaker 1: in law does not work, and neither does the twenty 28 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 1: one year old. They are both able body and able 29 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 1: to work any type of job. My mother in law 30 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 1: works as a hairstylist, and my husband and I have 31 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 1: to take her to and from work because they don't 32 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 1: have a car. My husband is frustrated too, but feels 33 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 1: like there's enough he can do. We stress about bills 34 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 1: every month now because we have three extra grown people 35 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 1: to take care of and they don't offer to help 36 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:12,800 Speaker 1: with household expenses. Our three children are all sleeping in 37 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:16,840 Speaker 1: one bedroom so my in laws can have their own bedroom. 38 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,160 Speaker 1: My husband is a good guy, but I need him 39 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:21,359 Speaker 1: to get a backbone and put his foot down before 40 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,680 Speaker 1: I do. There is no excuse for him and his 41 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 1: dad to allow his twenty one year old brother to 42 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,280 Speaker 1: be trifling and not get a job. I can't deal 43 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,079 Speaker 1: with this much longer. How should I fix this situation? 44 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 1: Any advice you can offer will help see see if 45 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,920 Speaker 1: people need our help. And I am with you. I 46 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,680 Speaker 1: am with you, lady who wrote this letter. Young lady 47 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:44,919 Speaker 1: who wrote this letter, Your husband definitely needs to get 48 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 1: a backbone and put his foot down. These are his 49 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:51,320 Speaker 1: family members. They have been in his home for for 50 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:55,400 Speaker 1: two years. Uh, misplacing his kids. You know, his kids 51 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:58,640 Speaker 1: all have to sleep in one bedroom. How how is that? 52 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 1: You know, taking care of your own family first, cleaving 53 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,000 Speaker 1: to your wife and taking care of your own family. 54 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 1: You know, I get helping people when they're um, you know, 55 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,359 Speaker 1: when they have a hardship. Like you say, but um, 56 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,959 Speaker 1: there are time limits and there are boundaries, and they 57 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 1: have just you know, just disrespected all of that. And 58 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:21,920 Speaker 1: I think it is time now for you guys to 59 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 1: sit down and have a family meeting and tell them 60 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,640 Speaker 1: that they have to go start helping them look for 61 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 1: a place to go. Uh, help them the young man 62 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:33,519 Speaker 1: find a job. Whatever you have to do. The mother 63 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 1: in law working as a hair stylist. Okay, she makes money, 64 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,480 Speaker 1: but is she bringing nothing uh to help you guys 65 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 1: with food, with rent, with anything. Now, you guys got 66 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 1: to sit them down and tell them that they have 67 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,720 Speaker 1: to go and all of that. I mean, I don't 68 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 1: even know how it's gone on for two years. And 69 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 1: you're right, this is your house too. You have every 70 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 1: right to say something to them as well. But I 71 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:59,000 Speaker 1: see you want to respect your husband as the head 72 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:07,000 Speaker 1: of household. He should be doing this, Steve, this is 73 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:11,080 Speaker 1: a tough letter, and I'll tell you why they're young. 74 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:16,520 Speaker 1: She was okay with this at first because the you know, 75 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:20,400 Speaker 1: the in laws fell on some hard times and they 76 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:23,520 Speaker 1: wanted to help him out, so they moved him in. 77 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:27,200 Speaker 1: The problem is this one year old woman is married 78 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 1: and yet and they got three kids. That's a lot 79 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 1: to take care of. Now you're in laws move in 80 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: and they twenty one year old son move into our 81 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:47,120 Speaker 1: three bedroom house. Now three bed rooms, I mean you 82 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 1: and your husband got a room, y'all three kids got 83 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,920 Speaker 1: a room and the MoMA and daddy got a room. 84 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:58,160 Speaker 1: Where the twenty one year old stay. Where due to 85 00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:02,919 Speaker 1: twenty one year old eight on the couch? Is he 86 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 1: on the couch? Is he in the room with your 87 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:12,560 Speaker 1: mom and daddy? That that's a good question I wanted 88 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:16,760 Speaker 1: to know. Now, you helped him, that was two years ago. 89 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 1: You ain't seen any sign of them trying to get 90 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:23,840 Speaker 1: on their feet. Your father in law does not work, 91 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:29,159 Speaker 1: neither does the twenty one year old. They both able 92 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: body and able to work any type of job. Your 93 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:35,360 Speaker 1: mother in laws and hand style is y'all gotta take 94 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,120 Speaker 1: a tun and from work because they don't have a 95 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 1: call my husband. Now here's a deal. My husband is 96 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:44,960 Speaker 1: frustrated too, but feels like there's nothing he can do. 97 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,039 Speaker 1: We stressed about bills every month now because we have 98 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 1: three extra grown people to take care of, and they 99 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:55,640 Speaker 1: don't offer to help with household expenses. Our three children 100 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:58,120 Speaker 1: sleeping in one wound so my in laws can have 101 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,359 Speaker 1: their own bed with. My husband's a good guy, but 102 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,159 Speaker 1: I need him to get a backbone and put his 103 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:06,240 Speaker 1: foot down before I do. There is no excuse for 104 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:08,360 Speaker 1: him and his dad to allow his twenty one year 105 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,719 Speaker 1: old brother to be trifling and not get a job. 106 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 1: Excuse me not. There's so much in here that I 107 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 1: gotta dressed. First of all, the daddy ain't working, so 108 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 1: how he gonna put his foot down and make another 109 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,600 Speaker 1: grown man get a job when his grown tail won't 110 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,479 Speaker 1: go out here and try to hustle up no work. 111 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 1: It's too many trifling people in this letter for you 112 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,919 Speaker 1: and your husband to win in this it's just too 113 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 1: minute trifling people. The daddy trifling. See, I'm not gonna 114 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:45,120 Speaker 1: let my son and my wife see me sitting around 115 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,280 Speaker 1: doing nothing while she's going out to work every day. 116 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:53,599 Speaker 1: So the daddy he trifling. The mama can't make a 117 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 1: contribution to the household expense because she probably need every 118 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,920 Speaker 1: dime she made dressing hair, to take carety to food. 119 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:06,119 Speaker 1: Now here's the problem that you staid said, I need 120 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:10,000 Speaker 1: my husband to get a backbone. That's an unfair statement 121 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:15,160 Speaker 1: because that statement is field with negativity. It is not 122 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 1: that your husband does not have a backbone in this situation. 123 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:22,640 Speaker 1: He did, Amanda, and he tried to help his mom 124 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 1: and daddy. You did a grown woman thing. You tried 125 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 1: to help him too, because you saw they had fell 126 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:31,960 Speaker 1: on some hard times. But this decision of letting his 127 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:35,000 Speaker 1: parents stay there and brothers stay there has not because 128 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 1: a lack of backbone. It's because now what See, as 129 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 1: you've decided to help them, you now got to decide 130 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,239 Speaker 1: what to cut off. Point is And we'll talk about 131 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,920 Speaker 1: that when I come back, because that's the problem we 132 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,160 Speaker 1: got now, all right, come on, let's get to part 133 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,520 Speaker 1: two of your response to today's Strawberry letter. Without a doubt, 134 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:01,520 Speaker 1: it's time to get out is the subject. Well, you know, 135 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 1: we talked about this reiterate twenty seven year old woman 136 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,840 Speaker 1: with three kids, married to a husband. They have a 137 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,400 Speaker 1: wonderful family, have a three bed room house. Day in 138 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,680 Speaker 1: laws fell on hard times. They let him move in. 139 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,880 Speaker 1: The mom and the daddy came to the house with 140 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 1: the twenty one year old son. They all stay in 141 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 1: the house together. Now it's been two years. The mother 142 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:21,960 Speaker 1: works as a hairdresser, but they gotta take it to 143 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 1: work because you ain't got no car, and then the 144 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:27,280 Speaker 1: daddy don't work and the twenty one year old don't work. 145 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:35,960 Speaker 1: My conclusion is is too many trifling people in this house. 146 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 1: It's just too many of them. And the trifling people 147 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:46,720 Speaker 1: is his daddy and his brother, because he first of all, 148 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,240 Speaker 1: I'm not taking care of my twenty one year old brother. 149 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:53,360 Speaker 1: That's not going to happen. But I'm not taking care 150 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,720 Speaker 1: of my able body that has daddy either. I'm gonna 151 00:08:56,720 --> 00:09:03,280 Speaker 1: say it again, it's two many trifling people in the house. 152 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:08,000 Speaker 1: Did daddy trifling because he's said in a bad example 153 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:14,200 Speaker 1: to his wife and his sons. The other son, the 154 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:17,440 Speaker 1: twenty one year old, he trifling because he being everything 155 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 1: he sees his daddy bear and it's okay with his daddy, 156 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 1: So it's okay with him. You and your husband are 157 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:28,880 Speaker 1: the man in the middle. Now, he got his parents 158 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 1: that he loved and you loved him to two years ago, 159 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:36,559 Speaker 1: and you let him move in cause some tragic happen. Well, now, 160 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,560 Speaker 1: how long are we've been to do this now? And 161 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 1: it's not that your husband, I will repeat this needs backbone. 162 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:48,839 Speaker 1: It's not backbone. This is now a heart matter. This 163 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:53,199 Speaker 1: is not a matter of who's got backboned. This is 164 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:57,000 Speaker 1: a matter of the heart. How does your husband put 165 00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:01,840 Speaker 1: his mama and his daddy out and they ain't got nothing. 166 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 1: Here's the solution. They have to get another relative's house 167 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:11,920 Speaker 1: to go to. The twenty one year old got to 168 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:18,520 Speaker 1: get out now, and you give them sixty days to move. 169 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:24,880 Speaker 1: Sixty days, y'all gotta be going. I want my family back, 170 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 1: I want my life back, I want my house back, 171 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:32,480 Speaker 1: I want my children's rooms back. You all have sixty 172 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:38,680 Speaker 1: days to move, and you just gotta give him ultimatum. Man, 173 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 1: because trifling people gotta be directed. True. If you don't 174 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:49,520 Speaker 1: give a trifling person direction, they just keep being trifling. 175 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:56,040 Speaker 1: As a question, Shirley, can I ask you a question? 176 00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 1: Who on this show used to be trifling? Used to be? Oh, 177 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 1: that's easy, Yeah, that's Easyhew, he said, used to be? 178 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:11,480 Speaker 1: Who used to be? Don't do this? Used to be 179 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:16,400 Speaker 1: don't do this, don't have to in are we doing it? 180 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:21,199 Speaker 1: She has to answer the question. He's trying to make 181 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:24,880 Speaker 1: a point. That's easy, Steve. Let me take Shirley out 182 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 1: of it. Tommy, Yes, can I ask you a question? 183 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:33,960 Speaker 1: Go ahead? Did not you used to be trifling on 184 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:45,240 Speaker 1: the shot? Allegedly Carlin Ferrell use my word? Okay, let 185 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:52,280 Speaker 1: me clear this up. You wasn't. Allegedly you was. Try Yes, Shirley. 186 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:59,719 Speaker 1: We gave him an ultimatum and he straightened up. Yeah. 187 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:06,280 Speaker 1: You gotta give trifling people all tomatoes. Hm. Your mom 188 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:09,000 Speaker 1: and daddy and brother got sixty days to live. The 189 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:13,959 Speaker 1: brother here, how you want to be? Your brother got 190 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:18,240 Speaker 1: thirty days and he got to get out. Your mom 191 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 1: and daddy got sixty and they got to go. And 192 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,400 Speaker 1: on the thirtieth day, you just commenced the whipping. Your 193 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 1: brother's ass he sounds like Tommy, right then, that's what 194 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:39,240 Speaker 1: he would say. Are we clear? Yeah, at the thirty 195 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:42,440 Speaker 1: day mark, to make sure he leaves, you got to 196 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: jump on me. Yeah. They can help them find someplace 197 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:52,360 Speaker 1: else to live. That's it, folks. Hmm. Now you ain't 198 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 1: gotta help them nothing. Let them find where they want 199 00:12:55,679 --> 00:13:00,480 Speaker 1: to go live. All right, that's it. Thank you for asking. 200 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:04,760 Speaker 1: End of my response, and tell me it was used 201 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:08,360 Speaker 1: to be. I haven't got it, Shirley, I got it. 202 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:15,120 Speaker 1: We're beyond that now married to right, you ain't gotta 203 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:19,480 Speaker 1: be chilly about this. And it's not like I volunteered that. 204 00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:22,840 Speaker 1: Steve did ask me you was trifling? Would surely ever 205 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:30,559 Speaker 1: do anything trifling or anything? Uh? I mean no, you 206 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:39,680 Speaker 1: ain't gonna no, jesh you on this show. You have 207 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 1: I ever done anything trifling? No, he ain't. Who's why 208 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 1: why are you having no Shirley? Yes, it's just you. 209 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:57,360 Speaker 1: You ain't been weeding. I didn't been with him a 210 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,720 Speaker 1: long time. All right, guys, we gotta go. Um email 211 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,280 Speaker 1: us your Instagram. That's your thoughts on today's Strawberry letter 212 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:06,440 Speaker 1: at Steve Harvey f M and at my girls, Shirley 213 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:09,560 Speaker 1: and uh please today join me for the Strawberry Letter 214 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:14,320 Speaker 1: Live after show on Facebook at one thirty pm Eastern Time. Okay, 215 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:17,400 Speaker 1: please be there. I'm back. You're listening to the Steve 216 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:18,480 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show.