Speaker 1: Hey, I Do Part two. It's your celebrity mentor Kathy
Speaker 1: Schwartz and one of our newest mentors here on the pod,
Speaker 1: Brian Austin Green and a new friend to me. So
Speaker 1: glad to have met you. And we're here in beautiful
Speaker 1: solving together.
Speaker 2: This is unbelievable. This is really it's hot outside, but
Speaker 2: it is gorgeous.
Speaker 1: It's gorgeous. Right, yeah, I was about a new friendship.
Speaker 1: How about our new friendship?
Speaker 2: What if I was saying before and then you cut
Speaker 2: me off and you told me to shut up? What
Speaker 2: a great day today has been. It's been so incredible
Speaker 2: spending time with you, getting to know you.
Speaker 1: Doing this here. You're gonna make me cry now, Okay,
Speaker 1: well yeah, soak those up, so soak those up, those chairs, okay,
Speaker 1: Brian cheers. One of the best things about you joining
Speaker 1: the I Do Part two crew is that you get
Speaker 1: to really bring our listeners inside the mind of a man,
Speaker 1: and I, for one, absolutely love this. So today I'm
Speaker 1: putting you on the spot here. I loved your podcast.
Speaker 1: I want to grill you on some things, Okay, but
Speaker 1: you go, You're gonna give me your brutally honest answer.
Speaker 1: It's all.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: There's nothing like preform or prefab.
Speaker 2: About okay, because you know I'm going to know the
Speaker 2: questions before you get okay, well I.
Speaker 1: Didn't share them with you, but we're going to go
Speaker 1: right into this, and these are like rapid fire.
Speaker 2: Just help me out. Okay, I don't I'm not rapid,
Speaker 2: Just so you just say.
Speaker 1: You know what I heard? Okay? Do men find these
Speaker 1: things attractive or a turn off? If a woman does
Speaker 1: them quickly change at tire? Turn off or attractive?
Speaker 2: Unnecessary? It's it's fine, It's fine. How about double text care?
Speaker 2: How about double texting? Oh yeah, you're you're pressuring somebody
Speaker 2: to respond.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when I text you and don't answer and I
Speaker 1: text you again, how are you going to feel about that?
Speaker 2: I will erase our conversation completely and I'll get a
Speaker 2: divorce ring made that day, just so you know.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think I slipt through the marriage. But okay,
Speaker 1: all right, hanging a curtain rod, you find it attractive
Speaker 1: or awesome if I hang the chart and rod?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like somebody that that just sort of gets in,
Speaker 2: whether they know how to do it or not, and
Speaker 2: just does it and at least tries it.
Speaker 1: Love it having an Instagram or TikTok for their dog
Speaker 1: or my case cat, you have one for your cat? No,
Speaker 1: but I have two cats. Okay, but you don't have
Speaker 1: an Instagram for your cat. Well I did, but just
Speaker 1: for about ten seconds. Divorce ring here it comes. You know,
Speaker 1: I was so in love with you.
Speaker 2: I think I think that is ridiculous to have an
Speaker 2: Instagram or a social media page four your.
Speaker 1: I actually agree with you. I agree with you. Okay,
Speaker 1: bench press? Now you know I lift weights. Bench pressing
Speaker 1: their body weight attractive or a turn off depends on
Speaker 1: what they're doing it for.
Speaker 2: Okay, let me start over. I bench press. Wait, what
Speaker 2: do you do it for? Do you do it for
Speaker 2: fitness or do you do it for the way you
Speaker 2: are seen by other people?
Speaker 1: Fitness?
Speaker 2: Totally fitness, totally fitness. Then that's awesome. If you can
Speaker 2: binge press your own weight.
Speaker 1: Okay, thank you, I'll continue it. How about this one
Speaker 1: wearing makeup to the gym?
Speaker 2: Uh? It doesn't And I answer this one sure stupidest
Speaker 2: thing ever. It just doesn't make any sense to me.
Speaker 2: It's like you're gonna sweat, Like the idea is that
Speaker 2: you're going to go there and you're going to work out.
Speaker 2: I you're not wearing makeup for anybody for yourself. You're
Speaker 2: wearing it for everybody else. That's right, and you shouldn't
Speaker 2: give it. And you're there to work out, so leave
Speaker 2: the making. I think you're going for the wrong reason.
Speaker 2: It's the same way I feel when I go to
Speaker 2: like a hike and there's somebody walking in nice shoes.
Speaker 1: It's like, what are you doing? Well, that's just stupid,
Speaker 1: that's super problems with your ankles.
Speaker 2: It's asking for like multiple trips to the shoe store
Speaker 2: to buy new shoes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, total one. I have Miking boots. I
Speaker 1: wear mine. Okay, talking about this one blows my mind.
Speaker 1: Talking about astrology and taking it seriously and like, I
Speaker 1: don't know what sign you are? What sign are you cancer?
Speaker 1: I'm a What do you think I am? A Taurus?
Speaker 1: I am? Because you just almost said it, Oh damn.
Speaker 2: Okay, but I'm just gonna psychic and your psychic.
Speaker 1: So do you think it's attractive or turn off the
Speaker 1: woman sitting there talking about her astrology sign? I think.
Speaker 2: Again, I think it depends. I it's I don't I
Speaker 2: don't generalize those answers. I think astrology is fun if
Speaker 2: it's part of somebody, if it's your.
Speaker 1: Only thing, that cancer or always well.
Speaker 2: That and then like all they want to do is
Speaker 2: sit and talk about astrology. You're like, can we talk
Speaker 2: about like in the moon of the seventh Sun? I'm
Speaker 2: over at Yeah, totally. I don't care what you're like
Speaker 2: your rising sign is it's too much.
Speaker 1: I don't care. Okay, this one turn off or attractive
Speaker 1: to drink beer if a woman drinks a beer, I
Speaker 1: can't even we can't even do this one, Like, who
Speaker 1: cares if you want to drink drink? Okay? Pick up lines?
Speaker 1: A woman's got some pickup lines. I got some good
Speaker 1: pickup lines. Is it attractive if I come up to
Speaker 1: you and say hi, Joe? Oh wait and you go
Speaker 1: on money, it's not joannacho. Oh, I have a friend
Speaker 1: that looks just like you was saying Joe. By the way,
Speaker 1: what's your name? Yeah?
Speaker 2: That's so cheesy. Yeah, that's I'm not a fan of
Speaker 2: pickup lines. You that was that was nice. I'm and
Speaker 2: you've never used that one before. This is the first
Speaker 2: first time I actually stole it from someone else, and
Speaker 2: I would never do it so it's a it's a
Speaker 2: six shooter.
Speaker 1: I would.
Speaker 2: You were here on a ranch, so I figured I
Speaker 2: would tie it all in together. Yeah, I don't to
Speaker 2: me pick up lines like you're starting off the wrong way.
Speaker 1: Yeah. On the other hand, the hell are you supposed
Speaker 1: to meet somebody? If you you got to say something? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you walk up and you say hello, and you say
Speaker 1: your name, and you ask what their name is, and
Speaker 1: then you start a conversation and you see if you
Speaker 1: guys have anything in common. That's the way. Don't that's
Speaker 1: way too all right? All right? What about wearing at
Speaker 1: leisure wear when not working now, which is how I live?
Speaker 2: So be careful what you said. Yeah, I don't. I
Speaker 2: look at me like I'm not. I just got my first,
Speaker 2: you know, country cowboy hat today.
Speaker 1: First, I don't.
Speaker 2: I wear leisure comfortable stuff all the time. The only
Speaker 2: time I don't. But when there's a dress code.
Speaker 1: Okay, But what about a woman. Do you want a
Speaker 1: woman in an evening gown as a measure?
Speaker 2: No, I know, I want somebody to be comfortable. I
Speaker 2: want to be able to enjoy our day.
Speaker 1: All right, all right, I like it.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 1: Now we're going to move into some questioner. Well, these
Speaker 1: are tougher, but they're specific for me because I am single.
Speaker 1: I was married for many many moons and my husband
Speaker 1: passed away, and so I'm in the dating market. I'm
Speaker 1: not engaged like you are. But you know, if there
Speaker 1: is a god this time next year, I'll be right there.
Speaker 2: If there is a god, he's got you on the
Speaker 2: path that you're supposed to be.
Speaker 1: I actually agree with.
Speaker 2: That, and you will meet someone and you'll be in
Speaker 2: something if and when you're supposed to be. But if
Speaker 2: you're searching for it, you could sidetrack yourself from what
Speaker 2: path you're actually supposed to be on.
Speaker 1: Absolutely agree with you. You're such a wise man. I
Speaker 1: actually agree with you. Okay. So I'm of a certain
Speaker 1: age and I am very fit, and I love to
Speaker 1: work out and I have a lot of energy. So
Speaker 1: I tend to look to date guys younger. So how
Speaker 1: should I dress, because you know, do I want to
Speaker 1: look my age or I want to look younger? You know, sexy,
Speaker 1: short skirt? How do I look sexy? But also, and
Speaker 1: I don't even like the word sexy. How do I
Speaker 1: look that I'm interested and I'm approachable, but also appropriate
Speaker 1: approachable but appropriate. I could have give me these questions earlier,
Speaker 1: but you told me not to.
Speaker 2: I think, you know, I think, I think honestly, you
Speaker 2: should dress the way you dress like it is. It's
Speaker 2: it again. It's going to depend on what it is
Speaker 2: you're doing. If you're meeting somebody for the first time,
Speaker 2: you're going to a nice restaurant, you're going to have dinner,
Speaker 2: you dress appropriately for that, but you still dress the
Speaker 2: way you would dress. Don't dress pretending to be somebody
Speaker 2: else or something else, because I think you're setting yourself
Speaker 2: up for disappointment and failure. You are creating a version
Speaker 2: of yourself that doesn't actually exist. So you're only going
Speaker 2: to be able to maintain that for so long.
Speaker 1: Okay, So mostly you're telling me to dress how I
Speaker 1: feel comfortable. So this means to wear with cowboy boots.
Speaker 1: It means how you would normally dress. Again appropriate to
Speaker 1: the situation. All right, what are younger men attracted to? Like?
Speaker 1: How do I make myself attractive to younger men? Another
Speaker 1: way of saying it, Oh my god, Well, I mean
Speaker 1: you have to decide what you are really looking for
Speaker 1: and if you want to be attracting younger men or not.
Speaker 2: The reality is the younger men tend to be much
Speaker 2: more immature than women do.
Speaker 1: That's true. But here's the thing men my age, you
Speaker 1: know I talk about on my podcast. They're used to guys.
Speaker 1: They used to ski, they used to ride bicycles, they
Speaker 1: used to golf. You were saying that, I said, And
Speaker 1: now they sit on the sofa with the beer and
Speaker 1: you know, and and a big gut and watch, you know,
Speaker 1: watch the march madness. I mean, it's like finding guys
Speaker 1: who share the same energy that I have.
Speaker 2: I think, I think being one hundred percent true to
Speaker 2: your energy is the best thing that you can do. Again,
Speaker 2: because you're going to be you daily. So you can
Speaker 2: show up trying to pretend to be something else, but
Speaker 2: that's not going to last long and you're gonna end
Speaker 2: up going from a relationship to relationship trying to you
Speaker 2: fit some sort of a mold that you don't that
Speaker 2: isn't you. Yeah, And you want to find somebody to
Speaker 2: share your life with, yes, And I also want somebody
Speaker 2: who accepts me for me. Yes, Okay this you know,
Speaker 2: I have a lot of questions to you, so this one, no.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna keep pummeling you. Yeah, but I do.
Speaker 1: I think you are why I mean this truthfully, I
Speaker 1: think you're a smart guy with a lot you have
Speaker 1: sage advice, So I'm going to continue on here. There's
Speaker 1: no surprise to you even though we just met. I
Speaker 1: do have a strong personality, no two ways about it.
Speaker 1: You do. But I also have a soft side. Here's
Speaker 1: the thing about me. You have to get to know
Speaker 1: me before I'm going to show you my soft side.
Speaker 1: And that's just why I'm built. I can't change who
Speaker 1: I am. How do I not intimidate men so that
Speaker 1: they're willing to get to know me.
Speaker 2: I think if you represent yourself in a way where
Speaker 2: you make it obvious that you're closed off to really
Speaker 2: connecting with someone, then it becomes intimidating for people to
Speaker 2: be around you because they feel like, what's it going
Speaker 2: to take for me to like get past the hard
Speaker 2: candy fell and get to the guy center?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: I think you need to. I think there's a certain
Speaker 2: point where you maybe just in being honest in a
Speaker 2: situation and going listen, I am not someone that opens
Speaker 2: up right away. Then somebody knows that, so then they
Speaker 2: don't take it personal that you're not opening up. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but I think if you don't say that and you
Speaker 2: just are, you have these walls up and you you're
Speaker 2: a bit distant, people start taking it personally because that's
Speaker 2: we're human beings, and that's that's kind of the first
Speaker 2: place we go to. It's like, oh, they must not
Speaker 2: like me because they don't want to talk about anything
Speaker 2: beyond this.
Speaker 1: So so I often men have said to me, Wow, Cathy,
Speaker 1: you're beautiful, you're smart, but damn you're a lot and
Speaker 1: I and that hurts my feelings, and so I'll say
Speaker 1: something like I'll say something like I'm I'm too much.
Speaker 1: They'll say you're too much, and I'll say I'm too
Speaker 1: much or maybe you're just not enough because to me,
Speaker 1: if they can't do.
Speaker 2: You say that though as like a defense mechanism to
Speaker 2: feel better for yourself.
Speaker 1: Well, probably because I'm irritated that they don't want to
Speaker 1: take the time or don't have the ability or whatever
Speaker 1: it is, especially if I'm attracted. So you take it
Speaker 1: as an insult right away when you Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: I do, but it's mostly because come on, you're you're
Speaker 1: not you, Brian. But a guy that I meet that
Speaker 1: I'm interested in. Come on, you're a smart guy. Surely
Speaker 1: you see that there's more to me that I can
Speaker 1: have a vulnerable side. Are you just are you not
Speaker 1: willing to do the work? Like I don't want to
Speaker 1: say that, but it's like you got to put some
Speaker 1: energy into this. What because I'm not a sweet, bless
Speaker 1: your little soul kind of girl. But are you are?
Speaker 1: Are you not as a defense mechanism or are you not?
Speaker 2: Because you just honestly aren't.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2: No, Like, is it something that you have built in
Speaker 2: a lifetime of disappointments and things where you're like, I'm
Speaker 2: not going to share and connect right away.
Speaker 1: Instead, I'm going to put this for no I can
Speaker 1: I can tell you honestly, for me, and I've just
Speaker 1: actually put this together recently for me to put myself
Speaker 1: out there and be really be vulnerable and really tell
Speaker 1: someone that I want them in my life. I'm afraid
Speaker 1: of being abandoned again. And you know, my husband died
Speaker 1: by suicide and to me, call it whatever you want,
Speaker 1: it feels like you know he left me. I wasn't
Speaker 1: good enough. There was a reason he left, right, even
Speaker 1: though it's not my fault. I know that, so I
Speaker 1: don't want to be left again. So it's it's you're now,
Speaker 1: you're right. It's sort of a defense mechanism. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to put a lot of energy into this because
Speaker 1: I don't want you leaving me. If I decide I
Speaker 1: want you, and then down the road you say, hey,
Speaker 1: you know what do you want? I mean, what kind
Speaker 1: of a relationship do you want? Are you looking just
Speaker 1: to date? No, I'm looking for a permanent I'm looking
Speaker 1: this is I do Part two. I'm looking for my
Speaker 1: part two. I say it many times, this is the
Speaker 1: last great chapter of my life. I want it to
Speaker 1: be the best chapter. I want it to be the
Speaker 1: you know, the longest it can be, but I want
Speaker 1: it to be the best and greatest chapter of my life,
Speaker 1: notwithstanding the great marriage I had with my husband and
Speaker 1: my three kids. I want to I look to the future.
Speaker 1: I try to look in the rearview mirror. So you know,
Speaker 1: that's kind of what I'm after.
Speaker 2: I think though, So it's interesting that you said that
Speaker 2: that you look to the future instead.
Speaker 1: Of in the rearview mirror.
Speaker 2: But a lot of your actions are looking in the
Speaker 2: rear view mirror.
Speaker 1: Oh, man, this is tough.
Speaker 2: Why do you say, because you have these red flags
Speaker 2: and these things where you're like, Okay, I got to
Speaker 2: make them prove too much. I've experienced this before, so
Speaker 2: I'm going to make sure that this hurdle is cleared
Speaker 2: before I jump in. But then when you look back,
Speaker 2: or to me at least, when I look back on
Speaker 2: my life and I think of my best relationships, my
Speaker 2: best relationship up until the one I'm in now, because
Speaker 2: this one we went into in a new way, which
Speaker 2: was incredibly refreshing, was my first because I went in wholeheartedly.
Speaker 2: I didn't have any of the red flags. I loved
Speaker 2: her and I was in it, and I had never
Speaker 2: had my heart broken before and I never had no
Speaker 2: That was my first real relationship. Was the first time
Speaker 2: I really went into something and went, Okay, I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do a relationship. But I think that you
Speaker 2: have to sort of go into all of the relationships
Speaker 2: in that fresh way. You have to be willing to
Speaker 2: possibly get hurt, to be loved fully, and to be
Speaker 2: in it fully and really really appreciate it and have it.
Speaker 2: You know, it's the hardest things in life, can be
Speaker 2: the most painful sometimes, but you have to be willing to.
Speaker 1: So you're saying the risk is worth the reward, or
Speaker 1: can be. It can be Absolutely, that's great about it.
Speaker 1: I mean I feel like I it's not easy. It's
Speaker 1: not easy, and you're right.
Speaker 2: I mean, I you think the road less traveled is
Speaker 2: called the road less traveled for a reason because it's
Speaker 2: the harder road to take.
Speaker 1: Damn, how did you get to be so smart? I
Speaker 1: year's a failure. Yeah, well, you know, I'm not afraid
Speaker 1: to fail at this point in my life. I don't
Speaker 1: think I'm afraid to fail. I think I'm afraid. I
Speaker 1: think I'm afraid to be accepted for who I am.
Speaker 1: Not afraid that it can't that that's going to be
Speaker 1: really hard because I'm not your typical woman. I know that,
Speaker 1: and that's why, that's why all the that's the genesis
Speaker 1: of all these questions. I think I didn't I was special.
Speaker 1: I'm just different from a lot of my single friends.
Speaker 1: But you are. But don't say that you're not special. Like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm saying I'm not. I'm not. You know, it's a
Speaker 1: loaded term. I'm saying I know who I am. I've
Speaker 1: done a lot of therapy. I am so clear about
Speaker 1: who I am and what I want. But I think
Speaker 1: sometimes that gets lost in the translation.
Speaker 2: Well, and I'm sure a lot of times too, that
Speaker 2: will sort of cloud situations where you meet with somebody
Speaker 2: because you're so set on I am not going to
Speaker 2: be who I don't want to be and this is
Speaker 2: about me now and I'm going to you know, this
Speaker 2: is my power and I'm going to take and you
Speaker 2: can almost It's like putting a big log on a
Speaker 2: tiny fire.
Speaker 1: Wow, you know. I mean, I should be paying for
Speaker 1: this therapy session, right, but I charge so much money.
Speaker 1: I'm worth it. I'm worth it.
Speaker 2: But I think it's I think it's really important to
Speaker 2: identify what you really want.
Speaker 1: I know exactly what.
Speaker 2: It's a real honest, loving relationship. You need to be
Speaker 2: willing to put yourself out for it. You need to
Speaker 2: be willing to take risks for it, and you need
Speaker 2: to be willing to listen. I'm just heartedly jump in
Speaker 2: and go Okay, like this could hurt at the end,
Speaker 2: but this could be amazing.
Speaker 1: But I'm also to remember I was married very young.
Speaker 1: I was twenty, so I'm just learning now. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've got a bunch of other questions that sound so
Speaker 1: inane given what we're talking about. No, but, but, but
Speaker 1: and yet and yet there are questions that are real
Speaker 1: ways to approach the whole idea of dating, if that
Speaker 1: makes sense. And so like, I'm not going to a bar.
Speaker 1: I mean, I go to lots of bars. I get it.
Speaker 1: I totally get it. I go to lots of bars.
Speaker 1: But to meet a guy. I hate dating apps. I
Speaker 1: don't want them. You know, I've met a few guys that.
Speaker 1: But but to meet the kind of guy I want
Speaker 1: my it's not the same that you want to share
Speaker 1: your life that you want it's not the same as
Speaker 1: a So when I think about, you know, do I
Speaker 1: want to go into a bar and say, hey, Brian,
Speaker 1: can I buy you? Know, what's your name, whatever it is,
Speaker 1: you know, can I buy you a drink? Like? I'm
Speaker 1: not that kind of and I'm not. I'm from New England.
Speaker 1: I'm a Boston girl. I'm a Yankee girl, which means
Speaker 1: I say what I think, I mean what I say,
Speaker 1: and I come off. Some people will tell me I'm rude.
Speaker 1: I'm just direct. I don't play games, so you can
Speaker 1: see that doesn't know what's play well, so walking up
Speaker 1: to some guy and say, hey, you know it's your
Speaker 1: name Joe or whatever, like that's really playing games to me.
Speaker 1: And so I want your opinion. How do I How
Speaker 1: do I tweak that? How do I I? So it's
Speaker 1: funny that you said that, because I've had this conversation
Speaker 1: with people before. I'm from Los Angeles and I've had
Speaker 1: a conversation with people before about Oh, I love New
Speaker 1: York because they're just they're honest there and they just
Speaker 1: tell it like it is. And I always have that
Speaker 1: question comes into my mind of are they being honest
Speaker 1: or are they just being rude to because it's easier
Speaker 1: for them.
Speaker 2: It's easier to just be kind of blunt and whatever
Speaker 2: and act like you don't care what anybody.
Speaker 1: But I don't think I'm ever rude. I take it.
Speaker 1: I am. I try to always be kind of people,
Speaker 1: and that's not if you say, what do you think?
Speaker 1: Or I'm joking I'm a joke. But I don't tolerate rudeness.
Speaker 1: I'm I would never describe myself as right.
Speaker 2: I agree like I don't tolerate rudeness either. I I
Speaker 2: work really hard, I live consciously every day to make
Speaker 2: sure that I am kind to everybody that I'm around,
Speaker 2: even if I'm having a bad day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, me too, because you don't know what kind of
Speaker 1: day they're having.
Speaker 2: I always say to people like, the only control that
Speaker 2: I feel like I have in life is the person
Speaker 2: I choose.
Speaker 1: To be when you're living it. Yep, I agree. And
Speaker 1: all the time, right, I do all those things. I
Speaker 1: wake up grateful for life. I thank God every day
Speaker 1: I find something to be grateful about. But here's what
Speaker 1: I get a lot of. I live in Texas, you know,
Speaker 1: and Southern. I'll meet Southern men and they'll say, you know,
Speaker 1: I recently met a guy who said, you're so refreshing
Speaker 1: because you know, I was married to a Southern bell
Speaker 1: and I'm done with Southern bells. I don't want someone
Speaker 1: to want me because I'm the opposite of what they had, right.
Speaker 1: I want somebody wants me for me being me. But
Speaker 1: it's at my age it's really hard. I don't It's like,
Speaker 1: as you get older, you don't have all the tools,
Speaker 1: all the not tools. I don't even know how to
Speaker 1: say it. You don't have access to the game changes.
Speaker 1: It's you know, the board, the game, the board of
Speaker 1: the game changes. It's like that instead of I mean,
Speaker 1: I got all these metaphors. Instead of fifty two cards
Speaker 1: in the deck, let's cut it down to about ten
Speaker 1: cards in the deck because we're not wasting time with
Speaker 1: you know, hi, my name is. You look like Joe.
Speaker 1: So I struggle with being who I am and hoping
Speaker 1: that a guy sees through it.
Speaker 2: Why don't you try making a choice, because that's all,
Speaker 2: that's all it is. I learned in therapy, like the
Speaker 2: things that I wasn't that I wasn't good at, that
Speaker 2: was that was who I was. I try now to
Speaker 2: be the person I want to be compared to the
Speaker 2: person that I am. So I would suggest maybe just
Speaker 2: really making a very poignant choice to be emotionally honest
Speaker 2: with people and sit and go you know this, like
Speaker 2: I normally don't connect this way. I normally don't talk.
Speaker 2: I don't want you to feel put out or or
Speaker 2: feel like or feel like I don't genuinely like you
Speaker 2: and want to try this, But I'm very I've been
Speaker 2: through a lot of my life.
Speaker 1: So what's too soon? What's too soon to say those things?
Speaker 2: Because I say that from the very beginning, I say,
Speaker 2: you start that way, and and then and then if
Speaker 2: I get your too much, they don't. If you get
Speaker 2: your too much, that is not somebody you want to
Speaker 2: be with anyway. But you you, you act that way
Speaker 2: and you speak that way in the hopes that somebody
Speaker 2: really genuinely appreciates who you are and the person you're
Speaker 2: trying to be. And they go, oh, I like that,
Speaker 2: you said that, and thank you for telling me that.
Speaker 2: And so now they've got that in their back pockets,
Speaker 2: so they they don't take things personally, which again, like
Speaker 2: we said before, we tend to do as human beings.
Speaker 1: Your advice, I wish you could be inside my head
Speaker 1: because a lot of what you're saying, like even this
Speaker 1: conversation's hard for me to be honest because you've seen me.
Speaker 1: I'm a joke a minute, I'm sure, just because that's
Speaker 1: easy for me, It's totally I've been this way in
Speaker 1: my whole life. And so but I do let people in.
Speaker 1: I do let people in. But you know the guys
Speaker 1: that say to me, oh, you're so funny, it's like
Speaker 1: make me laugh, you know, it's sometimes I let a
Speaker 1: man in too soon. That's what I struggle with when
Speaker 1: and you just answered the question when is it too soon?
Speaker 1: I guess the answer is it's never too sin, never
Speaker 1: too soon. It's never too sin.
Speaker 2: It's it's better to jump right into it and then
Speaker 2: know right away. Okay, I'm not going to waste time
Speaker 2: on this anymore then to sit and to try and
Speaker 2: like put on a happy face and drag it out
Speaker 2: for three weeks and then all of a sudden be
Speaker 2: kind of emotionally connected to it and then be heartbroken
Speaker 2: if things don't work.
Speaker 1: Okay, So, knowing me as you do, because now we're
Speaker 1: fast friends, what knowing my person, what's the biggest red
Speaker 1: flag I should look up for that's not going to
Speaker 1: serve me well? For you?
Speaker 2: Yeah, somebody, that's somebody that is not going to appreciate
Speaker 2: your honesty. That to me, you are who you are
Speaker 2: and you are special because of that. So you want
Speaker 2: to make sure that you find someone that appreciates and
Speaker 2: loves that and and gets that sense of like, God,
Speaker 2: I know I can I know I can trust you
Speaker 2: because you're not going to bullshit me. And now that
Speaker 2: I know you and I have had this conversation and
Speaker 2: we've really connected, like I know and.
Speaker 1: I have your fiancee's phone number I have to have
Speaker 1: a look over.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I know that like you and I could
Speaker 2: talk at any point no matter what is going on
Speaker 2: in your life or what life is going on in
Speaker 2: my life, that will have this.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Do you think people Do you think people appreciate
Speaker 1: the honesty for sure?
Speaker 2: Okay, I think I think people appreciate, uh, anything that
Speaker 2: normalizes and makes them feel like they're not so alone.
Speaker 1: Okay, I didn't expect to get this. I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't think anyone's gonna be listening to this podcast. But
Speaker 1: but you know what, maybe someone will listen to it
Speaker 1: who I care about or who cares about me and
Speaker 1: will say, wow, now I get it. That is my hope.
Speaker 1: That's not that one person heres.
Speaker 2: So because none of what I'm saying is anything that
Speaker 2: I found on that I came up with on my own.
Speaker 1: This is all.
Speaker 2: These are all things that I've heard and little things
Speaker 2: that people have said that have become light bulb moments
Speaker 2: where I go, it's not nearly as hard.
Speaker 1: Yeah it should it shouldn't be. Okay, Well, I there
Speaker 1: are I probably have another one hundred questions that I
Speaker 1: could ask you. And I mean that, like I've I
Speaker 1: wrote a bunch of questions because I just you know,
Speaker 1: you're you're not a twenty year old and and and
Speaker 1: you've been through life, You've had children, you've had divorce.
Speaker 1: Say is you have a lot of wisdom that comes
Speaker 1: with age. So will you maybe come back and do
Speaker 1: another podcast with me? Okay, I'm gonna save my question. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: thank you, I.
Speaker 2: Really thank you, or you'll come up with new ones
Speaker 2: now that we have the friendship that we do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I really appreciate you sitting down and talking with me,
Speaker 1: and I mean that, Brian, Thanks, thanks so much. Do
Speaker 1: you need some advice straight from a man? Call us
Speaker 1: or email us. All the infos in the show notes.
Speaker 1: Follow us on socials. Make sure to rate and review
Speaker 1: the podcast. I Do Part two an iHeartRadio podcast where
Speaker 1: falling in love is the main objective.